Days of Our Start
by Lee Totema
Summary: Rewrite of "Days of Our Lives." Huh. I was driving home from work and now I'm in Dragon age world. It's 3 years before the Fifth Blight. So what do I do? Be the handmaiden to Oriana and hope I don't die. Self Insert. Multiple Origins. Rated T for mild swearing and adult themes. Updates every 4 days.
1. And So It Begins

Day Unknown

Many things have happened. Many incredible, unbelievable, unfathomable things have happened. Really it's hard to absorb everything thus far but…well…Let's start at the beginning shall we?

It was a normal day at work. I got out, walked to my car, and started to drive. It was my Friday so I could go home and relax! I was driving down like normal. Nothing seemed remotely different from anything else I did. As I continued down my lane, bam! Eighteen wheeler hit my van. I felt the most agonizing pain. My body burned. Even worse than childbirth and I went through that twice.

Then I started thinking that this was the end. This is how I was going to die. Hit by a person who didn't think to follow the safety rules of the road; dying in a splatter inside of my van or my body horribly contorting as all my bones and muscles are broken and torn. This was my end. I thought about my kids, they were so young. My daughter wasn't even two yet.

Then I realized that I was still thinking. Was this the afterlife? Was I going to be this soul living in pure darkness with only regrets plaguing my mind until I devolve or get completely destroyed?

I felt a floating sensation of some kind like the warmth of a mother that's carrying you to the bedroom. Then the sensation was gone and I felt something hard underneath me. Breathe entered my lungs and the pain was gone. I gathered up my courage and opened my eyes.

This place was familiar to me and yet at the same time it was the oddest thing I have ever seen. Huge islands were floating in the sky that was painted misty green. Everything seemed to look fuzzy to me as if I couldn't focus on anything. I was lying on the ground, unsure if this was the afterlife or maybe even purgatory.

I sat up. My surroundings were as alien to me as the sky was. I was in a vast valley with mountains towering over the horizon. I grabbed at the earth beneath my hands and crumbled it. This felt like dirt, the soft malleable damp earth I was used to but something was wrong. None of this seemed right to me. I tried to get up but things started to spin and my eyes burned as I saw a blinding white light in front of me. Terror gripped my chest briefly before a feeling of love silenced the fear. The light dimmed and soon appeared as a halo.

I only had a second to be awed before I felt the earth beneath my feet give way again. I gasped in fright and reached for that beautiful light with all the strength I could muster, but it was for naught. I was falling from that strange place. I heard wind passing through and my back hit roughly against water. I gasped as I broke the surface and quickly calmed myself as to stay afloat but that panic was right behind my eyes.

I heard groaning sounds then I saw something a mile away. There was a ship, caught on fire with people screaming to get out. I couldn't believe what I was seeing but that flight or fight instinct kicked in and adrenaline started to pump in my veins. I couldn't stay there and the water was beginning to hurt my body with how cold it was. The questions would come later. I saw lights near me that wasn't the ship's flames and swam as hard as I could towards them.

There were others that were swimming with me, holding onto the wreckage or some product that was floating to help them along. I finally got close enough to where I saw piers and people helping survivors. The water smelled like sewage and felt greasy. I wanted to vomit but I swallowed it down. I had to concentrate on getting out.

"Here, grab onto this!" I heard a man shout as he tossed out a rope. I swam toward it and grabbed it. "Heave boys!" I felt my body being dragged across the water and up the pier. Two men grabbed at my shirt that was torn into shreds and pulled me onto the pier. I gasped as the sudden rush started to leave and my body creaking and shivering.

"Get them to the apocotharies or healers!" Another man shouted, donned in full chainmail. There was chaos all down the docks as people rushed to save those who needed help. I leaned over the pier and vomited into the water. My mind absorbed everything it was seeing. I tried to think that this was one of my wild dreams that I could never make sense of. The thing that clued me in that this was all real was my shivering body and a man that was leading me away from the wreckage. It was another one of those men with the chainmail.

He was huge but his face looked familiar. I tried to focus on his face with the low lights of the torches, and yes they used torches! Unfortunately, he passed me off to another woman that was nearby that took out a blanket and wrapped me in it.

"Here, try to dry yourself off with this. Nina, we need a fresh pair over here!" She shouted in a British accent. I looked all around and saw more survivors being shoved with dry cloths and blankets to ease off the cold, the fire of the ship slowly going down as it faced the cold sea floor. Another young woman that had pointy ears gave me some clothes.

"Change into these, we have partitions right behind you lest you get any stares from those sailor pigs." She scoffed and went on her way. I checked the clothes. They were rough with odd colors. I looked around. Everyone had these types or some armor on. It was a lot to take in at once. I went behind the partition. There were a few woman, some kids changing into dry clothes, all shivering. I took a small corner and looked at my torn clothes.

I still wore my chef's pants and my shirt was barely hanging onto me. Then I realized that I was still bleeding. I had numerous cuts all over my body. I made sure no one was looking right at me. They weren't. Most likely they were still worrying about the accident. I quickly took off my shirt and put what appeared to be a tunic on. I took off my pants but kept my underwear on. I had a gash on the side of my left thigh that seemed to stretch towards my hip.

I took what was left of my own clothes and ripped them to try to use them as make shift bandages. They stayed on while I put on the leggings. I stayed with my waterlogged tennis shoes and socks. I had very few things in my pockets. My wallet, a few piping tips, my notebook, pen, marker, and my phone that I had put in a plastic bag earlier because it got washed with sticky meringue earlier in my job. Thank God for Ziploc bags.

I made sure to put them in the pockets of my leggings and wrapped the blanket over me again. I felt a huge surge of fatigue as I got out from the partition where another pair of hands dragged me over to a man with a desk. He had bags under his eyes and a checklist in front of him.

"Give him your name and where you're from." The guard left me in the line toward the desk. I couldn't pay attention. I felt woozy, light headed, and I wanted to faint right then and there. Then I started to hear what these people were talking. Denerim. Amaranthine. Kirkwall. Antiva City. Starkhaven. Orlais. My eyes widened.

I couldn't trust what they were talking about where these people were from but then I looked around and started to make the connections. Rough linen clothing that resembled something from the Middle Ages, wooden ships, chainmail, torches, and not a single electric bulb anywhere. Even then I couldn't fathom or even begin to accept where I was until I reached the deck.

"Name?" He asked. I gaped, my mouth fluttering as I couldn't find my voice. "Take your time." He said patiently.

Should I give out my true name? It was exotic and I doubt people could even pronounce it so I chose something else.

"N…Nia." I said quietly. He wrote it down.

"Where are you from Ms. Nia?" He asked.

"Ah…where? Where…?" I looked down, wondering how I should answer.

"The ship was due to dock in Antiva City for wares from Denerim. I know it was a horrible accident but we need a list of those that boarded as we lost the original list before. We'll try to sort everything out later." He explained. I chose the safest bet considering the way I looked.

"Antiva City." I said quietly. He filled out some forms, put a stamp on something, and let me go. At this point my light headedness was becoming detrimental to my health. There was too much to absorb, too much information all at once, and I was sure that I lost too much blood.

My feet kept on moving from the docks to the inner city. This was Denerim. These crud encrusted streets, the stone pavements, the darkness from no lights, and the massive amount of stars in the sky was Denerim. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. I wanted to think that this was one of my wild dreams, something that couldn't happen. I was going to wake up now. I was going to wake up in a hospital with machines all around me surrounded by the people I loved. Yes, that was what was going to happen.

Instead, I tripped on a lose rock and hit my head.

I don't know how long it was before I realized that I was on something hard with those rough blankets over me again. I heard faint whispers and my head was burning. My throat was dry and my lips were cracked. I opened my eyes just a smidge. I knew a ceiling when I saw one. There was a dance of fire and I felt its warmth. I think I saw a ray of sunshine as well. I heard some clinking next to me and turned my head. My eyes couldn't focus but at least my ears could work.

"Maker, this one sure is a fighter." I heard a tired voice say. I think he rubbed his face and sighed.

"So she's still alive?" I heard someone else ask.

"Barely. That wound on her leg is infected. You're lucky you found her when we did otherwise she wouldn't have lasted another day. You do have the payment for this I hope?" The older one said, raising my head up with a clay cup that had water in it. I drank greedily. I coughed slightly as I felt a cool and earthy smelling balm being put on my leg.

"I…well…" I heard feet shuffling. The other one sighed again.

"The last one died so I didn't charge you for it. Let's see if she can afford to live."

I blacked out again. My dreams, nightmares, and waking life seem to blend into a menagerie of frightening images and a misty green sky that I couldn't understand. When I woke up again I seemed to be in better health. My clothes were changed again and a surge of panic went through me before I realized that the other leggings were at the foot of my bed. I quickly gathered my things again.

I looked around and observed my surroundings. I was in a small room with various tables and alchemical instruments. The fire still raged and there was a small window where I saw that it was turning dusk. I took off the covers and my shoes were gone. I sighed before I tried to put my feet on the floor. I still wasn't one hundred percent yet. The door opened and in walked a middle aged man with a stern gaze and a small beard.

"You are awake." He said gruffly before going over to the table with various herbs I think.

"I…uh…um." I gulped.

"An acquaintance of mine brought you here. The shipwreck was a bad one. I'm surprised you still live. That infection ravaging through your body was a tough one. Here, drink this." He gave me a clay bowl that smelled of grass and honey. I made a face. "I saved your life. You might as well follow my orders."

I couldn't fight with that logic. I took a breath and took a big gulp of the mixture. Wait, should I really be accepting weird smelly things from strangers and drinking it? Too late. It was beyond disgusting. I coughed and gagged.

"Drink all of it. The Elfroot is fresh. Dried always tastes better." He explained. I grimaced again but did as he asked.

"Blegh." I stuck my tongue out and passed him the bowl. He gave me something to drink that tasted remotely like cider. It was enough to at least take that dreaded taste from my mouth away.

"And your name?" He asked, crossing his arms. I fidgeted with my hands.

"It's Nia." I said. That slight wooziness I had early seemed to ebb off and I felt like myself again.

"A survivor of the wreckage. You must have been near the explosion to have gotten so many injuries. Rest assured, you are perfectly healthy now." He said, gathering his ingredients.

"Um…I don't…understand? How did I-"

"I brought some coin but I'm not sure if this will…" A short odd looking man came into the room. He had dark red hair and a dark tan. When he saw me, he gave a huge smile. "You're alive! I can't believe it!" He ran over to me while I cowered on the cot.

"Don't spook the girl!" The older one said. The younger one backed off and gave me a sheepish smile. He had those pointed ears as well.

"Sorry, sorry! I just, wow! Looks like the Maker heard my prayers after all. Oh sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. You looked like you were near death! You're ok I take it?" He asked with a grin. I nodded.

"Now, about the payment." The gruff mas asked.

"Here. It was all I was able to scrounge up." The red haired guy gave the pouch to the other one and he slowly counted.

"Hmph, you're two sovereigns short." The gruff man asked.

"Two!? I thought we agreed-"

"That was if she died. She's in fine health now she can afford to pay." The gruff man looked toward me.

"She was caught in the blaze. Do you really think she has anything to her name?" I was starting to really like this red haired elf.

"Not my problem. You were the one trying to break down my door to save someone you should have left to die in the streets. Two sovereigns are needed to pay me back and I will be holding it to both of you." The gruff man left the room with the pouch and the red haired elf scoffed and shook his head.

"Forgive him. He usually doesn't do this anymore and his bed side manner is terrible. Oh! I haven't introduced myself have I? My name is Rael Tabris. That old grump you just saw is Thomas." Rael said. My mouth nearly dropped on the floor. The guy who saved me was one of the many origins you could have chosen.

"I'm Nia." I said quickly.

"Pleased to meet you. Not that pleasing anyway. I'm sorry that I caused your debt just as you lost everything but don't worry. Now that you're healed up, I'm sure we can find you a job easy. Well, easier since you're a human. Not that there's anything wrong with humans! Oh sorry, I'm rambling." He rubbed his head sheepishly. He reminded me of Merrill without the blood magic background. "I'm sure you were only here in Denerim for business and that you would like to go home soon. If you could really find a job and help me pay back Thomas, I would really appreciate it." He nodded.

"Um…I…" I looked at the ground.

"Oh that was rude wasn't it? It's not that I can't pay back what Thomas said it's just common sense right? Thomas said you're free to go but I might be able to convince him to let you stay, until you get back up on your feet of course." Rael explained quickly. I was growing panicky and I think he saw it. "Well, you better get some rest. I'll come by tomorrow in the morning!" He went out as well.

I sat back on the cot, trying to absorb everything that has happened. I remembered my accident, the water, the ship. Then I guess I was saved by Rael that found me after I passed out and now I'm saddled with debt the minute I was woke up by a grumpy healer.

It took all I had not to hit my head against the wall repeatedly to try to convince myself that this wasn't real.

Yet here I am writing with my pen as my marker died in the water in my dried out notebook that's all crinkled.

It's going to take all of me not to go insane.

* * *

 **Beta'd by the lovely FearaNightmare, Inspired by Wyolake and Middle of Nowhere, read Dragonborne another good SI!**

 **Ok sorry for the mix up people! But I'm keeping the original where it is and uploading this as the new story so the ones that were reading my old story can still read about it. Either way, things are going to be changing and stuff around here definitely!**


	2. Why Help Me?

Day 3?

Really the only things that I've been doing was helping scale out herbs for Thomas and have Rael come by to say hi. The room that was provided for me was small but the cot was extremely uncomfortable. I was sleeping on a wooden rack with a slightly puffed up blanket. My back was killing me.

Since I arrived I finally was able to really analyze the situation I was in. For some strange work of fate, I am now in my favorite video game; Dragon Age and as to why I was there? No clue.

"These are the wrong ones!" Thomas argued with an herb gatherer. The only thing I was able to do is sit around waiting for Rael to come and tell me about his day. At this point, I haven't even gone outside into the city properly. The date was still lost to me but the problem at this point wasn't that I couldn't communicate; it was that I couldn't read.

Dragon Age letters are weird, dwarven-like type letters. Big and blocky and are semi-familiar yet at the same time, completely unreadable. I have just become illiterate. As Thomas argued with the gatherer, Rael slipped in and went into my room.

"Morning Nia! How's your health today?" He asked.

"I'm fine." I shrugged. The events from the past days were still haunting me. It was going to take more time to get used to everything.

"Perfect. What do you say to a walk out in the city? You must be tired being all cooped up in this room. Not only that, we need to find you a job so you can help pay back Thomas with me!" Rael winked and laughed. I gave him a deadpanned look. "He saved your life you know?"

"I know…It's just…" I sighed. "I'm still getting used to all of this." I rubbed my face. Rael pulled up a chair next to my cot.

"Ok I understand that. You lost everything and your way home but you can't stay here and not do anything either. As much as I hate it, this world revolves around coin and trust me when I say Thomas will kick you out unless you start paying him back. Now, what did you do before you got caught in that shipwreck?" Rael asked. His eyes bored into me. He was serious in helping me and I would be stupid not to take that offer.

"I was a cook, mostly pastry but I'm good with everything." I explained. Rael rubbed his chin and looked thoughtful. He snapped his fingers.

"I know just where to go! Come on." Rael grabbed my wrist and we went out the back door. I was finally out of that house and we walked through the alleyways. They were tightly packed but I saw a few roads leading to spacious centers. Rael let go of my wrist and I followed him closely. There were many people out and about surprisingly. There were always reports of Denerim alleys being full of thugs.

"Ok I'm only going to ask because I'm confused but where are we going?" I asked, almost tripping in a pot hole.

"I've always done odd jobs here and there throughout the city so I'm always seeing what's different and changed. There was a bakery that lost one of its hires because she gave birth. I know the store owner so, as long as you have experience, you'll be hired." Rael nodded and gave me a thumbs up. I gave him a deadpanned look.

"I really hope you know what you're doing." I sighed.

"Well you're not supposed to trust strangers and I'm not supposed to trust humans but the world isn't so black and white." Rael chuckled. After many twists and turns, I ended up in a street near the marketplace. Rael gave me a confident smile and went inside. I followed quickly after and I heard a bell ring when I opened the door. I was hit with warmth and the familiar scent of sweets and flour in the air. It smelled like home.

There were various racks with different types of bread. Baguettes, rolls, some with anise, some that were baked as different figures. Loaves were all over the place, different colors, smells, and that was not even getting to the rack with the sweet bread. I was in awe that something like this existed in Denerim. Of course bakeries were everywhere even since the middle ages back home but to see it in person was amazing. There was a woman cleaning the counter, a big set woman with her auburn hair in a tight bun.

"Ah Rael, came to try to steal some bread again with your fancy smile?" She laughed. Rael chuckled and shook his head.

"Actually I'm here to see if you still needed help." Rael walked behind me and put his hands on my shoulders, pushing me to the front. "She's young, fit, and pretty to bring in the customers!" She gave me a calculating stare.

"Hmm, does she know her way around a kitchen?" She frowned at me.

"I've had experience working." I nodded. "I swear I will work hard!" I bowed really low.

"Hmph, we'll see about that. Get back in there girl and we'll get you started. My name is Gretchen or, in your case, ma'am." Gretchen said. Rael slapped me on the back.

"Just do what you normally do. I'm going to work at the port and come to pick you up! Good luck!" Rael smiled at me really big before leaving. I swear he lives at his own pace but it was good to have him around. When I followed Gretchen back into the kitchen, it was amazing. They had a rotating deck oven! Racks were everywhere and there were tons of bowls containing dough. The bags of flour and sugar were all strewn about and there was another man sweeping up the remnants of the day.

"We baked off our pars for the day and the dough is resting for tomorrow. Do you know how to make Orlesian Eclairs?" Gretchen asked.

"I've made them from time to time." I nodded hesitantly. Gretchen gave me a recipe and we went over to the stove. The man threw in some wood to get it going. It reminded me of what my grandmother had a long time ago.

The day was passed with me mostly making back up of some of the sweet cakes they were selling. The other man was called Dirk. We passed the time with mostly Gretchen showing me everything in the kitchen, the orders we get in the morning, her recipe book, as well as the storage they had in there. After she showed me everything, she gave me a handful of bread and led me out. Gretchen gave me a hard stare before patting me on the shoulder.

"Keep up the pace that you showed today from now on. Here, something for the work you gave today. Come in a few hours before dawn and I'll show you more." Gretchen smirked. I felt that ball of pride within me and I nodded vigorously, making sure the pouch I had in my hand didn't fall with my bread. Gretchen and Dirk went their separate ways while I stayed behind near the bakery.

I saw the position of the sun and realized it was getting close to late afternoon and I've been here since morning. I shuffled my feet and moved the bread to a more comfortable position. I had no way of knowing when Rael would be coming for me. I wouldn't even take my chance trying to find my way back to the clinic.

I looked into the pouch that Gretchen gave me. There were three silvers inside. If that was for one day of work, I'm going to be in Denerim for a very long time. About nine months give or take and that's if I give up all the silvers I get to Thomas. The work wouldn't be too hard since it was something I was used to doing though the revolving deck oven and the stove powered by wood burning would take some time getting used to.

And once I pay off Thomas then what? I have no way of getting back home. There are ways of getting into the fade but physically? That's practically impossible! It took thousands of sacrificed people to even open a rift to allow the magisters to go in the first place. Then of course there was the Herald but I didn't know how long I would have to wait for that. I didn't know if I could even survive up to that point. I wasn't a fighter and the only reason why I was so good with knives was because of my job. Even then I almost cut off a finger twice and a knuckle once.

Exactly what can I do? And how would I go home? I couldn't stay away forever. I had to get back as soon as possible and get to my kids and my husband. It would be difficult without my paycheck. Yet nothing was coming to mind on how I would be able to begin to go home. This was going to be very difficult and the more I thought about it, the more overwhelmed I started to feel.

"Nia are you ok?" Rael panted. Sweat dripped from his brow and his cheeks were flushed. I nodded and he put his hands on his knees and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I was late. Ever since that fire, work has been hounding me to get it clean." He chuckled and coughed at the same time.

"Did you run all the way here from the port?" I asked. He stood up and leaned against the wall next to me.

"Yeah I did! I couldn't leave you alone since you don't know your way back, just give me a second to catch my breath." Rael laughed. I chuckled and he gave me a gaping look. "You laughed! Ha!"

"I couldn't help it." I chuckled. "You look a little silly right now." Rael gave me a toothy grin and put his arm around me.

"Oh! Is that bread for me?!" Rael sniffed at it.

"You do know you're wiping your musky scent and sweat on me right now right?" I gave him an annoyed glance. Rael laughed and took away his arm. I gave him a loaf and he started to eat it.

"I'm going to need to come here in the early morning so I was wondering if you could give me markers on how we got here in the first place." I asked as I tried to remember the way back.

"You're going to come here around dark? That's dangerous you know?" Rael stated.

"I know." I sighed. "But Gretchen told me I had to wake up early to get the bread ready. I already have this job. I have to do everything I can to keep it." I adjusted the bread again. Rael seemed deep in thought.

"I might be able to stay over then if I give Thomas my pay for today so I can at least walk with you. I don't want you getting hurt of course." Rael laughed. I stopped in my tracks and he noticed.

"I don't get it. Why are you doing all of this for me? You don't even know me and, not only that, you're an elf. Aren't you supposed to hate me? What do you get out of this?" I bit my lip and shuffled my feet, holding to my bread tightly. It wasn't that I didn't trust him but good people like this didn't really exist anywhere. Even more since he's an elf and he's supposed to hate humans. Rael gave me a sad smile and looked down.

"I know how it feels to have nothing to your name and nothing to gain. I live in the slums, that's where elves are supposed to be. The Alienage is nothing but a soul sucking place with shacks so tightly built together that you can hear a person sneeze from the third floor. The chill moves in so quickly that we have people dying of pneumonia constantly in the winter time and there is no hope anywhere. The nobles push us around and kidnap our woman to have their way with them because they can." Rael explained, leaning against a stone wall. He always looked so peppy, full of smiles but now I see the lines on his face and that light in his eyes were gone.

"You have every right to hate me." I said quietly.

"I do. I really do. Humans have done nothing for elves except march against us and force us into Alienages…but I don't. My mother taught me that there is a cycle of hatred that is always turning. Humans hate elves and then elves hate humans. Then my people try to rise up, the humans slaughter them, causing more hate which we then teach our kids. Then they grow up and rise again and then get slaughtered again. No matter what we're getting killed like dogs which is why we need to find another solution. Everyone sees me as a traitor because I try to get friendly with humans but we have no other choice. This is the only way we can survive." Rael rubbed his face.

"So where does that bring me into the equation?" I asked. Rael chuckled tiredly.

"Well, we all have to start somewhere right? Truth is I was heading toward the dock to…to end it all. I lost my mother, more of my friends died in a stupid rebellion, and it seemed that nothing I did made any difference. Then I saw the ship caught fire and I started to help anyone I could see. At that point it didn't matter if I was an elf, people were dying and they needed me. Then I saw you collapsed in an alley and…for once I found a reason to not throw myself in the ocean." Rael confessed. It made me want to pat his head or hug him but I decided not to. "So I'm barely hanging on to just one reason to keep on living. That's the truth as to why I'm doing all of this. Sorry." Rael chuckled weakly.

"I do owe you my life so if you want to use that as a reason to keep on living then you can. That's fine with me." I nodded. Rael chuckled.

"Well, now that the depressing heart-to-heart chat is over, time to head on to Thomas'. With the bread you got, we'll have a decent dinner this time!" Rael pumped his fist and we both started to walk. I sympathized with him and his situation as best as I could. As of now the reality of my situation hasn't hit me but from what he explained I remembered that this world was not nice and good was hard to come by. I hoped that I would be able to find a way home soon.

* * *

 **Beta'd by the beautiful FearaNightmare!**

 **So here we are in chapter two already! It took me some inspiration to finish this...so why Tabris? I was always curious to explore the other origins but could only explain a few in DoOL (Days of Our Lives) and some other ones later on. So there will be mention of the others, some happy, some not so happy.**

 **As per old times I will update every 4 days. Any questions you have you can message me or review! I really hope everyone likes the changes that I have made and the story will get to DA:O eventually!**


	3. Days Go By

Day 8

I was able to buy a decent sized journal with the money I got from Gretchen. The hours weren't different from back home and, although the work was heavier, I was able to keep up my pace. Gretchen really liked the fact that I was eager to learn and quick to pick up on things. Dirk was mostly silent but his stature was able to scare the thieves that tried to steal some bread from us. Rael accompanied me at night to make sure I got to the bakery safe. Thomas wasn't all too keen to have an elf sleeping over but he minded it if only because Rael gave him a pouch of money.

After Rael's explanation, I've been making sure to talk to him about anything and everything to keep his mind off his situation. Since he opened up with me, I decided to open up myself as well. I started to talk to him about my children, about my husband. I tweaked my home slightly to fit my story as well. He listened aptly and didn't ask too many questions that would give me away.

On one of my days off, Rael caught me writing in my journal and looked at my writing. He made a confused look but let me write nonetheless. All he did was watch over my shoulder as I wrote in my journal at the table. Then I got tired of his curious glances and sighed, letting my charcoal that I got from my work, drop.

"Yes Rael? If you have a question, you know you can ask." I said.

"Your letters are so weird. Who taught you how to write?" He asked as he grabbed my journal. "I can barely make out some of your words. You have horrible handwriting." I pouted and quickly snatched my journal from his hands.

"At least I can read it…" I mumbled defiantly. Rael chuckled and took my journal back and wrote in it.

"See? This is how you need to write." Rael stated while giving me back my journal. I couldn't read what he wrote. I bit the inside of my cheek and my brow furrowed. "You can't read that, can you?" Rael asked, sitting down at the table. I did a quick glance up and then looked down. I frowned and shook my head.

"No. I can't read." I mumbled, my cheeks getting red from embarrassment and shame.

"No wonder your penmanship is atrocious. Fine! I'll add that to my list! I'll teach you." Rael chuckled and patted my head. My cheeks burned but being around Rael felt nice.

"Thank you." I said sincerely.

"Ok but first these are the letters and of course the numbers." Rael started to explain while scribbling all over my journal.

"Can't you at least find some parchment or a vellum and not on my journal!" I snatched my journal back again. Rael chuckled and pinched my cheek.

"Oh come on it's just a journal, why are you being so protective over it?" Rael hummed, putting his chin in his hand and leaning against the table.

"It helps me deal with things and it's private." I explained while hugging the journal close to my chest. Rael laughed.

"So secretive." Rael poked my cheek. I stuck my tongue at him.

August 18th 9:27

I finally got the date! And I'm surprised to know that I am three years before the fifth blight. I didn't think something like this would even happen. It's always the same thing, person would get to the fifth blight as it's starting and automatically become a Grey Warden and boom, save the world. Here I am with no experience in fighting, a cook, and smack dab in Denerim. Still, I have a roof over my head, food, and a steady income so I'm grateful.

It's been eleven days since I came and things have gotten into a set regime. I would get up early and go off to Gretchen's Bakery. I have the way memorized now but Rael was insistent in taking me every night. As he taught me the alphabet, he was also teaching me several easy defense tricks. 'Just in case,' he said.

He started talking about his mother too. Rael told me that it was she that taught him to fight and use daggers. She even taught him how to pick locks. Rael gave me a small knife to carry everywhere in case I needed it. Although I knew my way with a knife, I didn't know how to fight with it. We practice after he teaches me how to read and write.

Thomas didn't like the fact that Rael was staying with us but we both paid him every day so he begrudgingly accepted it. He often warned Rael not to have the guards catch him. Elves weren't allowed to live outside of the alienage and Rael has been with me for nearly two weeks. Thomas was a grumpy old man but he did give respect where respect was due. He apparently was Rael's mother's friend and that's why he accepts Rael.

"You really are a fast learner." Rael said, looking over my penmanship on some spare vellum. I felt a bit a pride swell and smile.

"Thanks." I giggled.

"A few of your letters suck though." Rael said bluntly. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm trying at least." I sighed.

August 27th 9:27

"No like this. First if someone is trying to stab you, you block the hand that holds the weapon and hit at their throat. Don't hit too hard or you might crush their windpipe and kill them. You only want them get stunned." Rael explained while showing me the moves. We were using a really stiff baguette as a knife while Thomas was weighing in some herbs. I was shaking slightly as he was showing me this and I had a stiff face.

"I'm not sure if I should-" I started.

"You need to learn how to defend yourself Nia. I won't always be there to protect you. Now come on and don't hesitate." Rael said, coming at me slowly with the baguette in hand. I whimpered slightly. I have never gotten into a fight since elementary school and that was only consisted of slapping. He moved slowly and I did how he asked besides hitting him in the throat. "You need to block harder. That wimpy block will only have him slash you and not stab you. Come on, like you mean it!"

"I can't! I have never fought before!" I whined.

"Stop being so cowardly and grow some balls!" Rael shouted at me.

"But-" I moaned like a child. He hit me on the head with the baguette. "Ow!"

"Alright, we can still do this but we need to think about it in a different matter. Think about this; I'm a home invader and your children are right behind you. Are you going to stand and fight or run while your kids die behind you?" Rael asked seriously. I clenched my teeth and felt the rage rise inside. "There we go, that's the face I wanted to see! Now, I'm coming at you so be ready!" He came at me faster but I focused on the situation he explained. I blocked the hand with the fake baguette knife and punched his throat. He came out coughing and my guilt immediately replaced the rage.

"Oh my God, I am so sorry!" I cried out, helping him to a chair. Thomas laughed at his desk.

"About time you hit him! I've been waiting for that all week!" Thomas cackled and slapped his desk. I frowned at him while Rael cleared his throat.

"Good." Rael squeaked out and I gave him something to drink. "That's how you need to fight. I'll teach you more later but for now we might as well get some sleep. Also, try to invest in some warmer clothing. Ferelden tends to get colder once we start getting closer to Harvestmere." Rael laughed. "You got me good but remember that's as strong as your punch needs to go. Anymore and you might accidentally kill someone. You don't want that on your conscious right?" I shook my head furiously. Rael nodded. "Good girl."

"Thank you again Rael, for doing all of this for me." I said sincerely, fidgeting with my shirt. Rael gave me his toothy grin.

"Of course."

9:27 Kingsway/September 7th

It has been a full month since I've been in Denerim. Rael doesn't stay with us anymore since he feels that I was able to handle myself for the most part. It was lonely not being able to see him in the mornings. My little corner now has a small drawer for my clothes and a small tub for when I needed a bath. I have been taking care of Thomas' home by cleaning and organizing when I could. I was able to read for the most part but my penmanship still needed work. I've switched to those letters for my journal as well. I've taken over cooking, cleaning, and laundry for Thomas. He's very grateful for it as his back was starting to suffer. Thomas was 54 years old and pains sometimes wracked his body.

I liked doing these things. It made me feel less of a burden. Thomas did snap and told me that just because I was doing this didn't mean that he was going to lower my debt. Either way, I hated feeling useless at home.

Home, now that was a word I barely used. My phone was tucked away in a secret corner of my drawer. It didn't turn on, not like I expected it to though. Whether it worked or not was a mystery. The memories of my children and my husband rang very clearly though. How were they? Were the kids behaving? Did my husband miss me? How's their finances? What about my mom, my brother, my dad? I couldn't know and I didn't have any way of knowing how they were.

I kept thinking that I was stuck in here and truthfully the only one who might have the answers is in a shack in the Korcari Wilds. There was no way I could even make a trek by myself. I was hesitant in venturing and exploring the city let alone the wilds outside. There were so many questions I had and no answers.

Not only that, I started to have weird dream about that misty green place with the floating islands. They were only fleeting glimpses and faded memories but I remember being there for the past few nights. I wondered what it was. Either way my hands were full on trying to learn everything I could on how to read, write, and fight. I never knew my life would be playing out this way and the only reason why I haven't completely broken down yet was because of Rael and my journal.

But God Almighty, do I miss my family…

9:27 Kingsway/September 13th

"Wow…" I breathed out. The smell of rotten fish, sewage, and the musk of the workers permeated my nose but nothing could stop me from being awed by the size of the ships and the vast ocean in front of me. I coughed slightly from the smell but watched the ripples of the water as I stood near the pier. The sailors were all looking at me with curious glances but they weren't the ones I was looking for. I held on to the cloth that held the extra food that I made at Thomas' place.

"Nia! What are you doing here?" Rael asked as I spotted him moving cargo. His bandana was fitted tightly over his head with a few of his red locks peeking out. I see now why he has such a dark tan. Working out here underneath the sun would do that to you.

"Here. I made some extra food and since today was a rest day I thought about bringing it to you." I took the cloth that held the food in a small metal pot along with another cloth that held some dried fruit and bread. Rael's face grew red as a few of the other workers howled and whistled.

"That boy got whipped!"

"Oi does she have a sister!"

"Get a room!"

"Be quiet! We're not like that!" Rael shouted back but they all kept on shouting things. Rael growled in frustration and led me away to a quiet ally. Rael shuffled and rubbed the back of his head. "Thank you but try to be careful. Sailors that come back after a long trip with no women tend to get grabby."

"I'll just stab their hand or break a few fingers." I shrugged. Rael chuckled and took the food. He opened the pot and there was stew inside. We both sat on crates as he ate.

"It's good but you didn't have to give it to me you know?" Rael chuckled sheepishly.

"I noticed that you have sullen cheeks and a little on the skinny side so I wondered if I could get you to fill out by giving you some food." I fidgeted with my tunic. Rael patted me on the head.

"Thank you. Now that I noticed it, you're on the short side for a human." Rael laughed as I pinched his cheek. "No but really, thank you for this. I haven't had good food made for me like this for a while."

"Doesn't your family cook for you?" I wondered. Rael scratched at his nose and shrugged.

"It's only a few cousins and my dad now. We don't get any good food at my part of town either. We try to grow some herbs or potatoes but we go through those quickly. The thing about tight knit communities like mine? Everything is everyone's. Clothes quickly become hand-me-downs to other families, food is shared amongst everyone with the kids getting the better share, and anyone with spirits is quickly drained. The only thing we don't share is money. You need to be careful though because if you try to save money and they catch wind of it? You'll find a broken down door and everything gone." Rael scowled.

"Supposedly we should be helping one another out but every group has a rotten apple or, in my case, apples. There are some elves that all they do is try to mooch off the rest and even if you try to get them jobs, they won't because they are being taken care of by everyone. It makes the ones that actually try look bad. I love my family. My dad keeps working even though he's old and his knees hurt. My cousin Shianni, even with her loose mouth, works hard at being a seamstress. We try so hard but trying doesn't account for nothing if we're only stomped to the ground." Rael ripped the bread in half and bit into it angrily.

I sat there watching him eat silently and brought my hands together. There was nothing I could do. I had no seat of power to help the elves and it was true what he said. It would take a miracle to even get an elf into a normal life where he wouldn't be looked down by everyone. I looked at his ears, the lack of hair on his face, his cheekbones, those slanted and clear eyes. It was these differences that marked him as an elf and, according to this world's logic, lower than a human. It wasn't fair but there was nothing I could do.

"I wish I could help." I mumbled softly, looking down at my intertwined hands. Rael place his hand on top of mine and gave me a clear stare.

"You are helping, you're listening to me." Rael said softly. Then a passing sailor whistled where we were sitting and Rael stood up quickly. "I said shut it!" They went off laughing and there was redness on his cheeks. He groaned audibly and put the metal pot together and gave it to me.

"Thank you for this. I'll visit you later on ok? Also the next time you come, try not to look so pretty." Rael laughed before walking off back to carry cargo. I tilted my head and my eyebrow rose in confusion. I was not pretty and I didn't even do anything. All I had on were normal clothes and my hair was up in a tie. I shrugged and headed back to Thomas'.

* * *

 **Yay! Next chapter! Beta'd by Fearanightmare. The start of this is going to be more slower as I'm trying to expand on how Nia gets to learn how to fight as well as filling in some character development with her and Eren once he comes along.**

 **Shout out to FearaNightmare, Lord Inquisitor B Joseph H, naturaetsophia, Commander Ray, PFCDontKnow, and Anemone Iris Sidera for following/favoriting!**

 **Syutaku:** _Wow such a thoughtful review! Thank you!_  
 **Anon:** _I hope you like where this is going just like Days of Our Lives!  
_ **FearaNightmare:** _Yay! Thanks for being there for me! You're awesome!  
_ **Superstar Kid:** _Thank you so much! There won't be much changes but some things will be played around with._

 **Please Review!**


	4. Halo

9:27 Kingsway/September 30th

I added more logs to the fire. Working in the bakery was warm even as the cold started to sweep through the city but Thomas' small workshop was as cold as outside. I pulled my cloak tighter and picked up the book that Rael recommended me to read to practice on. Rael has been coming by less and less after a guard took him aside and wondered why he was exploring the city and visiting us.

I didn't realize how quick I would get lonely without him. Rael really was like a breath of fresh air when he was around me. Listening to his stories and being around him distracted me from my situation. Without him I started to think and thinking was bad for me. I let out a breath and I was able to see it. Thomas told me that snow might start floating in. It was going to be an early winter.

Soon it was going to be Firstfall or November with my son turning two years old and my daughter turning one in the next month. I won't be there for either of their birthdays. I missed them so much. I miss my son's dimples when he smiles and the coos of my daughter. The tears welled up in my eyes and I couldn't focus on my book at all.

I missed them. God, I missed them all. I missed my kids, I missed my husband, I missed my life. I didn't want to be here. I wanted to go home. I wiped my tears and curled up in my cot, the warmth of the fireplace hitting my back. Thomas was gone to grab a few herbs. His normal supplier wasn't coming in besides with a few Elfroot since it's the only thing that grows with this cold weather. He was gone. I didn't want to be alone.

"Hey I haven't been in for a while! I had to take some of my old routes to get here so I can evade those damn guards and…why are you curled up on the cot?" Rael came in with his charm and I sat up quickly.

"It's nothing!" I sputtered, wiping my tears. Rael frowned and walked over. He sat on the cot next to me. I pulled on the blankets tighter and he patted me on the head again. Rael didn't say anything and I watched the fire burn while he slowly patted my head. I couldn't stop once my tears started. I whimpered and sniffled while big globs of tears fell from my eyes. I let out short gasps and wiped my nose on my blanket. I knew I would clean it later.

"You shouldn't try to hold things in. People tend to break that way." Rael mumbled softly. I nodded and wiped my tears.

"I miss my family…I want to go home." I whimpered.

"I know." Rael nodded and continued to pat my head as I sobbed into my blanket. "Try not to keep it in too long. I know how that feels…" Rael sighed. I nodded and wiped up as much as I could. Even then, there was a resounding hole that was filled with loneliness and homesickness.

9:27 Harvestmere/October 3rd

"Wow you got really good. You were able to read everything I gave you and then some. I'm proud of you." Rael chuckled and patted my head after reviewing my penmanship. I giggled in happiness. For once my writing was really good. It felt off to write in blocky letters but I was able to do it. My journal is now filled with entries that don't even look my normal handwriting back home. After the praise Rael began to criticize on a few things which I took with glee.

He bought me an inkstone, and ink well, and a quill. Little by little, Rael started to each me how to write with it and it's not as hard as I thought it would be. I had to be quick about it though. The ink would start dripping from the quill and start to smear the parchment. I really liked doing it though especially how amazing my letters would look. The charcoal that I would be writing with would smear so bad if I accidentally passed my hand through it. Once the ink dried it was fine.

"I want you to practice on all these sheets and if I find one ink spill, I'll have you practice your knife rounds again." Rael nodded.

"Yes Master Rael." I laughed.

"Hmph, at least you are becoming educated. Be grateful for that." Thomas said, weighing in his dried herbs.

"Where did you learn all of this? Did your mom teach you too?" I asked while practicing writing straight on the parchment. Rael sat down next to me instead of watching over my shoulder.

"Nope. She taught me all the practical fighting and lock picking but it was my dad that taught me how to read and write. He used to work with a noble since he was good with numbers and handle some of his personal letters. Of course one of the human staff got jealous and got him sacked but he managed to teach me everything he learned. Oh you were too soft with that down stroke. Once I learned how to read I tried to get my hand on anything I could. It's amazing what you can learn once you know what the letters mean." Rael sighed wistfully.

I looked at the pile of books that he gave me that was on top of my drawers. They were very well worn, a few pages were ripped, smudged, and the leather binding was starting to rip. I smiled softly. These books were very precious to him. Rael was a really nice person. He saved my life and was teaching me without anything in return. Even if I was his last reason to stay alive, I wished I could do something for him.

"Thank you Rael. I'm sorry I can't pay you back for everything you're teaching me." I said sincerely with a slightly ashamed face. Rael pinched my cheek.

"Don't go saying that. Besides, it's me who should be thanking you." Rael chuckled softly.

"Hmph. No heavy touching in my shop please." Thomas said gruffly. Rael and I both turned red and laughed.

"Sorry but human women aren't my thing." Rael confessed with a toothy grin.

"Yeah I have to say I don't like lanky men like you." I stuck my tongue out. Rael faux gasped.

"Oh that hurts inside here." Rael said dramatically, holding his chest.

"You are both fools." Thomas sighed and shook his head but he did smile at our antics.

9:27 Harvestmere/October 11th

It was an overcast day and the clouds were grey and full. The chill was biting as I brought my cloak closer around me and put my hood up. Another chill wind passed through the alley but the cloth in my hand was carrying more food. I stopped at the alley right before the docks. A few sailors passed by, busy with their wares and product. I sat on the crates and waited.

I put the food down and rubbed my hands together. When that didn't work, I put them under my armpits where it was warm. I never thought that I needed to bundle up. As much as it got cold where I lived, I never needed anything more than a sweater. Now I'm thinking I need to get a hat or a scarf if I can find it. If not, I'll have to make one for myself.

"I wonder if it's going to snow soon." I mumbled softly.

"It might actually." Rael came in through the alley and gave me a toothy grin. He took off the gloves he had on that had slight frost. I quickly gave him the cloth carrying the food and he gave a pleasurable sigh when he felt the warmth. Rael took off the special hat he wore for his ears and started to eat the soup I made. "The winters in Ferelden are harsh. You're probably not used to it. I hear that Antiva is a very warm place." He slurped with gusto. I gave a small smile and rubbed my hands.

"The summers were tough and hot. When it would rain then we would get the humidity. It was awful though the winters weren't that cold we still needed something but only a simple cloak. If it keeps getting colder, I might need mittens and a scarf." I joked.

"Try to get some yarn if you see some in the marketplace. I know where to get some that costs cheap!" Rael nodded, biting a piece of his bread. I nodded before I noticed little petals of snow started to fall down. I forgot about my cold hands and instead got up to try to catch the flakes.

"It's snowing!" I giggled and jumped in joy. "Wow! I haven't seen snow in years!"

"I haven't seen you really smile until now. It's good. You should smile more." Rael said sincerely. "Though I understand how you feel. There are times even when something you used to enjoy doesn't bring you any happiness anymore." I gave him a worried look and decided to pat him on the head like he does to me. He chuckled. "Sorry, I got depressed there for a second." I took my hand back and he started to put on his gear. "Don't get too excited. This won't stay for too long. It'll all melt by tomorrow. It still needs to get colder still for the snow to stay. Take care of yourself ok?"

"You do too. I'll see if I can buy some balm from Thomas to help with the cold." I offered. Rael looked taken aback.

"Really?" He laughed sheepishly. "Thanks! Well, time to get back to work. I'll catch up with your lessons tomorrow!" He jumped back into the fray. Rael is a hard worker. I can see why he could be a future grey warden. He would be good for it definitely.

After gathering everything that Rael left, I decided to take the scenic route to enjoy the falling snow flakes. I tried to catch a few but the wind would blow them everywhere but it was a nice game to enjoy. Until I was nearly at Thomas' shop when I felt someone knock into me. Then they pushed me against the wall with a knife right at my face.

"Now what's pretty young thing like you walking around all alone?" He slurred his words. He was unshaven and smelled like sewage. "Just hand over your coin and no one gets hurt, ya hear?" He chuckled darkly.

I froze. As much as I hate to say it, I did freeze. I got hit with a chilly wind that seemed to wrack his bones. He got distracted and the wind was able to make me focus. I struck the hand that held the knife with my elbow and hit his throat just like how Rael showed me. He coughed harshly while I ran for my life. The cobblestone was slippery but I was able to get to Thomas' shop. I slammed the door so hard I rattled the vases holding the product.

"Girl! Do not do that! If one of my pots breaks, I'm adding it to your debt!" Thomas shouted. I was shivering from adrenaline, fear, shock, and the chill.

"S-S-Sorry." I stuttered and made my way to my room. I sat down in front of the fireplace and wrapped my blanket around me. I calmed down my thumping heart while focusing on the fire. Once I calmed down, I started to sob. I had to vent my emotions somehow. I didn't have my husband to give me his hugs and I didn't have my kids to hold onto. I took deep breaths and wiped my tears away.

I spent my night practicing my writing with the quill well into the night.

9:27 Harvestmere/October 12th

I'm so glad today was a rest day because I had one of the weirdest dreams ever since I came back. At first I thought I was going to have a nightmare because of what happened yesterday but instead I had a dream of the place with the floating islands. I have come to believe that what I'm dreaming of is the fade. I already tried it too and no I can't command flame or even feel magical. I'm not a mage but I'm digressing.

I woke up on the ground, staring into a vast green sky. The floating islands were everywhere and things seemed to go in and out of focus. I sat up and analyzed my surroundings. It looked like the highway that was outside of the city I used to live in. There were cactus growing everywhere, dry trees, tumble weeds, bushes, dirt, and plenty of sand. It was so nostalgic that I felt I really was home. It didn't feel right though. It felt off. I sat there wondering why even though the landscape was perfect there was something really, really strange.

I realized why it was odd; there was no ambience. It was dead quiet. There were no bugs, no animals, no wind, nothing. It was absolute and utter silence. I got shivers when I realized how creepy and fake it all seemed. I got up from the ground and looked around. I saw no traces of sprits or demons. From what I read, I shouldn't even try to explore the fade since it would constantly change around me. Exploring would also lead me to be susceptible to possession.

I was getting bored though. I tapped on the highway and started to walk. There were mountains in the distance and everything looked the same no matter how far I walked. I didn't even get tired and my sense of time was skewed to the point where I thought I was walking for a few hours. I looked around again when I saw something floating to the right of me. It was far away but I was able to see it clearly, a small ball hovering that looked like a halo.

When my eyes met it, it seemed to shrink away. Almost like a person, it hid behind a cactus. It peeked out to look at me but it saw that I was staring at it so it went back and hid again. It kept doing it before I put up my hand and did a small wave.

"Hi?" I said tentatively. I sighed and shook my head before I started to walk again. It was a big no-no to even try to talk to spirits. I put my hands in my pockets when I noticed that I was wearing my normal clothes that I wore back home. I have to admit that the fade was really good at making things from your imagination. Then the spirit that was following me suddenly flew in front of me.

'Danger.' It said.

"Danger?" I wondered, raising my eyebrow.

'Cannot go further.' It said. I looked over its hypothetical shoulder and I nodded. If this was a helpful spirit then I should heed its advice. Once it gave me a sigh of relief, I woke up. I made sure to light up my candle to write all this down while it was still fresh in my mind. I made one last attempt on commanding the flame and all it did was flicker normally. No mage, so why am I dreaming of the fade?

* * *

 **Beta'd by the lovely FearaNightmare.**

 **Halo makes an appearance! In this rewrite I'm also going to include a few more fade adventures with Halo besides walking around, maybe add in a few spirits and demons and some foreshadowing to...something xD**

 **Shout out to Lynnioa and cv Snowblind for favoriting/following! Thank you Chimera Spyke for your review! Please Review!**


	5. Change in Small Ways

9:27 Harvestmere/October 15th

"Huh? You think you had a dream about the fade?" Rael asked. I nodded. We were out in the marketplace to find some cloth or yarn to make some better clothes for myself. Unfortunately they were all overpriced because of the demand due to the early winter. Rael rubbed his chin and looked uncomfortable. "Are you sure that this was the fade? I'm not sure how it would look though."

"I'm not sure but it seemed so real." I pulled my cloak closer to me. There wasn't even a cloud in the sky and the sun was shining down but it was freezing out. The only grace was the fact there wasn't any wind today, thank God. Rael put a hand on my shoulder.

"You're not…" He looked around us to make sure no one was listening in. "A mage are you?" He whispered. I gave him a deadpanned look.

"Yes I am actually. This is just a ruse out because I would rather be on a run for my life instead of living in a cold ass tower. I have as much magic in my pinky as I am the Queen of Antiva, of course I'm not a mage." I pouted. Rael gave out a sigh of relief.

"Don't scare me about that. Maybe the attack you experienced just spooked you. Don't worry too much about it ok? I'm sure you won't dream about that anymore." Rael looked extremely relieved. He didn't want to think about the topic about the fade or about magic. Mages are looked down upon and most are looked at as monsters. I frowned. I knew that even if I did have another dream about it, I wouldn't tell him. I didn't want him to be suspicious of me.

"I'll try not to worry about it then." I fidgeted with my ring when he wasn't looking when I noticed the guards going around to do their rounds. Well tried to at least. Not many even cared for the security of the city. Most can be bribed with coin or well…either way the guards in the city do more than their worth of trouble too. Still, there are good ones in the bad bunch. Rael noticed them and we both got up and went back to the alleys towards Thomas'. Ever since Rael's rundown with the other guards last month, he would avoid trouble.

"Well today was a bust. No yarn but at least I got the needle." I sighed.

"It happens. You can't expect to get everything you want from the marketplace but…" Rael gave me a mischievous grin when we went through the alleys towards Thomas' shop. He took out what was underneath his cloak and revealed a small ball of yarn. "Sometimes it pays to have a pretty lady for a distraction." Rael winked at me. I opened my mouth slightly before pulling on one of his ears. "Ow!"

"Rael!" I harshly whispered.

"Ow! Stop pulling on them!" He whined before I pulled his face down to face me.

"Never. Ever. Steal. Again. You are much better than that." I gave him my best disappointed look. He looked deflated almost and, like a punished child, pouted and nodded. I let go of his ear and he rubbed it.

"You shouldn't have pulled so hard though. They're sensitive…" Rael mumbled. I took the yarn.

"What was that?" I growled. Rael put his hands in the pockets of his pants.

"Nothing." He huffed.

"Uh huh, that's what I thought. Either way this small ball is not even enough to make a pair of gloves or even a hat." I sighed. Rael and I continued with a tense silence.

"I'm sorry. I just didn't want you to be cold anymore." Rael shuffled outside of Thomas' shop, looking down. I sighed slightly and tapped on his chin for him to look up.

"Thank you but I'd rather use my own money to buy it ok?" I smiled. "You are forgiven." I nodded. Rael smiled sheepishly.

"Thank you. I'll just remember not to do it around you anymore." Rael chuckled before I slapped his back hard. "Ow!"

9:27 Firstfall/November 4th

I have just gone through my first holiday in Denerim. It was awesome! The only part of it that wasn't awesome was the fact that I had a lot of sweets to make for it. It is called Santinalia. It's a mix of a festival and Christmas. They crown the town fool and party. In Antiva it would be a week-long party and then a week of fasting follows after.

Here there was a huge party out in the centers. I had to stay nearly the entire day in the bakery supplying all the sweet cakes for gifts for children and others as well. It was very hectic and I had to put in long, long hours. I would go in before the sun rose and go back very late at night. This lasted for about three days until the festival stopped and the gifts started.

Gretchen let me off since it was a holiday and it was time for her and Dirk to celebrate with their families. I stayed at Thomas' while he made extra salves since people tended to party hard. Hangover cures and things for bloated stomachs were popular to use around this time. While people kept on coming in and out of Thomas' shop, I stayed in my own room.

I was practicing with my quill on spare vellum that Rael gave me while all the festivities happened. I leaned back in my chair. Two months. It's been two months and in a few days my son would be turning two. In my loneliness, I tried to turn on my phone and of course it didn't work. I put it back in my drawer and knocked my head on the table. It was stupid but I longed for a glimpse of my family.

I hated this. I wanted to go home. I've only been able to pay Thomas about 70 silvers between Rael and I. One sov and 30 silvers to go. And then what? Where would I go? I wanted to go home and nothing has even come to mind as to how except going to visit Flemeth. She wouldn't go through with it or answer my questions without a catch though. There was always something to be paid with her.

Now that I think about it, she really is my only hope in this matter. The more I thought about it, the more I gained conviction. Flemeth is Mythal or at least a part of her. If there was someone that could point me on how to get home, it would be her.

I didn't want to rely on her but my choices were very limited. On my next pay, I decided to get a map in order to find the best path. It would be a very hard trek especially when going through the Korcari wilds with the chasind folk and the wildlife of course. I would need to have someone with me that would know how to fight as well. I couldn't be able to do everything with only a small knife and minor self-defense techniques.

Oh God, what the hell did I get myself in to? Oh wait, this isn't my fault anyway! Either way, what, who, or anything that brought me here, nothing would change. The story was going to stay the same regardless with only a few changes. I guess I should at least keep track of the changes so I would know what to expect later on if I'm even here for that long.

9:27 Firstfall/November 10th

The first snow of the year has landed and it's freaking amazing and cold as hell. Not only that today was a very eventful day.

After I got up and sang a silent 'Happy Birthday' for my son, I went off to work and ate a sweet roll in his honor. It was after work that I got out and saw Rael waiting for me by the door to the bakery. He was breathing on his hands and he had the hat for his ears. His bushy red hair was getting longer. He saw me and gave me his toothy grin.

"Hey! I was wondering when you'd come out. It's freezing out here." He chuckled and hugged me tight. "Oh so warm!" He shivered and laughed.

"You smell like rotten fish! Let go!" I squirmed.

"Never!" He faked an evil laugh and we had a good chuckled. He kept on hugging me before he stopped shivering and let me go. "Ah I needed that. Come on, I saw that there was some specials out in the marketplace for some yarn."

"I'm coming." I chuckled. Rael led the way and I followed. We got very hateful stares everywhere we went but I didn't care. Rael was my friend even if he was an elf. The marketplace was not as full since people didn't want to be in the cold for too long. Merchants abound and people were scurrying around, the roads filled with slush instead of snow.

The small marketplace that was in game was nothing compare to the real deal. The whole center was as big as an outdoor swap meet. They had rows of stands just like in the dwarven noble opening but things were a lot louder and all over the place. The really expensive items like jewelry, exotic pets, really fancy armor were all under the tent and that's what we saw in game.

We mostly stayed to the outer booths. There were also roads that were right next to the booths, carriages and horses were all over the place. We found the booth that had the yarn. I was surveying them on cost and comfortability. Rael went off somewhere and gave me his small smirk. I knew he was most likely pick pocketing. I hoped that he wouldn't get caught.

I picked out a few balls that would be enough for what I would need to make. After paying, I strolled around to look at the different booths. Some sold food, cloths, equipment, and various knick knacks here and there. There was even a specialty booth that sold Dalish carvings and other trinkets. I was looking at a few carved hallas when I noticed a small child without a parent wandering around.

The mother in me turned on and I followed the kid at a good distance as I didn't want to seem like I was following him for bad reasons. He seemed inquisitive and his clothes definitely marked him as one of the nobles due to a few bright colors. As I followed him, I got bumped into by a guard. He sneered at me before making his way back through the market. I rubbed my shoulder, feeling a bruise forming before I started to hear screams of panic.

I heard a horse whinny and I saw a carriage headed toward my way in the market. The vendors and customers realized what was happening and were getting out of the way. I was about to as well when I saw the boy I was following right in front of its way.

I didn't hesitate. I dropped the yarn and ran, my legs slipping and sliding everywhere which made it difficult. When they say things like this happened in slow motion, it was true. The little boy looked at the horse with the carriage. I found my footing and grabbed him. I used all my leg strength and jumped. I narrowly avoided the horse that naturally crashed through the stalls. I slid on the cobblestone before hitting a wall. My linen clothes were ripped. My face got scratched and I had scrapes on my arm. I let out a shaky breath, my heart felt like it was about to burst out of my chest. The little boy cried from the scare and I shushed him softly.

"Oren!" I heard a woman cry. My eyes widened as the boy got out of my arms and ran to a red almost orange headed woman with her hair in a bun. He cried and sobbed as she cradled him. I got up, ignoring my scrapes. She looked at me with her tear soaked face. "Thank you, thank you!"

"Oriana! What happened?" A man with bushy dark brown hair, pale skin, and blue eyes came running toward her. Oriana and Oren? That could only mean one thing; that man is Fergus Cousland and Oriana is his wife.

The boy I saved was Oren.

* * *

 **Beta'd by the amazing FearaNightmare!**

 **We finally got to the Cousland family! I will explain why I went this route on the next chapter :3**

 **Shout out to salinagriego, Psychii, and Insanity Sorrow 2 . 0 for following/favoriting! Thank you Chimera Spyke and Syutaku for reviewing! Please Review!**


	6. The Couslands

9:27 Firstfall/November 10th

"She just saved our son Fergus." Oriana breathed out. I was somewhere in between shock and surprise. Fergus Cousland. Son to Bryce Cousland and brother to the DA:O noble origin player character. I rubbed my scrapped hand awkwardly.

"Many thanks stranger, how can we repay you?" Fergus helped Oriana get up with Oren in her arms, finally soothed. His question snapped me out of my reverie.

"Uh no! No, I don't need repayment. I'm just glad he's safe." I said quickly before a few guards came by to ask Fergus questions. I took that as my scene to leave. I limped slightly before gathering the yarn that I dropped. The balls were soaked with mud but a good scrub should do the trick to get them cleaned again. I had a feeling that someone was watching me and looked back. I didn't see anyone and then I was hugged by a very worried Rael.

"Nia! Are you ok!? Andraste, look at all those scrapes! I'm so sorry for leaving you alone! Come on, let's get you to Thomas' and get you a salve." Rael quickly rambled before grabbing onto my arm to help me walk.

"Rael, seriously I can walk by myself." I laughed, shivering from my wet clothing.

"You nearly got squashed and you think you're fine? You're not ok. I know this, it was scary wasn't it?" Rael comforted me. I realized that my shivering wasn't just because I was cold. I was extremely scared. So many things were passing through my mind all at once and yet my body was moving on its own. The second I grabbed Oren, I leaped, praying, hoping that the horse would miss me. If not, I could have gotten a broken leg or worse.

Now that the adrenaline has gone down, I felt like throwing up. Who knew being so heroic was so emotionally damaging? I took deep breaths to try to calm down my fast beating heart. In the end, I started to laugh because I had no other way to cope.

"Oh God, you were right. I nearly died." Again, is what I thought to myself. I cleared my throat and Rael held me tighter until we got to Thomas' shop. He gave me a double take.

"Don't tell me you both got into some trouble. I won't stand for that in my shop." Thomas said gruffly.

"She nearly got tackled by a runaway horse and carriage." Rael snapped. He gingerly sat me down before going and putting some silvers down on Thomas' desk. "An Elfroot salve, please." Rael glared and said tersely. Thomas looked slightly guilty before taking the money and giving him a bottle. Rael nodded before coming and helping me up to my room.

I sat down on my bed while Rael gathered some water to warm over the fire. A few shaky tears came out as I calmed down over all. My body hurt and the events kept on playing in my head. Fergus Cousland. I just met Fergus Cousland. I have never once really questioned the fates of the origins until now. I watched Rael gather some cloth and check the water with his finger.

Canon wise there was only one origin that was destined to be the Hero of Ferelden. Only one can be chosen and then the rest? If Rael doesn't become the warden, he'd be killed in the rebellions before the slave trading comes along. The Cousland family would get decimated by Arl Howe's men. The mage origin would get shipped off to Aeonar. The dwarven noble would be killed in the Deep Roads. The dwarf commoner would starve in Jarvia's prison. The Dalish elf would get killed by the taint. I took a really good long look at Rael as he brought the bucket of the warmed water.

He took my arm and started to slowly clean my scraps. He handled me gently. I felt his calloused hands run down my skin, checking everything with a sharp eye. I didn't want him to die. Rael was my first real friend but meeting Fergus Cousland only reminded me of what was going to pass. Rael took the bottle of the salve and started to rub it on my skin.

"They should heal quickly. By this time tomorrow, you won't even have anything to remind you of today." Rael smiled and noticed my somber expression. He gave me a toothy grin and patted me on the head. "Don't worry. Things will go back to normal tomorrow! Ah! Your balls of yarn are messy. Hm, I guess I could clean them for you." Rael mumbled, getting up and holding them. My leg still hurt but I got up and gave him a quick hug. He got tense for a second. He smelled salty like the ocean and musky. "H-Hey!"

"Rael…don't die ok?" I held him tighter. One of his arms settled around my shoulders and the other patted my head before he returned the hugged and put his head on top of mine.

"This really got you spooked huh? I promise I'm not going to die. I'm made of tougher stuff than that. Besides…I don't think living is that hard anymore." Rael chuckled and his body vibrated. I felt myself smiling and feeling more at ease. "Anyway, you still need to finish up on your legs. I'll go wash your yarn for you." Rael let go and went out. I washed the rest of my scrapes and put the Elfroot salve on them. They seemed to tingle and get warm. It wasn't an unpleasant experience and they smelled good too. Now if only the potions were better tasting.

9:27 Firstfall/November 13th

For the past few days, I had a feeling that I was being watched. No joke. It could be that I was being paranoid after what happened in the marketplace a few days ago but I could have sworn that there was something out there watching me.

After my life saving day, I went back to work the next day. My whole body felt like a bruise and I didn't feel up to working but I did. I went to work, went back to Thomas, took a bath to ease my muscles, and practiced with my quill again. Rael was right. My scrapes were all gone by the next day.

After that day was when I started to feel like someone was watching me. Out of the corner of my eyes, I would spot something and look back only to find that no one was there. In the bakery I was fine but when I went out I got that sensation again. I tried not to pay any attention to it until around the second day. Rael told me not to worry that it could have been just my nerves playing with me since the market place day.

Then I noticed footprints in the snow on my way home. Someone has been watching me but I don't know who or why. I haven't done anything wrong and, if it was a guard, they would have come up to me instead of sneaking around. I have caught someone's interest and my mind is going wild as to who. Here's to sleepless nights, ugh.

9:27 Firstfall/November 14th

After work, I came out of the bakery and let out a breath from the rush of the chill. It snowed last night and it was piled high. I took a few steps back toward Thomas' until I felt that eerie sensation of being watched again. I was getting tired of this.

I took a tight turn which would have led to the street right behind the person. I did quiet footfalls before reaching the street. The person who was following me looked around in confusion. I had a hand where the hidden knife was. Instead of attacking, I stood up straight and crossed my arms.

"Ok I've had enough of this. You've been following me for four days now, what is your deal!?" I snapped. The person turned around. They had a mask up with a hood over their face. My stomach sunk as I felt that I was in over my head. They pulled down their face mask.

"You have done well. My employer wishes to speak to you." They said.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on." I asked with mixed bravado. The person smiled.

"This is something you can't refuse. Follow me if you are curious." They put up their mask again and started walking toward the marketplace. I had two choices; go or not go. Whether it was fate or curiosity, I decided to follow. We went into the marketplace but the person walked even further, closer to the estates owned by the nobles. I started to feel a little silly with my rough clothes and my cloak while the nobles where going around with their very nice fur clothing. I pulled my cloak more as I felt embarrassed before we stopped at a very big estate.

The person nodded towards me as we passed the front gates and into a side passage. There were a few elves working, going to and fro into the rooms. I felt like an outsider but the person weaved through the rooms. Then we entered what looked like to be the main hall and my heart nearly stopped. Oren and Fergus were at the table. At the head was who I assumed to be was Bryce with Eleanor next to him. The person took off their hood and face mask completely. It was Oriana. She gave me a sly smile while I tried not to gape like an idiot.

"Ma!" Oren ran toward her and she carried him, settling right next to Fergus and kissing him quickly on the lips before Bryce cleared his throat. I naturally stood at attention with my hands clasp right in front of me.

"I have heard many things about you Ms. Nia. I have you to thank for my grandson being alive today." Bryce said sincerely. My nerves were getting the better of me but I had to stand firm.

"I saw a child in danger and my first reaction was to save him." I looked down, trying to make myself look smaller.

"And it's that reaction that benefited my family. Oriana began looking as to who you are." Bryce's voice boomed in the main hall. I could see a few servants being slightly curious as to who I was. I gulped.

"I am in need of someone to take of my duties and one of those is my son Oren. I have never seen someone that would put their own life at risk for him which is exactly what I need. You are a very hard worker from what the bakery I visited told me. You also take care of others such as that elf boy that frequently visits you. It is these qualities I am looking for in a handmaiden. The fact that you were able to intercept me was also something I was looking for. After all, a son of a noble can be seen an easy target to those wanting to harm my family." Oriana explained all of this. It was almost too good to be true. They wanted to employ me?

"I…I am indebted to the man who is housing me right now." I mentioned.

"Your debt will be cleared away as long as you accept the position." Bryce boomed. Fergus had a playful smirk on his face while Oren was enjoying his mother's attention. Eleanor was seated and enjoying this from what I can tell.

"I am honored and would gladly accept your employ." I bowed low.

"Good. We will be staying in the capital for the next week before we move to Highever Castle. I expect you would have gathered all your things. The debt will be taken care of in the coming days." Oriana explained. I nodded while trying not to lose my head.

"Lana, may you see her out please?" Bryce asked. An elf came by and led me out of the estate and, before I knew it, I was out in the cold again. I couldn't really believe what was happening. I couldn't remember the walk back to Thomas' but, as soon as I was in my room, I hit my head on the desk. It hurt. It hurt. This wasn't a dream. In a week I would be leaving Denerim to Highever and be employed by the Couslands. Dear God, what have I gotten myself into?

* * *

 **Yay! Beta'd by FearaNightmare, the most awesomest beta!**

 **So as you can see a few changes on how she got employed. After all, it has to be someone good at protecting. Oriana is Antivan which means she's used to having assassins around and Nia, with her quick thinking and the ability to spot her, she thought it was a good choice. :3**

 **Shout out to HellaRose, kilgaxe, HollySutterlin and Blooddoll1 for favoriting/following! Thank you Chimera Spyke, Syutaku, and Anon for reviewing! Please Review!**


	7. Highever Castle

9:27 Firstfall/November 15th

Rael had his mouth wide open for almost a good minute. I kept on writing on the parchment to try to ignore his gaping mouth that moved with no sound coming out of it. He slammed both hands on the table, spilling the ink on the page. I let out a panicked gasp when the ink nearly reached my journal. I was able to get up and save it before Rael put his hands on my shoulders.

"What do you mean you're going to Highever in one week!?" Rael gasped. His brows were furrowed and his fingers were digging into my shoulders. I clutched my journal.

"Like I said before, they employed me as a handmaiden and I'll be going with them in a week." I repeated. Rael bit his lip before pacing in front of the fireplace.

"I was able to see that boy for a second and knew he was a noble's son but the Couslands!? They're second to the King! I…this is just going too fast! Why do you need to go and leave?" Rael kicked the stone wall. I sighed before putting the journal on top of my bed. I poked his arm. He looked at me and pouted. "It's not fair…you're the only real friend I have…"

"It's the same for me but they said that they'll pay off Thomas. Not only that, this is a really good opportunity to get money to go back home. You know how much I miss it." I lied. Rael looked down, his locks of red hair nearly shielding his eyes.

"I know but…" Rael shuffled on his feet.

"Besides, you know this isn't goodbye. You can still send me letters and everything. You just won't be able to see me every day." I lightly chuckled. Rael sighed and hugged me. I patted his back.

"You're different from the rest of the humans. You actually listen, you actually care. The only bright light and it's already being taken away from me." Rael whispered next to my ear.

"Rael…" I sighed. He hugged me tighter.

"Sorry…I know I'm being selfish…" He pulled me away and cupped my face. "Promise me you'll write ok? Every week without fail or I will throw myself in the ocean!" I gave him a deadpanned look and pinched his cheeks. "Ow!"

"There will be times when I might not be able to write but I'll write when I can ok?" I patted his head and he pouted.

"Fine…I'll accept that for now." Rael huffed. "Come on, let me help you clean this before Thomas drugs us both." Rael took a cloth and cleaned up the ink spill. I shook my head but my heart flopped to the ground.

I wondered late at night after Rael left whether these were just coincidences or maybe fate at play. I don't believe in fate or destiny. I believe that things happen for a reason though. Why I'm here and why I'm about to be in Highever where the Couslands are. Does this mean that I should save them? Stop Howe's attack and make sure they survive? I doubt it. Bryce wouldn't listen to anyone concerning Howe even when all the signs were in front of him. Even if I did managed to get his trust, he still wouldn't listen to me but there was one person I could save; the youngest Cousland. I can save he or she if Duncan isn't there in time.

Are they meant for greatness? Should I even consider it? Technically only Duncan can conscript them to become Grey Wardens and even if the youngest Cousland dies, Fergus will always survive but what if that changes? All these questions and scenarios poured into my head as to what could change now that I'm here. I could always just hide myself away but that wouldn't get me any closer to my family.

I had to get to Flemeth but not the way I am now. So I planned on it as the fire in the fireplace was dying. The only way to get to Flemeth safely was to join the Hero of Ferelden. I didn't know how to fight but I have about 2 years to learn to at least something. It was a long shot and I wasn't even sure if I could complete it but I had my goal: Find Flemeth and get back home. I only hoped that this could work.

9:27 Firstfall/November 21st

The week finally passed by. It passed quickly as well. Oriana paid the debt I had accrued with Thomas and he accepted it. I got Rael's address and had it in my journal so I wouldn't forget it. Once I knew where I would be staying in Highever, I would send him a letter with my address. I managed to put everything I owned in a small wooden luggage crate. All I had were clothes and the very few belongings of my own world.

Gretchen was sad to see me go. I was a really good worker but understood that I needed more than 3 silvers to get to my home. Thomas said that he would miss the company but didn't really care that much. Instead he was happy he was getting back his room for the space. Rael was taking it hard. Even when I visited him at the docks, his smiles were getting smaller and smaller.

By the time Oriana came by with the carriage to lead me out, Rael was full blown frowning. He was the only one to see me out. There were only two for now to send us out with the servants they brought from Highever. I was to go with them. The driver took my luggage and hoisted it up, using rope to tie down all of them. Rael frowned deepened as he saw the servants settling in.

I pulled my cloak around me. I didn't know when I would be in Denerim again. Rael sighed, his breath showing. He shuffled on his feet before his eyes rested on me.

"It's not going to be the same but you did promise you'll write so there's that." Rael took a deep breath and let it out. I nodded before reaching in my cloak and pulling out the hat I knitted.

"It's not much but I never got you a gift for Santinalia. Here. I was going to make one for myself but the one you have for work is so filthy. Put it on to see if it will fit." I held it out. Rael took it and put it on. It was simple with no form but I chose comfort instead. His face got red.

"It fits perfect." He mumbled. He cleared his throat and I noticed that he had unshed tears.

"We need to get moving!" The driver called out. I looked at Rael and he brought me in for another hug. He held me tightly and I heard the sniffles. I felt bad but there was nothing I could do.

"I'll write to you as soon as I get there." I patted his back and rubbed my face. I smelled him deeply. It was a mixture of salt and musk that permeated my being and settled inside of me. My first friend. Rael let go and wiped his eyes. I gave him a small smile and cupped his face. I brought him down and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "Don't get into too much trouble." I lightly slapped him. He nodded and bit his lip. I went into the carriage. I felt the rumble of it moving and saw out the small window. Rael was wiping his eyes furiously.

He found a reason to live which was me. Even if I was away, I knew that he would continue to live. I wouldn't forgive him if he died. The servants eyed me curiously. Human and elf though the elves more than the human. I only got comfortable in my corner while we continued to ride toward Highever. It would be a three day ride and we'll be stopping at a few inns on the way.

I watched as we passed through the crowded streets of Denerim until we reached the main gate. It was high with huge wooden doors. There was a courtyard separating the main gate and the main city. As we passed the towering gates, I thought about everything that I had learned in Denerim and was immensely grateful for Rael. I made a mental note to start giving him some money to help out his family as soon as possible.

The cobblestone road changed into the dirt road. The trees were sparse near Denerim but it quickly became forest. I watched the scenery before I started to hear the whispers of the servants. I made myself ignore them. I didn't want to start any drama until…

"Were you two lovers?" A male elf asked in front of me. I stared at him until I chuckled slightly.

"No he was only a really good friend." I replied.

"Hmph, it's best if you didn't flirt with her Thellan. You know you can't have elf babies with a shem." Another female elf said from the other corner. Thellan got red.

"T-That wasn't the reason why I asked!" He sputtered. I gave a small smile.

"Uh huh, I know all about you trying to get into the new hire's parts." She stuck her tongue out.

"Be quiet Awell!" Thellan shouted.

"You both be quiet!" Another human servant shouted.

"Make us!" Awell flared. I chuckled. This was going to be an interesting trip.

9:27 Firstfall/November 24th

The trip back was enjoyable to say the least. Thellan and Awell were the elves that worked under Nan. The others, Jacob and Emilia worked as helpers as a whole. Thellan and Awell were cross with them but when around the actual Cousland family, they became meek. It was an interesting switch. During the three day trip, Oriana gave me a run down as to what my job entailed. I would have to respond to her letters, plan her trips and soirees, take care of Oren, and help her with her clothing and everything in between.

I was becoming more grateful to Rael to teaching me how to read and write. My penmanship wasn't perfect but it wasn't horrid at least. Thellan and Awell kept on talking to me and inquiring about Rael. They didn't really seem to accept my explanation that Rael was only a friend. Thellan told me that the feelings in his eyes didn't say that. I ignored most of their gossip. Rael treated me as a precious object because I was his reason to not die. Of course I would be important to him.

He was important to me as well. He was my first friend. Rael helped me adjust to this change gradually and never made me step out of my boundaries. He taught me when he didn't need to and he saved my life when he could have left me in the gutter. Rael didn't though. He was always there for me.

When we arrived at Highever Castle, it took my breath away. It was huge and towering. It held a distance from the city proper but it was beautiful. The cobblestone almost looked like polished marble, white and sparkling. There were gardens out before the main gates were long and well-tended to. We went inside and toward the stables. They were huge with various horses. They looked powerful and big. This is where we stopped. I got my luggage that the driver put down.

There were various guards and servants going around with their daily business. The pots with plants were being tended to. Nearly every passage way had a guard there defending it. Oriana nodded to me and I followed her. The castle was huge from the inside and we weren't even inside the main rooms. Guards nodded politely to Oriana as she led me away.

"We have servant quarters to where you will be situated at. The room will be personal to you and you will have keys for it as well as I. You are to get up in the morning and join me after you had your breakfast. From then on, I will train you on your duties." Oriana pulled out a key and opened a door. It was a modest room, slightly bigger than the nook I had in Thomas and I had a real bed this time! Oriana gave me the key before going toward the drawers. She gave me a dark beige apron, a maroon shirt, and a darker skirt. "This will be your uniform to differentiate you from the rest of the servants. I have great hopes that you will do your job diligently. Do not let me down." Oriana gave me that sly smile again. I got a shiver of fear before she left the room.

I sat on the bed and took a deep breath. I shivered with excitement and a hint of fear. I am here in the Cousland castle…I made it here! I made it! I wanted to jump up and down but I refrained from doing so. I put what little belongings I had in my drawers and sat on my bed again.

Then the change finally sunk in. My hitched breath came and I stubbornly tried not to shed any tears. It didn't work. In the end, I locked my door and cried into the soft pillow. My homesickness rose to an all-time high. I missed Rael. He was my comfort, my home away from home and now I lost that too.

Was this a mistake? Should I even have come here? The doubt was crawling from the back of my head to the forefront of my thoughts. I clutched my pillow and laid in a heap on my bed. I wiped away my tears and took a few calming breaths. I had to remember that this was the only way, the only safe way to get to Flemeth. I couldn't risk going out there alone with bandits, wildlife, demons, and who knows what else. Going with the Hero of Ferelden was my only hope. I was almost there too. It was nearly the next year. All I had to wait was two more years.

I prayed to God with all my heart that I would be able to last that long.

* * *

 **Beta'd by the amazing FearaNightmare!**

 **And we have finally arrived in the Cousland Castle. Things won't start to pick for much longer so those that are like 'Just get to the main story!' will have to wait. The reason why is that I want to explore Eren's character and Nia's eventually training. Hopefully you'll like it too!**

 **Shout out to Blooddoll1 for favoriting! Thank you Chimera Spyke for your review! Please Review!**


	8. Learning the Job

9:27 Haring/December 1st

Out of all the commotion of being moved and my crushing homesickness, I nearly forgot my own birthday. As agreed, I was able to send my first letter to Rael along with some money. I hid it in a pair of gloves. Learning the job was the easy part. It was juggling everything that Oriana had to do was the hard part. I was a glorified secretary that had to dress Oriana and be a babysitter at the same time.

I fumbled with her dresses and what to choose but Oriana was surprisingly patient throughout all this. Oren seemed to like me and I got to take care of him a few nights while Fergus and Oriana went off to be romantic. Bryce was always busy going back to the capital and Eleanor was off visiting friends in Amaranthine when we got back. The castle was always busy and the courtyard was huge. The main castle was enormous with so many doors and hallways it made me dizzy.

It was amazing though. That little bit that you were able to explore in game was nothing to what I saw, what I experienced. Many of the servants made sure to show me where I was going when I got lost a few times, there were wells to draw from for my bath as well, and I even got to meet Nan. One day Oriana was going to have a long talk with a few representatives from Antiva and sent me away with Oren.

I explored the castle with Oren, following him and making sure he didn't fall or trip. He giggled and went into a corner. He peeked out and when he saw me, he giggled again. I shook my head and chuckled. Oren reminded me so much of my son.

"Hm, I wonder where Oren has gone?" I giggled. Oren giggled as I quickly turned on the corner. He squealed and started to run. I made my pace slower so I didn't catch him. Either way my skirt wasn't making things easy. I laughed as he tried to find places to hide but I found him every time. The guards that we passed laughed at our antics. Oren quickly ran around another corner and I jogged to keep up, not looking where I was going. I bumped into someone with armor and landed unceremoniously on my butt.

I gave out a wince of pain before realized what I did. I scrambled on my feet, dusting off my apron. I bowed very low, my face becoming red with embarrassment.

"I am so sorry! I didn't mean to bump into you!" I looked up. His face looked just like Fergus' but with cold and calculating blue eyes and black hair. Oren was in his arms giggling and avoiding my gaze. The man immediately scowled.

"And who are you?" He asked, hugging Oren protectively.

"My name is Nia. I am Oriana's handmaiden." I said. I straightened my posture. Something about him irked me slightly. It didn't matter much since my head only reached his chest.

"A handmaiden? She managed to pick one with her pickiness? Well at least it happened." He scoffed. Oren struggled on his grip, reaching for me. I reached out for him but he kept him away from me. "Mind your manners and make sure not to do that to me again. It would be best to learn your place."

Instantly, my dislike came. I frowned but still held out my hands. Oren cried out but he was not letting go one bit. Then there was a sneer on his face. Now I realized why I disliked him. He had that personality to expect that I would grovel at his feet.

"Do you even know who I am?" He asked.

"No sir." I said politely.

"My name is Eren Cousland. It would be best for your sake to remember it. Do not let this happen again." He warned. He gave me Oren who I put down immediately. Then Eren pushed me again, not too gently, even after he told me not to do it. My immediate impression of him? He's a gigantic prick.

In the end, I forgot about him and decided to only play with Oren. But meeting Eren finally completed the Cousland family. I didn't think he would so jerkish. You would think that a future Grey Warden would be a better person. Even so, there are a lot of decisions in game that are borderline psychopathic. Having a future Grey Warden that wasn't a people person was a possibility.

9:27 Haring/December 4th

Most of the time I'm there with Oriana, scribbling away the letters she wanted me to write, organizing a few plans, and tending to Oren. After they found out that I was really good at pastries, I am in between being under Nan and Oriana. If only to show off for Eleanor at how great her cakes looked. That's where I found Thellan and Awell again. They were completely different under Nan. Those crass and confident attitudes they had on the way back from Denerim were completely shut down when she was around. I understood why.

She was a madwoman when it came to the larder and any food. She was strict with everything that passed through and very critical with errors. I had a few bosses like her and they weren't enjoyable to work under. Considering I was employed by Oriana and not Nan, I had some cushion to talk back to her.

"If you want to bake a good meringue, it needs to be on a flat surface, around 90C, and for an hour and 45 minutes!" I argued with Nan. The meringue she cooked was yellow and on its way to being burnt by the time she took it out.

"The color means the egg has been fully cooked and no one will get sick from the runs!" Nan hit her fist on the table.

"You're burning it! A good meringue should sound like chalk when you take it out and be a nice white color!" I crossed my arms.

"It's not cooked!"

"That's why you take a piece, break it, and check it!" I huffed. I pinched my nose bridge while Awell and Thellan cowered away in a corner, still cooking a few things for a few of Bryce's guests. "Either way, we can't do anything about it now. Making a new batch from scratch would take some time. Let's just decorate the small frilly cakes and get this over with."

It was a lemon tart with a small slice of it and a meringue stick on top as a decoration. The stuff they do to make these cakes look nice was sickening. I get that mashing gold on top of something is nice, but silver is toxic. In the end, Nan and I were able to finish the tarts and send them out. It was getting late at night by the time I got out of the kitchens. I was exhausted, sweaty, and dying for a bath. I was about to go back to my room before I saw the light from the libraries.

I haven't been able to really explore the castle. It was huge and that wasn't even getting into the interior. I nodded toward the guard and went inside. Bookshelves upon bookshelves lined the library with a roaring fireplace in the middle of it all. There were two study rooms adjacent to each other. I saw an old man sitting at a desk, reading something. He looked up and nodded toward me. I recognized him as Aldous.

"Ah I have seen you around. You are the handmaiden to Oriana, correct?" Aldous asked as I sat down on the table.

"Yes. She hired me back in Denerim." I nodded.

"Good. We needed capable hands to protect the young lord." Aldous nodded.

"Capable?" I wondered.

"Many know of the circumstances surrounding your employ. How you risked your life to save Oren's life without hesitation. It was a grand choice indeed." Aldous explained. I felt my face heating up.

"Thank you." I said sincerely.

"Now that you are close with the young lord, I was wondering if you would also like to forward some of my teachings to him." Aldous closed his book. There was giddiness in his eyes. I felt apprehension but nodded politely. He got out of his chair before going and getting a stack of books. "These are only a summary of the entire Cousland family from before the country was founded. If you could start reading these to him during your time, I would be very appreciative." I stared at the stack. This was only a summary? I sighed but nodded.

"Of course, I will try though Oren might not listen to me. He still is young." I laughed.

"Nonsense! There is no age where learning is not essential!" Aldous announced proudly. I got to give it to him, he really does love his job.

9:27 Haring/December 10th

"Wow so these are all the lands you still own in Antiva?" I gasped, looking at all the names on the list that Oriana gave me. We were currently in a resting area with a fireplace roaring next to us. It had snowed earlier and Oriana requested that I help her organize a few of her business ventures. She was with her tea and the cookies that I had cooked earlier in the day.

"Of course. It's these lands that create the fine quality silk that are essential to Antiva. There are a few mines as well that create jewelry and supply iron to the capital itself." Oriana sipped her tea proudly. I gulped. Oriana was not someone to mess around with. "But handling this business is a difficult task especially from Highever. I had to release a few lands to my younger siblings but recently I heard that they haven't been doing a good job." Oriana sighed. "It seems my younger sister crossed a crow and has a hit on her life." I gaped.

"Are you going to do anything?" I wondered. Oriana laughed.

"There is no need. I have a few contacts that have already encountered my sister and has moved her to a safe haven. I am already negotiating what I need to pay to pay for the hit." Oriana chuckled. I put it on my mental note not to cross this woman. "Even though from the accounts I acquired from Denerim, you are not from Antiva, are you?" Oriana asked with a glint in her eye. I gulped discreetly and avoided her gaze. "You must be careful. Information is a very lucrative business, especially for us." I fidgeted with my ring on my finger.

"Does this mean you're going to fire me?" I mumbled. Oriana giggled.

"Of course not! Don't be silly! It's actually in my favor. Because of your mysterious background, it would be difficult for my enemies to use anything against me. In case someone does happen, I had this made for you. Remember it and it might help you in the future." Oriana gave me a small set of papers. In it was the life of Nia, from when she was born, to the names of parents, and even siblings. They were in one of Oriana's lands so she can vouch where I was from. I looked at her with surprise, she really did this all for me.

Well not all for me. It was something to use in case something happens in the future. Like she said, a person with no history is extremely suspicious. The fact she made history for me really touched me. She even included a family of my own. I noticed that all the people she listed were deceased however.

"Um why did you list everyone as deceased?" I asked. She took a bite of her cookie and sipped slowly.

"Someone with a tragic past is less inclined to talk about it and those who ask even more so. A widow is more tragic than someone with a family. With this, people will ask much or not at all. You have lost many that are precious to you regardless. Your slouched behavior, your sullen look when you are alone, and the red in your eyes in the mornings all tell me this. You play with your ring and then you sigh. You touch your belly and rub it while looking down. You have lost a husband and children, haven't you? You lost your home." Oriana said confidently. It scared me how she was able to figure out so much in a short time of knowing me but she needed to be that way in her business. I never realized how much I gave away with my mannerisms and body posture.

I still feel the hurt. I still remember my son, my daughter, my husband. I feel the pang of homesickness and loneliness whenever something reminds me of them. It's all fresh, a wound that would not heal. I'm not sure that it would heal to be honest.

"Yes…I did." I confessed. Oriana gave me a comforting pat on my shoulder.

"Well, it seems that my schedule won't be completed due to the snowfall. I would like you to review the profits from each lands and note the ones that decreased. You may retreat to your own room for now. I also need you to watch Oren on Thursday this week. Fergus has something planned for me, a secret." Oriana winked at me. I was grateful for the break. I took the notes and excused myself. I went out of the room and went down through the hallways to my own room.

The snow lightly fell all around the castle. It was odd that a home so big can be so quiet. It was that quiet chill that sent lonely shivers up my spine. It was almost like I was the only one existing. The snow crunched beneath my boots as I made it to my room. I cleaned out the fireplace and put in more logs. I sat at my desk and started to review what Oriana gave me.

I wiped at a few stray tears as I reread the thing that Oriana gave me. It was something that was important to me but at the same time heart wrenching. I was grateful to be here but all I wanted was to go home.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare!**

 **Sorry that I had to miss the last update. Real life got in the way and writer's block but I got passed it! And at long last I filled in my greatest plot hole! yes!**

 **Shout out to Alastair279, Kasanra, The Odd Page, and aprilwilliams2191 for favoriting/following! Thank you Chimera Spyke, Superstar Kid, and Syutaku for reviewing! I'm glad you guys are liking the changes! Please review!**


	9. Fist on Face

9:27 Haring/December 14th

It was the night that Oriana and Fergus decided to go out. I can see why Fergus loves her so much. They are a true pair. Oren was playing with his wooden blocks in the library with me. I recited the books while he was near and Aldous was tutoring a few squires that were picked out for the knights. It was a very quiet night and I relished it.

"I am telling you the early winter has made the people irritable. We must increase the guard rotations." Eren told a familiar red headed knight. Gilmore was right behind him as they strolled into the library. Oren came up to Eren and hugged his leg. Eren lightly patted his head and moved away.

"We only have so much men milord. If we add more shifts, they'll be sleeping where they are standing." Gilmore retorted.

"Yes but when we have several thieving incidents because of a food shortage then it is only a matter of time before they will escalate. Ser Gilmore, go to the guard and tell them to add rotations. I will try to convince my father to raise the food rations for the people." Eren grabbed a book from a shelf and started to leaf through it.

"Milord if you do that, then there will not be enough food for the people in the castle! Surely there could be another way." Gilmore argued. It was fascinating watching them talk about something serious. Eren looked like a leader.

"There isn't much we can do Gilmore. The harbor has ice floating in its water. It would be too risky to send out more ships for fishing and the men can die of frostbite. The most we can do now is give out the food rations and see if we can persuade a few ranchers to kill off their livestock to salt it and sell it." Eren took a few more books, patted Oren's head, and headed out again. Aldous sighed, letting the squires go for the day.

"Are things really as bad as they seem?" I wondered.

"The early winter means that the harvest was cut short and many of the vegetables died off before being picked. That means less grain, less bread, less food. The food rations can only last for so long." Aldous explained while sitting on my table.

"But why was Eren talking about the guard?" I asked.

"He is the Captain of the Guard." Aldous nodded. My eyebrows shot up. "Eren is the second born which means that he will not inherit the title as that will belong to Fergus but that does not mean he cannot go without learning about the kingdom. Out of all the things that he grew up with, he showed tenacity for protecting and serving. For that, his father wanted him to take over the guard but my lord instead opted to work hard for that position. He earned it himself. Unfortunately…" Aldous groaned. My eyebrows furrowed.

"Unfortunately…?" I wondered.

"It only during hard times such as these that his hard work personality has shown but recently he has…slacked off. He would abuse his position if only for the women. There have been various instances where he would disguise himself and drink. Eren has become problematic but the fact is he does enjoy his position and thinks about the citizens. There comes a time when he must realize that he cannot be selfish but that is not that time yet." Aldous explained. "Oh I am sorry. It seems this old fool does not seem to realize that he is ranting to a young woman." He chuckled.

"No, it's ok. I don't mind listening. I actually want to learn more about the Cousland family." I said. Aldous lit up and I felt that sinking stomach feeling. Oren came by and sat on my lap, playing with his toys.

"Well since you are so interested in learning…the Couslands have been around for many, many generations. Truthfully this lands was first owned by the Howes but when their head of household was murdered by his wife, the lands fell into the Couslands around the Towers age…" Aldous started.

I smiled politely and heard it all. It was interesting but Aldous really needs to work on his delivery. Oren fell asleep at the first ten minutes. My butt fell asleep as I sat for hours.

9:27 Haring/December 20th

Eren has been gone for almost a week at Denerim. From what I heard from the other servants, he was trying to gain more guards around Highever to help the place. I kept up my duties and Oriana gave me an early day off. I spent it in the library, reading all the history that they had there. Most of it was, of course, about Ferelden and how the country got started. There were a few Antivan history books and well as, ahem, romance novels.

I tended to keep away from those…most of the time. I have to say the cheesy romance novels are kinda fun. I had a close seat to the roaring fireplace. Aldous was placing away a few books away and there were a few guards spending some of their break time here. I leaned back and did a few back stretches and Aldous came to put down the key.

"It's time for this old man's bed time." Aldous chuckled. "I trust you'll put away your books once you're done?"

"Yes Aldous." I nodded. He gave me a small bow before leaving. After putting more logs in the fire, I put down the book, stretched my arms across the table, and moaned slightly. The warmth was penetrating my bones and it felt so good. I nearly fell asleep before I heard the thumps of heavy boots on the floor. I looked up. It was Eren. He gave me a glare. I looked away before gathering my books to put them away. I didn't want to stay anywhere near him. As I neared the bookshelves, I noticed that Eren follow me and crossed his arms.

Alarm bells suddenly rang in my head when I thought about the situation. We were completely alone in the library. He was in armor and I was in my usual maid clothes. I felt that strong urge of panic and fear in my stomach but I put on a brave front.

"Is there something I can help you with?" I asked politely, keeping a small smile on my face to not look threatening.

"Do you truly understand the severity of your actions?" Eren asked me in a low voice. I furrowed my brows.

"My actions?" I wondered. Eren stepped closer and I was trying to look at exits within my peripheral vision. Unfortunately he literally backed me into a corner.

"I do not believe in something that is too good to be true." Eren casually tapped on the bookshelves while glaring at me. "You gained the trust of my family by saving a boy you didn't know of. Or, perhaps, you did know of his heritage. That is how you came into our castle." Eren stepped closer.

"Is there anything that you're leading to?" I asked. I still had a small knife hidden in my apron just in case. If I did attack him, I'd be put away for life. It was a risk I had to take in case he turned physical.

"You came here to sabotage my family. I know how you Antivan's are. Living alongside those Crows would turn any good woman into their spies." Eren towered over me. I felt the rage bubble in my stomach.

"Are you serious?" I breathed out.

"I track everyone that gets close to my family. Someone like you would do anything to cause my family harm. After all, what would an Antivan and an elf do together than try everything to gain power?" Eren scoffed.

"Did you do something to Rael?" I asked in a low voice, my hands clenching into fists.

"That elf had no information to give me no matter how…persuasive I was." Eren shook his head, giving me an evil smirk. Before I knew it, all I saw was red and my fist landing on Eren's face. He staggered as blood ran down from his nose to his chin. He gave me the best surprised face but I couldn't relish it. I was too angry.

"I only saved him because I saw a child in danger! I would have done it for any other children as well! You think I saved Oren because he was a noble and I wanted to hurt your family!? Tough shit! I only did what any mother would have done at that moment! Rael saved me when I had to run from a sinking ship that was on fire! I would have died without him! So what if he's an elf!? He's more human than any of you, you pompous prick!" I shouted. "How dare you think I only came here on the sole reason to hurt any of you!? You really think I want to be here!? I want to go home to my family instead of being here surrounded by strange people in a strange land! If I had an opportunity to get away, I would have taken it! So don't you dare assume that I'm only here to scrounge for information to people I don't give two shits about!" I panted, small tears threatening to fall. Eren wiped away the blood from his face. I stood straight and tall. I would never allow him to see weakness. Eren gave me one last glare before turning and leaving.

After I heard the library's door closed, I collapsed on the floor and sobbed. I was so angry and worried. What did he do to Rael? Did he hurt him bad? Then I felt slightly betrayed. How could he think that I would come here just for that? That I would hurt them? That I would hurt Oren? That I would use him? I punched the floor a few times until my knuckles bled. After all the rage left, I felt empty. I leaned against the bookshelf, focusing on breathing.

I hated this. I didn't want to be here but I was forced here. I wiped my hands with my apron and wiped my tears. I took some water and doused the fireplace. It became dark and I relished the shadows. Alone I could remember my family and think about them. Alone I could pray for them and everyone else. I took the key from the table and locked up the library. I put the key in a small vase near the door where Aldous would hide it.

I wandered to my room and locked it away. It was mechanical how I would undress and go under my covers. All my emotions were drained and I felt an extreme fatigue. All I wanted was to sleep and hope that I would wake up in the same bed as my husband with the warm smile of my son and daughter.

9:27 Haring/December 21st

Instead of having a nice dreamless sleep, I woke up in the fade. I groaned. I really didn't want to be here right now. I got up and I was dressed in my usual clothes from my home. I was laying on the road right outside my house. There were no cars, no electricity poles, and nothing modern besides the houses.

"Well, this is really creepy. It reminds me of those apocalyptic movies where there's only one survivor." I mumbled. I sat on the road. I didn't want to go anywhere at this point. I noticed a few bright figures though. I rubbed my eyes but they weren't playing tricks on me. They faded in and out, looking like people but not really.

"Strange." I got up and headed toward those lights but the closer I got, the more they disappeared. I wondered if these were the people that were dreaming right now. I've always had a knack for remembering my dreams. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the spirit that resembled a Halo. It was hesitant seeing me and I could tell that it was looking around for a hiding place. I rolled my eyes and walked around my neighborhood.

I sighed, kicking a few stray pebbles. They made no sound. I saw the eerie sky and the floating islands and, in the center, a great island that seemed to grow darker the more I stared at it. The Black City. Was it the throne of God as they thought it was? Or something that was connected to Fen'Harel?

I continued on until my neighborhood started to get slightly weird. There were floating pieces of dirt and trees, a few houses that were built at an angle, and various items that were floating in the air. The fade was a weird place. I sat on a stone fence and sighed. The spirit that was shaped as a halo was near me to make sure I didn't get into trouble.

"I don't get it. What's wrong with being helpful? I swear, is it that hard to find good people in this world that you suspect everyone?" I scoffed and crossed my arms, my heels tapping on the stone wall. "Stupid Eren, at least I gave him a good punch before I'm fired for good." I sighed.

'Help.' I heard a small voice said. I looked around and the spirit that looked like a halo gave me a confused look. It shrugged it shoulders. I looked around before I saw a small spirit that almost looked like a child near me. 'Help others.'

"Yes. I guess you understand right? I like to help others in a reasonable manner at least." I chuckled. The small spirit nodded.

'Compassion.' The spirit bowed.

"My name is Nia." I introduced myself. "I sometimes forget that we have nice spirits like you." I sighed. After I imagined it smiling, I woke up. I wrote down everything and made myself ready for getting fired.

It never happened.

The day went by like all the others days were I helped Oriana with her day, appointments, letters, and business. Though when I helped Oriana at the dinner table, I saw Eren come in with a noticeable bruise on his face. He glared at me before taking his seat. Bryce laughed at him.

"Well, pup, did you offend the wrong lady?" Bryce chuckled.

"Bryce." Eleanor warned.

"I misjudged her. It won't happen again." Eren mumbled, sitting down roughly. Fergus came in shortly after and laughed at him as well. Oriana excused me and I was left eating alone in my own room wondering why Eren didn't tell everyone I punched him. I wasn't sure if it was because I damaged his pride or because of other reasons.

There was one thing for sure: I had to keep a careful eye on Eren. He seemed to be a big playboy with no regards to his family but he really does care for them and his city. He can be scary when he wants to be but I won't let that stop me from doing what I need to do. As big as a prick that he is, I still need to save him.

* * *

 **Woo! I added another fade adventure! As you can see I've played up a few of Eren's straight that I only touched upon but never really focused on. Eren is a natural leader and I felt like I wasn't able to explore that part of him.**

 **Shout out to Kasanra, Buggy300, Dr. Dragon, Monstertrainer, and Simlicity for favoriting/following! Please Review!**


	10. New Assignment

9:27 Haring/December 30th / 9:28 Wintermarch/January 1st

It was the night of the New Year. There was a big feast in the main dining hall for the nobles in the Bannorn that Bryce was hosting. They do this every few years in order to marry off daughters or sons to create alliances. I was helping Nan making petit fours for the party as well as helping with the cooking. It was a ginormous mess in the kitchen with tons of servants helping, preparing, serving, and sending out the food.

By the time we finished with everything, it was early morning of the next day. All the leftover food was being shared with everyone. For once I saw elf and humans mingle without too many snarky remarks or insults. It was nice to be in a community like this.

Earlier in the week, I received a letter from Rael. Eren did find him and hurt him as I thought but Rael told me not to worry about it. He told Eren nothing since there was nothing to tell but he made sure to tell Eren I was a good person. Knowing that Eren hurt Rael didn't make my opinion of him any higher though.

I made myself a plate of food and grabbed a bottle of wine. Nan gave me a good natured nod while people were dancing in the kitchen, singing tales about Andraste. I slipped out from the stuffy room and into the cold night. It was snowing again. I loved the bite of the cold on my hot cheeks. I managed to get to my room without any stops. I prayed at the chance at another year and ate slowly while reading another book.

I started to think at what the New Year was going to hold for me. How was I going to convince anyone to give me any training to fight? The only ones I could think were the guards but I'm not sure if I could ask them. With the New Year comes new hurdles and even more time to wait to go back home. I prayed I'll be able to make it.

9:28 Wintermarch/January 29th

I haven't had time to write. I had been accompanying Oriana everywhere in Ferelden after the New Year's Eve banquet, settling business deals, selling lands, writing all sorts of letters and correspondence to merchants and so on. Oren has gotten a handle on speaking thanks to my help. We finally had time to come back to Highever. Most of the snow has melted and the farmers are talking about an early spring. It would be good for them to get back on track with their harvest.

"It's good that Oriana found a capable woman like yourself Nia." Eleanor said. We were out near the gardens as I helped Oriana with her cross stitching.

"Oh Eleanor." Oriana shook her head.

"I am being serious my dear. It's hard to find good and loyal help like yourself. You take such good care of Oren as well and anyone that my grandson likes must be a good person." Eleanor nodded toward me. I nodded.

"Thank you. Truthfully Oren reminds me of my own son." I admitted, giving Oriana more colorful thread.

"I have heard you lost your family. I am so sorry." Eleanor said sincerely. I felt a stab in my heart but I nodded.

"Now Eleanor, we were talking about traveling to Amaranthine. Let's not mention her family." Oriana said quickly. Eleanor nodded. I did an inward sigh before a guard came by.

"My lady Eleanor, milord Bryce has requested your presence." The guard said.

"Oh what is bothering him now? Excuse me." Eleanor went off with the guard while Oriana quietly did her cross stitching. I absentmindedly played with my ring.

"Nia, may I ask something?" Oriana asked.

"Yes." I nodded.

"Where are you from originally?" Oriana asked. I bit my lip at her inquisitive stare. It wasn't something that anyone could accept, much less believe.

"Somewhere extremely far away, a place you can't reach through normal means. I was forced to come here. It wasn't my decision." I mumbled. Oriana gave me that calculating stare.

"Wherever you came from Nia, I hope you can return home one day. I'm sure they miss you terribly." Oriana said sincerely.

"I know they do." I sighed.

9:28 Guardian/February 12th

My stomach was in knots as Oriana led me to Bryce's study. I have seen him around the castle but I haven't talked with him personally since that day in Denerim. Oriana wasn't in a good mood either. I didn't know what this meeting was about but it involved me to an extent. I was really trying hard not to let my panic get the best of me. We arrived in Bryce's office where Eleanor, Bryce, and Eren were there. Eren was leaning against the wall. Eren scoffed and kicked off the wall.

"Really? Is this who you had in mind? A handmaiden who does not know anything about this city?" Eren sneered.

"Eren watch your language. I have overlooked your actions if only because you have earned your title of Captain of the Guard with your own effort but no more. This last debacle has only furthered the worsening opinion that the other nobles think of you." Bryce started.

"I don't care what the others think of me. My business is my own." Eren huffed.

"Unless it starts to affect us." Eleanor stated. Eren frowned.

"Your troubling behavior became worse as soon as we gave you Gilmore. For that, we will switch Gilmore with Nia. She will be your attendant." Bryce stated. I had to clench my teeth for my jaw not to drop. Eren did that for me instead.

"Are you sodding mad!?" Eren snapped.

"Language!" Eleanor reprimanded.

"I have no need for a nanny much less someone like her!" Eren pointed at me.

"It is either this or you will be grounded." Bryce threatened. When Bryce said it, even I felt afraid. Eren chewed the inside of his cheek and glared at me. I looked away, not wanting to get involved.

"Fine. I agree to this." Eren said calmly. Too calmly for my tastes. There was that look in his eyes, the look of a plan.

"At least you agreed." Eleanor mumbled. "Oriana I apologize for this. Nia will still take care of your letters in the evening."

"Then that means I'll-" Eren started.

"No. You will stay here in the evenings as well. No more nightly outing or late rotations." Bryce crossed his arms. Eren's face grew red with anger.

"Fine." He gruffly stated. Awkward didn't even begin to describe how I felt.

"You are dismissed. I will want reports on Eren's behavior should there be any changes, Nia." Bryce looked at me. I gulped and nodded earnestly. Eren walked from his place and I followed him out. He kept a brisk walk where I nearly had to jog to keep up with him. Then I realized that I was following him to his personal quarters. I braced myself for anything that might happen.

Once we were in his room, Eren started to take off his armor. I looked away politely, my hands folded in front of me. He put it on an armor stand and took out a rag and something in a pot. Eren's face was oddly calm but I wasn't about to let anything faze me either. This was weird for both of us.

"Come and shine my armor. Make sure you leave no blemish or I will give you more to do." Eren sneered. There it was. The scheme was dancing in his eyes. Fine, two can play at that game. Whatever he can dish out, I'll be there to take it. I took the rag and the polish. Eren sat at his bed and took out his sword and shield. The shield looked worn and I wondered why he didn't change it out for something newer. Eren caught me staring before I went back to shining his armor.

His armor was dirty as hell. I had to pull up my sleeves and take a few things down to even get it clean. I saw Eren smirking in my peripheral vision but I ignored him. He left the room but I didn't notice. My feet started to hurt but I was able to get everything to a shine and clean slate. I wiped my brow when I saw Eren stomp towards me with a bucket. I gasped in surprise when he dumped mud all over the armor.

"Clean it again." He sneered. I felt my anger rise in me again.

"You are such a jerk." I snapped. Eren's eyebrow twitched. Then he dumped the bucket on top of my head. I let out a frustrated grunt as I saw him saunter to his door and threw the bucket at his back.

"Ow! You little-" Eren stomped toward me again.

"Yeah go ahead and try to push me around like the rest! I am not going to stand for it!" I snapped.

"Do you have any idea who you are talking to?" Eren said in a low voice.

"Yeah I do, the stupid brat of the Cousland family." I retorted.

"I will not allow such insubordination while you are under my command!" Eren yelled.

"I'm not technically under your command because I'm not your soldier or a guard. I was placed here so I can make sure you stop being stupid. You really think I want to be in this position? You're an adult yet you failed at that so now you need someone to look after you. Hah, now how exactly does that look to you huh?" I crossed my arms. Eren gritted his teeth.

"I will make your life worse than the void." Eren threatened.

"Bring. It. On." I glared back. Eren flicked off the mud from my shoulder.

"I want this mess cleaned by the time I get back, if it isn't you'll need to shine all everything in the armory." Eren walked out and slammed the door. I let out a frustrated growl and kicked the bucket. I wiped off the mud from my hair. I had a feeling this was going to be a long assignment.

9:28 Guardian/February 17th

I hissed in pain as the blisters from all the cleaning that Eren kept on assigning me stung from being broken. I wasn't able to clean the mud fast enough and Eren watched as I did the whole armory. The only thing I couldn't touch was the sword and shield of Cousland. It took me all day and Eren watched, bored, but he wanted to break me. I knew he did but I wasn't going down so easy.

After that, I accompanied him at all of his rotations in the city. There was no riff raff to take care of which I was grateful for but my feet hurt from walking all over the city. Eren issued orders and commands. The men followed his word to the letter but I can tell a few of them wondered why I was hanging around. Punishment is what Eren said.

He made sure that his pace was faster than mine as well as trying to lose me on several occasions. Eren always had a face of disappointment whenever I would find him. The callouses on my feet grew slightly from following him. Then of course I had night duty taking care of Oriana. I haven't even been with Eren for a full week and I was already starting to become exhausted.

"Ow…" Another blister popped open on my hand as I was writing this. Curse Eren.

* * *

 **Woo! Beta'd by FearaNightmare**

 **I finally got to where I wanted to! You know where this is going guys, yep the training from hell! It's coming guys, sorry it took so long to get here lol Wow, already ten chapters.**

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	11. Dangerous Realization

9:28 Guardian/February 30th

I washing clothes until my hands became sore, polishing armors and shoes, and I was running around chasing after Eren for more than two weeks now. I didn't think it would get worse.

It did.

I was flabbergasted as I lost Eren for the second time that day. Thanks to his constant walking, I was able to get a good look at the city so I didn't get lost. Eren was gone though. I scoffed and leaned against a building wall. The alleys here aren't as dangerous as Denerim so there were more people out and about. Carriages passed through on the street and I bit my lip as to where Eren went to this time. I retraced my steps and found a footprint in some mud. I took the hidden street and found what looked to be a warehouse.

My gut was telling me that this was where I was supposed to go. I went to jingle on the doorknob and found that it was open. I went in and recognized the armor on a stand. I looked at it in confusion. Why would Eren take off his armor? Then I heard another door open and Eren came in looking like a commoner. I gaped at him and he looked at me with surprise and then with anger.

"Andraste's flaming sword, how were you able to find me?" Eren rubbed his face.

"I'm just that good, obviously." I shrugged. "Now, put your armor back on. Your rotation ended and we have to get back to the castle." I went over to the armor stand to help put it on. Eren crossed his arms.

"No." Eren stated. I stopped and scowled.

"I think I had something in my ears, did you just say no?" I said sarcastically.

"I had hoped to play this charade for only a few days until I made your skin bled so that you would willingly give up. Apparently that was not the case. I have to admit, your determination is admirable although misguided as well. I am sick of playing this game however and will leave without you." Eren moved toward the door and I blocked him. He scoffed. "Are you serious in stopping me?"

"I was placed in order to watch you. I won't let you do something stupid." I replied. Eren frowned before moving faster than I could blink and punching me in the chest. My breath left me immediately and I keeled over on the floor, hacking and coughing.

"I grow tired of you and your uselessness. At first I thought scaring you away would be easy but you have a stubbornness of a mabari. How unbecoming of you." Eren chuckled. I cleared my throat and thought about the small knife hidden away in my apron. I wiped away the saliva that trickled down my chin as Eren opened the door. I rubbed my chest and got behind him. He looked back. "Impudent we-"

I pulled back my leg and kicked as hardest as I could on his family jewels. Now that he didn't have any armor, he couldn't protect them. He sputtered and keeled over just like me on the ground. He looked up at me with the meanest glare he could muster.

"You are the biggest douche I have ever met." I coughed again and then slapped him as hard as I could. He looked up with the biggest eyes I have ever seen. I nearly laughed when he cupped his cheek. "Stop acting like a brat Eren, it's really unbecoming on you." I sneered as I used his words against him. He gritted his teeth.

"How dare you-"He started and got up with his legs shaking.

"Yeah, yeah how dare I and such and such. This isn't a game to me Eren, not since the first day they put me together with you so, whether you like it or not, I'm not going anywhere. So either you accept that or I will kick you so hard in the balls again, you'll be coughing them up." I crossed my arms. Eren's legs become steadier. He chuckled and then it became a full blown laugh. I frowned.

"Ok I will have to give you some respect for what you have done." He cleared his throat. "Fine. You will accompany me for now. I will warn you though, where we going is not for the faint of heart."

"I've seen shit too so let's go." I huffed. Eren smirked.

"If you were not such a commoner, you might have stolen me for an evening." Eren commented.

"Ew, that's so gross. Ugh, mental image be gone!" I rubbed my head. Eren laughed. I think this was the first time things weren't so tense between us. I should have kicked him in the balls in the first place. We walked out from the warehouse and started to walk around the town. Eren kept on looking at me and he scoffed.

"Can you not be so formal in your stance? You feel like a maid." Eren said.

"Uh duh, I am a maid more or less." I replied. Eren frowned before taking me in a small alley. He took off my apron, took out my shirt that was tucked in, and messed my hair up. The small ting of metal was heard as my knife fell to the floor. "Hey! What was that for!?" I grabbed it in a hurry.

"No, you will not be able to stay where we are going." Eren mumbled, looking around and took a pair of pants off from someone's laundry and tossed them at me. "Wear those."

"What in the hell? Why?" I asked.

"Stop asking questions, are you going to come with me or not?" Eren snapped. I rolled my eyes. It was either this or getting left behind and I had a job to do, more or less.

"Don't look." I mumbled. Eren turned away and I took off my boots and pulled up the pants below my skirt before taking that off. I tightened the pants and held the skirt. "Ok, I'm good." Eren looked back, swiftly took my skirt, and threw it in a puddle of mud. "Hey!"

"You are not going to need that." Eren said. I let out a frustrated growl.

"You are such a jerk." I mumbled.

"And you are annoying. What a pair…" Eren scoffed. I followed Eren until the city became unrecognizable. There were more trouble around here, men that looked ready to fight, and I saw a few women that had less clothing. I stuck closer to Eren.

"Uh Eren? Where are we going?" I whispered.

"To follow a lead." Eren mentioned. I heard a guy snort behind me and I grabbed Eren's arm in fear. He gave me an annoyed look.

"Sorry." I mumbled, letting go of him. Soon the cobblestone faded away to dirt and the houses became shacks. We came to a place that literally threw one of their tenants out for shorting them on gold. Eren cleared his throat.

"We're here. Try not to make me look bad." Eren's accent suddenly changed to a drawl. I nodded and stuck close. We entered and it was a bar that was filed with all sorts of elves, humans, and even qunari. There were minstrels in the background and it was rowdy inside. Eren came up to the bar and slapped some copper down.

"Oi! Two pints o'er here!" Eren shouted. I was surprised at his sudden change.

"Comin'!" And we got two cups. Eren roughly handed me one before downing the one he had. I gulped and looked at him uncertainly. He gave me a glare. I need to drink in this type of environment. I never had much experience before with beer but I took a whiff. It smelled rank but I took a gulp anyway. I started to cough.

"Heh, come on, put some chest on that chest!" Eren slapped me on the back. A few guys gave him a salute. He put his arm around me and brought me close. "We have had disturbances in this bar and there are reports of someone using magic. There should be Templars coming any minute. After I go up to the rooms, follow me discreetly. You think you can manage that?" Eren whispered in my ear. To others it looked like something a man would do to his woman. I nodded and Eren slapped me on my back again. I gave him an annoying glare and he smirk playfully at me. He was a good actor that's for sure.

I sat on the bar stool while Eren got up and started talking to the bartender. He nodded and gave Eren a small key. Eren laughed while going toward the stairs. I took another gulp of the wretched beer, coughing, before giving it to the guy that was eyeing it next to me. I got up and went up the stairs. There were a few people up and more than five rooms. I wondered where Eren would be before I saw the emblem of the Cousland family on the floor next to a door. I swiftly picked it up and eyed the door.

I wasn't sure what to do in this situation. Eren only told me to follow him but I wasn't sure what else to do. I leaned against the wall. This place stunk like high heaven and there were men leering at me as they walked by. I was not comfortable here but I kept my head down and glared at anyone that went past. Something about this wasn't right though.

I heard a loud thump from the room and a grunt of pain. I put my ear on the door and I heard someone chuckling and the familiar ring of a sword hitting the floor. I cursed as I opened the door and I saw a woman in loose clothing, holding onto Eren's sword and he was amidst rubble. She turned to me and I stood stock still, everything going a blank in my mind. What was I supposed to do?

Eren took the momentary distraction and tackled her. They struggled on the ground before she knocked Eren off and froze his legs in place. Eren grunted in pain. I took out my small knife and the lady laughed at me.

"Do you really think you can fight me with that?" She summoned a fire in her palm. I shook uncontrollably and my heart was thumping like crazy in my heart. She walked closer to me, raising her palm. It was an instant reaction and I threw the knife at her and it stuck from her shoulder. She grunted in pain and looked at me with rage.

"Nia!" Eren shouted before I was pushed toward the ground. I felt the room shook as three armored Templars came in and deflected the fireball toward the ceiling. There was a minor fire in the room but I watched as the mage crumpled to the ground as the Templars took over. A few broke the ice on Eren's legs and helped him up.

"Thank you for your information young Cousland, we'll take it from here." The Templar nodded. Eren wiped a few of the ice crystals from his legs and nodded. Eren grabbed his sword and grabbed my arm. The people were scrambling out because of the random fire and Eren dragged me away. He clenched my arm and I had trouble finding my footing. We found ourselves in the city proper where Eren pushed me against the wall.

"What was that?" Eren asked lowly. "You could have gotten yourself killed! Do you not think before you act? I had everything under control!" Eren reprimanded me.

"Everything under control? In case I saw wrong, you crashed against the desk and she had your sword!" I shouted back.

"In any case, you made this much more difficult! If you had a weapon why did you not use it from the beginning?" Eren scoffed. My face went red with embarrassment. "Do you even know how to fight?" He asked. I bit my lip. He sighed and rubbed his face. "Of course you do not know."

I gritted my teeth. I hated being looked down upon but more so I hated being useless. This situation proved the fact that I am nothing; that I did nothing.

"Of course I don't know how to fight." My voice quivered. "I was only a cook beforehand with only my family to take care of. I didn't know anything, all I had was a normal life! I didn't ask for this!" My lip trembled as tears filled my eyes. "And now I can't go home and I lost everyone I love! I can't fight worth anything because I never needed to! I was normal, I had a normal life, I had kids, I had my husband! I didn't need to fight." I sobbed.

"Ah hey, you should not…" Eren panicked slightly, his hands waving slightly as he didn't know what to do. Eren sighed and rubbed his face as I kept on crying. "Then there's only one solution to this." I wiped my eyes and scowled.

"What's that?" I cleared my throat.

"I will teach you how to fight." Eren nodded. I gaped at him.

"Didn't I tell you that I didn't want to fight!?" I snapped.

"At this point it isn't a choice. You will learn to fight, you have the stupid notion that if you jump into a situation everything will turn out fine. As you saw there are many things that can go wrong and we were both lucky we got out alive." Eren explained.

"Didn't you say you had everything under control?" I wondered.

"That is not the point right now." Eren said. "I understand you lost everything but you cannot live your life in grief. You are under my command now and for that you will learn how to fight."

"What's that going to change?" I mumbled and looked at the ground. Eren chuckled and I looked at him.

"Everything." He smirked.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare.**

 **You ever get in one of those real life stints where it robs you of all inspiration and joy? Yeah, I was recently into one of those and could not write for the life of me, very sorry for the late update but I am back!**

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	12. A Breakthrough

9:28 Drakonis/March 13th

"You have not been able to increase your stamina in these two weeks." Eren commented as I completed my third lap around the castle grounds. I tried not to puke like the first few times.

"I feel…like…I'm dying…" I wheezed out. I coughed again.

"You should be grateful that I am not making you run in your armor." Eren chuckled evilly.

"It came in?" I wondered, wiping my brow. Eren gave me a water skin and I drank like my life depended on it.

"Early this morning. The smithy came in early this morning to deliver it." Eren took the water skin. We went earlier in the week to take my measurements. Eren called me fat. I stomped on his foot for that.

"So…are you going to make me-" I started.

"Run laps with it on? Most likely but first we need to build your stamina. Summer is coming and I can't have you dying of heat stroke." Eren scoffed. I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, I have a question." I said.

"When do you not?" Eren huffed.

"Why do you talk so informally outside of the castle and then switch when you're back?" I wondered. Eren motioned with his head and I followed him toward the barracks.

"It's natural for me to switch to formal talk around the castle but within the guard it's different. They don't see me as the son of Bryce Cousland but my own man. I have earned their respect." Eren explained.

"And lost a lot of it because of your womanizing." I added. Eren glared at me and flicked my head. "Ow!"

"That is beside the point." Eren murmured.

"Um I think it's all the point. It's the reason why I'm here remember?" I said. Eren sighed.

"The reason why you're here is not solely because of that reason. There is another." Eren added.

"What?" I asked. We reached the barracks and it was an onslaught of activity, guards taking breaks, switching rotations, clocking in, and all that jazz.

"Of that I am not sure." Eren sighed and grabbed a box and pushed it over to me. "I still don't understand why my parents asked you to be a caretaker." Eren mumbled. I looked into the contents and it was the armor he ordered, the plain chainmail with the Highever symbol on the breastplate.

"I'm still writing the reports for your dad and telling him everything we go through. I got chewed out for that mage incident even if he did praise you." I explained, getting a glove and realized that it was extremely heavy.

"Good afternoon Captain." A few more guards passing us by. One gave a snicker when he saw me. I frowned and looked away. Eren grabbed the box and motion for me to follow him. We went inside an empty room where he grabbed a few clothes and put them on the desk with the box next to them.

"Put on the clothes and I'll show you how to put on your armor." Eren said. I had a silent moment and stared at him.

"In front of you?" I wondered.

"Yes. Where else?" Eren said bluntly.

"Geez, no decency huh? Turn around!" I snapped. Eren rolled his eyes and turned.

"It's not like you have anything to show." Eren mumbled. I threw one of the gloves at his back and he did a groan of pain. The clothes were plain but tight fitting, long sleeved shirt and leggings. I put on my socks and huffed.

"Alright I'm done." I said. Eren turned around and looked up and down before nodding. He grabbed the glove I threw at him.

"Put it on. The finger slots are here." Eren instructed me through every step and strap that I had to tighten. There was a reason for my tight clothes. It avoids bunching in certain areas and allows for a comfier fit. After I was done, I couldn't even move properly. It was almost like being in water with all my movements slowed down.

"Ugh…this thing weighs a ton…" I grumbled.

"Not as much, though for someone as inexperienced as you, it might as well be." Eren smirked. I stuck my tongue out at him. "Follow me, if you can."

"Yeah, yeah stop your pompous grinning or I'll kick your ass." I grunted in strain as I tried to walk in the armor.

"Such language is unbecoming on a young lady such as yourself." Eren laughed. We went out of the barracks.

"Screw you." I mumbled, very much liking for this day to be over.

"Many have." Eren commented. I rolled my eyes.

9:28 Drakonis/March 29th

I landed in a heap on the ground. The armor made it very uncomfortable but my body was feeling so exhausted it didn't care. I looked at the pink sky as dusk was settling into night. My hair was stuck to my temple from the sweat and my pants turned into coughs.

"Please don't yack. It would be the first time in three days." Eren commented, throwing the water skin on top of my head. It felt pleasing and cool.

"Oh that feels good." I moaned, pressing the water skin on my eyes. Eren sat next to me on the ground.

"Two laps around the castle. You are getting better." Eren said.

"Jesus, only two? It felt like a hundred…" I struggled to get up and Eren helped me. I greedily gulped down the water until there was nothing left. "So how long until I get used to this?"

"It will take time. You're so weak." Eren chuckled. I kicked his foot.

"Jerk." I rolled my eyes.

"You should be grateful that I am training you. Many have flocked to be my squire." Eren said haughtily. I rolled my eyes

"It's not that I'm grateful but I am going to complain." I stuck my tongue out. Eren gave me an irritated glare. "What? Did I get at your enormous ego?"

"Just because you've proven more than an occasional nuisance doesn't mean that you should still disobey me." Eren mumbled.

"I follow your orders and stuff when you train me. It's the other half I really don't like dealing with. You actually act like a normal person when you're training me. Then you get this look where it looks like you're a dog in a prideful stance and you want me to tell you good boy." I explained. Eren coughed.

"What?" Eren asked.

"That's how you look like to me. Just because you're good at something doesn't mean that I'm going to praise you every single time. I'm giving you my thanks for the training by following it. You could at least drop the whole 'I'm still better than you,' thing." I shrugged.

"That's because..." Eren started before sulking again. I rolled my eyes and I sighed as night settled. The wind was cold in the night. Eren and I had a silent moment as I gathered the strength to go back to the castle. He seemed to be almost lost in thought.

"I have to be prideful of the things I earn." Eren said quietly. "I am the son of a Teryn. I was raised to be fit for a king. I schooled under scholars, trained with elite soldiers, and I managed everything with my will. I became Captain of the Guard with my skills, I have won tournaments and women throw themselves at me. Why shouldn't I be proud of what I have done?" Eren asked.

"It's one thing to be happy with the things you've done. It's another where you let that pride get to you and you start thinking that you're better than everyone. Does a King think solely of himself and let's his people die in front of me because of pride? Because if he does, he isn't a good king." I replied. Eren bit his lip.

"I hate to admit it but you have a point." Eren mumbled. I beamed. "Oh don't look so cheerful, it's disgusting." Eren glared. I laughed.

"At least I got through that thick skull of yours and have eased the giant stick up your ass." I added. I was holding my ribs from laughing so much.

"That's a very pleasant picture." Eren said sarcastically. "Well, that's enough rest for today. Let's go back in the castle." Eren got up. I struggled to sit up and he gave me his hand so I could stand up. We went through the castle gates and Eren ruffled my hair before going toward his room. I went to my own and took off my armor. It was easier to breathe without it on. I stretched out my aching muscles and went to write my report for Bryce and to review the letters for Oriana. As tired as I was, I had a job to do and I had to do it well.

9:28 Cloudreach/April 14th

"Your reports of his behavior for the past month have been very consistent. I have seen a massive change in my son thanks to your guidance." Bryce commented, reading my reports. I bowed or tried to. I was afraid that if I bowed for real, I would end up on the floor thanks to the armor.

"I try my best my lord." I said politely. He nodded. I noticed that his study was very different from Eleanor's and Oriana's. It's to be expected from a war veteran though. There were various weapons that weren't of Fereldan make, stuffed heads that I couldn't recognized, and even a portrait that had utilized real drake scales.

"I am pleased to see these changes in my son and in you Nia." Bryce folded his hands on his desk after putting down my reports.

"My lord?" I wondered.

"The very act of taking a sword to protect him has garnered my respect. I hope you will do your best to take care of my child." Bryce nodded. I gulped and bowed again. "Considering his behavior has improved, I will only need monthly reports instead of weekly. You may leave." I saluted him and walked out. I let out the breath that I've been holding and rolled my shoulders. Bryce was a very intimidating man.

The warm wind blew as I walked from the study and out into the open courtyard of the castle. Today was my day off and I didn't know what to do. I ended up back in my room writing a letter to Rael again. There was another incident in the Alienage from what he told me. Things are getting worse. I try to give him as much as my pay as I could. He got mad and told me that I should have kept it for myself. He's still very grateful for what I send him though.

I really wished that I could see him again. Hanging out with the guard was fun but I know they still looked down on me since I haven't gotten much experience. I was a green horn to them who have been training since they were young boys. I played with my ring again. The loneliness was still there but I was dealing with it the best that I could. In four months, I would have already been here for a year now.

The questions burned at the back of my mind and I wondered about my family. I couldn't think too much about them though. I was trying to do everything I can in order to stay sane and find my way back to them.

9:28 Cloudreach/April 23rd

I had another fade dream. This time it was where most of my family lived, a country away from where I was. I nearly tripped from another pot hole that was in front of me. As much as I loved my extended family, where they lived always grossed me out. Halo was near my side but it always made sure to stay a small distance away from me. Yes, Halo is halo because he looks like a Halo.

The silence freaked me out. Where I used to see people walking to and fro, cars rushing in and out of traffic, with the sounds of people busy about their day was completely empty. I groaned slightly and I looked up. The various islands were there as usual with the largest island in near dead center. I asked Halo about the Black City. It told me it didn't know what it was only that it was extremely dangerous.

We walked as we usually did. I would see wisps here and there floating on by. Halo described that they are curious about my dreams. They were very different from the other dreamers. These were places they have never seen before. Halo told me not to interact with them. They are easily swayed by a human's emotions if you're not careful.

I got bored though once the creepiness started to wane. It was always like this. All I do is walk through my memories of where I had gone and then I would wake up. Halo would always keep quiet unless there was a dangerous spirit near me and it would force me awake. Besides that one time when I met a compassion spirit, there was nothing to do here.

The one thing I noticed whenever I traveled through these areas was the farther I was away from the point where I woke up, the weirder the landscape got. Halo explained that the fade has trouble shaping dreams the further I walk and things tend to get weird which is why I would find floating homes or light poles.

"Well this is certainly a peculiar case." I heard off to the side. Halo immediately came in front of me. There was a young man dressed in very dark colors with a hood over his head. There was a mage staff on his back and I could feel Halo's demeanor change. "There has never been a time when I found a dreamer here. I thought nobody could even gain this ability."

'You need to wake up.' Halo pushed against me.

"Come now, don't be frightened. I won't hurt you. I merely wish to speak." He moved closer. Halo shined really bright in front of me.

'Stay back.' Halo demanded.

"Such a rare spirit that you've found. Might I ask your name?" He asked. I felt Halo's energy raise and it made me get goosebumps.

"I want to ask yours first." I calmed down. Spirits are warped by your own expectations. I tried not feeling fear. He laughed.

"Oh it's a human custom to introduce yourself first isn't it?" He took off his hood and I couldn't help but deny the immediate attraction I felt. "Ardor you may call me. Now, your name?"

'No.' Halo denied. I rolled my eyes.

"My name is Nia. Halo is protective." I said. Halo huffed. "You should know that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover." Halo turned away with a pout. Ardor laughed.

"So interesting. Are you a mage?" Ardor circled around. I kept my guard up but not enough to influence me. "No, there isn't a spark in you. Odd. Were you forced into the fade? No, if you were you wouldn't be so…aware."

"I'm not really sure why. This happens a few times a month actually." I commented. Halo gave me a disgruntled snort. "Hey I have a right to ask questions."

"Of course." Ardor chuckled. "Not a mage and yet you walk and you know more than what you let on. Tell me, how do I look to you?"

"You look like a regular mage…but you're not." I described. Ardor smirked.

"Very clever. Indeed I am not a mage but you could say that I am a collector of strange oddities that I come across in the fade. Many things have acquired my interests to the smallest wisps who know a curiosity to those rare and rarely found spirits of Wisdom. The very fact that I even found a protection spirit has, how do you humans call it, made my day?" Ardor laughed.

"Then if you know so much then can you tell me why I keep going into the fade even though I'm not a mage?" I asked. Halo kept on waving itself in front of me but I kept on staring at Ardor.

"Unfortunately I have no answer to that. I have traversed the fade but the only way for a normal human to come into the fade and be aware is if it's forced through lyrium or…" Ardor gave a side glance to Halo. "A powerful spirit."

'This talk is over now.' Halo shined brightly and for a second I thought I saw Halo turn into a different shape but I was in the waking world before I was able to catch it. I blinked in the low light and rubbed my eyes.

"I hate dreams like that. It makes me feel like I didn't sleep at all." I groaned. Ardor gave a look to Halo and even he said that Halo is a rare spirit. It had to be powerful enough to send me in the Dragon Age world in the first place. Could Halo be bringing me in the fade on purpose? And why? Oh boy, more and more questions that I have no answers to.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare (Hopefully you liked the changes I made)**

 **Shout out to Grin like the Chesire Cat, DarkDust27, and Rainsfere for favoriting/following! Thank you Chimera Spyke for your review!**

 **Yay! Another chapter! I know I know this whole thing is going on and on but I want to really focus on Eren's growing maturity and the training of Nia so, I'm sorry! Please Review!**


	13. Getting There

9:28 Bloomingtide/May 17th

I panted as I finished my tenth lap. The sun was high in the sky and I smelled like high heaven. I was able to run in this ridiculous armor. Every single time I took it off, I felt how light I was on my feet. Eren nodded in satisfaction and threw me the water skin. I finished it off and I wiped the sweat off my brow. I gave him the water skin and we went back into the castle.

"Good job. I was sure to think it would take time to master your armor but you've surprised me yet again. Of course you've only got so far with my expertise. For that, it's time to take the next step in your training; how to fight." Eren explained. I felt an anxious knot and I breathed out.

"I knew this was going to come sooner or later." I sighed.

"Yes it was." Eren said, going into the training grounds that are reserved for the squires and trainees. We went into the small armory and there were various wooden swords, generic shields, and training dummies. Eren passed me two wooden swords and they were extremely heavy.

"Holy shit, how can you even swing these?" I exclaimed. Eren laughed and shook his head.

"You'll get used to them. These wooden swords are not as heavy as the real swords." Eren described.

"Then why the hell am I using these?" I groaned, as I lifted each one.

"To build strength of course. Once we build your muscles in the arms with these, practicing with the real ones will not take too much time. Come, your training starts now. Jeffery!" Eren called out. One of the trainees that was with a training dummy came by. "You and she will start your mock battle. Don't stop until one of you gets disarmed or are unable to fight."

"Oh you have got to be kidding me!" I shouted.

"Best way to learn is through experience of course! You should be grateful that I am overseeing your training personally." Eren announced.

"I'm beginning to really dislike you!" I growled.

"Less talking, more fighting. Begin!"

I was massacred. Ok that was a bit of a stretch but I got my ass whupped in a manner of speaking. I could barely raise the wooden swords to defend me let alone get an attack in. Jeffery knocked the swords out of my hand in no time flat. I have a few bruises on my forearms thanks to that. I hissed in pain and rubbed the areas where he hit. Eren tsked at me.

"Such horror. You have no stance, you left yourself wide open, and you didn't even get a hit in." Eren graded me.

"I told you I have no experience fighting." I mumbled. Eren pushed me back in the ring and gave me the wooden swords. He made me lift them up through force and put both swords in front of me. He shifted my feet and made me do a minor hunch.

"There, remember that stance. It's a good defensive stance to protect your vitals. Since you have no experience, then we need to get you focused on how to protect yourself. How to swing a sword comes later." Eren nodded at Jeffery and he went back in front of me.

"Oh come on!" I moaned.

"It's better to fill your days with experience." Eren smirked.

"Oh wipe that grin off your f-"

"Begin!"

9:28 Bloomingtide/May 30th

"Ow, ow, ow…" I hissed as I rubbed the Elfroot that Aldous gave me over my bruises and cuts. I was able to swing one sword but the weight through off my balance. It was a testy thing to use but at least I was able to swing. I looked at myself at the large mirror that Eren gave me to look at my bruises better. I was extremely surprised at the way I looked.

I never really saw myself after all this training. Most of the time I would take a bath and then knock out on the bed only to rise as soon as Eren pushed down my door. For once I was able to really look at myself. All the fat that was on my body was nearly all gone. Instead I was fit and lean and dark. The freckles were more pronounced on my face thanks to all the training in the sun. It felt good. I flexed and admired myself before rubbing more Elfroot on myself. The worst were my hands. I had blisters and callouses everywhere. It seemed like my hand was a gigantic callous.

I was sad at that if only because I really like the fact that I was able to keep my hands feminine looking even with my cook job. It was hard to do that with the high temperatures and constant hand washing. I was able to then but now…my hands look like man hands. Oh well.

I poked at my blisters as I wrote. They stung but every blister came a step forward with my training. In truth I was beginning to like it. I was never so interested back home. Really the only time I even held a knife was when I had to cut and prepare food. Being able to train with wooden swords gave me a sort of power that left me with an anxious bubble in my stomach, a good one. The thought that I'll have to fight against real people leaves me shaking. I really don't know what I would do in that situation.

I had to fight against that guy in Denerim but that was different. All I knew was what Rael showed me. What Eren was showing me was how to effectively kill someone. It wasn't a thought I really like having in my head. I guess I'll cross that bridge once I come to it. Until then, I had to do what I can and learn all I can. I can't be a burden to the future Hero of Ferelden.

9:28 Justinian/June 9th

"Halo you can't just keep telling me to keep away from everything. Spirits aren't good or bad inherently. All spirits can offer you something." I explained to Halo. We were near a lake while I was sitting on top of rubble while Halo huffed again. There were a few wisps hanging around, mostly out of curiosity.

'Demons. Danger.' Halo said for the umpteenth time. I groaned and rubbed my face in exhaustion.

"They only turn into demons because they expect you to. Wisdom can turn into Pride, Love can turn into Lust, and visa versa. You need to keep an open mind Halo. You remember Ardor? I knew he was kinda fishy but in the end was able to at least give me some sort of answer you know?" I said. Halo puffed out its chest before floating on top of the lake's surface, pouting again.

I was trying to convince him that yes the fade is a dangerous place but all spirits have knowledge that you can use. In the back of my mind, I knew that Ardor was some sort of desire demon because of the way I felt attracted to him but I ignored it and used my open mindedness in order to gain more info. Halo was having none of it though. It seemed that he was a very black and white type of spirit that only saw good spirits and bad demons.

It wasn't hard to explain its behavior away. If Ardor was right and Halo was a protection spirit, then it would try to protect me from harmful spirits but not all spirits are harmful if you don't think they are. Even then, I knew that I couldn't be so easygoing. I had to keep an edge here otherwise I might get in over my head. The fade was still a very new place to be in and it's more dangerous to me since I couldn't even use magic.

Instead, I tried to imagine the weight of the wooden sword that I used to practice with. The rivets on the handle, the smooth texture of the wood, the weight and shape of it. The first few times were odd pieces of it, not the whole thing. Eventually I had the whole sword and soon I was practicing my stances and swings in the fade. As I was going so, Halo kept on giving me small over the shoulder looks but never coming over to my side.

I sighed, putting my sword in my makeshift scabbard. I walked over to the lake but ignored the water. It didn't even ripple as I walked across it. Halo looked over before huffing again. I took out my hand and reached out.

"I'm sorry." I said sincerely. I bit my lip and closed my eyes. Then I felt a warmth on my hand. Halo had shrunk itself and settled on my hand. If love could feel like a physical object, Halo would be it. It was almost like I was able to feel what Halo feels for me. It was so beautiful I can't even begin to describe it. I started to tear up before I felt a goofy smile on my lips break out.

I woke up with tears in my eyes. I could feel the change in Halo and it made me feel fuzzy inside.

I got up and put on my armor in record time. I used cold water to wash my face and comb my hair. I came out just as Eren was about to knock on my door.

"Training…time." Eren had a shocked face. I giggled.

"Good Morning! Is it time for our ten laps around the castle? Considering that the sun isn't up yet, it is! Let's go!" I pumped my fist and taking the lead. I looked back and Eren gave me a confused look. "Well? Let's go."

"Did something good happen?" Eren asked as he stood next to me.

"Yes." I giggled.

"Are you going to tell me?" Eren asked.

"Nope! It's my secret." I felt my face flush as I remembered how Halo felt like. I felt the goofy smile before giggling again. "I'll race you to the starting point!" I sprinted through the main gate. As the guards looked at me with wide-eyed wonder, I felt that my feet were light as feathers. I went in front of the main gardens, panting but feeling good. From the small hill I saw the two moons retreating, which were so cool and the light of morning already dying the sky into pinks and oranges. Eren finally caught up and smacked me on the back.

"I don't know why you are so spirited but I'll use this to my advantage. 15 laps with a few water breaks of course." Eren nodded.

"Yes Eren sir!" I saluted. Eren raised his eyebrow.

"I'm not really sure why you are following my orders so readily but no matter. I might as well use this while it lasts. Now go."

9:28 Justinian/June 16th

"Gah!" I felt the breath knocked out of me again as Jeffery knocked me on my ass. It took him a minute though. I'm able to block his attacks for the most part now. That bout took 10 minutes because I was able to see his incoming attack which was a huge improvement. I coughed before sitting up, the hot sun on my head and my hair up in a ponytail.

"Not bad, you're starting to get better. Of course none of my brilliance has even shined in you." Eren helped me up. I rolled my eyes at him. Jeffery gave me a nod of respect. I rubbed my cheek from when Jeffery's sword hit me. "Here." Eren offered me some water and I drank my fill. "You are able to defend yourself but you should try attacking. Anxiety on the field can be the difference from saving a life to having yours snuffed." Eren explained.

"I know but even if I can lift these things, it still takes a moment to swing you know?" I sighed. Eren frowned.

"You said you were a cook, when you weren't using it how did you hold your knife?" Eren asked. I raised my eyebrow but I switched the blade from pointing forward to where I held the hilt and the wooden sword, with where the blade would be, is against my forearm.

"This way I won't accidentally stab anyone when I was walking through the kitchen." I nodded. It felt right to hold it this way.

"Then fight that way as well." Eren suggested. I frowned.

"Are you sure? Won't this actually hurt me instead?" I asked. Eren shook his head.

"Not unless you know how to handle it. With this the blade would be close to your body but it also gives you an advantage of using your fists. There are also benefits of being able to bring your fist close to your opponent and, with it, your blade. It can give you a clear way to the throat." Eren noticed my grimace. "Or your fist can do the talking. Jeffery, take a break." Eren came and got the wooden swords and stood in front of me. "Begin."

"You sure Eren? I'm not-" I started before Eren quickly closed the gap in front of us and had his wooden sword at my throat.

"That is how fast you can die. Don't hesitate and come at me. I would have hoped that you would learn with that small mind of yours but clearly that was giving you too much credit. Now you are going to train under my rules. Be ready." Eren said in a low voice. He walked over to where he was before and went into a stance. I gulped but I had to trust in Eren. I switched the other wooden sword to the way I was holding the other one. I had to start learning how to fight for real. There's no other way.

I got beat but I got up. I can see where Eren was coming from. Instead of following the blade in the other hold, I was following my hand this time. It seemed more natural to me. I decided to take Eren's offer and learn in this manner.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare**

 **Shout out to KoraKendalls and Ojren for following/favoriting! Shout out to Chimera Spyke and Syutaku for reviewing!**

 **Rainsfere:** _I'm so glad you're enjoying everything so far! I made sure to make Nia a real person with defects and plenty of weaknesses to make her likeable and easy to relate to. Here's seeing your continued support!_

 ** _Please review!_**


	14. So the Truth is

9:28 Solace/July 3rd

How to throw a good punch: Form a fist but keep a small space in between your closed fist, keep your thumb near your fingernails, and hit with your knuckles not the flat side. You have to have good balance and throw your weight behind your punches to hit hard. Forearm and bicep strength is a big factor as well as timing to land the second one. Why am I explaining this? It's because I finally got my official weapon and punching things are on the list now.

Every single day since Eren showed me my new stance, I have been practicing almost religiously to get it down pat. I would fight against Eren and several other trainees in order to practice my footwork and how to use the wooden swords. I would be feeling like a purple bruise but in the end it paid off. I was able to parry instead of just defending, landing attacks when I saw the opportunity, and even including moves that weren't part of the overall guard training.

Eren noticed that I had good balance and I was quick on my feet. My laps turned into sprints where I would be forced to change my direction at the drop of a hat. Turning here and turning there while evading whatever Eren had to throw at me, usually rocks. I would have to evade while keeping a fast pace. It was almost like suicides in basketball.

With that I added a few kicks to my routine and, with my small body, a few rolls too. Eren said that having it would be extremely handy. Eren was slowly training me in a rogue style instead of a warrior style, taking my quick footedness and small stature into an immense advantage. I started to win against the trainees here and there. Every single time I did, I would look to Eren with my big and goofy grin. He would add a usual quip of how my uselessness is starting to wane and I would throw my wooden weapon. In all good fun though.

My new weapon?

Knuckle daggers.

"So this is something you have training in?" Eren asked. I gave him a small design on what I think suited me best. He tweaked it a little as we sat in his study right next to Aldous' right before we sent it off to get it made.

"Somewhat. I used to own a pair back home. I feel more comfortable with it than a regular dagger. Even with my knives I was scared to hold them in case I accidentally stabbed someone." I sheepishly chuckled. Eren frowned.

"You know you might need to do that eventually." Eren said, nodding at the finished design.

"Do what?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Stab someone with intention." Eren replied. I bit my lip and looked away, looking at the fireplace that illuminated the small room. I heard him sigh and rub his face. "It's something that you can't prepare for no matter what but it will eventually come down to that." Eren brought his hands together in front of him. He had a faraway look to his eye.

"What…um…when…?" I couldn't phrase it right. I sighed. Eren frowned.

"That's a story for another day. Now, I wanted to ask this for a while. You've mention you lost your entire family, it even shows on the records. Yet when you speak about them, it's as almost as if you believe they are alive, why?" Eren asked seriously. The pit in my stomach dropped to the floor. I knew this would come eventually. I would have given myself away if it wasn't for what Oriana did for me. I pouted, trying to come up with a believable lie. I decided to hell with it.

"My family is still alive, they're not dead." I confessed. Eren smirked.

"I knew it. Then why lie?" He crossed his arms and asked.

"Because I can't go back home, not yet at least. It's…difficult to explain." I sighed and rubbed my face, feeling the weight coming off my back. Eren leaned against the table and stared at me. "You're going to keep wondering until I tell you huh?"

"You are finally admitting it after so long so you might as well indulge me. Now, as you were saying?" Eren motioned with his hand. I chuckled.

"Well…it's kinda sorta unbelievable really. I'm not even sure if you're going to see it as the truth. Heh." I took a deep breath. "I'm not from Ferelden."

"That is expected." Eren snorted.

"I'm not from Thedas entirely." I confessed. Eren gave me a confused look.

"Then are you from the west? The lands that have no blight?" Eren asked. I shook my head. "From across the ocean? I mean that might as well have been a suicide mission but…" Eren took note of my solemn expression.

"I'm not from this world at all…" I whispered. Eren stared at me, waiting for me to continue. "I got into an accident, one where I would have lost my life and…something pulled me into this world." I leaned my chin into my hand, remembering all the things that happened on that first night. "I couldn't believe it, I didn't want to believe it at all!" I got up from my chair and started to pace. "I mean, how could that happen to an ordinary person you know? I was just minding my own business and boom, I'm about to die. I'm about to die and that's that right? No. Lo and behold, I got saved, pulled by some weird spirit thingy or something, I don't know!" I ranted with Eren watching me carefully. He closed the door discreetly during my rant.

"I get pulled and wow, I'm saved! Then the world turns grey, green, and weird and then I fall again into freezing and shit smelling water of the Drakon river while a boat is burning almost right next to me. I'm freaking out you know, like hard panicking before I realized I needed to swim or drown. I swam to safety and realized I was in a place where I realized I shouldn't be in! I was like, what in the hell? Then I nearly died when I was covered in cuts and they were infected and Rael saved me. So now I've been here in Ferelden for nearly a year and only God knows how my family is doing!" I panted. I wiped at the stray tears. "All I wanted to do was go home and I don't even know how to do that. They need me, my kids need their mother, and my husband needs me for sure! God!" I kicked at the table before finally collapsing in a crumpled heap next to the fireplace.

The warmth of the fire was making me sweat as I brought my knees up to my chest, armor be damned. All I did was stare at the floor, wiping at my tears. It felt good to let this all out but, at the same time, it brought out all the feelings I kept hidden. I sighed after feeling more composed. I stood up but refused to look at Eren in the eye.

"So yeah, there you go." I shrugged my shoulders. "That's what, where I came from. So go ahead and label me as an insane, idiotic, stupid girl or whatever." I huffed. I heard Eren coming up to me and braced myself for anything that he was going to say or do to me.

"Look at me." Eren said sternly. I shook my head. Eren sighed. "Look at me or I'm going to force you." I hesitantly looked up. Eren crossed his arms.

"You are an insane, idiotic, stupid girl." Eren repeated. I was going to kick his balls again when he put up a hand. "Although this story is extremely unbelievable and I have no studies on the fade or spirits, something about the way you explain sounds...plausible."

"Are you ser-" I started.

"Regardless." Eren interrupted. "It does not matter your origins, who you left behind, or anything from the past." Eren put his hand on my shoulder and looked at me square in the eye. "You are my guard, you are the one I am entrusting to watch my back, and to defend me from those who cause harm to me or my family. I trust you. It's a stretch I admit but your feelings for your missing family are there. You will get to see them again I am sure of it." Eren nodded.

"You know...you actually sound nice right now? It's really weird." I said. Eren growled and threw his hands up in exasperation.

"Why thank you, you ruined the moment." Eren rubbed his face. I laughed.

"Sorry, sorry...ok serious moment again. Thank you. You don't understand how much this really means to me, I mean that. Thank you." I said sincerely. Eren looked over at me and rolled his eyes.

"You can be such a pain in my ass but I have to admit, my life has been interesting since you've been here." Eren smirked.

"I'm here to please but...can I take a day off? I'm...really exhausted." I whimpered though I didn't mean for it to come out like that. Eren rubbed his face and nodded.

"One day and then I want to see that obnoxious, annoying, and tenacious guard after that." Eren flicked my head. I nodded. I went out of the study and went back to my room. I took off my armor and laid in bed, looking at the ceiling. After the cry earlier, I really wanted to cry some more but all I felt was a big empty hole inside of me. As if there were no more tears to cry or that I was getting used to being away from my family. I didn't like that one bit.

9:28 Solace/July 21st

"Ow!"

"I told you not to run your finger across the blade!" Eren berated me as my knuckle dagger fell on the training ground.

"But I wanted to check if it was sharp! You told me you got it sharpened!" I stood there, holding my left wrist while my thumb bled like crazy. It was an odd habit of flicking the blade to check it's sharpness. It's what I always did with my cooking knives but daggers are on a sharpness all their own.

"All the training that we put in and it got dull, of course I got it sharpened!" Eren shouted at me while flinging a handkerchief at my face. "Now stop bleeding so we can pick it up again." Then a guard came and saluted.

"Milord, your presence is required in the main hall." He said.

"Why?" Eren asked.

"Rendon Howe and his family has come to visit." The guard replied. A pit in my stomach fell to the ground and the blood rushed out of my face. Eren must have noticed my unease.

"I understand, tell my father I'll be coming in half an hour." Eren said. My cut was already turning into a scab before Eren got my arm and started to drag me. I was able to pick up my fallen dagger in an instant, not wanting to forget it.

"Eren! Hey!" I struggled.

"Stop. We'll need to be presentable for Howe's family." Eren continued to drag me despite my protests all the way to his room. He made me stand in the corner before taking off his armor and getting another set that was much cleaner. He gave me polish and a rag. "Clean your armor as fast as you can." Eren said gruffily. I sat on the bed, taking off my own armor and doing what he said.

"Is there something that I'm missing? Why are you so mad all of a sudden?" I wondered. Eren scoffed.

"Howe and his family is here. This means that my father and he are going to start to bore us with their old war stories, my mother and his wife are going to gossip, his son is going to be annoying, and then they're going to try to set me up with his daughter." Eren scorned the last part.

"Well that sucks." I laughed.

"You have no idea but you need to be presentable for them so keep on shining." Eren said.

"Aren't you going to be a little embarrassed that you'll have me as your glorified nanny?" I asked. Eren scoffed.

"You are not my nanny. You are my personal guard and I expect you to act that way too. Try not to say anything that will get on Howe's wife's bad side. That women is a demon in disguise." Eren shivered.

"I can tell that this is going to be a fun meeting on my part…" I mumbled.

* * *

 **Beta'd by the beautiful FearaNightmare!**

 **I am really liking the lovable jerk that is Eren. Sorry it's been taking such a long time to get to the blight, I'll be there by chapter twenty or so**

 **Shout out to NPC200 and txchimama for favoriting/following! Thank you Chimera Spyke and Dforce76 (Hi there! Nice to see you again!) for reviewing! Please Review! :D**


	15. 360 Days

9:28 Solace/July 21st

When I first saw Howe in the game, I really didn't like him. I didn't know how far he would go until I played through the noble walkthrough. It was then when I realized he was a despicable human being. His face resembled a fox and his voice was a mixture of a sneer and fake politeness. I stayed back while Howe's family and Eren's family interacted. I could tell that Eleanor was very stiff with Howe's wife.

Then there was Delilah. She was definitely younger than Eren but had so much make up caked on her, it was hard to tell. She had on jewels that shined in the light, earrings that even I envied but it was all a bit too much in my opinion.

The dinner started while I had to stay out on the wall watching them. Bryce and Howe were laughing at their war stories while everyone was listening to them. The manners were all impeccable on the Howe's side while Eren and Fergus kept on being playful with Oriana and Eleanor trying to keep them out of trouble.

I was bored out of my mind and extremely hungry. The delicious smell wafting into my nose wasn't making things better either. I noticed that Howe's wife was watching Delilah carefully. It must suck to be in their home with her around.

"I've noticed that Nathaniel couldn't come again." Bryce mentioned. My ears perked at that.

"Yes, his pilgrimage in the Free Marches has kept him busy. He writes often though and I try my best at replying." Howe said.

"Too bad Eren and he cannot duel like old times! I was always curious at which one would be stronger." Bryce took a sip of his drink.

"Wouldn't the duel be between Nathaniel and I father?" Fergus commented.

"No, that would be too easy of a fight for you Fergus." Eleanor chuckled. Everyone did a light chuckle but the Howe's were more strained than the rest.

"I must say though Eren, it seems that your handling of the guard is impressive. The streets are impeccably safe compared to Denerim." Howe praised.

"More can still be done. My job is never over." Eren shrugged with pride. Fergus laughed and slapped his back.

"The ever working man! Of course that only comes about in between romps!" Fergus laughed. Eren glared at him.

"Fergus!" Eleanor reprimanded. I rolled my eyes. Of course they were going to talk about that.

"Isn't it about time to settle down? A man like yourself should already have some prospects." Howe looked toward his daughter and she smiled on cue.

"I am not looking for anything right now." Eren replied and frowned.

"Such a shame, a man of your talents could make any woman very happy." Howe commented.

"Or maybe he already has one." Howe's wife immediately looked at me. I looked away from the table and resumed my stance.

"Her? She's my guardian." Eren said quickly. Howe laughed.

"A guardian? The Captain of the Guard needs one? I thought you were very capable on your own." Howe's words dripped with sarcasm.

"It's better to have eyes in the back of your head or a dangerous woman holding a knife." Bryce laughed and slapped Howe's back. Howe's smirk nearly faltered. I almost wanted to laugh.

In the end, the dinner party ended with no more sarcastic quips from Howe and everyone started to retreat into their rooms. I followed Eren out and he dragged me by my arm. I growled in frustration.

"Hey what is the big-" I started.

"I need you to come with me." Eren snapped. I growled in frustration. We went out of the castle and toward the hill where I would start my training. Eren paced in front of me as I stood there watching him. I sighed trying to figure out where this was all coming from.

"Why? Is it so hard to understand I have no interest in settling down? And yet they keep at it with, you must meet the daughter of this noble or how about Delilah that's years younger than me! You saw how tacky she looked with all the make up on her face. What is this notion that I can't be my own self-made man!?" Eren ranted, huffing and crossing his arms. I stared at him before nearly collapsing in laughter. "I have yet to see the amusement in this situation." He glared at me.

"You're such a spoiled brat!" I breathed out, grabbing my ribs because they were hurting from how much I was laughing.

"What did you say!?" Eren yelled. I caught my breath while chuckling a few times.

"Really? That's the thing that you wanted to tell me? You can't be a self-made man? Uh if you haven't forgotten Eren when you're a noble, you're going to get force into political marriages duh. I mean, you with your brilliant mind couldn't figure that out?" I chuckled.

"But I have done so much to make them realize that I have a choice!" Eren growled in frustration.

"Look Eren if your parents allowed Fergus to marry Oriana who was from Antiva, I'm pretty sure they'll let you marry someone of equal value from any other place not just Ferelden. I don't see why you're making a big deal about it." I shrugged.

"I hate having my life planned out for me." Eren pouted. I rolled my eyes.

"Eren no matter where you go, you can't forget your roots. You'll always be the son of Bryce Cousland. There are things that will be expected from you. As much as you don't want that, you'll have to live with it. Believe me, you have the means to make anything of yourself. You have that luxury of being able to choose your way of life..." I looked down. "Not many people have the choice. So go ahead and rant all you want but remember there are people that would kill to be in your position right now." I said solemnly. Eren stared at me before huffing. "Anyway if that's all you called me out here to say, I'm going back to my room. I'm exhausted." I walked down the hill.

"You don't need to follow me during Howe's stay. I don't want any more misunderstandings between you and me." Eren called out.

"Yeah, yeah." I agreed.

"I had better not catch you behind me!" Eren yelled.

"I get it!" I shouted back.

"I am serious! If I catch you, it's 50 laps and never ending practice duels!" Eren shouted.

"Fine! Jesus Christ! Shut up already!" I shouted. I rolled my eyes. What a prick.

9:28 August 1st

"The castle feels…different today." I said as we walked through and the workers were very somber. Eren sighed.

"Do you even know what day is it today?" Eren sneered.

"Uh…" I mumbled.

"Today is All Soul's Day. We remember those who have passed on. Many often light bonfires or a candle for their families that have passed. The Chantry lights a giant bonfire to remember Andraste. It's not a pleasant day. Many lost their families in the war against Orlais and those wounds are still fresh." Eren sighed.

"Then can I light a candle too?" I asked.

"You have lost someone?" Eren wondered. I nodded. "That's fine. We can get a candle in front of the Chantry."

"I don't want to light it at the Chantry though." I said. Eren looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "I don't worship Andraste." He bumped me on the head. "Ow!"

"Try not to say that out loud. People can be sensitive to those words." Eren warned. I rubbed my head.

"You didn't have to hit me…" I mumbled. The streets, that were normally busy, were extremely quiet today. People didn't smile and vendors sold mostly Chantry related things such as statues of Andraste and other religious figures along with candles. Eren bought me one and we headed back to the castle, the second in command taking care of things today. Eren went to his room reminding me that he had to go to a vigil at the Temple with his family later tonight. I lit the candle in my rooms and prayed. The only person that I lost that was close to me was my uncle. He was a professional painter and our personalities were extremely similar. He promised to teach me everything he knew. He died.

After I prayed, I went to write again to Rael. It seemed that they went through another riot and the guard has been increasing their patrols around the Alienage. He told me it was a recipe for disaster and I agreed with him. I hid some coins in with the letter and put it away for when I went by the post office. I sighed and rested on my bed.

That was the only thing that I hated being here, I got so bored. I would usually put on a movie, watch anime, read manga, or play video games. There was nothing to do here. I got down with Oriana's letter the night before and turned in my report along with them to Bryce. I got up and changed into my servant clothes and went into the larder.

Nan was the first to notice me in there. She was resting while Awell and Thellan worked on the dinner. I shrugged.

"I'm bored, what can I do to help around?" I asked.

"You have nothing to do and you ask for more work?" Nan asked. I shrugged my shoulders again. She chuckled. "This is why I like you. Alright, start on deboning the chicken we have already cooked and get some of the herb butter in the larder." Nan explained. I nodded and went into the larder. As I was looking for it I noticed some of the flour bags moved and a small door on the floor. I got what I needed and came out to get the knife needed for deboning.

"Hey Nan, what's that small door on the floor? Is it your secret door of secrets?" I chuckled.

"It's the servants exit and entrance. It connects right outside the gates of Highever though its hidden enough the most won't be poking their heads in here." Thellan explained.

"Most of the servants don't stay in the castle proper. They usually go out and retire to their homes in the city. Only those that need to be on hand stay such as yourself have their rooms." Nan explained. "Now less talking and more prepping."

"Yes ma'am. " I nodded.

9:28 August 7th

I lied on the dirt of the practice grounds, staring at the few stray clouds in the sky while trying to catch my breath. Eren beat me for the fourth time that day. I coughed again and swallowed some blood from when his shield caught my face. I could already feel the swelling. The blood was pumping through my face as it heated up. I saw Eren's shadow cast over my face and he shook his head.

"Is that really all you have? What happened to your tenacity that you've been boasting about for the past few days?" Eren scoffed. I turned away, looking at the wooden sword that he disarmed earlier in the fight.

"It's just…today isn't really my day." I sighed. "I kinda just want to lay down for the rest of the day I guess."

"Too bad." Eren said, grabbing my arm and forcing me to stand. He grabbed the sword and put it back in my hand. My mind was too preoccupied to focus on the fight though. As he stood in front of me and got into position, all I could think about the fact that I've been here a year. A full year.

My son would have turned three. My daughter two. I would have been with my husband for four years. It hurt. It hurt so much my chest wrenched painfully. I bit my lip because I felt it starting to quiver.

"Oh no, don't you start crying now!" Eren yelled but I couldn't even see him from the sudden influx of tears in my eyes. Everything looked blurry until I breathed out and giant tears went down my cheeks. Eren growled while I wiped at my eyes. "I did not hit you that hard."

"It's not that you jerk!" I snapped.

"Then what!?" Eren shouted.

"I've been away from my family a whole frigging year!" I blubbered out before putting my face in my hands and sobbing loudly. Eren grabbed me and took me in a room that wasn't being used. "I miss them so much…" I whimpered. Eren scoffed and stood there while I sobbed.

"Hey." Eren said. I looked at him before he pushed me roughly.

"What the hell!?" I shouted. He rolled his eyes. That got me angrier. I really shouldn't cry in front of this prick. I left the room but Eren caught up and tripped me. I gasped before regaining my footing. Eren glared at me and my rage hit an all-time high. I growled before trying to hit him but my anger made me sloppy. Eren was able to evade my attacks. I kicked and I punched while Eren glared and evaded.

I crunched low and immediately did a low sweep. That caught him and he fell to the ground. I was going to kick him but he grabbed my leg and threw me on the ground. My breath hitched but I used the momentum to roll back up. He stood up as well and I tackled him. I went for a punch and he caught my hand. Then I tried doing it with the other fist and he grabbed that as well.

"You see what you can do now!" Eren growled, struggling to keep me away. "This is your strength and I am very sure that you have already planned on how you are going to go home!" That made me weaken my grip slightly. "I am not sure how long you'll be staying here with me but with your strength, you will meet your family again." Eren reassured me. "Crying in a corner doesn't suit you." Eren smirked. I was completely floored. This was Eren trying to comfort me. I did feel better getting angry and fighting him than crying alone in my room.

"Um am I interrupting something?" Jeffery asked, coming into the practice ring. Then I noticed what we were doing. I was sitting on Eren's chest with him holding my fists/hands. Eren immediately forced me off.

"Andraste's flames, you're heavy. Recruit! We were merely practicing grappling. There was nothing more to this than what you saw." Eren quickly recovered while I stood up, dusting off the dirt. Jeffery gave Eren a disbelieving look before going back to the barracks. Eren cleared his throat. "We will never speak of this again."

"…You really know how to cheer up a girl." I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

"I must confess, I have never had a relationship as long as this one." Eren looked away.

"I'm not sure if I should be surprised or feel sorry for you." I chuckled. Eren knocked me on the back of my head. "Hey!"

"Let's stop with this silly emotional play we're putting on and start practicing again." Eren grabbed the wooden swords and tossed me them.

"I thought we were going to-" I started.

"You earned it as punishment!" Eren branded his sword and shield.

"I can't tell if I hate you or if I'm beginning to like you." I glared. Eren smirked. Here we go again.

* * *

 **Beta'd by the very lovely FearaNightmare (She is awesome!)**

 **For a second I thought I was going to update tomorrow due to medical reasons but luckily by beta pulled through! :D**

 **Shout out to Zomgirl74, Rararagon, MyBloodyPanda83, and txchimama for favoriting/following! Thank you Syutaku (You made me laugh with your reviews), Chimera Spyke (Love you, seriously), and Rainsfere (This one is longer lol) for reviewing! Please Review!**


	16. Resolve

9:28 August 13th

We got hit with a late summer monsoon. I was stuck inside playing with Oren while winds and rain were pelting the castle since early morning. It wasn't letting up at all. It wasn't too different from where I lived but I never lived near the water. Highever was a coastal city and I could already guess the damage the storm was making.

"Nia, ink!" Oren said. He was still young but his tutor was already training him in trying to write. Mostly it was squiggly lines. I nodded while I lounged around. There wasn't anything to do and I was getting bored. I started to doodle along with Oren while his tutor just yawned.

Eren and Fergus came late, having to go to the coast and help with evacuating citizens from flooding. I was sent to my room where I did a few more doodles from the spare vellums and charcoal pencils. I was kept up late at night with the winds and didn't realize when I fell asleep until I noticed the unfocused world. I groaned and got up.

I woke up in my old neighborhood. I really didn't want to see this. I was still hurting from the fact I've been here for a year. Halo came on by and rested on my shoulder. I sank back on the ground. I watched as small wisps flew in the sky with the Black City in dead center of the sky. I sighed.

"Halo, how long is it going to take until I get back home?" I asked. Halo sank itself on my chest like a cat.

'Not sure.' Halo said. I huffed.

"Of course not. I just wish I knew when I'd be going back." I stared up at the sky. I didn't want to explore or find other spirits. I wanted to rest. I wanted to sleep and hope I would somehow wake up alongside my family. I miss them terribly but I had to keep hoping that one day I would see them again. I sang a few songs under my breath and wished that I can get back to the waking world.

9:28 August 14th

"Check for more survivors down Hunter's Lane. What's the status in the village center?" Eren was busy moving about checking the shacks that were torn down by the storm. I was helping gathering a few items that people had to leave behind in their homes. Most of them weren't of worth money wise but were very sentimental. I was also tasked to find any survivors.

Even though the evacuation was messy and hurried, Eren and Fergus were able to get most people out before the river bank flooded and took their homes. There was always the chance that someone didn't get out though. I fished through the wreckage, finding no bodies or even hearing any sort of life. As much as Eren wants to save people, even I knew it was a very small chance of them being able to fight against the water.

I noticed a few more bodies and I got the debris off them. I signaled another guard and I helped them carry the bodies to the Mother that was with us. She gave them their final rites before sending them to their pyres. Families found their own and were grieving in a corner as we found them. A few were swept away in the sea, never to be seen again. All Eren could do is console them that they are not in any pain anymore.

I gave a few family items back and they were grateful before continuing the search for more bodies. Everything was depressing me and it was hard to look at the cold, unmoving corpses. I vomited when we found the first one and now my stomach twists painfully at every single one we find. As I walked through the debris I heard a small whisper near my ear. I looked around but I didn't see anyone besides a few guards that were still searching.

'Over here.' I twisted around. Now I know I heard something. I strained my ears as I followed where I heard it. 'Here.' I stopped at some debris where the attic wasn't completely destroyed. I tried to lift it with no budge. I looked around but no one was close to me.

"Come on, please, someone help me." I whispered. Either it was my imagination or something else, but as I was lifting, something lifted with me. I grunted in effort as I lifted the roof and put it aside. There was a woman that I knew was dead but something was in its arms and it was pink and breathing. A baby.

"Hey! I found a survivor!" I shouted. I crouched down and got the small bundle in my arms. They groaned and started to cry. A guard found me and nearly cried. I rocked the baby trying to calm it down. I dipped a clean cloth in water and put it in its mouth. It suckled greedily.

"We found one." He cleared his throat. "Someone help me with the mother's body!" A few came by while I went to the families. A man started to cry in front of her positioned body, her hands on her chest.

"Excuse me, are you her family?" I asked. He wiped a few tears.

"I…I'm a merchant and was out to business in Denerim when I heard of the storm. I came as soon as I could but…" He blubbered on. I held out the baby that calmed down with some water.

"This one survived." I said. The man bawled as he held his child.

"Many…blessings…of Andraste upon you!" The man messily wiped his face before bowing and thanking me some more. I wiped a few stray tears and thanked him. I felt a pat on my shoulder and Eren was next to me.

"Good work." He nodded before going back to the search. We didn't find anyone alive after the baby but we were able to give everyone else a proper burning ritual. The burning went on until late at night and we returned back to Highever castle exhausted in more ways than one.

I retired to my room and took off my armor in a heap. I knew I wasn't supposed to do that since it lowers the quality but I didn't care. I went for my water and made myself a bath. I needed it after all I saw today. It was…a nightmare. I don't think I would be able to forget the bodies of the drowned. The worst part was that most of them just looked like they were sleeping.

After my bath, I knocked out on my bed and immediately woke up in the fade again. I groaned in exasperation and got up.

"Can't a girl get some sleep around here?" I complained before Halo settled on top of my head. "Hi Halo."

'Visitor.' He said. I looked around and there were two spirits that had human like silhouettes.

"Were you able to save the child?" One asked.

"Of course she did! She had me helping her!" The other one boasted. Halo led me to them.

'Strength. Compassion.' Halo introduced us. 'Halo, Nia.' I was surprised to find such rare spirits in front of me. I made sure to clear my mind as best as I can to not impression them.

"The child was given back to they're father. It lived. Were you the one that guided me?" I asked. Compassion nodded.

"And I gave you my strength to help you in your time of need." Strength gave me a salute.

'Ask and you shall receive.' Halo said.

"You are a curious one and we have been watching you. Your entrance to this world was something to behold! Many of us have come to understand what you are. Word travels fast young strength and you should do well in keeping with your training." Strength nodded. The more I talked with them, the more their forms became clearer to me. Strength looked like a man dressed in full plate armor but that was to be expected. Compassion looked more androgynous and had no clear human form.

"Thank you for both of your help." I bowed. I felt Compassion smile at me.

"I protected you from your nightmares after your deed today. I merely followed what you wanted. It is nice to see such a dear and caring human." Compassion said.

'Rest.' Halo said.

"Of course. Human bodies are unlike spirits. Rest young strength and find the will to continue on from today." Strength comforted me before I fell into a comfortable sleep. I had questions when I woke up but those I would save later for when I talked to Halo again.

9:28 Kingsway/September 13th

After some good training with my knuckle daggers, and some accidental cutting on my part, Eren has taken me out on some guard rotations. He said that these were easy ones. I went out with Jeffery and stood at attention in the marketplace while checking out if something went wrong. It was the stuff that other guards didn't like to do but it was required.

Jeffery was no longer a recruit but a full blown guard. He told me that his parents were both merchants but that business was going to be taken over by his older sister and her husband. He had a more active duty that he wanted to fulfill. We stood and looked over the shopping district of Highever. Each two guards centered on one lane and a few walked around.

Though there were only a few thieves to take care of, all in all it was an easy shift. Some guards disliked it if because it keeps them out of the outer city where the real action takes place. I was glad that all I had to do was catch a few thieving munchkins. Since I wasn't a full part of the guard, Eren only kept me there for a few hours until I went on his own rotations. After that it was back home and the schedule continued with training in the morning, guard in the afternoon, following Eren later until night fell and I went back to my room, scheduling Oriana's activities.

It was amazing I had enough time to eat, do my business, and bathe. Having a busy schedule kept a lot of my dark thoughts away so I was thankful for this. Eren would allow me a day off on Sunday where all I did was read more on the history of Ferelden and help Aldous tutor the squires. If history bored me, I would switch it up with novels or books about botany. I even peeked at the Chant of Light. It was like Merrill said, it's pretty but to me it was only a story. Whether there was a Maker or not was still to be seen.

I've played through ever single playthrough imaginable, but the fact for me remains that there is no Maker. Though the very same thing can be said for the Catholic God. You can pray but He won't physically intervene, God isn't like that and you shouldn't expect that out of Him either. Still, I do clasp my cross that dangles from my necklace and pray every night. I can't say it will make me reach my goal any faster but it puts me at ease.

Rael told me that there was a riot recently in the Alienage after the Arl's son sent some of his men to 'liven things up.' Rael can't help but try to calm things down. His own mother was killed in one of these riots and he doesn't want to see the same thing to happen to anyone else. He mentioned that the money that I've sent him has helped him secure a few good homes for elves. Rael said that his father was also saying that he would be able to get him a wife soon. He wasn't that happy about it even though arranged marriages were extremely common.

Rael was a romantic. He wanted to spend his life with someone he truly cared for. He didn't want to be with someone merely because they were an elf and they had a good background. It was too mechanical he wrote. I told him to keep looking and he might find someone. I rested at my desk after writing my last letter to him. My own savings were starting to rack up too. I had about 3 sovs from the money that Oriana gives me and Eren for taking part of the guard rotation.

Late at night though, I go into the larder and go through the servant's entrance/exit. The path looked like a catacomb and it was musky and damp. Other than that, it was a straight shot outside of the city in a secluded garden. After walking for a few minutes, I was able to find the main road to take to the city. I try to go through this as many times as I could, mapping out the shortest distance and the best time for a straight shot to Denerim. I couldn't rely on Duncan to save Eren and his family. There was always that chance that he won't come here.

Until then, I had to do whatever it takes to save Eren and as many people as I could.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare (Amazing person, good writer too!)**

 **More adventures in the fade which will spring up some interesting foreshadowing for way later! I would say try to remember it but by the time we get to the fourth story, I doubt anyone will remember.**

 **Shout out to KafeiDetour for favoriting/following! Shout out to Sarah for reviewing!**

 **Rainsfere:** _I'm better now thanks to medication and Eren won't have to worry about that in his future besides Anora, and that he chooses himself.  
_ **Chimera Spyke:** _I love your rants and ravings! Your reviews keep me going :3  
_ **Syutaku:** _Thanks! I decided to change the pace of their relationship to Jerk Eren from the beginning and slowly him going to not so much as a Jerk to a lovable Jerk._

 **Please Review!**


	17. Alfred

9:28 Harvestmere/October 3rd

"A mabari puppy?" I wondered as I sat down, eating at the main dining room along with Eren.

"Yes. A litter was born nearly two months ago. Usually we would let the mabaris go through training and then choose one for ourselves but the caretaker always gives its best one to our family." Eren explained. I always wondered why Eren or Fergus didn't have one.

"Are you going to be choosing one then?" I asked.

"Yes! Today." Eren seemed oddly enthusiastic. "My father has cleared for one and I will have a handler to help me train him. So now if you don't do your laps well, I can sic my mabari hound at you." Eren laughed haughtily. I rolled my eyes. Sure, give the guy with the large head a war dog, that would do wonders.

After we ate, we walked a good distance away from the castle to a hill overlooking the sea. There was a large single story home with many fences as well as mabari hounds here and there. The trainers were running outside with mabari hounds, teaching them various commands and strength training. These dogs were huge! If pitbulls were the size of a Doberman, and twice as muscular, you would have a mabari. These dogs nearly reached my waist in height and most likely could jump over me.

A few started to bark at us before being quieted down. Eren and I went to a secluded smaller shed at the back. A few howls from inside and barking were reminiscent of puppies that wanted milk. Even I was getting giddy at the sight of a mabari puppy. Eren stopped and crossed his arms in front of me.

"You have to stay out in the courtyard with the others. Mabari puppies are extremely sensitive to imprinting. If one takes one look at you, you'll be dealing with the consequences. Not everyone can have their personal dog, you understand?" He looked at me. I sighed.

"Yeah I understand. Don't be too long." I said, going back the way we came. I sat down on the ground in the shade of a tree, watching the dogs and their regime. A few mabaris came up and I got to pat them. I threw sticks for a few before they were called back. I sat and rested my elbow on my knee, holding my head up with my chin in my palm. It was a quiet day but I felt the chill of an early winter on my back. We'll have to wear a scarf and keep full gloves on to fight against the cold.

I don't really mind the cold especially experiencing winter here. Not only that, I love the snow. I couldn't wait to see it again. As I daydreamed my time away, my leg was suddenly attack by a big pawed, medium sized, puppy. It looked up at me with big dark brown eyes with its tongue lagging out. My heart filled and I let out a girly squeal.

"You are so cute!" I giggled, picking it up and letting it lick my face. Eren cleared his throat.

"Alfred, come!" He demanded. The puppy jumped out of my arms and went to stand in front of Eren. He gave it a good glare before crouching down and giving it a treat. "Such a good boy! Yes you are, yes you are!" He cooed. I gaped at the scene before Eren noticed me. He picked up Alfred and cleared his throat. "That, um, escaped me." I laughed before getting up.

"Don't worry, considering that's a really cute puppy, I wouldn't put it past you. That was still hilarious." I laughed. Eren rolled his eyes before leading away from the mabari house.

"Yes well if you ever mention it to anyone consider your career as a bodyguard over." Eren stuck his tongue at me.

"This is a career?" I wondered.

"Yes! A very prestigious career so you must feel indebted to me for putting you on this line of work." Eren said haughtily.

"Oh yes, you have my gratitude." I said sarcastically. Eren wasn't paying attention to me. Alfred was nibbling his gloves and Eren had this stupid content face on. Eren glared at me and I decided to not pay attention to him on the way back.

9:28 Harvestmere/October 18th

My laps started to include Alfred who was just a small puppy trying to bite my boots. It was really cute but that small body had a ton of energy. My laps increased if only to try to tire Alfred out, which was extremely difficult since Mabari were bred for endurance and strength.

I tripped and rolled onto my back. Alfred took that chance to pounce and start licking all the sweat I got on my face. I sputtered before grabbing him and sitting up. I giggled as Alfred struggled to get out of my grasp. Eren came over and shook his head. He whistled and Alfred ran toward him. Eren crossed his arms and Alfred became attentive.

"Amazing that Alfred learned so much in such a short time." I panted, coming up to them.

"He's not the only one though you must do something about your blubbering after your laps." Eren shook his head.

"I don't blubber!" I pouted.

"Of course you do. You gasp for air and have this amusing face on when you do." Eren laughed.

"Oh sure, laugh at my torture." I rolled my eyes.

"If you say so!" Eren laughed boisterously and I wanted to punch him in the face. A cold wind blew in and I breathed in the air. I could tell that the climate was able to change. After my laps, Eren put me on watch duty again. As much as I knew that I was supposed to watch him at all times, I decided not to since I heard from others that Eren wasn't spending time away from his job. Of course once he starts to get into that bad habit again, I'll pull on his ears and drag him back.

"You are very close with the Captain." Jeffery commented. He was blonde hair, blue eyes, a little scruffy on the chin, and really tall. He was built but surprisingly he was still pure. I shrugged.

"It comes with the territory." The marketplace was quiet today. Many were buying linens, cloth, and yarn for the coming winter.

"So about that time when I found you two in the practice ring-" Jeffery started before I let out an exasperated groan.

"Don't even insinuate that me and Eren are like that, gross. He's my boss and a really bad one at that. He's an arrogant, pompous, poofy, spoiled brat. Ugh, sometimes I even wonder why I stay. I guess the pay is good." I noticed that Jeffery was really stiff while looking over me. "He's right behind me isn't he?" I wondered before feeling that familiar knock against the back of my head. "Ow!"

"Pompous? Poofy?" Eren glared at me. I glared back.

"You have to admit your arrogance is at an all-time high whenever you praise me, if you can even call it that." I mumbled the last part. Alfred barked and waggled his butt at looking at the marketplace. Eren put out a stern whistle and Alfred whined.

"So I guess that means you won't be watching my back while I lead a raid in a warehouse?" Eren crossed his arms.

"A raid?" Jeffery asked.

"Stand down. You haven't been briefed because I am only taking a small group. We caught a few smugglers at one of the warehouses near the alienage. I'll need you to watch my back." Eren said. My stomach dropped. "If we can, we will only apprehend them but if they show too much force, you don't have to hold back." Eren started walking away while nodding to another guard for my replacement.

"Wait Eren, I really don't think I'm ready for this. I mean, I haven't even been able to give you a decent run with my daggers yet!" I countered. Eren sighed and looked at me square in the eye.

"You will never be ready. No one ever is for their first fight. Truthfully I am sure you won't be able to raise your weapon against someone with the way you are, which is what I need right now. These smugglers aren't armed very well and most likely are doing this to stave away their poverty. We're not trying to kill them only trying to give them a second chance, if they let us. All I need you to do is guard me, you can do that right?" Eren wondered. I bit my lip and tried to find the words. Eren rubbed his face. "How is this for a scenario? If I was about to be attack like that one time when you encountered me with the mage, would you protect me?"

"Yes." My answer came immediately. Eren smirked.

"I know. Though that situation has changed from before. You are not fighting with a small carving knife and you are not as weak as before. I trust you." Eren gave me another playful slap as I followed him. I couldn't deny my anxiety. He might not be expecting much resistance but I can't stop my beating heart the closer we got to the warehouse. There were guards and guards who wore leather armor. Eren nodded to them.

There was a main entrance but there were also several side entrances. We used the side entrance and, instead of Eren and his guards going in, the ones with the lighter armor went in first. We went in there with me following right behind Eren. We watched from high ground men moving around, putting shipments in carts. I couldn't tell what they were but it didn't look good. Eren nodded at the leathers and they took out the bows from their backs and aimed. Another one of them lit up their arrows and struck at the carts.

As soon as the arrows landed, the smugglers got into attack mode. Eren took that as his sign and he ran down the stairs, jumping down a few of them. The guards soon went behind him as well as I. The smugglers were outnumbered and stopped their advance.

"I am Eren Cousland, Captain of the Guard and I call for your surrender! Should you choose to, your punishment will be swift and not severe. Lay down your weapons." Eren announced. My hands twitched near my daggers and everyone one else had a face that would immediately switch to their swords or bows when needed. The smugglers that had nothing but tattered cloth laid down their weapons.

"Fools!" There was one that still held dearly to his daggers.

"The product is burning boss!" Another one threw their weapons.

"Cowards!" He launched himself with Eren coming to blows with him. He tackled the smuggler leader with his shield. He was wearing flimsy armor and I heard the air escaping from his throat. Eren bashed his face in with the shield and took him down with his sword that was still sheathed. The leader was down. I gave a sigh of relief while the guard started rounding up everyone. I helped with putting out the fires in the cart.

I didn't know how relieved I was until everyone was in chains. It was only then that I allowed myself to relax. I already felt the headache coming from all of this. The fire was out and the guard was taking them out to face their punishment. Most likely a good flogging or some sort of prison work. I went toward the cart and saw a lot of food piled in as well as things for winter. Eren came over and took everything down in a list.

"Winter is coming soon and instead of preparing themselves, others would rather steal from those who have more. What they don't know is that they are putting other families at risk just for a few pounds of grain." Eren shook his head. "You did good, as much as you could anyway. I told you that this would not end in bloodshed." Eren smirked.

"Well I couldn't have known that. The overall effect of anxiety is giving me a headache." I groaned, rubbing my head. Eren chuckled.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it." Eren comforted. I bit my lip. I didn't want to get used to it was the thing. I stayed back while Eren redistributed the goods they stole. It was late at night when Eren and I walked back to the castle. For some reason after the warehouse, I became highly alert. I could hear people's footsteps, the cry of animals, the creaks of the carriages. I wasn't sure if I became paranoid or was still on adrenaline from the battle before.

"Relax." Eren said gruffly.

"I'm trying to but…" I sighed.

"We're not in any danger right now. Everyone was apprehended and accounted for. I understand this was your first major battle but there is something you must learn. There are two faces we must wear one to fight and another to relax. See that we have no one following us so we're not going to get attacked." Eren stopped right before we entered the castle. "It's good to be alert but you'll learn how to be alert and relaxed later. It's not something I can teach you but once you have, it will be second nature." I took a deep breath.

"Yeah, I'll get there eventually." I sighed.

"Eventually, though coming from you that might be a few years down the line." Eren rolled his eyes. I stepped on his foot while I went through the main gate. Eren grunted in pain and I smiled at him.

"You know that did make me feel better!" I laughed. Eren glared at me.

"There are times when I wonder why I put up with you." Eren groaned, rubbing his foot.

"The feeling is mutual." I said flatly.

* * *

 **Beta'd by the wonderful FearaNightmare :3**

 **Heh if anyone read my original story then you know what's going to happen in the wintertime and it's not going to be pretty.**

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	18. Desire and Fear

9:28 Firstfall/November 1st

Today was Satinalia. I was part of the guard to make sure there wasn't too much ruckus. I was always curious about mardi gras that they held in Louisiana. If it was anything like this holiday, then it was crazy. People wore masks and partied hard. There was a large festival that consisted of the whole city. People dancing in the streets, throwing confetti, stands selling food, and an overall joyful mood.

It was also during this time that Eren told me to keep an eye out. During the drunken festivities, people tended to loot homes. I was out patrolling near the homes and I've already scared of three would be thieves. I rubbed my hands to create warmth. It was extremely cold but there hasn't been any cloud in the skies, meaning no snow. It made me sad a little.

As I patrolled, random guys came up and asked me for a good time. They were wasted beyond belief if they had a chance with a woman wearing armor. I usually declined politely. Those that kept on trying got a twisted arm for their trouble. One dude kept on fighting until another guard came by and put him in cuffs. Otherwise, I had a good chuckle at all the craziness.

Oriana mentioned that the festivities continued for a good week back in Antiva. I saw a wistful look on her face. It wasn't only a holiday of getting drunk and being nominated for the fool of the day. Back at the Chantry, people were giving each other gifts and not following the insanity in the market place.

After everything calmed down in the center, I went to the castle and started preparing everything for the dinner feast. Nan had mostly everything done. I was only helping with the plating. After everything was said and done, I groaned with exhaustion. I decided to skip my bath for that day and instead immediately slept.

9:28 Firstfall/November 7th

"Halo you have to have an explanation as to how Strength and Compassion found me. Strong spirits like that don't just happen to come on by accidentally." I had my arms crossed, going through another run down city from my memory. I was pacing in front of a store that had nothing inside and a pot hole at its entrance.

'Ask and you shall receive.' Halo repeated from the last time.

"That still doesn't explain how those specific spirits came by." I mumbled. Halo wilted at that.

'Don't know…' Halo's light seemed to dim. I gave it a small smile and sat next to it on the ground.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to prod but…I just want to understand why this is happening to me. If what Ardor told me was true then you're probably the reason why I'm going in and out of the fade. So why doesn't that make me a mage then? I can't fling fire more than I can fire an arrow and why are spirits coming to me? How did I get here in the first place? How can I get out?" I groaned in exasperation and bowed my head. "I mean, try to look at it in my point of view. I'm an average woman that got sucked into this fantastical place all because you decided to save my life. I am not ungrateful though, thank you Halo." I nodded. Halo's light became shinier. "I just…I just want to go home."

"That is a desire most potent." I heard a purr. Halo immediately went on the defensive. I gulped and stood up, not realizing that my instant thought was, 'I need a weapon.' When I looked up and to the right I saw…a male desire demon. He was different from the female version. He had a beautifully sculpted body and a very thin loincloth. He had jewelry dangling from his neck and his ears while his horns twisted inside and up, looking like ox horns instead. His elongated nails from his hands and demonic looking feet had scales running up both.

"Desire spirit…" I breathed out. Halo's ball of energy crackled like lightning. It immediately came in front of me.

"So you're the one they are talking about. The irregularity." He chuckled. It sent a shiver down my spine. "Such an odd environment. I have never seen buildings like this before." It sashayed toward me, every step meant to draw my eyes toward him.

'Get away!' Halo seemed to shout. Desire chuckled.

"Do not bother me, pest. I have an inquiry to share with your host." His shining eyes lied on me. Halo was still in between us until Desire swatted him away with a sort of purple energy. He was entirely different than Ardor. Even though I was trying to keep my mind clear, he wouldn't change into a spirit. I gulped. This was a demon through and through.

"W-What do you want from me?" I asked.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Immediately with the offers. I am not like my other brethren who wishes to usurp control of your body. I am merely fascinated with the distinct architecture that you present. I have been watching you for some time but could never approach. What with these spirits seeming to be drawn to you, I could never even get a foot in." Desire chuckled. "But they have left and now I have taken the stage." Desire bowed and looked at me with eyes that made me weak in my knees.

"So…why are you here?" I asked, trying to hide my trembling. Desire smirked.

"That is a more befitting question. I merely wonder at your memories. The fade twirls and dances to give you such alluring landscapes. I simply want to ask a question: from where do you hail from?" Desire slowly circled me. When my hand twitched, I felt the knuckle daggers on my hip. I gulped and tried to keep my mind clear to not further twist the fade.

"I'm not from Ferelden." I stated. Desire clicked his tongue.

"That is not all." Desire replied. "You are keeping it from me…" I gulped in nervousness. If this wasn't the fade, I would be breaking in nervous sweat.

"I just want to know, if I give you this information will you leave me alone?" I wondered. Desire gave a low chuckle. I felt his nails go through my medium length hair.

"If it suits me. I am dying to know more about you." He nearly growled. I had to keep calm. Like Solas said, even demons can be reasoned with if you have the mental clarity. I had to swallow my fear. It wasn't helping me in this situation. Well, if I had to be brutally honest, then fine.

"I'm not from this world at all. I'm from beyond the fade. A place with no fade, magic is more about tricks and sleight of hand but no conjuring flames. Templars are something of the past and we don't fight with swords or shield but instead we used weapons which launch a high speed bullet through a gun or missiles. People have many worries and we are leagues beyond in scientific movement. I live in a modern age where, with a touch of a few buttons, you can research any sort of information on a pad the size of your hand." I explained swiftly. The Desire demon soaked up all the information before giving me a toothy grin.

"I am in awe human that such a world exists! May I…see more of it?" Desire reached a hand toward me before something big bulldozed it. I felt my body being lifted into a sort of see through cage and being flown before I finally woke up. I let out a breath in the real world, before going to my desk and hitting my head. It hurt and I was sure that I was in the real world. I wrote down everything that I could remember before slumping over and deciding to let the fear take me.

"Oh God, I just talked to a demon…and survived." I let out a shaky breath before jumping in my seat from Eren pounding on my door.

"Up and at 'em! I can't have my perfect attendance be ruined by your laziness." Eren shouted through the door. I put on my armor as fast as I could and opened my door. Eren rolled his eyes. "You have your hair down again. Did you lose all your ties?"

"S-Sorry." I said, going back and putting up my hair in a simple ponytail.

"Your face is white. Don't tell me you had a nightmare." Eren stated. I breathed the cold air as Alfred jumped around my feet.

"Oh God, you have no idea." I rubbed my face.

"Well, no time to think about it. Come! Your morning laps await." Eren led the way. Alfred barked and followed him. He already grew twice the size from when we first got him. My mind was in a haze as I thought back to the fade and about the end. Desire was about to reach out to me when he got slammed by something big. Then I was taken away but by what? Now I have more questions to the ones I already have and absolutely no answers.

It was an understatement to say I was frustrated. I let out that frustration in my laps. I let out growls and small roars of rage. The fear was slowly growing into anger. I wanted answers and Halo, even though being a spirit, had none. What Halo does in the fade for all this time was a mystery to me but couldn't it find something for me? I just wanted to go home or at least something to give me an answer I think I deserved up to this point.

Whatever, I'm too angry to write at this point. Grr.

9:28 Firstfall/November 19th

I am now officially 24. Damn I'm old, already reaching mid-twenties. Ok I'm not that old in perspective in my own world but here, I'm nearly halfway through my life. My son would be three and my daughter would be two next month. The loneliness is still there and my family is always in my prayers every night. Alfred has grown into a beast. A very rowdy beast. A very rowdy beast that really likes to sit on top of me.

My fingers drummed on the ground as Alfred tripped me earlier and is now rolling around to get my attention. I knew that as soon as I stood up again, he would trip me again. His tongue rolled out of his mouth as his back was on the ground. He stared at me with those huge dark brown eyes. I rolled my own.

"You know that Eren is going to beat my butt if I don't complete my laps right?" I glared at Alfred. He barked. I groaned and got up with Alfred jumping up and down. I bent down and grabbed a stick. "Oh look a stick Alfred! Do you want it? Do you want it!?" I cooed. Alfred barked and jumped up and down. "Alright then! Fetch!" I tossed it with all my might and ran like the devil was behind me. I saw Eren at our usual spot before hearing the heavy paws of Alfred running with a large log that I didn't toss. "Where the hell did you get that!?" I panted before coming up to Eren and panting.

"What in Andraste's flaming knickers took you so long?" Eren crossed his arms and glared at me.

"Don't blame me, blame your dog. He keeps tripping me so I can play with him." I caught my breath and got my water skin from behind Eren. He sighed and snapped his fingers. Alfred let go of the log.

"You know you're only there to make sure she keeps her pace and completes her training. No interruptions or you're not going to get those expensive dog treats that Oriana brought back from Orlais." Eren reprimanded. Alfred whined with his ears down. I counted down until Eren broke down and cuddled Alfred. "I can never be mad at you my little Alfred."

"Not so little anymore." I mumbled.

"What did you say?" Eren glared.

"Nothing." I shrugged. Eren scoffed.

"Come." Eren demanded and I followed him like usual but instead of going toward the city, we went back to the castle. Eren stood in front of my room. "Go back and change out of your armor."

"Uh why?" I wondered. Eren rubbed his face.

"Just do it." He rolled his eyes. I went back into my room and closed the door. I put away my armor on the stand and got my usual main clothes that I wore back when I was in service of Oriana. I put on my dark maroon shirt and beige skirt. I left out the apron. I put on my boots and went out. Eren made a disgusted face. "Is that really all you have?" He wondered.

"What do you expect? I don't go out shopping to get new clothes. All I have are my old ones that Oriana gave me." I explained. Eren sighed loudly before motioning me to follow him. I did while Alfred licked my hands. I followed him back to the city and we came to the marketplace.

"Hold out your hand." Eren said. I did and he gave me a pouch that had some weight to it. I looked up in confusion. "Open it." I did and it was a bag filled with gold coins. I quickly held it to my chest.

"What the hell is this?" I sharply whispered.

"Have you really forgotten?" Eren shook his head. I raised my eyebrow.

"Forgotten what?" I asked.

"You've been in the employ of my family for a year now. You can say that this is a bonus that you've received after all the work you put into. Oriana and I gave you the money you carry and you are free to spend it on anything you wish. Of course I'm here just to look pretty." Eren smirked. I gaped at him and the money. I never had spending money, not even back in my own world. It was always something for the kids or I needed the money to pay bills.

"So I can buy whatever I want…" I breathed out.

"Within reason." Eren flicked me on the forehead. "Now come and choose, we're burning daylight." Eren crossed his arms and continued. The first thing on the list was clothes. I bought deep greens, blues, a few black shirts along with matching pants. I found a few earrings that I thought were very nice and bought them as well. I made sure to take things that I would use later on. I got myself a sharpening block for my daggers and a cute cat carved from onyx.

Ok but getting the useful things, I bought myself a sturdy pack, gloves that were meant for winter weather, and ordered a pair of very nice boots. All in all, I still had a very good amount of gold coins left, about 7 with a mix of silvers and coins. I put them in my chest for safe keeping and Eren looked confused at that.

"What? It's the only safe place I can think of." I countered.

"You are so strange." Eren shook his head. It was midday when we left the marketplace. Eren gave me the day off and went to train Alfred. I went back to my own room and filled my pack with a few of the clothes I bought as well as making a list of essentials in case Duncan didn't come during the Howe attack. Sure I might have been preparing too early but I still had a whole year to plan. There's nothing like being too prepared.

As I put my cut onyx cat away, I was going to put a few of my other clothes in my drawer when I saw my phone. I had nearly forgotten about it after all this time. I picked it up and ran my hands on the screen. I tested the power button again but, sure enough, it didn't turn on. I sat on my bed looking at the only reminder of my old life. Inside held all the photos of my family, of my home, of memories that I'm already struggling to remember.

There was nothing I could do with it. Unless I somehow found the person who figured out to use electricity in a manner like my own, this thing is going to remain powerless. I put it away. I never knew when I was going to need it again. If I needed it again…Well, happy birthday to me.

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	19. The inevitable

9:28 Haring/December 2nd

The first snow arrived in a blizzard that went on for a good day and a half. I added a few more pieces of firewood to my fireplace. Eren and I had to help rebuild a few homes that were battered by the snow and hail. Building materials came through and I helped take them to the designated homes. Builders were coming out and they got some silvers for their trouble.

"Well that was a very violent start to winter. This doesn't bode well." Eren went through the number of resources at his room while I heated up some tea for him.

"Why?" I wondered. Eren sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"We've had several hard winters. My father had the best of mind making sure we have many reserves in case the worst comes to happen but those reserves are slowly dwindling. If we have another blizzard like we had before, those reserves will disappear in no time." Eren glared at the numbers. There wasn't anything he could change though. I sat next to him. Alfred was resting in front of the fireplace. The feeling of helplessness was rising. I wished I could do something but this was bigger than me. A single person couldn't change how much food was in the reserves. Trading it from the north was unreasonable and expensive. I sighed and put my chin in my hand.

"So what are you going to do then?" I asked.

"Pray that we won't have any more trouble, though if the winter is this bad, we might need to fend off looters and smugglers." Eren brought his hands up and intertwined his fingers, his chin resting on them. His eyes had a far off look. He was thinking seriously about this. It was this posture that really reminded me of his father. I had to admit, Eren really was a good leader. "You can take the day. I'll need to discuss this with my father and my brother." Eren got up suddenly with Alfred raising his head. I nodded and went out back to my own room. The snow was everywhere and the crunch of it was pleasing to my ears.

I decided not to worry about the grand scheme of things. I had no power to control anything here. I was only one human with a job to protect Eren. That was it. I was nothing more than that. It still hurt that I wasn't able to help more than this. I went back to my room and took off my armor. I started the fire in the fire place and warmed up my water for a bath. I heard a knock at my door and it was the guard that usually brought my letters. I took the letter and sat down.

I read Rael's letter that always brought a smile to my face. It was the usual, how things are going, things are happening here, the 'I miss you' and everything in between. The Alienage finally calmed down and Rael told me about the things that he and his cousins get into. Apparently his cousin Shianni was able to snag a very expensive wine under the nose of an Orlesian merchant. I shook my head at his antics. I keep telling him not to pick pocket but he loves the challenge.

He wondered how they were treating me. He said that he was getting stronger in case Eren comes back for a second round. That he would steal me away from Eren and make sure I was getting treated the way I should be. I laughed at that. I got my vellum and started to write my reply. I got a few silvers to send as well. It made my day.

9:28 Haring/December 13th

I sang Happy Birthday for my daughter's second year at the top of my lungs when I woke up. I cried a little bit because of it. I could only imagine how big she got. She was going to be a big girl since she had a two pound head start than her brother. I imagined how they would play and fight. My poor husband had to deal with all that without me there. I prayed that no matter how many time passes, it could be an instance that no time passed in my own world. It was a thought but I wasn't sure if that could be true.

I had a frown for the entire day. I couldn't help it. I missed my family. Even Alfred tripping me in the snow didn't cause me much except mild discomfort. Alfred noticed my mood though and acted extra lovable.

"I'm guessing this mood has something to do with your family?" Eren asked as I followed him on his rotation.

"Huh? Oh yeah, how did you know?" I asked.

"The last time you acted like this was when we fought in the practice ring." Eren deduced.

"Oh." I sighed. Eren groaned.

"Please don't tell me I have to grapple with you in the snow to make you feel better. I'd rather not get snow in my unmentionables." Eren scoffed. I did a light chuckle.

"No…it's just…today is my daughter's birthday. She would be two today." I said softly. Eren let out a breath which was visible.

"I can't understand what you're going through. I have never had children." Eren shrugged.

"Heh, are you sure about that?" I raised an eyebrow. He flicked my forehead.

"I might have been a beast in bed but I was always careful." Eren stuck his tongue out. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"I'm betting your prowess has already gone down considering I haven't seen you with anyone since you started to train me." I said. Eren did a condescending laugh.

"Of that you know. I have had many conquests. Not as many as I would like to have, but I have my methods." Eren smirked. I kicked his leg. "Ow!"

"You know you really need to tone down your antics." I sighed. Our route was quiet which was a good thing for today.

"You have no say in my matters." Eren scoffed.

"Have you ever fallen in love with someone?" I asked bluntly. Eren raised his eyebrow.

"What does love have anything to do with that?" Eren responded.

"Hmph, if that's how you feel I feel very sorry for you." I shook my head. Eren scoffed.

"You women and your fanciful dreams of finding your true love." Eren mumbled.

"I did find mine. I just can't see him." I whispered. Alfred whined and Eren stared at me. Our route was kept in silence. Eren didn't find any more sarcastic quips after that.

9:28 Haring/December 18th

Oh God, oh God, my fingers are trembling and, damn it, another ink spill. I just…I really need to write this down.

I swear I didn't mean it, I fucking just…oh I wish I had someone to talk to.

The day started off as always. I ran laps with Alfred, I stayed around with Jeffery in the marketplace but things turned out for the worse once I went with Eren. He was always looking at the reserves and after two consecutive blizzards and not enough people repairing, things were becoming worse in the city.

"Looting has become rampant and the night is getting dangerous. We're short-handed since some of our guards were being ambushed in the night. I really didn't want to do this but unfortunately you'll have to watch my back." Eren explained while Alfred, being the big muscle dog he is, was keeping wary. I was trembling in the dark cold night as well as having my anxiety through the roof. This wasn't like the warehouse, I could be in danger right now!

"E-Eren, w-what are…we going to d-do?" I stuttered. My fingers twitched near my knuckle daggers and I wasn't sure whether the things I was hearing were real or due to my paranoia.

"Would you stop shaking so much? You're making me feel cold. And we are trying to find the looters hide out. Every single time we try to hand out the reserved grain and other goods, they come to steal it from them later. They have to be operating within the city if they are at a constant thieving spree." Eren watched out of the corner from an alley. "I've got a lead and a few other guards are also taking different routes to a suspicious home we got. I think that's their home base. It wouldn't be odd if they were going underground or housing their things until the road's clear." Eren explained, walking again, looking at any shadows that might have enemies.

"Oh this is doing so much damage to my psyche…" I mumbled to myself. Eren glared at me before continuing.

"If you are going to be a liability I will have to send you away." Eren growled. I felt that feeling of uselessness came up and I steeled myself.

"So exactly where is the-" I started before I heard something heavy thump right behind me, along with more bodies jumping from the roofs near the designated house. Eren and I had our backs to the wall in the alley while Alfred snarled at the attackers. We were outnumbered seven to three. I had my hands on the knuckle daggers and Eren immediately got his sword and his shield.

"So you're the one that's been tailing our group. Captain of the guard…kill them." Alfred immediately launched himself at the one that talked. Eren smashed his shield to the one that was closest to him and grabbed me roughly. He whistled at Alfred and we sprinted.

"We need to find our reinforcements!" Eren shouted. I nodded even though he didn't see. Then I felt my legs get caught in something and I hit the snow face first. I cried out in pain and my legs were caught in a whip, thrown by the enemy. I scrambled and panicked, trying to take off the whip with my bare hands, forgetting about my daggers. The first guy took out his sword but was tackled by Alfred. Then my mind caught up with my hands. I took out my dagger and cut off the whip. I stood up in time to catch another dagger wielder.

"Nia!" Eren shouted. I got distracted and got hit in my chest because of it. I coughed out my breath, feeling light headed. Eren caught up with me and bashed the guy in the head. That was three down and the other four gathered around us. It was supposed to be even but I was trembling in my boots and, if I didn't take that time for my bathroom break, I would have shit myself. No joke.

Alfred took a protective stance in front of me and snarled at the attackers. I couldn't even see with my trembling. I nearly had a mini fog in front of my face because I was breathing so rapidly. Then they all attacked at once. My hands trembled with the daggers and all I could do was stop their attacks due to muscle memory. Tears formed at my eyes as I realized that this was something I didn't want. I gasped as I slipped on the slush that was forming under our boots.

I saw Alfred and Eren keeping two guys at bay while the other two centered at me. I knew that they could tell that I was inexperienced. My heart was beating rapidly and I couldn't think straight besides evading everything they threw at me. Thank God for Eren and his beatings or I would be dead.

My luck couldn't keep up with me though. I slipped on my ass and one of the guys raised his sword over my head.

"FIGHT!" Eren screamed. My mind went blank as I screamed in fear and adrenaline as I tackled the guy with both of my daggers. The man screamed and then I looked down. Both of my daggers cut through his heavy leather armor and were in his gut. I whimpered and felt the bile rise in my throat.

"Dan!" The other fighter came running toward us. I kicked the other guy away, my daggers coming loose from his stomach. I stopped the other one's attack, with the blood of the man I stabbed flicking on my face. I panted heavily before Alfred came and tackled the guy away from me. My legs gave out as I weakly looked over to the man I stabbed. The bright red blood shone brightly on the pure white snow. I felt something warm coming down my chin. I reached up and my fingers were red.

I whimpered and panted heavily. The blood… it was everywhere. I couldn't even hear Eren's shouts. All I could focus on was the bright crimson that was surrounding me. I was in between a scream and more mewling before I threw up in the snow. I wiped my mouth before Eren grabbed my shoulders and roughly shook me.

"Andraste damn you, listen to me!" Eren yelled in my face. I bit my lip as sobs wrecked me. Eren's face softened as he saw me. My mouth opened and closed. I couldn't think of a single word to say. I was a mess with my tears streaming, my nose sounding loudly as I sniffled, and my mouth filling with saliva, ready to throw up again. "Nia…" Eren whispered while Alfred whined.

"I killed him." I sobbed. The weight of my actions finally coming through. "Oh God, oh fuck! I k-k-k…" I dug my fingers in my scalp and pulled my hair. "Holy Shit…I…I…"

"Hey, hey breathe." Eren commanded. My rapid breathing making me feel light head. "Oh I know you're going to hate me for this but…" Eren slapped me across the face, hard. It was such a shock that I sat there in the filthy snow, staring at him. "There, I have your attention now…" Eren grabbed my underarms and forced me up. He wiped the traces of snow from my armor and I surveyed the battle. All the other guys lied dead all around us. I could feel another panic attack before Eren grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him.

"I…" I looked down in shame.

"Look at me." Eren said. I did with a few more stray tears falling. "It was them or us. They came at us with intent to kill. You acted in self-defense. You made your decision as did they. Close your eyes and hold my hand." Eren sighed. I nodded and did as he asked. He walked slowly and I felt Alfred herding me as well. I didn't know how long we walked. It was all a blur behind my closed eyes. Then Eren stopped and I opened my eyes. I saw a gathering of guards. Many of them were injured as if they got into a fight. One came up and saluted Eren.

"Ser we have infiltrated their base as you commanded even if you were absent and have dispatched the looters. All of them came at us with their weapon drawn, there was nothing more we could do." The man explained. Eren nodded.

"I also got caught up in them. Well, those who are injured go back to the barracks and get your wounds taken care of. The others who are still able, gather all the goods that have been taken and put them in safe keeping. Unfortunately, I will need to retire for now. I have some business to tend to back home. Dismissed." Eren tugged at my hand and we both started making our way back to the castle.

I breathed in the cold air and breathed out with it coming out as a small wisp. I looked at Eren then at our hands. Alfred came up and put my other hand on top of his head. Eren gave me a small squeeze.

"I was proud of you. You did well evading and catching their attacks even if you were bumbling around like an idiot." Eren mumbled. I gave his hand a squeeze but my mind was too emotionally exhausted to be mad at him. "No one is ever ready…" Instead of going to the main gates, Eren led me back to the hill where I would start my run. He sat me down and I was trembling from the cold snow. Alfred bundled up next to me and I weakly patted him.

Eren sat next to me and breathed heavily. We sat in silence and I stared at the moons and the stars. I left a few tears come out but they were tired tears. The point of mental and emotional exhaustion. I was starting to drift off before Eren cleared his throat.

"I was merely a recruit on a supposed safe run out on Pilgrim's Path. There have been reports of merchants being attacked, their wares being stolen. We thought it was a band of highwaymen and I was part of a small group only meant to track them down. Instead we ended up being ambushed. I lost a good friend that day. She was as firey as you…" Eren chuckled sadly. "When I saw her being struck down, my mind grew blank with rage. I killed the one that did it as well as three more that seriously injured my commander. With that, the others that were with us struck them down. She died…in my arms." Eren cleared his throat and I realized he was trying really hard not to cry.

"What was a young man of sixteen supposed to do in that situation? My commander gave me high praise for acting quickly and creating a blow against our enemies. All I could think about was that I was a monster that only thought about revenge. I didn't give two shits about apprehending them. I wanted them to die for killing my friend. Then I realized the lives that I took and how heavy a burden it really is. I saw that man's face curdle in the eye of his death…and I enjoyed it." Eren explained.

"I thought that I was a cruel man to even think of such a thing. I couldn't even speak to it to my own family lest they think of me as a monster too. So I decided to curb that. Instead, I wanted to save lives. I didn't want to take the easy way out and kill others. That was too easy. Later I learned about those men. One had a family that was starving and only took this option because he wanted to feed his family. There are children living without a father because of me." Eren sighed. I put my hand on his shoulder. "Funny, I was worried about losing you and all I could think of was my friend that I had lost. I am sorry. I cannot say that it will get easier or perhaps you would become number to the feeling. It's all the comfort I can offer at this time."

"…Can I take the day off tomorrow?" I asked. Eren sighed.

"Yes but you cannot weep forever. I expect you to be at my side the day after." Eren got up and helped me up too. I wanted comfort though so I took it from him. I hugged him and rested my face against his cold armor. He tensed up before patting my head awkwardly. I stepped away before walking toward the castle.

I still can't believe it. I'm utterly exhausted but I'm so afraid of going to sleep. I'm losing my mind here and I have no one to talk to, no one to vent to. I just want…I want to go home. I want to believe that everything that happened was a dream.

But it wasn't a dream. I…killed a man. I saw his blood run down my daggers, his blood falling on my face, his blood melting the snow around me. God, please forgive me for I have sinned and I will never walk away from it.

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 **Beta'd by the beautiful FearaNightmare :3**

 **Yes, it has happened. The inevitable. I would suspect that my own mind would break. Don't worry, she will get over this slump.**

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	20. Forgiveness

9:28/29 Haring-December/Wintermarch-January 30th – 1st

It was the New Year, or First Day as they call it here, and I was working all night. There weren't much partying as it was back in my own home. Not the giant celebration with fireworks that light up at night. Not only that, I would do anything to keep anything off my mind. I've been lacking at my training and Eren has noticed.

Not once have I been able to beat him since the day that I killed someone. It was weighing heavily on my mind. At least my hand has stopped shaking when I write again. Those damn ink blotches were a pain to clean. Eren hasn't pushed me besides a few short orders when I'm fighting against him. He showed me more postures for defense but hasn't insulted me since. That was a big change for him at least in my opinion.

So here I was patrolling the quiet neighborhoods of Highever during afternoon. I was to take a break and then join Eren for the late night shift later on. I passed by the Alienage that was more like Kirkwall's alienage than Denerim's. It was open and elves can come in and out if they wanted to. They also have more guards patrolling the Alienage. Most of them were elves that were handpicked by Eren a few years ago. They have rapport with their own kind and the elves trusted elven guards. Win-win.

I peeked a little and saw the great tree in the middle. There were little kids running around with their own shops and miniature town. It was still shacks on top of shacks but city elves always earned my respect that they try hard to keep their own culture. Well the ones that were hard workers.

I walked away and kept on with my patrol. Eren wanted me to handle my own emotions before dragging someone down. It was the reason why I was alone this time.

I kept on thinking about the man I killed. About the fact that I have blood on my hands that I can never wash off. What will my family think of me now? Eren told me it was self-defense and it was but…I couldn't erase what I've done in my mind. I have nightmares at night about what I did and if it wasn't the nightmares, it was the memories.

The push and feel of the weapon stabbing into his stomach. The eyes of realization that he had when it happened. The cold slush underneath my boots. The pounding of my heart against my ribcage. The fear and the panic that overwhelmed me.

Bright red blood on pure white snow. That image kept on replaying in my head. The warm blood on my face, the splatters on the snow, and the man's body…I can't forget it. I can't forgive myself. I took a life. One of the heaviest sins you can ever do and the burden was suffocating me little by little.

9:29 Wintermarch/January 10th

I was in the fade again. I was surprised for a moment when I woke up. The last time I came here was when that desire demon approached me and got tackled by something really big. The scenery looked like my old high school. I rolled my eyes at that. I got the feel for my weapons and they were at my hip. I wasn't going to chance it here anymore. Meeting that desire demon really opened my eyes to this place.

Of course I saw Halo floating around lazily before landing on my shoulder. For a ball of light, I can really tell a lot of his expressions. Right now he seemed to be tired. His ball wasn't that bright. I think he yawned.

"Is everything alright Halo?" I wondered, sitting down on the stairs overlooking the quad.

'Tired. Used too much energy.' Halo replied.

"Too much energy? Isn't the fade energy in of itself?" I asked. Halo shook his head.

'Sensed you were coming. Had to create safe place. Very small. Don't wander.' He explained. I sighed.

"I guessed then the size of my high school is the safe place you made?" I asked. Halo nodded. "That's pretty impressive."

'No demons. Only good spirits…' Then Halo nodded off, content on my shoulder. I shook my head and smiled. I patted him on the head and walked around in the high school that I used to go to. It was amazing that he got all the details that even I forgot about it. It was creepy walking around the hallways though. My footsteps echoed around the lockers and all the classrooms were dark and empty.

I've never really liked it here but I'm guessing that Halo took the place that was big enough for me to at least walk around in. I didn't really understand how he made it safe though. I remembered that strong spirits or demons can create their own place in the fade. I wonder if that's what Halo did?

The quad area was pretty big and he didn't even put in the tables that the students sat on. I put Halo down on a stair and started to practice with my daggers. The more I practiced, the more I thought about that man. Every hit I practiced, I kept on remembering that man's face. My heart started pounding in my rib and then I remembered the blood…I screamed in frustration and threw my weapons away from me. They got lodged in the stone and I collapsed on my knees. I bit my lip and I punched the ground.

I felt a warmth on top of my head. I knew it was Halo. In the fade there is only your spirit so things like breathing is mostly your memory of it. As is tears. I wiped them away while Halo lazily floated down in front of me. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to tell someone.

"I…" I gulped. My throat felt so dry all of a sudden. I didn't want Halo to judge me but if I let this emotional wound fester anymore, I wouldn't be able to do anything anymore. "I killed a man Halo…" I whispered. "I stabbed him and…" I sobbed in my hands. "I'm so sorry!" I whimpered. I couldn't look up as I cried. I was too worried about what Halo would think of me.

'Do you regret it?' I heard.

"Yes of course I do! I didn't mean for it to happen! I…I knew he was going to kill me, kill Eren if I didn't do something about it but…It hurts. I hurt…" I wiped my tears as they kept coming down.

'Do you repent?' Halo asked. I looked up and, for a split moment, Halo looked a lot bigger than a ball of light. Once I blinked, that image was gone. Halo didn't look mad.

"Of course I do. I knew…that it would come to this eventually." I said, wiping stray tears. "I mean, this is a world filled fantastical creatures but…there are also people out there that would do anything for money. Eventually I would have to fight for my life against people…But like Eren said, there wasn't any way for me to prepare. How do you prepare for something like that?" I explained.

'I forgive you.' Halo said. With just those words, I felt a great burden off my back.

"You do?" I wondered with wide eyes. Halo floated in front of my face.

'So long as you realize that what you're doing is wrong, you can always be forgiven.' Halo nodded. I bit my lip and nodded. Halo rested on my head as I wiped the last of my tears away. It might take a long time but I will be able to confess what I've done eventually. Until then, I won't forget the burden of taking a life and try to live with it the best I can.

9:29 Guardian 3rd

I yawned as I watched over the marketplace with Jeffery. The snow was still on the ground and I pulled the scarf I was wearing closer to my face. If there was one thing I hated about the cold was how it made my ears really hurt.

"Tired?" Jeffery chuckled.

"Bored more like it. Not that it's bad." I shrugged. "I don't mind slow days like this at all." Then I heard a scream and a man running away with a very full pouch of something. We both went to work and chased after him. I spotted him on a main road before he noticed me and quickly moved into an alley. With the sprint training, I moved at the drop of a dime and turned into the alley. I lost Jeffery as I followed the thief through the wastes. He jumped a fence and I would follow him. He'd switch to a different alley and I was right behind him.

He made a mistake as one of his feet stepped on a pot hole. He shouted in pain and roughly fell to the ground, coming to a stop at a wall from his velocity. I panted as I stopped and picked up the goods that he dropped. I recognized the shacks near the Alienage and then I noticed that I was chasing a young elven man. He coughed and tried to get up before I took both of his arms and roped them up.

"Hey!" He shouted.

"Don't even try it. You're the one that stole first." I dragged him up and started making my way out of the alleys to find a main road. Once I got out, I saw that there was a gang of elves waiting for me.

"I think you're holding my brother hostage shem." One said. I noticed the similarities between them.

"He broke the law and stole something from the marketplace." I said. The brother glared at the younger one. He wilted slightly.

"Ok, he did something wrong. If you have what he took, then you can let him go." The older one argued. I was outnumbered and wasn't going to take my chances. I took my dagger and cut the rope. The younger one looked at me with a face on incredulity.

"Try not to steal next time." I said and the elves gave me the berth to walk away.

"A kind shem? You don't see that every day." I heard one of them mumbled. I did a victorious smile and ended back in one of the shopping districts where Jeffery found me.

"Thank the Maker, were you hurt?" He asked.

"I'm fine. The guy who stole it dropped it and ran. I recovered the goods though." I nonchalantly lied.

"Did you get a glimpse of what he looked like so we can find him later." Jeffery asked.

"No." I shook my head. "I was too focused on getting the goods back." I shrugged. Jeffery nodded while going over to the woman that the pouch belonged to. Soon after that Eren took me on his rotation. Alfred jumped around me, excited and wagging his butt. I laughed and rubbed his face.

"I heard you took down a thief earlier today." Eren commented.

"I didn't take him down. I only got the recovered goods." I shrugged. Eren ruffled my hair.

"You did good. I was worried there for a second." Eren hummed.

"Worried? You? Sound the bell." I laughed.

"What? Am I not allowed to be worried for someone I care about?" Eren replied. I raised an eyebrow and was more surprised that anything.

"You care about me?" I wondered. Eren cleared his throat.

"It's only natural for a superior to worry about his underlings." Eren smirked and looked proud. I gave him a deadpanned look and tripped him. He gave a surprised grunt with Alfred barking excitedly.

"Of course you would say that." I mumbled.

"You are such a violent woman." Eren growled. "I can't see how your husband even put up with you." Eren scoffed. I rolled my eyes while keeping close to him.

"In one way it was a way to show my affection. Truthfully I only hit the guys that I'm close with or that I really like." I chuckled. "I was that one girl that bullied the guy I liked. Man, I was a terror." I laughed at the memories. Eren raised his eyebrow.

"So what does that mean when you direct that at me?" He asked and crossed his arms.

"Oh that? You just really annoy me sometimes." I stuck my tongue out. Eren huffed and looked away.

"You are impossible." He mumbled.

"I've been told that before as well." I chuckled and Alfred barked happily.

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 **Beta'd by the amazing FearaNightmare!**

 **Slow chapter I know, I know. More of these to come, sorry guys but there is some excitement coming up!**

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	21. Demon and Dagger

9:29 Guardian 25th

"Uh why are you giving me all these letters to write." I asked while Eren was going through books in the library. There was a neat stack of papers that Eren suddenly dropped in front of me.

"Those are marriage requests that you need to send back polite refusals for." Eren flipped a few pages. I gaped at the stack.

"All of those are marriage requests?! From where and when did you get all these?" I asked going through them.

"From the beginning of the month. It was Wintersend. Usually we would have tourney or a tournament but unfortunately the snowfall was too high this year so it was canceled. That didn't stop the other part of it." Eren groaned.

"Other part?" I wondered.

"It's not a grand festival like in Satinalia or in First Day. It's a day of trade and theater but Ferelden keeps away from Theater. It's something Orlais like and people are still hurting from the war. A lot of arranged marriages happen during this time and it doesn't surprise me that the Banns have sent some of their letters for me for their daughters. Though, as I've said before, I am not interested in settling down." Eren explained, finally sitting down with a few books. I looked at his stack.

"Getting ready for a test or something?" I asked, taking a few spare vellums and my ink ready for the letters I'm going to have to write.

"No. From what my father has told me there have been recent reports of an unknown enemy past the Korcari Wilds. I have been trying to find information about the Chasind or Avvar that live in those areas to see if we can find anything like the attacks we've been experiencing." Eren opened a book and started to read. My quill fell when he mentioned the Korcari Wilds.

"Has there been any survivors in these attacks?" I asked. Eren shook his head.

"Only remnants of destroyed homes and people being slaughtered. There have only been two incidents but that's enough to at least cause alarm. We need to strike first and fast before things get any worse." Eren rubbed his face. I nodded and let Eren do his work.

All I could think about was the darkspawn. That's where they first hit Ferelden before spreading out to the whole country. I wrote away the letters while still thinking about the attacks. I thought that it was too early. It wasn't 9:30 dragon yet! Still I couldn't panic yet and I couldn't tell Eren what might be the real reason for the attacks.

I stayed quiet and focused on the letters. I made notes to make more preparations for saving Eren's family. It was all I could do at this point.

9:29 Drakonis 26th

It's been a minute. I know I haven't been writing much but that's because I really had no reason to. It was the same routine everyday but the last three days were a bit different than most. I might at as well write all I could remember.

Eren had another shake down. This time far from Highever. It was a coastal town that was big on smugglers. Every year the Royal Guard would shake it up, arrest everyone it could, and then leave them alone. Eventually, it got repopulated by more pirates and mercenaries and the whole thing would happen again. Eren wasn't thinking of cleaning it up, that was the capital's job. It was a serial killer we were tracking down.

They were hitting Highever greatly the past month. It was the reason I wasn't writing so much. Eren and I were devoting nearly our whole time trying to get evidence and track this guy down. We had a shake up in the warehouse and then we realized that we were tracking a wanted mage. A man in his twenties that escaped and killed the Templars tracking him down and broke his phylactery. Luckily the circle sent someone to help.

After pooling in all our knowledge and, hitting him when he didn't except it, we got him running. We picked up one of his bloody and torn robe and let Alfred do the work. It led outside of the city.

"Are you sure we should do this Eren?" I paced as we were a mile outside of city limits. "The guy is a mage and you should leave this to the circle!" I urged. The Templar, who was named Riley, nodded with his dark brown and messy hair waving around.

"We don't have enough time to call in for reinforcements. We have him and, by Andraste's bosom, I am not letting him get away!" Eren stomped toward me. It didn't intimidate me though. Alfred whined next to the Templar. I glared at him.

"As much as I would rather go toward the circle and gather a few of my allies, he has a point. If we lose him now, then he will take a ship anywhere and continue his exploits. I agree with the Captain. We must strike now if we are to apprehend him." Riley answered. I glared at him too and he cleared his throat. I had a few tense seconds, trying to go through every bad situation in my head. Finally, I let out a long aggravated sigh.

"All right. We'll go through with this but we have to with a plan or else we're screwed." I crossed my arms and leaned against a tree. Eren rubbed his face and looked at Riley and then at me. "What?"

"At this point the only one that he doesn't recognize in our ragtag group of sorts…is you." Eren finished. I gave him a deadpanned look.

"I'm going to be the bait aren't I?" I face palmed.

"Captain I assure you that if we manage to-" Riley started before Eren held up his hand to stop him.

"Look, he knows both of our faces because we both went up against him but she hasn't. Even if we did ambush him, we can't risk another one of his blood mage spree." Eren countered.

"Oh but you can risk me? I see how you are." I huffed, looking the other way. Alfred brushed his head against me and Eren did a long sigh.

"You have no idea how hard this is for me but I don't have a choice. Anyway, we're wasting time talking here. Do you want to go through with the plan or not?" Eren asked. I looked at him and I realized that he was trusting me with this.

"As long as I don't dress in drag and do the hula." I mumbled.

"What?" Eren got confused. I shook my head.

"Nothing. What do you want me to do?" I asked.

"We're going into dangerous territory. Pirates, smugglers, mercenaries, accountants, the worst of the worst." Eren said. I raised an eyebrow at that last one. "You're going to need to go in there and try to convince him that you'll be his bodyguard. Try to convince him to travel with you down the pilgrim's path toward Amaranthine. We'll be a few yards away and a small inn on the road. Riley here will be able to get the drop on him as soon as we have him close. I'm trusting you with this Nia." Eren stared at me hard. I gulped. This wasn't a time for fear. It was a time for action.

"Yes." I nodded. Eren smiled at me and ruffled my hair and threw dirt on me. I sputtered as Alfred ran around me and I fell. "There, now you look the part." Eren chuckled. Riley shook his head at us. We continued on until Eren and Riley fell back. I continued on with my head held high. The closer I got to this village, the more thugs I encountered.

There were a few that leered at me and I glared back with the best scowl on my face. Alfred was sticking close to me, sniffing at the dirt and growling at anyone coming close. I shushed him silently and Alfred kept his tension. No one wanted to mess with 50 pounds of pure muscle that can easily tear their throat apart. Alfred's ears suddenly perked and he kept up with a faster pace to not look suspicious.

Say anything you want about mabaris but they're smart as hell. I followed him toward a pub near the waters. It smelled as horrible as Drakon river when I swam in it. I spat on the ground to avoid wanting to throw up and went inside. There were a few that stared at me and my hound but I kept my gait sure and proud as I threw down a few coppers on the bar stand.

"The best death you have." I leaned against the counter. Alfred barked. "And your finest bone." I rolled my eyes, trying to blend in. The bar maid nodded and got the things I requested. The stuff I got was sure enough to scare paint off the walls but Alfred was content in the bone with some marrow still into it. I downed a good chunk of it before I started to gasp and cough. A qunari sat next to me and laughed.

"Good shit isn't it? I like a woman that can drink as well as you can. What do you say…" His hand started to inch closer to my thigh before Alfred snarled and did a warning bite. The qunari backed off as I glared him away. Alfred put his head on my lap and did a small bark. I looked down at him and he directed his gaze to a really scruffy looking guy with tattered robes. That was him. I nodded to Alfred.

He left me and did his best impression by wagging his butt at the guy. I got off my seat and downed the rest of my drink, fighting the burn down my throat, and walked toward him. I did a long whistle and Alfred came to my side. The mage looked up at me but unsteadily.

"It seems like my dog likes you. Want a drink?" I nonchalantly sat at his table.

"Got enuff to drink." He slurred. I looked down and up, analyzing him. Whatever Riley and Eren did to him left a nasty wound.

"I got a potion for what you have if you're willing to hear me out?" I offered. He looked at me and blinked. I took his silence for me to continue. "Looks like you got hit with something rough. If you'd like, I can keep you out of trouble…"

"Don't go…bleh, got enuff gold…" He spat on the floor.

"Hm, I don't usually do charity work but since my hound seems to like you, I'll make an exception. Do we have a deal?" I asked, putting down a weak potion in between us. He looked at it, at me, at Alfred, and took the potion. "Good, I'll wait at the gates." I smiled and left the pub. I walked out as if I owned the place and continued walking until I reached the 'gate' which was really two old posts. As soon as I reached it, I let out a long breath and panted dramatically. Alfred gave me his confused face.

"Holy shit, Holy Jesus Christ, Oh my God." I panted. "I can't believe I pulled it off. God damn Eren owes me a frigging pay raise after this." I whispered harshly. I cleared my throat and regained my bearings and leaned at a nearby tree. I watched the shadows get longer and I started to get nervous. Did he just dump me? Maybe I put too much trust in him…I knew it! I frigging failed!

As I was beating myself up mentally, I saw that Alfred got up from the spot he was laying in and head butted my thigh. I was about to tell him to lay down when I saw the guy limping over to us with his staff. I almost felt sorry for the guy…Almost.

"The potion did wonders. You have my thanks." He cleared his throat. I nodded.

"I have a contact in Amaranthine, someone that can take you anywhere you want to go for the right price. I can get you a discount since I know them so well." I stood up and started to head north up Pilgrim's Path.

"How do I know that I can trust you?" He stopped.

"What do you want me to show you?" I asked. He took off a small knife.

"Your blood…I only need a little for…reasons." He looked away. He was a blood mage I reminded myself. He could use that to power himself or take control of me…but I needed to do this to gain his trust. I bit the inside of my mouth and took off my glove. I got my dagger and hissed in pain as I made a shallow cut. He looked surprised before taking a small empty bottle and taking a small portion of it before I wrapped it up. "Good, lead the way." He smiled darkly. I did with Alfred giving me a look. I shook my head.

I didn't know what I was going to get myself into. I followed the path and continued through the road, the mage following silently behind me. I didn't even want to start any sort of small talk. I had to keep on my toes and yet look relaxed at the same time. I tried my best to look casual which was easier since Alfred was with me. I helped him a few times when he couldn't keep up. I could tell that he didn't trust me either.

It was a very thin rope I was walking. Then I saw the inn coming up and Alfred rushed forward and started barking wildly. I knew that was probably the signal to Riley and Eren. I ran toward Alfred.

"Hey! Keep it down! Down boy! Heel!" I struggled to catch him before he finally calmed. "Crazy dog." I shook my head before taking him away from the inn. The mage stared at me. "Sorry, he gets wild a few times. He'll listen to me now, right boy?" I crossed my arms and huffed. Alfred whined. The mage huffed and shook his head. I cleared my throat and continued behind him. I looked at the setting sun and my anxiety levels shot through. I had a feeling, a very bad feeling in my gut. I couldn't shake it.

I went ahead as usual before hearing a rustling in the wood. I gave a signal for him to stop to look into it and prayed it was Eren. As I sneaked toward it, I realized that it was…and Eren bashed me in the face. I fell to the ground and he jumped over me.

"Alfred now!" He yelled but I was too disoriented to get up. Note to self: Never let Eren bash you in the face with his shield or any other shield for that matter. Both of my nostrils were bleeding as I got up and the place just got brighter by the fireball that he sent out. Then Riley came out behind him and worked his Templar magic. I saw the mage kneel down to one knee, groaning really loudly.

"You have been caught malificar! You will be sent to Aeonar for your crimes." Riley roughly brought him up. Eren came up with his sword and shield out. Alfred at his side. Then I saw the mage took out the vial of my blood. He smirked.

"No! Get that away from him!" I shouted but it was too late. He smashed the vial and ran his magic through my blood and sent it back to me. Every single one of my muscles failed to listen to me and a fog entered my mind. I felt like a drooling loopy lunatic. I wouldn't be surprised if I looked like it.

"Nia!" I heard Eren shout echo in my mind. I felt my hands grab my daggers and I heard more shouts of pain. My eyes couldn't focus on anything. If this was the cause of being controlled by blood magic, I can see why it was staunchly regulated. I looked up and saw myself being controlled to Eren before my body stopped.

'I will protect you.' I heard Halo's voice for an instant before I regain my bearings again and promptly threw up on the side.

"No!" The mage screamed before Riley, who I briefly saw was badly wounded, was about to end his life. "I am never going to be your prisoner again!" His whole body glowed red before we were all flown across the road. I looked up and in the middle of the road wasn't the mage.

It was a demon, a rage demon. It growled while Riley ran toward it and cut off one of its arms. The rage demon let out a spurt of white hot flames and cooked Riley in his own armor. He screamed in agony until he slumped over, dead.

"Eren we need to go now!" I frantically looked around and saw Eren passed on, his head bleeding. I gasped in horror as Alfred stood to defend it while the rage demon headed toward him. The fear was there but it wasn't as bad as the guy I killed. Demons were different. I got up and got a few rocks and hurled them over, hitting the rage demon. It turned over to me.

"You want some of this!? Then come and get it!" I shouted, grabbing my daggers. The rage demon roared and slithered over to me. I had no ice enchantments, no ice bombs, and no mage with ice spells but there was a small pond I noticed. I kept on throwing rocks and realized that his arm didn't regenerate. That meant that weapons did hurt him. It slithered faster toward me and I ran toward the pond. All the grass underneath it caught fire.

I ran ahead and quickly climbed up a tree. I calmed my breathing. The pond was just in front of me. I heard a roar of frustration and I saw a few trees getting caught on fire.

"Where are you human!? I will rip you apart and burn you until you are nothing but ashes!" The rage demon yelled. I pressed myself against the bark and put away my daggers. I noticed it coming closely to where I was. I held my breath until it slithered past me, right in front of the pond. Right where I wanted it.

I grabbed the branch and silently held my body aloft, grasping at the branch and hanging from it. I rocked too and fro and then I swung with all my might and pushed the rage demon into the pond. It roared as the water turned into steam. I got my daggers and started to slash like no tomorrow. Every slash took a little bit out of its body until I found what looked to be like a heart. I stabbed deep into it and the rage demon melted into the pond.

I panted and the adrenaline started to ease out of my body. I realized that I was covered in minor burns and they started to really hurt. I hissed in pain until I heard Alfred coming and barking. I really wanted to sit down and sleep for about a week but I remembered Eren. I grunted through the pain and followed Alfred as he let me lean on him. He led me to Eren and I got on my knees while rooting in his pockets for a potion.

I found one. I maneuvered to rest his head on my lap. I slathered some of the potion on the wound on his head and opened his mouth. I emptied the bottled and he drank it. He groaned and opened his eyes. I laughed when I felt the relief wash over my back.

"Oh Thank God, thank Jesus Christ. How do you feel? You got knocked in the head really badly." I explained and smiled down at him. Eren groaned and held his head.

"Wha…what happened? The mage-!" He got up but soon regretted it and put his head back down.

"The mage turned himself into a demon using blood magic. Riley…didn't make it." I sighed in sadness. Eren nodded.

"A demon? Is it still around?" He asked worriedly. I shook my head again.

"I killed it. Didn't come away unscathed. My burns hurt a lot but we got to get out of here and report this to the Chantry. Do you think you can walk?" I asked. Eren slowly sat up and moaned.

"Oh…my head…" He groaned with Alfred coming up to his side while I came to the other. I draped his arm over my shoulder.

"Ok we're going to help you up. Careful and slowly Alfred." I said. He barked. I knelt and then heaved slowly upwards. Eren groaned but pushed his weight on me. He was frigging heavy, especially with his arm. "Ok, let's go to the inn."

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 **Beta'd by the wonderful FearaNightmare.**

 **Told you there would be more excitement! Truthfully this chapter would have gone on longer but I split it in half for now. :3**

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	22. Interest and Leaving

**Yes, I am writing up here. Go to this link to check out Nia's redesign for this story! Just get rid of the spaces :3 (** **yamiayala. deviantart art / Nia-Days-of-Our-Start- 609452019 )**

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9:29 Drakonis 26th

The walk there was extremely slow. Eren was dizzy from the hit to the head, not counting his own small burns from the fireballs that the mage threw. Eren moaned slightly with every step. I don't blame him. I saw the small inn that we passed by earlier. Alfred opened the gate and we all went in. Alfred even opened the door for me. I have never been so thankful for a dog in my life. We went in and the proprietor immediately came in between me and the sign in desk.

"I am sorry but I do not house ruffians of any sort! I cannot have any trouble-" The innkeeper started before Eren stood up straight and breathed in.

"I am the son of Bryce Cousland. I request you give us a room. Please." Eren bowed low. The innkeeper was about to argue until Eren showed him his medallion that held the Cousland crest. The innkeeper shut his mouth then and gave us a key to one of his best rooms. Eren told him to forward the bill to his home.

I helped Eren get up the stairs and opened the room. It was very spacious with an armor stand in the corner. Alfred shook himself and took the loveseat. I set Eren down on the bed while someone else came in with a bucket of water and started filling in the tub. I took a bucket and filled it with water. I started the fireplace for the water to get warmed and the person went away. I knew that if I sat down, I would collapse and Eren needed me.

I went to where he was laying down and started to take off his armor. I took off his gloves and helped him sit up to take off his chest plate. I moved lower to take off his boots and his waist armor but he stopped me at that. He shook his head.

"I'll do that myself. Take care of yourself. I'm sure you have something for those burns." He painfully smirked. I flicked his forehead.

"No. You can barely move. Come on, I've done this before. It wouldn't make sense that you'd get embarrassed now." I mumbled, taking off his waist armor and let it fall to the ground. Then I noticed that his pants were burned near spots where his unmentionables were almost at my eye level. I stood up quickly and went to go check at the water, my face burning in embarrassment.

"I told you." Eren laughed.

"Oh shut up." I snapped back. Alfred barked and his tongue lagged out. I heard a few shuffling behind me and Eren was taking out bandages. "Don't you want to bathe first?" I asked.

"That would be lovely but I would be changing into dirty undergarments again so what's the point?" Eren huffed.

"You'd at least get all the dirt and blood off your body." I replied.

"Very true…All right. Gaze upon my body and lust after it for you will only get to witness it once." Eren smirked. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Ha, ha. So funny. There's no way I'd lust after you. You're my boss." I got up and put in the warm water with the cold and checked the temp. It was perfect. I pointed at it and Eren walked unsteadily toward it. His foot folded and he grabbed/hugged me for support. Unfortunately, he was dead weight and I wasn't prepared for it. We both landed on the bed with Eren on top of me. I gasped out and was surprised at how heavy he was. "God, you're so fat." I coughed out. Eren pushed himself off me and stared at me with those clear blue eyes. I realized how close he was and how his face didn't seem so proud at that moment. "Eren?"

"You have burns on your face." He said softly, letting his hand drift over my cheek and forehead where I felt them. He sighed and closed his eyes. "I was a fool. I should have at least brought a squad of guards with us. Ran in the city and gathered all I could."

"You could have and maybe the mage might have used their blood to get stronger. You didn't know." I reassured him.

"I could have…" Eren sighed and hugged me tighter to him. I gulped in nervousness if only because I didn't know what to do in this situation. He rested his head on my collar and I ran my fingers through his hair. It was on the curly side and I never noticed before. "…I'm sorry…" He whispered.

"Don't be. At least I was able to protect you. That was my main concern." I said. Eren got up and stared at me.

"Why?" He asked.

"Why what?" I wondered.

"Why did you protect me?" He asked softly.

"Because it's what I'm supposed to do of course." I replied. Eren scowled before getting up and taking off his shirt. I turned away and put his armor on the stand. I started to take off my own and laid it on a seat and desk that was provided for us. I took off my own shirt if only to slather the elfroot potion I got to heal it. I took a swig of it as well to help with the healing.

Now that everything was winding down, I was extremely tired. I rubbed my face and put on my shirt again. I heard water sloshing and was able to tell that Eren was getting out of his bath.

"You can turn around." Eren said. I saw that he had a towel on his lower half and drying out the rest of his body with another towel. "You can take a dip if you'd like. The water is still warm."

"No." I shook my head. "I just put elfroot on my burns. I'll need to wait a bit until it seeps in and heals it to even use the water." Eren shrugged and moved to the door. "Where are you going?" I asked.

"I'm asking the innkeeper to see if he at least has spare pants. Don't wait up for me." Eren opened and closed the door, going out of the room. I sighed and rested my head on the pillow. The burns weren't hurting anymore and I was about to nod off before Alfred woke up me up. I took the elfroot off and my skin healed up very well. I took off my pants and was about to take off my bra when Eren strutted in with a towel on his hands and a fresh pair of pants. "The pants are loose so I had to get a…" I threw the nearest pillow I could find at his face.

"Turn around!" I yelled.

"Ok, ok!" Eren did and chuckled. "There isn't much to look at anyway."

"Jerk!" I sloshed into the water and washed the best I could. I saw Eren sit at the bed and take my elfroot potion. I got out and got the towel from where he left it. I dried off quickly and put on my shirt and underwear on. Alfred was snoozing on the love seat and I wrapped my hair in the towel and went underneath the covers. I heard a hiss of pain from Eren as he applied the elfroot on his burns. I wrung the towel and got a comb from the drawers.

"Thank you." Eren said quietly. "I don't know what would have happened if you weren't here." Eren sighed and confessed.

"You would have thought of something. You're resourceful like that." I chuckled, settling into my side of the bed.

"Should you really be so comfortable in a room with one bed and me?" Eren asked. I closed my eyes and snuggled into the pillows.

"Heh, I'm pretty comfortable around you. Besides, I feel safer with you around. You wouldn't do anything to me besides get on my nerves." I sighed and letting the tension drop away. I heard Eren mumble something but I couldn't catch it. In the end I slept through in a black haze and woke up in the early morning as I was conditioned to. My muscles ached and I had a headache from yesterday. Eren was softly snoring next to me.

I thought I would never see the day I would see another man in my bed. I chuckled to myself at the implications. I got out of bed and did my stretches to ease my muscles. I cracked a few joints and felt overall better. I grabbed my pants and put them on. Alfred woke up and yawned before coming over. I rubbed his face and he loved it. There was a knock at the door and the same woman that attended us yesterday came by and gave us two platters of food. She bowed as she closed the door and Eren groaned. He sat up and rubbed his face.

"Rise and shine sleeping beauty." I joked while moving my armor and sitting down to eat some soup, bread, dried meat, cheese, and fresh picked fruit. I served myself some fruity drink when Eren sat in front of me and started to dig in as well. Surprisingly there was no sarcastic retort from him. We ate in silence and Eren gave half of his meat to Alfred. "You've spoiled him rotten." I chuckled.

"He's a good war dog." Eren nodded. I hummed in agreement. "Once we've finished, we need to report back as soon as possible. We can't waste any more time."

"Ever the workaholic." I chuckled. After we finished eating, we put on our armor and went out. It took most of the day but we eventually got back. Eren gave me a day off and I laid in my own bed. I was glad I had to take down a demon rather than a person but at the same time I pitied the mage that had to do that. It didn't excuse the four people he killed. There's always a choice.

I got up and started writing to Rael. I haven't heard from him from a while and I try to send monthly letters to him. I wrote about what happened and my first fight against a demon. I could already imagine his worried look and his shaky letters. It brought a smile to my face. For now, I think I'll have a relaxing bath and sleep the day away.

9:29 Cloudreach 11th

Lately Eren has been acting weird. For some odd reason he wasn't giving me as much guff as he was before. He's been more polite to me as well. Has he turned kind? I doubt it. I glared when he told me he was going out, at night.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Eren asked. We were both standing at the gate but he wanted me to go to sleep while he was going back to the city.

"You're sleeping with someone right?" I asked bluntly. Eren scowled and raised his eyebrow. He backed off.

"I'm not sleeping with anyone." Eren scoffed.

"You're acting weird, weirder than usual at least." I crossed my arms.

"What are you talking about?" Eren rolled his eyes.

"I'm saying that you're weird! Every single time I call you a jerk or something like that, instead of you saying something back you just give me this look and go off. This is the third time this month you've gone off on your own. Don't tell me you've gone off to your old habits." I looked at him disappointed. It almost looked like I slapped him when he shook his head.

"What? NO! I have not gone back to-"

"Then what Eren? Why are you acting so weird around me?" I demanded. He punched at the gate and it frightened me for a second, just a second. I glared at him and he glared down at me.

"Do you enjoy being my little play thing? For me to string you around at my leisure? I thought for a second you would enjoy my change in personality." Eren scoffed and turned away from me.

"It's not that! When someone changes their personality so suddenly then something must have happened." I said, walking up and making him look at me. Eren growled and started to walk away. "Eren!" He huffed in anger, grabbed my shoulders and pushed me against the wall.

"I am trying to figure out for the life of me why am I changing as well. Why can't I be free from you just for a moment!?" Eren shouted at me and I stared up in fear. I tried not to tremble but I did. Eren noticed and let me go. I looked away. "I apologize but…I need time away from you." He sighed and rubbed his face. He took a pouch and put it in my hands.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Think of as a vacation. Go to Denerim for a week, a month. I just need to be away from you." Eren mumbled.

"Eren I can't be away from you, I am your-"

"Not anymore." He interrupted. I stared at him at shock. "Just…go." Eren started walking to the city and I just stood there, not believing what I've heard. Fine, if he wants me to leave, then I'll leave. Let's see how he can protect his big dumb ass without me.

* * *

 **My gratefulness to FearaNightmare, my beta :3**

 **Sorry for the late update, I completely forgot. In other news I'm sure many of you are catching on to Eren's interest. Now before you all go and say 'Yeah right, she can't be that oblivious.' I AM. I did not know my husband was in love with me for 6 months until he told me. There was a guy that I knew for a year that I played with his hair, held his hand, hugged him for very long periods of time, and didn't realize he had a thing for me. As long as I don't feel any romantic feelings toward that one person, then I dont notice them. Ok, end rant.**

 **Shout out to TheGrandTootah for following! Thank you Chimera Spyke for reviewing! Please Review!**


	23. Days Away

9:29 Cloudreach 15th

I took Eren's advice and packed away for at least a week's worth of supplies. It took me four days to get to Denerim but I didn't care. If Eren was going to be like that then fine. I'd rather not be around him. I sighed as I got my pack and got out of my carriage. Denerim was actually nice during the springtime. I went and explored a little bit. The streets didn't change much.

People didn't even notice a woman in armor with unusual weapons. I looked around the marketplace but everything was way overprice. I shook my head as I saw Orlesian nobles and Ferelden nobles duke it out with their money. Rich people. I went through the marketplace and, when a kid bumped into me, I twisted their arms as they tried to steal my change pouch. They ran away and I didn't care. It wasn't my job to track him down.

I took the backstreets and ended up back at Thomas' herb shop. It looked the same as always. I entered and the door rang. There was a line with Thomas putting herbs in small pouches and a very familiar red head talking his ear off.

"And I told him right? 'Lift with your legs, not your back.' He didn't listen to me and now he's been put in bed rest for even trying to…" As he talked to Thomas, his head turned toward the door. I lightly waved. Rael was speechless.

"Thank Andraste, you got him to shut up." Thomas huffed, filling in the pouch of the last customer. They left and Rael still haven't moved.

"I'm guessing I'm interr-" I started before Rael slammed me in a bear hug.

"Andraste's flames! You're here! You're really here!" Rael laughed. I hugged him back.

"Yes I'm really here." I laughed. Rael let me go and looked me up and down.

"Wow, look at you. You're so much tanner and fit! Is that armor custom fitted?" Rael asked.

"It is actually." I giggled. Rael hugged me again and sniffed my collar.

"Oh I missed you." Rael mumbled into my collar. I giggled because it tickled so much.

"If you two would stop rutting at my door, I would appreciate it." Thomas barked. Rael let me go, his face as red as his hair.

"We are not doing that!" He squeaked. I laughed. "Anyway, we shouldn't be inside. It's a great day!" Rael grabbed my hand and he took me out.

"Hey wait Rael, I haven't even gotten a place to stay!" I laughed. Rael stopped and rubbed his face sheepishly.

"Oh of course. I'm sorry. I'm just so excited you're back! You didn't even mention it in your letters." Rael breathed out.

"How could I when this was shoved in my face?" I grumbled, remembering how Eren just told me to leave. Rael gave me a smile and tugged at my hand.

"Come, you might as well tell me all about it." Rael said. I nodded. I followed him back to the marketplace and toward the Alienage. I stopped at the gate and I gave him a questioning glance.

"It's alright. As long as I tell them you're my friend. You'll be fine." Rael chuckled. I trusted him but that didn't mean I wasn't uneasy. I followed him down a bridge that was the only thing connecting the Alienage to the main city. It was a little sad actually. I kept close to Rael as I watched how a few group of elves stared at us, mostly at me, with hate.

"You a shem lover now Rael?" One of them mentioned.

"She's one of my friends so you'd best respect her." Rael flicked an obscene gesture and took my hand in his. I hugged my pack closer to me. We went into one of the nearest shack of the Alienage. Rael opened it wide and it smelled like someone was cooking.

"Dad, I'm home!" Rael announced.

"About time you dragged your ass back here. I was thinking that I might as well serve your portion to the dogs since you were so…late…" Another redhead came around the corner where the rooms were located. Rael shut the door and I was face to face with Shianni. She glared at me and looked at Rael. "Ok, what the shit?"

"Shianni mind your language." His father came in. He looked old with wrinkles all over his face but there was a fire in those eyes. "I think you need to introduce your friend."

"Did Rael bring someone for dinner, that's rare." Another one came in, another confused face. He slightly resembled Rael if paler and skinnier.

"Ok, remember how I told all of you of that friend that sent me money? Oh don't think that's all I think you are mind you ok?" Rael turned to me really quickly, "You're actually really important for me not a sort of endless money pouch ok?" Rael rambled and looked at me. I shook my head and smiled.

"Rael." His father said sternly.

"Oh right, this is Nia an employee of the Couslands of Highever." Rael said proudly.

"I thought she was an elf not a shem." Shianni crossed her arms and glared.

"Shianni, it doesn't matter. My name is Cyrion. This is my niece Shianni and my nephew Soris. It is an honor to finally meet you." Cyrion took out his hand and I gave him a firm handshake.

"Thank you so much." I breathed out. Rael put his arm around me and smiled proudly.

"Oh wipe that smile off your face. We don't have enough food for her." Shianni scoffed and started to set up the table.

"I actually brought my own food. I'm always well prepared." I laughed sheepishly. Shianni gave me an annoyed look before sitting down.

"Please excuse my cousin. We've had a few incidents in the Alienage because of humans. I know you aren't the same. Our lives have become much better with the money you've sent." Soris explained.

"Soris stop ogling her and come sit down." Shianni said. Soris got red before Rael laughed and shoved me near the dinner table. He gave me a stool to sit on as I took out some bread. Cyrion still gave me some of the soup that Soris was working on. It was a really good simple vegetable soup actually. Shianni wolfed hers down and excused herself as soon as she could, slamming the door as she went out.

"She really doesn't like me does she?" I sighed. Cyrion laughed.

"As my nephew said, we've had incidents." Cyrion rubbed his chin and his face looked older.

"We've had riots and we've lost some elves thanks to them. The more we push, the harder they push back. I keep trying to keep the peace but no matter what I do, no one listens to me." Rael sighed.

"It's not your fault Rael as it wasn't your fault that your mother died." Cyrion explained, putting his hand on Rael's shoulder to calm him down. Rael pouted. It was cute.

"I'm sorry I can't help more." I said sincerely.

"Don't worry yourself about it. All we can do is endure. It is all what our people have done for centuries. I'm sorry we don't have room for you." Cyrion said.

"Oh don't worry about that. I can just get an inn somewhere in Denerim." I said, waving him off.

"Rael, she is your guest." Cyrion nodded. Rael nodded furiously and he led me out. It was already sundown when we got out of the Alienage. Rael had a skip in his step. We crossed the bridge and got back into the marketplace.

"I have a cheap inn near the main gates. Much better than Gnawed Noble Tavern. They are extremely overpriced. Never go there." Rael shook his head. I chuckled.

"I'll take your word on that." I said. As we walked on, I heard a few other footsteps right behind ours. I stood closer to Rael until I was able to grab his arm. He looked down at me and I shook my head. "We're being followed. Know a good way to shake them?" I asked. Rael gave me a mischievous grin before grabbing my hand and taking off on a sprint. With my training, it was easy to follow his pace.

"Get them!" I heard someone shout behind us. We ran through alleys, jumped over fences, and then Rael stopped suddenly behind an abandoned house. He put a hand on my mouth and stilled his breathing. I heard the footsteps keep running until their echoes were gone. He took off his hand and I breathed out.

"Sorry about that." Rael leaned away. "I didn't mean to treat you so harshly." He apologized but I smiled and shook my head.

"I'm fine. Quick thinking but we should probably head out before they realize that they're not chasing us anymore." I said. Rael nodded and he quickly took me to the other inn. He was about to leave until I grabbed his shirt. "Nope, you're not going home. You'll get jumped if you go now." I said sternly.

"No, I'll be fine I swear." Rael chuckled sheepishly. I gave him a hard stare before dragging him in with me. I asked the proprietor and she told me 30 silvers for both of us. I put it down before getting the key and walking up the stairs. Rael looked at me and fidgeted with his clothes.

"Come on or I'm dragging you up here." I said sternly.

"Ah yes!" Rael came and followed me while I found the room and unlocked it. It was small but they had two separate single beds. There was the low candle light but since it was warm, I decided to not touch the fireplace. I sighed as I saw the armor stand. I took off my armor while Rael waited at the door. "Um I guess I should-"

"Head back out and I'll drag you back kicking and screaming." I looked at him as his hand was on the door. "I mean it." I glared. Rael nodded and sat down on a stool. I took off my hair tie, wrapping it around my wrist. My hair fell down in a cascade as it centered past my shoulders.

"You're hair has gotten long." Rael commented.

"Yeah." I sighed and ran my fingers through it. "I really need to cut it chin length or slightly longer. It's a pain taking care of long hair."

"I could cut it for you. I always do it for the kids in the Alienage." Rael suggested.

"Sure, but not now. If I cut it before going to sleep it's going to itch everywhere tomorrow." I said as I started to take off my armor. Rael stood up and looked in awe at it.

"Can I touch it?" He asked with wide eyes.

"Sure, it's a bit heavy." I said, grabbing a glove and handing it to him. He didn't have too much trouble lifting it.

"It has weight to it." Rael mumbled while poking my chestplate and chainmail.

"Oh trust me it does. I had to walk, run, then sprint with this on. Don't get me started on the things Eren had me train in." I sighed heavily, taking off my boots, knee, shin guards, and socks.

"It must have been rough since your muscles are popping out." Rael chuckled. I poked at my bulging muscles. Rael lifted his shirt and showed that his were bigger.

"Show off." I mumbled.

"So…I'm really staying here?" Rael said tentatively, putting my glove away and playing with his fingers.

"I'm not letting you get beat up just because you're an elf. Now, do whatever you do before bed that gets you comfortable and let's get some sleep." I said. I blew out the few candles that were near me and settled in. Rael gave out an aggravated sigh before I heard the rustling of clothes. I heard him blow out his own candles and the room was dark. Once my eyes got used to the darkness, the light of the moon came through.

I took that time to take off my bra and my pants underneath my covers. I couldn't sleep with them on. Well I could but it was too uncomfortable. As I did that, I heard Rael sighed.

"I…you're still awake right?" Rael asked. I chuckled.

"I don't sleep instantaneously." As I did a quiet victory taking off my clothes. I put my bra under the pillow and pushed my pants on the floor.

"You know after all this time…I'm really glad you came into my life." Rael confessed quietly. I turned over to his side and saw that he was already looking at my own bed. His face turned red and he quickly put the covers over his face. "Because, you know, I've never really had a close friend like you. Well there are my cousins and all the people in the Alienage but it's different with you. Maybe it's because you're human. No wait, that doesn't sound right. It's because you're a girl that isn't my cousin? No, not that either! It's, well…"

"It's ok Rael." I laughed. "I'm glad you're my friend too…It's been…hard kinda." I did a long sigh and laid back, staring at the ceiling.

"Did something happen? If that ass did something to you-" He got up.

"I'll punt him in the balls, no nothing like that happened." I interrupted him and I heard him lay down again. I tried to find the words to explain it to him. I fidgeted with my fingers. It was a hard thing to confess.

"Nia…?" Rael asked quietly. I felt a few tears escape my eyes. I kept on breathing deeply, trying to make sure not to sob. I bit my lip, trying to control my emotions. I sniffled a little. "Nia?" Rael asked more urgently.

"I killed a man." I covered my face in shame. I sobbed quietly, sniffling and wiping my tears. "I didn't mean to but…" I moaned slightly and turned in my bed, gripping the covers. "We were outnumbered and these men were aiming to kill us. I…Eren yelled and I didn't realize it until the blood…." My sentences came out incoherently as I tried to explain it but I was so scared at losing Rael. I let out a shuddering breath and heard his bed creak. My own bed shifted as I saw that he sat on it. I felt cold, thinking that he was going to judge me before he placed a hand on my shoulder.

"You didn't mean it. Even I can tell that so stop beating yourself up about it. It's only going to make you feel worse." Rael said softly. I went up to grab his hand and intertwined his fingers with my own.

"Sorry but can I be selfish?" I sniffled.

"Sure, anything." Rael nodded.

"Can you lay down with me please?" I asked. Rael gulped but nodded. It was a tight fit but I snuggled into him, holding his arm to my chest.. He seemed oddly tense. It wasn't right though. He was hard since he was all muscle. My husband was more plush. I sighed in disappointment. "I really wish I could go see my family." Instantly, Rael relaxed.

"Oh yeah…you haven't gone to see them huh?" Rael quietly asked.

"No." I replied.

"Your husband must be missing you. Don't you have enough for a ship? You should at least make that brat do that much for you." Rael grumbled. I chuckled softly.

"I can't. I promise to protect Eren even if he did tell me to stay away." I sighed.

"Then why are you still there?" Rael asked.

Because Eren might be the next Grey Warden and he'll need help and lead me to Flemeth who can hopefully solve my problem, I thought. I smelled deeply and he smelled like the sea. So much different from Eren as his odd sweet musky scent.

"Because I made a promise and I won't leave until I see it through." I replied quietly.

"You should at least let your family know." Rael said. I nodded but didn't respond. In the end I fell asleep like that, wishing that it was my husband next to me instead of Rael.

* * *

 **My most wondeful beta, FearaNightmare!**

 **I'm not one for writing fluff but I couldn't help it. Rael is such a dear and so cute! Also, I have now reached the blight! Muhahah!**

 **Shout out to Triple T123, for favoriting/following! Thank you Chimera Spyke, Syutaku, and ThelonewolfNT for reviewing! Please Review!**


	24. Coming Home

9:29 Cloudreach 18th

After that day at the inn, Rael has been showing me all the sights and sounds of Denerim with a little of the country side added. I think he was trying to cheer me up when I opened up and told him that I killed a man. I've laughed more in these three days than in the year that I've been up in Highever. He showed me where the Royal Castle was, that the big tall tower off in the distance is Fort Drakon, and that the Pearl is actually nice.

No I didn't go in there for too long. They started to talk about us so we left in a hurry. All in all, I've never realized how huge Denerim was! It took hours trying to walk everywhere and it wasn't all just homes. There were various shops that I couldn't even find in game and they sold everything.

There are nice neighborhoods but those are in the noble's district. Everything between the Royal Palace and the Arl of Denerim's estate were all noble estates. We saw all of that on top of a rooftop. Rael wasn't allowed to go there unless he was a servant.

We talked about everything and nothing. There were all random conversations. It was never as heavy as the first day. Rael was extremely curious of my family. I tried to tell him everything. He had a small smile just listening to me.

I was even able to protect him when we couldn't merely run away. We were cornered by one guy behind us and two guys in front of us in a small alley. Rael's smiling face went away and got serious when they took out their daggers.

"We're only asking for a small donation to our funds." The main guy said in front of me. I was worried about Rael since he didn't have any weapon while I still had my medium armor and my daggers. I have only been in a few scuffles and that demon since I killed a man. That anxiety was still there but all I had to focus on was knocking them out. That's why I had these knuckles.

"Nia…" Rael stood closer to me.

"Looks like we can't avoid this." I nodded. I took a breath and went into a dead spring, tackling the leader while the other two looked dumbfounded for a second before readying themselves. Rael had a hard time evading in such a small space.

I pushed the leader against the wall before uppercutting him and he fell to the ground. I turned only to catch the other guy's daggers in my own. There was one place I saw that wasn't protected and I quickly kneed him in the balls. He groaned in pain and automatically keeled over to grab them. I hit him on the back of the head and he fell too. I saw that Rael managed to rob the other attacker's dagger but had no real training and wasn't doing anything other than evading.

He tried to stab but the guy grabbed his arm and head butted Rael. He stumbled back and he went in for the kill. Not on my watch. I tackled him as well and down to the ground we went. I immediately pulled my right arm and put my strength in it. I socked him right across the jaw. He spat out blood before I got up and did a hammer kick on his lower abdomen. Right in the bread basket. He started to violently cough and I grabbed Rael to make a run for it.

We ran all the way to the gates of the Alienage. The guard looked at us with mild annoyance as Rael tried not to throw up from the amount of running and I panted heavily, trying to catch my breath. We both looked at each other and started to laugh before he started to cough again. I rubbed his back until he stopped.

"Wow, Andraste's breeches that was the most amazing thing I've ever seen!" Rael laughed and grabbed my shoulders. "You, my good woman, are my hero." He chuckled sheepishly. I ruffled his hair and laughed.

"I'm no hero Rael, just someone that can fight really good." I shrugged. Rael hugged me before we went into the Alienage and we had dinner. Shianni still had her pouty face but Cyrion and Soris ate up the few stories I had from working the guard.

I kept on repeating Rael's words in my head. I'm not much of a hero. Hell, I'm not even the main character but I can try to do good while I'm here. That, at least, should be worth something.

9:29 Cloudreach 21st

It was only a week but man how time flies. I really loved staying with Rael and his family but I couldn't stay forever. I put up my pack, carried it out of my room, and out of the inn. I gave my final pay to the innkeeper and went out. Rael was waiting for me by the doors. I love how he always wore the deep greens. The color always brought out his eyes.

"Do you really have to go? I hear they have openings in the Denerim guard." Rael looked hopeful, stuffing his hands in his pockets and looking away sheepishly. I sighed, smiled, and shook my head.

"You know I can't. Besides, this was an impromptu vacation. I never wanted to take it but Eren said leave for a week or a month. A month would be too long and I'm running out of the coin that I took with me." I tugged at his sleeve. "Sorry Rael but I have to go." He pouted and nodded.

"Then let's go over to the carriages." Rael said defeated.

"Oh come on, don't hang your ears low. You know I'll keep writing letters." I assured him.

"It's not the same as having you here…" He mumbled. I sighed. There was nothing I could say to make him happy so we spent our final walk filled with silence. There were a few times when I saw him look at me but whenever I caught his eyes, he'd look away. The smell hit me sooner than the sight. Too bad I couldn't ride a horse.

"Where you riding to?" One of the riders asked.

"I was wondering if I can take a carriage up to Highever." I asked.

"3 sovs for the both of you." He gruffily said.

"Oh. I'm not going with her." Rael shook his head. The guy huffed.

"A sov and 15 silvers." He replied. I gave him the money and Rael wilted.

"So you'll come back one day right?" He asked softly.

"I will." I nodded. Rael wiped a few stray tears before giving me a bear hug. I patted his back. I slipped in a letter into his pocket. He looked at me confused but I put a finger to my lips. "Don't read it until you get home and don't show anyone the contents." I whispered. Rael nodded. I threw my pack in the seat and Rael grabbed my wrist.

"I…" He bit his lip, wanting to say something before letting me go. "Have a safe trip and don't let that bastard push you around anymore." He smiled. It was forced. I ruffled his hair once more and his smile dropped.

"I won't. Stay safe Rael." I said and he nodded. I went into the back seat and closed it. I looked out the window and saw, surprisingly, a dwarf handling the horse. You didn't see that every day. Eventually the carriage started to move and I saw Rael stand there watching me leave just like the first time. He waved goodbye until we were out and toward Highever. I sat back in my seat.

This was good. It really brightened up my mood. I almost considered staying but I said I was going to make sure Eren survives. I can't do that unless I'm there with him. I hope that his sour mood finally went away.

9:29 Cloudreach 22nd

The ride was managed in one day thanks to clear roads and a really good horse. Not only that, having only one passenger made the horse go longer without wearing out. We only have to stop for the night and keep on going until I saw the outskirts of the city. I paid the man something extra and went on toward where Eren would be at the time of day.

I could breathe easy in this city. It wasn't like Denerim where I had to keep an eye on nearly every corner. I walked past the marketplace, still keeping an eye on my pack. Thieves would try anything and I still have to keep being careful.

I walked past toward the guard barracks. Of course Eren doesn't stay there but he would be gathering his paperwork around mid-afternoon. I said hi to a few guards I recognized before going in and going past the barracks toward the captain's room. It was unexpectedly messy with Eren at his never used desk. He was mumbling to himself until I knocked the door. He looked up and then did a double take before rising up, the chair falling to the ground. I imagined the cricket chirping.

"Uh, hey." I started off. Eren gave me a deep scowl before grabbing me and pushing me into the room. He slammed the door and locked it. He turned around and glared at me. I pushed down my inner fear and got ready for the shout.

"Where. Were. You?" His deep voice reverberated throughout the room. I got caught by surprise that he didn't start yelling at me.

"Well…you said to take a week or a month off. You pushed me away so I decided to take that and go to Denerim for a change of pace." I shrugged. Eren put his hand to his face and let out a deep sigh. He then started to laugh until it got louder.

"Denerim…" He calmed down and cleared his throat. Now that I noticed it, he was also very scruffy. "Denerim!? You went away for more than a week!" He snapped, going to his desk and gathering his papers in a crazed frenzy. I stood at the wall just watching him.

"Well I can't really trust the carriages to get me here so fast." I said. And this is why I wished I had a car, I thought. Eren slammed his fist on the table.

"And who told you to go away for such a time!?" He shouted. That was what I was expecting.

"You did! Don't you remember when you told me to just go? Even when I said I needed to stay and be your bodyguard you told me, 'Not anymore' and told me to leave!" I shouted back. Eren growled and slammed both of his hands on the wall. I was in between them. Truthfully, I was really scared at this moment but I wasn't going to show that to Eren.

"Don't you realize when you take a joke too far?" Eren stared down with those icy blue eyes. I got heated.

"Really!? That was a frigging joke!? 'Oh hey I don't need you anymore so get out of here?' That's your idea of a joke!" I yelled to his face. His glare only got worse. "I should say the same thing Eren, don't take your jokes so far." I spat back with a dark smirk.

"I didn't…!" Eren gritted his teeth and looked down. His bangs were hanging low. He really was scruffy besides his mustache and goatee. Not only that, taking a look around the room, I noticed that his usual meticulous room was all over the place. "I didn't mean to drive you away…" He whispered harshly. "I just…needed time."

"Time for what Eren?" I wondered. He didn't say anything. Just hung his head low and his hands slipped down from the sides of my head and to my shoulders. He didn't look at me and it made me really uncomfortable seeing him this defeated. He was always so cocky, so sure, so…bright. Now, he looked like a regular person suffering defeat. It…didn't seem right. He looked up and stared at me. His glare was gone and instead there was an indecipherable look to his eyes. It looked almost hungry. I looked away.

"You were gone and I didn't even know what to do with myself." Eren confessed and slipped away from me. His feet banged the floor as if they weighed so heavy before he pulled his chair up from the ground and dumped his body on it. He stared at the ceiling. He sighed and rubbed his face. "For some odd reason, I expected the worse. I thought something had happened to you but I soon learned that a rider took you away. I thought that I had finally driven you off…and I realized that I made the worst mistake of my life." My eyes went bug eyed.

"You aren't feeling that well are you?" I snorted. He sat up straight and stared at me again.

"As much as I wish I was joking…" He looked away and rubbed his neck. "I'm not. I have never realized how much I devoted my time to you. I woke up and immediately went to your room only to find you not there. After the third day and hearing the news that you had left Highever there was…nothing but regret." He sighed. I gulped as I accepted his confession. I got up from where I was leaning and walked toward him. He looked up at my face and I hesitantly patted his head. His eyes closed as I ran my fingers through his hair.

It was oily like he hasn't washed it and the circles under his eyes were more pronounced. I didn't want to think that he was worried about me all this time but he just said that. He sighed in relief and relaxed to my touch. I ran both of my hands through his head and he hung his head low.

"I'm sorry…" I mumbled. "I should have left you a note." I sighed. He shook his head.

"I should not have lashed out at you. I was…confused." He said while I scratched his scalp. He let a small moan. "But I have reviewed my…well…I know now and I won't let it get passed me." He took my hands off his head and stood up. Sometimes I forget how tall Eren was. He put his entire hand on my face.

"Hey!" I struggled before I felt something soft press against my temple before I threw off his hand. Eren smirked at me.

"Still this only means that you cannot resist me." Eren laughed haughtily. I gave him a deadpanned look before laughing. This was familiar to me. This I can handle. Eren smirked at me.

"Yeah sure Eren. I want you all to myself." I rolled my eyes in sarcasm.

"I knew it." Eren flicked my forehead. I stuck my tongue at him. "But since you are back now…I want you to collect all these papers into their right bins and this floor to be flawless by the time I get back from my rotation." Eren demanded. My pack fell on the floor.

"Oh come on! Give me a break!" I groaned.

"I have! You should be well rested by now, ha!" Eren laughed before strutting out of the door and shutting it. I growled and kicked the desk. "And don't break anything!" I heard through the door. I pouted before shrugging and accepting it. I rubbed the place where I felt something soft.

I thought it could have been…No. Eren didn't see me that way. I laughed at the possibility of it before starting to clean. The vacation was done. It was time to work again.

* * *

 **Beta'd by the stunning FearaNightmare, love ya!**

 **I love Rael. I kinda wished this was third POV if only to write him sulking in his home after Nia went back and Shianni kicking his ass. Truthfully I love him so much I was thinking of making him into a Grey Warden in a separate fic though that would be up to you guys.**

 **Thank you Chimera Spyke and Syutaku for reviewing! Please Review!**


	25. On Our Way

9:29 Justinian 18th

"Ugh this sweltering heat is maddening." Eren laid on the beach. I came back from the sea with Alfred to find him under the shade of a tree. I panted while Alfred pounced on him, knocking out Eren's breath. "Alfred, heel!"

"Oh come on Eren. You said you wanted a day off and I suggested the beach. The least you could do is actually get up and get some sun. You're frigging pale." I sighed. Eren scowled.

"And how do you expect me to have some fun when you're trotting around half-naked!" Eren pointed at me. I looked at my attire that consisted of a sleeveless tunic and some comfortable shorts that I made myself.

"I'm not half naked. I'm reasonably clothed in my opinion." I shrugged. Eren scoffed and laid back down.

"Why do I ever listen to you?" Eren moaned.

"Because you love me." I said flatly. "Come on Alfred, leave your master to roast in his own juices while we go off and have some fun. I'll toss you a stick." I offered. Alfred barked and followed me back to the coast. Alfred and I played together on the beach while Eren was still sulking around. I was surprised when he took up my offer to go to the beach. It was a rest day for both of us.

Eventually Alfred went off to take a nap by Eren and I stayed close, picking up seashells and pretty stones. The waves were very calm but the water was extremely cold. I stayed in the shallows, trying to find whatever I could find. I stood up and looked how the sun was shining in the waves of the sea. I took a deep breath and relished the salty air.

It was amazing to see the deep blueish green water, unsoiled by human footprints. I sat in the water and felt the weird sensation of the water pulling me in. My face was burning unfortunately. I knew I was going to be peeling some skin tomorrow but for now I relaxed. I was so relaxed, I started to sing. Being near the water always made me happy.

I got heated and happy. I stood up and started to sing at the top of my lungs. All the songs I remembered, some sad, some happy, some that were all over the place. Eventually Alfred danced around my legs and I stopped. I had enough fun and Eren stared at me.

"What was that for? It sounded like a dying chicken." Eren said and I flicked sand at him.

"I was happy. Come on, let's go back." I said. Eren got up from his shady tree and stretched. "Hey Eren, I was wondering something."

"Oh you have a thought? Ring the Chantry bells…" He chuckled. I stomped on his foot and he grunted in pain.

"You spend so much time with me and work but I never see you with friends. Do you have them?" I wondered as I took off as much sand as I could and put on my boots.

"I have no need of them. They tend to use me for my money and status anyway. There's no point." Eren shrugged.

"That…is kind of sad." I mumbled.

"It's a natural occurrence. I wouldn't be surprised if you did it as well if you weren't forced in this position." Eren said and I punched him in the gut.

"I would never use someone like that." I said lowly. Eren glared at me and I glared back. "Sheesh, I thought you knew me more than that."

"I know that you are a violent, emotional, and stubborn woman." Eren slapped the back of my head while leading us back on the path to the castle.

"I'm not just that." I mumbled, rubbing the back of my head.

"Is there anything else you have shown me that makes me think otherwise?" Eren looked back at me. Now that I thought about it, there really wasn't much that I showed him. None of my favorite things were here except I was in my favorite thing, or now place. "Just know this; you are my confidant and my most trusted friend. There's no one else I can have at my side." Eren said seriously. I got a goofy smile on my face.

"Thanks Eren. That means a lot." I giggled. Eren huffed.

"Now let's go back home. I'd rather get out of the sun." Eren nodded. Alfred barked.

"Yes."

9:29 Solace 8th

It was time. Eren and I walked through the city as we usually do. There was something off though. Eren was uncharacteristically distracted and I didn't know why. He had a very somber face and I wasn't sure why. It wasn't until I was sorting out his paperwork in his room when he sat down and sighed.

"So why the long face?" I asked. Eren gave me a glance before rubbing his face. I realized that whenever he did this, he was stressed. He sighed.

"There's no point in keeping this from you…" He mumbled. "You remember the reports of the attacks down in the Korcari Wilds?" He asked. I felt my stomach drop and nodded slowly. "It's darkspawn. They found them on the surface."

There it was. The truth of the matter and the thing that's going to dropkick Ferelden in its figurative face. I bit my lip. It was still too early for the blight to begin but seeing a few darkspawn doesn't mean Blight automatically. Still I already knew what's going to be happening.

"But it's just a few attacks right?" I wondered. Eren leaned back in his seat.

"For now but darkspawn haven't been seen on the surface for the past 400 years. Many think that the Blight will never happen again. My father said that the few Grey Wardens of Ferelden are already investigating it. I pray for all our sakes that this is merely something abnormal and not a precursor to something worse." Eren cringed.

I remember reading the diary of a Grey Warden who fought in the fourth Blight. How her brother was about to sacrifice himself to kill the Archdemon and the blood magic that killed the remaining griffons. The blight wasn't pretty and, with Eren around, I was going to witness it firsthand. It wasn't something I was looking forward to.

"Eren, what are you going to do if it is a Blight?" I asked, putting all his papers away. Eren stroked his goatee and thought.

"Do whatever it takes to stop it. There isn't much information on the Blight or Darkspawn themselves. That is taken care of by Grey Wardens but, what I do understand, it's going to take the collective effort of the entire country itself. We can't always rely on Grey Wardens, especially what with the coup they tried to do and all…" Eren shook his head.

"Grey Wardens are heroes though right?" I tried to perk him up. Eren scoffed.

"Please. Grey Wardens are a mishmash of thieves, barbarians, and murderers. There's nothing good in there. They only come during the worst of times and then call themselves heroes." Eren rolled his eyes. That made me wilt a bit. Even when Inquisition time rolled around, I still found myself a staunch support of Grey Wardens. No matter what, through all my playthroughs, I loved being a Grey Warden. "Either way, all we can do is wait and don't panic." Eren continued. I put the paperwork in front of him.

"I'm going to my room. You can handle reading and writing your signature right?" I chuckled.

"Yes. You can leave now." Eren said gruffly. I nodded and went back to my room. I knew what was coming but a low person who was only as a bodyguard can't notify the king of the upcoming disaster. Not only that, Cailan isn't much of a king, but would jump at the chance to fight an Archdemon. Loghain wasn't kidding when he was a child playing war.

Even if I was able to convince some people; unless I convince the people in power, there would be no point in trying. Most likely everyone would only take me as a rambling mad woman. There was no way out and nothing I could do. If there's one thing I hate, it's being useless. That's all I can do now right? Just ramble in this stupid little diary about things I can't even change while people will die!

I hate it. I hate this and I hate myself for not even having the power to change it.

9:29 August 9th

There's been more darkspawn attacks recently. The farmers around the surrounding area are frightened and Bann Wulff, who's in charge of those lands, is trying to make sure no one was panicking. Apparently we've already had a few Grey Wardens look over the area. I'm pretty sure Duncan was a part of their group. They won't tell anything to the populace besides that there is a crack in the earth and darkspawn are coming out. No more, no less.

Of course that's complete bullshit. Duncan would have sensed it but we can't have the country go into full blown panic. That won't happen for another year now anyway. Besides that, I got problems on my end too.

I was in the fade. Halo and I were traversing my old memories again, this time of my childhood home. Halo can only make a secure place for me every once in a while. As such, he's on high alert. I understood but at the same time, paranoia will only make things worse.

"Halo, you really need to learn how to relax. You're being too tense. Things will get worse unless you get used to the fade." I kicked some gravel in front of me. It floated for a second before it came down. Halo pouted.

'Not safe. Demons.' Halo replied.

"Demons will only come because you expect them to come. Come here Halo." I said, reaching out my hand. Halo grew smaller to fit in my hand. "Look at the landscape Halo. The fade took my memories and shaped it. The reason why it's so stable every single time we come here is because I'm open minded about all of it. I go with the flow, it's how I am." I shrugged. "Just relax" Halo settled into my hand.

'I will try.' Halo mumbled. I nodded and continued past the reservoir and into the old city.

"I'm surprised! Wow, a human with such a deep knowledge of the fade!" I quickly turned around from the way I came from and Halo immediately came in front of me. I sighed in aggravation and pulled him on my shoulder. A young looking mage with ashy brown hair and well looking robes sauntered over me.

"I'm guessing you're a spirit then?" I asked. He snapped his fingers.

"Exactly. I have never seen someone with your mind and with a strong spirit next to you!" He laughed. Out of all the ones I've met, this one was like Ardor very humanlike. "Now how did you control it? Well I guess not really control it. Protection protects but usually they are small things not this towering behemoth before me." He crossed his arms and gave me a confused looked. I looked at the tiny Halo perched on my shoulder.

"Behemoth?" I wonder.

'Don't listen.' Halo said. The spirit tsked.

"You see this is the behavior that makes us stupid and ugly. Don't try to feed nonsense into this smart girl's head." The spirit came closer.

"Oh thank you." I nodded.

"You're welcome. So you are the irregularity? How interesting. You know it's really hard to pin point your location since that one keeps on moving in the fade." It pointed at Halo. Halo glared at him.

"I'm confused, irregularity? I heard something else call me that." I asked. He stepped on the road and knocked the wall of another house before measuring a wire fence.

"Oh sorry. For the fade naturally housing beings made of figurative ideas, they sure love to gossip. You, my dear, are the subject of many of their thoughts. The fade suddenly being ripped, a hole the size of this height and size." He pointed at a door. "Then you coming in with that along with you." He pointed at Halo. "Not only that, finding you traversing the fade with absolute no magical talent…You, my dear, are what we call an impossibility, an irregularity. Something that can't and should not exist in any shape or form."

"…That's concerning." I gulped.

"Oh not at all. You see, you have an exceptional talent of moving in the fade and remembering as well. I don't know where you got your information but it's very spot on in how to deal with folks like us." The mage leaned against a wall not even three steps away from where I was standing. Halo started to bristle but I patted him to calm him down.

"They're just things I read up really. Nothing special." I shrugged, patting Halo that settled into my hand.

"But you are special and, uh pup!" I was going to say no but he did a shushing motion. "Now, now. You really need to learn how to take a compliment. You have much knowledge not of your own but of this one. I can see it in you! The way you carry yourself and explore this world is so much more different than anyone else." He laughed and sat down on a stone fence. "Where did you get this knowledge?"

"Like I said, I read." I said. He laughed.

"Well whatever you read it led you to too much information. I could also grant you more knowledge, something that will keep pesky demons away from you." He offered. That sent up warning signs in my head.

"No. I think I'm good but thank you for the offer." I declined. There was a spark in his eyes before he laughed.

"You…are much more cunning than you appear. I enjoyed this game. Perhaps this might be the last time we ever speak to each other. The fade is a grand place and since that one keeps moving, I will say my farewells. Do take care though. There are others not as benevolent as I am." He said, about to leave. "OH! And if you are looking for purpose then you should stay where you are. You have a destiny, I assure you. Follow your road and you will find what you seek." He looked back and nodded toward me. Halo was confused considering that he gave us a pile of information without seeking anything. Besides offering me knowledge, but nothing comes without a price. Halo looked at me and I smirked.

"You see? A clear mind does a lot." After I said that, I woke up. I rubbed my face in my pillow. The only downside to the dreams? I feel like I've been awake all night. "Ugh…a few more hours please…" I moaned but the things the spirit told me rang in my head. A destiny? Me? I'm just a simple cook and wife that found herself stuck in a place against her will.

Find what I seek? I already knew that staying with Eren was the best course but now I'm certain. I need to stay with him. I need to find the Grey Wardens and then get to Flemeth. At this point, it's a waiting game…God, I hate waiting.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare!**

 **Do you feel it coming? I sure do. The darkspawn! The Blight! :D**

 **Shout out to Warden Anders, Narliea (welcome back!), and Golderik for favoriting/following!**

 **Chimera Spyke:** _Nah, Eren is too controlled for that to happen. Love your continued support!_  
 **Kansara:** _Yes there will be multiple wardens :3  
_ **Syutaku:** _I'm glad you liked his turmoil. I also love your support :3  
_ **HellaRose:** _I'm glad to see you back and enjoying the rewrite!  
_ **Narliea:** _Welcome back! And I hope you liked my response!_

 **Please review!**


	26. Getting Ready

9:29 Kingsway 13th

Do, do, do, do, DO! Boom, two years. A full two years. I forgot to celebrate last month. Maybe I should have gotten myself a cake or something? Anyway, I'm a little tipsy right now. I had four shots of something. Eren offered it to me. Apparently today is his birthday and only now has he actually trusted me enough to tell me.

And there was a huge party in the barracks. It was so strange to see all of those stone hard guards laughing and soaking themselves with cheap ale and beer. Apparently there's a difference. I was watching it all as everyone shared stories and kept on doing their guy antics to Eren. I was leaning on the office door. I didn't want to get involved. It started to resemble the household when all my dude cousins got together and wrestled and insulted each other.

Instead I was invited to the table that had all the female guards. I wasn't the only one of course. There were humans and elven women in a table that was separated from Eren and his pack. At first they hated me. Thought of me as a sort of pet's project of Eren that he was going to toss aside. Considering I have fought before, no I haven't killed anyone else, I earned their respect.

"Look at them, they're like monkeys." Lisa said. Red head, always in a bun, had permanent angry wrinkles.

"At least they're having fun." Kellah said. Elf, blond hair, short, looks caring but is the most sadistic.

"Captain is a year older, give him some space." Ella said. Long brown hair, pretty, rumor was she slept with Eren for this position.

"So what's been going on with you and the Captain?" Lisa asked. I shrugged and took a sip out of my fruit wine.

"Nothing why? It's been business as usual." I said. Ella snorted.

"Business? Sure if you can call your ass business." Ella scoffed. I glared at her.

"Oh hey, hey. We're not here to call you names. We only want to know what's up. The Captain has been different as of late." Lisa explained. I gave her a deadpanned look.

"We're serious he's been…I'm not sure. Focused? Nicer? It's hard to explain but my woman intuition tells me it has something to do with you." Kellah motioned her head towards me. I rolled my eyes.

"I have nothing to do with it. Truthfully it's because he has something he really likes. Don't know who it is though." I sipped.

"He does?!" Ella sat closer to me. Lisa laughed boisterously.

"About time he got grounded!" Lisa smacked the table.

"Do you know who it is?" Kellah looked up at me. I felt uncomfortable.

"No, I keep trying to make him tell me but he's adamant on keeping her secret." I pouted over my cup. Ella seem to stare off in the distance when I said that.

"Well there's goes our best gossip of the Captain. Though I heard that Jeffery is mean in the-" Lisa started before Eren slammed his hand on the table and laughed in my ear.

"Ladies, I'm very sorry but I must take my lovely bodyguard away." Eren said before hauling me out of the chair and out of the barracks. He put his arm around me and burped. I did a disgusted snort as his breath smelled like alcohol.

"Ugh, can you not?" I waved in his face. Eren laughed.

"Oh you wouldn't understand. I am now, what was it again?" Eren stumbled around. I was practically carrying him at this point. "Oh yes, 24!"

"Lovely." I said with a flat voice.

"How old are you anyway? Your face looks so clean! You look 20!" Eren snorted.

"You just turned 24?" I wondered. He nodded vigorously. "Then I'm older than you. I'm going to be 25 this Firstfall."

"Andraste's knickers, seriously? Wooow." Eren chuckled. I rolled my eyes.

"You are drunk." I stated.

"Yes but it is a good one!" Eren stumbled again and I nearly lost my handle on him. "Oh try this!" Eren held a small pouch flask. I gave him an eye. "I swear I'm not trying to poison you…much."

"Sure." I took a sip. It burned my nose and my throat…and left a nice smoky cinnamon aftertaste. Then Eren kept on giving me more sips and now I'm in my room. I haven't been tipsy in a while. Ah well, sleep time then.

9:29 Harvestmere 19th

I can't believe it but it's happening. We were in the barracks at Eren's office. As I took a few reports to take to the castle, Eren was furiously going over ranks and the numbers of guards that we had. I was a little curious as to what he was doing but I didn't ask. It was Eren's business not mine. Eren sighed and rubbed his face.

"I know you're staring at me." Eren said, dropping his quill.

"Didn't think you'd notice." I chuckled lightly. Eren leaned his back against the chair before sighing. He leaned against his desk and rubbed his face again.

"It's best to tell you now except later…" Eren mumbled. I raised my eyebrow. "The King has ordered all cities to gather soldiers for the Royal Army. We're going to attack the darkspawn encampment on the edge of the Korcari Wilds." Eren confessed. I dropped my papers.

"What?" I said breathlessly.

"The darkspawn have only increased in number ever since we discovered them a few months ago. The Grey Wardens have already given the king the report that this might be a precursor to a Blight. There's a draft to send able bodied men but, in order not to panic the citizens, we're going through guards first. The real draft will begin later on." Eren explained, getting out of his seat and giving me the papers.

"Eren, what's your father going to do?" I asked.

"We will send our soldiers and fight." Eren nodded, giving me all the papers I dropped. I bit my lip while bringing the papers closer to my chest.

"And you?" I wondered. Eren gave me a soft sigh and then ruffled my hair.

"Most likely my father and brother will end up going to the front lines. We need an heir for the castle…I will still pray for their wellbeing though." Eren whispered the last part. I nodded and we went out of the barracks. There was notice at the rotation and the guards were mumbling to each other. Blight. Darkspawn. War.

It was starting and a knot was forming in my stomach. If the Blight was coming then…I started to think of the massacre. Eren walked ahead. He wouldn't listen and Bryce was best friends with the man that will eventually kill him. What could I do? Once I dropped off the papers for Eren, I went through all my steps again.

I went to the larder and retraced the servant's exit and entrance. I used the moonlight to track the path toward the city. I did this five times until I was satisfied that I was able to walk through in darkness. I went back to my room and got my pack. All the things that I stuffed in it a while ago were still in there. I made sure to get my own water skin and set aside money for food, shelter, as well as a carriage.

My hands were shaking. Damn, the letters are shaky too. Truthfully I've only been using this in order to deal with everything. I've always needed someone to vent to…but I can't. There are things that I know that no one will believe. The Blight. Kirkwall. Haven. Not to mention…

I have no one to turn to except myself…and that really scares me.

9:29 Firstfall 1st

I was out of it for Satinalia. The other citizens were as well. The draft was sounded last week and so those that wanted to be a part of the army could go. Of course it wouldn't go well. The first wave will kill off the army, Loghain will leave Cailan, and the Grey Wardens will…

"It seems that everything is quiet for this winter, isn't it?" Jeffery sighed next to me.

"What winter? It's still really warm." I commented. I didn't even need to take out my scarf at all.

"That's true isn't it?" Jeffery chuckled. "…I'm going to join to fight against the darkspawn." My eyes widened.

"You can't Jeffery!" I suddenly raised my voice. Jeffery looked shocked at my worried look before smiling softly.

"I want to. We've already won against Orlais, who says we can't win against darkspawn? It's not like it's a Blight." Jeffery reassured himself.

"But what if it was a Blight? What if an Archdemon-"

"The blight ended four hundred years ago!" Jeffery interrupted me. I got mad.

"You don't know that. Those darkspawn are still digging." I glared at him. Jeffery scoffed.

"Seems all those times reading stories with Eren got to you didn't they? Or were they more than stories?" Jeffery insinuated. That got my blood boiling. I crouched immediately and did a sweeping low kick. Jeffery fell hard, coughing out his breath. I did a sweeping axe kick to his chest while in my peripheral vision I saw other guards and Alfred barking at me.

"I have not once nor will ever sleep with Eren! He is a respectable man and I am his bodyguard! Don't you dare talk about me like that or you will wish you're fighting against an Archdemon instead of me!" I shouted.

"NIA!" Eren yelled. I glared at him and he at me. "Stand. Down." I huffed in anger and went to his side. Another guard helped Jeffery to his feet and the people that were celebrating around us had left. "What happened here?"

"She's mad Captain! Talking about the Blight and an Archdemon." Jeffery glared at me.

"I was only talking about the possibility then you had to assume and me and Eren are sleeping together!" I took an angry step forward but Eren pulled me back. Eren stood at full height, still a few inches taller than Jeffery.

"Is that true guardsman? Were you spouting gossip?" Eren glared at him with his icy blue eyes. Jeffery looked down sheepishly. Eren nodded to the other guards to leave us alone. "You'll be on gate duty for the next three nights, understood?"

"Y-Yes Captain." Jeffery agreed.

"And as for you…" Eren glared at me. I looked away more so out of the fact that I knew I went too far. "I'm adding twenty laps more to your mornings as well as weights." I gritted my teeth. "Come." I looked down as we headed toward the castle but, of course, Eren took a detour toward the hill.

"Am I doing those laps now, Captain?" I looked at his back. Eren took off his shield and brandished his sword. I immediately went into a defensive position from all the times we fought together.

"Good. Your responsive time is better than when we first started. Your real punishment begins here. Win and you won't have to do those laps." Eren smirked. I took out my daggers and got into a boxer's position, hands in front, bent knees to an almost crouch. "Good, you don't have much open spots." Eren said circling me. I made sure to keep him in sight. Even with his heavy armor, shield, and weapon, Eren was quick to charge. "I have to say, I'm proud of what you've become." Eren charged in for a shield bash.

I quickly used my quick footedness to turn into his back and did a spinning kick into it. Normally, that would make someone trip and fall on their face but Eren rooted himself and turned his shield into me. It got into my left shoulder and I rolled down the hill. Using the momentum, I was able to crouch and get back on my feet. Eren quickly followed me down the hill and jumped with his sword. I rolled out of the way but Eren kept on slashing. I avoided where I could, caught the blade with my daggers when I could, and made sure to observe the ground to stay upright.

I could see why Eren had a proud smirk as we fought. I couldn't even imagine myself being in this situation two years ago. All those hours, days, months. Constant training every single day and night. To finally be able to fight against a pro like Eren. He got me in the face again with his shield but I always noticed that Eren's weak points were his knees. I side stepped a slashed and kicked his left knee. He groaned and crouched for an instant. It was in that instant that I put my dagger to his neck. My nose was bleeding and I panted heavily. Eren nodded and I put away my daggers.

"Good show. It's what you're going to need if we move out." Eren said, putting his things away.

"Move out?" I wondered, wiping my nose. Eren gave me a grim smirk.

"If what you say is true…that there is an Archdemon waiting for us…This entire country needs to be ready." Eren nodded. He looked toward the castle. "We will need to do our best to protect what is dear to us."

"We?" I chuckled. Eren started at me.

"I can't think of anyone else at my side." Eren said softly. I bit my lip and looked down.

"So you don't think I'm crazy when I said there might be one?" I asked.

"Not if it's you telling me." Eren said seriously. I did a sigh of relief.

"Glad to see I'm not crazy or crazier than usual." I chuckled, wiping off some of the dried blood from my face.

"Oh no you are insane but I'd rather you be than normal." Eren confessed and chuckled lightly. "But we've wasted enough time. We need to go train or soldiers. We don't know when the King might need them to march." Eren walked toward the castle and I followed.

It was time. The Blight is coming. It will spare no man. I gritted my teeth and formed a fist. Howe will be coming. I stared intently at Eren's back. I will do everything in my power to protect his family. Everything.

* * *

 **Beta'd by the stunning FearaNightmare! Who always knows to put me in my place. Can't ask for a better person.**

 **Shout out to Artorious J for following!**

 **HollySutterlin:** _I'm not one for spoilers but yes she does meet him. How, when, and why? I can't answer that :3_  
 **Chimera Spyke:** _It's the one thing that I regretted from the first one that I wrote, especially since Halo becomes a really important later on. Keep an eye on Halo, we're going to see some changes.  
_ **Narliea:** _lol unfortunately Rael is only a minor character. If I ever did write him, it would be his own story apart from this one. He will meet her again, later on in Denerim.  
_ **txchimama:** _What my story be canon? That would be awesome lol_

 **Thank you Syutaku, thelonewolfNT, and chaitea for reviewing! Please review!**


	27. Highever Massacre

9:29 Haring 15th

The preparations have begun. Eren had to give the second in command the position of Captain, for now. Bryce and Fergus were going to go join the war front against the darkspawn. The first skirmish already happened and the King won that one. From what I remember, there were three attacks before the main horde came and killed the remaining forces. We were doing all we could to train them. Some guards already had experience, while others were fresh new recruits.

It was odd seeing these men that were most likely going to get killed by darkspawn. There was a knot in my stomach, one of guilt. I knew that I couldn't do anything because I was only one person but that didn't mean it didn't kill me inside. I knew what was going to happen…and I won't be able to stop it.

Eren and I were busy making preparations and helping Bryce with supplies to send with their force. We had to gather everything before the first snow came. The chill was there but no clouds in the sky meant no snow. Bryce has also been in contact with Howe on a regular basis…and he was coming in a week and a half.

Every night, since Eren told me about the darkspawn, I retraced my steps from the larder and to the city. I checked my pack to make sure I had everything there as well as the coin from my pouch. I tested out every possibility. Howe's soldiers would attack on all fronts and Howe was going to be with Bryce on that night too.

If I played my cards right, I should be able to save everyone. Of course I should also be ready for the possibility of something happening. The worst case scenario that I won't be able to save anyone. That's why I've been putting my heart in training, asking to even fight against the soldiers. I made sure to face against two or three. Howe's men won't do the one on one, they'll rush me. I have to keep fighting. I have to get better or more people will die.

I'm here now. Maybe in a grand scale I can't make a difference but I can make a difference in a few people's lives right? That's the only thing that's feeding my guilty conscience. I have to listen to it. Otherwise, I'd be crushed by my emotional weight.

9:30 Wintermarch 3rd

My hands are weak. My letters are so…Rael would beat me up for this I'm sure. God, I'm so tired. Eren and Oren are…I'm the worst. I couldn't even…Well, there's no point in being so vague. I have to write it down. I have to! I have to…I have to…otherwise I'd be useless. I'll beat myself later.

It happened. Howe attacked and Duncan…was nowhere to be found.

I was there when Bryce called Eren in. They have been planning to, of course, march together. Howe explained how his soldiers were delayed.

"I have heard much of your work with the soldiers. Well done." Howe smirked and shook Eren's hand. My blood boiled when I saw him and I kept my hands at my back. I thought about it. One of the possibilities to stop all this was to murder Howe but how? He was always with Bryce when he came. They were never separated. I didn't have a chance.

"I'm guessing your family didn't come with you?" Eren wondered.

"Oh no." Howe chuckled. "They are in our lands in Amaranthine, well away from the fighting. Truthfully, my daughter Delilah has asked for you."

"You know my son's response from the last time you insinuated that." Bryce chuckled and patted Eren's shoulder. Howe did a quick hateful glace at me before smiling at them.

"Yes I do recall but you must consider, my boy, that age has no play later on." Howe chuckled.

"I must decline." Eren said politely.

"At any rate, there is a reason why I called you pup. You will be in charge in the castle while your brother and I are away." Bryce gripped Eren's shoulder. I could see Eren soar from the responsibility that his father gave him.

"I will do my best father." Eren said with pride.

"Thank you pup." Bryce gave a smile of relief. "Only a few of our forces will stay once our main army is gone. I trust that you will keep the peace in the region while I'm gone."

"Of course father. I will do my best to protect Highever." Eren nodded.

"That's my boy." Bryce said proudly. It wrenched my heart. "Now that I have given you your responsibilities, go and see your brother. He will be leaving soon and you don't want to miss the opportunity to say farewell." Bryce explained.

"It was a pleasure meeting you again." Howe shook his hands with Eren. I bit my cheek to stop myself from clenching my hands around Howe's throat. I am a pacifist but Howe has my hate. He's the only one I can kill with no hesitation and no regret. We left the main hall and Eren breathed in deep when we got out.

"I am in charge…" He said breathlessly.

"People better start praying…" I mumbled. Eren glared and flicked my forehead. "Ow! I was kidding!"

"Of course you were." Eren rolled his eyes. "Come, let's say our farewells to my brother. I won't see him again for many months." Eren chuckled. More than you think, I thought somberly. "Don't worry, he'll be back before you know it." Eren reassured me after seeing my face. I nodded. Fergus yes but everyone else…

"Ah there you are milord, Nia." Ser Gilmore rounded the corner and nodded to both of us.

"Ser Gilmore, it has been a while. I'm surprised you're not with father's troops." Eren crossed his arms. Gilmore laughed sheepishly.

"No, I offered to stay. You need some good muscle here, besides yourself and Nia of course." Gilmore added. He was such a sweet guy but had nearly no eyebrows. It always bugged me.

"Thank you for that but you're not here only to make compliments I'm sure?" Eren asked.

"Oh! No. It seems your hound has entered the larder again. Nan has threatened to quit as well as other unmentionable threats." Gilmore chuckled.

"She always does." Eren sighed and laughed. "Alright, Gilmore come with me to take that blasted intelligent beast away from Nan. Nia, go and say goodbye to my brother. I'll meet you there." Eren nodded while he led the way to the larder. At this point I really wanted to see if I could corner Howe alone. I sneaked back to the hall but they were both chatting like old friends. There wasn't anything I could do.

I took Eren's advice and walked toward their room. Eleanor had visitors and I politely excused myself through them. There was no point in learning about more shadows that will plague me. I'm sorry but I wasn't able to save you. They're rooms could become defensive but that's the weak point too. Only one way to get in, one way to get out. I looked at the bookcases surrounding the entrance door and the chests. It'll be loud but I might be able to move them and cover the door while I save Bryce. It was worth a shot in my mind.

"Why do you have to go papa?" Oren's voice echoed as I walked toward the open bedroom. I clenched my fist as my stomach twisted again. I took a deep breath and entered.

"So I can defeat all the darkspawn and come back a hero Oren." Fergus laughed and ruffled his son's hair. Oren pouted before he saw me.

"Nia!" He ran to me and I lifted him up.

"Well look at you! I think he grew another inch while I was gone." I chuckled. Fergus and Oriana laughed before I handed Oren back to Fergus.

"It's good to see you before I leave Nia." Fergus shook my hand after putting Oren down.

"And you as well my lord." I bowed slightly. Then he pulled me into a really big hug.

"Come now! There's no need for such formality! You are nearly my sister-in-law!" Fergus laughed. I gave him a dead panned look when I pulled away.

"Me marry Eren? Yeah right." I rolled my eyes. Oriana giggled.

"You would not find a better man than him." Oriana winked suggestively.

"I'll pass. To think I'll be here alone with him, ugh, I can already feel my sanity slipping." I shivered. "Don't be gone too long Fergus." I smiled.

"I'll try not to." Fergus chuckled. "We already have a few Grey Wardens at Ostagar. Once we have defeated the enemy, I'll march right back here."

"I can't shake off my worry though." Oriana sighed.

"Papa can you bring me back a sward?" Oren asked. We all laughed.

"That's _sword_ Oren and I'll bring you back the mightiest one I can find." Fergus crouched and hugged his son.

"Already exchanging the good-byes? Without me? I am so horribly hurt." Eren came waltzing in. Fergus put him in a small chokehold and ruffled his hair.

"I know you'll miss me dearly brother!" Fergus laughed. Eren got out of his grasp and punched Fergus in the arm.

"Of course not, without you here, I can finally reign. Be afraid brother, I might replace you." Eren threatened jokingly.

"Sure, sure. Try not to let the power get to his head for me?" Fergus asked. I nodded. I noticed that Oriana's eyes already began watering. "Don't cry for me my love. It's better that I be in your prayers." Fergus said softly.

"Should I leave you two to finish then?" Eren suggested. Fergus laughed.

"I'm very sure you already understand brother what it means to have a special woman in your life." Fergus hugged Oriana. Eren scoffed.

"Yes, very special." Eren said sarcastically. "Well not only was I sent here to say goodbye but father wanted you to continue on without him." Eren explained. Fergus clicked his tongue.

"Then the Arl's men are delayed. You would think they were all walking backwards. Well, I might as well start marching. Maker forbid, that I get there and all the darkspawn have been killed." Fergus chuckled.

"I hope that doesn't mean you won't be saying good-bye to your parents." Bryce and Eleanor walked in. I looked at Eren and he nodded. I came out of the room and tried not to listen in on the touching scene. It would only break my heart more.

Now that Bryce was in the room, I searched high and low for Howe. It wasn't until that another soldier came by and said that he was off in the city. I cursed silently to myself. I couldn't catch him. Instead I went back to plan A: get a carriage. I got my pack and walked toward the city. I went toward the stables and asked for someone to stay outside the city near the woods. It took 4 sovs, really expensive, but I was able to convince them that it was the order of the Teyrn. It was already turning dusk by the time I came back to the castle.

I went back and saw the marching of the soldiers, heading off toward Ostagar. I sighed before going off back into the castle. Howe wouldn't try until late at night when we're all asleep. For that, it was time to put my trust in someone. I went toward the bedrooms and saw Oriana reading to Oren. I knocked politely.

"Nia. What brings you here this evening?" Oriana asked. I saluted before taking a breath.

"Oriana, do you trust me?" I asked. Oriana closed her book.

"Of course I do Nia. Your work has been astounding these two years." Oriana smiled. I gulped.

"Then would you trust me when I say that Howe is going to attack the castle?" I said. Oriana gave me a confused face. "I know, I have no proof whatsoever but please, I am begging you, believe me." I knelt down. "I wouldn't even consider this an option unless I had absolute faith that Howe is planning against the Cousland family." I bowed my head low.

"Are you certain beyond all belief?" Oriana question boomed in the room.

"Mama?" Oren wondered.

"Yes." I looked up. Oriana stared at me before going to her chest and withdrawing a few daggers.

"When will their attack happen?" Oriana asked. My heart soared but I squashed the feeling down. Not until I was able to save them.

"Tonight at midnight. They mean to take the castle while the soldiers are gone. They will aim for you and Oren first before moving onto Eren and Eleanor. My advice is to bar the door until I come back with Bryce." I suggested, coming out and motioning toward the bookshelves and chests. Oriana nodded. I did my best to bar as much as I could before I squeezed myself out.

My breath came out as a wisp as winter night fell. There was a full moons tonight so I knew I would be able to easily track the carriage once we go out of the servant's exit. I went out and sneaked toward Bryce's study near the main hall. The halls were silent. The forces were minimal at best and, during the night when the defenses are down, that will be the time to strike.

I kept my footsteps light, my memories replaying as I walked through the castle. It hurt but I couldn't let myself be hindered. I reached Bryce's study. I remembered all those times I gave him my report for Eren's behavior. The old and stern face, the way he carried himself as a proud warrior and father. It was something I would never forget. Bryce would have been better as a King than Cailan in my opinion. I stood by the door, my daggers at my hands.

It was now or never. I steeled my resolve and slammed the door open and saw Howe with a dagger in his hand. Bryce looked at me with confusion and panic. Howe recovered quickly and went forward to stab Bryce in the back.

"Stay back!" I shouted. Bryce quickly grabbed the dagger with his hands to try to wrestle it out of Howe. I saw the hesitation and my legs weren't quick enough.

Howe, with a sneer of hate playing on his lips, stabbed Bryce in the stomach. Rage filled my eyes as I finally tackled Howe to the ground. Even though he was older, he was still spry and kicked me off and ran out. I had a thought to chase him down but instead I went to Bryce. He groaned in pain while grabbing the dagger.

"Wait, you'll bleed to death if you take it out." I said, going through his desk and finding bandages.

"Agh, why would…" Bryce groaned in pain.

"I hate to say this my lord but Howe was never your friend. He was only buying time." I sighed. I gathered the gauze and sat Bryce against the wall. "This is going to hurt." I said, taking the dagger. Bryce nodded. I pulled the dagger out quickly and poured some potion on it. It was able to seal some of it but not all of it. I put the gauze on and wrapped it tightly around Bryce's waist. I pulled it tight and helped him to his feet as we got out of the study.

"If…what you said is true…then what of my family?" Bryce pleaded.

"I warned Oriana and she has barred the entrance to the bedrooms but I'm not sure how long that will last." I explained until I heard the warning bells, inside the castle, ring. We barely avoided fire arrows that started to burn everything before Bryce tugged me down and put his hands on my shoulder.

"You must go and protect my family. Don't let Howe get his hands on them." Bryce gritted his teeth.

"But my lord I need to get you to-"

"Do not worry about me. Your concern must be with my family. Protect them at all costs. I will try to meet you at the servant's exit. This is your order." Bryce squeezed my shoulders. I bit my cheek.

"Yes my lord." I nodded. He gave me his nod before he leaned against the wall and started to make his way toward the larder. I said a small prayer before retracing my steps toward the bedrooms. The fire was spreading quickly and, if it wasn't for the open hallways, I would be choking by now. I heard big booms of something and had enough time to avoid rubble. I don't know what were Howe's men doing but they were determined to bring this castle down. I already heard the sounds of fighting when I approached the hallway towards the bedroom. The few soldiers that stayed were outnumbered and I went to help them. I knocked out the archer that was closest to me before heading up to the three Howe soldiers against the Cousland ones.

I sprinted before bashing in one's helmet. It did an awful ringing nose that made the man scream and kneel. I evaded a sword slash before crouching and doing a sweeping kick. With the two that I knocked down, the other two guards overpowered the Howe soldier before picking off the others ones.

"Have you seen Eren or anyone else?" I asked, sheathing my daggers.

"No and we can't get through their bedroom doors." The guard replied.

"Good." I nodded before going down the hallway. I tried the door and it wouldn't budge. "Oriana! It's me! I found Bryce but he wanted to make sure everyone else was safe!" I shouted.

"Is Bryce all right?!" Eleanor shouted.

"I'll explain once you open the door!" Once I said that, barking and the sounds of shuffling were heard through the door. Finally, the door opened and out came Eren, Oriana, and Eleanor. Oriana was the only one without armor. Oren followed behind Oriana, clutching her hand tightly.

"Where is Bryce?" Eleanor asked immediately. I held in a sigh.

"I tried to save Bryce from Howe but he stabbed him in the gut. I was able to use a potion to mend he wound but only on the outside. He still needs medical attention but he wouldn't let me help him. He wanted me to accompany you and make sure you're escorted safely." I explained. Eleanor looked crestfallen before Eren grabbed my shoulders and looked at me up and down. He gave a sigh of relief.

"You're safe as well. Now that we have gathered everyone, we must find our way out of the castle and to safety. Nia, protect Oriana and Oren. They will be at the rear. Mother, Alfred, we'll be at the front fighting against our enemy. Mother, are you sure you're up to this?" Eren asked her.

"You should not worry or fret my son. I will shoot my arrows at every bastard that comes our way. You can be sure of that." Eleanor glared, taking her bow. "Nia, protect my daughter-in-law and my grandson."

"I swear Eleanor." I nodded.

"We've wasted enough time here." Eren started to lead us. We went of the bedrooms and I took out my daggers. The guards that I helped were already fighting against other soldiers. The fire was spreading and a few parts of the castle was crumbling. Our straight get away toward the larders was stopped by debris and fire. A few bodies were burning near us and gave me the unpleasant smell of cooked pork. I nearly gagged.

"Andraste's knickers, we can't go this way. We must go through the main hall." Eren growled.

"We can do this son." Eleanor nodded. Eren took the lead again and we walked down the hallway. Eren held a hand up and we stopped. He signaled five and motioned his mother to come closer.

"Shoot at one of them and then you charge, Alfred." Eren commanded. Eleanor got her bow ready and Alfred's muzzle pulled back to show his teeth. Eleanor managed to hit a vital point and Alfred charged. He took one down by the neck. Two down, three to go. Eren charged in and got someone with a shield bash. Eleanor already took down another one and Alfred went for the last one's legs. They screamed as Alfred crushed his leg. Eren silenced him with his sword.

He motioned us to follow. I pushed Oriana and Oren forward while keeping back. That was the case as we sneaked closer to the main hall. Eren would send Eleanor and Alfred first then he would charge in to distract them. I held back to make sure that no one sneaked up on us. The more we fought, the more guards we found. Many of them were lying in their pools of blood, taken down by Howe's men. Those few that were alive still stood with us. Finally, after fighting two more groups, we entered the main hall.

I kept Oriana back as I saw Howe's mage at the forefront. Eleanor, Eren, and Alfred helped the last of the guards push them back. I heard something behind me and got my arm bit by an enemy mabari. It took me down while another of Howe's men went to attack Oriana. Oren was crying while I drew my arm back and stabbed the mabari's head. I took it off and my armor was dented. I heard a cry of pain and Oriana had a cut across her thigh.

I tackled the man down and we wrestled until I wrapped my legs around him. I put him into an immediate chokehold. He gasped and tried to claw at my arms before he passed out. I released him but Oriana was resourceful. She ripped her dress and wrapped it around her wound. She grabbed Oren and we went into the main hall where everyone was gathered. Howe's men lay dead while the few guards kept the main gate closed.

"Ser Gilmore have you seen my father?" Eren asked as he passed him.

"Yes. He was wounded but was certain that you would find him at the servant's exit. Please milord you must go! We cannot hold them off for much longer." Gilmore explained.

"Then we'll go. May the Maker guide you Gilmore." Eren had a hitch in his breath as he squeezed Gilmore's shoulder in respect before leading us across the main hall. The booms of Howe's men trying to break through echoed through the hallways.

"Wait, we need to get the Cousland sword and shield. Those cannot fall to Howe's hands." Eleanor said.

"Mother those are only trinkets. Your lives are worth more than a sword and shield." Eren argued.

"They may seem that way to you but those will serve you once you grant our castle the due it deserves. Come, it is not far." Eleanor explained. We followed her but, when we opened the door, we were hit by three of Howe's men. Eren bashed the first one in the face while Alfred got the other one's legs. I slipped past, tripped the last one, and punched into his chest and into his solar plex. He retched on the floor before I punched him in the dome. All three were down.

Eleanor found the key to the door. Eren found the sword and shield and replaced his own with them. Eleanor nodded before we came out and got ambushed by two archers and their dogs. Oriana shrieked when one mabari tackled her down. Alfred was quickly on top and wrestled it off. The damage was done to her shoulder. Oren shouted but I quickly put him back through the door while slashing at the other mabari with Oriana behind me shielding Oren.

Eren took down one archer and Eleanor, while getting shot in the leg, did a headshot to the other archer. Alfred killed the other mabari that was on top of Oriana. I killed the other that made it past by stabbing downward on its skull. I took it off my dagger while going over to Oriana. She shuddered in pain and I tried to reach into my pack for potions but they were all cracked.

"Shit! My potions are gone." I panicked.

"Not…to worry." Oriana groaned.

"Mama." Oren cried. She wiped his eyes.

"We need to get out of here and get medical help." Eren growled.

"Come on." I helped her up. Her face was pale and her skin was clammy. Her breath was coming out uneven. "Oriana?"

"I feel strange." She confessed.

"There they are!" We were hit by a large group and a man that was covered in plate armor. I quickly put Oriana into a corner and ordered Oren not to move. I ran toward them, Alfred was fighting against the mabari. Eleanor was ducking and weaving against their archer and Eren was caught in the middle with the other three. I tackled the one that was aiming at his back and knuckled him in the nose. I rolled away from the heavily armored man.

I twirled away to his back and crouched to knock him in his knees. He knelt down. I put my dagger underneath his neck and slashed. He gurgled and I coughed out in guilt. I looked up and the others were down. Oren was screaming though. We ran back to him and Oriana's lips were blue and her eyes were bloodshot.

"P-Poison." She shivered. I looked at the bandages around her thigh and it was black. Eleanor put her hand to her mouth. I growled in frustration and kicked some debris.

"Nia! This is not time for that." Eren grabbed my injured forearm. I hissed in pain and he let go. Oriana had shallow breathing.

"We shouldn't stay here." Eleanor whispered. I nodded.

"I'll carry you." I said softly. Oriana nodded and I carried her bridal style. We went into the larder. Nan, Thellan, and Awell were dead on the floor. I squashed my grief down. Bryce was leaning against the wall and Eleanor quickly went to his side.

"Lay me down here." Oriana suggested. I put her against the wall and she whispered a few things to Oren of which I couldn't hear.

"My love and my sweet boy…" Bryce said softly.

"It's all right dear, we made it through Howe's forces." Eleanor said, sitting next to him.

"Father the exit is right there. We need to leave now." Eren urged.

"I can't. I am bleeding inside. No magic can heal me." Bryce explained.

"Ma? Ma!" I heard Oren cry.

"Bryce?" Eleanor pleaded. He shook his head. My heart was pounding and there was a lump in my throat. Alfred whined.

"Please father!" Eren begged, his voice cracking. Eleanor's face changed.

"My love, you must leave." Eleanor took out her bow.

"What? No! I am not leaving without both of you!" Eren argued. I heard shouts coming from outside.

"Your father will not survive and I will not leave him." Eleanor replied.

"And please…take Oren…" Oriana wheezed.

"Mama!" Oren screamed.

"This…I can't…" Eren started to weep.

"Nia, take my family and go. Swear that you will protect them." Bryce commanded. I pushed down my grief.

"Yes my lord." I nodded.

"Father, mother, please!" Eren begged on his knees. I grabbed Oren and grabbed Eren's shoulder. He shrugged it off but I kept pulling him.

"We need to go now! Eren!" I yelled, hearing the main gate crashing through. Eren got up, shakily and we got to the servant's exit.

"Goodbye my son." Eleanor said. We went down the ladder and I led Oren and Eren out of the castle with Alfred right behind us. We got out and they both tightly held my hand. Eren stopped and saw his childhood home slowly burning. Eren was shivering as tears flowed freely from his eyes. Alfred whined. I pulled on Eren's hand.

"We need to go. We can't…" I gulped down. "We can't let their sacrifice be in vain." I harshly whispered, trying to keep my own tears in check. Eren looked at me with a vacant look. I have never seen him so broken and small. As we walked, I saw the carriage there. I bumped into the door and the rider woke up. He seemed confused at first before seeing the castle on fire and our disheveled appearance. Once we were inside, he booked it.

As soon as we were on our way to Denerim, Oren and Eren both broke down. I could only cry silently as I had to be the strong one. I couldn't break, not now. Everyone is resting in a small inn we found on the road. The rider agreed to take us to Denerim for the rest of the trip. Eren and Oren are resting in one bedroom and I can't sleep. The events were too fresh. I'm exhausted but I'm so afraid to sleep. Everything is haunting me. I failed…

* * *

 **Shout out to FearaNightmare for beta'ing!**

 **Yes! we finally got here! I told it would be in the twenties :3 Now you know what's next kiddies? THE BLIGHT! :D**

 **Shout out to LadyDragon1316, Kurosaki95, Melony33, and tsogh-a-ma-i for following/favoriting!**

 **Blooddoll1:** _The answer to the first is here. The answer to your second lies in other chapters :3_  
 **ChaiTea:** _Yes this is a rewrite and it's completely different from my first one. I love my first one because it made me realize I could write a fic that was long and well coherent but it was rife with errors and plot holes. It was also very, very rushed. In this one, I'm taking my time and fleshing a few scenarios out not only with Nia but with all the dragon age cast. I'm also including new information that came out in inquisition to make it feel like Nia knows more._

 **Thank you Chimera Spyke, HollySutterlin, ThelonewolfNT, and Syutaku for reviewing!**


	28. Saving a Friend

9:30 Wintermarch 6th

We made it to Denerim. The ride there was filled with tears, emptiness, and overall despair. Oren talked quietly with a hoarse voice, nearly crying the whole time we traveled. Eren had empty eyes and bags underneath them from his nightmares. Poor Alfred was on high alert to try to comfort all of us and even he was getting tired. I cried where they couldn't hear or see me. There was no point in adding to their grief.

The carriage was taken away once we arrived at the stables. I pulled out some coins and asked for someone to deliver us to Lothering since it was the closest village to Ostagar. Nearly all of them denied me.

"No one is going to Lothering at this time. With the fear of darkspawn in the air, no one wants to even get near it." A rider explained to me.

"Please I need to get there. We need to get to Ostagar." I pleaded. The rider sighed.

"I'm very sorry but I can't." He left. I nearly cried out of frustration. Walking there would take too long. I kicked the ground and went out of the stables. Eren and Oren were sitting together with Alfred looking at the foot traffic, rigid as stone. I patted his head and Alfred woofed quietly.

"Sorry, I wasn't able to get a carriage to Lothering." I looked down at Eren. He looked up to me then stood up.

"We'll have to do it by foot then." Eren said, his voice almost detached and quiet.

"But we have Oren. He won't make the trip." I added. I was worried that we wouldn't be able to walk long distances with a child. "What if we get attacked?" I asked silently. "We won't be able to protect him."

"…" Eren stared at me with no emotion in his eyes. "We have to make the trip." He hung his head. He sounded so weak. It wasn't the Eren I was used to after all these years. I sighed. There was no reason to stay.

"Follow me. I know a good inn where we can rest before we start on our way to Lothering." I offered. Eren followed me with Alfred and Oren right behind. Oren came and grabbed my gloved hand. I eventually found the same inn I stayed at with Rael. I ordered a room for the night and got the same room as last time. Alfred went on the seat while Eren sat on the bed. Oren played with Alfred a little. I leaned against the wall and rubbed my face. I was in Denerim so what the hell.

"I'm going out." I said and got out of the room. It was hard to stay with Eren when he was like that. I decided to visit Rael and take a breather. I maneuvered through Denerim to the gate of the Alienage as fast as I could. I really needed to see his red hair and winning smile.

When I got there, it was pandemonium. It looked like there was a ceremony but with the crying elves, the drunks all gathered with Cyrion in the middle, it was chaos. I immediately went up to Rael's father.

"Cyrion." I said. Cyrion looked while the other elves started to circle in.

"Shemlen!"

"You're not welcome here!"

"Go back to your Denerim master!" One elf held a rock high before Cyrion grabbed his forearm.

"She is a friend of Rael's." Cyrion's voice boomed out. "Anyone who hurts her answers to me!" He shouted and the crowd dispersed.

"Ok, what in the hell is going on?" I demanded. Cyrion sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Today was supposed to be the wedding ceremony of Rael and his cousin Soris but…Vaughn Kendells, the son of the Arl, came here and abducted the women." Cyrion almost looked like he was going to cry. Even after the emptiness of the Highever massacre, I was completely enraged. I growled.

"Does anyone know how to get to the Denerim Estate?" I asked around. Many elves were starting to whisper.

"What are you going to do?" Cyrion asked.

"I'm going to save Rael and the others of course! Please, does anyone know-"

"I can guide you to the servant's entrance. Soris and Rael went through there already." One elf came. I nodded.

"Cyrion, where's the Alienage shop?" I asked.

"Right in the corner there, why?" Cyrion asked. I smirked.

"I'm about to give birth to a legend." I cackled. He led me to the store and the guy did a double take when I came in there. I took out my pouch and took out one gold coin.

"Give me two daggers, an elven hood, a dark shirt and some poofy pants if you have them." I slammed the sovereign on the desk. He gave wide eyes and nodded vigorously at seeing the money. I started to take off my armor and dump them in an empty sack. I put my pack carefully in there too. The guy returned with what I asked and I started to undress. Cyrion and the guy turned away bashfully. I put on the sleeveless shirt but left on my gloves. I put on the poofy black pants that resembled ninja pants. I took off my shin and knee guards into the sack too. I put the hood over my head and grabbed a black bandana to put over the lower half of my face.

"Cyrion, take this sack and hide it in your house please." I gave him the sack while strapping in my daggers. "I'll come back to get them." I explained, seeing a small empty flask on the ground. I took that too.

"Are you really going to save my son?" Cyrion asked. I stopped and nodded.

"Don't worry. I'll get him back." I said. We went out and that same elf was outside waiting for me. I bunched up the hood near my ears so it would look like an elf but took it off as well as my bandana to not look suspicious until I was able to get to the house.

"I just let them go at the door, we shouldn't be too late." The elf said. I nodded and we started to run out of the Alienage. The elf led me through various alleyways and tunnels that guards wouldn't normally patrol until we got to the Arl's palace. There were no guards stationed and he led me toward the servant's entrance. As we went I saw two guard corpses as well as four mabari's lying in their own blood. I pulled bandana on my lower face and pulled the hood over my head. I got my daggers ready in my hands as well.

My heart was pumping loudly in my heart as we neared the servant's entrance. This was a crazy idea and I wasn't even sure if I could pull it off. Rael was my friend though. I wouldn't let him die not after what he did for me.

"This is the servant's entrance. The guard is usually drunk or asleep. Take care and bring them back for us." The elf said before running back. I took a deep breath and opened the door. It led to a sort of storage. I opened the next door and I found Rael and Soris over a very dead guard. Rael looked up and had a sword in his hand.

"Whoa wait! It's me!" I harshly whispered. Rael's eyes grew wide.

"Nia!?" Rael wondered.

"What are you doing here?" Soris wondered. I pulled my hood down but kept the bandana.

"That doesn't matter. I wanted to visit you but all of a sudden there was chaos in the Alienage! Your father was hella worried about you so I came to make sure you didn't kill yourself." I explained.

"We'll be fine. It's Vaughn who won't." Rael growled. I nearly took a step back. My kind, thoughtful, slightly dorkish Rael was almost scary.

"Then I'll have your back. Go, open the door. I'll be right behind." I said. Soris and Rael looked at each other before nodded. They opened the door and I heard the cook talking them down before hearing a thud. I looked in the room and was passed by another running elf. Rael was about to go open the door before I shook my head. I went into the pantry and found an open bottle of brandy and another bottle that I recognized as rat poison. "Here, mix these two and give it to anyone that wants a drink."

"How is that going to help us?" Rael whispered.

"Will you shut up and trust me?" I glared. He huffed before taking the bottle. I did the same thing as before and waited as they went through first. Now that I realized it, I was very suspicious in my clothing. It had to be done for the last part. I heard the guards asking for something to drink. I smirked to myself as I heard them groan as the rat poison worked through their system. I went to follow them and Rael gave me a look of incredulity.

"How did you...?" He wondered.

"Guards are always around to drink. I work with them remember? Anyway, we should keep going and grab their weapons. You're going to need them." I mentioned. Rael and Soris quickly grabbed the swords and shields.

"Why aren't there anymore guards?" Soris wondered.

"Because there's a blight and the arl has sent all of his men to help the king." I explained.

"A blight!?" Soris gasped. I nodded.

"Come on, we're losing daylight." I urged. Rael was already getting ready for the next room. He opened the door and saw a guard. He saw the weapons and immediately went for the offensive. Rael was ready but I slipped past through him. I crouched and did a leg sweep. He fell to the ground. I hesitated before I heard Rael's sword coming out of the sheath. I did a prayer of forgiveness before I plunged the dagger in the guard's neck. He did a death gurgle. Another life, another sin.

I took a deep steadying breath and stood up. Soris looked on in horror but Real was a mixture of confusion, surprise, and horror. His normally tanned face looked pale. There was blood covering me. I shivered even though the warm blood coated me.

"Let's go. The longer we wait, the longer Vaughn has your cousin." I said.

"Nia, what are you doing?" Rael asked.

"Trust me. These guys will raze the Alienage if they find you. I'm the scapegoat in this situation." I said.

"But-"

"Rael!" I interrupted. "You have no choice. I'm not going to let you throw your life away!" I harshly whispered and glared at him. He looked hurt but I ignored it. "Let's go."

"Come on cousin." Soris said. They followed me as I skipped the armory and went through the hallway. I opened the next door and saw the guards over the body of an elf. Rael came in and his face was in a rage.

"You bastards!" Rael shouted. He went for the one on the right, I went for the left, and Soris was going for the one in the middle. He was lucky he had a shield. I evaded the blow of my own opponent and came to his back. I stabbed both of my daggers in his spine. Rael used his sword and his shield to overpower and kill the other one. Soris was still having trouble. I hit both of the pommels of my dagger on the captain's helmet. He groaned in pain before I took his head, tipped it back and slashed his throat open.

That nearly took me over the edge but I had to stay strong. If I wasn't careful, Rael and the others would be killed. I tried to justify in my head. I would deal with the consequences later. Soris was looking over the woman they killed.

"We have no time to waste." Rael growled. I nodded. I went to the next door and opened it a smidge. There was a guard patrolling but his back was to me. I sighed before I opened the door without a sound and sneaked toward him. I did the same pommel trick, then grabbed his neck and twisted. I grabbed his body before he fell and let him down gently. I heard barking but I'm sure no one heard this. I motioned Soris and Rael to follow me.

They did and we walked on. I passed all the doors in the hallway until I reached the end. When I opened and the three of us came through, the two guards that were protecting the door to the main hall came at us. Rael did a shield bash to the first one while I used my footwork to get behind the other one. Soris got through his stomach and I twisted his neck to be sure. Rael had slashed the other one's neck. I took off my bandana and tried to get rid of the blood from his clothing.

"What are you doing?" Rael asked.

"Remember, I'm the scapegoat. You're the innocent witness." I explained before putting that bandana back. I was used to the smell of blood from my guard work. I lead them through the next door to a hallway that had three doors. Soris found the good one and we followed it. I saw the dog statue at the end. "Shit! Hug the walls!" I warned. Just in time too. We triggered the enchantment and it shot off a fireball. Another guard came out of the room. But one against three? He was quickly overpowered and beaten.

We ran through the hallway. There was no other resistance. If any servant was hearing all of this, they weren't getting in our way. My heart couldn't stop pounding as I opened the door. Vaughn and his stooges were all armed with Shianni cowering on the ground. She had a disheveled appearance with her clothes torn in a few places. Rael growled before I stopped him.

"So the dashing knight comes in." Vaughn said sarcastically before giving me a look of hatred.

"We'll make quick work of these two." His stooge laughed.

"Quiet you idiot! Can't you see their friend here is washed with enough blood to fill a tub? Do you even know what that means?" Vaughn explained. He was ever the brat I saw in the game.

"How about I just ignore you and kill you?" Rael's voice rumbled in his throat.

"Now, now. Let's not be too hasty here. Surely, we can talk this out." Vaughn's voice dripped with poisoned sweetness.

"No! I'm going to wipe that smile off your face!" Rael shouted, taking out his sword.

"Bah! I knew working with you knife ears-" He never got to finish his sentence. I let Rael take the kill. He threw his sword and it went through Vaughn's chest. That's why you always wear armor.

"Holy Andraste's-!" The guy said. I came and slashed his throat before tackling the other one down and stabbing his throat. I knelt to the ground, the pain in my chest was almost as worse as the massacre. The emotional pain was catching up with me. I breathed and squeezed my wrists to distract me from my emotional pain. I saw Rael kneel down to Shianni and Soris mentioned looking for the others. I had to do this. I had to protect Rael. I wiped my brow and got up. The other women came out. Even Rael's betrothed. I got up and sighed.

"Is that everyone?" I wondered. Shianni looked at me.

"Nia?" She wondered. I put a finger to where my lips were.

"Don't mention that I'm here. I have a plan but we have to move quickly. Gather everyone. Let's go back." I nodded.

"Yes, please. I can't wait until all of this is over." Soris sighed. We quickly back tracked out from the servant's entrance. They all went the normal ways while I went through the other passages. I reached the other's at the Alienage. They were all talking amongst themselves about what should happen. I didn't see Duncan anywhere. I gave out a sigh of relief.

"The guards are coming!" One elf cried out. I noticed that Rael had a lot more blood on his shirt.

"Get a clear shirt, now." I demanded. Rael nodded and went to a clothesline. Soris and Rael were able to dress up in cleaner clothes until the guards came.

"I seek Valendrian, elder and administrator of the Alienage." The Captain came. Rael and Soris were fidgeting while I looked on and crossed my arms, trying to come off as cocky.

"I am here Captain. I'm sure you have come in response to today's disruption?" Valendrian smooth talked.

"You can't talk your way out of this elder. You will not prevent justice from being done. The Arl's son lies dead in a river of blood that runs through the whole palace. I need names and I need them now!" The captain demanded. I laughed as arrogantly as I could. The captain immediately looked at me.

"If you want names, then I guess you'll want me." I sauntered. Rael looked confused as did the rest. "I killed the Arl for taking my family and friends." I said seriously.

"And who are you?" The captain growled.

"I have many names and you will hear none." I said, taking my daggers.

"Hey!" Soris warned as the Captain and the four others got their weapons.

"Ah, ah, ah!" I did a no motion with my finger and held the flask.

"Get down!" The Captain shouted before I shattered it and sprinted out of there. "It's a dud!" I heard them say and I laughed out of there. I had a head start and used it to my advantage. I threw my bandana and my daggers into the river and sprinted. I ran through a few corners, shedding the hood, the shirt, and the pants. I stole a few other clothes and a very huge cloak. I wrapped it all around my body then found a muddy puddle. I washed the blood off my hands as much as I could. I did this all while the guards were screaming behind me. I jumped across a shack and landed somewhere. I rolled around in some dirt and messed my hair.

Ok, you can do this, I urged myself. I went undercover against a blood mage! I can do this! I psyched myself up and slowed my breathing down. I let out a breath and nodded to myself. Confidence! I walked straight out of the alley, going through the city toward the marketplace. Then a guard ran into me. I fell to the ground.

"Ow!" I moaned.

"Oh I am so sorry miss." The guard panted heavily. I got up and brushed the dirt off.

"What happened?" I wondered with an innocent look.

"Have you happened to see an elven woman with dark robes and daggers about?" He panted out. I nonchalantly pulled my hair behind my ear to make sure he knew I was a human.

"No I'm sorry but I did see someone run down that alley." I said, pointing at the opposite alley I came from.

"Much obliged." He said before running down there. Sucker. I walked back into the marketplace before sneaking to the Alienage. The guards were gone and everyone was together. Rael and Soris and the others all in the group. I came up to them.

"Yo." I said softly, letting my breath out. Rael looked and immediately ran to give me hug.

"Where were you?" He harshly whispered and then he noticed my very dirty appearance. "What happened to you?" I laughed.

"Long story. I rather go back to the house." I lightly chuckled. Rael nodded and brought Soris back with him. We went inside and a few women were with Shianni. Cyrion was sitting on the table and looked up as we came in.

"Rael." He looked at me and started laughing.

"Yeah, yeah I know I look like a mess." I pouted. I saw Nesiara comforting Shianni. Shianni looked at me and stood up. "Are you ok?" I asked. Shianni sighed and smiled.

"I'll be fine. I never got to thank you." Shianni said slowly.

"We all didn't get to thank you." Cyrion agreed. "Not only did you go and save my son, you saved Shianni and the rest."

"And we didn't get sent to jail!" Soris said before a knock came at the door.

"It's the Captain of the Guard." We heard. Soris gulped.

"I spoke too soon." Soris cowered. Shianni grabbed me and we went around the corner as the door opened. Nesiara joined us as well. I heard the guard questioning Cyrion about the elf with the black hood and I sat down on the lower bunk bed.

"So…I'm guessing you're Rael's betrothed." I cleared my throat. She chuckled.

"Yes. I never imagined he would come for me." She giggled. Shianni rolled her eyes.

"He came for all of us not just you. Also…about my attitude before…" Shianni fidgeted with her shirt.

"No worries." I shook my head. "After everything humans did, I'm surprised I didn't get lynched when I first came here." I chuckled.

"We're not that savage, only on our bad days." Shianni joked. We all laughed. Soris came by.

"They're gone." Soris breathed a sigh of relief. We all came out and Cyrion gave me a bear hug.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." Cyrion said, leaning back and putting his hands on my shoulders. "This community owes you a great deal Nia." I felt my face flush before I got into a group hug with everyone minus Cyrion.

"Hey stay for dinner! We have plenty of leftover wedding food." Shianni laughed.

"We're still going to go through with it boys." Cyrion glared at both Soris and Rael. They cringed.

"No, I think it's best for me to go back to the inn. I don't want you guys getting in trouble because of me. Oh can I have my things?" I wondered.

"So you're going back?" Rael wondered.

"I have someone waiting for me." I sighed.

"But you can't look like that when you get back. Come on, we'll get you some water for you to wash up." Shianni took Nesiara outside. Rael huffed.

"I guess if it happens, it happens." Rael pouted. Soris chuckled.

"It has to happen cousin." Soris shrugged.

"Aren't you happy to get a good woman like her?" Cyrion asked.

"I'm surprised you're going to get married in the first place. I forgot to say my congratulations." I said. Rael stared at me before looking away.

"Thanks." He mumbled and then the girls were back. They ushered me back to the room with a cold bucket of water. I washed off the dirt and mud the best I could. I washed the blood from my boots too. It gave me a shiver when I remembered what I did. I had to…for Rael. I looked at the small mirror they had and I looked decent. I heard them all talking before I saw Rael come out from the corner.

"You know, I'm still surprised at everything that happened today. I never thought that you...I mean, it's like you were a different person at the palace." Rael mumbled.

"What do you mean?" I wondered. Rael bit the inside of his cheek before glaring at the ground.

"You killed so easily." Rael looked straight at me. My chest and my wrists hurt at the same time. I looked away in shame.

"Can we go somewhere more private? Come and walk me back to the inn." I offered. Rael nodded and waited for me to put on my armor. I said my goodbyes to everyone and we went out. It was already dark when we crossed the bridge from the alienage and back to the marketplace.

"Before you tell me anything, I want to thank you. All the things you did today…I never would have imagined you would have done for me." Rael said softly.

"You saved my life Rael. I paid you back but…that wasn't the only reason I had." I said. Rael looked at me confused. "You're my friend Rael. The first friend I've ever had. You're special to me. I trust you. Of course I would do anything to help you." I confessed. Rael's eyebrow furrowed. There was something on his mind.

"Anything huh? Like...killing all those people for me and nearly washing yourself in their blood." Rael said softly.

"You threw your sword at Vaughn." I replied.

"That was different and you know it. He took my family. I had to do it to protect Shianni but I'm only a friend. You've changed." Rael snapped. My chest kept on hurting and I gulped before letting out a shaky breath. I leaned against a building.

"There was a massacre at the Highever Castle." I whispered. Rael's eyes widened. "We barely made it. I saved Eren and his nephew but that was it. Everyone else…died." My voice broke. The lump in my throat was getting bigger but I let out soft breaths to control it. "We're going to Ostagar to try to find his older brother and let him know what happened. Eren is hoping to convince Cailan to send troops after Howe."

"Rendon Howe?" Rael wondered. I nodded. I looked up at him. There was something different when he looked at me but I had to prepare him.

"Rael, you trust me right?" I asked.

"Of course." Rael nodded. I grabbed his shoulders and forced him to sit down. I knelt down to his level.

"Don't ask me how because I can't explain it to you anyway. The King is going to fail at Ostagar. The Darkspawn are going to overrun the army and Loghain is going to quit the field. After that, Howe is going to become the new Arl. Then a plague is going to go through the Alienage. Howe is going to gather tevinter mages to cure you but don't let that fool you. They're going to hire slavers and try to get rid as many of you as they can." I explained quickly and quietly. Rael looked at me with wide eyes.

"But why?" Rael breathed out.

"A civil war is an expensive thing." I said somberly. "Not only that, what happened today is going to make ripples in your community. They'll want to riot Rael. I need you to stop that. You can stop them from doing something stupid." I said. Rael shook his head.

"They won't listen to me." Rael mumbled.

"Then make them listen. Stop the riots before they happen or else it's just going to get worse." I explained. Rael bit his lip.

"So I can't ask you how you know right?" Rael asked.

"I can't explain but please believe me." I hoped that he would accept my words.

"It's a lot to swallow but…I'll try. You haven't lied to me yet." Rael said. That sent a twinge of guilt but I nodded.

"It's late. I need to get going." I got up and Rael stood up. He mulled over things while walking me to the inn.

"Rael…I don't know when I'll be able to come back to Denerim after this. I'll be leaving for Ostagar and…" I sighed.

"You won't be back." Rael stated. "Truthfully I'm kinda glad. I mean, I understand your changes but..." Rael growled in frustration. "I like it better when it was the old days. Those were good days. This whole mess of me going and getting Shianni? I get it. I was mad, I wanted to save her and the others but seeing you...It made me rethink a few things and...I can't be seen with you anymore. More like...I'd rather not." Rael explained. I felt a sinking in my stomach.

"What do you mean?" I wondered.

"I can't be friends with you. You've changed too much. Everything you did, I'm grateful but I'd rather settle down and live a normal life than getting involved further. I'll try to stop the riots like you said but that's as far as I'll go." Rael said, looking down. We were at the inn and I felt my whole world shift. There was nothing left. I protected Rael and that should have been good enough but...I wish I had my friend back.

"Ok. I understand." I said mechanically. "Can I ask for one favor though?"

"I think I owe you that." Rael avoided my gaze. I took my pack and reached for my very tightly wrapped up phone. I gave it to him.

"I need you to take care of this for me. I'll be back for it. Don't look at it, please." I urged. He nodded. "Then, after that, I'm gone." He looked at the package and then straight at me. I could tell he was hurting too but I had enough of comforting others. "Be happy Rael, that's all I ask." I turned away and entered the inn. I shut the door and leaned against it for support. I gave myself a minute before heading back to the room. Instead of opening the door, I curled into a ball in front of it. I whimpered and clutched at the front of my armor. It hurt. My heart was breaking, the seams were ripping, and the bottle was bursting with marbles of pain. I lost my only friend but I protected him. In the end, it was all I could do.

After letting a few large globs of tears fall, I let the emptiness inside of me take hold. This was no time to break down. I still had to figure out how to get to Lothering with Oren on the way. I stood up and pressed my hand against the door. Once I open this, today never happened. I would go back to look for a wagon, a carriage, hell, even a cart to get us to Lothering. My promise to Eleanor stood; I will protect Eren and Oren. I opened the door. Oren was asleep on the bed with Alfred on the seat. Eren was staring at the fireplace before glaring at me.

"Where were you?" Eren huffed. I stood at the door and remembered the day's events.

"Saving a friend." I whispered before I sat on the desk. Eren didn't press for details and I decided not to give them. He had enough on his plate. Well, that was everything. Time to sleep.

* * *

 **Beta'd my FearaNightmare who rathered I kill Rael than kill the friendship lol**

 **Geez, poor Nia is getting the brunt of it. First failing to save Eren's family and now Rael leaving her? Well It can't get much worse than this...OR CAN IT!?**

 **Shout out to NekoCrisis and A Rough Ride for following! Thank you Chimera Spyke, Syutaku, and Guest for reviewing! PLEASE REVIEW :D**


	29. Duncan

9:30 Wintermarch 17th

My night was rife with nightmares of what I did when I was with Rael. The soldier's faces as I took their lives. I was in and out of sleep for the most part. It didn't feel like I rested at all. I woke up with a sharp pain in my chest. Emotional pain that traveled down to my wrists. I ignored it for the most part. Eren didn't ask me about what happened yesterday, of which I was grateful. I yawned for the third time that morning over breakfast.

"Nia, did you have nightmares?" Oren asked softly.

"Some." I nodded, rubbing my dry eyes.

"I dreamt about mother." Oren sighed. Eren and I looked at each other.

"Keep her in your memories and she'll never die." Eren said before eating his breakfast. Oren nodded somberly. I sighed. This depression atmosphere was really trying. We got out of the inn while I tried to haggle for a ride again.

And again I kept being denied. No one was riding to Lothering. No wagons, no carriages. Nothing. I told Eren about my futility, but all he did was give me that defeated expression. I couldn't stand it.

"…I'll try to convince them again." I sighed. I went back but all the riders were gone. Instead, I found a lone dwarf tending to the horses. "Excuse me, where did all the riders go?"

"Break." He grunted while putting some hay down in a stable.

"Oh. Do you know anyone that might be going to Lothering?" I asked and hoped. The red headed dwarf looked at me then laughed loudly.

"Lothering!? Right next to the darkspawn nest? Ha! You'd have more luck fishing for lyrium!" He laughed. I hung my head. The depression got to me then. The dwarf noticed my expression and cleared his throat. "Look missy, no one is going to go around and risk their heads around here. Too many selfish humans. If you'd like, I could sell you a few horses."

"No." I shook my head. "I don't have the money. Thank you for the offer." I sighed, about to go out of the stables when I noticed a gang coming inside. They had bad leather armor but all of them were armed.

"Hey there dwarf, we came here for some horses. Got any around?" Their leader sashayed toward us.

"We don't have horses for sale." The dwarf said gruffly.

"I seem to have overheard that you were going to sell one to the pretty lady." He winked at me. I glared.

"They're not for sale for the likes of you." The dwarf grabbed a shovel. "Now get out."

"I think those are fighting words." The leader smirked. I grabbed my own daggers but the dwarf grabbed my forearm and threw me into the hay. I sputtered as I heard the sounds of fighting. I couldn't leave him alone. I was able to get out with hay in my hair before I realized the yelling was the gang and not the dwarf.

I could tell that the gang got a few good licks in but three of them were on the ground, one was flung on a fence post, and the last two were trembling in their boots. The dwarf took a warning step toward them.

"Now, you'd best get out of here or the next one gets this shovel up his ass." The dwarf threatened. They ran out screaming. That's when Eren decided to pop his head in with a very familiar face behind him. I gaped.

Duncan.

"You want some of this too!" The dwarf yelled, raising his shovel at them.

"Wait! That's my friend!" I ran over and stood in front of Eren.

"Oh, sorry about that." The dwarf laughed.

"I have to say I am very impressed with what you have done." Duncan said. Eren gave me a questioning look.

"The riders were all gone, ambush, he took care of it." I quickly explained and pointed at the dwarf while trying to get the hay out of my hair.

"You weren't able to convince them?" Eren asked. I shook my head. Duncan was talking to the dwarf until I heard the dwarf guffaw.

"Are you sodding serious?" The dwarf yelled.

"I am." Duncan nodded.

"By the Ancestors! I'm going to be a Grey Warden!" He yelled.

"A Grey Warden?" Eren wondered. Then, for the first time in days, there was light in his eyes. "Are you a Grey Warden?" Eren asked, walking closer to them. Duncan nodded.

"Yes, I am Duncan." Duncan introduced himself.

"Then that means you're going to Ostagar. Take me with you." Eren announced.

"Eren!" I chastised before he glared at me.

"I'm sorry but I can't do that." Duncan walked by with the dwarf in tow.

"Please! I need to find someone at Ostagar." Eren followed.

"Then it would be best if you talked to the Royal Guard." Duncan rebuffed him.

"My name is Eren Cousland and my family was slaughtered!" Eren ran up to Duncan. "I need to find my brother." He nearly screamed. Duncan stopped and looked back.

"Eren Cousland?" Duncan wondered. Eren took off his family's shield with his heraldry and showed it to him.

"I am." Eren's voice shook.

"I have heard of your prowess with a blade. I was meaning to go to your estate to pick a recruit. Unfortunately, I wasn't there on time." Duncan really did look sorry.

"It didn't matter that you weren't there. Nothing could have changed what happened but if you're going to Ostagar, I'm sure I will repay you once I had my vengeance." Eren saluted and bowed.

"Only on one condition; that you come with me to become a Grey Warden yourself." Duncan put his offer. I saw Eren debate about it and he looked at me.

"Not unless you allow safe travels for her and my nephew." Eren grabbed my shoulder and pulled me into him. Duncan mulled it over for a good minute.

"As long as you join our ranks, your companions are free to travel with us." Duncan agreed. For once, I didn't feel like digging into a hole.

"Thank you." Eren bowed and I did as well.

"I am staying at the Noble tavern. Get your things in order and meet me there tonight." Duncan said with the dwarf following him. I nearly wanted to cry in relief. Eren and I got out of the stables and got Oren. We went to the marketplace to stock up on reserves. We refilled our waterskins and I got more dried meat and fruit.

I got a marrow bone for Alfred and he gnawed on it graciously. Eren didn't say a word as I led them to the tavern/inn. We got there and it was uncharacteristically empty. We sat down on a table and I ordered some food for Oren. He ate quickly and I picked at my drink. Eren crossed his arms and stared at the ground. Alfred was snoozing under our table.

"Eren…what's the plan? If you're going to Ostagar with the Grey Warden, what about me and Oren?" I asked.

"You'll stay in Lothering until I come to pick you up. By then, Fergus will be with us. If I can convince the king and tell him of what happened, he might fight with us." Eren explained, finally taking his drink.

"That's a really big might." I chuckled. Eren's face looked away and I sighed. I have no idea how to make Eren feel better.

"Are you going to find papa?" Oren asked. Eren ruffled his hair.

"I will." Eren nodded.

"I miss mama." Oren mumbled into his food. It was almost a slap to the face. I excused myself and went outside. I leaned against a wall and tried my best not to curl up into a ball. Instead I held my face in my hands while subtly wiping away the tears that fell.

"Missy!" I heard a familiar yell. I quickly wiped away my tears and looked up. Duncan and the dwarf were coming with another man in tow. "You know, I never got your name." The dwarf crossed his arms in front of me.

"Oh, my name is Nia." I said, putting out my hand. He shook it vigorously while laughing loudly.

"The name's Derek! Looks like we found another recruit!" Derek slapped the other man's thigh.

"Hey now, that's only reserved for pretty ones like her. Daveth's the name. A pleasure." Daveth winked and bowed. I merely nodded. "Aw, come on. Put a smile on your-" Daveth reached out to me before someone loudly punched the wall. It was Eren who just got out of the inn. He glared at Daveth.

"It would be best not to antagonize your future partners." Duncan chuckled. Daveth chuckled lightly before Eren grabbed my arm and we all went in the tavern. We all sat around while Oren was playing with Alfred in a corner.

"We will be marching to Ostagar as soon as we can though there is one more place I would like to visit." Duncan mentioned.

"Why are we stopping?" Eren asked.

"Mages have always been crucial for the battlefield." Duncan explained.

"We're going to the Circle?" Daveth asked with a hint of fear in his voice.

"No. I will be going to the Circle. All of you will be at the Spoiled Princess in the meantime. That is the only stop. I have searched through all my resources." Duncan sighed. That means we're either going to get the elf or the human mage in our party. That made me slightly excited.

"Then it's best we leave now. Nia and I have prepared everything." Eren mentioned.

"Of course." Duncan said. We all got together and departed the city. When Oren would get tired, Alfred would let him ride him. That made Oren really happy. Anything to distract him from what happened. We continued until dead at night. We made a small camp on the side of the rode with small cots that Duncan had. There wasn't enough for everyone and Daveth gave me his.

"Are you sure you want to give me this? I'm not a recruit so I don't deserve…" I looked down with guilt.

"Nonsense. A fine lady like yourself needs something to protect you from the elements. 'Sides, I'm used to sleeping in the dirt." Daveth chuckled.

"Thank you." I said sincerely.

"Of course…if you get cold then-" Daveth started before Eren grabbed me and sat me down next to him. He glared at Daveth and he backed off. I looked at Eren.

"Is something going on?" I whispered. Eren scoffed.

"You are so thick headed." Eren shook his head. "You'll be sleeping with me and Oren. It gets cold at night." Eren mumbled the last part.

"In a sec, I'm going to write in my journal." I said, taking it out of my pack. Eren rolled his eyes.

"Out of all the things to gather, you grabbed your journal? You are mad." Eren stared in the fire.

"…It's the only thing keeping me sane actually." I said seriously. Eren looked at me and a swell of emotion filled my chest. My lips wobbled as I tried to find the words. "If it wasn't for this, I would have killed myself a long time ago." I squeaked out, wiping away my tears. Eren gaped at me.

"What did you say to make her cry?" Daveth asked across the fire. Eren scowled and Derek laughed.

"Leave the love birds alone! Too bad we don't have a tent for you two." Derek chuckled.

"We're not together. He's my boss." I said firmly, wiping away the last of my tears. Derek looked at me, then at Eren, then at me.

"My condolences." Derek chuckled.

"Why are they-" I wondered before Eren rolled out the cots.

"It's time for us to rest." Eren laid down and Oren laid in between us. I heard Duncan mention he would take the first watch. I stared up at the dark night sky, the stars still twinkling, the moons still bright. It was definitely cold but Alfred snuggled up around our feet. I turned my head and Eren was staring at me. "We'll get through this. As long as you're here…" Eren didn't finish that thought. He turned away.

"I'm not going away Eren. I'm staying by you." I said. Eren didn't say anything and I wrote in silence. Time to sleep.

9:30 Wintermarch 8th

It's been two days since we all started to travel. Derek was the dwarf from the commoner origin. How he came to be in Denerim, I had no idea but he wasn't all that bad when I asked.

"How a dwarf like me was in Denerim?" Derek asked.

"Well not a dwarf specifically but…" I tried not to sound insensitive. Derek laughed and slapped my lower back. It hurt.

"Well…" Derek rubbed his nose. "There's this thing called a Proving back in Orzammar. They're like human tournaments but not everyone can take the challenge. Stupid deshyrs only allow those of the warrior caste or the noble caste to enter. Tch, anyway I got into some stakes. My old boss wanted this one guy to win to bet on him. Unfortunately, me and my partner caught him dead drunk and lying down. So I decided to put on the armor and fight. I won too! But they caught me and I was off to prison. The boss didn't like that and got me into his prison." Derek shuddered. "I overpowered the guard and got out. I decided to risk going into the Deep Roads and found an opening! Since then, I've been living here and there. I got a good spot in Denerim taking care of horses. My sister is going to blow her mind now that I'm going to be a Grey Warden! Hah!" Derek laughed.

"Are all dwarves as loud as you?" Oren asked.

"Oren!" I scolded but Derek just laughed.

"Nope! I'm a special one." Derek boisterously laughed. I never knew someone who would laugh at everything but I had to admit, his happiness was contagious. Duncan never said anything unless he needed to. He was a man of few words. He was also very intimidating. I knew he was an older man but he was tall, taller than even Eren. It made me feel safer knowing that he was around.

"So loud, you've been doing all the talking. What's your story?" Daveth asked, slowing his pace down to match mine.

"It's not much of a story." I shrugged.

"Well a beautiful dame like you doesn't fall from the sky every day." Daveth said. Heh, if only he knew. "You said that he," He pointed at Eren who was bringing the back, "Was your boss right?"

"I'm his bodyguard." I nodded. Daveth whistled.

"I wouldn't mind having you under me." Daveth chuckled. I rolled my eyes.

"Excuse me while I go puke behind a bush. I'm married." I explained.

"You are missy?!" Derek wondered.

"She was. Her family died." Eren interjected as he moved closer behind me. I felt my face flush in anger. I knew it was the story that Oriana made for me but he didn't need to throw that around. Daveth's face changed.

"I'm very sorry for your loss." Daveth said sincerely. I stayed quiet after that while glaring at Eren.

9:30 Wintermarch 11th

We reached the Circle. Duncan already left earlier in the day. Daveth and Derek took to drinking together at the Spoiled Princess. Oren and Alfred were playing near the water's edge with Eren looking out. I sat next to Eren, hearing Oren's giggles and laughter.

"He's a lot more spirited now. That's good." I sighed. Eren's gaze would sometimes wavered between rage or nothingness. I didn't like it but it was understandable. He lost everything. "I'm worried about you Eren."

"You have reason to. I lost my family, my home, my livelihood. A weaker man would break." Eren said with his voice detached. "But I am holding on strong because Howe needs to die by my hands. I will avenge my family." Eren's voice was trembling with quiet rage. His own fists were trembling.

"You know," Eren looked over to me but I watched the river, "A better person would say 'Don't focus on revenge' but truthfully I want to make Howe pay too. Not just for you but for everyone in the castle. I want to see him suffer." I poured out my true emotions. I'm not a saint. When someone wrongs me, I want to hurt them. "When that time comes, I hope I'm by your side. Oh, you can have the killing blow too." I mentioned. Then I saw Eren bow his head and his body tremble. I thought he would cry again but instead I heard soft chuckling.

"You always continue to surprise me." Eren chuckled softly and cleared his throat. He looked at me and smiled. "Thank you. It will take time to heal…"

"No one gets over something like this overnight Eren. Take your time and, if you need me, I'll be here." I said, squeezing his shoulder gently. Eren stared at me.

"You really mean that don't you?" Eren said softly.

"Yep. I care for you Eren. I don't want to see you sad." I sighed, returning my hand back to my lap. "But I know grief and I know how it feels to…lose everything." I thought back to the two years and plus that I've been here. I couldn't know anything about my family and I had no idea how to get back. I lost everything too.

"I'm sorry." Eren ruffled my hair.

"No it's fine. Even after so long it still hurts. Something like that will always hurt but it hurts less eventually." I lied. It still hurt like someone was stabbing me straight through my chest but I had to give Eren something. Oren came by with a few polished rocks and Eren was playing fetch with Alfred. I wanted to think about my own family, about the life I've lost but…now I'm on the track of getting it back. Hopefully.

We spent our day in the Spoiled Princess after our talk. Derek and Daveth were having a drinking contest. Daveth nearly passed out. As I excused myself to go do my business outside, I noticed a small boat coming from the Circle. Duncan stepped off the boat with a much smaller body right behind him. His mage robes didn't suit the circle. In fact, they were wilder than I thought. They had gloves on and sturdy boots. Duncan noticed me and nodded.

"She is not one of the recruits but it would be best to know your names. This is Talen Surana, a capable mage of the circle." Duncan described. Male elves always looked slightly effeminate to me. He was good looking but had a scowl and frown wrinkles making him look manlier. He crossed his arms and followed Duncan into the spoiled princess. I didn't blame him for his bad attitude. He was betrayed by his best friend, Jowan.

Noble, mage elf, commoner dwarf. Rael isn't here because I was there instead of Duncan. I'm not sure what has happened to the other origins. Now to see which one was going to be the Hero. I prayed for many hours and hoped that Eren would survive. I felt guilty because I befriended Derek and he was a good guy. I didn't want anyone to die but…the taint is stronger than any poison. I hope Eren is stronger than it.

* * *

 **Beta'd by the wonderful FearaNightmare!**

 **We're on our way. Talen, Derek, Eren, who would it be!? Of course there are those that read the original that already know what will happen lol**

 **Shout out to BeckyBoo12221, leafygreen16, and Not-Gonna-Update for following/favoriting!**

 **Thank you Chimera Spyke, Syutaku, KoraKendells, tsohg-a-ma-i (That's going to come up later so remember), Written Angel, and Not-Gonna-Update for your lovely reviews! Please Review! :D**


	30. Sten and Leliana

9:30 Wintermarch 12th

Talen was…interesting to say the least. Oren was by his side quickly and Talen warmed up to him. He showed that he could conjure fire in his hand. Oren was frightful of it at first but Talen got him to calm down.

"Magic can be used to help people. It's not always used to throw fireballs but those are fun." Talen smirked.

"I thought all mages were scary people." Oren mumbled.

"There are a few but I'm not one of them so you don't have to worry." Talen stretched. "Still, it's good to finally breath the air but…it's so cold!" Talen complained.

"Please don't launch a fireball to make yourself warmer." Daveth hoped. Out of all of us, he was the one that feared Talen. Talen scoffed, his golden braid swinging.

"Come on, we're not supposed to use magic like that." He rolled his eyes.

"You're not what I expected elf!" Derek laughed.

"And what did you expect me to be?" Talen glared.

"An old spindly man." Derek slapped his back. Talen grunted in pain and almost doubled over. Talen got a scary smile.

"I'll show you spindly…" He grumbled until Eren tapped him on the head. Talen was taller than me but only a head. While the top of my head reached Eren's shoulders, Talen's reached the top of Eren's chin.

"Be respectful." Eren looked down at him. Talen huffed and kept going.

"So…how long have you been in the circle?" I asked. Talen looked over at me. That was definitely the face of annoyance.

"Do you really need to ask that? You're not even a recruit so why bother learning about me?" Talen snapped back. This guy…!

"I'm only curious. The only mages I've ever known were blood mages and both tried to kill me. I only want to know." I huffed, walking further to Eren. I'd rather not deal with his type of personality. Talen squeaked when Alfred barked at him. Eren and I had a good laugh about it.

9:30 Wintermarch 14th

We've arrived in Lothering. The chill was creeping up on me the more we traveled. I didn't want Eren to leave but I knew he had to eventually. I was able to grab a room for me and Oren at the inn near the Chantry. Duncan had already fulfilled his purpose. Now Eren had to fulfill his end of the bargain. Oren was sleeping peacefully in our room. He was exhausted from the trip. I don't blame him. We nearly trekked half of Ferelden in a week.

Eren was up in the early morning. I knew he wouldn't want us having a tearful farewell and tried to leave as soon as possible. I was awake though. It was hard to sleep nowadays. I followed him outside near the highway exit where Duncan and the others were.

"You're finally leaving." I said. It was cold and I was trembling. There was a small fog surrounding the village and the sky was beginning to turn blue.

"I only agreed so you and Oren could join me. If I have to be a Grey Warden to seek my brother, then so be it." Eren replied walking over the bridge. We were in front of the Chantry and the chanters were already setting up their board.

"Eren what if you die?" I wondered. Eren stopped and looked at me. "There's a chance…you're going to be surrounded by darkspawn and then the…" I couldn't mention the ritual. Eren got closer and hugged me tight.

"I won't die, I promise. Wait for me. I'll return." Eren reassured me. I hugged him tightly. As much as I always said that Eren was only my boss, I did care for him. He was my friend.

"Be careful ok?" I said as Eren let me go.

"I will. Take care of Oren for me and if I don't come back-" Eren looked down.

"Don't say that." I interrupted. Eren's gaze softened.

"If I don't come back, take Eren to Arl Eamon. He was a friend of my father. He'll understand." Eren said. I nodded. He left to go regroup with the others and I went back to the room. Oren was sleeping peacefully and I decided to sleep as well.

I woke up in the fade. I sighed as I realized my background has changed. It looked like the trail that I took with the others. I already felt a pang in my heart because Eren wasn't going to be here. Halo floated on top of my head. I sat down.

"Eren has just left with the others to become a Grey Warden, if he survives of course. Halo, what do I do if Eren dies?" I asked, hugging myself. Halo floated in front of me. "I did all of this in order to save Eren. What if he dies? What should I do? I'm afraid." I confessed.

'You have no choice but to walk forward.' Halo said.

"…Yeah. I have to get home even if…even if Eren won't be there." I wiped my eyes. "I always prayed that Eren was going to be the Grey Warden but what if I was wrong? What if it's the others? What if all this time I was hoping for something that won't happen?" I rambled on. My heart was pounding. "In the end, I wasn't able to save everyone! I'm a failure! I should have tried harder! I should have-" I wailed. I didn't have to stay strong anymore.

I wailed like a child, crying with my face in my hands. I had no idea that any of this would work. I only put my faith in something that might not ever happen. I could have been leading Eren to his death for all I knew. It terrified me. And then I remembered of my failure at the Highever Castle. I wasn't able to protect everyone. Oriana, Bryce, Eleanor, they all died because of me! It was all my fault! I should have told everyone what was going to happen even if they didn't listen to me! To hell with looking like a madwoman! I would take it all back if only I could have saved more.

But I didn't. I let it happen…I let them die.

After my episode, I realized I was bent in on myself. My knees would have killed me back in the real world. I sniffed, my nose stuffy with boogers. I grabbed my shirt and blew into it. Usually after crying I would feel better. Instead, I felt the emptiness spread. My guilt was crushing into me. I sat against a wall while Halo floated worriedly in front of me.

"I failed Halo." I said in defeat. Halo was wondering what to do and what to say to comfort me. I just felt it from him. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the trunk of a tree. Before I felt a hug coming from Halo. I opened my eyes and I was covered in light. It felt like love, comfort, warmth, and home. I cried again but this was different. I hugged Halo back.

'You did your best. No one can fault you for that. You must take this failure and learn from it. Become stronger and then you'll be able to protect your loved ones.' Halo said. I nodded sleepily. In the end I ended up falling asleep until late at night.

I gave myself some time to groggily write before going down and getting food for me and Oren. We ate our soup and bread silently. Oren went back to sleep shortly. It's time to join him. It gets cold at night.

9:30 Wintermarch 15th

Last night was hard for me but this morning really put my hopes in a blender.

Loghain and his troops came through. They were marching through the village since the highway was broken. There were numerous soldiers. That meant that Cailan was dead. I had Oren stay in the Chantry while the soldiers marched. I took a breath to steady myself before I went up to the soldiers.

"Please, someone tell me what happen in Ostagar." I pleaded. Some soldiers kept on marching while a few gave me glances of pity. I grabbed a soldier's arm. "Please!" He seemed to have a soft spot and stopped.

"The fighting in Ostagar proved futile. The darkspawn ran over our numbers and the Grey Wardens left the king to die. They are traitors to the crown." The soldier explained.

"What? No, Grey Wardens wouldn't do that." I shook my head.

"It's true. They left our beloved King to die. If you see a blonde elf mage, a red headed dwarf, or a man with dark hair and blue eyes, you must turn them in." The soldier took back his arm and went back into the march. I bit my lip. It seemed that the story was going on as it was supposed to. Then I started thinking. He said Grey Wardens…plural.

Blonde, elf mage was definitely Talen. A red headed dwarf was, of course, Derek. And…the man with dark hair and blue eyes. It was Eren! Eren was alive. As the soldiers marched on, I felt elated! Of course there was no one I could tell. Instead I started thinking of my next steps.

I had a thought to go into Ostagar myself to try to find them in Flemeth's hut but it was too dangerous. I had Oren and I couldn't leave him alone.

I went back into the Chantry. Oren finally had playmates with the refugee children. They were surrounded by a Chantry Mother, telling them about the origin on the Blight. I leaned against the wall when the bell rang and people started to rush in as the Brother was setting up the sermon. I didn't want to stay in there and left. Oren was good where he was.

I went out and the last few straggling soldiers were hurrying to catch up to the horde. People were flocking around, wondering about the events that just passed. Cailan is dead and the Grey Wardens were to blame. I cursed silently and started to wander. Lothering was much bigger in real life than in game. It wasn't just a small village. It was surrounded by farms that were close to it. I went toward the outskirts to a familiar chanting that I've been hearing over the past few days

I had wondered how to approach the Qunari. He was sitting in his cage. His gaunt face was the result of being starved for who knows how long. Should I be upfront? He probably wouldn't even pay any attention to me. So I took a breath and decided to bluff. As I neared his cage, his chant became clearer.

"Shok ebasit hissra. Meraad astaarit, meraad itwasit, aban aqun. Maraas shokra. Anaan esaam Qun." Sten muttered. He was in a meditative stance. I heard him breath out and repeat the chant again. I walked closer to him.

"Struggle is an illusion. The tide rises, the tide falls, but the sea is changeless. There is nothing to struggle against. Victory is in the Qun." I translated. That got Sten to look at me.

"Hearing the Qun from a woman? Now I know I have gone mad." Sten muttered. I lightly chuckled.

"I guess so. It's odd seeing a Qunari here out of all places." I said, sitting down on the ground opposite him.

"I am not here to amuse you." Sten glared.

"I'm not here to be amused. I recognized what you said. I used to have a tal-vashoth friend that explained that to me." I lied. Sten eyed me warily. "They said that the army failed, that the Grey Wardens failed. The darkspawn are coming." I explained.

"They are formidable beasts." Sten grumbled.

"Aren't you scared?" I asked. Sten didn't answer. "You're going to be stuck in this cage if they do come to Lothering."

"As they are. Why must you remind me of my fate? Leave, I have nothing to offer you human." Sten looked away.

"Not to me no but the army? They mentioned that Grey Wardens are still alive." I mentioned. That got Sten's attention. "I have a friend in the wardens and, trust me, they are going to need all the help they need."

"What are you referring to?" Sten glared.

"I'm offering a way out. I don't know your story," Lie, "But I know you want out. I've seen your type fight and they fight like beasts. We're going to need that to fight darkspawn." I saw Sten mull it over. I got up. "If I come back with my Grey Warden friend, will you consider it?" I wondered. Sten sat in silence until he looked up to me.

"…If." He said. That brought my hope back up. I smiled and nodded. I left with a skip in my step. Then I noticed the wagons starting to come in from the bridge. Refugees were already starting to flock. I was glad that I didn't leave anything in the room but, just in case, I went back and locked it. I went back into the Chantry and there was only a Brother chanting a few things. I went to the Mother and saw Oren teaching a smaller child how to read.

I rubbed my eyes. I was bluffing to Sten of course. I didn't know whether Eren would recruit him or not. I ended up sitting on a pew, staring at the stained glass that showed the different passages of Andraste. I felt defeated and drained even after knowing that Eren was still alive. I kept on looking and examining the Chantry. It had a lot of large stained glass that, when the sun shone through, colored the inside. The torches were going to keep up the light inside and it was warmer inside than out. The Brother's chanting was like a sweet lullaby putting me to sleep until I felt someone sit next to me.

"The Chant always calms a weary soul." If my eyebrows could disappear into my hairline, they would have done so then. I turned to look and a familiar redhead was there.

Leliana.

She was giving me a small smile with her braid on the right side of her face. Her hair was cut short to her chin and she smelled flowery. I looked away, not wanting to seem creepy. I let out a long drawn out sigh.

"Do I look weary?" I asked sincerely. Leliana lightly chuckled.

"The refugees come with the same face and yet you came before them. It means that you are carrying a burden that is similar and yet different." Leliana explained. I did a low hum.

"Does my face really tell you all of that?" I wondered.

"No but you just did right now." Leliana answered. I looked over at her and she had a playful smile. "Your armor is of fine make as well as your weapons. It's odd seeing your type here." She explained. That made me think of a warning sign. Of course she would be wary of me. She would think I'm working for Marjolaine.

"Yeah, I'm a weird type that's true. Actually, I came here with a Grey Warden and his recruits. One of his recruits was my boss. His name was Eren Cousland." I explained, settling more into the pew and resting my head on the board.

"Cousland? Of Highever?" Leliana asked. I nodded. "But they were…"

"Massacred." I harshly whispered, glaring at Andraste. "I was there." I looked toward Oren who was now reading to a few other kids. "We barely got out alive." I sighed.

"I am so sorry." Leliana said sincerely. I looked at her. I huffed.

"It wasn't your fault. They came, they killed, and we got away." I explained, rubbing my eyes and sighing.

"Nia! They have many books here and stories about heroes!" Oren came up to me excitedly. I smiled warmly and ruffled his head.

"That's good Oren. Keep on playing. We'll go back to eat when it gets darker ok?"

"Ok. The Mother gave me some food so I'm not that hungry." Oren said and sat next to me, reading his new book. I smiled warmly. He reminded me of my own son.

"I am surprised. Everyone has been gossiping that the Couslands were staunch Orlesian supporters." Leliana said. I scoffed.

"They loved Ferelden. Whatever you heard? It's shit." I seethed. Leliana nodded.

"You said that one of your friends is a Grey Warden?" She spoke softly and looked around for anyone that was listening. Most likely from the news that the Grey Wardens are wanted. I leaned my elbows on my knees and motioned her closer.

"Eren Cousland is a Warden. Don't believe Loghain's lies. He would never betray the crown." I said with confidence. I got up. I had enough of the Chantry. "Come on Oren, let's go get something to eat."

"Ok." He started to follow me. As I got to the door of the Chantry, I heard someone following me.

"Wait." Leliana was behind me. She bit her lip and, I had to admit, she looked cute. "If you are going to follow him and stop the Blight, may I join?" She wondered.

"Why? You're just a cloister sister." I repeated from in-game.

"I had a dream about the Blight, about falling into the darkness. There is so much that we can all lose. I cannot sit idly by while the darkspawn ravage Ferelden. I was not always a Sister." Leliana's eyes sparkled with cunning.

"Even if I said you can join, it's not my decision. It's going to be the others that will decide for me." I explained.

"Then please convince them. I am sure my talents can be of use." Leliana said before another refugee family came in. "We will speak later." She nodded. I got out of the Chantry with a smirk on my lips.

Two for two.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare!**

 **In order to explain the Highever Massacre, Howe convinced that the Couslands were in league with Orlais to Loghain. Just some interesting information I found while reading. Woo! And there we have it. Multiple Grey Wardens :3**

 **Shout out to Chaos Verto and a little girl blue for following! Thank you Chimera Spyke, Syutaku, and Jack Redhawke (I hope my reply helped) for reviewing! Please Review!**


	31. Reunited

9:30 Wintermarch 16th

If there was a way to explain how bad Lothering got over the course of one day, it wouldn't be enough. I thought that it was starting to get crowded yesterday, it got packed overnight. After the army marched through nearly every single farm in the vicinity of Lothering, everyone swarmed the small village. It was the only place, besides Redcliffe, where they could restock and rest until their journey to Denerim.

The spaces near the highway were filled to the brim with refugees. Soon the inn was filled up too. I was right in saving my room for the week. Of course with all these people moving in, there were bound to be conflicts. The same merchant that I saw in the beginning of Lothering, was already buying everything for coppers and selling it back for more than it was worth.

And the highwaymen that centered themselves right at the entrance weren't making anything better. All the guards and soldiers that were around yesterday were also gone. People were scared, panicky, fearful, and desperate. I took a deep breath and leaned against the Chantry wall right next to the door. They had to open the double doors when it got crammed inside. It smelled like gloom and doom in there. Oren didn't mind though. He blended right in reading books and ignoring everyone else. I felt sad that Oren matured too quickly but there was nothing I could do.

Anything to cope with what happened. Oren wasn't a stupid boy. He knew his mother was dead and his grandparents were dead as well. Does he know that he won't be able to go home? I wasn't sure but I bet his small sad, detached looks he gave me every once in a while would denote that yes, he knew.

I was really getting sick of all this palatable sorrow. As soon as I got Oren's ok, I walked away from the Chantry as a man started to chant about the darkness coming to swallow them whole. I rolled my eyes at the exaggeration.

I was holding onto the hope that Eren had survived. The only thing now was that I had to wait and I hated waiting. I looked at the Templars coming out of the Chantry. I followed them and saw that they tried to get rid of the highwaymen. As they escorted the highwaymen away from their wares, I sneaked and peeked into their crate. There were pouches just resting in there. While I made sure they were all distracted, I pickpocketed the thieves and put them in my own pocket. I sneaked away and saw the families all with dirty and despair stricken faces.

I decided to use the 100 silvers that I had and passed it around to those that needed it. I got many thanks from the families who couldn't afford a simple meal of jerky and stale bread. I even helped elves. They expressed the most gratitude. Soon I was down 50 silvers and was about to go back into the Chantry to get Oren when I was stopped by a group of three men.

"I heard you were giving out coin to those in need. We are so frail and helpless. A might fine donation would greatly help us." The leader mocked. They had patchy leather armor and their weapons looked worn out. That didn't hide the smirk the leader wore.

"Get to stepping boys. I'm only helping those that really need it not bullies like you." I glared, my voice growing deeper and intimidating.

"Uh I think we need to leave…" One of his subordinates said.

"Nonsense. She's the only one with coin and I am not leaving until I get what I want." He threatened. I saw that he was going to pull out one of his weapons and I rushed forward and twisted his arm painfully behind his back. He shouted in pain while the other two got their weapons. I deftly pulled my dagger and held it up to the guy's throat.

"I told you," I growled, pulling on his arm again and he whimpered, "Now, be good and leave me alone. You come near me and next time this dagger will be shoved up where the sun doesn't shine." I let him go and kicked his back. He fell to the ground and his two lackeys got him and dragged him away. I confidently walked up to the Chantry and its doors before leaning against a wall. I let out the breath I was holding and rubbed my face.

"Impressive though I would suggest hiding your emotions more." I heard Leliana behind me and I chuckled.

"I'm not used to intimidating." I confessed and gave her a sheepish smile. I took out the last of the money I swiped. "You think you can give these to the refugees? I'm afraid that if I keep carrying it, others will try the same." I explained.

"I will take half. You will need all you can in order to continue on your travels no?" Leliana said, taking out the few silvers for the refugees and then giving me back the pouch.

"Let's hope those travels will be soon. You need to tell the Templars to warn the people. This village won't be safe for long." I looked around us to make sure no one was overhearing. "Darkspawn are going to attack and this land will be blighted." Leliana's eyes widened before settling.

"It is understandable. Ostagar is near here. It won't be long until their next move. I will tell the Mother to help along any refugees that are staying here." Leliana nodded.

"Good." Hopefully they could get away sooner than later, I thought.

"Why are you doing this? You have nothing to gain." Leliana wondered.

"I just want to help…even if it's something as small as this." I mumbled the last part. I moved past Leliana before she said anything and went to pick Oren up. The sun was already setting and I'd rather go back to the inn and get some food in me before my room gets taken away. Oren was sleeping away on the bed and the rowdiness downstairs kept me up. I need to get some sleep though. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

9:30 Wintermarch 17th

Everyone was back together and we were on our way.

The morning started out rough. Oren had a nightmare and I was sleep deprived. I was able to snag us some water so we were able to at least bath and get ourselves clean. The innkeeper demanded more money for the room but I was able to get out before he hounded me more. As the usual, Oren and I went to the Chantry. It wasn't as packed as it was yesterday but there were still people milling out. Leliana was praying with those in the pews and Oren went toward the bookshelf.

When she saw me, she excused herself and walked over to where I was leaning at. Leliana was awfully chatty to me though I didn't understand why.

"I have heard you spoke to the Qunari near the village limits." Leliana stated.

"I did." I shrugged.

"You do know what he has done, no?" Leliana wondered.

"He killed an entire family bare handed." I said plainly. Leliana's lips pursed.

"Is there any reason why you spoke with him?" She asked.

"I wanted to know why a Qunari was here of all places. You rarely see them and I was curious." I lied. I saw Leliana stare at me with a calculating stare. Most liars would be nervous, fidget, never look at the eyes, and be tense. I'm a very good liar as I was relaxed against the wall and raised my eyebrow when all she did was stare at me. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Most wouldn't even consider conversing with a known murderer." Leliana said.

"And everyone would love to see him get killed for it I'm sure. I know he regrets it though. If he really wanted to get out of that cage, he would have done so already. A weak mind is a cage in of itself." I said, remembering what Sten would say later on. Leliana's lips parted before shutting again. It was odd to see her so open. I need to remember to burn that into my memory. This Leliana would disappear in a decade's time.

"You are an odd woman." Leliana said after a stint of silence.

"I get that a lot." I chuckled.

"Have you seen anyone that resembles your friend?" Leliana asked. I shook my head.

"Nothing so far but I'm keeping my eye out. I'm parched, want to join me for a drink at the inn?" I offered. Leliana laughed.

"I don't think a Chantry sister would be welcome there." She said.

"Ok." I shrugged, going out the door before she walked past me.

"Good thing I am not a sister." She playfully smiled. I smirked and shook my head. We made our way to the inn as the bar and seats were completely full. There were people singing in the background that kept me awake last night. It irked me. We were able to snag a few seats in the corner and they brought out ale that smelled funky.

"Ugh, this smells like the back end of a swamp." I crinkled my nose, pushing the tankard away from me.

"I wouldn't be surprised if that's where they got it from." Leliana shoved hers away as well.

"So I got a question for you." I leaned in my seat.

"And that is?" Leliana wondered.

"Why do you keep coming up to me? I already told you that I can't assure my friend will accept you." I said.

"Well it is also because you are interesting to converse with. You care for a boy that is not your own, steal from highwaymen to give to the needy, and warn us of an impending attack that will likely save more lives in the long run. I believe you to be unusual. In a good way of course." Leliana explained.

"Glad to see that you like me." I chuckled before the door opened. My mouth nearly fell to the floor as a familiar dark headed, blue eyed man came through. He was followed by a very familiar blonde hair man and dark haired witch. I saw a few men stand up. Leliana noticed my reaction.

"Is that…?" She wondered. I nodded. We both got up and I saw that she had hidden dagger underneath her robes. Unfortunately, the innkeeper grabbed me by the arm and led me away before I could join her.

"Now about the added few to your room. It will be 15 silvers to-"

He didn't even get to finish as I heard the fight start. By the time I got back, the two guards were already running out of the inn. People who were gawking went back to moping. I stared at Eren who was busy talking to Leliana. I wanted to go up and hug him. I wanted to slap him for not coming sooner. I wanted to sob and tell him how worried I was for him. There were too many conflicting emotions that, by the time I wanted to talk to him, they had already walked out.

I cursed silently as I went to go with them when the innkeeper blocked my way again. This time I got really pissed off. As he began to rattle the numbers, I slammed my hand on a table.

"Keep your frigging room! I'm leaving!" I said, running up to the room, gathering all my things in my pack, and getting out. I rechecked everything as I gave him the key and sauntered out, hearing the shouts for the room as I closed the door.

I looked around but I couldn't find Eren. I sighed as I kicked the ground. I should have gone up to him and done something! My face heated up in rage in shame when I heard a gasp as I came up to the bridge to the Chantry.

"Missy! You're still here!" Derek shouted. Talen was right behind him with Alfred next to him. Alfred immediately barked and jumped all over me.

"Hey! Down boy! Heel!" I squeaked before he knocked me down and slobbered all over my face. I felt Alfred come off me as Derek held him by the collar, laughing all the way. "Ew!" I wiped off the slobber as best as I could.

"You're looking more spirited missy." Derek helped me up as I dusted myself off.

"I've had some good moments here and there. Where's Eren?" I asked. Talen rolled his eyes.

"Apparently a Chantry Sister mentioned that there were bandits outside of the village and that the Chanter's board would pay them if they helped." Talen scowled.

"Oh, thank God you're both alive though. Are you guys ok?" I wondered.

"Why would you ask that?" Talen bristled, his voice becoming lower. "Do you even know what we've been through these last couple of days? Not to mention the betrayal we had when Loghain up and quit the field? And you're asking us if we're ok?!" Talen shouted. Derek slapped his back and Talen hissed in pain.

"Will you be quiet? Can't you see she actually worried for you and all you can do is yell at her? Stop being such a priss and man up!" Derek huffed. "Now say you're sorry." Derek pulled his ear.

"Ow! Ok I get it! Let go!" Derek crossed his arms while Talen rubbed his ear. He scowled at me, moving his lips back and forth. He let out a sharp exhale. "I'm sorry…" He mumbled and Derek slapped his back again.

"With feeling priss!" Derek shouted.

"I'm sorry!" Talen yelled, his face growing red. "I'm just…gah! When I get angry, I get really angry. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. Things haven't been going so well." Talen's ears drooped as he looked to the ground. Talen looked so young. He couldn't have been any older than 18 at the most. I sighed and thought, to hell with it. I hugged him. "Hey! What are you doing?"

"Whatever that has happened, I'm still glad that you're alive." I said sincerely. Talen huffed before patting my back. I leaned out of it and gave him a goofy smile. Talen pouted and turned away.

"He'll warm up to you. He's like an out of control pup, easy to anger but gets all lovable later." Derek snickered. Alfred barked.

"Shut up!" Talen shouted before stomping away. It was funny and cute at the same time.

"So where are you hunkering down?" Derek asked as we moved toward a few empty crates. We sat down and Alfred put his head in my lap.

"I was at an inn with Oren." I said, petting Alfred as he took his tongue out in happiness. "I've been waiting just like Eren told me to."

"What would you have done if he didn't survive?" Derek asked.

"I would have gone to Redcliffe and waited there until this whole thing blew over." I lied. Derek laughed.

"You're an odd one all right. No wonder he wouldn't stop talking about you." Derek grinned.

"Who wouldn't?" I asked. Derek shook his head.

"The boss. Kept on saying he wouldn't die there unless he got back to you. Good too, it probably helped him to survive for so long." Derek chuckled lightly. I smiled. That's good. Alfred's ears perked up before he started to bark and run. I got up to follow him and I saw him. Eren being flanked by Morrigan, Alistair, and Leliana. When he saw me, he froze.

All I could think at that moment was how happy I was to see him. Then he glared at me and all my happiness went out the window. He stomped toward me and I instinctively took a step backward. He grabbed my face and squished it. I groaned in pain before he gave me a hug.

"Jesus Christ Eren did you have to smash my face for that?" I felt my cheeks heating up from the contact.

"I had to make sure you were real." Eren mumbled.

"I am missing something aren't I?" Alistair asked as Eren let me go.

"Considering your inept mental aptitude, tis' a wonder you can even function." Morrigan smirked. Eren rubbed his face.

"She is the one that I described." Eren said, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"So you're the lady friend he's been waiting for." Alistair put emphasis on the 'lady' part. I rolled my eyes.

"Why does everyone think we're together? I'm married." I crossed my arms. A beat of silence went through.

"My condolences." Morrigan laughed.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare! (Who keeps telling me not to work on anything else other than this. I've got something, eventually!)**

 **Yay! Happy reunion for all! Ooooh I'm totally going to love rewriting all their interactions. It's going to be awesome! I already have the mage tower all planned out and a little bit of soldier's peak. Get ready for excitement, danger, and semi-romance that doesn't involve my character! :D**

 **Thank you Chimera Spyke for your review! Please review!**


	32. Becoming a Team

9:30 Wintermarch 17th

After we all got together, we sat around near the highway in a clear spot. Everyone filled Leliana and I on the current situation. Oren and Eren were off in their own world by the river. It was as I knew it. They became Grey Wardens, the fighting started, the Tower of Ishal was taken over, and Loghain quit the field.

"And now we're wanted fugitives." Talen mumbled.

"It was bound to happen. Loghain wants nothing to do with us." Derek huffed.

"But you are the only ones to stop this Blight, does he think he can outrun it?" Leliana commented.

"Tis the actions of a foolish man. I still do not see why we do not march up to him and slay him." Morrigan offered.

"Yes and his leagues of soldiers will be on us like bears on honey." Alistair rolled his eyes.

"So then what are we going to do?" I asked. Derek grabbed some papers from his pack.

"These are treaties that we can use to gather up our forces and build an army. Mages, Dwarves, Elves, and anyone else that we can get." Derek explained.

"I still suggest we should go to Redcliffe and inform Arl Eamon. He would still have all of his soldiers and he's very respected." Alistair suggested.

"We need to go to the mages first! They were kept out of the fighting for the most part. I'm pretty sure that they will know of the danger first than everyone else. Besides, didn't that guy in the Chantry say that Arl Eamon was sick? Isn't it better to give him some time to get well before we go and ask him?" Talen described. Alistair huffed and pouted.

"We should decide on what to do next, soon. Lothering isn't going to be safe if the darkspawn are moving like you said they are." I crossed my arms.

"Missy is right. They'll hit here first before starting to spread." Derek said somberly. I stood up and left everyone to their decision while going and joining Eren. He looked up and nodded at me.

"Have they decided where to go yet?" Eren asked. I shook my head and sat next to him.

"No. Talen wants to go to the mage tower and Alistair wants to go to Arl Eamon." I explained. Eren sighed and rubbed his face. "You're a part of them too. You should talk to them too and decide where we're going." Eren looked at me.

"'We?'" Eren wondered and I nodded. "You are not accompanying us." He stated. I gaped until I chuckled.

"Ha, ha, very funny Eren." I said.

"It wasn't a joke. You are to take Oren to Arl Eamon and wait there." Eren said.

"Are you kidding me!?" I shouted and stood up. "What happened to your great speech of, you wouldn't have anyone at your side fighting against the Blight?"

"That was then and this is now." Eren stood up to his full height. He should know better than to try to use that against me. "The stakes have grown higher than before. I can't have your burdening our plans!" Eren shouted.

"So all that training I went through with you is completely moot at this point? I can't fight as well as you Eren but I can at least watch your back!" I replied.

"You don't have any idea what you're getting into!" Eren glared.

"I know well enough! Don't you dare send me away Eren! I fucking promised your mother that I would protect you!" I growled. "I am not about to let her down!"

"You haven't even never face a darkspawn before! You don't know how they fight, how they look, smell! You are a complete novice of what you're about to face!" Eren took a step toward me.

"And somehow you're the expert on darkspawn all because you were gone for a few days!? I'm coming along whether you like it or not!" I stomped my foot.

"We can't have Oren alongside us! He could get killed or worse! Will you listen to me for one moment instead of letting your pride blind you!?" Eren yelled.

"I could say the same goddamn thing to you back you overgrown brat!" I yelled. Eren growled before Derek came between us.

"Alright, you had your say. Missy, as much as you would like to join us, I'm with boss with this one. We can't have kids on this expedition." Derek crossed his arms.

"Or we can just leave Oren with Eamon or at the Circle. They can take care of them while she can come with us. We need everyone we can get right?" Talen came up as well. "I'm pretty sure that fancy armor and blades aren't just for show, right?" Talen glanced at Eren. His face grew red and he turned away.

"Of course not, I trained her." Eren grumbled.

"Then it's Eamon or the Circle. Which one should it be boss?" Derek wondered.

"I still say the Circle. I saw Wynne and Uldred at Ostagar. Eamon wasn't. If there was anyone who would be willing to join us, it would be them." Talen described.

"You don't know if they're still alive priss." Derek said.

"They're both Senior Enchanters. I'd be lying if I said they weren't going to be alive." Talen vouched for them. I looked at Eren expectantly. Eren let out a growl.

"Fine! We'll go to the Circle and have them watch Oren. I'd rather have Eamon but we need to gather as many allies as we can. The faster, the better." Eren huffed in defeat. Derek laughed.

"There we go! We have a set destination everyone!" Derek went back to the group.

"You've been here longer than everyone. What's with the Qunari in the cage?" Talen asked me.

"He's a Qunari that killed an entire family with his bare hands. They put him in there to starve." I said. Talen scowled.

"If he's that strong, why hasn't he broke out yet?" Talen wondered. I shrugged my shoulders.

"I tried talking to him but he didn't want anything to do with me. He was interested in the Grey Wardens and I told him that I had a friend in it that would talk to him." I explained.

"You told him that without consulting me?" Eren crossed his arms.

"I was only giving him his options." I said.

"A smart girl. Having a proud beast accompanying us would bolster our chances against our enemies. If not that, we should release him for mercy's sake." Morrigan quipped as she walked next to me.

"Mercy? That isn't something I expected from you." Alistair chuckled coming up to us. Morrigan glared.

"I also believe we should put Alistair in the cage." Morrigan replied.

"Yes, that's what I thought you would say." Alistair said.

"Perhaps but is it wise to release him?" Leliana wondered as she stood next to me.

"Everyone should have a chance of redemption right?" I said. That struck a cord with Leliana.

"Then how do we get him out is the question." Talen rubbed his chin.

"You guys go and deal with that. Me and the boss are going to try to get some supplies." Derek said as he, Oren, and Eren went out. I couldn't help but glare at Eren's back.

"We either get the key from the Chantry Mother or we break him out." I said.

"Anyone here knows how to break locks?" Talen wondered.

"I do." Leliana nodded.

"You, lead us to the Qunari." Talen pointed at me. My eyebrow twitched.

"I have a name you know." I scoffed.

"Whatever." Talen walked off to the side of the road. I growled before leading everyone.

"He's such a kid." I mumbled. Leliana giggled.

"It's not that. We've all suffered when Loghain quit the field." Alistair's voice grew deeper.

"Still not a reason to curl up into a ball and stare at your navel." Morrigan said.

"Have you never cried over someone in your life? What if your mother died?" Alistair rebutted.

"Before or after I start laughing?" Morrigan snapped back.

"Right, creepy. Forget I asked." Alistair mumbled. We got to the Qunari caged. Sten was standing up, leaning against the back of it. His eyes immediately rested on me.

"You have returned. I assume that one of these is the fabled Grey Warden you have told me about?" Sten asked.

"I'm right here and yeah, she told me. Open the cage." Talen said and Leliana whipped out some tools from beneath her robe.

"You have not gotten the permission from the ones who caged me?" Sten wondered.

"Why? Grey Warden treaties give us the power to recruit anyone we want without repercussions. She'll have to deal with it. You're coming with us to fight against the Blight." As Talen said that last part, Leliana was done with the lock. The cage swung open.

"So let it be. By following you, I will find my atonement." Sten pledged.

"If that's what you want, then by all means." Talen smirked. "Come, I'm sure you don't want to stay around that cage any longer." Sten nodded and then looked at me.

"You have my thanks." Sten said before following Talen.

"You have already made a friend." Alistair chuckled.

"Let us hope he will prove to be valuable." Morrigan followed them away. I sighed.

"God, it's been a long day." I mumbled.

"We'll have to regroup to ready our journey." Leliana said.

"Sure, making an army is the easy part. Didn't anyone tell you?" Alistair joked.

"I didn't get the memo but thanks for the reminder." I chuckled. "I really hope this is going to work out." I mumbled.

"Do not be so easily disheartened. There is always a way." Leliana explained.

"At this point all we need to do is get ready. We'll meet up at camp." Alistair said before heading out too.

"Leliana, are you sure you want to do this? What Eren said about the darkspawn…" I let linger before Leliana chuckled.

"I will be fine. My skills, although dull, will be put to use for something greater. You should also prepare yourself. I do not know your relationship with the other Grey Warden but you shouldn't let your emotions blind you. Do not let your heart fill with rage." Leliana gave her advice. I bit my lip.

"I made a promise to protect Eren right in front of his dying father and his mother. I won't let him go on alone but…I'll try not to let my anger get the better of me. Anyway, we need to get ready." I went on past Leliana, out the countryside, and tried to find a few herbs. Thomas never explained to me how to mix them but we would need elfroot for our travels. I found a few growing out of the ground near the wheat farms and took out a small pouch to gather elfroot.

I heard the wind through the crops and I took a deep breath. My emotions were in a rollercoaster and then put through a blender finally ending in a hope that was strained. I let out a frustrated growl and curse.

"Jesus frigging Christ, I need something to go right." I mumbled, yanking out the elfroot. "At least I'm on the right track. Next I need to get to Flemeth or Mythal or whoever that can get me home." The sooner the better. As much as I loved playing the games, reliving them was something I didn't want to go through again. I wanted to hold my son and my daughter in my arms. I wanted this to be over.

I never want to experience something like this again. The deaths, the killing, the loss was affecting me. I was a normal person damn it! I wasn't used to this shit! The closest I was to death was when I had to put my cat down. I wanted to rub my eyes but my hands were filled with dirt and elfroot sap.

"I just want to go home. Is that so much to ask for?" I whimpered, letting out my sobs while no one was around. I couldn't handle someone caring for me right now. It would bring everything up to the surface and that would only get in the way of everyone. I cleared my throat and breathed. I wished I had someone to talk to. Journal, you're the only one that cares about me.

After my pouch grew heavy with the elfroot, I backtracked to go back into Lothering. Unfortunately, as I passed by the windmill, I got stopped by a large group of people. They had nothing on them besides very shabby weapons. I was instantly on high alert.

"Hey, you were talking to those Grey Wardens right? The ones in the bar?" One came up to me.

"Is there a problem?" I asked.

"Look, there are plenty here who can't afford the trip to Denerim and a lot of hungry people. You help us, we help you." He offered.

"Do you want me to bring them to you?" I wondered.

"That would be a great help." He nodded.

"Hey, shouldn't we just take her instead and that way they'll come to us? What if she warns them?" Another guy came by, telling him. I turned my glare on them.

"Are you going to kill them?" I asked, my voice low.

"We need that bounty!" The other guy said, holding his mace. It was nearly 20 to 1. Even if they didn't know how to fight, if they ganged up on me, I wouldn't have a chance.

"For once in my goddamn life I would really like someone to not act stupid!" I yelled. I had enough. They all looked at me. "Do you think I want to be in this fucking position!? Running for my life against you types of people who, for one second, don't think straight!" I screamed. They all took a step back. "There is a BLIGHT FOR GOD'S SAKE! We'll need everyone to think! You have two legs!" I started stepping toward them and they all stepped back. "Use them and walk! Use those weapons to fight back! If you guys can gang up on one single woman, then you can stand up against bandits that might attack you! GET TO DENERIM! LEAVE! DON'T JUST WAIT AROUND FOR A GODDAMN SIGN! Now!" I shouted and they all slightly cowered. "If you'll excuse me." I said calmly while walking away from the group.

I didn't even look back. Screaming like that hurt my throat but for once it felt good. It also felt good to put the fear of the Maker in them. They had no reason to stop and stay here. Everyone needs to hightail it out of here before the horde marks this as their own. I found the small camp of ours near the river and the broken highway. Alfred woofed and was the first to greet me. I knelt down and gave him a doggy hug.

"Oh for once, someone that has sense." I sighed in relief while smooshing his face in my hands. His tongue lulled out in pleasure.

"I do not believe you should place faith in an overgrown wolf puppy." Morrigan said as she pitched her tent farther than everyone else were. Alfred's head cocked in confusion and I chuckled.

"After everything I've experienced, at least Alfred is honest in just wanting to relax and enjoy some mabari treats." I got up and rubbed my eyes.

"That is the once sense that animals have. They never want for more than what they need. Tis the opposite for everyone else." Morrigan explained. I nodded.

"Humans are the real monsters. I guess that's why when the Chantry explains where the darkspawn came from, it came from humans becoming twisted by their desires." I sat down near the river and rinsed off my dirty hands.

"Tis foolish to believe everything they repeat." Morrigan scoffed.

"Oh no, I know. I don't believe in Andraste or the Maker. The Chant of Light is pretty and maybe some of it has truth but overall it's a story." I shook my hands to get them dry.

"How odd to see an enlightened person such as yourself." Morrigan smirked.

"I'm not enlightened, I'm smart for the most part." I chuckled.

"Then we will need more like you. What is your part in this?" Morrigan crossed her arms.

"I want to get home but, in order to figure that out, I need to find someone. That's as much as you'll get from me. As much as I would like to play 20 questions with you, I've had a tiring day and I want to sleep." I sighed. Morrigan nodded and I went toward the fire that was started in our camp. The sky began to darken and I sat down. I let out a sigh of exhaustion.

"I have heard of a screaming mad woman urging survivors to stop fighting and start thinking of ways to go to Denerim. Sound familiar?" Leliana sat next to me. I looked at her then did a double take as she was wearing well fitted leather armor.

"You clean up well." I laughed.

"You should thank Derek. He was able to convince the merchant outside of the Chantry to lower his prices for us. Although he did anger a sister." Leliana's lips pursed at that. Derek laughed.

"Look, I don't care for human worship. The Ancestors are all I worship." Derek continued shining his new hammer.

"Well it seems everyone is gathered." Alistair said as Eren, Oren, Talen, and Sten all came. Talen looked the same with his robes and staff but now had better boots and gloves to go along. Sten was fitted in some loose heavy chainmail along with a double handed sword. Eren and Alistair sat down, Sten remained standing up, and Talen crossed his arms in front of the fire.

"So we finally got our packs full and we got supplies to get us to Kinloch Hold. It will take about 3 days of travel to get there. Make sure you don't forget anything. I doubt we'll be coming by this village again." Talen explain. Derek laughed.

"Look good and bossy there priss!" Derek smirked. Talen scowled.

"I'm only getting everyone ready." He sat down and got out a piece of jerky.

"He's right. Everyone knows. As soon as first light hits, we're heading out." Eren echoed. There were only two tents and, while everyone else had unfurled their cots, Oren grabbed my hand.

"There's room with Uncle." Oren smiled. I ruffled his hair.

"I don't think he'd like me moving in your spot." I mentioned. "I'll sleep outside."

"With me." Leliana tuned in. I raised in eyebrow but nodded.

"Yeah with her. So go with Eren ok? Keep warm." I tipped Oren's head and gave him a kiss on it. He went over to Eren and they both entered their tents. Sten came by and gave me a cot and a nod. I set it next to Leliana's. I took off my chest plate as well as my boots and socks but kept everything else on. I knew I was going to be uncomfortable but I didn't know if the men I confronted would be back again. Leliana laid next to me and passed me a piece of bread.

"I'm not sure if you had anything to eat. We will need to keep up our strength." Leliana said. I laughed while taking a bite.

"Thank you. Get some rest Leliana also…I appreciate your support." Leliana nodded while I sat up to eat something as well as write. I'll need to switch to charcoal pencils. I'm sure the enemy wouldn't like it if I was sitting down with an ink well writing everything. Well…the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare (Who gave me a lovely song for Nia) Hope of Morning - Icon for Hire if anyone wants to hear.**

 **Yes we are getting there! The more I play inquisition the more I want to get there! Grr! Now that my kids are older, I don't have much time to write -_- Oh well.**

 **Chimera Spyke:** _It's not a big spoiler but Leliana and Nia are actually in constant communication throughout the years so she isn't as cold as she is to others when she's with Nia._

 **Thank you Syutaku, Blooddoll1, and KoraKendalls for reviewing! Please Review!**


	33. Traveling part 1

9:30 Wintermarch 18th

The second I felt myself fall asleep, I woke up in the fade. I groaned before getting up. My scenery was Lothering to the detail, even the cot I was sleeping in. I was in my old jeans and shirt. I groaned and fell back. This wasn't want I really wanted right now but it happens. I stared at the odd sky. I outstretched my arm and imagined capturing the black city in my hand. I laughed.

"Oh now I know I'm going crazy if I'm imagining trying to catch it. Mage circle huh? That means demons and Uldred. Poor Talen doesn't even know that he's probably taken over by now." I sat up and saw a few wisps floating to and fro. Halo lazily came by and settled in my lap. "I can't believe it's only been two weeks since all of this has happened. It almost seems like yesterday that I was still at Highever Castle…Why do bad things happen to good people Halo?" I petted him.

'Life is not fair. Cannot control. Free will.' Halo explained.

"Free will and random events huh? Life is a bitch." I laughed before it died down. I hunched over and hugged Halo to my chest. There were no more tears to cry but that just got me thinking instead. Things are going to get worse before they become better. Mages or Templars, Harrowmont or Bhelen, Werewolves or Elves, then there is Redcliffe. So many things were about to happen and I don't even know when we would get to Flemeth.

"I hate waiting." So many things have happened to me in the short course of 15 days that I'm not even sure how to process everything. It seemed that grasping at the emptiness was the best course instead of wallowing around in misery. I can only imagine what it would do to my psyche later on though.

I did a small prayer in the fade and hoped everything would turn out alright when I abruptly woke up in the real world. I breathed out, my breath being visible in the cold. The small blanket shared between Leliana and I was really the only thing we had against the cold. I groaned at the soreness I felt from sleeping on the hard ground with my armor. I heard grunts near me and I saw that Sten was practicing with his sword. I gathered some bread from my pack and my water skin and walked over to him.

The sky was a dull blue that was growing lighter as the sun was coming out. Sten noticed me but still did his routines. Now that I stood near him, I realized that I would only reach his chest at best. Qunari were extremely tall. Sten stopped and then I walked over.

"Here." I offered.

"I am well. I do not need it." Sten declined.

"You were in that cage for who knows how long. Right now, you're malnourished. Even you should know that going in fighting your physical condition will only get in the way of others. Right now, you need some carbohydrates and fluids meaning bread and water. Once your stomach stops fighting you, we can bring in some meat." I offered the food again and Sten took it. We both sat on a log while he ate quietly. "I'm glad you're out of the cage."

"It was your doing that set me free." Sten said.

"You're welcome." I chuckled. "Try to take it easy. I don't know much about Qunari biology but I do know that muscles don't like to be strained after you stopped using them for a long period of time."

"You are concerned." Sten stated.

"I don't want you to get hurt or die. I've witness enough of that to last a lifetime." I mumbled.

"Death will always be a part of the battlefield. You will need to become accustomed to that once we start our journey." Sten advised. I didn't want to was what I thought. I heard a long yawn as saw that Derek was already up.

"Missy! Come over here and help me wake everyone up! The sooner the better!" Derek shouted.

"Not needed!" Talen shouted back. I had an amused smile as Sten and I walked back to the camp. Everyone was silent as we all gathered our things.

"Journey of a thousand steps…" I mumbled as I hugged my pack against back. Eren and the other Grey Wardens were going over their plans one more time. Once they were done, Eren ruffled my hair.

"Let's get going." Eren's voice boomed. We made our way out of Lothering and past the countryside. The armed men that were next to the windmill were gone. They probably took my words to heart. That made me feel relieved. As we continued on, the sun rose and the yellow wheat seemed to shine. My heart felt lighter until we heard the screams of terror.

"Help!" I heard as I saw faces of recognition cross through all the wardens eyes: Darkspawn. They all ran forward while I kept in the back with Oren. They ran up the stairs and I heard the sounds of fighting. Oren gave me a worried look but I wouldn't even dare go up the stairs until I knew it was safe. I heard guttural growls and things crashing. I heard shouts of a fight and something exploding. Most likely it was Talen's magic. Leliana and Sten were behind with me during the fight.

"It's all clear!" Alistair shouted. We all went up and the stench hit me first before the sight. I've smelled blood before and it always had a metallic one to it. This smelled like iron, rotten meat, and sewage all rolled into one. Oren threw up his small breakfast and I fought from the same. Two hurlocks were burned which gave out that sewage smell. A large genlock was smashed through crates and an Alpha was lying on the ground without his head.

"Wow, timely arrival my friends." A blonde dwarf said with a matching beard. Another dwarf with a baby face and bright blue eyes came up behind him. Bodahn and Sandal. "Thank the men will you Sandal?"

"Thank you." Sandal said. If only I could have hugged him.

"Nice to see another duster out here though, at the same time, weird." Derek said.

"We were getting ready to move on from Lothering to our next destination but, as you can see, we were held up." Bodahn explained.

"Darkspawn." Sandal mentioned.

"I'm guessing that all of you aren't ordinary travelers?" Bodahn asked. "A fine pair of swordsman would definitely keep me and my boy out of trouble!"

"We're Grey Wardens." Talen crossed his arms. "I doubt you'd want to travel with us." The realization hit Bodahn.

"Oh Grey Wardens? That would explain your tenacity against darkspawn. It seems you are correct. There might be a little more excitement on your way that we're used to. I thank you for rescuing me and my boy." Bodahn bowed.

"Thank you." Sandal echoed.

"Take care." Alistair nodded and we followed the highway out. The trip was spent in silence for the most part. Oren would ooh and ah at the many things we saw in our travels. There were various farms we passed by, the beginnings of forest, and inns. When Oren would get tired, Alfred was there to pick him up on his back. Derek laughed at that.

"A mighty steed for a might warrior!" Derek bumped his own chest. Oren smiled sheepishly.

"The only steed for him." Talen mumbled and rolled his eyes.

"Um mister dwarf?" Oren wondered.

"Just call me Derek, son." Derek nodded.

"Why are all dwarves short?" Oren asked. From the mouth of babes. I face palmed.

"Oren, you can't just ask that." I groaned. Derek laughed.

"It's ok! It might be because we all live underground. We don't have the sky to stretch us out!" Derek bellowed. "Doesn't explain why the priss is so short!"

"I'm still growing!" Talen shouted back. Eren walked closer to me.

"Those two seem close now." Eren said.

"A dwarf and an elf. Reminds me of an old story I read a long time." I chuckled.

"Your mood has lightened considerably." Eren noted.

"I'm getting there." I shrugged. "I still get nightmares so I doubt those are going to go away any time soon. I'm just glad we're finally doing something. I don't like sitting around worrying. I'd rather be here so I can take care of you."

"I don't need your mothering." Eren scoffed.

"Let me fuss about you Eren. It would give me a peace of mind." I said.

"You can fuss about Oren. I can take care of myself." Eren snapped. I felt my anger rise but I pushed it down.

"Nice to see you're still a jerk. I guess some things won't change huh?" I snapped back and walked closer to Leliana, leaving Eren in the back of the group. Leliana gave me a side glance.

"Tempers will flare on this journey." Leliana stated.

"Try not to get on my bad side Leliana. I'm a little scary." I added. She giggled. We continued at a peaceful pace until our road reached Lake Calenhad. By then the sun had already gone down. We set up camp near the water. I gathered some more herbs by the wayside including spindleweed.

"Do you even know what you're doing?" Talen asked as he gathered the firewood.

"I was hoping that someone can teach me more actually." I bashfully said. "I lived with an herbalist for some time and helping him around got me curious about herbs. He never really showed any inclination to teach me about them. All he always told me that elfroot was better dry and adding spindlewood would make the potion better." I explained.

"There are many mages that dedicate their lives to mixing potions. I can see if one of them can teach you." Talen nodded before lighting the fire with his magic. I saw another campfire that was separated from ours. Morrigan had already pitched her tent.

"Can all mages light fire like that?" Oren asked as Eren was mixing something in a small bowl. Everyone else was already going into their rations.

"Most of us can but everyone tries to choose a specialization." Talen sat down next to Oren. I even saw Eren being slightly curious about it. Oren had a face of awe.

"Can you shoot lightning? Or ice!?" Oren asked with excitement. For once I saw Talen smile and not smirk.

"Yeah I can do both. I tend to stay with fire though, that seems to agree more with my temperament than with ice or lightning." Talen chuckled.

"Magic can go with temperament? I thought all mages knew a bit of everything." Alistair sat down and chewed on some dried fruit.

"They teach us the theories of what they know. Once you become a mage, you can choose which magic you'd like to know about. Most in the circle usually choose spells of destruction since those are easier to learn. Fire, lightning, ice are the main ones. I heard stories from Dalish that were forced into the circle that they're leaders could command the earth. That's awesome. Anyway you could also learn how to use force magic. It's a type of telekinesis. You control gravity with your mind."

"All that from magic?" Derek whistled. "Remind me not to get on your bad side priss."

"Eh, dwarves have a natural resistance against magic and lyrium. Besides, all the magic that could harm others, the one that's really rare is creation magic." Talen described.

"What's that?" Oren looked up to Talen. It was really cute.

"The talent to heal no?" Leliana piped in. Talen looked impressed.

"Yeah, it's the ability to heal wounds or the ability to give someone stamina or even courage. The thing is mages only think of themselves. You would have to be a compassionate person at the very least if you ever want to even start healing others." Talen explained.

"Can you do that?" Oren asked. Talen's face grew red.

"I can…" He mumbled.

"Aww, he really does care for us!" Derek laughed and slapped Talen's back.

"As long as we don't die, I'm all for it." Alistair laughed. Talen looked away bashfully.

"Now that we have all had a run of how magic works, it's best to decide who will keep watch." Eren said.

"I'll do first watch. Priss, you can take the next. All we need is the early morning." Derek suggested.

"I'll take it. It seems our illustrious leader needs a few hours of sleep." Alistair nodded at Eren.

"Shouldn't you be the leader? After all, you are our senior." Eren snapped back.

"Uh…" Alistair let it hang.

"Since we've all eaten, I think we need to get some rest and head toward the mage tower at first light." I stopped it there. They all agreed and I rolled out my cot. Eren went to rest next to me with Oren in the middle and Alfred at our feet. I stayed up to write as the others snored on.

9:30 Wintermarch 19th

I woke up in the fade. It was something I was so accustomed to that I got up from where I was laying and immediately started to look at my surroundings. It looked like the camp that I was in but no one was around me. I didn't see Halo so I got on my knees and did a prayer of forgiveness. I prayed for the lives I took and the lives I would mostly take because I was on this journey.

I wasn't prepared the first time I killed a man. It scarred me, leaving me to question to who I am. I realized though with what Halo told me long ago. As long as I repented for my sins, then I would be forgiven. I killed and it's one of the greatest sins you could ever do. I hate myself for it. I was guilty for it. It hurt but I pray that when I go see my own God, that He would see that I wanted to atone for what I've done. Until then, I prayed and hoped.

As I was done with my prayer, I got up and rubbed my eyes. The mage tower. I tried to remember everything that happened in there. Uldred rose up and the mages started to dabble in blood magic, bringing a slew of demons through. There were two choices to this, either we save Irving and gather the mages into the fold or let them kill all of the mages and gain the Templars. It reminded me of the future. I chuckled at that.

"Why can't mages and Templars just play nice? But the world isn't that easy. So many people, so many different opinions, same conflict." I rubbed my eyes. I probably wasn't even going to be here long enough to witness it. Halo floated near me and settled itself in my hair. "Hey Halo. What's new?"

'Journey.' He said.

"A journey? Mine or yours?" I wondered.

'Ours.' Halo replied. I smiled warmly.

"Yeah, no matter what you'll always be with me Halo. I can always count on you, for the most part. At least you listen to me and talk to me. Comfort me, I'm glad that you're my friend Halo." I patted him. I wasn't sure if it was my influence or Halo's but a few wisps came closer to us. They were smaller than Halo and didn't give off his bright light. They were green while he was white and, while he can control his size, they were the size of your average baseball.

They came around and bounced around. I heard a few thoughts coming from them and they were all curious. I laughed when I reached for one and it got excited. They were like small children.

'You are pure and a beacon. They come but always away.' Halo explained as I got up and the wisps took notice of my clothes. I giggled when one went underneath my shirt.

"They're cute but they come about when there's a small idea right? They like helping from what I remember." I recounted.

'You hurt. You are sad. They want you to be happy. They want to help.' Halo described. One landed in my palm.

"Well, I'm sad but this made me happier. I'm glad you guys exist." I said. Halo floated down and snuggled my face. "If I don't make any real friends, at least I have you guys."

I was abruptly awoken when I felt Eren tossing and turning. He accidentally hit my face and I groaned in pain, rubbing my nose. Oren had shifted to where Alfred was while Eren's face was contorted in what looked like to be pain. I sat up and shook him, trying to wake him.

"Ah it seems like the nightmares are starting to happen." Alistair said, sitting in front of the campfire.

"Nightmares?" I wondered.

"They come with becoming a Grey Warden. We have dreams about darkspawn, whispers, and this odd song every now and then. They come when we first join and…later on." Alistair cleared his throat. Eren groaned at sat up. "Bad dreams?" Alistair smirked. Eren pushed the palms of his hands into his eyes before squinting and then rubbing them.

"It felt…real." Eren grumbled

"Well they are real, sort of. It's what happens when you gain control over the taint. We hear them and they hear us." Alistair explained.

"You hear darkspawn?" I wondered even though I already knew the answer. Alistair's lips shut. Eren shook his head.

"The joining is the ritual we had to go through when we became Grey Wardens. We drink darkspawn blood and master the taint." Eren described.

"It's actually all very hush-hush and a secret mind you." Alistair slightly glared at Eren. "Considering that we're all in this together, I don't doubt you would have learned about it. But yes, we do drink darkspawn blood and, if we're lucky, survive."

"So that means Daveth is dead." I stated.

"Yes. He was the first to take the taint but…" Eren shrugged. "It looks like he wasn't strong enough." Then the campfire flew up about ten feet as Talen gasped awake. Alistair leaped away from the growing fire before Talen realized what he did unconsciously and controlled it.

"Sorry!...Sorry." Talen coughed out, controlling the fire to a manageable size.

"What was that!?" Alistair panicked.

"Nightmare." Talen shuddered.

"They did mention that mages get them worse than the others." Alistair mumbled. Talen glared at him.

"Glad to see you remembered giving that tidbit of information, ex-templar." Talen rolled his eyes.

"First off we were running for our lives from an ogre and, what happened in Ostagar, Duncan never really explained the Grey Warden handbook. Second, I was never a Templar. I just have the teachings." Alistair explained with a smile on his face. "Anyway now that some of us awake, let's set up camp." The sun started to shine by the time everyone woke up and got everything gathered.

Leliana rubbed the sleep out of her eyes as we traveled. Even this far into the new year and I wondered why it hasn't snowed. I shivered slightly and I wished I had saved the scarf from Highever. Sten looked uncomfortable and I walked near him.

"Cold?" I wondered.

"It is uncomfortable. Par Vollen has never had weather like this." Sten described.

"That's your home isn't it? I heard it's all jungle." I said.

"It is humid and warm with flowers blossoming. Your Ferelden is brown and sickly looking." Sten grumbled.

"Do not forget its pungent odor." Morrigan chuckled.

"I nearly had." Sten huffed.

"Not all of Ferelden is brown. When you get near the sea, it gets green." I mentioned. Sten huffed.

"As if there isn't enough water from the sky raining down and making mud." Sten mentioned.

"You're so negative Sten." I chuckled.

"One of my good traits." Sten said flatly. It surprised you.

"Well, he knows how to make a joke." Morrigan chuckled. We continued on our path with relative silence. I found it boring really. As we kept walking we came upon a clearing with sign posts all over the place. Alarm bells rang in my head as I saw one off to the side.

'Danger: Traps are meant for wolves.' I read.

"Hey guys! Don't take another step!" I said, going to the front of the group.

"Where's the fire missy?" Derek wondered. I stood in front before I found a small spike jutting out. Using my dagger, I was able to activate it. It snapped shut.

"There are traps all over this area. The signs said it." I mentioned. "Not only that, they also said-" We heard howls. I heard something behind me and brought up my arm just in time for a wolf to snap its jaws on it. I grunted as I hit the ground hard. The wolf wrangled my arm, trying to tear it off. I heard and saw more wolves come out and leap from the boulders near us. I reared my other good arm back and decked it on the snout.

It yelped but it had my arm in a death grip. My forearm guard started to dent in until I saw a greatsword swing at the wolf. It sliced right through the wolf's side and it finally let go. I got up to see Talen and Morrigan use their respective fire and lightning spells to kill the last two wolves. I groaned in pain as my arm was feeling like putty. Talen came over with his hands glowing green and held my arm in between them. The energy transferred from his hands to my arm and it felt better.

"It should be alright, try not to wave it around wildly though." Talen suggested.

"Thanks." I nodded.

"You're fine?" Eren came up and grabbed my arm. "Your armor is dented in."

"Nothing like a quick fix with a hammer!" Derek said. "Give it here, I'll give it a few whacks to make it work again."

"Oh ok but first let's set off all the traps. It would only be our luck if-" I heard a trap clamp down and Alistair yelped in pain.

"Andraste's knickers!" He shouted.

"…Someone triggered one." I ended my statement with a face palm.

* * *

 **Beta'd by my lovely FearaNightmare!**

 **So I just wanted to see how much I've written so far and, excluding this chapter, I have written 222 pages 0_0 wow. Anyway I reworked the traveling part. I mean, it's not everyday you gather up a bunch of strangers to go save the world right? There's bound to be silences and people not talking.**

 **Shout out to Sandmiller and Bloody . Kirai for favoriting/following!**

 **Thank you Chimera Spyke for reviewing! Please review! :D**


	34. Broken Circle

9:30 Wintermarch 19th

After we got Alistair out of his trap, and having Talen heal his leg, Leliana and I began our work of dismantling the traps. Mostly by throwing sticks and having the traps clamp on them. If that wasn't enough, we would spot one and then use my dagger to trigger it. After all the traps were out of our way, we traveled again. I took off my forearm guard and gave it to Derek who worked his magic on it. Somewhat. He couldn't get all the dents out.

"Whoever laid those traps did not consider the humans traveling through." Sten said.

"You can say that again." Talen scoffed. Alfred licked the arm that was caught by the wolf and I petted him to comfort him.

"At least no one got seriously hurt." Leliana said.

"Speak for yourself. Oooh, I'm never going to forget that." Alistair moaned limping around, remembering the pain.

"Well if you were observing your surroundings instead of bumbling around like a fool, you would not have gotten your leg caught." Morrigan smirked.

"True, I should have pushed you first and then watched my step." Alistair snapped back.

"Play nice children or you'll be meeting the end of my hammer." Derek threatened. I stopped myself from chuckling.

"Which hammer?" Talen chuckled.

"Ha, ha, very funny priss." Derek slapped his back.

"I swear I'm going to burn off that beard when you're sleeping." Talen grumbled, rubbing his back.

"I'd like to see you try!" Derek laughed. I shook my head lightly at their antics. I felt Oren grab my hand while he hummed a chantry hymn. Besides that wolf attack it felt normal. We kept close to the Lake and, by the time we set up camp again, the Tower was already in viewing distance. Talen stood next to me as I looked at it across the river.

"Never thought I'd be going back there so soon." Talen sighed.

"Did you like it there?" I wondered.

"The only thing I remember before the tower were my parents?" Talen's eyebrows furrowed as he remembered. "I think we lived in a farm but I was the youngest they ever had as an apprentice. I was only five when they put me in the tower. It was all I knew. For me it was fine but…I just realized that it's not perfect especially for my…well my ex-best friend." Talen scowled. "Either way, we'll need mages." Talen went back to the camp.

I sat down as Oren finished up the last of his food. I hope the mage tower would be able to have food even with it being nearly destroyed. We were running out. When they said grey wardens ate a lot, they did.

"Do you think the mages will come willingly?" Eren asked, sitting down next to me.

"As long as you have the treaties, I'm sure they will. Of course not everything will go smoothly. There are the Templars you'll have to talk to of course." I explained even when I already knew what we were going to be facing.

"There are bound to be bumps in the road. Well, it's best if we rest." Eren ruffled my hair. As sullen as he looked, I preferred the Eren that had a goal than the one with the empty eyes. We got our cots together after they got their night watch together and went to sleep.

9:30 Wintermarch ?

I'm not sure how long it's been. We got through the mess that was the Circle but with everything going on it's been hard to even write. I finally have some time now.

We traveled for another good day. I mostly kept to myself and Oren was asking Talen and Derek all sorts of questions. He tried to ask Sten but Sten was having none of it.

"He is so curious. It's so cute." Leliana giggled.

"He's experiencing everything for the first time. I know that his parents always took him out but traveling like this? Nope." I explained. Leliana nodded.

"Then he will learn how cruel life truly is." Morrigan piped in.

"He already knows. He nearly lost everyone at the castle." I said.

"Tis better to have known earlier than later." Morrigan said.

"Children aren't supposed to." I glared.

"And you would know this how?" Morrigan scoffed.

"I have…had children." I said quietly. "And I would have protected them as much as I could from the darkness until they were old enough to understand it."

"What happened?" Leliana asked. I looked at her and then looked at Oren.

"They're gone." I said and walked closer to the group. I didn't want to answer any more questions of my family. I would rejoin them I hoped. Our group didn't run into any resistance besides a bandit camp we were able to avoid. Derek and Talen were the only ones making small talk. Alfred would occasionally play with Oren but everyone was quiet.

We reached the mage tower as it got dark. The moons rose up and shined as both were full. The tower stretched on and on in the middle of Lack Calenhad. It was foreboding. Talen was the one who got to the pier first and there was a Templar instead of the regular boat hand.

"Hold. No one is allowed to go into the tower at this moment." He said. Talen gave him a questioning glance.

"What do you mean no one is allowed to go? I used to be a mage. Come on Carroll, you remember me right?" Talen crossed his arms in a confident posture.

"Oh yes, the little upstart. Of course I remember you. I should probably attribute what happened in the Circle because of your little dance with blood magic." Carroll glared.

"I didn't use blood magic! That was Jowan." Talen grumbled.

"It doesn't matter. Besides, didn't your little Grey Warden friend take you away? I'm not sure exactly why you should even be back here." Carroll huffed. Talen groaned.

"Yes I'm a Grey Warden and I have documents here that says mages need to help us during a blight." Talen described.

"Ah ha, documents eh? Well I have a document as well saying I'm the queen of Antiva." Carroll snapped back.

"Aren't queens supposed to be female?" Alistair chuckled.

"Don't question royalty. Anywho, off you go." Carroll tried to shoo us away.

"As much as I loved this back and forth conversation, I demand you take us to the Circle young man. I bet your superior won't like it that you got rid of us." Derek said, grabbing his very heavy hammer and letting it drop, not too gently, on the pier, both of his hands steadying it. For a dwarf, Derek was very intimidating. Carroll's face grew paler.

"Ah yes ser, that is true. I should probably ask Knight Commander Greagoir his opinion on the matter." Carroll cleared his throat. "Since there are so many of you. I will need to make two trips. Right this way sers." Carroll ushered in Talen, Eren, Oren, Derek, and Alfred.

"Works every time." Derek chuckled darkly, patting his hammer as he got into the boat. Carroll rowed away while I lightly chuckled at Derek's antics. It at least got us in.

"Kinloch Hold. There are stories surrounding this Tevinter tower." Leliana mentioned.

"If you are about to divulge this information while we wait until they get back, I suggest keeping it to yourself." Morrigan crossed her arms.

"There isn't anything else to do with our time. How about 'I spy?'" Alistair suggested.

"Pass." I said.

"This is the tower that they hold their mages? I commend them using the lake but it still needs fortifications." Sten huffed.

"Like a wall surrounding it?" I wondered.

"It would be preferred." Sten said.

"They have already corralled Chantry mages inside. There is not enough rebellion for them to stand up to their holders." Morrigan chuckled. Oh if only she knew then.

"It seems Carroll has come for us." Leliana mentioned as he rowed back. We all easily got into the bow. I still held on for dear life. I wasn't comfortable with ships or the like.

"Frightened?" Morrigan chuckled.

"Don't start rocking the boat and I'll be fine. It's all good." I cleared my throat as my fingers were already hurting.

"I won't let you drown…even if I wanted to." Carroll mumbled. Sten glared at him and he rowed faster. As soon as we hit ground, I got off and let out a sigh of relief at stability. Morrigan chuckled at my antics. We regrouped outside of the large double doors. I looked up and nearly strained my neck trying to see the top of the tower. At last, Carroll opened the doors for us and we all walked in.

He shut the door behind us and I was hit with the smell of blood, sweat, and despair. A huge amount of Templars were all waiting around. Cots and slabs were all strewn about on the floor with a few mumbling incoherently while the rest were injured and sleeping it off. It looked like the day after a mass disaster which would be the tower. Broken circle it is.

We found Greagoir talking to another Templar as we walked in. The circles under his eyes were extremely noticeable. It didn't look like he even bathed either. There was such a grand stress on top of him. Right behind him were another two double doors but they were sealed shut with a great wooden beam in front of it.

"Greagoir, why have you barred the doors?" Talen demanded.

"I specifically recall barring the doors was Templar action number two." Alistair mentioned.

"You? And here I thought you wanted nothing to do with the mage tower after your little fiasco." Greagoir talked down to Talen.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Jowan and blood magic, whatever. Now why have you barred the doors?" Talen glared. Greagoir rubbed his eyes.

"The tower is no longer safe. Abominations and demons stalk the halls. The mages are indisposed and that door is the only way they can get out. It is sealed shut for our safety and theirs." Greagoir explained. Talen glared at the double doors leading inside the mage tower.

"There has to be some mages left. This whole tower was filled to the brim with experienced Senior Enchanters, mages, apprentices! You can't let everyone in there die!" Talen pointed at the door.

"Enough! It does not matter what you say. We have already sent word to Denerim for the Rite of Annulment." Greagoir shouted. Talen's eyes grew wide and his lightly tanned face grew pale.

"This is why we cut off the tongues of the mages of Par Vollen." Sten mumbled behind me. Talen growled at him before directing his anger toward Greagoir.

"You can't do that! I won't let you kill everyone in there. Please, there has to be survivors. Let me in!" Talen pleaded.

"You would lose more than you would gain." Greagoir shook his head.

"Let me in. If I find other mages, then you have to stop the rite!" Talen put his foot down. I could see Greagoir mull over it and looked over our group.

"If you can bring forward First Enchanter Irving and if he assures me everything is safe, then I will deny the rite. _Only_ , First Enchanter Irving." He emphasized. Talen's face grew brighter with determination.

"If you guys comes with me and if we can help the tower, then the mages can be conscripted to aid the Grey Wardens." Talen explained.

"I'm coming with, if the Templars can take care of Oren." I wondered. Greagoir nodded.

"We're with you priss." Derek said as he slapped Eren's back. Alfred barked.

"I can't let innocents die." Leliana nodded.

"Better to rid the world of abominations than let saarebas run wild." Sten added.

"Are we really going in to help these fools? They have allowed themselves to be collared and controlled. I say we should instead request the Templar's aid." Morrigan said.

"If your mother didn't find you, perhaps you would be in here than out there." Eren explained. Morrigan glared at him before biting her lip.

"Mother did always say that everything happened because they were meant to be. I have always wondered this. Do as you must." Morrigan huffed.

"And, as you know, I'm not leaving anywhere so let's wrap this up nicely with a bow, shall we?" Alistair chuckled. I left Oren to a not so tired female templar and knelt down.

"We're not going to be gone long ok? These Templars will protect you if something bad happens to you." I reassured him.

"Please don't die Nia." Oren begged with tears in his eyes. I hugged him close.

"I won't die and I'll protect your uncle. I promised your grandmother. Stay here and be a good boy ok?" I asked, pulling away. He nodded while wiping his tears. I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before following the rest toward the heavy double doors. Eren laid his hand on my shoulder.

"He'll be fine." Eren nodded. I sighed before we all ushered into the mage tower. We didn't even take a few steps before finding a corpse. They had mage robes and their face was contorted with their last moments of pain. Talen led us into the apprentice quarters. In game, they never show us the nitty gritty. Maybe it was because they couldn't.

But I had to remember that this was real life to them and it was cruel. There were bodies of, not only adult mages but…children. Beds were overturned, vials were smashed, evidence of magic were all over the place. Ice, small fires, and unfinished glyphs peppered the ground and walls.

"Maker's breath…" Leliana gasped as we found a barricade with two dead teenagers, trying to protect children that were also dead. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes and wiped them quickly. This was madness.

"It looks like whatever happened here didn't discriminate." Derek said solemnly. Talen's teeth grinded as he scowled at everything. The wrinkles on his forehead grew deeper and deeper the more we saw the massacre of his once home. I heard him mumble names under his breath as we got closer to a bunk in which he looked at with sadness.

"This one was mine." He whispered. Talen then turned on his heel and got out of there. We all followed him as we walked through the hallway. Talen opened the door at the end of it. We heard a loud roar and ran in. A rage demon came through a shimmering barrier. In front of it was an old woman with none of the characteristics of a frail old woman. She left off a powerful cold spell that froze the rage demon. She grabbed her staff and whacked it. The splintered pieces were thrown about before a low guttural roar died out and the demon melted into the floor.

"Wynne!" Talen shouted in glee. We had a room filled with mostly children and very few teenaged apprentices. Wynne looked in surprise until she pointed her staff at us

"It's you. No, don't come any closer. Even if you were part of the circle, I will strike you where you stand until you explain why you are here." Wynne took a threatening stance.

"We're not here to hurt you. We're here to save the Circle." Talen showed his hands.

"Then I will take that for now. I'm sure you have already met Greagoir and his Templars." Wynne said, putting away her staff. Talen scowled.

"He explained that the mages are indisposed and that he called for the Rite of Annulment." Talen replied.

"Then he really does think we're all dead." Wynne sighed.

"What happened here? It looks as bad as…" Alistair trailed off. I knew he was going to say Ostagar.

"We had something of an uprising on our hands led by one of our Senior Enchanters, Uldred. After the loses we experienced at Ostagar, he came back a changed man. He tried to take over the circle although it didn't quite go the way he planned. Others tried to fight back but soon there were those who sided with him. I didn't sit on my laurels however. I worked with Petra and the other apprentices and we were able to save as many as we could." Wynne explained.

"Good thing dwarves can't be mages. I would hate for the deshyrs to find out about this." Derek mumbled.

"We still have a way to save the Circle. Greagoir is going to rescind his decision of the rite so long as we find Irving." Talen said. Wynne looked relieved at that.

"Then we have a goal. We must not waste time." Wynne stood up straight and went over to the small group of older apprentices.

"This is a mess. How can a mage do all of this?" Eren wondered.

"I bet all my coin to say it wasn't just him." Talen growled.

"Are you certain these saarebas can be trusted?" Sten asked.

"They're children. I don't think they can even fight against us even if they tried." Leliana defended them.

"You can never be too careful." Morrigan smirked.

"We're not killing children, period." My voice growing deeper. Morrigan scowled. After Wynne left the apprentices, she approached our group again.

"The children will be cared for. If you are ready, then it would be best to move on and quickly." Wynne nodded. Our group got closer to the barrier.

"I'm surprised you held it out for so long." Talen remarked.

"At times it made me weary but I had to hold on for the others." Wynne sighed before raising her hands up. "I am bringing the barrier down. Be on your guard." The blueish white energy of the barrier was dissolved and Derek was the first to go through, followed by Eren, Sten, and Alistair. I stayed in the middle with Alfred and Leliana. Talen, Morrigan, and Wynne made up the rear.

We passed by a few Templar corpses until we arrived at a door that would lead us into the libraries. Derek opened it and we were met with two abominations that were across a long table. Fear crept down my back as I realized that they had human faces but they had bulging sacks behind them. Their once pale human skin was turned into a mess of purples, blacks, and blues. Their mage robes hung from them as a mockery of what they once were.

They let out an inhuman howl as they charged at us. Derek flung one against the bookshelf. The other was knocked back by both Alistair and Eren. It got frozen by someone and Sten shattered it. The other got up and swung at me. I took a step back and got my daggers before it roared in my face and I hesitated for a second. An arrow went through its head and it fell to the ground.

"Well, that wasn't so-" Derek started before both of the abominations blew up. I shrieked in pain as my hands got burnt by the explosion. The only remnants of the monsters were slivers of their robes. I hissed in pain and dropped my daggers before I felt a cooling sensation. It felt like the healing energies of Talen only much more powerful. My burnt skin turned back into it's healthy pallor and only light tingling was left from the enormous pain.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked back and it was Wynne. She seemed to give me a once over with a worried expression before it hardened. She looked like a disappointed mother.

"Abominations of rage tend to explode after you kill them. I told you to be wary." Wynne said before letting me get my daggers. I touched my hair and realize that some of my points were singed. I made a disapproving sigh.

"And that's why you have these things to keep explosions from your face." Alistair chuckled while raising his shield.

"Careful or I'll accidentally miss my target the next time I throw my daggers." I glared.

"Heel missy." Derek laughed. Alfred barking with him. We walked through the destroyed library/practice rooms. Tables were turned over, books were scattered all about, vials were shattered on the floor alongside the corpses of Templars and mages. It was sad to see all of this death and destruction. I kept on watching Talen to gauge a reaction. Most of the time he would whisper under his breath but there were other times were his face would contort with a mixture of deep sadness and anger.

We found a few more abominations. Three of them launched themselves from a hallway of bookshelves. One grabbed onto Eren from behind and I plunged my knife in them. They still bled was what my first thought was. It growled and let go of Eren, only for him to stab through its body. Eren quickly flung the body away. The other two were taken care of by the others. Eren grabbed me and pressed me against the wall when the abomination exploded.

Eren was unharmed and let me go quickly. I clenched my daggers tighter as we silently made our way out of the practice hall and through another door. We were led into a circular room with the bookshelves surrounding what looked like a podium and a mini altar. Four twisted creatures and a flaming rage demon in dead center of them. It roared and they all rushed at us.

Our heavy hitters went first. Sten and Derek pushed the rage demon out of the way which gave Alistair, Eren, and Alfred a way in to fight against the others in the back. I sneaked away from the fight with the rage demon until I was right behind an abomination. I plunged both of my daggers into its back. It reared back and I quickly took out my weapons and pushed it forward into Alistair's awaiting blade.

Two locked onto me. There wasn't much room but a well-timed lighting spell paralyzed it for a second. I took my dagger and stabbed it through its eye. It fell and I raced away from it. I escaped the explosion only for Sten and Derek run into me to avoid a breath of fire from the rage demon.

"Hot! Hot!" Derek shouted as he lifted me up and carried me.

"Hey put me down!" I shouted as Derek jumped away as I saw the rage demon build up a small ball of fire.

"Fireball!" Alistair shouted before the rage demon was encased in a large icicle.

"Well do not just stand there and gawk, shatter it!" Morrigan shouted. Sten took her advice and did a great swing. The rage demon was in pieces while Derek put me down, avoiding the other blasts from the abominations.

"There we go missy, safe and sound!" Derek laughed.

"You were just running from the flames yourself…" I mumbled. After a few cold spells to put out the small fires in the bookshelves, we went up the stairs to the second floor. It got noticeably colder.

"Oooh is it a little chilly in here or is that me?" Alistair wondered. I noticed that it got darker as well and then we were stopped by a man from out of nowhere. Some of us slightly jumped. He had the symbol of the sun on his forehead. A tranquil.

"Please refrain from going into the stockroom. It is a mess and I have not had time to tidy up." He spoke in a monotone. There was no emotion on his face. It was creepy the way he stared with half lidded eyes.

"Andraste's ashes Owain, you scared us." Talen exhaled. "Besides, what are you still doing here?"

"I tried to leave and encountered a barrier. Finding no other way out, I retreated back to the stock room." Owain explained.

"Owain." Wynne gave a disapproving exhale. "You should have said something, I would have opened it for you."

"The stock room is familiar. I prefer to be here." Owain replied then I saw him emoting the best that he can. He looked down and he looked almost sad. "I would prefer not to die. I would prefer for the tower to go back the way it was." He had a far off look to his face. "Perhaps Niall will succeed and save of us."

"Enchanter Niall? What does he have to do with this?" Talen wondered.

"Yes." Owain nodded. "He came with a group of mages and asked for the Litany of Adralla."

"Shit!" Talen growled. The group looked confused.

"What's the Litany of Adralla?" Eren asked.

"The Litany of Adralla is a chant that was made to fight against blood magic." Wynne furrowed her brows. "Niall was at the meeting when Uldred took power. He would know what we were up against."

"I'm guessing blood magic is a bad thing." Derek stated.

"More than bad. Things just got worse. Owain, if you can or if you want to, go back downstairs. The barrier is down for the moment." Talen explained.

"Thank you and good bye." Owain nodded before going back to the stock room.

"The sooner we find Niall, the better." Talen said, taking charge and going ahead of the group.

"It would be best if we killed every mage in this tower. Blood magic can only ensnare their minds. It would be highly illogical to let them stand." Sten put his two cents in.

"I'm not about to kill every single mage we have left!" Talen countered before walking again.

"I would prefer to have the mages on our side even if they were few in number but…the chances are that most have already succumbed to the dark energy." Morrigan scowled.

"Don't say that! We must have hope that there are still a few that can be saved." Leliana said.

"Either way, we will not get our answers just standing around. Lead the way Talen." Eren said. We went out of the stockroom and heard voices past a see through gate. Three mages were gathered together near a few broken drawers.

"There is nothing here!"

"We need to get gold if we want to survive."

"Survive? Are you kidding me? Uldred is going to-"

"Uldred is not here now is he?!"

"Wait, I think I hear something."

Then a shade came through the wall and attacked them. They gave out screams of horror until Talen came by and scorched the shade down. Then they turned and launched spells at us. Wynne automatically gave us a barrier while Sten rammed his sword through the young boy mage. The other one used his dying breath and made himself more powerful. They made a shockwave that put some of us down. Derek was more resilient and smashed his hammer against the other one's ribcage.

All that was left was the girl. She swung her staff and focused on a small blizzard spell. Talen came forward while using his flames to keep himself warm. He knocked the staff out of her hands and shocked her. She fell down on her knees. Talen gritted his teeth.

"Why?" He growled harshly.

"Please…don't kill me Talen." She responded.

"Tell me why!" Talen screamed, nearly rushing her before Derek and Eren stopped him.

"Uldred had promised us our freedom. A place where we didn't have the Templars watching. We would have real lives." She responded as she laid on the ground.

"And you turned to blood magic? To letting demons possess your friends and family!? Look at what your stupidity has brought you! Look at the tower! The apprentices!" Talen's voice broke. He let out a shaky breath. "Nothing…nothing was worth this." He whispered harshly while glaring pure hatred at her.

"I thought out of all people you would understand." She snapped at him. "The Templars were always watching. We had to take the first step, force a change. The blood magic gave us…gave me the power to fight for what I believed in." She explained.

"You're a moron. The end never justify the means." Talen's voice was controlled rage.

"You would understand Wynne. It was just like how Andraste freed us from Tevinter." She looked at Wynne. Wynne slowly shook her head.

"Nothing you have done here is anything like Andraste." Wynne scowled. Talen let out a shuddering breath. He took one look at her before turning his back on her.

"Do what you want with her." Talen said, eerily calm. He walked past me as Sten reached for his sword.

"No, wait! Wait!" She screamed before Sten cut her down. I looked away as I felt bile rise up in my throat. I saw Talen lean heavily on the wall, clutching his staff. He nearly hugged it. His whole body was shaking.

I understood the silence in our group. From one massacre to another. From Highever to here. For Alistair and Derek, from Ostagar to here. We were watching this whole institution fall down from a man who thought himself better. Talen's entire life, his home, his friends, and family. It was all torn apart.

Talen got up from the wall, his eyes devoid of emotion. I looked at Leliana and she gave me a worried glance.

"There's no point in waiting here. Let's go." Talen said, walking as if the whole word fell on his shoulders. And there was nothing I could do for him. ****

* * *

 **Beta'd by the wonderful FearaNightmare.**

 **Woo! Heavy chapter, much feels. Sorry I couldn't update on time. I was going to update yesterday but fireworks and family kept me. Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS CHIMERA SPYKE FOR BEING THE HUNDREDTH REVIEWER! You get one spoiler question for my INQUISITION story but ask wisely. If you ask a yes or no question, you will get a yes or no answer.**

 **Shout out to exiles soul, AuhsojNala, and BrokenPainter528 for favoriting/reviewing my story!**

 **Also I'm taking a 2 week break to breath and catch up. THE NEXT UPDATE WILL BE ON JULY 19TH! Stay safe everyone. Love you! Review! :D**


	35. To Light a Flame

9:30 Wintermarch ?

After watching Sten kill the young girl mage, something in Talen snapped. We approached the mages quarters. The hallway gave me a familiar fright of horror movies. Long hallways with unopened doors with the light dimmed. I knew things were bound to jump out of those doors. Then I was proven correct when one door was nearly slammed off its hinges and two hunger abominations came out.

They were quickly snuffed out when Talen released a searing fireball at them that nearly scorched the melee fighters up front. Talen pushed past them toward the front of the group.

"Hey priss! You're only wearing robes!" Derek warned him as corpses came out of the next room. I've never seen undead but they gave me shivers of fear down my back. Skin clung to the bones, their mage robes hanging loosely from their forms. They had no lips but their teeth were sharp, ready to dig into flesh. What was most unnerving was the fact they had only sockets for eyes.

I didn't get to really observe them as Talen let out another fireball that took up most of the hallways in front of them. They continued even as they caught on fire and Talen decided to use his staff as a bludgeoning instrument though it didn't do much. Derek had enough and grabbed onto his robes and forced him behind as he, Alistair, Eren, and Sten went forward to kill the rest of the corpses.

It didn't take much as they were already reeling from the fire. After those were taken care of Eren came forward to Talen who had his head down. I expected him to get mad and yell at him so I tried to stop him but Eren ruffled Talen's hair and let him rest on his shoulder.

"I know how it feels like to lose your home and everything you loved. You are right to feel angry and to kill the ones who have done this. Try not to lose yourself though." Eren leaned away and put both of his hands on Talen's shoulders. Talen looked up with a detached look. "Push the pain down until you can grieve later. For now, we will retake your home and kill the ones responsible. We will do this as a group, you understand?"

For once there was some light in Talen's eyes. His eyes looked determined and he gritted his teeth. He nodded.

"Yeah, I'd like to have a talk with Uldred." Talen emphasized 'talk' which meant he really wanted to kill him. I don't condone revenge, I honestly don't. I'm not innocent from that either. After that small talk with Eren, we went into the mage quarters. They were a lot bigger from in game and there were several more rooms. At the end was a dresser and two rage demons.

Morrigan immediately froze both of the which allowed Derek and Sten to shatter them. They took a step back from the explosions and then I heard something scraping off the floor. In one of the middle rooms were bookshelves that looked like they were on top of each other. Then I realized it was a makeshift shelter when I heard a few whispers coming from there.

"I-Is someone there?" I heard from the shelter.

"Get out from the dresser before I blow it up." I heard Talen say.

"It's alright. We're not going to hurt anyone. We're trying to help the Circle." I said.

"Um we're kinda stuck in here." She said. Leliana and I looked at each other and also at the guy that came out of the dresser now talking to Talen.

"Derek we need some muscle over here." I said. He laughed as he came by. Sten as well. They both took the bookshelves off before someone with black hair came out with honey colored eyes. Talen came over to see what they were doing.

"Seems like we found a survivor who hid in a dresser. I recognized him and-" He did a double take at the girl. "Solana?"

"Talen!" She breathed. My heart dropped. Solana Amell, cousin to the future Champion of Kirkwall.

"Oh thank Andraste you're alright. Here, let me help." Talen went over and helped her out of the barricade…where a few children and teenagers were waiting.

"Are the abmindations gone?" One of them asked. Talen rubbed his face.

"Yes, we took care of them. Come on out." He said softly. I took a look at Solana. She had long black hair, pale skin, and a doll's face. She was a few inches taller than Talen though.

"I protected them the best I could. I'm sorry." Solana hung her head.

"Tch, don't be." Talen shook his head.

"It's good that you did all you could." Wynne came up.

"Senior Enchanter Wynne! Thank you." Solana nodded.

"It seems we have found more followers." Morrigan rolled her eyes.

"Being able to find all we can is the best thing that can happen." Eren came around the corner. "The mage isn't leaving the dresser."

"I thought so." Talen rolled his eyes.

"What are we going to do with this pretty one?" Derek wondered.

"One of us could lead her back to where the others are." Leliana suggested.

"There are others?" Solana wondered.

"We are centered in the apprentice quarters." Wynne nodded.

"But…the…" Solana fidgeted with her hands.

"Hey big guy, come with me so we can get them back to safety." Talen said to Sten. He nodded reluctantly. Solana was able to help the others out and they followed Talen out. I exhaled loudly and rubbed my face.

"He's feeling better." Wynne sighed next to me.

"From one thing to another." I mumbled, rolling my shoulders.

"This would not have happened if the fools in the Chantry tried to control them." Morrigan voiced her opinion.

"It's not because of their control that the Circle is in this state Morrigan. These are the actions of one disturbed man and those with weak minds. Do you think those apprentices or mages wanted to be turned into abominations or use blood magic?" Wynne chastised her.

"Tis because of their fear they have turned to the only tools on their person to grant them power." Morrigan snapped back.

"How about we agree to keep the fighting to a minimum until we can get things in order? Then we can fight amongst ourselves." Alistair smiled.

"I was asked to voice my opinion when you recruited me and I will not silence myself now." Morrigan glared.

"Point taken." Alistair huffed.

"The good thing in all of this is that we found survivors." I pointed out as Morrigan left the mage quarters.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you witch!" Derek cautioned.

"Leave me be!" Morrigan snapped back before exiting the room.

"I don't think we should leave her alone in an area infested with demons." Leliana said.

"Do we really have to go and get her? Can't we just say we tried and leave it at that?" Alistair pleaded.

"I think it's best that we stick together." Eren piped in from where he was leaning from. Alfred was sniffing here and there before picking up what looked to be a mage staff. He came over and wagged his butt.

"No that's not a throwing stick." I said, trying to take it away from him. He thought it was playtime and ran away.

"Alfred, come." Eren ordered. Alfred came and dropped it at his feet.

"Now where did he find this?" Wynne wondered, taking the staff from the ground, ignoring the bite and saliva.

"Is it valuable?" Derek wondered.

"Very. This is a staff from the forbidden cache we keep downstairs. Someone must have sneaked it here." Wynne sighed. "It's a powerful staff, perhaps Talen would like to use it."

"What would I like to use?" Talen wondered, coming in with Sten and Morrigan behind him.

"Alfred found a staff." Eren said and Wynne handed it to him.

"Not a bad weight." Talen felt it and the top lighted on fire. "Fire rune, not too powerful but I can switch my own for this one. Thank you."

"How are the children we saved?" Leliana asked.

"Spooked but at least they're safe." Talen said, putting down the staff he was using next to the wall. "Come on, we won't get everything done if we just stand here and talk." We got out with our positions in check. I held Morrigan in my peripheral vision. There was just something about that winning smirk that made me wonder. Did she ask Talen about the book? I wasn't sure. We came into another room where three other mages were in there.

Then we got hit with the blood magic controlling Eren. I felt something trying to wriggle into my mind as well. My vision got cloudy and I couldn't hear anything. It was like I was underwater but at the same time, my body was being moved by its own. My hands went down to my daggers and, even with the cloudiness, I felt my body ready to attack. All I could see were the spells from our mages while I walked or ran toward them.

Then there was a shimmering light from behind my eyeballs. I felt a warmth touch my mind. It felt extremely familiar. For a second, I thought Halo came to greet me. Instead, the cloudiness went away and the sounds of fighting rang clearly in my ear. Alistair was holding back Eren while two other blood mages had made a barrier around them, moving bookshelves and tables. I felt a migraine coming on before I jumped through their barrier.

They both shot me with cold wisps from their staffs and tried to whack me with them. The wisps gave me slight frost bite but they weren't strong enough to stop me from uppercutting the nearest one. They groaned in pain before I grabbed their robes and shoved my knuckles in their nose. The other was shivering from fright before I did a hammer fist on top of his temple, rendering him unconscious. After that, I felt a warm trickle of blood coming out of my nose.

"Are you alright?" Eren came toward the barricade. I nodded and wobbly made my way out of the broken bookshelves. He helped me down.

"Ugh." I shook my head out and massaged the small part of my head where I felt the migraine. "Remind me never to get mind controlled."

"If you had stayed longer in that state, I would have cut you down." Sten enforced.

"Which makes finding the Litany and Niall our top priority." Talen said. We followed the circular hallway into the storage room. Most of the supplies were strewn all around the ground and we were met with five abominations and a rage demon in the center. The rage demon flung the center table toward our group and we split to avoid it. It shattered while the abomination spread out to meet us.

I was with Eren, Alfred, and Morrigan. Two abominations rushed at us. Eren and Alfred went to meet one while I went to the other. I dodged its attacked by crouching down. It swung downward but stumbled when I rushed past it, onto its back. I dug my daggers into its back and it roared in pain. It started to buck and threw me off. I landed on a pile of rubble. I let out a cry of pain as the stone hit a weak point in my armor.

Another abomination was above me and it tried to capture me. I got up and ran. Then a GIANT spider rushed me. I screamed in terror before it rushed at the abomination and clamped down on it. I was terrified and nearly hugged the wall. I tried not to focus on the spider but the arachnophobia was causing me not to think clearly.

Eren came over to me with a worried look, parts of his armor singed by the abomination exploding. Then the spider vanished and turned into Morrigan. I felt such a relief that I fell on my knees.

"Oh spiders, I hate spiders." I naturally shivered.

"Tis only an ability." Morrigan sauntered over while Eren helped me up.

"An ability that freaked the hell out of me!" I shivered while trying to swipe off the imaginary spiders off my body. "Can't you transform into something else?" I pleaded. Morrigan had an amused smile.

"Of course I can though whether the battle permits it or not is the question." Morrigan chuckled while joining the others. I gave Eren a flat look.

"She's going to keep doing that to scare me, I know it." I let out an exasperated sigh.

"Perhaps." Eren smiled. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine just jumpy now." I pouted.

"Demons being summoned from the fade doesn't make you flinch but a giant spider does?" Eren chuckled. I glared at him before punching his arm.

"Everyone has something they're afraid of." I grumbled. "For me its spiders. Ugh." I shivered again.

"You are so odd." Eren said.

"Join the club, we have cookies." I said flatly before going over to Talen as he tried to open the storage room.

"Nope, it's locked. Unless we find the key somewhere in this mess, we won't be able to restock." Talen sighed.

"We'll make do priss. Each of us have about five potions and then there's the healing stuff with you and the Senior." Derek leaned against his propped up hammer without a care in the world.

"Excuse me?" Wynne wondered. "Senior?"

"You're a Senior Enchanter right? Not only that, you're also a senior in years." Derek chuckled.

"Don't mind him. He's always making nicknames for other people. Must be a dwarf thing." I shrugged. He wasn't the only one that did it considering Varric never really calls anyone by their given name.

"We waste time here." Sten remarked. We all got out of the mess of the storage room and entered the Chantry. There was nothing and no one in there. I found a vial that was broken on the ground with its oily black fluids around it. My eye twitched. Someone must have accidentally woken up the revenant. I saw no bodies around though, not even the revenant's.

"Weird…" I mumbled but then I noticed the temperature drop significantly.

"Whoa, did someone open a window or was that just me?" Alistair wondered. I was about to retort until I saw a hulking figure appear right behind Sten.

"Sten, DUCK!" I shouted in panic. He did so without question. Good thing too because, if he hadn't, the revenant's sword would have lopped off his head. Every step the Revenant took, another chill was added to the air. It turned its helmeted head toward me and lifted up its arm.

"Shit!" It was too late. There was a force surrounding my body and, before I knew it, I was thrown at the feet of the Revenant. It lifted its longsword to stabbed downward before it was pelted by fire and lightning. I got up to get into a safe distance but it grabbed my arm and smashed me into a pillar.

"Nia!" I heard someone call my name. The world spun and warm blood trickled down my head. I fell ungraciously to the floor. I couldn't even get up. The world span too much. I felt someone grab me and drag me somewhere else. There was a soothing sensation before I was able to shake the vertigo off. Talen nodded at me before grabbing his staff and shooting off fire at the Revenant that was battling against Eren, Derek, Sten, Alistair, and Alfred.

"Stay there for now. I managed to heal your head wound but most likely you have a concussion." Talen did a barrier for the warriors before launching another string of fire.

"So that's what happened." I rubbed my eyes. I saw Leliana was able to shoot into the Revenant's eye and neck but, even with five fighters on it, it wouldn't go down.

"Everyone, away!" Wynne called out. They all stepped away and I saw a glyph on the ground. The revenant took one step on it and froze. Morrigan came and transformed into a bear. She reached high, bit onto the head and yanked it off. The spell dispersed and the body fell to the floor. Talen helped me up. I was still slightly dizzy.

"Remind me not to get caught like that again." I groaned in pain, rubbing my head. "We definitely need some helmets." I mumbled.

"Nia, are you alright?" Eren asked, grabbing my shoulders.

"She's fine. Wynne can you heal her head?" Talen asked. Wynne came over, shooed Eren away, and placed her hands right next to my head. A strong green healing energy pulsed from her. Then, oddly enough, I started to feel a pull. It was slight but it was noticeable to me. When Wynne stopped healing at me, she gave me a confused look. The dizziness was gone permanently that time.

"You really need to stop letting yourself get caught by demons and blood magic. I heard it's bad for the body." Alistair quipped at me.

"Ha, ha. So funny." I said as I wiped the blood away from the top of my head.

We all got out of the Chantry room and continued on. The last room was Irving's study room. Oddly enough, it wasn't trashed like the other rooms. It looked pristine.

"We should look around and see if we can find anything that might help our cause." Eren said.

"I was hoping to find Irving here even though I knew it was not likely." Wynne sighed. I went toward the books. Most of them were in languages I couldn't even hope to learn. They were still very interesting. Someone tapped on my shoulder and I looked back at Wynne. "Please come with me." She said softly and she walked out. I looked back to see Leliana helping Talen with a chest while the others loitered or rested.

I followed Wynne down toward the storage room. She looked around before finding a small lockbox. She grabbed a key from her robes and opened it. Inside was a bigger key. I looked at her confused before she moved toward the storage doors and opened it. I was impressed. She motioned to follow her and I did. Inside were stairs that led down to a cavern. I awed slightly before I started to get concerned.

"Why did you bring me down here?" I asked.

"There is no time for pleasantries so forgive my bluntness, are you a mage?" Wynne asked. I blinked a few times before shaking my head.

"I'm not a mage." I said. Wynne crossed her arms.

"They why do I sense a spirit besides you?" Wynne asked. Ah and there's the medium we all know and love.

"That's…complicated." I replied.

"I do not have time for this young lady. I must know whether or not I can trust you with a spirit beside you." Wynne chastised me.

"Uh yes, sorry." I cleared my throat. "The reason I said it's complicated was because I don't know how the spirit attached itself to me. It's been there since I arrived in Ferelden. I mean, the only strange thing that happens to me is that I walk through the fade occasionally."

"Do you honestly believe that the fade is a tourist attraction? If you have no magic ability, the most you could do is dream and not control them." Wynne explained.

"I know but I swear I'm telling the truth. I do dream but sometimes I 'wake up' in the fade. You don't have to worry about my spirit, he's a good one. He's protected me against demons and things that wanted to do harmful things to me. I'm not going to do anything either. All I want to do is help." I tried reassuring her. Wynne gave me a calculating look.

"How did this happen? What can you remember?" Wynne asked.

"The only thing I really remember is that I was about to die and my spirit saved me." I answered. Wynne's look softened at that. Probably because she was thinking that the same thing happened to her.

"You will need to be careful. The spirit not only protects you but it also causes a sort of fountain like symptom." Wynne said, going over to a crate and pulling out a hood.

"A what?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Spells are much easier to cast when I am near you. You are a fountain of magical energy though it would be more accurate to call you a trickle at this point." Wynne gave the hood to me. "It is not noticeable to those who aren't as sensitive to spirits as I am but it is worrisome. You must be careful not to let your desires corrupt your spirit. I will be keeping a close eye on you Nia. Put on the hood. It is enchanted to protect against head injuries without the cumbersome effect of a helmet." Wynne explained before we came out of the storage room.

"You're not going to tell the rest are you?" I asked, putting the hood on.

"It is your secret and everyone carries one I'm sure. I won't use it against you." Wynne smiled. I nodded before we went out. The rest of the group were waiting outside of the stairs.

"About time you came back Senior and missy! We were just about to leave without you!" Derek laughed. I noticed a black grimoire hanging from Morrigan's left thigh and she gave me a smirk. She got it.

"Let's go." Wynne opened the doors and we followed her into the next floor.

* * *

 **So I was planning to write...but then Pokemon Go took my time away as well as getting the Herald trophy in Inquisition so...yeah, no writing but I did promise a chapter after the wait. The reason why I didn't update yesterday was because I actually don't like updating in odd days. I know, very weird but anyway, we finally see another origin! :D**

 **Shout out to Zaxarus for following/favoriting! Thank you Chimera Spyke ( I hope you liked your answer) and Syutaku for reviewing! PLEASE REVIEW! :D**


	36. The Sin of Sloth

9:30 Wintermarch ?

Everyone was quiet as we saw the small tendrils of flesh coming from the walls…and in the corner of the circular entrance were bodies upon bodies, charred beyond identification. I saw Talen grit his teeth and fire encased his fists automatically. While he reacted in anger, Wynne reacted in despair. She put her face in her hands before looking up with a steely look.

"We must stop this." Wynne said softly.

"I will." Talen said through clenched teeth before he shut off his fire. We followed the only opening we could as the other was barred. We entered a wide room. There were plenty of benches and tables strewn about as well as that small hint of rotten food.

"This was the mess hall. The name sounds appropriate now." Talen said dryly. There were corpses everywhere here as well. Alfred growled at one body as we got closer toward the middle. Then several of them started to get up and growl. Talen wasted no time in conjuring a flaming circle around us and burning the corpses. They still sauntered toward us though.

"Rend the head from their bodies! That is how you kill the undead." Morrigan advised us. We each did one to one corpse. Leliana was able to shatter a skull with her bow alone. Talen dispersed the fire while rubbing his head.

"You should be careful not to use so much mana Talen." Wynne said.

"Give me some food and second to rest and it'll come back to me." Talen shrugged. As we left the pile of burning undead, the other door opened. In came a levitating figure with claws, covered in robes.

"Andraste's flames! Arcane horror! Get back!" Talen shouted too late. All of our group was thrown back by a powerful force spell. The arcane horror released a black miasma that allowed the undead to rise back and added a blizzard to the entire mess hall to boot. Alfred evaded everything and bit at the robes. We all struggle to get up as the cold spell slowed us down.

Morrigan turned into a swarm of wasps and headed toward the Arcane horror. The cold burned at my face and hands. The undead were swarming toward us. Talen blasted fire at them but more kept on coming. The blizzard stopped as I saw the Arcane horror sway from the damage of Morrigan and Alfred.

"Fight!" Derek shouted. We all picked an undead and slashed, smashed, and rend the heads from the body. One scratched at my armor as its legs were slashed from it and I stomped on the head. I heard a whine as Alfred was forced back. The arcane horror pulsed and the swarm were centered in its hands until the shapeshift ended and it was holding Morrigan by the neck. She focused on the ground before a tall icicle pierced the arcane horror. It let out a horrible screech before throwing Morrigan away.

"Don't let it revive those undead!" Derek and Sten ran forward. The arcane horror did a cone of lightning, paralyzing them.

"Shit! It must have taken over a Senior Enchanter's body." Talen gritted his teeth. I looked around, trying to figure out what to do while Leliana kept on hitting it with her arrows. The arcane horror did another powerful force spell before Alistair and Eren could get closer to it. As the horror came closer to our group, I saw an opportunity.

"Someone keep it distracted!" I yelled, putting away my daggers and running to the edge of the room. I heard a fireball go off and another screech. I jumped onto the table right behind the horror. It didn't' notice me. I took out my daggers and took a deep breath. I jumped from the table and deeply embedded my daggers into its back. It screeched loudly. It penetrated my skull but I pushed myself and grabbed it around its head. It bucked while I detached one of my daggers and stabbed it into its neck.

It started to panic and sway wildly. I was losing my grip but I used the momentum from his bucking to decapitate it. I landed on top of its body. The horror's severed head flying into a large pot. I was shaky getting up and everyone was getting up from their own injuries.

"Oh man, I think I suffered some hearing damage from that last screech." I said, rubbing the inside of my ear.

"Are you mad!?" Eren yelled at me. "Do you realize what could have happened if things did not work in your favor?" He stomped over to me.

"If you didn't notice Eren we were all getting our asses whupped by the Arcane Horror, I couldn't just stand by and do nothing!" I shouted back.

"The missy is right boss." Derek grunted and cracked his back. "We were in a pickle and she did some quick thinking to get rid of it. Might have been not the best option but it did the deed." Derek said, putting away his hammer.

"You should have told me beforehand. What if I accidentally hurled a fireball at it while you were strangling it?" Talen wondered.

"Exactly." Eren huffed.

"I trust you." I looked straight at Talen. His face grew red.

"Still!" He retorted before Derek slapped my back.

"Straight forward missy I like it!" Derek laughed.

"Can we move on? I'd rather not stay here any longer." Sten mumbled.

"Don't worry, we won't tell the other Qunaris that you were nearly beaten." Leliana giggled. Sten rolled his eyes. We came into another spacious room with magical artifacts around. I found them interesting until a rage demon appeared right in front of us. A quick cold spell from Morrigan and Derek shattered it. The noise alerted a gang of hunger abominations from the next door. Five of them swarmed around us.

Sten and Alistair teamed up on one, Alfred and Derek with the other. Alfred was protecting Morrigan while Leliana stayed by Talen's side. I was next to Wynne and fought my own. A shining light wrapped around me and I felt rejuvenated. I attacked harder and faster, avoiding the abomination's sharp claws. I uppercut it but it grabbed my arm. I didn't stop and stabbed it where the heart would be. It recoiled before I kicked it and did a hammer kick on its skull. It twisted and I heard a crack. The others were done with their own enemies.

We continued from the room to the circular hallway. We checked on the first room where the hunger abominations came from. The room was unrecognizable.

"These are the Templar quarters. We might be seeing more of them later on." Wynne stated.

"I would suggest all of you to stay on the rear then. We can't have rogue Templars nullifying your magic." Alistair said. We came out of the room and continued on. We opened the next door and two Templars were in there.

"Don't kill them!" Talen ordered.

"No pressure!" Alistair shouted as he and Eren pushed back the other two. Since these men were trained in the plate armor for years, it makes sense that they weren't able to push them off their feet. Of course Morrigan transformed into a bear and rushed them. They both stumbled onto the floor. Wynne worked quickly and did a small lighting arc spell in between both of them. They grunted in pain before they stayed down. Talen went over and took off their helmets. He checked both of them and nodded.

"They're both still alive. Whether or not they'll still be controlled after they wake up is something that we can worry about later." Talen rose up. I gave a silent prayer for the two before we went on to the next room.

We were met with five controlled Templars and a desire demon controlling them. The desire demon was tall as she was beautiful in a deadly way. Her horns rose up and were carved. The flames rising up in a purple color where the hair would have been. Claws instead of hands and a perfectly sculpted body with scales and off color skin. The big hitters went up first but the desire demon cackled as she controlled two toward the back.

They were aiming for the mages. Morrigan transformed into a bear. Alfred and I focused on another one. Leliana was trying to aim but she couldn't find a non-fatal point. One Templar came through and went toward Talen and Wynne. I evaded a sword slash. I couldn't focus on them until I got rid of this one.

"Alfred, get the legs from behind!" I shouted. Alfred did as I ordered and clamped down on one knee. The Templar cried out and I pushed him over Alfred's back. He hit the stone floor with a clang until I punched my knuckles in where his ear was. He gave another muffle shout. That would keep him there for a good minute. I went back, Wynne and Talen were forced into the hallway. I looked back for a second. Everyone was getting pushed back.

"Alfred go help them!" I shouted before running toward Talen and Wynne. I went out and Leliana was using her bow as well as a small dagger to keep the Templar's attention. There were a few rips along her leather armor and a long cut on her cheek. I ran toward the Templar and jumped on his back. I wrestled to get his helmet off while he walked backwards and shoved me back into the wall. I grunted in pain before getting the helmet off.

As soon as I was able to do that, I immediately put him in a choke hold. My legs were straining to hold me against him as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He gasped but he bucked and kept on forcing me into the wall over and over again. My back was being painfully grounded into the stone until his grip weakened and we both fell to the floor. I kept holding on until his grip fell limp. I let go and got from underneath him. Wynne came to him.

"Go help the others!" Wynne said. Talen, Leliana, and I ran back into the room. Two Templars and the desire demon were left. The desire demon was battling between Sten, Alfred, and Morrigan. Alistair, Eren, and Derek were still trying to fight against the Templars and not injure them.

"Keep them occupied!" Talen shouted. "Leliana aim at the head! Get that desire demon on the ground!"

As Leliana steadied her aim, I sneaked toward the desire demon to flank her. A few arrows went past me as Morrigan grabbed onto the desire demon's leg to pull her down from her levitating act. She did a cone of cold, freezing Alfred and Sten into place. I got into position and stabbed downward, trying to pull her down. She cried out in pain before painfully grabbing onto my wrist and hoisting me up. I was a ragdoll in her hands.

"The irregularity…" She purred/growled. She hurled me away right into the two Templars but that distracted her enough and gave Morrigan the time to stand on her hind legs…and drag the desire demon to the ground. I dragged myself away from the Templars as I saw a bright fire released from Talen's staff.

"Get away Morrigan!" Talen shouted as he let loose a massive fireball right at the Desire demon. She screamed as the fire engulfed her. As soon as she died, the Templars both fell down. Wynne came dashing in and quickly doused the fires to stop them from spreading. I grunted as I laid on the ground for a second.

"Is it me or are you always getting yourself thrown?" Alistair chuckled over my head.

"Don't remind me. My back is killing me." I groaned as he helped me up. Sten shook off the last of the icy bits and gave me my daggers back with extra burn spots. I kicked off a flake of purple skin as everyone took a breather.

"Andraste's flaming breeches, how long have we been fighting for?" Talen sat down.

"Long enough to see everyone getting winded." Derek said, taking a sip of water. I sat down on a turned over bookshelf. Eren sat next to me. The constant adrenaline rushes from every battle was causing extreme fatigue.

"We will not be able to stay much longer." Morrigan rested on her staff.

"She's right. The longer we wait, the less chance we'll have to find Uldred." Wynne rubbed her eyes.

"Let's go everyone." Eren sighed, patting my shoulder and getting up. I got up and tapped on Sten's shoulder.

"I'm going to need your help for a quick second." I asked.

"What is it?" Sten wondered.

"I'm going to cross my arms like this and you pick me up and crack my back. After being flung too many times, it's getting painful." I said. "I won't be able to fight in my proper form." I explained. Sten huffed but nodded. I crossed my arms and turned so my back was facing him. He grabbed me from behind and lifted me. He shook me until I felt most of my back crack. I gave out a relieved moan as he put me back down. "Thank you." He nodded and we went out. Wynne grabbed at the door and went in.

There was a larger abomination with two shades behind it. In front of them were three tranquil who kept close together. Leliana fired off a series of shots at all of them, getting their attention. Wynne arced lighting between all of them, paralyzing them while Derek and Sten got first hit. After them, Alistair and Eren squeezed them in between their shields. I stabbed a shade in the eye, the other one got three arrows in its face. The hunger abomination threw off Alistair and Eren only to get its leg bitten through and Derek's hammer in its sack on the back.

The abomination knelt on one knee getting pelted by fire, lighting, and cold spells. It struggled to get up before Sten swung his sword high and stabbed right through its gut. It slithered down from his sword as the rest of us got away. It made a decent explosion.

"Are all of you alright?" Wynne asked.

"Yes. That was a haunting experience." A female tranquil said. "We could not save the others since our abilities have been nulled."

"Others?" Talen wondered. All three went toward a corner where fresh corpses laid. There was a hint of melancholy between all three of them.

"We saw Niall go upstairs. It would be prudent if you joined him." Another male tranquil said.

"Then let's go." Talen nodded. Alistair stepped in something squishy and it squelched against his boot.

"Ugh. This is making me sick. Why are these things growing out of the walls?" Alistair wondered as we went up.

"Perhaps the blood magic is somehow causing a reaction to make these tendrils appear." Morrigan explained.

"Whatever it is, try not to step in it." Derek chuckled. We went up the stairs. I rubbed my eyes. I felt exhausted but I also wondered what was going to happen once I meet the Sloth demon. Later on, there would also be despair demons. But this wasn't the idea as much as they say they declassified it. Just like the Chantry doesn't know there are wisdom and purpose spirits, they can't write off demons as well.

We reached the top and there were tendrils coming out of the wall. It reminded me of the Broodmother's lair later in the game. We heard a few voices coming from a room and Eren led the way. We found a Desire demon as well as a Templar that was in its complete control. Talen's eyes grew dark.

"Kill it." He stated. Leliana was first to ready her bow and struck out two arrows on the desire demon's arm before it retaliated. The Templar, given strength by the false vision, fought against Eren, Alistair, Sten, and Derek in even footing. Every single time I tried to get near the desire demon, it would attempt to freeze me or the ground I was walking on. I couldn't get a clean hit.

Then Talen came over and swatted the demon with his staff, fire burning on the end of it. He let out a fireball that nearly consumed it but it got back up. It arced in pain as Wynne's lighting hit it. Another two arrows on its chest. Talen punted it with his staff again. The desire demon levitation was weakening. Alfred charged and dragged her down. Since I was on the ground, I rolled over quickly and stabbed into the demon's eye. She melted into essence.

The Templar's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he slumped on the ground. Wynne went over to see if he was breathing. He wasn't. She said a small prayer. Alistair and Eren helped him lay fully on the ground.

"The demon's presence in his mind was too great. I'm sorry." Wynne explained.

"The sooner we find Uldred, the sooner I can explode a fireball in his face." Talen gritted his teeth. Leliana and I looked at each other with worry. We came out and decided to head toward the next room.

Where we met the Sloth demon.

"Ah visitors." It drawled. "I would entertain you but that is so tiring. Why don't you take a rest?" Something about its voice made my eyes heavy.

"You cannot expect me to lay on the…blood covered ground…" Morrigan struggled.

"Can't keep eyes open…Someone pinch me…" Alistair yawned, kneeling.

"No…you can't do this…" Talen was the first to go under. All of us started to kneel, the ground suddenly looking comfortable.

"You can't…control me…demon…" Leliana laid her head down.

"My resistance….will…" Derek slumped over.

"Stay…awake…" Eren shook his head.

"You will not…control…me…" Sten was heaving himself up before he fell. Alfred whined before falling next to me.

"Resist…or else…we're all lost." Wynne struggled on her staff.

"Why must you fight? You deserve a rest." The sloth demon said with finality. Everyone fell…but I got a jolt from the back of my head. I cried out and held it painfully. Everyone was sleeping next to me.

"What? Why am I…?" I wondered before I heard a hum of curiosity.

"What is this? Ah the irregularity. I was wondering when I would find you. Others have searched but that was too troublesome." It walked over to me. My body still felt heavy though as I tried to crawl away. "Don't worry beacon. I'm sure what you have will benefit me greatly." I leaned against the wall as I saw the body of Niall on the ground. He was so close.

"Get away from me and leave my friends alone!" I croaked out.

"Don't fight it. Just give me what I-"

The whole world turned bright. Too bright. It felt familiar but it tingled as well. Before I could figure out what was happening, I opened my eyes again. The odd green sky with the floating islands greeted me as well as Halo who was floating overhead. I got up and noticed I was in my armor not my usual clothes. I blinked a few times, expecting for those weird circles that you get when staring at something really bright. Nothing.

"What was that?" I wondered.

'Protected you. Used body as point.' Halo said as he lazily got on my head. 'Have time. Must wake others or demon will win.'

"Alright then." I got up and took a deep breath to look at my surroundings. I was on top of a hill and I looked down. It looked like ruins to me but there were two things that I knew I couldn't have dreamt up.

One was the pedestal that I found in all the dreams from playing and the second was Niall pacing around.

"There's no time like the present."

* * *

 **Yay! We're almost there! Oh man, I found a good song to write to and I'm on fire! Not literally of course!**

 **Shout out to TwinsMadness and Graywolf144 for following! Thank you Chimera Spyke and WindBeard47 (I'm glad you're liking the change!) For Reviewing! Please Review! :D**


	37. Stepping in the Nightmares

9:30 Wintermarch ?

We went down the hill. Halo was really close to me. Niall was pacing and muttering to himself. There wasn't much I heard from his rant. The more I stared the more he looked…transparent. His body was slightly see through and that wasn't a good sign. I approached slowly toward the place with the pedestal. Niall looked at me before looking down and then looked up. He got startled and recoiled.

"What? Who are you? How did you get here?" Niall asked in a flurry.

"My name is Nia and I got caught by the sloth demon." I explained.

"Oh so that's what happened. Then how did you get out of your dream? It doesn't seem like you're a mage." Niall wondered.

"It…wasn't what I wanted." I lied. I didn't have a dream in the first place. I wondered if it was going to be a dream or a nightmare.

"Well it doesn't matter even if you did escape. I've been trying for so long to get out. It's hopeless." Niall sat down on the wall of the ruins. I went over to the pedestal. "You can examine that all you like. I've tried again and again to make it work. I've studied the runes countlessly but there is nothing to be found there." Niall sighed. I looked around and Halo was nowhere to be seen. I saw the rotating runes all around us. All of them were lit up just like in the game.

"Halo, what do I do now? There aren't any fade portals or anyone to teach me to turn into a mouse or something." I whispered. Halo appeared as a tiny ball of light in front of me.

'No mouse. Touch. Concentrate. Feel.' Halo vaguely explained. I rolled my eyes. I touched one of the runes and it felt warm. There was something else. A vision for just a second of Alistair. This was the realm were Alistair was! 'Reach out with feelings, with emotions, to him.' Halo described. I kept my hand on his rune and concentrated on reaching out to him. There was a vague falling feeling, the one you got from when you feel like you're about to sleep and yet jolt awake. It was the same sensation.

I opened my eyes and I was met with a huge fortress of some kind. Everything was beautiful down to the carpet I was walking toward the pillars that were carrying the ceiling. There was sun shining through the stained glass. It portrayed Grey Wardens, griffons, and Archdemons. I didn't recognize it at all. I walked along, the fire burning quietly in the torches.

"Wow." I breathed out. Halo floated in front of me.

'Keep your guard up.' Halo mentioned. I nodded. Then I heard a loud door slam before I heard Alistair talking to a familiar voice. I looked back and I saw Alistair in fine Grey Warden armor with Duncan walking with him. He looked at me and gave me a wide grin.

"Nia! We were just talking about you. Isn't that a grand coincidence!" Alistair laughed while hugging me. I was distracted by the sudden friendliness and Duncan chuckled.

"Say Alistair, why don't you invite her along to the banquet?" Duncan asked.

"That's a great idea! Stay, please say you'll stay!" Alistair grabbed my hands.

"What banquet?" I asked.

"The banquet to celebrate killing all the darkspawn of course! Don't tell me you forgot, after all, you were there!" Alistair patted my shoulder.

"We banded all our brothers and sisters together and overthrew them all in a grand battle in the Deep Roads!" Duncan explained. "Alistair led the charge and is now Commander of the Grey in Ferelden." Duncan said proudly.

"Yep, this banquet is also in my honor. Come on, it'll be like old times! You, me, battling darkspawn, it'll be great." Alistair laughed. I shook my head.

"Alistair, we only fought against darkspawn once and I wasn't even fighting them. We didn't defeat the Archdemon, it's still out there!" I tried convincing him.

"What are you talking about? We've been fighting darkspawn for…wait, how long was it now?" Alistair wondered. There it was, the seed of doubt. Duncan patted him on the shoulder though.

"Come now Alistair, just bring your friend along and we'll forget about this." Duncan's face twitched for a second.

"Alistair try to remember, we were in the Circle trying to save the mages. We've only just begun! Hell, we barely know each other!" I kept on feeding that seed of doubt.

"Alistair," Duncan said before Alistair shook his head. His eyebrows furrowed and he blinked repeatedly.

"Wait, I remember…there was a Tower in the middle of the lake and…a demon…" Alistair stumbled.

"Yes! That's all true!" I nodded.

"So is this all a dream?" Alistair looked concerned.

"I bring you peace child and you would deny it?" Duncan backed off from both of us.

"You…you're not Duncan. He died." Alistair said with a heavy heart.

"It seems only war will satisfy you!" Duncan drew both of his swords. Alistair drew his sword and shield and I did with my daggers.

"Remember this is only a dream!" I said to Alistair as he defended against fake Duncan's swords.

"I know!" Alistair shouted back as he pushed Duncan away with his shield. Duncan's face twisted into a demonic looking one. I ran past and decked him in the nose. The fake Duncan staggered and Alistair moved in for the kill. He found a weakness in the demon's armor and stabbed him. The demon roared until Alistair removed his sword and bashed it with his shield. The vision of the ruins disappeared and we were standing in the true fade world.

"Alistair…are you ok?" I asked. Alistair wiped his eyes.

"I'll be fine. Um, try not to tell the others how easily I got trapped ok?" Alistair weakly chuckled. Then the same falling sensation came over me and I grabbed Alistair's hand. We both 'fell' back to where the original pedestal was with Niall.

"You're back and something has changed. It isn't like it was before. Things have become 'clearer' and…who is this?" Niall rambled when he came over until he noticed Alistair.

"This is Alistair, one of the Grey Wardens helping the Circle. Alistair this is Enchanter Niall." I introduced them.

"You're the one that has the Litany. Talen was looking for you after that storage keeper told us about it." Alistair described. Niall's face fell.

"Talen has come back and he's stuck here with all of us then…but seeing him here and you…that means you broke him out of the dream. How?" Niall came up to me.

"I put my hand on one of the ruins on the pedestal. I focused on it and went to his dream. Then it was just a matter of convincing him." I explained.

"So then all of us are stuck in a dream?" Alistair wondered. I nodded.

"We need to get them out. The more you stay, the stronger the sloth demon becomes." Niall answered. He went over to the pedestal. "Please show me how."

"I thought you told me that you didn't believe we couldn't get out?" I crossed my arms. Niall's face fell and then his eyes lit up.

"I know but…if there's a way to help then perhaps I could be of assistance. If you can do it, if someone without even a remote trace of magic can do it…" Niall gripped the pedestal. "Perhaps I can…"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down there. Calm breaths. Look, it's hard to figure out what we're up against. I know you want to help but we don't know what we're dealing with here." Alistair tried calming down Niall. Niall just glared at him.

"I wanted to help and that's why I got the Litany. It can help us, protect others from blood magic and demons. Instead, it found me. I couldn't…I didn't have enough power to…I can't cower away from this." Niall choked and wiped his eyes. "This was my home. I can't let it take it."

"What if I told you which dreams could be more dangerous than others?" I said. They both looked at me.

"Well, it would help but how do you know?" Alistair wondered. I thought about introducing Halo to the others. I tried looking for him but Halo always hid away when I came near them.

"I got feeling from then when I touched their runes and what their dreams might look like." I lied. I didn't like doing this. I really wanted to trust them but the Chantry made both spirits and demons dangerous…which they were but Halo wasn't like them. He protected me. He saved me. If only they could see him as he was then…but there was no point in showing them.

People fear what they can't understand.

I went over to the runes that were rotating by the pedestal. Alistair's rune was black. I noticed another one that was black as well. Most likely it was Niall's. I didn't have a dream in the first place so there was no way that a rune for me would be there. I touched every single one and got the feeling which one would be stationed there.

"Wynne's looks like she's in a battle field of some sort. Leliana is definitely in a Chantry. Sten…it seems like he's in a lake." I recited what I remembered from the games. Derek, Talen, Eren, and Alfred I wouldn't be able to make out. "Morrigan seems to be in a swamp with another older woman." I said, tracing a rune that felt like Morrigan. "I can't make out the others though, sorry."

"How are you able to do that?" Niall wondered with a curious glance. Alistair was keeping a close eye on me though. Templar training no doubt.

"I just can. There's a feeling to each and every one. If I focused hard enough, I can probably break through into their dream. Do you guys want to go now?" I asked.

"It would be best if one of us stays in case they come here too." Alistair looked at Niall.

"I want to help in any way I can. I'll have to get used to the same old scenery then." Niall sighed, leaning against a wall of the ruin. Alistair and I nodded. I held my hand out to him.

"I'm not sure if I can take you unless you're holding onto me." I said. Alistair fidgeted before taking my hand. I touched one of the runes and felt that it was Wynne's. I allowed myself to feel through and let my feeling guide me. We 'fell' again and I heard Alistair gasp before I opened my eyes. We were in a battlefield. There were people dead all around us. Weapons were scattered about and the forest was right before us. I looked up and saw the bridge in Ostagar.

This was the battlefield where Cailan's troops met with the darkspawn. There was a foreboding atmosphere as we walked the battlefield. We ended up near the back where Wynne was cradling one of the mage's head. It almost looked like he was taking a nap in her lap. There were other bodies of mages strewn about. Wynne looked helpless as we approached her.

"Wynne?" Alistair said softly. She looked up at him with empty eyes then looked at the apprentice she was cradling. "This must be where the mages were when the fighting began. The Chantry didn't want them in the fight so they were forced to be at the back."

"Stupid. Mages can turn the tide of a fight." I sighed and shook my head. I crouched down to Wynne's level. "Wynne?"

"Why are you two here?" She looked at us. She shook her head. "Never mind. Please leave."

"Wynne what is all this?" I asked.

"Death." She snapped. "Can you not see it? It's all around us. I tried." She held the apprentice closer to her. "I tried so hard to save them all but there was nothing I could do. I was powerless to stop the horde. And where were you when we needed you?" Wynne glared at Alistair. He fidgeted uncomfortably as Wynne started to cry.

"Wynne, listen to my voice, none of this is real. It may have happened in the past, yes, but you are not at Ostagar. This is just a nightmare in the fade." I tried grabbing her shoulder to console her but she swatted it away.

"Your blatant disregard to the death is unbecoming of you." She glared before shaking her head. "Leave me. I shall burn their bodies and scatter their ashes to the four corners of the world before I too lay with them. I must atone for my mistake, my failure to protect them." Wynne brushed the hair of the apprentice that was with her.

"If you do that and stay trapped in here then the apprentices that you have saved already will die or worse. Don't you remember the Circle? We came here to help you find Irving and save you all from the Rite of Annulment!" Alistair came and stood in front of her. "What about Petra and the others? Are you going to leave them too?"

"Petra? I was at the Circle when…when..?" Wynne blinked. "That's strange, my memory seems foggy."

"Think hard Wynne. You were at the Circle protecting Petra and Kinnon from the demons! We even found Solana and other apprentices!" I kept going, trying to persuade her. Wynne blinked her eyes. There was a light there for a brief second.

"Perhaps it would be best to…get away from this." Wynne said, letting down the apprentice. We helped her up and then I saw the 'dead' apprentices come to life.

"No, don't leave us Wynne. Stay, stay in the comfort of our embrace." The apprentice's words echoed.

"Foul demon, stay away!" Wynne was able to conjure her staff and immediately sent an arc of lighting through all the apprentices. I hit the throat of the one that was raised and it immediately fell. Alistair took care of two others that were paralyzed. Wynne conjured earth around her staff and punted another apprentice away. Two others came at us with fire and ice spells but Alistair brought his hands together and nullified their magic.

I came in and slit both of their throats. It was different considering I knew they were both demons. After they all died, the battlefield vanished. We were standing in the fade and Wynne rubbed her head.

"I can't believe it. That was all a dream?" Wynne sighed. I grabbed both Alistair and Wynne right before the 'falling' feeling overcame all of us. We were back at the ruins with Niall and the pedestal.

"Senior Enchanter Wynne?" Niall stood up from where he sat.

"Niall! Thank the Maker you are alive." Wynne came up and hugged him. Niall cleared his throat in the awkwardness as she let him go.

"Alive yes but we're all still trapped. I am surprised that you weren't the only one to escape your dreams." Niall said.

"What do you mean?" I wondered.

"After you left Talen and another young mage came by. They did the same thing and went to the pedestal to track down another dreamer." Niall explained. I walked over to the pedestal and noticed three more runes were turned off. Talen, Morrigan, and Wynne's. I sighed and smiled. Talen must have gotten out and helped Morrigan.

"Talen has always been an exceptional mage." Wynne smiled proudly.

"It's good. The more dreamers that break out, the weaker the Sloth demon becomes. Once you have all broken out of your dreams, we'll be able to face the Sloth demon." Niall came to the pedestal. "I believe the last rune that holds the demon might be able to be accessible once all of these stop moving. It's only a theory though." Niall shrugged.

"But one we can aim for. How do we proceed?" Wynne asked.

"Don't look at me, she's the one that's been messing with it." Alistair shrugged and pointed at me.

"We'll have to go through another dream then." I said, feeling the last three runes, I stumbled on Eren's. "Let's go here and hold onto me. You won't be able to transport to the dream unless you do." I explained. Alistair and Wynne put their hands on my shoulders. I touched the rune and focused on the dream. We went through.

I gasped when I saw the surroundings. It was Highever castle and everyone was there. All the servants, all the guards, and apparently there was a party going on. It hurt to see all of this. Too good to be true indeed. I rubbed my eyes for a second when tears welled up.

"Are you alright?" Wynne asked.

"Yeah just...memories." I exhaled before I saw Nan coming toward me.

"There you are! You are late and where are your wedding clothes? I can't believe you're wearing your armor again!" Nan berated me while grabbing my arm.

"Wait, what?" I fought against her.

"Hey! Let her go!" Alistair followed after me before Wynne stopped him.

"Let's see how the dream plays out. We must be careful until we can find Eren." I heard her say before I was whisked off toward the main hall. The guards opened the door with cheery faces. I heard everyone laughing inside. The table was set with a feast. I saw Oriana, Fergus, Eleanor, and Bryce. Eren was at the table with Oren in his lap. It was a stab to the heart when I saw them all again. I can see why Eren wouldn't want to leave. I saw Alfred in the corner with his ears plastered against his head, nipping at the people coming near him.

I knew that Alfred figured out that this wasn't real. As Eren laughed and looked over to me, I knew he was long gone. It hurt to know that this was his dream. That he was still home with the rest of his family. Eren gave Oren back to his mother and sauntered over to me with that cocky grin he used to wear.

"About time you came back and where is the gown I bought for you?" Eren wondered, putting his arm around my shoulders.

"Gown?" I wondered, not liking where this was going.

"Yes, your wedding gown! Anyway are you in your armor, we're supposed to be celebrating our big day." Eren chuckled, pushing me toward the table.

"What big day?" I asked.

"Our wedding? Don't tell me you've forgotten the ceremony we had this morning?" Eren stopped and laughed. I'm pretty sure that my eyes grew twice their size. I pulled his arm off.

"What? No, no we couldn't have gotten married. I'm already married remember! I have a husband and two kids." I explained to him. Eren's face slightly broke.

"Yes but they're dead, love. I saw the papers from Antiva. You told me you were ready to begin anew with me." Eren chuckled lightly, his face getting red. It was sweet but to think that Eren thought of me this way was unnerving.

"Your first fight already?" Fergus shouted from the table.

"Come, we can speak of this later in our room." Eren winked.

"No." I stood my ground. Eren raised an eyebrow.

"No?" He wondered.

"I told you that paper was a lie. My family is still out there. I'm not going to marry you. This," I motioned my hands toward the celebration, "Will never happen Eren. It's all a dream and you need to wake up." Eren scowled and shook his head.

"What are you talking about? You said, you promised me you'd be there for me." Eren said.

"I did but I don't love you Eren. I promised you, yes, but that was when your mom died." My voice broke. "I know you don't want to remember. I don't either but…" I swallowed the lump as Eren's face slowly realized what was happening. "There was a massacre at Highever. Rendon Howe killed everyone. We barely escaped with Oren…your parents." I put my hand up to my mouth.

"…They're dead." Eren breathed out. That was the trigger to end the dream.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare**

 **It's so odd going back to my old story to make sure my original ideas can stay. Man, I've grown and it was all for you guys! :D**

 **Shout out to redcollecter and Meghan-Amell for favoriting/following! Thank you Chimera Spyke (Yeah I hated this part of the game too), Syutaku (I'm glad you're liking the fighting scenes), and WindBear47 (I had to look up cavalier but thank you!) Please Review!**


	38. Pride Before the Fall

9:30 Wintermarch ?

Eren stumbled at his feet as all the people in his dream stood up. This was bad. Eren didn't have any sort of weapons and I didn't see Wynne or Alistair anywhere. I did my whistle and Alfred came toward me. His tongue lagged out and I smooshed his face.

"You were smart enough to figure this out huh? To protect your master." I chuckled. Alfred barked before turning toward the crowds of people that were nearing us. He growled as they came forward.

"Come don't let the food go to waste!"

"Such a happy couple!"

"Let's go Eren!"

"Yes, stay!"

"What is going on? Why is this happening?" Eren groaned, holding his head.

"Now!" I heard Alistair yell and a glyph appeared underneath us and a barrier surrounded us. The people hit at the barrier, their hands turning into claws, their faces becoming demonic. Eren collapsed to his knees as his dream shattered. Alfred and I stepped out of the barrier. I punched, kicked, and slash at all the bodies. When it was becoming too much for me, Alistair came in and bashed them with his shield.

Alfred was a beast in the literal sense as he let his mabari instincts take over. Wynne was at a safe distance throwing lighting and ice spells at the demons. Little by little they began to wane until Wynne got rid of the last one. I looked back to see Eren still collapsed on his knees with bodies of demons all over him.

The illusion ended and the bodies dispersed. I felt my heart shatter again as Highever castle was gone. I walked over to Eren as Alfred whined softly next to him. I knelt down to him and then hugged him. Tears prickled at my eyes.

"I hope you can forgive me." I whispered. Wynne and Alistair walked toward us as the land we were on dissolved and we were back with Niall.

"It's about time!" Derek yelled. Everyone was at the pedestal now. Talen, Morrigan, Sten, Leliana, and Derek were all gathered around it. They were all armored except Leliana who had on Chantry robes. Eren was in the same situation with his wedding clothes.

"Good, it seems you were all able to escape." Niall held his head and rubbed it.

"Niall was telling us that he found a way to the Sloth demon's island." Talen explained. I nodded and helped Eren on his feet. There was a dead look in his eyes. It wasn't every day you were forced to watch the death of your home twice in a lifetime.

"How?" Wynne asked.

"It would please me if this never happened again." Sten grumbled.

"I believe once all the runes have flickered off…" Niall went to the pedestal but all the runes up top were off and it wasn't rotating anymore. Niall touch the sides of the pedestal and removed the top. In the bottom was the last rune.

"Alright! Now let's go kick that sucker in the nuts!" Derek laughed. Niall had a forced smile on his face. I gulped.

"We must be cautious. The demon is extremely powerful even without our dreams to feed on. It will change its form to suit its needs. We must all work together if we are to defeat it." Wynne said.

"What about Eren and Leliana? They don't have weapons." I mentioned.

"They will have to remain far from the battle. I don't even want to think how your bodies will be if you lose your life in the fade." Wynne scrunched up her face.

"Then what are we waiting for? The sooner we are relieved of this demon, the better." Morrigan huffed. Wynne nodded.

"We won't need to hold to a part of each other here. Once I touch this rune, where we're standing will disappear." Niall mentioned. He looked pale as he touched the rune. There was a more violent vibration as we fell. We 'fell' on an island with blue spikes all around that I recognized as lyrium. We all looked around and made sure that we were all here. Niall stumbled as he saw the demon in front of us.

"What is this? Rebellious mice?" It purred.

"You will no longer trap anyone here!" Niall shouted.

"We found each other in our dreams, you cannot separate us any longer!" Leliana shouted.

"I promise to make it better this time." The demon laughed.

"How about I just light you on fire!" Talen growled.

"I'm hurt so very-"

"Let's just kill it!" Derek shouted as he ran toward him. Leliana, Eren, and I were far away from the fighting. Eren wasn't responding and Niall stumbled toward us.

"There is something…" Niall gulped. "I must tell you."

"What is it?" Leliana said.

"The Sloth demon has been using my life to power his dreams. As you can see, I do not have much time left. When you are back in the real world, take the litany from my…my body. You will be able to fight against blood magic as well as demonic possession. Wynne or Talen would be able to use it or a Templar that is skilled enough." Niall explained.

"Maybe there's something we can do to save you!" I said. "Wynne is a great healer, she can-" Niall shook his head.

"No, I've been in here too long. For you, this would have been an afternoon nap. The demon has been feeding off my energy and I am so tired. Don't forget the litany." Niall said. I heard the fighting as the Sloth demon turned into an Ogre.

"You will be known as a hero." Leliana mentioned.

"Greater danger, greater acts of heroism? Perhaps. I hope…I hope I didn't let my mother down." Niall exhaled before his fists churned with lightning. He ran into the fighting.

"Niall!" I shouted but it was futile. He ran toward the demon and the field shone with light. "Halo, is there something we can do?" I whispered.

'No. Unfortunately there is no healing for one's soul. His life will extinguish. He has made his choice.' I heard Halo say. I gritted my teeth. Then I opened my eyes. My cheek hurt from resting on the stone floor for too long and I shivered from the cold. I groaned as I pushed myself up. I heard something fall. Next to Niall was the remnants of the Sloth demon. I crawled over to him and checked his heart rate. There was none and I remembered what Halo said. We couldn't heal his soul.

I heard the others shifting behind me as I gripped Niall's robes. I wiped my eyes. I was here to change things right? Wasn't I supposed to be able to fight against fate? Wasn't I supposed to be able to save the people that couldn't be saved originally? And if I wasn't…then why was I here? I saw the book that he held. I got it and wiped my eyes.

I felt someone put their hand on my shoulder. It was Wynne. She also had a defeated look on her face. I bit my lip as I gave her the litany. I put Niall's hands together and shut his eyes. I put my hands together and prayed.

But there was a rage inside me. A rage of my uselessness. There was the fact that I wasn't able to do anything. I couldn't do anything! Niall died because I wasn't strong. There could have been a way right? There had to be! If we can find a solution for Tranquil's to find their mage powers again, couldn't there have been a way?

But Halo said no. We couldn't. I got up and my anger was at the forefront. I wanted to hurt something, anything. Frustrated tears came out of my eyes and I wiped them so hard that my eyes hurt.

"Is everyone alright?" Derek asked, breaking the silence.

"That is something…I am not going to forget." Leliana said softly.

"Truly? My so called 'nightmare' was a pitiful attempt of my mother. Such a jest." Morrigan laughed.

"There wasn't anything good in my dream." Talen mumbled.

"How about we all stop talking and get to Uldred huh?" I snapped at them.

"Slow down there missy. We need to make sure everyone is whole." Derek frowned.

"Of course everyone is fine! The Sloth demon was only using Niall's life force! And in the end Niall sacrificed his life so that it wouldn't put us through the same thing!" More frustrated tears came out as I exhaled harshly. "It…we were only down for an afternoon nap while…while the Sloth wouldn't stop feeding off Niall." I gasped for air. My chest contracted painfully. It hurt. It hurt. I clenched my fist in front of my chest.

"Then fight for him." Talen said as he came toward me and put his hands on my shoulders. His honey colored eyes burned. "He's on the list of all the ones we've lost. That's another punch for Uldred from you." I exhaled sharply.

"Then we need to get going soon because if we don't, I swear I'm going to start punching the walls." I forced my voice out. It still cracked. Talen nodded. After a few whispers of reassurement, I followed the others out while looking at Niall for one final time. "You didn't fail her Niall." I whispered. We opened the next door and followed the hallway where a drake was waiting for us.

"What's a drake doing here!?" Alistair shouted, using his shield to block the flame that came toward us.

"This is not the time for answers!" Derek ran toward the drake with Sten following him. I followed soon after, waiting for the others to gain the drake's attention. I evaded its tail before jumping and landing on its back. It reared its head back but couldn't reach me. I stabbed into its back as it bucked onto its hind legs. Big mistake. That exposed its weak underbelly. Sten, Eren, and Alistair wasted no time in stabbing into it.

The drake let out a final wail before falling over and bleeding all over the place. I got off its back and slipped on the blood. Luckily, Eren grabbed my arm to stop me from completely falling. I remember the dream that he had of me and became self-conscious. I felt my face heat up as I took my arm back.

"Thanks." I muttered while walking with the rest of the group.

"Imagine armor built with drake scales!" Derek said with awe.

"We can collect the scales later. Right now we have more pressing matters." Eren said, going to the front of the group. He gave me a look back before opening the next door.

"That dream with him…" Alistair whispered to me. I shook my head.

"Now's not the time." I said. The next room had dragonlings. They were the size of Alfred but all of them can spit fire and had sharp teeth. The thing with dragonlings though is that their scales weren't as tough as its older brethren. Because of that, a simple swipe to its neck can kill it. Wynne paralyzed all of them while each one of us took our pick. I slashed a neck of one while kicking another one away. Leliana shot at it and the others finished with their dragonlings.

I rubbed my eyes. There was a window outside and night was turning into day. We've been fighting all night and I was starting to feel it. We followed the hallway but two doors were brought down and a small horde of abominations came out. I was tackled by one to the ground who was then tackled by Alfred. One grabbed my arm and lifted me high. I grabbed my dagger and cut it off. The demon roared before being bashed by Eren's shield. He grabbed me and forced me against the wall as they exploded.

"Eren!" I harshly said. Eren gave a groan of pain before another abomination came toward us. Eren bashed it while I went behind and dug my daggers into its backside. Eren stabbed through it and left it on the ground. Another abomination blew up near me and singed my leg. I hissed in pain at the sudden heat before Eren grabbed me and forced me into a room before I heard more explosions go off in the hallway.

"That should have been all of them." Eren breathed out. I pushed myself off him. I couldn't look at him. "From what you witnessed…"

"This isn't the time Eren." I scoffed trying to regroup but Eren stopped me.

"I need to tell you how I feel." Eren said.

"For what? So I can reject you again?" I snapped. Eren looked hurt. It twisted my stomach as I turned away. "Let's go. We can't keep everyone else waiting." I joined the others who were being healed by both Wynne and Talen. Talen groaned and held his head.

"You must be careful Talen. We had a small resting period. It won't be enough to restore all your mana." Wynne said.

"I know." Talen shook his head. "Are you guys hurt?" Talen asked as Eren and I came back.

"I got singed on my leg. I'm sure Eren has the worst of it though." I mentioned. Eren came forward and Wynne healed him.

"That should be all of us then. Let us continue." Sten grunted forward.

"Wait, the apothecary was situated up here. They should have a few potions around. We can't go in unprepared." Wynne mentioned.

"Ever the thoughtful one." Morrigan chuckled.

"I don't see you trying to help witch." Derek grunted as he followed Wynne. Morrigan scowled. I leaned against the wall and Leliana stood next to me.

"…I was at peace in the Chantry. That was my dream." She said softly. I bit my lip.

"I had my family." I lied. Leliana nodded. Derek found a stash of potions as well as a rare stamina potion. We each took a sip of them and I felt my energy come back to me.

"This door should lead us to the Harrowing chamber. Since we didn't find Irving or his body in any of the other rooms, he has to be there." Wynne said. We opened the door and we all saw the purple barrier. The stench was nauseating as there were Templar bodies everywhere. Most of the bodies were in the purple barrier with one Templar who was still alive.

Cullen. His cheeks were sunken in and the bags under his eyes were huge. His face was unshaven and his eyes were bloodshot. He laughed madly for a second before he got it under control.

"This trick again? No, I will stay strong." Cullen knelt as I heard a few prayers to Andraste.

"Maker…Cullen! Cullen it's me Talen!" Talen dropped down to his knees and put his palms against the barrier. "What is with his barrier? Do you remember me? You were the Templar that was assigned to my Harrowing!"

"Don't come near me!" Cullen roared. "Ugh, if any of you is human then kill me now. They broke the others but they won't break me." Cullen's voice broke with a sob.

"Oh this is so wrong." I shook my head.

"Lyrium withdrawal. He's showing signs of it. Who knows how long he's been in there." Alistair mentioned.

"The poor thing. Here I have dried bread and jerky." Leliana tried to offer it to him.

"Don't even dare demon!" Cullen shouted. Leliana recoiled.

"Don't even try. He won't listen to us." I sighed.

"Cullen is there anyone left alive?" Talen asked.

"Left alive? What are you talking about?" Cullen glared at him.

"Irving and the other mages." Wynne said. Cullen sucked in a breath.

"They are in the harrowing chambers but the sounds coming from there…" Cullen stood up and rubbed his eyes.

"Then Uldred must be up there. Let's go." Talen got up.

"Wait! In order for this all to end you must kill everyone in there. You don't know who has changed or what they have become!" Cullen pounded on the barrier. He was little more than an animal in a cage. My heart wept for him.

"The Templar speaks the truth. Could we really trust the saarebas after the torture they've endured?" Sten said.

"Big guy has a point." Derek grumbled.

"No! We've went through too much than to kill them all!" Talen shouted. "And if you have a problem with saving the mages, there's the door." Talen pointed out. Sten huffed and Derek chuckled darkly.

"Then what are we waiting for?" Derek got his hammer ready.

"Maker turn his gaze on you. I hope your mercy hasn't doomed us all." Cullen said with so much hate. I took one look at him before following the others. We opened the door to the Harrowing chamber and we saw Uldred in the middle. He was using some sort of blood magic on one of the mages who was being held by demons.

"Do you accept my gift?" Uldred drawled out. The mage looked to be in massive pain before he nodded. He screamed as his body twisted and contorted until an abomination was before us. I saw Talen's fist glow in fire.

"Uldred!" Talen screamed.

"Ah so you are the ones that have infiltrated in my Circle." Uldred drawled with three abominations flanking him.

"You are going to pay for what you did here!" Talen shouted.

"Wait, wait! Let's not resort to violence so hastily. After all, if you accept the gift I offer you can become more than what you are! I remember you Talen, such a promising young mage. So powerful, so talented! Why if you accept what I offer, you can bring nations to their knees. Isn't that right Irving?" Uldred chuckled.

"Don't listen to him. Defeat Uldred and free us from this nightmare." Irving weakly cried out.

"And here I thought I turned you Irving. Such a shame." Uldred tsked.

"Uldred!" Talen screamed as he let out a massive fireball aimed at him. It didn't matter though as Uldred shed his human skin. Instead, we had a hulking pride demon in front of us.

"For she who trusts in the maker, fire is her water!" Leliana recited as she unleashed arrows. Wynne was right next to her, chanting the litany next to her.

"Alfred, Nia, stay with them. Protect Wynne!" Eren shouted. Alfred and I took our places next to Wynne.

"As the moth sees light and goes toward flame, She should see fire and go towards Light." Leliana chanted.

"Could you please stop with the Chantry drivel!" Morrigan rushed forward, turning into her wasp form. The pride demon unleashed whips of lightning. The melee fighters were saved by a barrier from Talen at the last minute. Then the pride demon looked at us.

"Run now!" I shoved them. The pride demon held in his hand an orb of pure electricity. It howled in pain as Derek pounded his hammer on its foot. Everyone tried to nick its hard scaly body. Talen summoned another massive fireball and it pushed back the pride demon.

"The Veil holds no uncertainty for her." Leliana shouted. The other abominations came toward us. I tackled one to the ground and beat its face in while Alfred took the other one into its jaws. Leliana took out her small dagger and beat the demon with her bow and then slashed with her dagger. Running away from the demon that I killed, I jumped and stabbed deeply into the demon's back. We all ran back from the explosion.

I saw the Pride demon kneel as everyone got their shot in. I looked at Wynne and she nodded as she chanted. I looked at Alfred and we both charged toward the Pride demon.

"And she will know no fear of death, for the Maker, Shall be her beacon and her shield, her foundation and her sword!" Leliana shouted. I did a battle cry as I stabbed into its side. It roared in pain before charging into the rest. They all took it by the horns but the Pride demon swatted them away. I still held on and climbed its back with my daggers. It unleashed another whip of energy until I reached its neck. I plunged my dagger deep into it before it grabbed me off its back.

It held me in front of it. Its three eyes boring into me. Panic made its way into me as I struggled against its grasp. I heard Eren shout before the Pride demon smirked.

"Irregularity. Yes, you should turn as well." The Pride demon cackled. 'Do you hear me!' I screamed as I heard its voice inside of my head. 'Bow to me for I am greater than you!' I held my head in pain. It felt like needles piercing inside.

'Halo…help me…' I thought before I saw light again. There was something controlling me. I felt my body break out of its grasp before falling hard onto the floor. The light left and I tasted blood inside of my mouth. The others were still fighting while I felt myself being dragged off. The pride demon's blood was making the floor sticky. Eren took my head in his hands before I coughed out. Some of my blood spattered on his face.

"Thank the Maker you're alive." Eren's voice broke.

"Potion." I coughed out. Eren quickly gave it to me and I felt better. I got up again. The Pride demon was kneeling on the ground again.

When in doubt, go for the eyes! We ran toward it with Eren bashing the Pride demon with his shield, Alistair stabbing in succession. Derek swinging his maul on its hard skin, Sten twisting his greatsword inside its flesh, and Morrigan biting at anything she could. The pride demon stared at me so I let my rage out. With a loud battle cry, I stabbed my dagger inside its eye. Talen summoned a firestorm and small fireballs began raining down on the demon. I sank my dagger more and it reared back in pain.

'A demon is that wish gone wrong.' I remembered his words. I felt pity for a second but that wouldn't stop my dagger from going in deeper past my forearm. The pride demon roared before I finally took out my arm and jumped away. I landed in a heap on the ground before the pride demon fell dead on the ground.

I sat back as the demon turned back into essence. I laid back on the stone floor. Eren stood over me before I gave him a weak smile.

"We did it." I chuckled before I erupted into full laughter and then into sobs. I covered my eyes. It was over.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare!**

 **And there we have it! I updated the pride demon's attack pattern from Inquisition. Also Baldur's Gate shout out!**

 **Shout out to ChesireTwilight, Iskandar06, and UndeadHero143 (WELCOME BACK!) for favoriting/following! Thank you Chimera Spyke and Syutaku for reviewing! I'm glad you like the emotional chapters! PLEASE REVIEW!**


	39. Time to Heal

9:30 Wintermarch ?

With the demon gone, Talen and Wynne went over to Irving and the other senior enchanters. I leaned against Eren with exhaustion, not really caring how anyone saw us in that moment. I heard a few words from their conversation but didn't focus on it. I was so tired.

"Everyone, time to go back down." Wynne said over the chamber.

"Ugh, so many stairs. Reminds me of my home." Derek grunted as he hefted his hammer back. After all of this fighting, all I wanted to do was fall asleep on the floor. I saw Talen help Irving down the stairs. Of course once we got down there, we encountered a new problem. Cullen stood up from where he knelt the first time with the barrier gone.

"So these are the mages that survived?" He growled.

"That is enough young man. We have saved First Enchanter Irving per Greagoir's orders." Wynne shut him up before he could say anything.

"Then I'll have a word with him." Cullen scoffed. It was a silent walk back. I found myself in the back watching how the others yawned and stumbled slightly. We were all exhausted. I wondered how Talen was doing when I saw Cullen go to a Templar soldier, put his hands together, and prayed. "They didn't deserve this." He quietly seethed. There was something about the way he was acting that made me stop.

He picked up a sword and with a glare on his face, went toward the group. I stepped in front of him. Now by no means am I intimidating. I am five foot and one inch. Nearly everyone, except dwarves and elves, tower over me. Same with Cullen with his Templar plate armor. He glared down at me.

"What are you thinking of doing?" I demanded.

"Nothing that you would like to know. Now-" He tried to side step but I stood in front of him again.

"If you're thinking of hurting the mages, then you've got another thing coming." My voice getting lower.

"You have no idea what they have gone through." He said through gritted teeth as he got closer to me. "They may have turned, having demons inside, hiding!"

"You're not in the right mind to make decisions like that so put the sword down." I said calmly. I noticed that everyone had already left. It was only me and Cullen. I had the upperhand though. Cullen was weak with his time spent in the barrier.

"You cannot order me. You're just a woman who knows nothing about the danger those mages possess!" Cullen berated me.

"And I know innocents when I look at them!" I stood my ground.

"Innocents!? How dare you call them innocent when their talents are the reason why so many of us have died!" Cullen shoved me but I was prepared and held my ground.

"Put the sword down!" I yelled. He growled while swinging at me. I saw it though. He swung high and I positioned myself behind him and used my knuckles to hit his knees. He knelt down and I kicked at the hand that held the sword. It clinged and slid across the floor. Cullen gave me a glare that would kill lesser people, I swear. I scowled. "I'm not even a mage and you're going to attack me.

"You're protecting them!" Cullen shouted.

"Children! The mages that are left are either the seniors, the apprentices, and children! You would kill someone who doesn't ask for this when they are born!" I argued.

"Those monsters killed off my friends! They tortured them with demonic visions until they're own withdrawal became paradise and you're asking me not to kill them!?" Cullen nearly roared as he stood over me. I stared into his eyes. They were so full with hatred.

"Yes." I stated. Cullen started to pace around and I was wondering if I should leave him there and join the others.

"They forced visions, made me think that I had…She was someone I admired greatly and yet they…I couldn't tell reality from dreams! And my friends…they…tore each other apart and…" Cullen sobbed as he collapsed against the wall. My anger dissipated. This was a broken man and I kicked myself when I forgot about it for a second.

I sighed and sat next to him. He kept on sobbing and near wailing for a good minute. I hummed underneath my breath as I heard him starting to breath regularly. He took a look at me and his anger was gone.

"Why are you still here?" He asked weakly.

"Because it looked like you didn't want to be alone." I said softly. "I lost my family a few years back. My son and daughter and my husband. I don't know where they are and I don't know if they're even waiting for me back home. In the end, I ended up in the Highever Castle working with the Couslands."

"I heard about the massacre." Cullen said softly.

"Yeah. I was there. They killed everyone in there. Me, Bryce's youngest, and his grandson escaped but I don't know about others. I can't say I lived what you lived through but…we were put into a Sloth demon's dream too. Everyone was lost in their dream or nightmares." I explained. Cullen was listening intently.

"What did you dream of?" He asked. Even if I succumbed to the Sloth demon and Halo didn't help me, I knew what I would have dreamed of.

"My family…I lost them again and I had to do it myself." I chuckled but there was no humor in it. "I don't know you. You don't know me but we're both wrecked. Please, for…Andraste's sake or the Maker's…can we stop killing?" My voice broke. I cleared it a few times before we settled into silence.

"…Fine." Cullen gulped. I sighed in relief. "But I will be telling my Commander my worries."

"That's fine." I nodded. I got up while Cullen looked away. I patted his head out of reflex. I realized what I was doing and got embarrassed. "Anyway, I'm going to go join the others so yeah. I'll see you down there."

"Thank you." Cullen said and I looked back. I think I did a tired smile and nodded. I wasn't focusing on anything as I walked back down the stairs. Before I knew it, I was down in the apprentices quarters. I followed the hallway where we entered and I saw Talen, Wynne, Irving, and Greagoir talking with each other. Someone tapped my shoulder and it was Eren. He was carrying a sleeping Oren.

"They're talking about the Circle and what to do. Wynne told us to use the apprentice rooms to sleep. We've been fighting for the whole night. We need some rest." Eren rubbed his face. I nodded. I followed him and I saw most of the children and the few mages already sleeping. This room was cleared of bodies for now. Everyone has chosen a bunk to sleep in.

I was exhausted and took off my armor. I put my pack down to get out a change of clothes but I decided against it. I used up all my power to write. Time to pass out.

9:30 Wintermarch 21st

It was hard to tell time since there weren't many windows in the tower. The only windows were high up and I doubt they had ladders that long. I was in deep sleep with no dreams, thankfully. What woke me up was a mad rush to the bathroom and a person sobbing. Once I had done my business, and they had running water fancy that, anyway, I followed the sobbing.

At first I thought It was going to be Cullen again. I followed the sound all the way toward where the downstairs storage was. On the stairs, without his signature braid, sat Talen. He looked up when he heard me. He hurriedly went up the stairs and cleared his throat.

"Ah, Nia, wh-what are you doing up? It's um…" Talen wiped his tears. I felt my heart cry to him.

"It was tough losing your home wasn't it Talen." I stated. Talen flinched.

"I'll get over it." Talen said softly.

"No you won't." I shook my head. "It's going to hurt for a while. At this point my mind is still reeling from the massacre that I experienced." I sighed and looked down. "Sometimes I wonder if I'll awake in the castle again. It won't stop hurting but over time it will hurt less."

"How do you know?" Talen's lip was quivering.

"Because even after three years it still hurts to have lost my family. It doesn't bring me to tears, most of the time, but it hurts, here." I touched where my heart would be. Talen looked crestfallen.

"Nia…I'm 18 years old. I…I had a best friend and he…betrayed me. If it wasn't for Duncan I would be a tranquil or worse! All of a sudden I'm a Grey Warden and then people come up to me expecting that I know everything to do in a Blight! The only Blights that I know of were hundreds of years ago! I feel like I have to be prepared for anything but…I'm not!" Talen let out a sharp exhale as more tears came out. "I have barely stepped out of tower for anything! I don't know anything and yet I have to know everything! What am I supposed to do? I'm just…" Talen sobbed.

"A kid." I answered. He let out a frustrated growl.

"I need to…I need to…" He couldn't breathe right so I went up and pulled him into a hug. I shushed him softly and patted his head.

"You don't need to do anything Talen. That's why we're here. If you don't understand something, then ask. If you feel lost, then find us. I know you're a Grey Warden and people are going to expect things of you but you're not the only one. You have Eren, Derek, and even Alistair will be there for you. You're not alone Talen. Right now, no one is expecting you to be strong. You lost your home, you lost your friends, you lost everything. Take a page out of my book and just let it out. You have time. For now you're not Talen the Grey Warden, you're just Talen." I consoled him. He hugged me tight and wailed into my shoulder.

There was a big weight on Talen's shoulder but it wasn't his burden to bear alone. He was lucky that he had Eren, Derek, and Alistair to be there for him. I continued patting his head and humming a small lullaby. My shoulder was soaked but I didn't mind. I can see why Talen was a compassionate person. He tried so hard to hide it but it was there. He was awkward as all young men were. It was understandable.

Finally, he started to calm down. He still hiccuped and his eyes were swollen and red. He took out a handkerchief and blew into it. He didn't look at me, he only looked at the floor. I patted his head again.

"You're doing good Talen." I said. He cleared his throat and wiped his eyes again.

"You're not going to tell anyone right?" He sighed. I chuckled and shook my head.

"No I won't. You don't have to worry about that. How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Better." He exhaled. "Thanks and sorry. I was trying to be…strong." He mumbled.

"There are times to be strong and there are times that we need to cry Talen. It's not a bad thing to cry to let things out you know?" I said. He nodded.

"Will you two need baths to be drawn?" A tranquil came up to us.

"Yeah if you can, thank you." Talen said. The tranquil nodded and went toward the rooms. "They take care of us around here. We should get the others up. I'm pretty sure it's late afternoon."

"Damn, we've been sleeping for a while huh?" I chuckled.

"Yeah." Talen smiled. I gasped and he recoiled.

"Oh my God, you actually smiled!" I giggled. Talen grew red.

"I smile sometimes!" Talen frowned.

"Rarely." I laughed. Talen scowled before smiling again.

"Anyway, we'd best get clean. We don't know when's the next time we'll have baths like this. Unless you'd prefer the freezing water outside. If you do, then you are welcome to take a dip." Talen shrugged.

"Ha, ha. So funny." I rolled my eyes. Talen and I went back to the apprentice's quarters. Everyone else was still sleeping thankfully. I took out the spare clothing I had and the tranquil called me into the woman's bathing areas. I sighed in ecstasy as I felt the warm water encompass all of my body. It felt so good, I contemplated a nap in the water but I knew I couldn't. The female tranquil brought me some herbal soap and stood until I was ready to get out. It made me bathe faster.

I used the soap to semi wash my hair at least. Then I realized that some of it was singed from the explosions. I have to ask someone to cut it shorter at least. I sighed. I barely had enough hair as it is. After I was done soaking, the tranquil gave me the towel while also putting down my clean clothes near an overturned rack.

"Um thank you. What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Thea. Here are your clothes. I must get the bath ready for the next one." She said in a monotone. I nodded while quickly drying myself. Even out of the cold, stone didn't retain much heat. I was shivering as I clothed myself in my long sleeved shirt and pants. I put on my socks and boots and came out. I found a brush on the floor and used that for my hair. I didn't have a mirror to see how it was but I didn't care. I wasn't aiming to be the next top model here.

After my bath, everyone began stirring. Not only that, my stomach began growling. I went back to my bunk and started to clean my daggers. They were scorched in certain parts but they were still sharp. After my weapons, I started to do damage control on my armor. There were a few dents but nothing that some time with a hammer won't fix. Another tranquil came by to tell me that dinner was going to be served.

"Dinner huh? We slept that much?" I wondered outloud as I grabbed the hammer from Derek's pack and started getting out the dents from my chest plate.

"Nia!" Oren came over and hugged me. I hugged him back. "Did you destroy all the abodimanations?" I laughed.

"It's abominations Oren and yes. We saved the circle." Or what's left of it anyway, I thought.

"I'm glad you didn't die." Oren hugged me again. It hurt my heart to hear that from a boy like him.

"Um…" I looked over and saw Solana. My hammer dropped. I quickly recovered though and got it. "Oren, go to Uncle Eren." Oren looked at Solana and went away to look for his uncle.

"He's cute." Solana chuckled. I nodded.

"Is there something I can help with?" I asked. She bit her lip and played with her robes. I noticed she has also changed out of the ones that were covered in filth and blood.

"Did…" She opened her mouth a few more times while her face gradually got redder. "Were you the one that found C-Cullen?" She squeaked out. Damn she was cute.

"Yeah. I'm guessing you talked to him already?" My hammer rang as I went back to my armor.

"N-No. I couldn't…he wouldn't…Something inside of him changed." She whispered. "But I'm glad you saved him."

"You like him huh." I stated. Her face grew red.

"There was, I am, there are things…I know that he's a Templar and I'm a mage…we can't…" Solana fidgeted and sighed.

"Just because you're a mage and he's a Templar doesn't account for anything. If you love someone, you might as well take a chance." I put my hammer down as I inspected my plate and it wasn't bad. "Unfortunately what you guys could have had, has changed." Solana gave me a confused look.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Cullen isn't going to be the same. He was tortured by Uldred. That sort of trauma stays with you. Be careful around him." I said. I saw Eren walked toward my bunk.

"But he knows me, he won't hurt me." She shook her head. I stared at her.

"You were hurt too weren't you?" I stood up and she flinched. She looked down.

"I saw…everyone dying and I…I'm not like Talen. I couldn't do anything." She whispered. "I could only save a few. Then the nightmares started…" She gulped. I remembered the nightmares and dreams I had to witness when we were trapped by the Sloth demon.

"We all saw horrible things but you still have your home and your life. Many don't get that. Stick to my advice and stay away from Cullen." I warned her again as I waked over to Eren.

"Where's Oren?" I asked.

"I sent him with the other young kids. We need to talk." Eren immediately said.

"I already know that but you do know that there isn't a real private place here." I crossed my arms. Eren groaned slightly before motioning me to follow him. We ended up in the practice rooms. We went behind a few overturned bookshelves. I leaned against a pillar while Eren paced and rubbed his neck.

"There is something that I've been keeping from you." Eren cleared his throat.

"You're in love with me." I stated. Eren did a double take. "Hey I know I'm oblivious as hell but I can take a hint when it's shoved in my face." I shrugged. Eren let out a long exhale as he sat down on the overturned bookshelf and put his face in his hands.

"I never wanted you to know. I came to terms of never being able to stay with you and yet…" Eren shook his head and sighed. "Those emotions don't vanish outright." I felt uncomfortable. I have never seen Eren in that light and I never will.

"When did you…know?" I wondered.

"I had a suspicion but it was confirmed when you left for Denerim that one week." He cleared his throat. Well so many things just made sense.

"Jesus Christ how did I miss it?" I laughed before Eren gave me a flat stare and I stifled it.

"I didn't want things to…" He got up and started to pace. "I didn't want things to change. Whenever I tried to, for lack of the better word, woo you, it went over your head. At first I thought you were playing hard to get until I realized that no, you are this thick headed." He chuckled.

"Hey." I pouted.

"Then of course you told me that you believe your family is still alive." Eren frowned.

"They are." I stomped my foot.

"And that came with the realization that I could never be with you." Eren stopped and stared at me. That uncomfortable feeling came back. "Do you know how much it hurt? Knowing the one thing, the one person who sees you for you, and you love for it, doesn't see you the same way. It sodding hurt like the flames that consumed Andraste." Eren scoffed as he cleared his throat again. "I was going to continue like we used to until these feelings stopped pestering me and yet…" He sighed.

"I saw the dream." I ended the sentence. Eren nodded. He rubbed his face.

"The damn demon…took what I wanted the most and made it come true. My family, my home, and you." Eren's face contorted in emotional pain. "Twisted creature. I'm glad it died." We spent a moment in silence.

"Eren you know I don't blame you right? The heart is unpredictable." I shrugged. Eren eyed me warily.

"You're not going to slap me?" Eren wondered.

"Why? I get why you didn't want to tell me and I don't blame you. I'm surprised you didn't tell me for so long but I know where you're coming from. I've been in your position a few times too." I sighed. "Even after all of this, I want you to know that you're a good friend of mine Eren. I care about you, maybe not at the point that you do for me, but it's a big deal for me. No matter what happens, I'll keep fighting on your side." I explained. Eren stared and then laughed.

"I knew it was hopeless but this rejection is…" Eren sighed softly. "I need a moment alone." I nodded and walked away. It was something that he had to go through himself. I couldn't help him anymore but Eren was strong. I knew that he'll get over this.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare!**

 **I kinda forgot how young Talen was in my last story, thrust into a world he knew nothing about except in books. Of course it would be too much but the good thing is he has the others!**

 **Shout out to FerrilsBlood for favoriting! Thank you Chimera Spyke and Undeadhero43 for reviewing! PLEASE REVIEW!**


	40. Repair

9:30 Wintermarch 21st

Eventually everyone ended up in the apprentice rooms. All the Templars, the few mages, the kids, and our group. Considering the real mess hall is body galore, the Tranquil decided to deliver the dinner where everyone was sleeping for now. It was strange to see them work so…unnerved after the whole Uldred thing. Considering that all their emotions have been cut off though, it wasn't surprising. Then I remembered that a little part of them is still 'alive' inside and they are watching themselves act like a robot.

No wonder those who have awakened never want to go back. For a split second, I wanted to tell them about the cure to Tranquility but most wouldn't believe me. Not only that, why take away the only thing keeping mages in line? In their minds at least. Something like this should have only been used as a last resort as it was before. It shouldn't have been abused.

"Thank you." I said to the male Tranquil who gave me my meal of stew, bread, and fresh fruit. They even had mead, ale, and wine. I drank my wine diluted. It gave a warm feeling in my stomach. Oren was at a separate table with the other kids. They were at least talking and having fun.

"Oh this is delicious! I'm so glad the demons didn't destroy the food." Alistair chuckled.

"The storage room was not touched although it seems that a few passages have been discovered." Wynne commented as she ate.

"Passages?" Leliana wondered.

"They were most likely created by mages who sought to flee the Circle. Unfortunately, due to the chaos, it would be hard to track them down." Wynne replied.

"I don't see why they would track them down." Talen shrugged, already asking a Tranquil for seconds. "Sometimes, mages don't belong in a tower."

"Talen you don't really believe that do you?" Wynne frowned.

"Even you know Wynne that a few hate the tower. Why not let them go and get into their own problems?" Talen said. "Isn't that what started this all anyway?"

"Be that as it may, a mage is not normal. Normal people don't accidentally start fires in their sleep." Wynne chastised and Talen's face grew red.

"Good one!" Alistair laughed while Talen glared at him.

"All this magic talk is making my beard itch. I guess I got a good story out of all of this." Derek chuckled.

"What story is that?" Leliana asked.

"I got to dream!" Derek laughed.

"Oh right, dwarves don't dream because they're not connected to the fade." Alistair asked for seconds.

"The same resistance that doesn't allow them to dream also allows them to resist against magic. Although it seems like dwarves can still be caught off-guard with demons." Wynne chuckled.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up Senior. Still, it's good you got me out of the nightmare priss." Derek slurped all of his stew down.

"You had a nightmare?" I wondered.

"Yep. I thought I was stuck in carta prison as I slowly watched my friend starve to death." Derek shuddered. "That thing really knew how to dig under your skin."

"I had a peaceful dream where I was praying in the Chantry." Leliana smiled.

"I was Warden Commander of Ferelden and…Duncan was still alive." Alistair's face fell.

"I was being hounded by a fake mother." Morrigan rolled her eyes.

"They were still alive." Sten mumbled softly.

"I was trapped in Aeonar." Talen huffed angrily.

"We all got out and that was what is most important." Eren said. "We also got the allies we wanted which is the first step in creating our army to stop the Blight."

"Nicely said boss!" Derek laughed. Wynne got up from her meal and started to talk to the few mages that survived. In total, we only had about 15 able mages to fight with us. Templars wouldn't join us because they had to take care of them. Even so, I'm glad we were able to save them and not go through the rite.

"So where are we going to head next? We still have treaties for the Dalish and the dwarves." Talen mentioned, leaning back after eating.

"Don't forget that Eamon is also a choice." Alistair piped. I left then and gathered some of the dishes which were taken by the Tranquils. I went out to the hallway where a few Templars, who skipped on eating, were hauling the bodies from the upper floors. They were all various ages from the old to the young. It made me sad looking at all the death. At the same time, I felt that part of my heart harden in order for me not to completely break. I have to say that I am slightly ashamed for it.

"What happened here was a tragedy." Leliana said as she stood next to me. "I can't believe that one man was able to rend this tower completely."

"Like Wynne said, it wasn't just one man. The possessed Uldred turned a lot of mages just so they can believe they were 'free' for a second. This was under the influence of a demon. A wish gone wrong." I explained.

"A wish?" Leliana wondered.

"Spirits wish to join the living. A demon is formed when that wish becomes twisted and wrong. Spirits are dangerous but as long as we can keep an open mind, they can help us. But we are all full of extremes, light and darkness. Love can turn into lust, purpose into desire, wisdom into pride. How we see spirits is how we twist them. We look at them with fear and loathing and they will respond and shape themselves to it." I ranted.

"You know much about spirits." Leliana eyed me.

"Reading can teach you so much." I chuckled.

"Yet all of what I know about spirits comes from the Chantry and they say that the fade houses demons of all kinds." Leliana mentioned.

"And that's wrong. Spirits can't be defined by just spirits and demons. They just are. What makes them dangerous is how we see them. We shape them even if we don't know it. If we expect a demon, we get a demon. I mean, some start off as demons and that we can't change. With the right mental fortitude though, we can get through most dangers. It's all about being careful." I shrugged.

"How do you know so much? I am very sure that your knowledge about spirits didn't all come from a book." Leliana said. There was that calculating look that she had sometimes.

"That's a secret." I winked. 'One day I'll tell you Leliana when I make sure you're not going to kill me outright.' I thought.

We decided to take this day to rest and also resupply. Derek, Eren, and Wynne went through the storage room for anything we would be able to take. Talen, Leliana, and I helped with dragging the bodies outside. I made sure to tell the apprentices to take Oren with the other kids away. They were in the storage room trying to number all the passages that escaped mages did. We were able to get all the bodies up until the third level out and burned. Talen as well as a few Templars sang the Chant for the ones that were departed. Leliana joined them while I said my own prayers silently.

Every other time when I was helping clean, I saw Morrigan deeply entrenched into a grimoire. I knew eventually that she was going to bring up the whole killing Flemeth thing. I wanted to laugh considering that Flemeth had a back-up plan for that.

Sten kept to himself. I saw him doing his routines with his sword. It kept him limber. After we got rid of the bodies, we tried to lift the bookshelves as well as recover all of the books. Some languages I recognized, most I didn't. There was a book that was similar to the common tongue but had accents that were found in the Spanish language.

"You can throw that one out. Must have been one of the mages that smuggled in Antivan romances." A Templar said. I've read antivan romances that were translated but this was actual antivan! I put it in my pack.

Alfred was following me around most of the time when we were cleaning. Oren followed me around like Alfred, helping me gather books. Sometimes I would catch him and Alfred curled up looking through the pictures. Eren was avoiding me for the most part. I didn't blame him. It would be tough for him to be around me after what I found out. It hurt too because I didn't know whether or not things were going to be the same again.

I sat down where the stairs led up to the second floor. Alfred put his head in my lap and I petted him. Of course after all of the demons we've defeated, I realized that Alfred was getting rank.

"You need a bath." I chuckled. Alfred tilted his head and whined.

"Stinky mabari." Oren made a disgusted face. We both laughed.

"I was thinking the same thing." Wynne came down the stairs. "I have gotten permission from Eren to give him a good wash."

"Awesome, make him smell floral." I chuckled. Alfred whined and started to inch himself away.

"Oh no you don't. Eren's orders." Wynne winked. Alfred followed her. "Would you be kind to help me Oren?"

"OK!" Oren laughed after Wynne as they went back upstairs. I stayed down to pick up more books. I put them on the table in the middle of the room. I was so interested in all the books here! It reminded me of libraries. I used to spend most of my after school time just reading in them. I flipped through the pages and the letters were just interesting to look at.

"You're having a lot of fun." Leliana came in the room.

"I've always been a big reader but it was different back home. There's so many different languages. I'm not even sure where to begin to understand all of this." I flipped through another one, arranging them by the letters I recognized.

"I'm sure you'll be able to eventually learn. We have much ahead of us once the Blight ends." Leliana said, getting the last of the books off the ground.

"I hope. I got this book right here because someone told me to throw it away but it's in real antivan!" I giggled. Leliana gave me a small smile.

"You don't know how to read it?" She wondered.

"I know how to speak it but not to read it." I shrugged. "It was like that with common too."

"Was it hard to learn?" Leliana asked. I shook my head.

"I had a…friend that helped me." I sighed, remembering Rael and the way he dumped our friendship.

"Lunch is ready guys." Talen opened the door from the second floor. "The mess hall is more or less clean." He shrugged. We followed him up the stairs.

"No wonder everyone is more or less fit. I can't imagine walking up all these stairs all the time." I mentioned. Talen laughed.

"We had days where a few apprentices tried to find our Senior Enchanters. We'd go up two flights only for someone to say their downstairs. We'd prank others too sometimes just so we can see them walk up and down." Talen smirked.

"Sounds like fun." Leliana giggled. Talen side glanced and hummed.

"Those were the good days." He mumbled.

"What else did you do?" Leliana wondered.

"Besides the pranks? Just the usual. Read, train, gossip." Talen described, counting it out with his fingers.

"Gossip? You?" Leliana giggled.

"No, not me. I didn't care about it but when you're in a tower where you barely left and you're around the same people all the time, they tend to talk." Talen pouted. "They made stories about everyone so it wasn't all good. Who is with who and stuff like that got tiring." Talen crossed his arms and huffed.

"But gossip can lead to information." Leliana got close to Talen and his face got red. I giggled at their antics. "Does this mean you had someone special?"

"What!? No!" Talen took a few steps away from Leliana. He rubbed his face bashfully. "I mean I've had a few girls that I liked but there was no one special." He cleared his throat. Leliana giggled and I couldn't stop from smiling goofily. "Why are you smiling?" Talen scowled.

"Oh nothing." I giggled. We finally ended up in the mess hall with Leliana often trying to get Talen riled up. It was cute to see Talen like that after what happened before. As long as he's smiling.

"Seems like you three are having fun!" Derek laughed at a table that wasn't totally destroyed.

"We moved the bodies to the next room so it isn't so crowded in here." Alistair said. We all sat down at the table as the mages and Templars started to sit down. With only three tranquil, they do make a lot of food.

"Thank you." I said as I got my soup and bread.

"You don't need to thank them. They're only tranquil." A Templar said.

"They're still people." I said.

"No they are not. First they were mages and then they proved to be more dangerous so that's why they had to be tranquiled." The Templar replied. I glared at him.

"We're not here to argue, we're here to eat." Wynne snapped at both of us. I huffed and the Templar did the same. I angrily shoved food into my mouth. How dare he! Prick.

"So have we got a destination yet?" Derek asked.

"We're either going to Orzammar next or head to Redcliffe." Eren replied.

"Ah yes Orzammar. I wonder what all the dusters are going to think when they see me, a Grey Warden. They'll shit themselves!" Derek laughed.

"Do you have family there?" Leliana asked.

"A sister. I haven't been in contact with her for a while though. Casteless aren't allowed to write back." Derek explained. "I hope she's doing well." After that, it was mostly plan building between the Grey Wardens while everyone else was quiet. Wynne was eyeing me throughout the whole lunchtime. That meant she wanted to see me.

After the lunch, we all got started on cleaning again. Not me though and apparently not Alistair either. Wynne had tapped our shoulders and motioned us to follow her. Alistair and I shrugged before being led to a mage room.

"Is something the matter Wynne? Did you eat too fast?" Alistair chuckled.

"No but there is something I wanted to confirm." Wynne looked at me. I put two and two together.

"For Christ's sake, I am _not_ a mage." I shook my head and huffed, crossing my arms.

"Wait what?" Alistair wondered.

"I have a suspicion that she might have magical talents." Wynne said.

"Nope, no magical stuff here. I am magically inept. I can't even command fire, I mean, come on!" I persuaded. Alistair eyed me warily.

"And what basis are you drawing from Wynne?" Alistair asked.

"I can't explain to you for it is her secret but may you please use your Templar abilities on her?" Wynne recommended. I took a step back.

"Is this going to do anything to me?" I glared.

"If you are a mage, you will feel the connection to the fade cut off from your abilities. You will feel weak and faint, almost in a fog." Wynne described.

"Are you sure about this? I've seen Nia fight and she doesn't fight with magic." Alistair countered. Thank you, you beautiful man.

"I have seen her block blood magic. You did see how she fought off the mind control without the Litany didn't you? Even Eren was underneath their control until we knocked them out." Wynne crossed her arms. I gulped and Alistair hummed.

"I think I remember something like that." Alistair said. Ok, I take back that beautiful man comment.

"Please Nia." Wynne gave me that pleading look. I groaned loudly.

"Fine, but I fall flat on my face, I'm blaming you." I pointed at Alistair.

"Why me?" He grumbled before he put a hand on the top of my head. "Now please tell us if you feel any sort of wooziness, it comes with the Templar territory." I waited. Then waited some more. I shrugged.

"Is something supposed to happen?" I asked. Alistair rubbed his chin like he was deep in thought.

"Well, that means you're not a mage." Alistair nodded.

"Well I had wondered…" Wynne rubbed her chin.

"So can I ask why you wanted me to do this? I don't like being in the dark. If you saw Nia as a danger, then you're going to need to explain to me. She seems like a good person and I really don't want to change that opinion unless I need to." Alistair crossed his arms in defiance against Wynne. He was actually standing up for me. Wynne looked to me. She wanted me to tell him.

"I am what you call a medium. Every mage has their talents and mine is the ability to sense spirits. Once, when I healed Nia I felt that pull of a spirit. I had wondered if she was a mage because of it. Of course she is not, though, how she has able to have a spirit next to her is beyond me." Wynne said.

"There have been stories in the Grey Wardens where if they rallied near a point where the veil was weak, spirits would help them. It could be that she did the same thing and a spirit latched onto her." Alistair said his point.

"Have you stayed into a point like that?" Wynne asked.

"I don't know." I said.

"A battlefield? Near Brecilian forest? A ruin maybe?" Alistair asked. I shook my head.

"I've never been anywhere besides Denerim and Highever." I said. "Anyway, my spirit isn't hurting anyone or me so can't we let this drop?"

"Not until we find out why it latched on to you." Wynne put her foot down.

"Great." I said flatly.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare :3**

 **One thing I forgot to add in my last story was downtime. Pulling an all nighter to fight demons will definitely require rest.**

 **Thank you Michael Storm and wolfzero7 for favoriting/following!**

 **Syutaku:** _I'm glad you loved the emotional scenes._ **  
Chimera Spyke:** _I love your introspective reviews._ **  
Grin like the Chesire Cat:** _Yeah, they were never going to get together._

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	41. The Next Task

9:31 Wintermarch 21st

"Exactly why do we need to find this out? Is this spirit going to go crazy? Because then I'd be able to get on board on that." Alistair said.

"It is because she's an anomaly that we need to find out why this is happening." Wynne countered.

"Does no one care what I think?" I huffed.

"Nia this is extremely rare. I have never heard of your abilities from a person who wasn't a mage. The sooner we can solve this, the sooner I can let you go." Wynne crossed her arms. I groaned while face palming.

"Why can't you accept that it happened ok? Not everything can be explained away by magic or science." I said. Either way, they wouldn't accept the truth.

"I'm good for that. Nia doesn't seem like she's going to be all spooky and possessed." Alistair shrugged.

"If you are not going to help us young man, then it's best if you left." Wynne ordered. Alistair gave me a surprised look.

"Alright, alright. How about I tell you the truth?" I said. They both looked at me expectantly. "I was on a burning ship and, near death, my spirit managed to save my life." Alistair looked like he believed it. Wynne, however, didn't buy it.

"Young lady it is best to tell the truth than an outrageous lie." She said.

"The burning ship part wasn't a lie though but…" I bit my lip a few times. "I can't tell you the truth because even that's unbelievable."

"Trust me, being a Grey Warden has made me immune to many unbelievable things." Alistair assured me. Wynne only looked at me expectantly. I fidgeted with my fingers as I felt the cold nervousness go through my body.

"I'm…" I let out a long and loud exhale. "I'm not from Thedas."

"You're from across the ocean? That's a very long trip." Alistair chuckled. I shook my head.

"No I…Ok we have a sorta fade back in my world. I was able to collide with a large…machine. I think I died or maybe I didn't, I'm not sure. All I know is that my spirit took me from certain death, transported me through the fade, and I ended up in Denerim. That's all I can remember at least." I ended.

"Ok that's a bit of a stretch." Alistair rubbed his neck.

"I believe you." Wynne said.

"Huh!?" Alistair and I both turned to look at her.

"But why?" I wondered.

"The fade is a wondrous and grand thing. We can't even begin to understand it let alone the workings of a spirit. Although it might seem like nonsense, something like this may very well have happened to you but I must know more. I must ask, how much have you traveled in the fade?" Wynne asked.

"Not much." I shook my head. Wynne nodded.

"Has your spirit ever answered any of your questions pertaining to how you came here?" Wynne asked. I shook my head. "Then might I suggest we both go into the fade and ask this spirit directly?"

"Go into the fade? We just got out." Alistair huffed.

"Not you. There is a way to go into the fade and be in control." Wynne mentioned.

"No." I declined.

"No?" Wynne stared hard.

"You might want to figure this out because it's new to you but Halo isn't new to me. Halo saved my life. He helped me escape the dream world of the nightmare and probably other things. Halo has been my only friend since I came to Ferelden and I'm not going to let someone who _thinks_ they know better mess with him." I put my foot down.

"I have worked with spirits and-" Wynne started.

"And so what!? I have been with Halo for the past almost 3 years and all he has ever done was try to help me get back home. He saved me from demons in the fade, protected me when I couldn't. He was there for me after the massacre." My voice broke. I cleared my throat when the lump came back. "He is my closest friend and I'm not going to let you hurt him or do anything to taint him! If you want to figure this out, then read a book or something. Halo, and I, aren't your things to dissect." I turned around and stomped my way out.

"Whoa, whoa." Alistair caught up to me and ran in front.

"Get out of my way." I glared.

"Now, now, let's not start fighting and please don't look at me like that. She wants to understand. I think we both deserve that." Alistair said. I glared at him some more.

"The thing is, you don't understand. Dealing with spirits requires an open mind. Even demons are spirits. There's no point in generalizing them as good or bad. They're grey and that means you have to look at them that way. Spirits mold into our expectations of them. The reason why Halo has remained a spirit that protects me is because I'm the only one interacting with him. If Wynne expects something horrific, then Halo might change. I'm not going to risk my only friend like that." I explained.

"It's only a spirit though. Either way, it's dangerous for being with you." Alistair started.

"Maybe but Halo is watching out for me. I'm not going to go back on his trust." I said, sidestepping him and walking away. After that talk, I went back to my bunk bed and decided to make a flow chart on what has happened so far and what could happen later on. I even cleaned up some of my entries with my quill. Can't anyone figure out the fountain pen? It would save me much cleaning, please and thank you.

The tranquil gave me back the clothes they cleaned for me. There was a huge part of me that felt extremely guilty for this. I was used to doing everything myself and sometimes for Eren. Having monotone forced maids was wrong. I went over to where they were washing the laundry.

"So um do any of you need help?" I asked.

"No." They both said.

"Oh." I wilted.

"Is there anything specific you require?" One asked.

"No. I wanted to talk if that was ok." I said.

"We have work we must do." The other said. I gave up. I was bad at small talk. I walked to my bunk when I saw Wynne standing by it. I got irritated.

"Is there something you need Wynne?" I crossed my arms.

"I am here to apologize." Wynne said sincerely.

"What?" I blinked.

"I have assumed that your spirit was causing you harm and that not all spirits are like that." Wynne sighed while her hand hovered over her chest. "I understand why you wouldn't want me to meet it."

"His name is Halo." I corrected.

"Halo then. If you'd like, the next time you encounter him perhaps you can ask him whether or not he would like us to intrude." Wynne suggested.

"We'll see. Even I don't know how or when I get to the fade when I got to sleep. It's either regular dreams or fade walking so I can't promise you anything." I said.

"Fair enough." Wynne said while walking out. I huffed in annoyance.

"Well now, it seems that you are not as pure as I thought you were." Morrigan came strolling in. The grimoire was full with vellums and she carried an inkwell and quill in the other hand.

"I didn't say I'm pure." I eyed her.

"Ah but you are, you just have not realized it yet." Morrigan chuckled. I rolled my eyes.

"How's the grimoire coming along?" I asked. Morrigan scoffed.

"The language mother used is old and archaic. Not only that, tis written in cipher. I have been able to deduce the language but tis tricky to decipher. I have been using the resources in this tower which have not been completely useless." Morrigan said, sitting down on a cracked bunk with a flat chest as her table. I sat on a bunk bed.

"I would help you but I'm shit at figuring out word puzzles." I shrugged.

"I do not need your help. I only need time." Morrigan snapped.

"Ok." I shrugged.

"There is something I am curious about." Morrigan smirked. My eyebrow raised.

"You were eavesdropping weren't you?" I stared at her.

"The walls in this tower are surprisingly thin." She explained.

"It's stone, you can't hear through it but the door was open so you caught something." I rested my elbow on my knee and put my chin in the palm of my hand. "So, what did you hear?"

"You have a spirit under your control. Twould explain a few things." Morrigan drawled.

"Like what?" I wondered.

"You broke blood control. Only mages are able to do so. You broke out of your dream, most likely with the aid of your spirit. Then the pride demon called you an irregularity. Instead of killing you, it wanted your body. It had already possessed the body of a powerful mage, what makes you so different I wonder?" Morrigan's golden eyes seemed to pierce right through me.

"If you know then please tell me. I've been called that before and I'm not sure why." I furrowed my brows.

"You mean you do not know?" Morrigan wondered.

"No and Halo won't tell me anything. The only thing I got was that I'm a beacon of sorts but I'm not sure what that means either. Wynne said that spells are easier to cast around me and Halo protects me from spirits inside the fade because they're curious about me." I explained.

"How odd." Morrigan hummed as she went through her papers.

"I don't control magic either." I added.

"I was able to discern that much." Morrigan chuckled. "Irregularity…Mother mentioned something along those lines before I set off with the Grey Wardens. Perhaps you might learn more from her should you ever meet her."

"Your mother?" I wondered even though I already knew the answer.

"Yes. She saved the Grey Wardens from the Tower of Ishal and also encouraged me to go with them." Morrigan explained. "She explained to watch for an irregularity. I thought it might have been a spirit but I would never have guessed it would be a regular woman."

"Not that regular considering that I have a spirit for a friend." I lightly chuckled.

"That is…true." Morrigan furrowed her eyebrows as she began to look through the grimoire. I figured out what was happening. She found something that had to do with how Flemeth doesn't die. I took my journal out to write down the first part when I heard all the things from Morrigan's chest clatter on the floor. I looked up and Morrigan was paler than usual and that was saying something.

"This cannot be!" She harshly whispered.

"I'm guessing you found something you weren't prepared for." I said. Morrigan gave me a horrified look.

"I-I must tell the others." Morrigan gathered her things quickly and went out the door. I was left alone in the room. I thought it out. Either we go to Orzammar, Redcliffe, or visit Flemeth.

The fact that Flemeth knew about me was worrying yet, at the same time, making me hopeful. It was just like I thought. Flemeth must have some answers for me. Here's to hoping I might be able to get some.

9:30 Wintermarch 22nd

We were going back to Ostagar and also Flemeth. The Ostagar thing surprised me. After I helped with some more cleaning, I went to sleep earlier than the rest. I rose up today with a Tranquil already preparing another bath for me which I eagerly took. As everyone started to rise, the Tranquil had prepared our own separate table in the first floor. Apparently, Greagoir didn't want the Templars to fight with us.

It was after breakfast that Derek, Sten, and Leliana went out to look for some game to replenish the food we all went through. It was a lot with four Grey Wardens. I was helping sort out the books in the second level when Alistair called me.

"We're having an impromptu meeting right now." Alistair said and I nodded. I followed him to the first level. "You're not mad at me anymore are you?"

"I wasn't ever mad at you." I said.

"Oh good! At first with all the talk with Wynne and everything I thought that maybe you were mad at me for trying to take her side." Alistair weakly chuckled.

"Well it's not your fault. The Chantry teaches you that the fade is a scary place filled with demons. They never say there are good spirits there." I said with disappointment.

"You really dislike the Chantry don't you?" Alistair said.

"I do and I'm not trying to hide it. The Chant is pretty though." I remarked.

"But why? Andraste and her followers stopped Tevinter, she freed the elves, she freed the world." Alistair explained.

"And for what? Mages are stuck in almost literal prisons, the elves are only second hand citizens which is not that far from slavery, and freed the world? If you haven't read up on your history Alistair, she may have freed the countries but we're still having wars. The world is not perfect all because she freed everyone." I shook my head. "Besides, every religious power eventually becomes corrupt." I mumbled.

"Wow, very introspective." Alistair chuckled. "Though I admit the Chantry has had its moments it still tries to bring everyone together." I gave him a flat stare.

"If you actually believe that I might have to start listening to Morrigan's opinion of you." I shook my head.

"Hey!" Alistair whined before we saw everyone else gathered around. I saw that Derek, Sten and Leliana came back.

"Good, we're all here." Derek grumbled. Sitting on a bunk with his arm in a sling and his eye bandaged, was a soldier.

"Now that you've all gathered, I would like to introduce a deserter of the royal guard." Eren said.

"You didn't have to say it like that." The man grumbled.

"Most of you aren't going to recognize him but his name is Elric Maraigne. He was part of Cailan's guard. He was supposed to die at Ostagar but ran when the fighting got tough." Derek explained.

"I had an important item. It would have been lost if I had died!" Elric explained. All the Grey Wardens glared at him.

"What's the item?" Talen wondered.

"A key." Elric took it out. "It's supposed to unlock a chest that was in Cailan's tent. He regarded it as special documents and ordered to give it to the Grey Wardens or his successor should he not survive."

"And since Loghain is a piece of duster crap, we'll be the ones to get that chest." Derek swiped the key away.

"This brings us to our next objective apparently." Eren said as he took a look at Morrigan.

"Yes. In the grimoire that I obtained, it has detailed instructions on my Mother's unnatural lifespan. She adopts a daughter with magic and, once she has been trained enough, she enters the body and takes it from within." Morrigan detailed with a disturbed look on her face.

"That is disturbing." Talen said.

"Of course, which is why one of our objectives must be to slay Flemeth before she is able to take over my body." Morrigan nodded.

"You're talking about the Witch of the Wilds! We can't just stroll into her swamp and kill her!" Alistair said. "If she can retrieve four Grey Wardens off the top of a tower with darkspawn about, how do you think we'll have a chance against her?"

"I will not have my body taken over by an old crone who is too afraid to die!" Morrigan snapped.

"Enough!" Eren shouted. Alistair and Morrigan both huffed. "We are going to Ostagar to retrieve those documents before Loghain finds them. Morrigan, can you explain why we need to slay her in the first place?"

"In order to protect myself from any further attempts from her, I will need her true grimoire. With that, I know I will be able to truly live peacefully at least if for a few years until she comes back." Morrigan explained.

"Until she comes back? She's not immortal." Talen chuckled.

"Perhaps not but I will not take my chances. Please, this is the only thing I would ask of you." Morrigan pleaded. I was kinda surprised that she was so adamant about it. I side glanced at Eren. He exhaled loudly.

"Please don't make me regret this." Eren rubbed his face.

"What? Are we actually going to kill the same person that saved us?" Alistair asked.

"A mage like her mother is dangerous if left alone." Leliana said.

"But she-" Alistair started before Eren held up his hand.

"If I really am the de facto leader then my word is final. Besides, we already have two gifted mages and I'm not going to lose one of them. We're killing Flemeth, Alistair." Eren said. Leliana had a look as Morrigan was surprised from the support.

"Since we've made that decision, I'm guessing we're about to roll out?" Derek laughed.

"Yes. Everyone, make your packs and gather your things. We're moving out. Nia, would you like to join me in saying our farewells to Oren?" Eren asked. I nodded. We both left the others to their packing. I could already sense the awkwardness as we went upstairs to the mage quarters. That's where the other kids were at too and where Oren stayed at.

Solana was there too. Her mood dropped as of recently. Word from the vine said that she tried talking to Cullen. It didn't exactly work out. I did warn her but it fell on deaf ears. Oren laughed as he came up and hugged us both.

"They've been teaching me and showing me magic! Maybe I can be a mage too!" Oren said excitedly.

"Well if you did then we wouldn't be able to see you like this." Eren said, lifting Oren up onto his shoulders.

"I wouldn't like that." Oren pouted. Eren chuckled before putting him down again. He knelt down to Oren's level.

"Oren, I know you're a young boy but you're a brave one. I've seen it in you since we left home. I don't want to make you go through another adult situation but I have to. Nia and I need to leave but we can't bring you. A battlefield is no place for a young boy like you. I have talked to Greagoir and he has given his permission to let you stay." Eren explained. Oren was nodding quietly.

"I'm sorry we have to do this Oren." I knelt down as well.

"You have to save Ferelden right?" Oren mumbled. "I can be good. Maybe you can find papa!" We both gave him reassuring smiles.

"You be good ok Oren. Make sure you eat your vegetables, to also ask for extra sheets when you're cold, and try to clean up after yourself." I listed off before Eren started laughing at me.

"Yes mama." Oren blurted out. He realized his mistake.

"It's ok Oren." I patted his head as his tears began to fall. I hugged him tightly.

"We'll see each other again ok?" My voice nearly broke and I cleared my throat. Oren was lightly sobbing by the time he went to hug Eren.

"Don't worry. He'll be safe here." Solana reassured us. We went back downstairs and I wiped my eyes.

"He'll be fine." Eren said while patting my shoulder.

"I know but." I cleared my throat. "That doesn't mean I won't miss him."

"I know." Eren sighed.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare!**

 **Wow, didn't expect all the reviews! Nice to see a few of you guys come back! It made me all nice and fuzzy inside, internet cookies for everyone! Also another breather chapter until we get going.**

 **Shout out to roon0 for following! Thank you tsohg-a-ma-i, Syutaku, WindBear7, and wolfzero7 (it was a breather chapter) for reviewing!**

 **HellaRose:** _I'm glad you're liking the rewrite! Yes, I have always tried to picture a regular person who has to fight for their lives. Welcome_ back!  
 **Undeadhero143:** _Who said I won't? I covered Rael and Solana so far.  
_ **Zomgirl47:** _Yay! I'm glad I was able to make you feel better :3  
_ **Chimera Spyke:** _When I talked to my friends about it, they say that mages would destroy the world but who really knows. Truthfully, even though Solas betrays you, I really did enjoy his teachings on spirits. Puts things in perspective. Talen will become an every greater progressive teacher later on :3_

 **Please Review! :D**


	42. Traveling part 2

9:30 Wintermarch 22nd

I sighed again as my pack rested securely on my back. I was going to miss beds and regular meals. Derek laughed as he slapped my back.

"That's the tenth time you sighed missy! Got anything on your mind?" Derek asked.

"Oren." I mumbled.

"That kid's tough. Don't worry about him." Derek laughed.

"Easy for you to say." I huffed. 'You never had kids.' I thought. We waited at the front door as everyone started to come and regroup. Talen and Wynne were right next to each other as they came.

"Is she coming with us?" Alistair asked.

"Irving has agreed to let me go with your group. I am not one to sit on my laurels." Wynne chuckled.

"Of course you decided to come." Morrigan rolled her eyes.

"Good job senior, way to live a little!" Derek did a thumbs up.

"Her healing will greatly enhance our group." Sten nodded.

"You finally speak!" Derek laughed again. Sten huffed. I saw Eren come out and nodded toward Talen. He said his thanks to Greagoir and we all filed out of the tower. We got hit with the chill and I gasped. The whole world turned white.

"Wow." The wisp of cold air was coming out of my mouth.

"It's beautiful no?" Leliana giggled. I nodded with a dumbfounded look as we went to the pier. We had to do turns since our group was big. Alfred was playing in the snow as Leliana, Alistair, I and Talen were waiting for the boat to come back.

"Are you alright Talen? You don't have to come with us. We have plenty of Grey Wardens. If you want to stay…" Alistair let that hang. Talen shook his head.

"Irving will do his best to get the Circle back on its feet. Either way, this is my responsibility. I'm a Grey Warden and we stop blights right?" Talen smirked.

"So no more Templar vs mage then? Is it only going to be me and Morrigan? She plays dirty you know." Alistair whined. Talen chuckled.

"If you'll miss it that much I'll throw fireballs at you when you want it." Talen joked and shrugged.

"Ha, ha. No I'd rather not be scorched." Alistair said.

"Still, If I knew it was going to be this cold, I would have asked a Tranquil to make something for my ears." Talen groaned as he held the points of his ears in his hands. I hummed as I went into my pack and got a long strip of cloth. I was going to use this to mend my clothes but I could get some later on.

"Stand still." I said, going behind Talen and wrapping the cloth around to cover the points of his ears. They were plastered against his head instead of sticking. The best part was the fact he would be able to still hear. "There. If I had some yarn I would make a band for you but this will have to do until it gets warm."

"Oh thanks." Talen mumbled.

"You're embarrassed." Leliana giggled. Talen's face grew red.

"I'm not!" Talen yelled. Alfred barked as the boat came back to the pier. We all got in and I clutched at the boat when Alfred jumped in and rocked it.

"Whoa! Careful Alfred, you might capsize us." Alistair chuckled.

"That isn't a good joke." I gulped.

"You're scared of the water?" Talen asked as the boatman started to row us back to the shore.

"It's not the water. Ok maybe a bit because it's freezing and I'd rather not be a meat popsicle but yes boats scared me. It's just, I've never been good in open water. You never know what might be lurking and waiting to eat you." I explained.

"Oh no what's that!" Talen pointed and rocked the boat.

"I swear to God Talen!" I got startled and reacted in holding onto Alistair for dear life.

"I don't mind the company but you're squeezing my chainmail a bit too tight." Alistair chuckled. Talen laughed his ass off, figuratively.

"Talen, I'm going to get you one of these days!" I shouted as we disembarked.

"I'd like to see you try." Talen chuckled.

"Did we miss something?" Eren's eyebrow rose as he saw us. Alistair laughed and Leliana shook her head. Alfred barked and played in the water. I saw Sten over by the trail talking to a little and grungy man.

"Who's Sten talking to?" I asked.

"Don't know. He just marched right up to him when we got back on land." Derek shrugged. We all started to walk toward Sten. He noticed our approach and joined our group as we got back on the road.

"Who was that?" Eren asked.

"Someone of importance to me but not to you." Sten said gruffly. Eren and I shared a look but let it go. Talen took out the map of Ferelden.

"We can follow the Imperial Highway down Calenhad, through River Dane and most likely get to Lothering to stock up before going down to the Korcari Wilds." Talen described.

"We won't be able to go the other way around near Gherlen's pass to go to Redcliffe?" Alistair came up.

"Didn't we decide to go to Ostagar?" Derek wondered.

"True…" Alistair pouted.

"After we go to Ostagar and settle with Flemeth, we'll direct our attention at Redcliffe." Eren decided. Alistair nodded. We continued on the Imperial Highway. The steady pace made sure that we kept warm. Wynne brought out more hoods for everyone. Morrigan denied it. How in the hell could she not feel the cold with so little clothing is beyond me.

"This is the one thing I miss the most from being underground, it's always warm! None of this snow and rain." Derek huffed.

"In Par Vollen it rains constantly but it is a warm rain that tends to the plants that are constantly growing. Even the air is humid. Nothing like this cracked and brown Ferelden." Sten added.

"Oh please, Ferelden is not that bad." Alistair countered.

"You'd be surprised how green it gets once we're past our rainy season." I said.

"Thank you." Alistair nodded.

"Orlais is beautiful during the summer, especially in Val Royeaux! The bazaar during that time is filled with rare items, jewels, fine weapons, and shoes!" Leliana got excited talking about it.

"Shoes?" Talen wondered.

"Yes! Fine ones, nothing like these unshapely boots." Leliana giggled.

"Those shapeless boots are helping you get through the snow. The others shoes would make your feet soaking wet." Eren rolled his eyes.

"There's nothing bad about wanting to feel a little pretty with some nice shoes." I defended Leliana. "I tend to go more the simpler pieces though."

"But why when you can adorn your shoes with stones? Or maybe feathers, no not after that one incident." Leliana pouted.

"How on Thedas did we get from talking about the weather to shoes?" Morrigan asked.

"I have no idea." Alistair chuckled.

"I didn't know you liked shoes." Eren side glanced at me.

"I'm not much for being feminine. I don't really like dresses, make up, or dressing up but I do love shoes. Mostly because heels make me look taller." I laughed.

"You are of short stature." Morrigan chuckled.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." I rolled my eyes.

"At least I'm still shorter!" Derek laughed. We kept on making small talk. Leliana and I got into a debate on which was better either regular heels or heeled boots. Of course I loved the heeled boots but she liked the smaller shoes. She was surprised at my foot size though. I got manly feet. After a while, Leliana started to pester Talen and I was in the back with Sten and Alfred.

"Sten, exactly why did you come to Ferelden?" I asked.

"Does it look like I was inviting your questions?" Sten glared down at me.

"Nope but I'm curious." I said.

"Of course you are." He grumbled. I kept on staring at him. He kept on ignoring me and scowling until he let out a deep sigh. "You will not stop until I answer, will you?"

"Nope." I giggled.

"The Arishok asked, 'What is the Blight?' So I came with my berasaad to answer and give him my report." Sten explained.

"Does that mean you have to go back?" I asked.

"Yes." Sten curtly replied.

"When will that be?" I wondered.

"Never. I cannot go home." Sten scowled.

"Well, you're welcome to stay with us as long as you need to Sten." I said. Sten gave me an unreadable look before nodding.

"Thank you." He answered. All those times of memorizing talks in Dragon Age is finally paying off. As it started to get dark, we camped near Lake Calenhad. The tower was still visible from where we were. We stayed in a forest area. Once we finished setting up camp, I got started on making a simple soup with the supplies from the Circle. We only had three tents, four if you counted Morrigan but she slept alone.

Wynne, Leliana, and I were all going to sleep in the same tent while the GWs were going to do their rotations in the night. I stirred the jerky and rice simple soup in the pot. The GWs were off trying to debate about how to gain allies. Eren was the one mostly directing the group. Derek always put his two cents in. Talen would throw in a few ideas and Alistair would listen before putting his opinion in.

"Orzammar will definitely rise up to the chance to help the Blight. All of us know how dangerous darkspawn are. The benefits of being underground." Derek darkly chuckled. "The only thing we've got to look out for is that some families will 'pledge' their people but still won't send them. If we are able to convince them, the Legion is also a very good support to have."

"What's the Legion?" Talen asked.

"It's called the Legion of the Dead. They're soldiers who kill darkspawn for their entire lives. Sometimes it could be a punishment, other times people go into it in order to put food on the table. They accept everyone. Casteless, warriors, blacksmiths, heh, sometimes they throw in some royalty for good measure." Derek laughed.

"I've heard about the great Legion from Duncan and a few other Grey Wardens." Alistair mentioned.

"Then that's one group we can hopefully convince to fight with us." Eren nodded.

"I think out of everyone we'll have difficulty with are the Dalish. They rarely help humans." Alistair rubbed his face.

"I'm an elf." Talen shrugged.

"You think they'll accept you just because of that?" Eren wondered.

"It's worth a shot." Talen shrugged. I went to them with two bowls in my hand.

"It'll still be hard. Dalish don't look at other elves as their people most of the time. They only trust those from other Dalish clans so unless you get a tattoo on your face that signals one of their gods, they won't join us all willy nilly." I mentioned, giving Talen and Eren their bowls while Derek got up to get some for himself and Alistair.

"How do you know that?" Eren asked.

"I talked to…Rael and he told me from experiences from other elves in the Alienage." I lied. It still hurt to talk about him. "Some clans are different. They sometimes accept elves from Alienages to join their clan but most of them see themselves as separate. They see themselves as 'true' elves and the rest of the elves as flat-ears."

"Well that throws my own heritage we can use." Talen scoffed.

"We'll find a way." I nodded. Talen chuckled.

"Who's this Rael that you talk about?" Alistair asked. My face immediately fell.

"He was a friend that saved me." I sat down next to Talen. "I don't think I told anyone but when I came to Ferelden, there was a burning ship. I ended up in the sea with lots of cuts. After, when the guards helped me, I ended up in a ditch in the city. Rael found me and took me to a healer. I got through and Rael became my first friend but I lost him." I sighed.

"How did he die?" Talen asked with Eren intently staring at me.

"OH! He didn't die." I laughed while shaking my head. "He was in trouble. On his wedding day the son of the Arl of Denerim took the woman to…play with them." I cleared my throat. "I found Rael trying to go through and save them. I helped him but in the end, Rael became scared of me. He ended the friendship."

"Is this what happened in Denerim when we fled Highever?" Eren asked. I nodded. "Why didn't you tell me?" He demanded.

"If I remember correctly, you were going through a hard time after what happened. I didn't want to make it worse." I replied.

"Why did he get scared? You're tiny and so nice!" Alistair said. Derek came by and handed food to Alistair.

"Well I went undercover and I killed everyone so they wouldn't be able to pin it on him. I actually outran the guards and convinced them I was someone else by the end. It scared him that I was able to kill so easily." I shrugged. Deep down it still hurt. I understood him. I wouldn't want to be friends with me either. All I could think in that moment was 'I need to protect him.' I never stopped to think about his own feelings.

"I never knew." Eren scowled.

"I didn't want you to know." I ended. "But that's enough of me interrupting you guys."

"Don't let it get you down missy. You were always meant to do greater things. One day he'll see what you've done for him." Derek said as I was getting up.

"Thank you Derek." I went to sit down near the fire as they went back to planning. I took out my journal from my pack and started to write. Leliana went to sit next to me.

"I overheard what happened. I'm sorry that you had to go through that." Leliana said.

"I appreciate what you're trying to do but sometimes things happen for a reason. Rael didn't want to be friends anymore but I'll always be grateful for what he did. I wouldn't be here without him." I said.

"It still hurts to lose a treasured friend." Leliana added.

"I know but I have lots more people that I grieved over already. There's no point in grieving someone who's still alive." I went to pour my own bowl and ate slowly.

"You shouldn't shut off your own emotions like that. They tend to fester and grow into a less manageable problem later on." Wynne sat next to me.

"There's really no time to play therapist in the middle of the woods." I glanced at her.

"Therapist?" She wondered.

"Never mind. I can't exactly work on my emotions when we're trying to stop a gigantic wave of darkspawn from killing everyone. We just got to keep focused on the goal in front of us." I said, finishing my food. "I'm going to the tent." I used some snow to clean my bowl and spoon before going back into my tent.

9:30 Wintermarch 23rd

It has been a day. A very long day.

Between all three of us, it wasn't that cold throughout the night. I also had a dream of the fade. I woke up and I stretched. I took a deep breath and found myself in a similar camp from the real world. I chuckled as Halo lazily floated over to me. I held out my hands to him and he landed into them.

"Thank you for your help in the Circle Halo. I'm sad we weren't able to help Niall." I sighed.

'He was a good man.' Halo nodded.

"Yeah." I agreed before Halo got out of my hands in a flash before I heard someone coming toward us.

"So this is where you spend your time." I heard and I gasped. Wynne was right in front of me. My mouth opened and closed as I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

"What in the hell?" I gasped.

"Language." Wynne chuckled. Halo kept looking at her then to me before looking confused.

"There is something…odd about your spirit." Wynne looked at Halo before he began ruffling in anger.

'You are not supposed to be here. How are you able to connect?' Halo demanded.

"Whoa Halo it's ok. This is Wynne. She's part of the group but, first things first, how in the frigging hell did you even come into the fade?" I asked.

"I am a mage. I can control how I enter based on my experience. All mages can come into the fade and remember what they have lived through. Though I strained myself in following you here." Wynne explained.

'I will allow permission Faith but should you cross my beloved, I will not hesitate.' Halo warned.

"Beloved?" Wynne and I said at the same time. Halo looked flustered at that.

"It seems you have not been entirely truthful to Nia." Wynne said. Halo floated back.

"Wynne leave Halo alone. I know you did this in order to find out about him but, as you can see, he won't hurt you unless you hurt me." I said.

"And why do you think that is? Why does he protect you? Why does he want to return you home? And how can he return you home in the first place? No one has entered the fade physically since the Tevinter mages that started the blight." Wynne countered.

"Why do you need me to ask Halo that? I trust him." I nodded. "He protects me because he wants to and he wants to return me home because that's what I want. I'm not sure how he can do it but I know he'll do it eventually." Halo floated in front of both of us.

'Why do you require this knowledge?' He asked.

"I followed the Grey Wardens so that I may be able to make a difference. All spirits are dangerous. Even you, even with your claim to protect her." Wynne stated.

'Then I will show you so you can trust me.' Halo said, his form twisting into something human like. It was a silhouette of a human without legs. I couldn't see any details though. He was still shimmering like a halo. He waved his hand and the fade changed.

And it looked just like my world. The faded green turned into a bright light. I saw cars coming and going from a stop light. The blue sky that I yearned for. I gasped and took a step back. Then I saw a recognizable van right at the stop light.

"What is this?" Wynne asked.

"This is where…where…" I gasped.

'You died.' Halo ended that sentiment as my doppelganger drove as soon as the light hit green and the 18 wheeler slammed into the driver's side. I looked away. I saw Wynne's lips pursed. I looked back and saw that time stood still. 'This is where it started. My other soul sensed the ending of her life and chose to send me to save her.'

"Your other soul? What does that mean?" Wynne asked.

'It means what it means. We were both different and then we were both the same as time grew.' Halo explained.

"But we have spirits, if people believe them, but this is on a whole other scale of what!" I said. "Spirits can't rend the physical plane and spiritual plane!"

'Unless it was on the verge of death. It was supposed to be a teleportation. From one end to another safe place. In the end, I accounted that your injuries were far greater than I had realized. You had to be healed. There was no time to pick or choose. So I jumped and brought you here. This world's magic would be able to heal you and send you home once I acquired enough power.' Halo explained.

"Ok that explains one thing but who is the other soul?" I asked. Halo's face grew loving.

'Your husband.' Halo said. It hit me right in the heart. I stumbled slightly.

"So he interfered and then you sent her here? But what exactly are you since you are a spirit from her world and not here?" Wynne asked. It was comforting but it hurt too. The realization that he sent Halo to protect me made me want to go home more.

'In our world, they would have called me fallen but in this world my role has changed. I protect her so they have deemed me Protection. Even so, my power grows the longer I spend here in the fade so that one day I may send her home.' Halo explained. I couldn't take it anymore and fell to my knees. With me on the ground, the vision vanished and we were back in the real fade.

"So I do get to go home. Oh God, thank God. Thank you Halo." I sobbed in my hands.

'My name is Acquirer but Halo will do.' Halo nodded. 'Now have you gotten your answer Holder of Faith?' I looked up to see a flustered Wynne.

"Er, yes that will do thank you." Wynne cleared her throat. Halo nodded before going back into his usual form.

'Good. I believe in mortal terms it is time to, Wake Up.'

I opened my eyes and let out a shaky breath. I blinked a few times before tears rushed down my face. There was hope. There was a chance. I put my hands to my mouth to keep myself from openly sobbing. The feeling of happiness and being loved was overwhelming. My husband saved me and Halo was going to take me home one day.

Thank God for sending me Halo and my husband. Because of them I finally get to go home. One day.

One day.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku!**

 **The first time I wrote, I wasn't sure what Halo was. It wasn't until I played Inquisition that Halo finally fleshed out in my mind. But then I didn't do him justice when I wrote all those old chapters ago. I wasn't sure what powers he would be able to grant Nia or what he could do. Eventually I dubbed him as Protection though once 'that' happens, he does begin to grow in a more human sense. His powers will also remain stable instead of going all over the place. Like he will only absorb mana and the fade seems to be in easy reach which is why mages can cast spells easier but, when they touch Nia physically, Halo takes. Of course why this happens later on!**

 **Shout out to Norgrath and Elven-in-name for following! Thank you Grin like the Cherise Cat (Sorry), Undeadhero143 (Yes it is), and Syutaku (thank you so much!) for reviewing!**

 **Chimera Spyke:** _I tend to be the optimist in my group so I would think mages in our world would make things better though everyone else has other ideas as well. I hope this answers how Halo would react to Wynne :3_  
 **WindBear47:** _Unfortunately they won't be able to meet. Solana will stay in Kinloch Hold._

 **Please Review!**


	43. Enter Suave Man: Zevran

9:30 Wintermarch 23rd

I couldn't go back to sleep after that dream. Instead, I got out of the tent and decided to train with my daggers. Alfred was awake and made his way toward me. He watched intently as I went through my routine with my daggers. There was also another person awake who was watching me. Sten.

I noticed him meditating slightly away from the camp in the snow, without his shirt. Jesus, how in the world did he do that? Anyway, I kept on training but Alfred started butting my thigh until I couldn't ignore him anymore.

"What is it? Are you hungry?" I asked. Alfred lolled out his tongue. "Come on, you're a big war dog. Go get something." I motioned toward the forest. Alfred barked and went off. I chuckled at his antics and I saw Sten get up to grab his sword. I have to admit, I did look. Qunari were…ok I'll be honest. It looked like he was sculpted by the finest hands. If only he would work on that scowl of his.

I walked closer as he swung the sword with finesse and amazing control. I was mesmerized. He let me watch until he stopped and sighed.

"Is there something you want or are you going to continue gawking at me?" Sten asked.

"I just want to say you're awesome with your sword." I said honestly.

"This is not my sword." Sten mumbled.

"So it's true then that Qunari soldiers have weapons only for them?" I asked curiously. I already knew the answer though. Sten let out a sharp exhale.

"Is that what the Tal-Vashoth told you?" Sten asked.

"Yes." I nodded. Sten continued his routine.

"Every blade is forged for that unique hand. That sword is that warrior's soul. Should one lose it, they would be seen as a deserter." Sten explained.

"Is that what happened to you?" I asked. Sten stabbed the sword into the ground.

"Why do you heckle me so? Is it a grim sort of pleasure you derive from pestering me with these questions?" Sten snapped.

"All I want to do is help." I said. Sten came and stared down at me.

"I did not ask for your help. There is no need to find it. You cannot find a single blade in a war torn country such as this. There is no point for false hope." Sten huffed, turning his back on me to go get the sword.

"You love your country and if finding your sword can help you get back, then I swear I'll find it. Even if you can't go home, you can stay here with us. I won't judge you for who or what you are." I stated. Sten grabbed the sword and put it back into its sheathe.

"Perhaps those are empty words but thank you." Sten said. Alfred came running to me with a large hare in his jaws. I sighed. I patted his head and thanked him. Alfred barked and went off to hunt for himself. Sten didn't look at me as I prepared the hare to eat. After that, I got the fire started and decided to roast it instead of making it into a soup. The sun's light shown through the trees and everyone started to get up. Wynne gave me a look before helping me prepare the hare.

"I will trust your spirit to protect you." She said quietly.

"Ok but you'll have to tell me why he called you faith." I said. Wynne nodded. Talen ate through a few bites of his bread before making the flame larger.

"If you burn it, you're eating it." I said.

"Uh huh." Talen yawned. "We'll be eating more once we reach Lothering." Talen added. I bit my lip before using my dagger to cut into the hare. It was fully cooked.

"Breakfast." I said.

"Ahh! Nothing like meat roasted to perfection!" Derek laughed, getting out of the tent. Eren followed shortly after. He glanced at me before sitting down. I took my share as well and ate silently. I saw Alfred hanging out with Morrigan. I could already hear her complaints.

"Are you alright?" Leliana asked.

"Hm? Yeah, It was just a wild dream so I'm a little out of it." I yawned. Sten's sword, Wynne's spirit, my own spirit. It was one hectic morning. We got done with eating and taking care of our armor and weapons. We put everything away in our packs and started to walk again. I couldn't help but be a little giddy from the dream and yet I was tired too. I wanted to go home now. I didn't mind helping but…

I'm not supposed to be here.

Spirits call me an irregularity, something that was impossible that became possible. I still don't know what that means. In all cases, it points to me or something to do about me. Was it the fact that I'm not part of this story or was it Halo and his power? That one spirit called him a behemoth and I just saw a little bit of his power. Something that I can't explain and he was a part of my husband too.

Little by little, I just seem to have more questions than answers. When I get back, I'll be sure to ask my husband about Halo. Until then, I have to wait. Did I mention I hate waiting?

Either way, as we walked, I was lost in my own daydream. I watched the Lake when we were close to it. We had to follow the path away from it. I was in the back with Alfred and Sten. Everyone else was making small talk. I saw a few clouds in the distance. If it was going to snow, things would get tricky. Our tents weren't made for snow.

The group came to a stop though. I knew we weren't at Lothering though. I looked at the field across and my breath stopped. Caravans, wagons, horses, and people were scattered about. It was a massacre. The Grey Wardens went toward the horror and I followed. Their wagons were overturned, destroyed or burned. The people were all dead. Barely any women corpses though. That made me shudder.

I saw a tiny hand underneath the wreckage of a wagon. I turned away before I got too emotional. Leliana also had a look of hidden horror. She was trying to hide it though. The rest were of acceptance.

"This was darkspawn." Derek knelt down and reached to what looked like a bloodstained weapon. It had speckled black blood though. "It's been some time though." He said, rubbing off the specks from the twisted weapon.

"They're starting to drift from the Korcari Wilds. This won't be the last time we'll see this." Eren deduced.

"What if they hit Redcliffe village already?" Talen asked.

"I doubt it. It would take an army of Darkspawn to breach the walls of Redcliffe castle. It's one of the most defensible lands in Ferelden." Alistair explained. "Most likely what we're seeing are the first of the scouts. Darkspawn will then find tunnels or make their own to spread. The cold season is helping deter them though. Once all this snow is gone however, we'll find more attacks. The south must be having attacks now though."

"We can't do anything to help?" Leliana asked.

"If we stopped to help every single person that had trouble, the Blight would ravage this land faster than you can say 'Andraste's Grace' or mercy." Morrigan huffed.

"She's right." Eren sighed. "The best we can do now is gather as many allies as we can and then come together to defeat the Archdemon. Once that is dead, then we can rest. Otherwise, we need to keep moving. There's no darkspawn around for now. Let's take this as a good sign." Eren said as he walked over to the path. Morrigan smirked at Leliana before following Eren.

"There is nothing we can do for the dead." Wynne sighed, rubbing her hands. She and Talen had a look and they both nodded.

"Let's go." I said. Leliana was quiet as we went back to the trail. I heard magic performing at my back as well as warmth. Talen and Wynne followed behind us as we left everything to burn. Whoever they were, they at least were able to turn into ashes like Andraste. I said my prayer for them as we continued walking.

All's fair in love and war? No. Nothing is fair in war.

After we encountered that, everyone was in a sullen mood. Well, mostly everyone. I've noticed that Morrigan has been hanging near Eren after we left the Circle. Him agreeing with her seemed to put her in a good mood. It kinda annoyed me really.

As we walked, we saw a woman sobbing in the middle of the road. When she saw our group, she immediately ran to us.

"Thank Andraste! You have weapons yes? Please you must help my caravan!" She begged us.

"What was your caravan attacked by?" Eren asked.

"It was bandits! I was the only one that got away but my family was there, please!" She pleaded.

"Well we have to go through this spot anyway." Derek shrugged.

"Oh thank you kind Sers! It was this way!" She ran off while we followed her. Of course warning signs started to come up in my head. Once you have your first ally for the Grey Wardens, the group gets ambushed by Zevran and we can get the chance to recruit him. I did give her the benefit of the doubt as we ran to catch up to her. At a corner, she started to walk toward what looked like to be a few wagons that were overturned. One lone man was waiting there for her.

One lone, extremely familiar looking elven man. I took a step back when she turned back to look at us. We were surrounded as more assassins came out from the hills. We heard an explosion and a large log came toward us. We all rolled or leaped away.

"The Grey Wardens die here!" I heard Zevran shout. A fireball went toward us until Wynne held a protective barrier.

"Take care of the ones on the hills, Morrigan, Wynne, Leliana!" Eren shouted. He was barely able to get his shield up when Zevran singled him out. Alistair ran past to get at the mage girl at the end. I went to follow him before a guy jumped down from the hill in front of me. I side stepped and immediately kicked at his back. Sten came and started to fight with him. Alistair grabbed the mage girl and stopped her magic.

I groaned in pain as an arrow caught my arm. I growled as I ran past Alistair. I jumped over the tripwire. The archer aimed at me but I tackled him to the ground. I rammed my knuckles into his face and knocked him out. I side stepped a few arrows before a cloud of wasps got the two other archers in front of me.

"Boss!" Derek shouted, hammering away another assassin. Eren was on the ground, he lost his shield. Zevran was not letting up his attacks. Alfred barked and lunged at Zevran but he kicked him away. Talen threw a fireball at the remaining archers. I jumped and rolled across the ground before sprinting and tackling Zevran. We rolled around before I punched his throat. He coughed before slashing at my face. I felt a sting before I grabbed his arms and leaned my head back to deliver a brutal headbutt. He groaned before I let go of my dagger and punched him clean with my fist.

He got knocked out as I got up unsteadily. I shook my head before feeling the blood run down from my forehead. Eren gathered his shield and came up to me. He patted my shoulder.

"Thank you." He breathed out. "This is going to hurt." Eren grabbed on the arrow still stick out. I nodded and he ripped it out. I groaned and held my arm out so Talen can heal it. I wiped the blood from my face before Derek came and knelt by the knocked out Zevran.

"So the elf is still breathing. I'm surprised you didn't kill him." Derek eyed me.

"This whole thing was too well planned. Him and his group knew about us and where we were going. That means he probably has information." I lied.

"You sure about that?" Talen asked and crossed his arms. I nodded.

"Then we might as well be careful. Sten, can you go over to those wagons and check for some rope?" Eren asked. Sten went over while the rest of us began looting the place. Every little thing counted. Sten tied up the knocked out Zevran so he couldn't move his feet or hands. I saw Morrigan and Leliana kill anyone that wasn't dead. I looked away while Eren whistled so everyone can come around again.

"How are you feeling?" Wynne asked.

"I'm fine." I shrugged. Alfred growled at Zevran.

"So how are we going to wake him up?" Talen asked.

"Simple." I said. I picked up some snow until it made a ball and smacked him with it. Zevran sputtered as the cold caused him to wake up.

"Ugh, what in…" Then Zevran looked up and saw our group. He struggled against the ropes until the situation dawned on him. "Oh, I would rather have thought I would wake up dead or not wake up at all."

"We have some questions elf." Derek asked.

"Ah I suppose that this is an interrogation then? Let me save you some time. My name is Zevran, Zev to my friends. I am a member of the Antivan Crows and I was brought here for the sole purpose to slay any surviving Grey Wardens, which I have failed sadly." Zevran explained.

"We're very glad you failed." Eren said.

"An Antivan Crow, a member of one of the best assassination leagues." Leliana explained.

"Ah then you know of us? You must have dabbled in some dark territory." Zevran winked. Leliana huffed.

"Hey, stay on topic." Talen snapped.

"Oh of course, I wouldn't mind paying attention to you as well." Zevran flirted with Talen. His hands were immediately coated with fire.

"If he doesn't have any information I say we kill him." Talen said flatly.

"Now, now! I am sure you would like to hear about the one that hired me no?" Zevran chuckled nervously. I was trying so hard not to laugh. "A gentleman by the name of Loghain hired me to kill you. He did so because you threaten his power no?"

"I'm guessing since you're telling us all of this that you're not particularly loyal to Loghain?" Derek asked.

"Loyalty is a very interesting topic but no, I am not loyal to the one who contracted me. I was hired for a service, one that I have failed. And there will be consequences, to me of course." Zevran cleared his throat.

"That's a good way to know that Loghain knows we're still out here. Trust me when I say he probably won't be the last one." I mentioned.

"Your beautiful companion is correct." Zevran chuckled. I rolled my eyes.

"So what do we do for now?" Derek asked.

"Well my life is forfeit and if you don't kill me now, the crows will later. The thing is I like living. You are all very strong, strong enough to give the crows pause. Let me serve you instead." Zevran offered. A moment of silence followed.

"An interesting offer if you were not trying to kill us." Morrigan piped in.

"Technically he was trying to kill the Grey Wardens and we were only in the way." I explained.

"Please don't tell me you're defending the assassin." Alistair shook his head. I shrugged.

"All I'm saying is that, in the end, we need more people right? He knocked Eren's shield out of the way, kicked Alfred away, and I'm pretty sure I only won our fight because of dumb luck. We need skilled help right?" I tried persuading everyone. Eren stared at me.

"Aren't you supposed to be protecting me from people who want to kill me? Who says he won't complete his job later on?" Eren asked.

"Sometimes you got to have faith." I countered.

"I am starting to fall for your friend here." Zevran chuckled.

"Don't push your luck elf." Derek laid his hammer on the ground, none too gently.

"I have to agree with her. His skills are something we can use later on." Leliana asked. "And the crows will kill him still even in our group. He won't flee because he'll die. We'll be protecting him."

"It is as she says so please?" Zevran asked again.

"Are we really sure about this?" Wynne crossed her arms.

"Not really." Talen huffed and looked to Eren.

"Can we decide already? If he is skilled to defeat the Blight then recruit him. Otherwise, kill him." Sten put his own opinion in. Alfred barked.

"Eren do you trust me?" I asked.

"What does that have to do with-" He turned to me.

"Do. You. Trust. Me?" I emphasized. Eren huffed.

"Of course I do." He breathed out.

"Then trust me on this." We had a staring contest before Eren growled out.

"Fine, Zevran you can join us." Eren said.

"Wait, are we seriously taking in the assassin now?" Alistair scoffed.

"He has evidence we can use against Loghain and, as I hate to admit it, is very skilled with his daggers." Eren scowled.

"Thank you for your wonderful praise." Zevran commented.

"Hm, fine but I think desperate just knocked on our door." Alistair mumbled.

"You will probably have to regularly check your food for poison." Morrigan huffed.

"That is wise information for any occasion." Zevran laughed. I took out my dagger and went behind him to cut his ropes. I went closer to his ear.

"If you so even think about killing any of the Grey Wardens I will personally make you a eunuch." I whispered before cutting the ropes on his feet. I got up while Derek went to give Zevran his weapons.

"Then from this day onward, my blades will fight for you and I am yours." Zevran bowed. Eren gave him a disgusted face before shaking his head. Zevran looked to me and winked.

"Why do I get the feeling we bit off more than we can chew?" Leliana asked.

"Because I can tell he's going to flirt with all of us." I rolled my eyes.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku!**

 **Yay! Zevran is here! He's so awesome when he's not trying to kill you. As you can tell there will be more traveling chapters as I will stretch the traveling time to a more believable rate.**

 **Shout out to Fuzzie Wuzzy for following! Thank you Undeadhero143, WindBear47, and Syutaku for reviewing and loving the direction this is going!**

 **Chimera Spkye:** _Don't worry, Wynne is going to think on it before confronting Nia again lol_  
 **Boudica:** _lol Thanks! Yeah, Wynne is like that with everything. It's like the spirit said at the Temple of Sacred Ashes, that she spews information but doesn't realize that maybe, just maybe, it's nonsense or no one wants to listen you know? I'm glad you're enjoying the fic!_

 **Please Review! :D**


	44. The First Time

9:30 Wintermarch 23rd

"We might as well burn the bodies and set camp here. It will burn into our time but those are storm clouds. The wagons will give us more protection than out in the wild." Eren said. So we got down to it and started to gather the bodies to burn them.

"You feel no remorse for doing this to your compatriots?" Wynne asked.

"Why?" Zevran scoffed. "These people knew the risk of what could happen should their mission fail and it was the first time I worked with them. It's a shame but that is death, yes?"

"How can you be so disconnected? They had lives just like everyone else." Wynne countered.

"And we attacked you and your group killed them. I don't see why you have a problem. Would you have rather we succeeded?" Zevran asked. Wynne did a disgruntled grunt and turned away. I dragged the last one to the pile and Talen came up. He made a scorching flame to cover everyone.

"May Andraste guide them." Leliana prayed.

"So let it be." Talen ended the prayer. She gave him a small smile while I left to go and prepare the carriages.

"I must admit, I didn't think anyone would support me. You have my gratitude." Zevran came up to me.

"Don't worry about it." I shook my head, getting a few blankets to cover the openings of the wagons.

"I insist." Zevran winked.

"The only thing you're getting out of me is most likely a kick on your butt. Now, make yourself useful and help me cover this." I said, flinging a part of the blanket over to him. He chuckled. We wrapped it up nice and tight. We covered two wagons, one for the women and other for the guys.

"Why did you support the notion of having me alive? I am rather curious about it." Zevran asked after he finished helping me.

"Because I have faith that you'll help us. We don't come across people that are good at fighting like you every day you know?" I shrugged.

"I must praise at your own tactics as crude as they were." Zevran said.

"I fight dirty because I'm short and I'm not as strong as everyone else." I reasoned.

"If you would like me to show you some moves to better your fighting, I would. I am in your debt." Zevran nodded.

"If we have time but for now, I have to help with food." I said, going over to the fire with Leliana.

"I found some fresh meat so we can have a good stew. I also found spices though I don't know which ones to use." Leliana said as she was going through small bottles filled with dried spices and herbs.

"It depends on what you want in a stew. What meat did you find?" I asked.

"It seems they carried a few hens as well as smoked meat and fresh beef. They were very well stocked." Leliana smiled.

"Hmm chicken huh? Is that it?" I asked.

"Vegetables are difficult to come across unless they've been pickled during these times." Leliana said.

"Good point. No potatoes though?" I asked.

"A few." Leliana showed me. Wynne sat with us and helped us peel the potatoes as the chicken was boiling. I went through the various herbs and got some oregano to add. It was a light spice and enough to make it taste good and not drab.

"So is it almost done?" Alistair came up.

"It still needs time." I said, poking the potatoes and chicken with a small knife that Leliana also found. My daggers were for enemies not for cooking.

"Ok good now, why did you defend the assassin!?" Alistair put his foot down.

"Why is everyone going on about that? We got good help and something to pin on Loghain. If we killed him, we wouldn't have any of that. I was thinking logically." I explained.

"I still don't like him." Alistair huffed.

"You don't have to." I shrugged.

"You are too nonchalant about this." Wynne said. "Have you forgotten he nearly killed Eren?"

"And I saved him." I shot back.

"But what if-" Wynne started.

"There are no 'what ifs.' What happened, happened. There's no point in thinking about what could have happened. We need to focus on the present besides, you keep on going like Zevran is like my best friend or something. I'm keeping a close eye on him too so try not to put me on the chopping block alright?" I snapped. "Whatever, give the chicken another 45 minutes and it should be done." I got up and walked toward the hills around us. Alfred barked as he circled my feet. I smooshed his face but kept on going until I was at a boulder.

I sat down and breathed. Was it that wrong to want to save a life every once in a while? Besides, as long as we got Zevran's trust, everything would be fine. But they didn't know that. We didn't have trust yet. How could we? We're all a bunch of misfits trying to save the world.

"You ok?" Talen came around. Alfred had nestled right next to me. I shrugged.

"I'm bleh." I huffed. Talen chuckled and leaned against the boulder next to where I was sitting.

"I overheard what you guys were talking about. It does seem weird that you wanted Zevran with us." Talen said.

"I just didn't want to kill anymore." I mumbled.

"Yeah, I kinda know that feeling too." Talen sat down. "But there's nothing we can do. We have to survive. Like you said, he isn't going to be the only one that is going to try. At this point, we'll have to be more careful when we're traveling. Or at least make sure that no one can spread where we're going."

"That doesn't mean I have to like it. You know I only knocked out a few of those assassins right?" I said.

"You did? Even though they most likely would try to kill us again?" Talen said.

"Well when you put it that way…" I mumbled.

"Nia, I understand that you're not used to this. I'm not either. The thing is, I saw what darkspawn are able to do. I saw…messes of patrols out when we were in the Korcari Wilds. I fought against those things even before I got to sense them. I get pissed when I realize that these people don't realize what we're up against. We only fought the scouts and a small horde. Imagine when the Archdemon finally appears, then what? We don't have griffons to fly on. How in the world are we even going to kill it?" Talen explained while I listened to him.

"We won't be able to get to the Archdemon in the first place if these guys won't let us though. They're stopping us from trying to save them. If they don't want to be saved and want to get killed by us then that's their choice. We can't do anything more than that." Talen laid it out. He had a point and it was something I had to think about.

"I understand. That doesn't mean I have to like it though." I repeated.

"I don't think anyone likes killing anyone but we have to do it if we're going to get to the Archdemon in the first place though." Talen said.

"You're so mature Talen. It's cute." I chuckled. Talen blushed.

"I-I just saw how they were hounding you! It w-was the least I could do for what you did for me at the Circle." Talen pouted.

"Thank you." I giggled. "I was never a fighter you know?"

"Could have fooled me." Talen mumbled.

"The only blades I picked up were sets of kitchen knives. I never wore armor or did anything like this. Even after a few years dealing with people as a guard, this is something very new. I'm still trying to get used to everything." I sighed.

"You and me both but…I can be there to talk to you at least. You shouldn't shut yourself off. We're a team!" Talen announced with a red face.

"You're so cute Talen." I laughed. He pouted but blushed nonetheless. I shivered as I saw a few snowflakes fall from the sky. Talen conjured up flame in his palm and the warmth soothed me.

"You want to see something awesome?" Talen suddenly asked.

"Sure?" I shrugged. Talen got up and conjured another flame. Now he was holding onto two then he started to juggle.

"I used to do this for the kids back in the Circle when they first joined. A lot of the older Senior Enchanters and Chantry people always tried to tell us to be scared of magic. I never was though." He did a series of tricks using the flames. Alfred jumped at the flickers that fell on the ground. I laughed wholeheartedly as Talen did a few silly faces with his routine.

"You should have been a comedian instead of a mage." I laughed.

"What's going on here?" Leliana asked and Talen squeaked in surprise, letting the flames fall.

"Andraste's mercy, don't sneak up on me like that!" Talen cleared his throat. Leliana saw me and then Talen then at me again.

"You were cheering her up weren't you." She stated. Talen crossed his arms.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Talen denied it.

"You should have seen it Leliana. He was doing all sorts of tricks with his flames." I said, standing up.

"Can I see?" Leliana smiled. Talen grew two shades red.

"It's nothing really!" He said, flustered. He pouted but still got the flames. "I-It's nothing fancy really." He juggled slightly and then stopped and Leliana laughed.

"That was nice. It's getting cold though so wouldn't you like to come to the fire?" Leliana asked.

"Yeah that's fine." Talen shrugged and went toward the campfire.

"Also I agree with you Nia." Leliana winked before following Talen.

"I'm really starting to miss my privacy." I mumbled before Alfred whined at me. We went over to the campfire but I sat near the edge while the others were gathered. I saw Zevran tending to his weapon. He caught me staring and smiled at me. I got up to sit next to Eren.

"How are you doing?" I asked.

"Besides having the assassin that tried killing me sitting near me? Fantastic." Eren grumbled. "Morrigan was explaining what magic she's seen her mother use so we can plan ahead."

"Are you mad at me too?" I asked. Eren sighed and rubbed his face.

"You're making me place a lot of faith in you." Eren stared.

"Sorry." I said. Eren patted my head.

"Don't be. I do trust you. I just don't trust him. Let's hope this doesn't end with a dagger in my back. Otherwise, I'll come back from the Maker's bosom just to haunt you." Eren chuckled.

"Oh no, I would not want that." I said in mock horror.

"I've come here to tell you that I blame you!" Eren did a spooky face and shook me a little in a mock choking.

"Oh the pain!" I laughed which made him laugh too.

"This is nice." He sighed at the end of it.

"Yeah." I agreed. Eventually the simple soup was done. We all just talked about minor things. Mostly our travel times. If this snow turned into a blizzard, we'd be stuck. If it snowed too much, our travel time would be doubled. There wasn't much we can do to combat mother nature. Once the food was done and the few dishes washed, we went to our respective places. Morrigan sneered at Wynne when she came in to stay with the girls.

I was the only one up writing everything down. Zevran was a good guy. I know this from various playthroughs but what if I was wrong? So far everything seemed to be fitting but I couldn't always take faith that this would play out like in the games. This was real life, not a game. That was proven to me earlier in the day.

9:30 Wintermarch 24th

It snowed heavily last night. We couldn't even reach Lothering when the weather took the turn for the worse.

After we had gathered everything up, we began on our trip again. The snow was falling lightly in the morning. I kept on playing with my breath.

"Winter wonderland." I mumbled.

"Indeed. The cold is extremely harsh. How can you Fereldens survive this?" Zevran shivered. Out of all our armors, his was the most open. He had on no stockings or pants underneath his leather skirt. Parts of his arms were also visible.

"Didn't you at least expect the cold?" Sten asked.

"Honestly? I thought I would either complete the job and head back to Antiva or die. Living is good the cold is a harsh mistress." Zevran shivered again.

"Must be rough for an assassin like you." Alistair glared.

"Ah is this the part where you bully me my good Ser?" Zevran commented.

"What? I'm not a bully. You tried to kill us so forgive me if I'm not all forgiving." Alistair said.

"It was merely an assignment. Now that I am serving you, I will not put that dagger in your back." Zevran tried reassuring him.

"Sure." Alistair rolled his eyes.

"Please ignore him Zevran. I, for one, am glad you are part of this group." Leliana mentioned.

"Oh? Then camping should be more interesting, wouldn't you say?" Zevran flirted.

"Or maybe not." Leliana scoffed.

"Ha! I have to give you points for tenacity elf." Derek laughed.

"It is in my nature to admire the beautiful and dangerous." Zevran chuckled. He immediately looked at me and winked. Eren got in front of us.

"How about you stop flirting and start walking?" Eren mentioned. I gave Eren a flat stare when he turned to me. "What?"

"Really? Come on Eren, back to the front." I shooed him. He scowled but did it anyway. Morrigan chuckled.

"You have him on a leash, very impressive." Morrigan said.

"I am not on a leash!" Eren shouted back. Alfred barked in agreement, I think.

"He's his own man Morrigan. Take him if you'd like." I offered. Morrigan chuckled before smirking.

"This is why I like you." Morrigan said.

"Be careful, first it's 'I like you,' and then zap." Alistair mentioned.

"Did I not mention that I cannot turn anyone into a toad? Though for you, I might as well make a spell for that just for imbeciles like you." Morrigan snapped. 'Burn.' Is what I thought.

"That severely hurt my feelings, all one of them." Alistair said sarcastically.

"How devastating." Morrigan snapped back.

"Is it like this all the time?" Zevran asked me.

"Only on our good days." I chuckled. Then a blast of wind came on by and everyone felt the cold then.

"It seems we are on a path to a storm." Sten grumbled.

"Big guy is right. Snow is coming in a lot harder. We're going to need to find an area to camp and fast." Derek mentioned.

"There is nowhere to camp. There aren't even any trees!" Talen mentioned.

"Then we keep power walking until we find something." Wynne said. She out of everything didn't want to be vocal. She really didn't like Zevran. At that point, all we did was power walk, nearly jog, to find some sort of shelter. Then all four of the GWs stopped. I heard a guttural growl before Talen sent off a searing hot fireball over my head. I heard the scream and I turned back. It was a monstrous genlock.

"Darkspawn!" Derek warned. We all got into our fighting positions as darkspawn came out of an underground passage. Three Hurlocks came out then one towering Hurlock Alpha came out after them.

"Holy Jesus Christ." I gasped and instinctively took a step back. Then Zevran grabbed my arm and pushed both of us to the ground as the burning genlock rushed past us.

"It was still alive!" Zevran shouted as we both got up from the snow.

"Less talking, more killing!" Derek ran past us. The other went for the Hurlocks. I grabbed my daggers and followed Derek. The genlock roared and it was hard to breathe. I was terrified of it. It pounded the ground and charged at Derek. He quickly evaded it and pounded the genlock's back. My hands were shaking and my throat was dry. I was trying to tell my feet to move.

The genlock charged again at Derek and he evaded it quickly. Zevran ran past me and quickly stabbed the genlock in the back in quick succession before running away. The genlock roared and looked toward Zevran before Derek clocked it in its face. Then they were both grappling each other. Derek roared as he was trying to overpower the genlock.

"Stab it!" Derek ordered. I growled and ran toward the genlock. I couldn't be a hindrance. Zevran and I stabbed it multiple times as it roared in pain. Derek got a good grip on it and tossed it before grabbing his hammer that fell. The genlock was having difficulty getting up so Zevran and I took the initiative and kept on stabbing. It swung its fist and we both backed off until Derek came in with his hammer. The genlock roared at him before Derek slammed his hammer on its head, crushing it.

Some of the blood splattered on my face. I made sure to keep my eyes and mouth closed though. I felt like my heart was about to burst from my chest and I felt dizzy. This was a darkspawn. The first one I ever fought. I cleaned off some of the blood from my face. It felt like sticky tar and the smell. The smell. It was going to stay with me forever.

It was a mix of rotten flesh, sewage, and that odd metallic smell that lingered at the back of your throat with the hint of rotten milk. I immediately got sick to my stomach. My saliva suddenly increased and I knew was going to happen next. I turned away from Derek and Zevran and threw up in the snow. I heard someone coming toward me as I was heaving out my breakfast. Someone's hand was rubbing my back.

"Yeah, I know. It takes some time to get used to the smell. Let it out." Derek said in a soft voice.

"Is everyone alright?" Alistair came over. He also had darkspawn blood over himself.

"We're good over here! You didn't get any in your mouth right?" Derek asked. I shook my head no as I got clean snow to wash away the taste of vomit from my mouth. I wiped my eyes and my body shivered.

"I can say this: I'm frigging glad I'm not a Grey Warden." I stated. Derek laughed as he helped me up. I let out a long breath as we all gathered back on the road.

"It's starting to snow more heavily." Talen said.

"And we found a place to stay." Eren said as he followed where the darkspawn came through.

"Are we going to stay where they came from? What if more come along?" Wynne voiced. I nodded in agreement.

"Unless you have somewhere else in mind?" Eren shot back. Wynne pursed her lips. "Besides, it's not like we can't fortify ourselves."

We ended up in an entrance underground. It wasn't a wide chasm but big enough to house everyone. Talen grabbed some dry wood that was in the cave and lit up for a torch.

"Priss, Senior, Witch, it's best if we cave in this spot in the back. At least this way, the darkspawn would have to dig to get to us." Derek mentioned. They followed him toward the back while I sat on the floor and tried to breath. Alfred came and whined. I patted his head.

"I'm just a little shaken Alfred, don't worry." I reassured him. I was trying to believe it myself. I heard a low rumble and some dirt wind came toward our group. That meant they closed the way further in. Sten was already making the fire ready. I didn't want to do anything but I couldn't stay the way I was right now. I set up the pot while Derek and the others came back.

"Now the dusters will have to work to get to us." Derek chuckled darkly.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku.**

 **For once I'm actually catching up in my chapters, yay for week long vacation! Nothing to say here other than I love your continued support!**

 **Thank you The Invisible Pretender and Fujimaru24 for follwing! Thank you WindBear47, Chimera Spyke, Guest (I'm glad I updated then!), Undeadhero143, and Syutaku for reviewing! Please Review!**


	45. Cold and Slow

9:30 Wintermarch 24th

The blizzard was raging outside. Wynne was able to use her magic to close the opening some more before resting. Everyone found something to do. Alfred was sleeping, Wynne was writing in her own grimoire, Talen was talking to Morrigan and trying to help her figure out healing. Alistair, Derek, and Eren were working on cleaning their armor and weapons with me right next to them. Sten was near the entrance doing his meditation. Zevran was trying not to freeze with a blanket around him. Leliana was humming, getting an early dinner ready.

"You doing better missy?" Derek asked. I shrugged as I got my shoulder pads and wiped them down.

"I'll live. It's not going to be the last time I fight against darkspawn." I reasoned.

"Don't worry about it. The priss threw up twice when we encountered them!" Derek laughed.

"I heard that!" Talen shouted.

"Trust me, I've lived underground for most of my life. The smell whenever you'd stand by the entrance to the deep roads was the worst. Considering that we're going to go through scouts of them you'll get there." Derek patted my back.

"You're being awfully nice." Alistair chuckled.

"I'm always nice!" Derek huffed. I laughed. I took a look in my pack after I was done cleaning everything. I took out a change of clothes and went toward an inconspicuous spot. I didn't want to stay in darkspawn blood after all. After I was done, I went to sit down next to the fire and got out the Antivan book from the Circle. I bit my lip as I looked at Zevran cleaning his own armor. A small nervous ball settled in my stomach, wondering if this is the right time to go up to him and ask.

"Ah! You finally have started reading it?" Leliana asked, sitting next to me.

"This? I already told you I can't read Antivan." I said. Leliana gave me a smirk and I realized what I said. I heard Zevran chuckle.

"Is this something you found on your travels?" He sat by us and held out his hand. I nodded and gave it to him. He snorted. "Smut, very lady like."

"I-I got it because I don't know how to read it! I was hoping to learn how to write Antivan." I mumbled. Leliana giggled.

"Ah sabes como hablar pero no leer?" Zevran asked.

"Se mira distincto pero todavía no entiendo." I said. Zevran laughed.

"Your accent is very distinct, a little forced but not bad." Zevran said. I blushed in embarrassment.

"That was interesting to hear. Perhaps you'd like to learn Orlesian as well?" Leliana asked.

"One at a time. I can't focus on trying to write Antivan only to mess up to try to speak Orlesian." I said.

"Point taken." Leliana hummed.

"I have to say, I enjoy the company of two beautiful women." Zevran smirked at us.

"Is that all you do in your spare time? Flirt?" Leliana asked.

"I make sure to separate my work from passion but considering you stopped my work, I could do with more passion. Especially in this cold, I have heard the best thing to do is to share body temperature." Zevran insinuated.

"Not on your life. I would sooner throw you out in the blizzard." Eren snapped.

"Ah, Is she your woman?" Zevran asked.

"No! I'm not his anything." I said. Eren scoffed while both Derek and Alistair laughed.

"Is this really the time to be doing this?" Wynne face palmed.

"Relax Senior! We might as well have fun while we're stuck in here." Derek guffawed.

"Then you don't belong to anyone?" Zevran inched closer to me.

"I'm married." I said.

"Forbidden fruit and double the temptation." Zevran purred.

"I'm pretty sure that means a resounding no either way." Alistair said.

"Exactly so lay off." I said, pushing his face away and getting up to sit back with Alistair. Zevran gave me a playful smile before the fire rose and then went back down. Talen came by and glared at Zevran before sitting between him and Leliana.

"So, what are we going to eat?" Talen asked.

"Are you hungry again?" Wynne asked. Talen shrugged.

"It's actually a side effect from the joining. It seems that every Grey Warden goes through a period of eating everything in their path." Alistair said.

"I don't eat everything in my path." Talen pouted.

"Is that why you nearly ate the whole hare?" Derek snickered.

"I only went for seconds and that's it!" Talen shouted.

"Yes and that's the reason why you ate the food at Ostagar like it was the last thing you would ever see." Eren chuckled. Talen got bright red.

"It's a good thing we get lots of exercise." Alistair laughed. The blizzard started to get worse and cold air was coming inside. Morrigan scoffed and went to the entrance. Her hands shone while roots began to cover the remaining part of the entrance.

"That will do, for now." She smirked.

"This means more snow and that means we won't be able to get to Flemeth anytime soon." Eren sighed.

"At least we found shelter." Leliana added.

"Shelter that leads straight into the bowels of the earth where darkspawn grow more powerful." Morrigan mentioned.

"We won't be caught off-guard at least." Alistair shrugged.

"I think we should get some rest while we're at it. This storm isn't going to pass for a few hours. Might as well get comfortable." Derek said. The GWs went and formed their small group so they can see who's going to take watch for now. Leliana and I put our cots together and Alfred laid next to me. I lit a candle and wrote until it was time to go to sleep.

9:30 Wintermarch 25th

Through sheer luck or something greater, we didn't have any darkspawn coming near us in our cave. It was also nice to actually sleep and not be so frigging cold during the night. We got up, ate our rations, put away our camp, and moved on. Morrigan moved the frozen roots to show a completely snowy landscape.

"Whoa." I breathed out. This was nothing compared to when we came out of the tower.

"Great, more snow." Derek grumbled.

"Let's get moving." Eren said. We trudged through the snow that went up toward our knees or, in Derek's case, up to his waist. Talen growled and melted the snow with a cone of fire. He looked proud of himself until Wynne tsked at him.

"If you are planning on doing that for our every single step, you won't be able to fight if we encountered enemies." Wynne scolded him.

"At least I made a path." Talen pouted.

"Wynne is right. You should conserve your mana." Eren said. Wynne gave me a side glance though. I'm pretty sure she's thinking that it's not too much of a problem because I'm here. In the end, we walked through snow but when it got too deep either Talen or Wynne would focus on melting the path. We eventually got on the usual path that wasn't as snowed in.

I would see trees, barren, frozen and beautiful. Fields that glistened in the sun. I would see ponds frozen over. Derek pushed Talen into one to see if it would break. Talen nearly burnt off his beard. It was funny.

Alistair kept on eyeing Zevran while he tagged with me and Sten in the back. He wasn't being inconspicuous. Zevran chuckled.

"Is there something you would like to ask me?" Zevran asked.

"I'm just making sure you're not getting ready to stab me in the back." Alistair quipped back.

"If he does something Alistair, you'll be the first to know. I'm pretty sure being flanked by a tall and intimidating qunari will give him pause." I smirked. Sten breathed out of his nose and Zevran nervously chuckled.

"You see? No back stabbing here." Zevran said.

"I don't trust you." Alistair huffed.

"Are all Fereldens this suspicious?" Zevran asked.

"You have to admit they'll be suspicious of you because of what you did. It's going to be hard to earn their trust." I explained.

"Ah but not yours?" Zevran walked closer to me.

"I'm open to the idea but that doesn't mean I'm going to jump right into your arms." I glared and pushed him away.

"Such a shame." Zevran chuckled while I rolled my eyes.

"Careful now. She is the one who subdued you. Who is to say she will not do it again to shut your mouth?" Morrigan threatened.

"I wouldn't mind it if she did." Zevran glanced at me.

"How about no? I already told you I'm married." I said.

"You haven't mentioned that before missy." Derek said.

"There's nothing to say." I sighed.

"If you are married then why aren't you with your family?" Alistair asked. I bit my lip.

"They're dead." Eren stated.

"No they're not! They're still alive! I just…I can't see them." I snapped. Alistair made an 'oh' face when it dawned on him. He was one of the people that I told the truth to.

"It think it's best if we leave her be." Wynne suggested.

"I for one am most curious about this. Why did you come to Ferelden if you had a family waiting for you somewhere else?" Morrigan drawled.

"I didn't have choice." I answered.

"And what does that mean?" Morrigan asked. I got angry.

"I'll leave that to you. I'm not answering anymore questions." I huffed.

"She was on a burning ship coming to Ferelden. She didn't come here on her own free will." Eren explained.

"I'm standing right here! What gives you the right on telling everyone about my life!?" I snapped. Everyone was surprised. Eren stared at me.

"You might as well tell everyone besides accepting your fantasies." Eren said.

"They are not fantasies! My family is still out there unlike-" I stopped. I didn't want to hurt Eren but he did for some odd reason. He gave me that glare I was used to seeing on him.

"Hey, hey, it's not the time to be fighting about whatever this is ok?" Alistair stepped in. Eren wasn't listening though.

"You need to realize that you can't go back. Your 'family' has moved on and have left you." Eren glared.

"Boss!" Derek chastised him before I felt that lump in my throat.

"No they won't! They're waiting for me, my husband and my kids. One day I will go home! I know it!" I shouted. I remembered the dream with Halo and of what he told me. I'm going home one day.

"You're going to keep hurting yourself by believing in a delusion." Eren scoffed.

"Hey can you both-" Talen started.

"Is this what you want to do to me because I rejected you? Because you want me you're going to try to hurt me by using my own family against me?" I snapped.

"Andraste's breeches can you both stop? This really isn't the time." Alistair sighed.

"Actually I think this is something we have to acknowledge." Leliana piped up.

"There isn't anything good about dredging up old feelings." Wynne said.

"I think this is just too personal." Alistair sighed.

"Eren was in love with me and I rejected him. End of story." I snapped. "God, you are still the entitled prick I met all those years ago!"

"And you're still the annoying woman who does anything to defy me!" Eren shouted. We both glared at each other before Eren huffed and continued on his way.

"Um…" Alistair started before I glared at him too. "Well! Now since that's settled, we should start going, ok we should go, now." Alistair cleared his throat before the rest of them started to move. I stayed where I was. The bad part of me was telling me that this was all my fault but I didn't even start it! This sucks.

"This is why you should never fall in love." Zevran chuckled.

"You wouldn't know the pang of the heart Zevran." Leliana said. They were the only two that stayed. Zevran's face changed slightly before he smirked.

"This is true of course." His laugh felt hollow.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to rain on anyone's parade." I sighed before I started to walk behind the group.

"I knew there was something between you two but nothing like this. I always thought you were playing hard to get." Leliana said.

"What do you mean playing hard to get?" I asked.

"You mean all those times Eren would stare at you and defend you were lost on you?" Leliana wondered. I raised an eyebrow.

"He would stare at me?" I asked. Zevran laughed.

"This," Zevran put his arm around my shoulders. "Is what we call oblivious my dear Leliana."

"Andraste's sword, you really had no idea?" Leliana asked. I shrugged off Zevran's arm.

"I don't think I would even like to know. I mean, yeah, Eren was kinda defensive with me but that's because we were friends. I didn't even think he would do all of that because he was in love with me. Remember, I only learned about it recently." I sighed.

"And how long was he was enamored with you?" Zevran asked. I bit my lip before sighing.

"A little over a year…" I mumbled.

"And you never realized anything? Exactly how did you get married in the first place?" Leliana asked.

"Apparently my husband was in love with me for about half a year until he finally made me realize that he liked me." I explained. They both laughed. It actually made me feel lighter.

"Ah love it is a beautiful yet painful experience." Leliana sighed wistfully.

"Which is why passion should be more important." Zevran commented.

"A relationship can't be built on passion." Leliana stated.

"Who should say that it should be a relationship?" Zevran chuckled.

"You are terrible." Leliana laughed.

"What say you my dangerous beauty?" Zevran asked.

"What you're asking me?" I wondered.

"Of course I am!" Zevran smiled. I rolled my eyes.

"It's difficult to try to stay in love. You have to know the person and they have to know you. You shouldn't try to keep secrets, you need to have trust, and you need to have love. Communication is key and you need to like being around each other. Oh but you also need friends and time alone but when you get to go home and see them…It's nice." I smiled softly.

"You really do love your husband." Leliana giggled, her face becoming red.

"If that's the case then why aren't you with your family?" Zevran asked. My face fell.

"I can't go back and I'd rather not get into specifics either." I sighed.

"That's fine. You are welcome to stay with me if you'd like." Leliana smiled.

"Or if you would prefer more passion then-" Zevran started.

"No." I stated.

Eventually we caught up with the group. I won't lie, it was awkward. Eren was avoiding me and I preferred it that way too. We were able to get past the lake by nightfall and stayed in an abandoned cabin. It was old with a few parts of the roof missing.

"I can't wait until we get to Lothering. Maybe all the refugees have gone and we can get a few rooms at the inn." Talen stretched on his cot.

"I'd like to have some decent ale for once." Derek chuckled.

"I want to go to the Chantry. I was wondering about the sisters and mother." Leliana sighed.

"I don't think I've ever visited Lothering. It would be nice to write about something new." Wynne said, going over her grimoire.

"Does this inn have good beds? I would rather not lay my head where fleas have been." Zevran said. Alfred growled. "You are not a flea ridden mutt. You are a courageous pure bred mabari! Fleas should fear you." Alfred barked happily.

The more I heard about them being excited about visiting Lothering, the more I dreaded going there. Of course, things didn't have to be this way right? Lothering didn't have to get destroyed, right? Ugh all of these possibilities and what ifs make my head hurt.

"You have said you had a family." Sten said as he sat next to me. I nodded. "They why do you wish to be a man?" Oh shit, here we go again.

"I don't want to be a man." I said.

"And yet you fight." He said.

"Yes I do."

"I don't understand. Women are priests, artisans, shopkeepers, or farmers. They don't fight." Sten said.

"That doesn't go for all scenarios. There are women who fight." I responded.

"Why would women wish to be men? That makes no sense." Sten huffed.

"So they can't be women because women don't fight?" I asked.

"Exactly." Sten said. I nearly busted out laughing because of how serious he was. "Whether Qunari, human, elf, or dwarf how we are cannot be controlled. We cannot choose the size of our hands, the color of our hair, or whether we're foolish or clever. We just are and, from what we are, women cannot fight."

"It's not that they can't Sten is that they have no reason to but, think of it this way. If you can bolster your army by gathering woman who are skilled at fighting, you have a greater chance of defeating your enemy than relying on men. Numbers count for something." I explained.

"Strategy counts for more." Sten replied.

"Yeah that's true but, if you counted out the woman in our group which is me, Leliana, Wynne, and Morrigan you're left without one melee person, a ranged fighter, and two extremely well trained mages, especially one that knows healing. Wouldn't take count as a disadvantage?" I asked.

"Then I would be careful not to get hit." Sten huffed.

"It's not like I'm disagreeing with you. I was forced into this situation so now all I'm trying to do is make the best out of it. Like you who lost your sword. You're trying to make the best of this one too until you can find it right?" I asked. Sten stared and then sighed.

"You have drawn up a fair point." Sten grumbled.

"Glad to hear it." I giggled.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku**

 **I forgot to mention that I was writing about the recent changes to Darkspawn instead of using the Origins template. You know the hole ape like Genlock and that sort of thing. Anyway a bit of a downtime chapter, increased character interactions just something slow.**

 **Thank you Wollerosekkaufn and XInsanityXGuiltechXShadowwindX for following! Thank you Undeadhero143, Syutaku, and Chimera Spyke for reviewing! Please Review!**


	46. Loss

9:30 Wintermarch 26th

We got to Lothering by night.

We got up in the morning and ate what we could. We've been trying to conserve some of our food but I knew that what we had would get us to Lothering but not farther. Things were tense considering that Eren and I were still on bad terms. Just because I rejected him doesn't mean he has to be such an ass.

We walked but there wasn't much to say. Zevran and Leliana seem to be tag teaming me on trying to make me feel better. I understood why Leliana did that but Zevran? He was kind of a mystery. I get that he flirted with nearly every female but, for some odd reason, he seemed to be inching towards me more.

I won't lie, I actually like the attention. Zevran is attractive as hell. Please don't judge me.

He, Sten, Alfred, and I guarded the rear. Alistair, Eren, and Derek were up in front. Mages in the middle along with Leliana. It was lightly snowing but nothing like the Blizzard from two days ago.

"I was wondering something." Zevran came beside me.

"Really? How much thinking did you have to do for that?" I said. I heard Sten let out a breath which made me smile.

"You are a cruel mistress." Zevran chuckled. "But back to my original inquiry, how does someone like you end up here?"

"Someone like me?" I asked.

"You said you were married and you had children yes?" Zevran looked at me. I nodded. "Then it is a fair question as to how you came here instead of staying with them."

"That's a really loaded question and it isn't something I'm comfortable in telling." I said.

"We have time, I'm sure you'll tell me one day. My big Qunari friend! How did you find yourself in these lands?" Zevran asked.

"I am not 'your' Qunari nor am I a 'friend.'" Sten brushed him off.

"Perhaps but I am still curious to know how you found yourself in these lands? Especially considering your hot and humid country." Zevran said.

"I have no desire to explain myself to you." Sten huffed.

"It seems that no one will satisfy my curiosity." Zevran dramatically sighed.

"Maybe it's because we're trying to focus on getting to our destination? We're wasting energy talking." Talen talked back to him.

"Is that so? I believe slight entertainment makes time go faster. Meaning we will get to our destination faster." Zevran chuckled.

"Talking isn't really entertaining. Not all of us had entertaining lives." Talen grumbled.

"You are too young to have tales!" Zevran laughed. Talen growled before Leliana grabbed his arm to stop him.

"If you are looking for entertainment, perhaps a bit of song might do?" Leliana suggested.

"Oh, are you a bard?" Zevran purred.

"I did have a life before the cloister." Leliana hinted before she hummed a tune and then started to sing.

"Of all the things that could start happening, should we become a band of minstrels then?" Morrigan rolled her eyes.

"It's very nice Leliana." Wynne ignored Morrigan. Like that, Leliana would sing a few songs, Most of them were in Orlesian but, even without instruments, her voice seemed to echo in the complete silence of winter. It was hauntingly beautiful.

"Come now, I can't be the only one to know how to sing." Leliana giggled.

"Talen has a wonderful singing voice, especially with the hymns of the Chant." Wynne laughed.

"Hey! That was a long time ago!" Talen grew bright red.

"Don't even look at me Senior, I'm too old for drunken dwarf songs!" Derek laughed.

"And here I was thinking I might be able to hear a few." Wynn tsked.

"Now isn't this better than the tension from before?" Zevran whispered to me. I walked away from him and stood closer to Sten. I caught a glimpse of Eren when he looked back. He looked away just as quickly. It was true what Zevran said though, the group was a little more colorful. I actually smiled. The snow stopped as we kept on walking and the sun was setting.

Then the GWs stopped. We all took our positions and grabbed our weapons. The sun dyed the snow a light orange. For a second, it seemed that snow turned into fire. There was no sound except for the sound of our breathing. Then they came up from the snow. There was a huge Hurlock Alpha that stomped toward us with a huge axe in hand. Behind him were four Hurlocks.

Talen suddenly turned and shot off a fireball in his hand. Right behind us, I heard shrieking and saw three thin and sickly bodies rolling in the snow.

"We got an alpha, Hurlocks, and shrieks!" Derek shouted.

"I've got it covered over here!" Talen shouted. Eren nodded while the big hitters went toward the Hurlocks. Leliana was able to kill one of the Hurlocks that held a crossbow. The shrieks came up from the snow. They had loose clothing over their bodies and what looked like daggers attached to their hands.

"These ones are going to be quick, do not let them out of your sight!" Morrigan transformed into her wasp form. The shrieks started to attack. Sten, Zevran, Alfred, and I went forward. Alfred was quick to bite into a leg. The shriek went to stab him but I was able to do a series of quick slashes on its back. It hissed in pain before Alfred went for the kill.

I evaded another shriek before I saw the other two being covered by wasps. They fled as soon as Talen dealt another fireball. One fell while the other ran toward Talen. It was struck by icicles, commanded by Wynne. I saw that Derek and Eren were teaming up together to fight the Alpha. Alistair was being ganged up by three. Morrigan went back into her human form and did a lightning arc between all five Hurlocks. Talen rushed up and followed it by concentrating on his staff.

"Everyone, out of there!" He yelled. Eren and Derek ran but Alistair was held back. Wynne did a protective barrier around him.

"Now!" Wynne shouted. Talen unleashed his energy into a firestorm. Small balls of fire came rushing from the sky and raining down on the Hurlocks. Two were killed, the Alpha still stood. Alistair got rid of another one. One Alpha, one Hurlock. The Hurlock stood back as the Alpha roared and started to flay his axe wildly. I saw Alistair ducked away.

"We can't get near it if it's going to rampage like that!" Derek shouted.

"Then we hit it with magic!" Morrigan shouted as she commanded earth and forced it toward the Alpha. It cut it in half. Then an arrow came by and missed Leliana's leg.

"Shit! The other survivor got the crossbow!" Talen panted.

"Spread out now!" Eren shouted. Everyone was quick on their feet but as we separated, the Alpha stopped its rampage.

"It stopped!" Zevran shouted as he tried going closer, only for a shot to strike him right in the bicep. He shouted in pain.

"Zevran!" I shouted before evading another arrow.

"Shit! It wanted us to spread out!" Talen growled.

"We won't be able to hit one at a time! We need to go in as a group!" Derek shouted.

"Someone can get killed!" Leliana evaded another arrow. I saw Alfred drag Zevran farther away.

"Even if we do, if we cannot kill the one with the crossbow, then we are sitting meat for the larger one!" Morrigan theorized. We needed to stop the sentry. I saw Alistair creeping by away from us. He tried to signal us as well. I saw Eren's face turn calm.

"Morrigan, can you use your magic to command the vines around the Hurlock?" He asked.

"All magic can be used at a range but it is too far and I need a clear view." Morrigan explained.

"Then we need to obstruct their view for a time as well." Wynne said. She raised up a wall of ice. "This will hold! Go to your positions!"

"Morrigan with me! The rest go the other way!" Eren shouted. The alpha was tall enough to look over but not the regular Hurlock. It shouted something I couldn't understand.

"Everyone, stay clear of the wall! It's going to smash it!" Derek shouted. No sooner had he said that, Alpha tackled the wall of ice. The plan worked though. As he smashed through, the Hurlock was focused on us, the bigger group. Morrigan, now close enough, ensnared the Hurlock with vines. Alistair came out where he was hiding and lopped off its head in one quick motion. That made the alpha mad though and it started to go on another rampage.

"Spread out!" Eren shouted as he grabbed Morrigan and cleared out of the way from the Alpha. It was in a whirlwind, twirling its weapon all around. That meant it was moving slower than before. Wynne got down on her knees and let out an earthquake. The Alpha stumbled and its feet were caught.

"Charge!" Derek shouted as Alistair, Eren, and Derek came up to attack all at once. The Alpha roared as it tried to get out from its hole but it wasn't able to before Eren pierced its skull with his sword. The Alpha let out a gurgle before falling to the ground. We all panted around, still high off adrenaline.

"It's all clear!" Talen shouted after he stopped concentrating. Alfred barked and I ran over to Zevran.

"I see your combined efforts have felled the beast. Well done." Zevran lightly chuckled, holding onto his injured arm.

"Yeah, come on. Let's get you healed." I helped him up as Alfred was there for support. Talen came up and examined the arrow.

"Lucky you. Looks like this arrow wasn't coated in their blood." Talen said as he ripped it out. Zevran winced in pain.

"And if it was?" Zevran asked.

"You don't want to know." Talen said as he healed his arm. "Try not strain your muscles. I'll heal it again tomorrow."

"Thank you." Zevran said. The Grey Wardens gathered all the darkspawn in one center. Morrigan cleared them away with fire as Talen was winded by his earlier fire attack and his healing of others.

"This was only a small party. There might be bigger ones later on." Alistair said.

"Then let's keep moving. The sooner we get to Lothering, the better." Eren suggested.

"Are you alright Talen?" Leliana asked.

"I'm just tired from that spell earlier." Talen panted. "Hey, Nia, come over here." I looked at him before going over to him. "Just stick next to me ok?" He whispered. I nodded. He must have sensed that I seemed to be a trickle of fade like Wynne said. Putting two and two together that meant I can actually help mages recover mana. But how much, I wouldn't know.

Our pace grew slower than before. Alistair, Eren, and Derek were all going over the battle and how to strategize if we ever got caught in between two groups. Alistair was able to name off all of the darkspawn that he's encountered and how to combat against most of them.

Genlocks are big and meaty. They weren't slow either but the ones that had shields were the most dangerous ones. They left the back of their necks unprotected though. One stab there and they fall. It's best to take them on as a team.

Shrieks are the best in fast combat. They had nimble feet and their tendency was to lay low and kill those that were unguarded. They were weak though and a good hit on their chest would kill them just be wary of their daggers. Rogue vs rogue is best for these bunch or, if they group together, a wide area spell.

Hurlocks were the most fluid out of all of them. They could wield crossbows, daggers, and sword and shield. Their armor is also of better make. It's best to make the fight as quick as possible. Their necks are unprotected so it's best to decapitated them. They like to move in groups so it's best to take them out one by one.

Alphas were the strongest as their name implied. There were Hurlock Alphas and Genlock Alphas. Both were bigger than the regulars and pack a powerful punch. They don't go down easily and they both take considerable damage. They can also command a pack of their respective darkspawn. It's best to get them out of the way as soon as possible or get rid of their underlings as soon as possible. Either way, get ready for a fight.

Omegas were extremely rare darkspawn. They can kill other Alphas with ease and can command a small army. Unless you have a group of veteran Grey Wardens, keep clear of these and hope you outrun them.

Then there are the Darkspawn Emissaries. They are ones that can use magic. What type of magic they can use is widely varied. They can even heal their own. Rare as they come, they are a force to be reckoned with and is recommended for a Grey Warden with Templar training to handle them. Otherwise, stay clear. Unlike regular mages, they can fight hand to hand and can also teleport.

Either way, as long as we can stay in a group to fight, we'll manage. Night fell quickly as well as the temperature. We cleared a series of hills and went by a post that showed which way was Lothering.

"I recognize these farms even if they are deserted. Lothering should be right across this…" Leliana went ahead of everyone, climbing up the steep path. Of course by the time everyone got to where she was, they were able to see the devastation even in the night. Smoke rose from where we could see Lothering. Leliana gasped and started to walk over towards the ruined town but Talen stopped her.

"I don't think that's a good idea." He said but she took back her arm.

"You don't know that! We can go and we can save those that are still there!" Leliana shouted.

"In the dead of night? We would be walking into a trap." Morrigan scoffed.

"But-!" Leliana started.

"No. We can't do anything right now. We'll turn back and go into one of the abandoned houses. As soon as the night starts to get clear, we'll start to move again." Eren said calmly and walked back the way we came. Morrigan smirked and followed him.

"There, there has to be something we can do right!?" Leliana said. More and more of our group followed Eren. Wynne gave her a sympathy pat on the back and Zevran nodded. Talen stayed right next to her. Leliana sniffed and quietly sobbed. I came by and held her hand.

"The Light shall lead her safely, through the paths of this world, and into the next. For she who trusts in the Maker, fire is her water." I began to recite. Leliana cleared her throat.

"As the moth sees light and goes toward flame," She exhaled. "She should see fire and go towards Light. The Veil holds no uncertainty for her, And she will know no fear of death, for the Maker…" She sobbed.

"Shall be her beacon and her shield, her foundation, and her sword." Talen ended it and held Leliana's other hand. He summoned a small flame in his hand and flicked it. It floated in the air before disappearing.

"I need time, alone." Leliana said. I gave her hand a squeeze before going. Talen stayed for a time before coming to join me.

"The darkspawn only know how to take don't they?" Talen glared.

"That's what they do best." I sighed. We followed the footprints to a nearby abandoned house. It was already raided and it didn't hold anything besides a cracked bed and chest. Everyone was solemn as Lothering's destruction was fresh in their minds.

"Now what? We can't restock in Lothering and our rations are almost out." Derek sighed, taking a sip of his water skin.

"We keep going, that's all we can do." Eren sighed.

"Do you really think you can keep going if you stop eating?" Wynne chastised.

"I do not see you coming up with a plan to restock our food." Morrigan snapped.

"Even if we do reach Flemeth, we're there to kill her so most likely, she won't give us any help in this." Alistair sighed. Talen's stomach growled behind me and I gave him a blank stare.

"My body is more honest than anything." He grew red.

"Enough. We waste more energy by fretting over our situation. It is best if we rest for the night." Sten piped in.

"The Qunari is right. Let's stop for now. We can argue tomorrow." Derek sighed. Talen went over to the GW group and they all talked about night watch. I sat down and rolled my cot on the ground. My stomach grumbled slightly as well.

"Since we are near a tainted land, I'm sure we won't be able to find game to relieve our stomachs." Wynne said. Alfred whined as he laid next to me. "Where is Leliana?"

"She's still outside looking over Lothering. Give her a minute, she'll come back." I said. By the time I finished with my entry, Leliana came in with big, puffy, red eyes. She spread her cot next to mine. It's time to sleep.

9:30 Wintermarch 26th

We were all woken up by a creaking cart. Alfred was the first to bark and alert everyone. He ran outside and I heard someone squeal with laughter. Derek was the first one out since he was taking watch.

"Bodahn!?" He yelled.

"Ah! It's the Grey Wardens! We have finally caught up to you. Say hello Sandal." Bodahn said.

"Hello." Sandal said. Eventually everyone went out. The light was barely shining over the horizon.

"How'd you find us?" Alistair asked.

"Actually I've always been following you! Ever since I heard that it was the time for a Blight, I reasoned that the best defense would be with the great Grey Wardens!" Bodahn chuckled. "Once I stopped at Lake Calenhad, the ferry person told me you were all heading toward Lothering. So me and my boy strutted our stuff to meet you." Bodahn explained.

"Adventure!" Sandal clapped his hands. Eren laughed out loud.

"I'm not sure whether I should call you foolish or brave but you are welcome to stay, just mind yourselves." Eren said.

"Thank you so much! Thank the kind gentlemen." Bodahn said.

"Thank you!" Sandal laughed.

"You wouldn't happen to have food in your cart right?" Talen asked.

"Of course! But I am a business man, if you don't have coin then we can trade." Bodahn insisted.

"Shrewd but I like it!" Derek laughed. Everyone went out to the cart while Leliana stayed with me inside.

"How are you feeling?" I asked. Leliana let out a deep sigh.

"I…I don't know. I spent years in Lothering. There was a calm there I never knew anywhere else and now it's gone…And I don't even know if anyone I knew fled! Because I know that they would be the ones staying, trying their best to save everyone!" Leliana sobbed again. I hugged her. "Why must the Maker be so cruel?! Is that what he wants? More blood, our lives?"

"No one can speak for the Maker, you know that Leliana." I said. Leliana sniffed.

"I even thought, for once, let them be selfish so that they could live but I know in my heart they stayed. They stayed so others can live." Leliana sniffed.

"Then you know the Maker would welcome them." I said. Leliana nodded and breathed into my shoulder.

"Hey we finally have some food." Talen said awkwardly as we both looked up at him. "Um…" Leliana got up and went past him. Talen grew red and bit his lip. "I said something didn't I?"

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku!**

 **I love Talen so much. He's so awkward it tugs my heartstrings. Also I decided to add Bodahn and Sandal to the story. Another change yay!**

 **Thank you Saskue's-Killer112, Chaos-Wolfy, and Gizmo60 for favoriting/following! Thank you Syutaku for revewing!**

 **XInsanityXGuiltechXShadowwindX:** _Actually I'm only going to rewrite Lives and Time. Days of Our Past is basically going to be edited to include the new info from the rewrite. I'll just tell everyone that Lives and Time are non-canon but I'll still have them up because I do love the stories. The whole reason why I'm doing this is because I had two really big plot holes that I uncovered while I was writing. I couldn't just push them into my original story so I decided to rewrite it to also include a ton of content that I glossed over. I hope you like it!  
_ **Chimera Spyke:** _Hue, hue, hue. It's not the only tension that's going to get introduced. I had to remind myself that these are a band of MISFITS meaning that they are not going to suddenly be all buddy buddy within a few days. It's going to take time. Time I will enjoy writing._

 **Please Review!**


	47. Flemeth

9:30 Wintermarch 26th

Bodahn was busy when he was following us. He did actually do a lot of business and was well stocked. I was surprised that mule was able to carry everything. Of course we had enough money to buy food though buying better weapons was out of the question. Either way, I knew that Eren wouldn't let go of his ancestral blade or shield. Derek and Alistair had their weapons from Ostagar so they were average. The others though were making use of the cheap weapons we were able to get at Lothering. Even my own were starting to become dull.

We made do with a sharpening stone that Eren had. He even decided to sharpen our knives since he had the most proficiency at it. The rest of us got together with a bucket that Bodahn loaned to us and some soap that Wynne had. It wasn't much of a bath but more of a wipe down. Still, it feels good to feel slightly clean.

After a hearty meal of boiled meat and potatoes, we all gathered our things to set off. I was waiting next to Eren for my daggers. There was still tension between us. I didn't want to be the better person and apologize. It wasn't my fault. At least not this time.

"Here, they're sharpened." He said, giving them back to me. I observed the blade and smiled. The gleam, no cracks in the blade, and I flicked it with my thumb. Eren caught my hand though. "What did I tell you from before? You're going to cut yourself again."

"I'm more careful than last time." I took my hand back while putting my daggers back in their sheathes.

"I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean to lash out." Eren quickly said. I frowned.

"If you didn't mean to lash out then what did you mean when you started telling me all of that?" I asked. Eren remained silent.

"Don't you two start again, come on, out!" Alistair grabbed me by the shoulder.

"Hey! My armor is still inside!" I fought.

"Out!" Alistair pushed me out and went back in. I shivered as I didn't have most of my upper armor on me.

"I must say, being in this position Wynne, I have begun to admire your maturity." Zevran flirted as Wynne over looked his arm.

"Careful young man or else I can do more than just heal your wounds." Wynne glared.

"Did I ever tell you about a man in the Pearl who used magic while doing the deed? He had this electric-" Zevran started before Wynne pinched his wound. He hissed in pain.

"Well, it will be sore but you don't need stitches or anymore healing." Wynne smiled politely before using her staff to help her get up.

"Oh ho, such a dangerous woman you are Wynne. You are like a fine wine, better with age." Zevran chuckled.

"Please keep those comments to yourself." She glared. Alistair came out with my armor and I quickly put everything on.

"Well then, I'll keep close to you. Wouldn't want to get in the way of any of your fighting of course!" Bodahn said.

"No enchantment?" Sandal asked.

"Not now boy." Bodahn patted his head. We said our farewells and started our march toward Ostagar again. Now that the sun has fully risen, we were able to see Lothering. It was like a black mist had descended onto the town.

"It's the Blight sickness. It even saturates the land." Derek grumbled.

"Is there any way we can purify it?" Talen asked.

"We have these things called Deep Mushrooms back in Orzammar. It seems they are able to soak up the Blight and clean the land underground. I don't know if they can be used up here though." Derek sighed.

"The land slowly purifies itself although the taint might still live on slightly. In the Anderfels, the reason why nothing grows there is because Blights have ravaged the last so much that nothing even grows. So there is a point where nothing can be done." Alistair explained.

"Then I'll find it myself." Talen announced, walking toward where Lothering was. "You hear that! I'm going to research the Blight itself! I'm going to find a way to untaint the lands! I'm going to try my best to bring you back!" Talen panted as he shouted. "Magic can be used to help others." He turned towards us. "Wynne, the other Senior Enchanters said that once I passed my Harrowing, I can choose what I would research. Then I'll use my magic and my taint to good use."

"That sounds fantastic Talen." Wynne smiled proudly. Leliana ran past and hugged Talen tightly.

"Wah!" Talen stumbled.

"Thank you." I heard Leliana say.

"My, what an astonishing development." Zevran purred. Derek cleared his throat really loudly as Leliana let go of Talen. His face was bright red. I chuckled next to Wynne as she gave me a playful smile.

"If you love birds are done, we need to keep going." Derek guffawed. Leliana shook her head while Talen sputtered.

"We're not love birds!" He shouted.

"Whatever you say priss!" Derek laughed.

"We're not!" Talen growled. I looked over at Lothering and wondered if Talen can do it. I know that the Hero of Ferelden started to research the Blight on their own in order to defeat the Calling. There was Avernus that was able to prolong his life by centuries using blood magic. Fiona that was able to cure herself of the Joining and subsequent attempts afterward. There is a way but how is the question. At this point from all my readings, all my obsession, all the playtimes, constantly analyzing everything, reading every scrap of codex, novels, comics about this…and I still don't have an answer.

Even Fiona didn't have an answer and she was the recipient of it. Did it have to do something with Maric? With the dragon's blood that he drank? Was it pregnancy that helped Fiona? Was it the taint and dragon's blood? What was it? There was so much evidence and nothing points to anything. It was making my head hurt. I hope that Talen might be able to find something.

In the end we followed the forest path outside of the forest, avoiding the imperial highway that cut through Lothering. It was too dangerous to go in there, especially those that weren't Grey Wardens. Not only that, remaining forces might have stayed there. I heard Leliana praying under her breath. I didn't blame her. Highever Massacre, the takeover of the Circle, Lothering's destruction…there are a lot of times where I've prayed.

Sometimes I even wonder if praying is doing anything good. My God doesn't exist here and, at this point, I'm doing it to hold onto a part of my world. I wonder if that's for more my own mental health than anything.

"You alright? You've been pretty quiet." Alistair wondered. He was in the back with me and Zevran. Alfred was left with Bodahn since we're getting close to the epicenter of Darkspawn territory.

"I'm just thinking about what Talen said. The Blight has been around for centuries right? If all those times, we had one person working on the Blight, don't you think we would have seen progress now?" I asked.

"Well if they did make progress then all of it should be at Weisshaupt. They have all the records of all Grey Wardens and Blights. There are things they don't even know. Most Grey Wardens aren't all in the know-how of things. I don't like it but even Duncan mentioned that all the higher ups have secrets that they don't tell anyone." Alistair explained.

"Such as?" Zevran asked.

"What?" Alistair wondered.

"What are those secrets?" Zevran asked.

"I wouldn't tell them to you." Alistair glared.

"Ah come now, we are compatriots vying for the same cause!" Zevran said.

"No we are not. You're just someone we picked up and decided to let live because you have information. Just be glad we didn't leave you to freeze with the rest of your assassin gang." Alistair scoffed.

"Jesus Christ Alistair, tone down the hate." I frowned. "I get that you're angry at him but this isn't the time."

"Have you forgotten that he tried to kill us!? Even before we recruited him, you knocked him out instead of killing him the way you supposed to!" Alistair yelled. "Exactly what is your deal regarding him?"

"My deal is to try to save as many people as I can. It's called having faith." I argued.

"Having faith would put a dagger in your back." Alistair glared.

"Is this about Loghain quitting the field? The fact you trusted him as a general and he left you guys to die, for Duncan to die?" I snapped. Alistair growled.

"You weren't there! You didn't see how his men could have saved us! He left everyone to die! Duncan would have been alive, he would have lead all of us to victory against the Archdemon!" Alistair shouted.

"Is that what you really believe? From the way I saw it, Duncan was already getting on in years." I said.

"He was a formidable warrior and leader! If he was alive, then we would be able to gather everyone without having to deal with people like him!" Alistair glared and pointed at Zevran.

"Hey!" Eren came and grabbed Alistair's shoulder but he shrugged it off. "Enough! I've had it up to hear with you and Zevran!"

"I haven't done anything though!" Zevran stated while Eren gave him a mean glare. "Anything as of recently…"

"Why did you take him in?" Alistair growled.

"If Nia says we can trust him, then I'll trust her faith." Eren said.

"You're only saying that because you're in love with her!" Alistair shot back.

"What did you say!?" Eren got close to Alistair.

"Oh my God, our leader is an idiot." I said flaty as I face palmed.

"All of this for me…" Zevran complained.

"What's going on here!?" Derek demanded as Eren and Alistair both turned to face him. I got my daggers, crouched low, sprinted right between them and clocked both of them in the royal jewels. They both wilted like flowers on the ground.

"This dissent cannot continue if we are to defeat the Archdemon." Sten grumbled.

"You're right big guy, it can't. Everyone stop! We're gonna have to talk one on one now." Derek said, dragging both Alistair and Eren on different trees, facing each other. "Missy, what got their panties in a bunch?"

"Don't be so crude." Wynne shook her head.

"I'm the next in charge, so shush. Missy?" Derek asked.

"Alistair was complaining about Zevran again. I tried defending Zevran but Alistair wouldn't have any of it. I kinda threw Duncan's name out there and Alistair got more heated. Eren came to stop Alistair from yelling and then Alistair threw Eren's affections of me into the conversation. Then I punted them both in the dick." I explained. Talen snickered while Leliana gave him a glare.

"This is nothing more than a child throwing a tantrum." Morrigan scoffed.

"Alright, this has gone far enough. Prince, what do you have to say for yourself? You're the one that keeps talking about elf over here." Derek asked.

"Is this normally how he refers to someone? He doesn't call anyone's name?" Zevran asked. I shrugged.

"It's his thing." I frowned.

"We wouldn't be in this situation if Loghain didn't betray us in the first place." Alistair groaned.

"But the elf hasn't done anything as of yet so he is innocent until proven guilty." Derek reasoned.

"He tried to kill us!" Alistair shouted.

"Silence!" Sten roared. It made all of us stand quiet for a good while. "The elf is looking for atonement through his mission to fight against the Archdemon. Within that, you can be assured. Isn't that right elf?"

"Uh of course! I'm not going to try anything, I swear on Andraste's sword!" Zevran quickly said. Sten glared down to Alistair.

"I must admit, I respect your ability in combat but you are misguided by your emotion. You must find balance in yourself or be swept by the tide. All of you are writhing in your own emotions for not trying to attain balance. We will not defeat the Archdemon like this. If such a situation arises again, then I will lead." Sten threatened. I knew it was also a threat he would take seriously. After that Sten walked away from the group.

"I agree with the big guy. We won't get anywhere fighting like this. Alistair, don't talk to Zevran. Zevran, don't antagonize Alistair." Derek said lowly.

"Why did I-" Zevran started before I elbowed him.

"Also you're not the only one that's mourning Duncan. He took me out of my life and made me a Grey Warden. I can go back home, I can see my sister, I can hold my head high because of him!" Derek announced. He sniffed. "You're not the only one missing him. Now, get up, both of you! We've wasted enough time as it is." Derek continued on. Eren and Alistair glared at each other before getting up. Alistair went to the front, Eren stayed at the back.

"Men." Morrigan scoffed. Wynne and Leliana nodded. Eren sighed and rubbed his face.

"Well, so much for comradery." Zevran said. Eren and I glared at him. "Hm? Too soon?"

"Let's just keep going." Eren shook his head. The tension was back in the group. Just once I would like to go a few days where we aren't at each other's necks. We were able to clear Lothering and the path seemed to take us near a forest.

"This is where I will stop. I do not know if my mother will try to take over my body during the fight. Once you have recovered mother's true grimoire, then you can find me with the dwarf merchant." Morrigan explained before turning into a raven and flying away.

"I wonder if she could show me how to shapeshift." Talen wondered.

"Why would you need that?" Alistair asked.

"Having two bears on the field would help us." Talen smirked.

"If you can even accomplish that. Arts like those can be testy and would take years of concentration and effort." Wynne explained.

"How would you know if we don't have books that even cover that type of magic in the Circle?" Talen shot back. Wynne shook her head.

"Let's be off please." Wynne sighed. I get the feeling that Wynne likes to think she knows everything. By the few scattered darkspawn corpses, Alistair reckoned that the horde went and attacked Lothering soon after we left. The forest was still green and the canopy protected the floor of the forest from the snow.

There was a path but it was beaten and cracked. Several vines concealed it and pot holes were everywhere. The only one that didn't have difficulty walking was Sten. I almost tripped again and Zevran caught me before I fell.

"Are you sure this is the way to Flemeth's?" I growled, getting annoyed at the ground.

"It's difficult to tell. We weren't able to place markers and the witch led us the first time around." Derek huffed.

"Then her mom saved us from the tower. You sure you still want to kill her?" Talen wondered.

"If it has to come down to it." Eren nodded.

"She plucked four Grey Wardens off the Tower of Ishal and Morrigan knows how to shape shift. If she learned from her mother, Flemeth knows how to change her form too." Talen gathered.

"Yes, Morrigan has told me that though she doesn't know exactly the extent of her mother's shape shifting." Eren said.

"Then what can carry us and fly out back to her hut?" Alistair asked.

"A dragon." I blurted out. All the Grey Wardens looked at me. "What? It's big enough to carry all four of you and fly."

"There is a legend of Flemeth passed down through the ages. It can't be the same as she, could it?" Leliana asked.

"There's only one way to find out." Derek said lowly. Unfortunately the sun was already setting and I got the feeling we were only going around in circles. We found more darkspawn corpses all about the forest but nothing pointing to a hut.

"If we don't find her soon, then we need to start making camp." Wynne said.

"I think I recognize those ruins." Talen squinted in the distance. We found the original Grey Warden tower in all its ruined glory. "Well from here I'm pretty sure we can figure it out."

"Either we look now or save it for the morning." Derek suggested. Something felt off about the forest. I heard rustling and some cries of animals but the more we traveled, the more I felt scared.

"We can't lose anything if we do decide to search. I have been marking our way so we can follow the path back." Leliana said.

"Then we keep moving." Eren said, taking the lead. We followed him through the brush. We found a river and he followed that. Before we knew it, we came to a clearing with a small hut right next to a pond. I gulped audibly. There was something in my chest, something primal telling me to run. A being with great power rested here.

"So who's going to knock and tell mother dearest?" Derek chuckled. I wanted to go back to the forest, darkspawn be damned. I went to the pond to try to breathe as dusk settled. I heard someone walk behind me and I saw their reflection. An old woman.

I gasped and immediately turned. I slipped and fell into the pond. I heard her cackle. Her golden eyes seemed to glow in the dark. The others finally realized that she was there.

"I am so sorry for frightening you. Welcome to the Korcari Wilds girl." Flemeth looked down at me with her image of a frail old woman. But something inside showed me something for a split second, something beautiful, something fair, something dangerous and deadly. It took all I had not to bow down.

This was Flemeth, Witch of the Wilds and Mythal, one of the Evanuris that ruled the elvhen.

Well. Shit.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku!**

 **No matter what, after learning so much of Flemeth/Mythal, I will always be scared of her in Origins lol As such more tensions rise since everyone is carrying some sort of emotional baggage of sort. It will work out eventually. Also thank you txchimama for looking out for me and my story! If you ever find one of my stories with the penname, YamiAyala, don't worry it's still me.**

 **Thank you Ruri7533 and Nick-Stark42 for following/favoriting! Thank you XInsanityXGuiltechXShadowwindX, Chimera Spyke, and Syutaku for reviewing! Please Review!**


	48. Questions and Answers

9:30 Wintermarch 26th

I was helped up by Flemeth though I naturally looked down at the ground. She chuckled lowly.

"There are those who bow their heads too quickly. Raise your head girl or should I say 'irregularity?'" Flemeth whispered the last part and I looked at her. She gave me a smirk.

"Flemeth! Good to see you!" Derek laughed and Flemeth let me go. Then I realized I was all wet and started to shiver, partly out of cold, the other out of fear.

"I had to admit, I did not expect you to come back so soon. How is Morrigan faring with you hm?" Flemeth asked.

"She's fine but she had other responsibilities." Eren described. There was a glint in her eyes.

"I see then what sort of business brings you to my hut?" Flemeth asked.

"We're going into Ostagar to retrieve important documents. This place hasn't been touched by darkspawn yet so I want to ask if we can stay here until our task is complete." Eren stated. Flemeth cackled.

"Of course but I do not offer my help for free." Flemeth said.

"Always a catch." Talen rolled his eyes.

"Indeed. Hm, what should I ask of you?" Flemeth rubbed her chin and she looked over to me. I felt an uneasiness. "I want to talk to the girl here but even then that would greatly put things in your favor…I shall offer you help and more so long as this girl stays with me, until you leave of course." My stomach dropped to the floor.

"Why do you want Nia?" Eren glared.

"You have no idea what you have in your possession though, regarding your talents, you could not even begin to fathom. What say you to our deal? I will not harm her if that is what you are thinking." Flemeth crossed her arms. Eren gave me a look but sighed.

"Alright. She can stay with you while we're here." Eren said.

"Eren!" I breathed out.

"Try not to insult her ok?" Eren stated. I flashed him my middle finger.

"Don't be vulgar." Wynne chastised me. Flemeth cackled.

"Well, don't be shy, come in! Unless you'd prefer sleeping outside with your companions." Flemeth gestured to her hut.

"Of course." I mumbled. I kicked Eren's shin as I walked and I heard a pleasing sound of pain. We went in the hut and it was actually really normal. There was an old time stove with a stone chimney. A place to bathe with a bucket as well as two beds, a table, and some chairs. "I'm guessing one of these beds used to be Morrigan's?"

"Indeed, though I didn't bring you here to talk about my daughter." Flemeth went to the stove where a kettle was whistling. "Tea?"

"No." I shook my head. "I don't like tea but thank you." Flemeth gave me a playful grin before motioning me to sit. I did so.

"Such manners. I am guessing you are wondering why I brought you to my hut." Flemeth poured herself her own cup of tea. I nodded. She sat in front of me. I was still shivering from the water.

"How do you know I'm an irregularity?" I asked. She laughed.

"When one makes an entry like you do, it is hard not to notice it." Flemeth said.

"So you've been in the fade too." I said.

"One always returns to the place they called home." Flemeth gave me that enigmatic smile. "Though, in truth, I went into the fade because of your presence. Morrigan called it impossible when I fainted. You were the cause."

"I'm sorry." I said. Flemeth laughed again.

"You shouldn't be so quick to apologize. I was merely entranced on how one can so easily rend the fabric of the fade but it wasn't you alone, was it?" Flemeth stared.

"You don't have to keep on tip toeing around the subject." I sighed. Flemeth smirked.

"You have a spirit not of this world with you, one that bears something similar, something from long ago. That spirit is accumulating power isn't it?" Flemeth said, taking a sip of her tea.

"Halo, that's his name." I said. Flemeth laughed.

"How thoughtful." Flemeth smiled.

"He's trying to send me home." I said. She raised an eyebrow.

"Send you home? From beyond the beyond?" Flemeth cackled.

"Yes." I stated. Flemeth stared into her cup.

"Have you ever encountered a spirit that said that you are not supposed to exist?" Flemeth suddenly asked. I opened my mouth before remembering that one spirit that said something similar.

"I'm the impossible, possible." I said.

"Good girl. Let us say that this world was a story, one that has fixed events but flexible personalities." Flemeth gave me a mysterious smile. Another shiver went up my back. "There are things that can't be changed but there are choices we can make. That's all life is, choices. Then along comes a ripple. When you throw a pebble in a clear, stable pond, ripples begin to form. Little by little, those ripples become greater until the pond becomes altered. Throw more pebbles and soon the reflection is no longer clear." Flemeth explained.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked.

"You are the pebble girl, can't your mind comprehend this?" Flemeth chuckled. I gulped. I didn't like where this was going.

"So if that's true then…the story is changing?" I asked. Flemeth took a long draught before setting down her cup.

"Precisely. The ripples are small of course. You have not stayed for an exuberant amount of time. Three years this august, if I assume correctly?" Flemeth asked. I nodded. "You have not grasped a major foothold in this world. If your spirit gathered enough energy by a certain point, then you can surely return."

"Thank God." I sighed.

"But if you do, your removal will cause certain things to never pass. Things that you have changed by your hand will disappear because you cannot exist unless a part of you stays." Flemeth sternly said.

"Like what?" I asked. Flemeth got up and looked out at the window. The others were already preparing the camp. It looked like they also caught a few fish.

"The dwarf managed to find a tunnel the very day you came, saving himself and allowing the events to make him a Grey Warden. The noble boy, you saved yourself. If you decide to leave, these things will not come to pass. Perhaps even another, that you benefited, will have their destiny changed as well." Flemeth said.

"How do you know about how Derek and Eren survived?" I asked.

"One learns much if they know which questions to ask." Flemeth said ominously. I felt that she wasn't going to give me more than that. I looked out the window. Eren, Derek, Rael, even Oren wouldn't be alive today if I wasn't here. Suddenly, leaving didn't seem so…easy.

"So what you're saying is that I have to exist here so things can stay the way they are?" I asked.

"A part of you but even a part might not even be able to linger. Unless it has something to survive on, that will perish as well and so goes your influence. Their existence falls on you." Flemeth explained. I gulped.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked.

"You must realize what your accidental appearance caused in this world and what your disappearance would cause as well. Your choice isn't without its consequences." Flemeth sat back down.

"I don't get it, why do you place so much importance on me?" I asked.

"You are the impossible of course. A rarity such as yourself?" Flemeth chuckled. "There isn't another chance I would have in this lifetime. After all, when will I have the chance to speak to someone from a world beyond my understanding? Though, in order to get my payment, I would prefer meeting you in the fade to truly see this spirit of yours."

"Halo might not like that. He's kinda black and white on the whole evil and not evil thing. Even though spirits aren't technically evil even when they're demons. Maybe misguided but well, fault is half and half I guess." I shrugged. Flemeth laughed.

"You need not explain it to me girl. I know how spirits work child." Flemeth said. I laughed nervously. 'Of course you do, considering you're Mythal and stuff.' I thought. Flemeth sighed and the feeling to shiver near her faded. "That should be enough for you to be more comfortable. You can go and change. I don't want you to die of pneumonia." Flemeth chuckled.

"Thank you." I said, getting up.

"You will be required to sleep here with me so I can delve into your dreams. Do not worry, the sheets were all aired out before you came." Flemeth said. For a second, she kinda seemed grandmotherly.

"So did you expect us?" I asked. Flemeth gave me that mysterious smile again and her eyes seemed to glow. Scratch that. Not grandmotherly at all.

"Go on girl. Don't keep me waiting." Flemeth went to get another cup of tea while I went out as soon as I could without being awkward. I got out and it was freezing outside. Metal does not win against cold. Especially wet clothing underneath cold metal.

"Hey come by the fire missy!" Derek laughed. I made sure to go to my pack and take out my dry clothes.

"Jesus Christ! It's frigging cold!" I huffed.

"Well it is winter." Alistair laughed. I didn't care much for my body so as soon as I got my equipment off, off came my clothes.

"Can't you at least go to the woods!?" Talen cried out. Zevran whistled. Bra was still wet but I didn't care. Then a shadow came and Eren was blocking the view.

"Ah no show with our dinner?" Zevran cried out with disappointment as I quickly put on spare pants. I really need to get laundry done. These were my last pair of clean clothes, minus underwear. I sat down in front of the fire, putting my hands as close as I could.

"Next time, I'm taking the damn tea." I shivered.

"What exactly did she want with you?" Eren asked, sitting next to me and giving me a roasted fish. I took it and ate.

"Stuff." I said.

"Yes, that isn't vague at all." Leliana said sarcastically. I noticed everyone was looking at me, expectantly. Even Sten gave me a wary glance.

"Even if I did tell you, none of you would believe me." I said.

"Did she feed you tea and cookies?" Talen chuckled.

"She offered tea but I didn't drink it. I don't like tea." I said.

"Don't get off topic. What did Flemeth want?" Derek asked.

"She just wanted to see an irregularity." I said plainly.

"Um can you please elaborate? What's an irregularity?" Alistair said.

"Something that is beside the norm, something that isn't supposed to exist, the impossible made possible and I am that thing." I described. The ball of nervousness was extremely wound up. Should I tell them or not? In the end, they were going to find out. Better sooner than later right?

"What are you talking about?" Talen asked. I gathered up my measly courage and decided to tell them.

"I'm not from this world. I'm from a place beyond the veil. A world that is drastically different from yours. I'm something that isn't supposed to exist in this world, I was never supposed to be here." I explained. They all looked at each other and Wynne sighed.

"There are things that cannot be explained so easily." Wynne stated.

"Oh come on missy! You may not like the town or village you're from but that's a bit of a stretch of a lie don't you think?" Derek chuckled.

"Someone from beyond the veil, the magisters of old were barely able to even grant themselves in the fade and that's with thousands of sacrifices!" Talen scoffed.

"Come on, tell us the truth." Alistair laughed. Leliana gave me a sympathetic look while Zevran shrugged. Sten had that disapproving scowl and shook his head. I glared at them, got up, and dumped the fish bones in the blaze.

"I'm done." I stated, in more ways than one. I was a fool to think they'd straight up believe me.

"Nia." Eren got up.

"No! What's the point in telling you people the truth if you don't fucking care!" I shouted. "Here I am, laying down something that took so much of me! Here I am trying to make you guys understand!" My voice broke as the emotions inside suddenly decided to spill out. "You don't think I wouldn't have gone home if I had the chance! You think I'd be here if I could take the ship or the road home!? No! I want to go back! I want to see my family but I can't! Yet you don't understand! Why won't you believe me!?" I sobbed. They all stared at me wide eyed.

"I believe you." Wynne added softly. I scoffed.

"At least there's one. I'm going to bed." I said, going back to Flemeth's hut. As soon as I shut the door, I slid to the floor. I wiped my tears angrily. They couldn't understand. What's the point of even trying to explain?

"There are things in this world that cannot be understood. The ignorance of men is prevalent." Flemeth came by with a small handkerchief. I shook my head and she took it away. "Is there anything you need out there? I doubt that you would like to go outside looking like that." She chuckled. I wondered why she was acting really nice.

"My pack." I remembered my journal out there as well as my clothes and armor. Flemeth nodded.

"It would be best if you go to bed girl." Flemeth said. I nodded and got out of the way. I went to the spare bed and sat down. I was still crying but at most I just felt empty and slightly guilty. I didn't need to make them understand but I wanted to. I didn't want to be burdened with this anymore. Flemeth came back inside with my stuff. I got my journal and she set down a candle for me. There was a thought nagging behind my mind about how she was really nice but I decided to keep that on the back burner. I'm sleepy.

9:30 Wintermarch 27th

As soon as my head hit the pillow, I woke up in the fade. I got up and realized that I wasn't in the forest, on the trail, or anywhere I recognized actually. Instead the sky was a beautiful blue like the day after a rain. I was underneath a beautiful and large apple tree on top of a grassy hill. I stood up and the plains were as far as I could see.

"Where am I?" I wondered.

"So this is your realm? How barren." Flemeth chuckled. I looked next to me and took a few steps back from my surprise. Flemeth had her armor and her hair up like I was used to seeing her. Through all the times I've play through, no CGI can do the real thing justice. Even with her wrinkled face, everything about Flemeth seemed to scream 'Power.' I was in awe until she smiled at me. "Did I startle you?"

"A little." I mumbled while my cheeks heated up in embarrassment. "Why does the fade look like this?" I said.

"This is your mind girl, do you not know how to navigate it?" Flemeth cackled. I gave her a flat stare until Halo appeared in front of us. For a second, I felt tiny underneath his gaze even if it was directed at Flemeth.

'What are you?' He asked immediately. Flemeth gave us that mysterious smile.

"Hello to you too. It is nice to see a spirit that is not so easily bowed." Flemeth said. "My name is Flemeth, as to what I am…" She chuckled. "Unfortunately I do not trust you enough to tell you."

'A thing of power. Many spirits don't know who you are.' Halo said.

"You talk to other spirits?" I asked.

'They come and go.' He said.

"Do you not keep track of what your spirit does in the fade?" Flemeth asked.

"I never really thought about it." I shrugged.

"Are you gathering power and information to send her home?" Flemeth asked. Halo nodded.

'Little by little, soon.' Halo said. I sighed in relief.

"Have you told her the complications of what you might do? Of what this world will suffer if she leaves?" Flemeth asked. Then I remembered what she said.

"Halo, Flemeth said that if I leave, things go back to normal. That means that Derek and Eren would both…die." I said, fidgeting with my fingers. Halo was silent but I recognized that downtrodden look. "Is that true?"

'Those that have been changed by you…will change back once you leave. Don't you want to leave?' Halo asked.

"I want to see my family again." I stated. "But can't the changes stay?"

'Not unless a portion of you stays but then you will not be whole in the next world.' Halo described.

"It is either you or them." Flemeth crossed her arms. I didn't like the sound of that. Eren, Oren, Derek, and most likely Rael would be sacrificed so that I can go home.

"I don't like it." I sighed.

"You don't have to like it girl but you must live with it." Flemeth said.

'What do you see Old One? You see farther than I can, farther than we can.' Halo said.

"Huh?" I wondered. Flemeth chuckled.

"You seem to know much. What is your real name?" Flemeth asked. Halo bristled.

'Why must you know? Names have power Old One.' Halo glared.

"I am not here to cause her harm. New roads have opened because she's here. I only want to see if I can use those roads." Flemeth said.

"So you are going to use me." I stated.

"We all use each other to gain something. Do you not see yourself as someone who doesn't use others. Didn't you use the noble boy to come here to me?" Flemeth asked. She hit it right on the nail and how I probably won't ever know. I pursed my lips and looked away. "There is no such thing as a pure being. Everyone has their light and darkness. There are advantages to being selfish." I huffed and scowled. The landscape started to change. Clouds started to form and I heard thunder.

'Careful, this place is directly tied to you.' Halo said.

"Let her be spirit. There are times when humans need to free their hearts or else be weighed down by them." Flemeth waved her hand. "And as to what I see is something I can't share. The path is laid out, what we can change are the choices not the road. For that I will warn the both of you; there comes a path, a choice, to stay or to leave." Flemeth looked at me. "If you can't make the choice then it will be chosen for you. That is all I can say."

"Why? Can't you tell me anything else?" I asked. Flemeth smiled.

"One cannot take without something in exchange. I have given you all the help that I can give you personally though…" Flemeth looked at Halo. "If you can show me your true form, then I can offer more help to her and to her group. It is your choice spirit." Halo bristled again before he sighed.

'Will the path that might be chosen for us be difficult to cross?' Halo asked.

"That is not my place to say for it's not my destiny but yours." Flemeth nodded. Now I was just confused.

'Very well.' Halo said. His form started to change into something…huge. He was a mish mash of grey, black, and white. He towered over us, twice as big as the tree we were standing under. His arms, hands, and chest looked sculpted but that's as far as human he would look like. He was standing on top of a huge glowing halo and his face was split down the middle. He had the beginning of thighs before a sort of skirt of light flowed out to show nothing else. There were no discernible facial features, no hair, no eyes, no mouth, no ears. Nothing. His left side was glowing black while the other half was a mixture of grey and white.

And his wings…didn't look like wings. They looked powerful and razor sharp. If there was anything doubting me that Halo wasn't human, this was it. This was Halo's true form, his Acquirer form. I was left breathless, which was good because I think I forgot to breath.

"Marvelous, simply marvelous. This is enough spirit. I think it is time to go back to the waking world." Flemeth said. I blinked and I immediately felt the cold. The small blanket did nothing to keep away the cold.

Though I shivered more at Halo's true form than anything else.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku!**

 **Keep an eye out on these Flemeth chapters as there is going to be A TON of foreshadowing. Not just for DAO, oh no, this foreshadowing goes much more beyond that. Let's see if anyone can actually get some of it right. Also we've hit 150 reviews! :D You guys are awesome! Don't forget, the 200th reviewer gets a spoiler free question for Inquisition!**

 **Also the cover art has finally been uploaded! To see all of it's majesty, also updated portrayals of Talen, Derek, Eren, and Nia, go to** **yamiayala. deviantart art / Days - of - Our - Start - Cover - Art - 630259933 Just remember to take out the spaces.**

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	49. Stirs of Hope

9:30 Wintermarch 27th

"Did you sleep well?" Flemeth asked, back to her grandmotherly attire. She was already heating up some delicious smelling food. I nodded mutely, still stuck on Halo's true form.

"You and your friends may wash your clothing and dry them inside. If the Grey Wardens are planning to leave for Ostagar, they will not be back until nightfall." Flemeth said.

"Why are you helping us so much?" I asked. Flemeth smiled.

"The world is being changed little by little. Changes that would send destinies spiraling together and create an opportunity." Flemeth said.

"So you're using us for your benefit." I stated.

"As I said before, everyone has their selfish reasons." Flemeth said. Mythal wanted to destroy those that killed her. Because of that she needs Fen'Harel to blend the fade and the real world together once more, releasing the ones that killed her. I clenched my teeth. There wasn't anything I could do for the future except prepare the others. "The bucket is right next to the table and there is dry firewood next to the hearth." I nodded while I gathered my clothes.

I was washing clothes in one of the enemy's house. How strange is that? Of course washing clothes required water, which was outside, where everyone else was. I had the bucket in one hand and the other hovered over the doorknob. Nervousness was held inside the bottle that was my heart, instead I allowed anger to take hold. I threw open the door. The others were already awake. A few stared but I didn't care.

I walked over to the river that was behind Flemeth's hut and gathered water. It was ice cold and I breathed in the icy air to ready myself. I went back and I saw Wynne smile at me. That made me feel slightly better.

"Flemeth said we can wash clothes and dry them in the house." I said.

"Before that, I would like to speak to the Grey Wardens." Flemeth startled me. I held my hand over my pumping heart. She cackled at my fear. Ugh, I won't be able to be relaxed around this pseudo goddess. Eren, Derek, Alistair, and Talen followed her. Eren gave me a glance but I looked away. They closed the door.

"Well, it seems someone had good fortune last night no?" Zevran piped in. I ignored him and went to Wynne.

"Do you still have some soap Wynne?" I asked.

"Of course. I have two different ones, lavender or rose?" She said. I hummed to decide.

"Are you going to ignore us?" Leliana asked.

"It depends." I said, while getting the lavender smelling one. Wynne came over and placed her hands around the bucket. Soon it was steaming slightly.

"There, it should be warm enough for our hands now." Wynne said.

"Thank you." I said.

"Is what you said true?" Leliana asked. I finally looked and we caught each other's gaze.

"Yes. It's true. I'm from a different world. Though, considering some recent events, I decided not to care what you guys have to say on it." I said coldly.

"And why is that?" Zevran asked.

"Because I'm going home one day." I said. 'And with it goes your memories of me, most likely. Which means that you won't miss me.' I thought. It made me a bit sad. "Then I won't have to worry about blights or anything else. I can go back to my old job of taking care of my family."

"You don't believe you have a responsibility to us?" Wynne asked.

"It's the Grey Wardens job to go against the Blight. Everyone is here because they had nowhere else to go or because they want to help. I came because I made a promise with Eren's mother. I can always choose to go to Orlais or the Free Marches to escape the Blight. I don't need to stay." I explained. "But I swore on Eleanor's deathbed that I would protect Eren. Once that's over, I'm gone." Of course I'm not sure if I'd be here this long. Even then, if I left then Eren…I still don't like to think about that.

Wynne and I took turns using the buckets to wash our clothes. Her mage robes were enchanted to keep away dirt as well as her shoes. Of course her undergarments were different. We took turns in washing our things.

"I must apologize." Leliana said as I tried wringing out my clothes before the water got cold again.

"For what?" I shrugged.

"If what you said is true-"

"Which it is." I stated. Leliana sighed.

"A world beyond the veil is something I can't even fathom. It's hard enough to believe that the Maker has given up hope on this world. If you come from there, then how are you going to go back? Blood magic?" Leliana asked. That caught me off guard so much that I started laughing.

"Ha! Jesus! Does it look like I'm a mage?" I laughed. Leliana got that frustrated blush.

"Then inform us as to how." Zevran leaned it.

"My spirit will send me back." I said.

"Spirit?" Leliana wondered.

"Nia has a guardian spirit that tore open the veil and allowed her to pass through this world. That same spirit will take her back." Wynne explained.

"Wait, you knew?" Zevran wondered.

"She was the one that detected my spirit in the first place. She's a medium, capable of summoning and talking to spirits." I explained. Wynne nodded.

"I did wonder whether or not her spirit is helping her but, rest assured, that he won't harm any of you." Wynne settled everyone down.

"How do you know that?" Zevran asked.

"She came into the fade with me. I can fade walk." I said.

"Are you sure you are not a saarebas?" Sten asked. It surprised me. I nodded. He scowled. Something else that he couldn't explain again.

"That's the reason why things call me the irregularity. By all accounts, I'm not supposed to exist but I do." I explained. Then the others got out of the hut. They were all scowling. Eren gave out a long sigh.

"We're getting ready to go to Ostagar. We don't know when we'll be back." Eren said.

"I am coming with you." Wynne stood up.

"Senior if you come with us, you might get Blight sickness." Derek said.

"If it comes to that, I'm sure you'll take the right steps to prevent me from turning into a ghoul. I have to go back. I need to confront the ghosts that follow me." Wynne said. Eren rubbed his face.

"Fine. It would be better if we had two healers instead of one. We'll try to come back soon." Eren said, giving me a side glance. I looked away. They followed a trail that led deeper into the woods. Wynne asked me if I could dry her clothes and I nodded.

"Things are going to get quiet without them here." Leliana sighed.

"Then I'm going to put these clothes inside so they can dry properly. Go ahead and wash up guys. We don't know when we're going to get another opportunity like this. In my opinion, I don't like to be caked in filth." I said.

"Filth is a great way to describe Ferelden, brown mud, brown landscapes, brown and smelly dogs." Zevran laughed.

"Then you have only experienced one side to Ferelden. It becomes beautiful in autumn." I mentioned. I put the clothes back inside above the hearth so they can fully dry. I went back out and found a relatively dry stump. I took off my boots and also cleaned them.

"You take great precedence in being clean. It's something that I haven't seen in this country." Zevran said.

"Back where I used to live, it was all about being clean. You wash yourself once a day, brush your teeth, wash your hair, the works." I said.

"I do not believe you are from another world. An idea such as that is preposterous." Sten scoffed, also doing maintenance on his armor.

"Some things can't be explained." I said.

"Everything can be explained, everything has a place and purpose. Everyone has a nature that they must rise up and accept." Sten replied.

"In a sense, you're right. The world and nature has a sense that humans don't have. Birds fly north to escape the cold of the south. Then migrate back. They flock, they reproduce, they live by their instincts. Everything in nature has a place. Every little thing from the insects to the beasts in the wild has a place. Humans, elves, qunari, and dwarves are different though. We are saddled with free will. We have choices." I said.

"Choices do not matter in the Qun. You are or you aren't. A baker will live as a baker, a priest will live as a priest, a warrior as a warrior. There is no straying from your path. Those that do will either be killed or fixed." Sten said.

"Oh you mean your secret police?" I mentioned. Sten glared at me. "I know about the Ben-Hassrath, the re-educators."

"Did your Tal'Vashoth tell you this as well?" Sten grumbled.

"You could say that. Truthfully the Qun is beautiful, that everything has a place but in the end it can also be a shackle. Indoctrination can make people happy but there are those that break from that. If the Qun was as powerful as you say it is Sten, then why do all these other nations exist?" I asked.

"The Ashkaari are still trying to find an answer to that." Sten scowled. I laughed.

"I don't understand anything they were talking about." Leliana said.

"I did. There were Qunari in the crows as well. We do not shy from any races so long as they get the job done. It's how I learned that there are no names in the Qunari lands, only jobs, isn't that right my grey friend?" Zevran asked.

"We are not friend's elf." Sten glared.

"We might as well be. How long do you think we'll be together for? It will not take merely a week to gather all the allies we can." Zevran waved his hand. Sten grunted.

"If we are timely then this Blight will end before the new year." Sten grumbled.

"And if we fail, then a good decade awaits us before the Blight is over and we'll lose Ferelden, most of Orlais and maybe some of the Free Marches." I commented.

"Your optimism becomes you." Leliana said sarcastically.

"You're welcome." I laughed. "But seriously, I believe in the Grey Wardens. I know that they'll have the means to assemble everyone." Avengers, assemble! No wait, wrong franchise.

"You place much trust on callow leaders." Sten stated.

"Well excuse me for not having a veteran of the Fourth Blight here for not being able to lead them." I snapped.

"You should be getting angry with them, not me." Sten replied.

"You can't expect them to get everyone together in a month's time, especially with Loghain breathing down our necks." I sighed.

"It seems this whole country is entirely against you." Zevran chuckled.

"As long as its leaders want the Grey Wardens dead, then it really does seem like it." Leliana frowned.

"Now who's the optimist?" I chuckled.

"Is Loghain such a threat? I overheard some of their conversation of how the country is on the edge of a civil war." Zevran added.

"Of course it would be. Their heroic king is killed by dubious means, his father-in-law was declared regent, and he made the killer of the Cousland family his confidant and arl of Denerim. All in all, it is not fooling anyone." Leliana explained.

"The only thing keeping Loghain on the throne, for now, is because he's a war hero that saved them from Orlais. Once we show everyone his true colors, then they'll ally against him. First things first though, we need leverage against him." I said.

"Your people and its politics are confounding." Sten grumbled.

"You can say that again." I mumbled. After that, we all did our own thing. I cleaned up as many clothes as I could, Leliana seemed to be writing something, Zevran was taking it easy, and Sten was meditating. I went to check on the clothes when Flemeth appeared behind me. It startled me again.

"You seem so easily scared of me." Flemeth chuckled.

"You just like sneaking up on people." I mumbled. She cackled before opening her hand. It was the size of a large marble, black with what looked like to be a flame inside. "What is this?"

"Your payment for allowing me to see your spirit's true form. With this, everything is settled." Flemeth said.

"But what exactly is it?" I took it and looked at it.

"Perhaps it's a silly little trinket that looks pretty, perhaps it is a part of me that I have gifted you, or perhaps it's a choice, a destiny, a link. It should serve you well." Flemeth explained ambiguously. I'll eventually figure it out, maybe.

"Thank you." I said. Flemeth smiled at me and went to making food. I was able to take down my clothes as well as Wynne's clothes. Leliana came in to get her own. I left the guy's clothes alone. I was their team mate not their mother. After that, Leliana and I went to the river to get some fish. She tried teaching me to catch fish with my own hands. I was not talented at all.

"Urgh!" I rubbed my hands quickly to get them warm. Leliana was laughing at me. She had already snagged three fish. "How in the hell are you doing that?"

"Technique. You must have quick hands as well as predict the fish's next move. You must follow these fast movements and know when to strike." Leliana said, getting another fish.

"Easy for you to say, you've been fighting a lot longer than I have." I said, looking at the fish.

"One day you will reach that threshold." Leliana said. I didn't want to say no. I knew that my time to go home would eventually come. Then I won't be needing these skills. In the end, Leliana caught 10 while I barely caught one. I nearly fell in too.

We made our camp fire and prepared the fish. I put in some herbs inside the fish to at least make them tastier. The sky was getting that orange and pink tint in the sky. The good thing was that there were no clouds in the sky. It was still really cold though.

I was off in my own little world looking at the marble like item that Flemeth gave me. It was warm to the touch and the fire waned on and off. Oddly enough it didn't seem to make any sort of light. I made sure to memorize every single part of it. I wanted to ask Halo about it once I went back into the fade. That reminded me of Halo's true form. Something so powerful and big…no wonder that one spirit called him a behemoth. He certainly looked like one.

A fallen angel was my guardian and has now turned into a spirit because of this world's law. A being that can rend the very fade, a being that has power enough to contest against the blood magic of the ancient magisters. I'm not sure if I should feel blessed or cursed. It's because of Halo that spirits are attracted to me but shouldn't they be trying to catch Halo in the fade instead of me? My body is normal. I don't see any reason why they would like to possess me. I'll have to ask Halo that too.

Maybe I should have people come into the fade with me. At least then, Halo would actually give me answers instead of giving me the run around. I put the marble like item inside the pouch of coins I still had. It wasn't much but I did like to save money. You never know.

Eventually we all ate our share of fish and took the others from the fire so they wouldn't get burned. The night fell and I was humming a song as I went through my old entries. I needed another one. This one was able to become full.

"Do you think Bodahn might have empty journals like this one?" I asked.

"Perhaps, is that one almost full?" Leliana asked.

"Yeah. I've had this thing for a few years now. I'll need a new one soon." I said.

"Why do you write?" Zevran asked.

"To vent mostly. I didn't have friends in Highever. Never had time to. Eren kept me busy most of the time. When I went on rounds with other guards, it was just that, work." I explained.

"And you don't consider us friends?" Zevran had a mock hurt face going on.

"Acquaintances." I said.

"Even after our life and death scenarios?" Zevran asked.

"You're the cause of one of them." I said flatly.

"Then why did you tell us about yourself if you don't consider us friends?" Leliana asked.

"Well you guys asked an honest question you got an honest answer." I responded.

"That is because she is leaving soon." Sten stated. I did a side glance at him. "You would not lay your arms down unless it is because of that." I have to hand it to the big guy, he's perceptive when he wants to be.

"I don't know when I'll be going home. All I know is that I'll go home one day." I said. It wasn't technically a lie but it wasn't the complete truth either. A part of me felt bad that I was keeping this from them. The bigger part of me just wanted to go home. I heard rustling and crept near where I kept my daggers. The others did the same to their weapons. Then I heard a yell and a splash.

"Argh! Why does this forest have so many holes!?" I heard Derek yell.

"You need to really check where you're stepping!" Talen came out of the woods. His robes were full of blood. Everyone else came through too. They were the same as well minus Wynne. I took a look on their faces and everyone had a feeling of anguish. Eren rubbed his face and came toward us.

"Oh Thank the Maker that you had food ready." Talen went over.

"Ugh, I don't think I can even eat after what we've been through." Alistair sat down unceremoniously. Derek grumbled about being wet and cold while Wynne followed him. Eren laid his head on my shoulder. I felt awkward before he gave out a long sigh. He was shivering. I patted his head.

"I'm back." He said quietly. I sighed and shook my head.

"Welcome back."

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku!**

 **And so the little Flemeth marble makes a return. Of course this time it's not going disappear anytime soon. I have plans for it, muhahah!**

 **Thank you AgentMaine49 and Dree66 for favoriting/following! Thank you Chimera Spyke, WindBear47, Syutaku, and LadyDragon1316 (Much thanks for your point of view!) for reviewing! PLEASE REVIEW! :D**


	50. Being Selfish

9:30 Wintermarch 27th

We all gathered around the fire. Derek had to slosh back to get the pack of items that were dropped. When he opened it up, it gleamed. It was Cailan's armor as well as other weapons. I could only assume that those were Duncan's things.

"There were different alphas that carried a part of it with them like some sort of sodding trophy." Derek spat angrily.

"We also found Cailan's body." Alistair sighed heavily.

"Even after several weeks, it wasn't even rotting. It was surreal." Talen talked while he ate.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Leliana asked. Eren nodded and pulled out a roll of vellum. They were stacked letters.

"These are the things that the chest was holding onto." Eren said. "They were correspondence from the Empress of Orlais and King Cailan. She was promising Orlesian Grey Wardens and troops."

"So they were going to help." Leliana stated.

"Help that isn't going to come unfortunately, thanks to Loghain." Alistair said darkly. Eren gave me the vellum and I read through it. It was completely different from the very few letters in game. These were detailed letters of how many forces were going to join, the when and where they were going to be, and when Celene was going to join too. There was also a few non formal letters to Cailan; one that spoke of a concrete alliance.

"She was…offering an alliance through marriage?" I breathed out.

"It shocked us too." Eren sighed.

"Isn't that a good thing? The might of Orlais and Ferelden as one?" Zevran asked.

"Many people in Ferelden are still extremely bitter about their war for independence. There are still those that look at Orlesians with hatred." Leliana sighed.

"How could he even think of such a political marriage, especially about the fact that our fathers fought against them for so long!? What about Queen Anora!? At this point, I'm glad that a King like him is dead." Eren scoffed.

"Don't you dare mock a dead man!" Alistair shouted. "He did what he thought was best for the country!"

"He was a child playing war." Eren said darkly. "Someone like him can never be compared to his father. All he wanted was to be remembered like a hero. In the end, he was a failure." Alistair got up and Eren as well while they glared at each other.

"Prince, I got to agree with Boss on this one." Derek heavily sighed.

"What? You too?!" Alistair said.

"You weren't there at the meeting. Cailan didn't understand what needed to be done. There was no real strategy. The one we had was extremely simple. It wouldn't be enough for the horde. Loghain was wrong in not waiting for reinforcements though. Either way, this was a mish mash, a thrown together army. Something like this was never going to defeat the Blight." Derek explained. "Now, both of you calm down. Mistakes happened, promises were made and broken, now we're left to pick up the pieces. There's no point in fighting over our opinions of what should have been. It's in the past." I nearly gaped at Derek. It was easy to forget he was much older than all of us. He looked his age then, perhaps even older.

Eren and Alistair sat back down. I sighed, putting away the letters in my pack. I saw Wynne just staring at the fire and everyone else eating silently. Then of course I remembered the information from the future, about how Celene WAS going to invade during the Blight and take Ferelden again. In the end, Loghain was right. There was no way that I could tell the rest though. Everyone hates him. I can understand him though.

I read through Loghain's history, how he fought with Maric and Rowan. I knew about Katriel, about Maric's dealings with Flemeth. About how Loghain made him kill the woman he loved. He will betray you, each worse than the last. Looks like Flemeth's words rang true. Loghain is running Maric's beloved country to the ground, all on foolish pride. The thing was I understood everything. Loghain fought, spilled blood, gave up the only woman he loved for this country. Only to be run by Maric's foolish son who had no idea what to really do. Everyone knew that Anora held this country. I can understand him. It doesn't excuse him however.

In the end, I wouldn't be the one that held Loghain's life in their hands. I looked at the Grey Wardens. Eventually we would come into the Landsmeet and either of them would be put to combat with them. Alistair, Eren, Derek, or Talen. If I had to guess, it would either be Alistair or Eren. They are the ones that held the most wounds because of Loghain and his people. Eren for Howe, Alistair for Duncan. It would be best if Alistair became king and ruled alongside Anora. That would be the best thing.

I wouldn't be there though. At least, I don't think so. Soon I'll go home and all of this would be behind me. I put on a small smile with that. Then there was that small seed of doubt. Flemeth told me of a choice that wouldn't be in my hands. If I wasn't quick enough…I didn't want to think about that.

"We should rest now." Wynne sighed.

"The bucket is still out here. You can wash up as much as you can." I said.

"Good, we'll need it." Derek laughed. I saw Flemeth open the door. She was waiting. I got up and went inside.

"Why do I still have to sleep here if you've already seen Halo?" I asked.

"I wish to speak to him again." Flemeth chuckled before going to her own bed. The hairs at the back of my head prickled and I got goosebumps. I don't think I'll ever get through this fear I had. I got ready for bed. Let's hope tomorrow we'll finally leave.

9:30 Wintermarch 28th

I woke back into the fade underneath that same apple tree. I sat up and I felt a light cool breeze pass me by. I smelled rain in the air, fresh and earthy. The sky was blue with minor clouds and there seemed to be more apples in the tree than last time.

"So this is what my mind looks like…It seems pretty empty now that I think about it." I hummed. Flemeth cackled next to me. It startled me so much I ended up rolling down the hill.

"A clear mind is better than a raging one. Always keep that in mind." Flemeth walked down toward me. I have to admit, I was extremely relaxed here. I saw Halo float down toward us. He had this annoyed look on his face.

'Why are you here again?' He asked.

"As long as I am near her, I can visit here. There are others that possess the same ability as I do. Fade walkers can come and go so long as they don't mean any harm. Of course, there are those that might accidentally find themselves here." Flemeth chuckled. I raised my eyebrow in confusion while Halo sighed.

'Is there something else you would ask of me?' Halo wondered.

"Of course. I know when something is hidden from me though I can see you had plenty practice of lying to those close to you." Flemeth sat in a chair that appeared out of nowhere. I gulped as I felt cold chills coming up and settling in my hands. Halo seem to glare. "Those that can see farther than anyone tend to try to change others, change the choices, perhaps even change the story. How far can you see? Both of you." Flemeth looked at where I was sitting on the ground. I gulped nervously.

"Why do you need to know that?" I asked.

"To prepare of course." Flemeth smiled. "What do you know? How far can you see? It has been a long time since I have met others that can see such as I can."

'We have no obligation to answer your questions Fallen.' Halo said. Flemeth raised her eyebrow.

"Fallen?" Flemeth wondered.

'You and I are not so different. We came from a high pedestal, fighting for something that we believed in, only to be struck down. I am fighting for redemption however. I am fighting for someone I love. You, on the other hand, are fighting for a petty revenge.' Halo struck down. Flemeth frowned.

"Uh Halo, I think you're forgetting who we're talking to." I said.

'You should not fear her Beloved.' Halo glared at Flemeth.

"What do you mean I shouldn't fear her!? I know who and what she is that's why I'm afraid!" I said. Flemeth looked and smiled at me. I gulped. Shit.

"Then you know my true name." Flemeth chuckled. I felt that Halo did a face palm.

"I-It, well, the, it's just…bleh, yes." I sighed, bowing my head. "But I can't tell you what's going to happen next. I mean, I know what's going to happen next but-"

"It doesn't concern you? Is that what you think?" Flemeth said. I looked up at her and she was standing. Halo was hovering right above me. Flemeth held out her hand. "I meant what I said about those who bow without understanding, those who bow too quickly. You did so because you fear and respect what I was but I am not that anymore. Rise." Before I knew it, I took her hand and she helped me up. My land shifted to a world that had crystal spirals, beautiful landscapes, and even floating islands. I couldn't even control my own imagination. I saw Flemeth look at if fondly before it settled right back to the old plains and apple tree. "You know more than what you let on." She let go of my hand.

"I have always enjoyed this world. I try to remember everything. I tried to read about everything, I wanted to commit everything I knew to memory. I was, am still obsessed really." I sighed.

"Having information is both a blessing and a curse. I am only telling you this because from what I can see, you have much to offer this world. That would only come about until you can make your choice. If that choice is made for you, however, you have my condolences." Flemeth described. I couldn't get it through my head.

"Why are you so nice to me? You're Flemeth. Anything you do and anything you say there's always a catch." I said, walking backwards. "There's always something that has to benefit you no matter what."

"You have not thought that you being here is my catch?" Flemeth smiled mysteriously.

"Either way if I'm here or not here, your plans are still going to go through." I said.

"Is that so?" Flemeth cackled. I felt myself being lifted and I cried out. I gasped as my world almost turned white though I can still see through a part of it.

"Hey! What the-"

'You have asked enough.' I heard Halo voice boom. I floated above Flemeth and she looked up at me.

"So you are able to do this as well?" Flemeth smiled.

'You are done here.' Halo warned. My mind started to hurt as I got down on my knees and held my forehead. It was so painful that I didn't realize that Flemeth was no longer there. I fell onto the ground and the pain in my head stopped. Halo was in his Acquirer form and I was left breathless again until I remembered what happened.

"Halo what did you do?" I asked.

'As long as you were inside me, I could protect you.' Halo shrunk down again to his ball. 'I forced her out. She is no longer welcome inside our realm.'

"You know she'll be able to come in by force." I stated, getting up.

'She can try.' Halo huffed. I laughed but out of relief.

"I nearly told her everything didn't I?" I felt bad for myself until Halo floated onto my head.

'She knows much. What I cannot allow is for her to use you. She has her own battles to fight. She does not need to include you in them.' Halo scowled.

"Yeah. You're right." I sighed and sat down on the ground. It was peaceful here. I think the only thing that was off was that there was no sun. "Halo, thank you."

'Of course Beloved.'

I woke up and got up quickly, only to realize that Flemeth was no longer sleeping in her bed. I had a cold sweat going on and my heart was pumping. That was too much to bear. My heart can't take much more of Flemeth. I just wanted out of here, whether we killed her or not.

I got up and ready. Flemeth was already outside talking to the Grey Wardens. I scowled and got angry. She only kept me around to benefit her own situation. She didn't care about anything so long as she got what she wanted. I get it. Selfish reasons and what not. In the end, I was angry at her and myself.

I made a vow; for the time remaining that I'm here, I'm going to help and prepare the others. The future can't be set in its ways. I'm here so that means things can change. I might as well try to make it happen. I went outside but Flemeth kept her eyes clear on Eren this time. We silently made camp. This was another reason why we came here. To kill Flemeth. Of course that's impossible but still we could put her out of commission for a second. Jesus Christ what power she has.

"Do you have everything?" Wynne asked.

"Yeah." I replied, putting on the last of my armor. Flemeth had a shit eating grin on her face like she knew. She probably did.

"Alright boss! We're packed and ready to roll!" Derek shouted.

"Good. Thank you Flemeth. We appreciate you for your help." Eren said.

"As you should. Your path will be treacherous but you will succeed in time." Flemeth chuckled. "I was hoping for a reunion with my daughter but that I will save for next time." Eren and the other Wardens tensed up.

"We need something of yours for her." Eren stated.

"Is that so?" Flemeth wondered.

"We know all about how you prolong your life and how you're going to use Morrigan's body to increase your life span. You sent her with us just so she can get stronger and it would be easier for you to take it over." Eren explained.

"It seems I have been uncovered but this does not need to end in bloodshed. You need my true grimoire do you not? Then take it. Tell her I am slain." Flemeth suggested.

"What makes you think we can trust your word?" Talen asked.

"I have kept it thus far have I not? I am merely giving you another choice." Flemeth said.

"And what about Morrigan?" Eren asked.

"I am content of merely watching her how she'll change. Perhaps one day I will encounter her again to do as you say but for now let her think she has won her freedom." Flemeth smirked. I saw Eren thinking about it and then settle on a decision.

"No deal Flemeth. Morrigan is going to stay safe with us." Eren said.

"As you wish. She will earn what she takes. I would have it no other way." Flemeth said as she walked up to the hill near her hut. Her body glowed brightly as her body grew and grew and grew. Before long there was a purplish dragon in front of us.

"Called it." I said before she roared. It pierced through my head and I became disoriented for a moment. We all just stood around as I heard ringing in my ears. I saw a shadow of a tail and jumped out of the way. Derek, Sten, and Talen weren't so lucky. The ringing started to dissipate but the voices still sounded muffled.

"Wynne! Talen! Leliana! Go to the trees for cover!" Eren screamed. The others came around while Flemeth jumped around and got ready for a breath attack. I ran forward and I saw Zevran do the same. I looked back and Alistair and Eren got together and raise their shields. I saw a barrier form right in front of them. Derek and Sten were both behind them. Flemeth let out her flame breath but their defense held.

I was evading her stomps while trying to stab her stomach or her inner thighs. Dragons have intensely hard scales but their inner scales weren't as tough. The she raised her leg. I barely got out of the way. She roared as she flapped her wings. It created a spiral of air that brought everyone close. I couldn't focus on my teammates though. I had to work to wound her as much as I could.

Zevran and I focused our daggers on the backs of her legs. After I did a strong hammer punch, Zevran followed through with a set of quick stabs and slashes. I heard Flemeth roar in pain as I saw the first trickle of blood. I had a grin of victory before a tail swipe threw Zevran and I toward the trees. I rolled in the water as I saw the remnants of my shoulder guard drop into the water.

My hood was also shredded but I got back up. I saw Alistair, Derek, Sten, and Eren all team up on her. She sent out a fireball that scorched the ground. She stomped and raised her claw. They separated. I saw Zevran who had a head wound. He wiped the blood and nodded to me. Ok the break was over. We both ran up and started to attack the other leg. Flemeth jumped up and did a strong gale with her wings that pushed all of us over.

Then I saw a barrage of lightning and fire attacks coming from the woods. There were arrows coming from another side of the forest. Flemeth roared again but was caught off guard by Derek's maul. It shattered the right front leg. Flemeth roared in pain before letting out a breath of fire. We all separated. She sent out another fireball toward the direction of Talen and Wynne. I saw a shimmer of a barrier and sighed in relief. She beat her wings again and took flight. I cursed and looked at the others.

"Scatter! She's going to hurl fireballs at the ground!" I warned. As soon as I said that, she already let one loose. We all scattered and it hit the ground. The water surrounding it evaporated from the immense heat and a few trees started to catch on fire. We all ran in different directions, evading two more fireballs before she stumbled back to the ground. She tried snipping at the group and caught Alistair's shield, crushing it in her jaws.

"Shit!" I heard Alistair yell while I ran toward the back.

"Keep at it! She's getting slower!" Derek shouted. Flemeth roared and swiped her tail. Zevran and I hit the deck as well as the others.

"Nia! Zevran! Out of the way!" I heard Talen yell. I grabbed Zevran and ran toward Eren. Where we were standing was a flurry of small fireballs raining down on Flemeth followed by a cloud of lighting. Flemeth did small roars of pain. I saw Sten kneel and run his large great sword through the belly of Flemeth. Large pools of blood began to fill the evaporated pools of water.

Alistair, Eren, and Derek focused on the other front leg while Zevran and I got the other back leg. Spells were flying through the air alongside Leliana's arrows. I could feel the exhaustion in my body but I kept on punching and stabbing. My life did depend on it. Flemeth swiped her tail, slashed with both her front and back legs. Something as big as that though was easy to evade so long as you timed it right. Then the other legs were broken. Flemeth laid on the ground.

Eren wasn't wasting any time. He climbed onto her and stabbed downward, deeper and deeper through Flemeth's eye until her body stopped moving. Eren took out his sword and fell from her head onto the ground. He groaned as all of us ran to him panting out of exhaustion. Talen came out with a blue bottle in his hands. He drank it and came toward us. Wynne following, leaning on her staff.

"She's dead right?" Talen asked as his hands glowed green.

"Priss, she stopped flopping around. Of course she's dead now heal us damn it!" Derek shouted and groaned on the ground.

"Andraste's breeches. I would hate to fight another dragon again." Zevran sighed. I nodded while running my hand through my hair…and finding more scorched pieces.

"Ugh." My poor hair.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku!**

 **Ok guys, sorry for my late update but my work got hit with mandatory overtime. I've been clocking in 10 hour shifts on a near daily basis. Exhaustion is catching up with me but hey, we hit 50 chapters! :D Wow! I'm so proud of myself and of you guys that have stayed with me! Anyway, that's the last of the Flemeth chapters. Let's see if you can find some of the things that foreshadow certain events hee.**

 **Also guys, since my overtime and stuff, it's been harder to write. After this chapter, I'll be taking a 2 week break to catch my imagination again. I'll update again on Oct 5!**

 **Thank you bigwoof for following! Thank you Chimera Spyke, Syutaku, and WindBear47 for reviewing! Please review!**


	51. The Path Diverges

9:30 Wintermarch 28th

I sat outside cleaning my weapons while Eren and Derek were looking inside the hut for Flemeth's grimoire. They already asked me about it but I didn't know where it was exactly. There was a chest but that was it. My head hurts.

"I can't believe we…we just killed the Witch of the Wilds." Leliana breathed out and sat next to me.

"I can't believe we're still alive." I replied. I looked at the 'corpse' of Flemeth. She wouldn't really die from this. She's going to come back. Even after Solas took her power, she didn't die. She has way too many fail safes to leave it at that. I saw the door open and Eren came back out with a thick grimoire in his hands.

"We came for what we needed. Now we will leave." Eren said.

"Well can't say that we didn't tell her so but we told her so!" Derek laughed.

"Now I'm dead sure I'm going to ask Morrigan to teach me how to shape shift." Talen rubbed his hands in glee.

"Let's be off then. There is no time to waste." Wynne said. We all agreed and walked out of the forest. I took one more look at Flemeth's dragon body.

"Even if you satisfy your need for revenge, in the end all you'll end up with is an empty home." I said quietly before following the others.

We followed through the forest, following an extremely worn down path until we ended up at the end of the Imperial Highway. There were few clouds in the sky but it wasn't a bad day. We walked until the Grey Wardens stopped.

"We'll have to go towards the forest and avoid Lothering." Eren said. We had to take the long way around. Leliana kept her focus on the ruined town. We were out on the outskirts by the time dusk hit. We camped near a stream where I practiced my fish catching skill again. I think the one thing I hated about this was the fact that my fingers felt like stiff bones at the end. Leliana sighed as she caught another fish.

"Lothering will get better in time Leliana." I said.

"I hope so." She said quietly. We went back to camp and I saw Alistair looking at a sword and dagger away from the camp.

"Something else from Ostagar?" I said, sitting next to him and he got startled.

"I…yes." He looked down. I sat next to him. He rubbed his thumb across the flat of the blade. "These were Duncan's. They were still on the body of the Ogre he fell. It was resurrected by a darkspawn necromancer. You know I didn't even think that they could resurrect their fallen. I've only heard of necromancy from Nevarra but darkspawn…I hate that they can adapt." Alistair explained.

"I'm sorry for throwing Duncan's name around when we were fighting. I know how much he means to you." I said.

"No I'm sorry for getting so heated. Zevran just pisses me off, no offense." Alistair chuckled.

"Don't worry about it. Can you tell me more of Duncan?" I asked.

"Sure." Alistair sighed softly. "Duncan was…a father to me. He was a father to all of us but…I didn't grow up in a real family. I was a bastard child and was taken in by Arl Eamon. Don't think I lived the life of luxury though, I slept in the barn. When he remarried I was sent off to a monastery to become a Templar. Duncan saw potential in me and conscripted me. The Mother was furious to hand me over." Alistair laughed. "When I was in the Grey Wardens, for once I felt like I had a real family." Alistair sighed.

"It's nice to finally know where you belong." I said. Alistair nodded.

"About your story…A part of me really wants to believe you but…it's hard." Alistair said. I smirked and laughed.

"Ah that's fine. I just wanted someone to understand I guess. If it was as easy as a boat ride, I wouldn't be here. I would be home with my family." I sighed.

"You miss them." He stated.

"Terribly." I replied.

"Can you tell me more about them?" Alistair asked. "You rarely talk about them."

"I try not to because I feel like my world would come crashing down." I tried laughing it off. Alistair leaned in with his eyes brimming with curiosity. "Ok, ok. Stop giving me that puppy dog look."

"The puppy dog look always works." Alistair laughed.

I cleared my throat and blinked away the tears. I chuckled lightly. "Let's see..."

I started to remember how their lives started. How tiny was my son in my arms. My daughter's oddly shaped head. How differently they both entered the world. My world. I smiled and fought back the tears.

"My son's name is Ace. We named him after someone that inspired me and my husband. He was so tiny when I gave birth to him. I had complications with him." I described, remembering how he couldn't even fit newborn clothes and the labor involved with him.

"Complications?" Alistair asked.

"I was losing fluid with him so he never had a chance to grow when I was pregnant with him. Because of that they had to induce me which means they forced me to give birth." I explained.

"That seems painful." Alistair cringed.

"Oh it was. I was stuck in pain for hours. I was miserable but I did it. It wasn't that happy moment that I wanted though." I frowned. Alistair looked intently. "I got post-partum depression."

"What is that?" Alistair asked.

"Depression that hits after you give birth. I was a wreck. The world was grey. I didn't enjoy being a mother. Bad couldn't even begin to describe it. No one was there for me, not even my husband. They all told me to suck it up. I was a mother. I couldn't focus on myself. Then baby number two hit." I explained. "I either had to keep her or get rid of her."

"You actually contemplated getting rid of her?" Alistair wondered. I nodded.

"Yeah. Everyone was so angry at me. How could I get pregnant 5 months after Ace? I almost went through it too but then, it could have been my imagination, but I swear I heard her voice. She told me, 'It's ok. I can wait until next time.' It broke my heart. So, against everyone's wishes, I kept Alice She was the greatest decision I have ever made. My depression broke with her. They were so different too! He was tiny, she was huge! They both had jaundice though and had to be away from me for a time. But when I got them? It was like everything was right with the world. My son's dimples when he smiles and when he furrows his brow? He has this indentation on his forehead! It's so cute! And my daughter was just beginning to walk. She's so fat and adorable. Her hair is curly like her father's. It's such a bird nest, you can't control it. We call her the Turkey because when you put her legs and arms together, she looks just like a turkey waiting to be roasted. So fat." I gushed about my kids.

The more I talked about them, the more I felt like they were real. It was if I could reach out and feel the fuzzy head of my son or maybe the hands of my daughter. No matter how much time has gone by, I still remember them and their quirks.

"How did you husband feel about all of this?" Alistair put his chin on his hand and put his elbow on his leg.

"Well he wasn't ready at first of course. He was a little selfish when my son came around but we got used to it when my daughter came. We had gotten our first house for her too and everything seemed to fit. It was amazing. He loved me for my decision to have her. Ace Dragon, Alice Delilah are my world and they were his too." I explained.

"Dragon? You seriously named your son after a mindless beast?" Alistair chuckled.

"Yes and they aren't mindless." I stuck my tongue out. Alistair laughed.

"You make them sound so real. I would like to meet them, if I could." Alistair sighed.

"I wouldn't bring them in this world if I had the chance. They are too many things that can go wrong." I shook my head. I let out a deep breath and stared at the beautiful twinkling stars. "Thank you for letting me talk about them."

"Any time." Alistair nodded.

"You want to eat? Leliana and I got more fish." I offered.

"In a minute, I would still like to pay my respects." Alistair said, looking down at Duncan's weapons. I nodded and patted his head absentmindedly. I felt like we reached an understanding through our images of our families. It made my heart feel lighter. I hoped it would do the same for Alistair. I started helping make the tents when I heard a familiar creaking sound. Alfred came running in at full speed toward Eren while a raven shape shifted into Morrigan. Soon after she arrived, Bodahn came into the scene.

"Have you recovered mother's grimoire?" She asked. Eren got up and retrieved it from his pack. Morrigan, for once, had a sincere smile on her face. "I cannot thank you enough!" She breathed out.

"Then it's best you start on reading. It will be interesting to see how strong you can get." Eren smirked and slightly tipped Morrigan's chin before going back to his spot in front of the bonfire. Alfred barked around him while I noticed that slight tint on Morrigan's cheeks. She noticed my stare.

"Would you mind?" She huffed while going off to make her own tent. I rolled my eyes. Good feeling from talking about my family gone.

"Ah my friends! How was your trip into the Korcari Wilds? Do you need to replenish any supplies?" Bodahn came. Alfred went to Sandal and jumped around him.

"Yes, do you happen to have shields?" Alistair went up to talk to him.

"Of course I do my boy! Come have a look at my selection!" Bodahn showed him what was inside the cart. I went over to Morrigan who was getting her camp ready and she glared at me.

"I am about to uncover mysteries of my mother that I could not even begin to fathom. If you need a question to be answered, it would be best if you asked that harping enchanter that is in our group." Morrigan huffed. I got my pouch and took out the marble.

"Your mom was extremely interested in me." I mentioned.

"Of course she would." Morrigan rolled her eyes.

"Right before we left and killed her, she gave me this. Do you know what this is?" I asked, holding the marble in my hand. I noticed that it wasn't as warm as before and the flame was gone. Morrigan looked at it warily before grabbing it.

"Strange. This has remnants of mother's essence. And you said she gave this to you willingly? Did she explain anything about it?" Morrigan asked.

"She was being extremely cryptic and wouldn't give me a straight answer. She said that either it was a part of her or a link, a destiny, a choice. She told me it should serve me well but, other than that, nothing." I shrugged. Morrigan pursed her lips. I know that she doesn't like not knowing things.

"Would you mind if I held onto it? Perhaps there is something in mother's writings that may give us answers." Morrigan said. I shook my head.

"No, she gave it to me for a reason. I might as well keep it around me. If something does happen though, you'll be the first to know." I said.

"Fair enough. Now, leave me be." Morrigan gave me back the marble and went to setting up her camp. I sighed and put the marble back into my pouch. Everyone was already eating and I saw Alistair trying to haggle with Bodahn.

"No deal." Bodahn shook his head.

"I knew I should have saved more from my stipend." Alistair moaned.

"What is it? Not enough money?" I asked.

"I'm a gold away from getting a proper shield and I've already haggled from the enchantment placed on it." Alistair said.

"Enchantment!" Sandal clapped his hands.

"I know I owe you a discount for saving the life of me and my boy but I am a business man." Bodahn nodded.

"Just one sov?" I asked.

"Yes." Alistair sighed. I reached into my pouch and gave it to him.

"We can't have you without a shield." I chuckled.

"Oh thank Andraste for your kind my lady!" Alistair bowed. I rolled my eyes but laughed.

"Sure." I went back to camp and sat next to Leliana.

"You can be cute sometimes." Leliana giggled.

"Oh shut up and pass me a fish." I stuck out my tongue.

"You and Alistair were alone for some time. What were you talking about?" Leliana gave me a smirk.

"Nothing what you're thinking and I'll tell you later." I said.

"It won't be a long trip to Redcliffe from this point. A day and a half at the most." Talen went on to munching his second fish.

"And then Eamon would be on our side!" Derek laughed.

"So long as we don't get any unexpected visitors." Eren scoffed. Speak of the Devil and he shall come. Another wagon showed up to our spot.

"Ah Levi! I thought you would be in Denerim by now!" Bodahn called out to him.

"Well after hearing from the grape vine you were following Grey Wardens, I decided to follow as well." I saw a man with a horse pulled wagon. He got down from his horse and Eren immediately got up.

"A friend of yours Bodahn?" Eren was on the defensive.

"Acquaintance as all merchants are. I would like you to meet Levi Dryden. Handles well in this country." Bodahn said.

"Oh there's probably no need to introduce me. I'm sure Duncan might have mentioned me before." Levi said. Alistair came up and looked at him.

"Hm, I can't seem to recall Duncan saying anything about you." Alistair shrugged.

"Ah really? Nothing about little old me? Well he's not getting his discount the next time he comes around." Levi huffed.

"He's dead." Eren stated.

"I know." He sighed. "He was a good man. In fact, I was hoping that little tidbit of gossip was wrong but I guess Andraste didn't hear my prayers. As such, I must ask you Grey Wardens for the favor that he promised me long ago." Levi said.

"Not interested." Eren scoffed.

"Would you be interested if it had to do with the last outpost the Grey Wardens held before they were banished from Ferelden 200 years ago?" Levi offered.

"The last outpost?" Alistair wondered and Eren now listened intently.

"Yes my multiple great times grandmother was Sophia Dryden. She was the last Grey Warden Commander of Ferelden before they banished them. Duncan had promised me to join me to reclaim the tower to find out my Ancestor's innocence. I don't believe she wanted to take the crown. I believe she was forced into this by the King during that time. I will make it worth your while so long as you agree of course." Levi explained.

"So what's in it for us?" Talen came up.

"Food, equipment, as well as a sort of base of operations should we reclaim it, after the Blight is ended of course!" Levi offered. I listened in as I finished my fish. As soon as he said all of that, I saw the gears in Eren's brain working. It would be best to gather up good equipment and a place to call our own.

"Fine. We will accompany you." Eren said.

"Thank you good Ser. I have a map towards Soldier's Peak. As soon as your group is ready, we should leave in the morning." Levi said. Eren followed him to the wagon to review the map while the rest of us got together to get some sleep.

Soldier's Peak huh? Levi is going to be disappointed big time.

9:30 Wintermarch 29th

It would take us a near week to get to Soldier's peak since we're trekking from Lothering all the way near the Storm Coast. Not only that, it seems that there was a series of tunnels we'd need to take to get there too. The good thing was that now we had a wagon to sit in. The others could also sit on the cart that Bodahn had.

Derek hung out more with Bodahn. He wanted to hear more about Orzammar and its situation. It seems like the youngest princess was getting ready for her own expedition in the Deep Roads. That's another origin confirmed.

Alistair and Eren were both hounding Levi for more information, Alistair especially. Unfortunately, Levi couldn't give them more besides what led to the banishment of the Grey Wardens. Sophia and her cousin were both vying for the throne. Sophia was popular for the crown but Arland won. He had her imprisoned when she wouldn't stop but, with the people backing her, he didn't execute her but instead forced her in the Grey Wardens.

The Grey Wardens flourished under her command as she made the nobles give them more funding and had more people joining than ever. Once King Arland started to use his power to silence those that opposed him, she decided to put a stop to it. The rebellion started, Grey Wardens who were neutral went to Orlais, and then the siege of Soldier's Peak started. Everything culminated into the Grey Warden's banishment.

Of course I couldn't tell Levi any of this since I wasn't supposed to know any of it. It would save us a heap of trouble but having a merchant friend wasn't so bad. He had loads of food that made the rest of the group happy. Eren was up front with Levi, Alistair, Wynne, Talen, and Sten were in the wagon. Alfred, Derek, and Leliana were on the cart with Bodahn. Zevran and I were the only ones walking.

"I am surprised you didn't join the others in the wagon." Zevran inched closer to me. I walked further away.

"I didn't want to." I shrugged. "Besides, I decided that you'd be lonely without company."

"Ah already thinking of me are you? Should I leave a spot clear for you in my tent?" Zevran suggested.

"Sure, I'll see Alfred with you. Careful, he loves snuggles." I joked. Zevran chuckled.

"No, I would rather have poison ivy in my unmentionables. That dog is rather rank." Zevran shook his head.

"Don't let him hear you. He's a bit sensitive about his smell." I said.

"I will do my best not to insult him. There is something I did want to speak to you, however." Zevran said. I saw his demeanor change slightly.

"Ok?" I wondered.

"When we were fighting the witch turned dragon, I had noticed that your fighting style is extremely crude. Didn't you say you had training?" Zevran asked.

"I had training yeah but never anything against a dragon. I'm not one of those dragon hunters from Nevarra or something." I mentioned.

"I wouldn't think it." Zevran chuckled. "There is a certain hesitation in your blade however. I must ask, have you ever used your blade against another person?"

"If you're talking about going up and sparring then yes." I said.

"Let me put this in honest terms, have you ever killed someone?" Zevran asked. I glared at him and walked faster. "I assume from your reaction that you have."

"What's your point?" I gritted my teeth in annoyance.

"I believe you might be having performance anxiety." Zevran chuckled. I quickly turned toward him and glared.

"Unlike you who grew up with death Zevran, I had a relatively normal life. Then the one time I decide to kill was to help Eren and my friend." I clenched my fist as I remembered Rael's face. "In the end, I was left behind though. No thanks and no appreciation. I went and butchered my code for someone who dumped me in the end. Forgive me for not being enthusiastic in killing people." I angrily explained before following the rest.

"You place too much faith on others. In the end, you should swing your blade for yourself." Zevran said.

"I was forced to pick up the blade. Eren didn't want me to be useless when he went on his rounds." I explained.

"Then you don't like combat I presume?" Zevran said.

"Haven't you listened to anything I've been saying? I was a simple wife with nothing to worry about until I came here. Then I had to learn how to fight just so I can survive. I don't want to fight but I have to. It's not something I enjoy." I scoffed.

"You will eventually come to a time when that hesitation will either kill you or one of our group. Could you even look at yourself when that time comes?" Zevran said sincerely. I looked at him and remember Rena. So that's why he wanted me to get stronger. He didn't want the same thing happening to me.

"I…I don't know how. I remember them you know? The people I kill. I can remember their faces. I can remember the surroundings, the sky, the smells, everything. When we're fighting darkspawn or creatures its different but people? I…just can't. I want to save people." I sighed.

"This country is on track for a civil war. There are many sides to this conflict not counting the fantastical Blight side. It would do you well to abandon your hesitation." Zevran suggested.

"Well unless you have a sure way of helping me then there's nothing I can do." I sighed.

"You are very pure and, for someone like you on this journey, it's not a compliment." Zevran mentioned. I bit my lip from saying something extremely crude.

"Why do you care?" I said instead.

"Because I would rather have the dog watch my back than an unwilling blade." Zevran said.

"I can hit you where it hurts. That I have no problems with." I cracked my knuckles.

"Oh no, I would rather you not." Zevran chuckled nervously.

"Even if you're being extremely callous Zevran I get what you're saying. So I appreciate it, but the next time, how about you apply a little more tact so I don't have the want to crush those things you call jewels." I glared before walking ahead.

"Fair enough." He chuckled.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku!**

 **Ah that was a tasty break but I love this story so much I just can't stop writing it! Though I did do a boo boo and started thinking of other ideas...I might get a poll up for a few ideas but we'll see. I finally included some information about my family thanks to a suggestion to one of my reviewers (you know who you are! :3 )**

 **Thank you Amberlyn0007, NexUmbra, StormTigerXXL, QuoteMyFoot, Miymaou, Trotula, and remaogumi for favoriting/following! I appreciate all of you!**

 **Chimera Spyke:** _I think she was being too preoccupied on actually staying alive to even think about burnt hair lol_  
 **WindBear47:** _Because it's annoying like that xD  
_ **KoraKendalls:** _Oh! Thank you for that tidbit. It seems I remembered incorrectly. Though in the Orlais book (I can't remember the name right now) I did read that she also wanted to expand through marriage.  
_ **Guest:** _Yes there are horses in Ferelden but horses require maintenance and money, both are not available to the Grey Wardens. With their bounty, I doubt anyone would give them horses either. The reason why they don't split up either is because they would be sitting ducks if a large force surrounds them. There's safety in numbers. I hope that answers that :3  
_ **Syutaku:** _I'm glad you like the fighting scenes!_

**Please Review! :D**


	52. Traveling part 3

9:30 Wintermarch 30th

Today is the last day of the month. What a crazy month it's been. Howe attack the Couslands, the Ostagar failure, and lastly our mage allies. To think so much happened in such a short time. Now here we are traveling to Soldier's Peak. It would take about 9 days to travel there if the weather was good. It was lightly snowing right now and I didn't see any storm clouds so we got that going for us.

I was in the wagon with Leliana, Zevran, and Derek. Sten, Alfred, and Eren were walking. Wynne, Talen, and Alistair were on Bodahn's cart. It was nice being on a horse drawn wagon. Eren and Alistair both take turns taking care of the reigns. Derek, with his experience with horses, uses Levi's equipment to take care of their hooves and their food. It was amazing how much you needed to take care of them. I was never a horse person myself. Cats and dogs for me please.

"You seem to be lost in your thoughts. Anything on your mind?" Leliana asked.

"Huh? Oh I'm just going through all the events that happened in this month. Tomorrow is the first day of Guardian." I said, going over my journal.

"Has it been that long? Feels like a few days at most." Derek grunted.

"Yeah…" I read over my passages. So much has happened. It was kinda hard to wrap my mind over all of this. I ran my hand through my hair before remembering how it got burned several times.

"If you need someone to style your hair, you can say no more." Zevran piped in.

"And what do you know of cutting a woman's hair?" Leliana asked.

"I know of many things that would be able to aid me in assassination." Zevran winked.

"Pretending to cut someone's hair, tipping back their chin, and cutting their throat right?" I answered. Both Leliana and Zevran looked at me in shock. "What?"

"You have quite the idea for one missy!" Derek guffawed. My face grew red in embarrassment.

"That would be the case in other matters but not in this case. The next time we camp, I will cut your hair. Would you like a massage afterward? One for your scalp of course." Zevran hinted.

"No thanks Zevran. I can accept the cut but not anything else." I declined with a shake of my head.

"Try as hard as you might Zevran, but I think you will not get through to her." Leliana laughed.

"Yep! Loyalty is hard to come by nowadays!" Derek agreed.

"One day I shall bend you to my will Hermosa." Zevran winked.

"In your dreams maybe." I scoffed. Derek laughed at my comeback.

"So who was your husband missy? He must be a great man if you owe him this." Derek looked at me with curious eyes. Leliana and Zevran also looked expectantly.

"Well he wasn't a great warrior or anything. He was…a good man." I remembered fondly. "I am short but he was a foot taller than me. He was big and pudgy but he had some mean muscular arms. At first I didn't care for him. I didn't even know he loved me until he confessed 6 months after we've known each other."

"Truly? Didn't he do anything that would attract your attention? Bring you flowers or perhaps compliment you on your clothing?" Zevran asked.

"I never noticed." I shrugged. "After that we had our time together until we got together officially. I proposed after another 6 months."

"You proposed! Ha!" Derek guffawed.

"That seems…so improper!" Leliana giggled.

"Well you cannot deny that you aren't forward." Zevran chuckled.

"At the time I was rushing into it. I had a string of bad luck with men. He saved me from an abusive relationship and I thought that staying with him was…I guess a reward." I confessed. "Then my feelings grew beyond that and I naturally fell in love with him. We didn't get married until after my daughter was born though. It took a long time for us to prepare. We barely had enough money for anything and the night was so bittersweet too. A relationship is 50/50. We had our tough years, there were days that I wanted to leave. In the end, you need time, patience, understanding, compassion, and plenty of love to stay together." I explained.

"How nice. I wish to find something similar." Leliana sighed. Zevran opened his mouth but Leliana cut him off. "I said something similar, not a night in the cot." She glared.

"And there goes my proposition." Zevran sighed and shook his head.

"You really don't quit do you elf?" Derek huffed.

"Are you jealous my dear Grey Warden?" Zevran hinted.

"Don't you start with that nonsense unless you want my foot up your ass." Derek growled darkly.

"Now, now, there is no need for such violence. Is it so bad to want to indulge in your passions?" Zevran sighed dramatically.

"Not really but no means no Zevran." I countered.

"Determination is one of my strong points. It makes me an excellent assassin as well as a lover." Zevran chuckled.

"Good for you." I deadpanned. The wagon stopped and Derek looked out. It seems there was a group of people out on the road.

"Bandits. Get ready." Derek said, jumping off the wagon. The rest of us got off but Derek shook his head at all of us. "The big hitters are up first. You guys hide along the wagon and hit them once we've started fighting."

"Exactly why do these bandits come at us at the front?" Zevran asked as we sneaked along the wagon.

"Because our bandits are not as smart as the rest." Leliana replied. I nearly snorted. I heard some shouting until metal hit metal. Leliana got her bow ready while I followed Zevran's lead. Some of the bandits were facing away from us. There were two archers. A ball of wasps started to sting all the bandits. Zevran and I made our move then.

The bandits that were panicking, I hit with my knuckles. I broke two jaws and knocked another unconscious. The others weren't as merciful. I understood their point of view though that didn't mean I had to like it. After a string of lightning attacks, all the bandits hit the ground. Derek and Sten moved the ones that were in our way and we left.

We didn't have any more incidents like that and we set up camp once it started to get dark. The snow stopped and there were scattered clouds in the sky. We settled on our rations for tonight since we didn't hunt anything down.

"What I wouldn't give for some nug right now." Derek sighed.

"Aren't those the pig things you have underground?" Talen asked. Most of our camp was gathered around the fire. Morrigan had her separate camp and Sten always ate away from the group.

"They are so cute!" Leliana squealed.

"Cute? Have you seen their feet?" Alistair made a disgusted noise.

"Are you done with your meal?" Zevran asked sitting by me.

"Hm? Yeah." I said not really focusing.

"You are still thinking about the bandits from earlier." Zevran stated as he took out a small dagger.

"And what exactly are you doing?" Eren asked, glaring at Zevran.

"He's cutting my hair. Try not to panic." I answered. Eren huffed and looked away. I could feel Zevran's fingers going through my hair.

"You have such thin hair." Zevran stated as I heard the dagger cut away at it.

"Can't help it. It's from my grandmother. I really dislike it." I sighed.

"Now to my earlier inquiry…" Zevran started.

"I understand but I don't like it. I don't think I'll ever like it or enjoy it. It's something that we do because we have to do it not because we want to do it. At least, that's how I see it." I said.

"There are those that live for the thrill of battle, the gasp of every single death, or maybe the gasp of their own death. How they play with lives that they control and the power the comes with it. It is a very addicting feeling of power." Zevran mumbled as he cut my hair. Leliana came over and stared.

"Is there something wrong?" I wondered, my face heating up.

"No, it actually looks good. Almost like my own but you don't have the braid that comes with it." Leliana described my hair.

"May you please face me? I might as well fix you bangs." Zevran said. I got up and sat in front of him. The fire made his dark skin shine almost. He grabbed my bangs and cut them with a tenderness I never thought of him. I couldn't help but stare. He gave me one of his smirks. I felt a small blush and looked away. "And that should be the last of it." I ran my finger through my hair. He settled on a small messy bob but at least my bangs were semi straight.

"Thank you." I said sincerely.

"Of course now as for the payment." Zevran rubbed his chin and hummed.

"I knew there was a catch." Leliana giggled.

"Perhaps a smile from a beautiful lady." Zevran winked.

"You're crazy." I laughed.

9:30 Guardian 1st

What better way to start a brand new month than a trip to the fade?

Except this one…I almost didn't wake up from.

I woke up in my realm with a soft breeze swaying the leaves of the apple tree I was underneath. The fade looked so real but, when I looked up at the blue sky, the island where the Black City still floated. I sighed and laid on the grass. Real grass poked me and it felt like things were still moving underneath me. Not in the fade though. It almost felt like a bed, soft and warm.

Halo was off in the field. He was rattled by Flemeth, I could tell that much. Which made me wonder, if Halo explored the fade, does that mean he knew more than me?

"Halo, what kinds of things were you exploring in the fade?" I asked. Halo floated lazily next to me.

'Things that most cannot comprehend. I merely searched for spirits that would help. There are different realms here. You cannot enter unless you can find the pass letting you in. Think of it as this; you will not find spirits of compassion unless you feel compassion. It is the same for their realms. It's confusing.' Halo explained. I laughed.

"Sounds like it. Hey Halo, do you know what I know? About what's going to happen in this world?" I asked.

'So long as we remain tethered we share our minds. Eventually I will give you the power to summon those spirits that have chosen to help.' Halo said.

"No way! You can summon them? I thought only mages can do that." I looked at him in awe. His ball fluffed up.

'I am a being of power. This is child's play.' He huffed with pride.

"Then, from that time before when Flemeth was here, with those spiral castles, can I make images appear?" I asked. Halo looked at me.

'It can be done.' Halo said. I balled my fists as my heart started to pound.

"Can…Can I see my family then?" I asked. "Just for a bit?" Halo seemed to hum and paced/floated around, thinking. I was stuck with my anxiety until he floated in front of me.

'You will need to be careful. You can lose yourself in your memories.' Halo said.

"Then I'll trust you with that." I said. Halo chuckled.

'Close your eyes.' Halo instructed. I did. 'Open them.'

I wasn't sitting outside anymore. I was in the driveway of my own house. It wasn't distorted like the fade usually is. Both the van and the truck were there. The kitchen window was open and I could hear the kids laughing and the tv was on. I gulped and headed toward the door. I opened it and went through the kitchen to go into the living room.

My husband was playing video games at the living room tv. Both of my kids were on the mattress, playing. My daughter was crawling to catch my son who was doing his best to avoid her. I crouched down and watched them. They were exactly as I remembered them.

'This is a memory. You cannot interact with them.' Halo floated beside me.

"I know." I said softly. I watched as my memories interacted me at different intervals, a kiss there, my kids crying here, making them their bottles, feeding them, watching them sleep. My husband, Louis, keeping me company. It seemed to pass by so quickly.

'It's time to leave.' Halo said softly. I nodded. They couldn't feel it but I hugged both my daughter and my son and kiss my husband on his head.

"I'll be back ok?" I said to no one. I went out and closed the door behind me, standing right under the tree again. I let out a shaky breath as I started to cry. I felt Halo hug me but, for once, his warm light couldn't penetrate the ball of loneliness that had stayed in my heart.

I woke up with tears streaming out of my eyes. It was still dark out with Wynne and Leliana sleeping next to me. I saw the light of the fire and decided that I didn't want to sleep again. I took out my journal and my pencil and went out. The cold hit me quickly and I shuffled next to the fire.

"You're awake early." Eren said. I was surprised he was out there but nodded. I sat near the fire and began to write. "Was it a dream?"

"Yeah. One where I didn't want to wake up from." I sighed, my breath visible. Eren remained silent as the crackle of the fire and the sound of my writing were the only things audible.

"What was it about?" Eren asked.

"My family." I answered. Eren huffed and watched the fire. I got done with writing the segment of my dream and watched the fire.

"You and Zevran have gotten close." Eren stated.

"Slightly." I responded. "It's not like I mean to. I was the only one that stood up for him. Maybe that's why he's so stuck on me."

"I'm not very fond of it." Eren said.

"You and Alistair both." I said.

"Well, at least you've saved a life." Eren scoffed.

"I saved yours." I replied.

"…And yet my mother stayed." Eren said. That pierced through my heart.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. Eren's face contorted in pain.

"No, I should be the one apologizing. I wasn't…fair to you when everything happened." Eren rubbed his face.

"You did have reason to. You lost everyone in one single night. You saw it. I, at least, didn't see the faces of my own family when I left for Ferelden." I said. I could completely imagine my husband's look of despair though.

"My family was taken from me, while you were taken from your family. It may not seem like much but I do hope you reunite with them again." Eren said softly. His eyes were dead set on the fire. His startling ice blue eyes were empty but accepting. Little by little, Eren knew that his life wasn't going to be the same. The only thing I could do is be there as a friend.

Daylight soon came and, after eating, we went back on our way. Alfred, Sten, and I made up the back while the others were on the cart and wagon.

"Ok Sten, I need you to help me with something." I said.

"Of course I am the one to help with all your lofty problems." He deadpanned.

"I'm having performance anxiety when I fight." I explained while Alfred ran off into the forest.

"You cannot deal the killing blow." Sten stated. I nodded. "This stems from your inexperience and your denial to combat our enemies."

"But I do fight when we need to." I said.

"You battle but you hold your punches and your dagger does not meet flesh. We cannot afford to let our enemies live. This is why women cannot be fighters." Sten said with a huff.

He wasn't wrong. Ever since the day that Rael ended our friendship, my blade has stilled near other people. I killed those people to protect him and how did he repay me? Ending everything. I'm afraid of myself but I'm also afraid of others seeing me in a different light. I know the group wouldn't exactly judge me for it. In fact, they would welcome it but having lost Rael hit me greater than it should have.

But then I start thinking; if I can't protect them when the time calls for it and let them die because of my mistake, would I be able to look at myself? My head hurts. I'd rather not think about that.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku.**

 **I'M SO SORRY GUYS! I wanted to update this sooner but real life kicked me in the butt this past week. I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO UPDATE IT ON MY ANNIVERSARY FOR MY STORY! TT^TT**

 **That aside, it's been 2 years since Nia has gone on her crazy journey as I published Days of Our Lives on Oct 9, 2014. I have everything planned out neatly in my head and I can't wait for the new dragon age that's going to come out in the next few years. Here's to more good years to you guys! I LOVE ALL MY FOLLOWERS! Now let's hope I can get done with this story by next year lol**

 **Thank you Crazyhyper09, Rayne Nightingale9412 (for all the favorites lol), and batgerelbattumur213 for favoriting/following! Thank you Chimera Spyke and WindBear47 for your reviews! Please review!**


	53. Seriously, seriously Why Spiders?

9:30 Guardian 2nd

Spiders. Who's idea was it to include GIANT ASS SPIDERS in Dragon Age? Seriously. Seriously.

I'm going to have nightmares for weeks.

We had to trek through a forest path, diverging our path away from the tower and toward Soldier's Peak. As such, a group of us scouted up front in case there were any bandits ahead of us. It consisted of Sten, Alistair, Leliana, Alfred, Eren, and I. We had a good pace going. Most of the trees were pine trees and were still mostly green even in winter. As such, the ground wasn't as wet as it was in the plains.

It was still creepy though. Every now and then I would see some wildlife, fennec foxes scurrying about, some small hares creeping here and then, and Alfred found tracks to a pack of wolves. Leliana had her bow and arrows out in case she found a clear shot at any wildlife.

"If only there was a clean shot…" Leliana mumbled.

"We are here to scout not to hunt." Sten stated.

"There's no harm in doing both at the same time." Alistair chuckled. Sten grumbled at that. I saw something twinkle on the path that wasn't snow or water. I went up to the group and stopped Eren. I crouched down and noticed a clear wire.

"Traps. That means an ambush is waiting ahead." Eren deduced. I got my dagger and cleanly cut the wire. Nothing triggered and I let out a sigh of relief. We continued on and found footsteps clearly marked past the trees. We all took out our weapons and Eren ordered Alfred to go back and warn the others.

We followed the footsteps to the beginning of a bandit camp. Only there weren't any bandits anywhere. Their tents were smashed, fire was put out all of a sudden, and we found a dismembered body. We put our weapons away since we had no one to fight.

"There was something that got rid of everyone. A bear maybe?" Alistair wondered, looking at the camp.

"Bears are giant creatures and would have left their mark on the ground but there are no such marks." Sten said.

"But there are marks on the ground." Leliana hummed. I did see something glint on a tree. Curiosity killed the cat. I got closer to it and realized what I was seeing. Then I heard a hissing noise and looked up. I fucking screamed. That alerted the others as well as dropping more giant spiders around us. I backed up into a tree, still screaming my head off.

I was breathing erratically. I felt faint and dizzy. One spider noticed my distressed and scurried closer to me. I couldn't stop screaming and my throat was starting to seriously hurt me. Sten came up and squished its abdomen with his sword and guts went everywhere. It took everything I had not to faint. Then I saw fireballs and lightning shot in the battle and all the spiders were dead on the ground. Eren came over and helped me up. My knees were weak and I felt like vomiting. Eren rubbed his face.

"We really need to work on your fear of spiders." Eren said.

"I can't help it!" I shouted, my voice hoarse. "I just…ugh! I hate spiders…" I moaned.

"Missy we're going to fight more spiders, you're going to have to get used to them." Derek said. I moaned and shook my head.

"Morrigan, I'm going to need you for mental training." Eren said to her as she focused on a cup of jewels around the camp.

"What?!" We both shouted.

"You heard me. Think of it as strength training." Eren smirked.

"Why do I have to train a frightened child with an ability that is so rare that most cannot even learn it? Tis foolish." Morrigan huffed.

"Because 'this,'" He waved to all of me. "Is not what we want in a battle. She will only hinder us." Eren explained.

"Wow, thank you so much for that confidence boost." I deadpanned.

"On the next camp, I will oversee your training." Eren said. I moaned and hit my head on the trunk of the tree.

We scanned through the camp and found weapons, valuables, and coin. We trade what we found with Levi and Bodahn for coin. Morrigan seemed to keep most of her jewelry. At least this gave us some good bartering items. Sten found a small painting he seemed to take a great measure of interest in. Wynne found some alchemical ingredients for stronger potions. Alistair found a better sword and Talen some enchanted runes that we could use. Zevran found another leather suit of armor that had leggings and preferred to change out of his own outfit for a warmer experience. Derek didn't want anything besides a rare bottle of alcohol we found.

After clearing what we could from the camp, we left what we couldn't carry and got back on the road. I was left out of the scouting party and back in the wagon with Wynne who forced me to drink some elfroot tea. It tasted differently from a potion. Instead of tasting like honey and grass, it tasted slightly like sourgrass with a hint of mint.

"That should ease your throat for now. I recommend not speaking for a few days though to calm it. You really did cause some tearing." Wynne said.

"Why are you so afraid of spiders anyway? I get that they're creepy but the way you acted, it was like it nearly killed you one time." Talen wondered.

"There have been events were giant spiders have strayed into human civilization but most tend to stay in deep ruins or the deep roads where the fade is weaker than usual." Morrigan mentioned while keeping an eye on her grimoire. All the mages were in the wagon. Funny.

"It was a childhood fear. I found a huge one when I was going to the bathroom." I explained.

"At your weakest." Talen nodded.

"Then as I was taking a bath, it was on my scrubby and it crawled up my arm." I went further into detail.

"And so the fear has stayed on your soul. Now I have the pleasure of training you past it." Morrigan said sarcastically.

"It's not something I'm looking forward to either." I said, drinking the last of my elfroot tea. We continued traveling well into the night and Leliana managed to snag two hares for our dinner. I didn't help prepare it though. Instead, Eren took Morrigan and I into a clearing near the camp.

"In order to avoid what happened earlier in the future, I will force you to move beyond your fear." Eren said.

"But why before dinner?" I said. I was hungry.

"So you don't vomit." Eren stated. He had a point. Morrigan scoffed as he stared at her and her body shined and formed into a giant spider. Adrenaline surged through my body, automatically making me go into flight mode. Eren stood behind me and grabbed me in place.

"Hey!" I struggled.

"You won't get any better unless you do this." Eren had me in an iron grip as spider Morrigan came ever closer, hissing, her mouth moving, those disgusting appendages moving ever closer and those fucking eyes!

"No! I can't do this! Let me go please!" I pleaded and thrashed. Eren would not let me go and Morrigan was only a few feet away now. "No! NO!" I made myself dead weight which surprised Eren. He let me go. I grabbed his arm and nearly threw him on top of Morrigan. She narrowly avoided and skittered toward me.

Fight or flight. I actually fought. I took out my daggers, threw one, and landed a punch right on top of the head of Morrigan. She immediately shapeshifted back and winced in pain, grabbing her head.

"Holy Jesus Christ, I am so sorry." I squeaked out, reaching for her. Morrigan slapped my hand away, grabbed her staff, and struck Eren in the chest. He landed and breathed for air.

"Now you see how idiotic this is!?" Morrigan scoffed and went back to camp.

"Not…exactly the…way I thought you would react but…better than screaming your head off." Eren laughed. I looked down at him on the ground as I became angry. "Please don't hurt me." Eren stood up. I tripped him and he groaned in pain.

"I hate you." I growled, going back to camp and sitting down to finally eat.

"So…how did-" Derek started.

"One more word and I swear I will chop off that beard." I glared.

"I'm guessing not too well." Alistair laughed.

"Do not worry! You can always come into my tent and I will-" Zevran said.

"Up yours Zevran."

9:30 Guardian 3rd

Not much happened today. We didn't run into bandits, spiders, or darkspawn. We did find a few more caravans traveling though. They were fleeing to the Bannorn and some were going farther to Amaranthine or Highever to catch a boat to the Free Marches.

It hurt to see their despair stricken faces. We made sure to keep the Grey Wardens in the wagon though. People would go through desperate measures to keep themselves safe. We couldn't afford them getting recognized in the crowd.

Eventually our paths forked but we did end up traveling with a few travelers. Most kept to themselves. I saw a few kids with their parents. It tore me apart. Trying to even think about my kids in the same scenario…It was hard.

Leliana, Wynne, and I were walking this time. Wynne made sure to use her staff as a walking stick. We can't have a panic of mages around us. It was tense traveling with everyone in more ways than one. Leliana was humming under her breath. Wynne was going over our healing supplies. I sighed, wanting to be free of the travelers.

"Are you going to fight the darkspawn?" A young girl came up to me. Her mother quickly gathered her. It made me wonder about my own daughter. Does she look like me more now that she was older? How big has she grown? How does she get along with her brother? I wish I could fade dream again to see them.

"I wonder how they would react if they knew." Wynne wondered.

"Not good if they believe what Loghain has been spreading." I replied.

"Perhaps but sometimes you must have faith in others." Leliana mentioned.

9:30 Guardian 4th

Since we didn't rest nearly as much as the others, we plowed ahead. We rested at a riverbank and allowed Derek to take care of Bodahn's mule and horse. Eren had me and Morrigan in a separate clearing yet again. Morrigan and I weren't happy at all.

"Why are we doing this again?" Morrigan huffed.

"I get there is a therapy where they make you get used to things by constantly making you see it, but this is way too much." I commented.

"Until you are able to fight against your fear, then we'll stop." Eren said.

"And if she deals a fatal blow?" Morrigan asked.

"I need her to fight back not kill." Eren mentioned.

"Ugh." I moaned.

"This is trivial!" Morrigan huffed.

"By my orders-" Eren started.

"You do not order me. Order her as much as you want but I follow no one." Morrigan stalked off. "Tame a spider if you have to but I will not play these silly games." Eren groaned and rubbed his face.

"You probably want to apologize to her." I said.

"If something like that happens again-" Eren started.

"And it will happen. Again and again and again. There are a lot of giant spiders out there but this is only causing me to have nightmares and making Morrigan mad. If anything goes wrong, then it's on me. Stop trying to force us into something that will only make the team dynamic worse." I sighed, going back to the camp. Eren took my advice and followed Morrigan instead which was the good thing. I'm not sure what he told her but she was in a slightly better mood when we started to travel again.

9:30 Guardian 5th

Mountain trails suck.

My legs are killing me.

We had to go up a steep mountain path which didn't even lead to Soldier's Peak. It would only lead us to the cave system that then would lead us into Soldier's Peak. I was fine walking for the most part but going up a mountain? Late into the afternoon, I was ready to plop on the ground and wait for death. And because of the steep hill, no one was allowed on either the cart or wagon. We all went ahead as a group.

"Ugh, why must Ferelden be a mountainous country? It would better if you had plains filled with long grasses and flowers as far as the eye can see." Zevran explained wistfully.

"You sound homesick." Leliana chuckled.

"Yes Antiva was a beautiful gem and the gem that shined most bright was Antiva City." Zevran sighed.

"How do you think I feel with all this steep hill nonsense? The most I did was go through caves or stairs, nothing like this." Derek grunted.

"I feel so bad for you in all that armor." I chuckled.

"Fuh, strength training missy! Strength training! Ain't that right big guy!?" Derek chortled. Sten huffed.

"I have heard of Qunari's well-toned physique. Is there any way I can help you relieve you of those tensions you carry?" Morrigan flirted.

"There is no need." Sten stated.

"You sure you want to even think about that? I'm pretty sure he'll crush you." Talen chuckled.

"Talen…" Wynne gave her warning tone.

"Oh please, I do not need that image in my head." Alistair fake gagged.

"You are just displeased because I do not even consider you a man." Morrigan chuckled.

"Savage." I stated.

"They are two adults. What they do in their own tent, is their own business." Eren shrugged his shoulders.

"But this is Morrigan we're talking about." Alistair whispered.

"I can hear you quite clearly you dunce." Morrigan scoffed.

"You should not antagonize her Alistair or what she prefers to do in the night." Wynne added to that last part.

"Apply burn heal to burn spot." I mumbled.

"What are you talking about?" Zevran wondered.

"Oh sorry that's just what you say back in my world when someone does a really good insult comeback." I explained.

"At least someone here is content with the way I am." Morrigan huffed with pride.

"I try to find the good in everyone." I shrugged.

"You're telling me you see actual good in Morrigan?" Alistair asked. I looked at her and she gave me a mild sneer.

"Yep."

9:30 Guardian 6th

We found the cave system but it was already getting dark by the time we found it. Levi was busy going over his map, mumbling to himself and fixing some of the paths too. We were all nestled in the forest, eating a few nugs that seemed to find their way outside from the cave system. Derek was the one that killed them and brought them to us. Leliana was so horrified she refused to eat it. She instead focused on her rations.

"It's feet are so weird." I said, poking at the roasted nug over the fire with a stick. They almost looked like human hands.

"Pickled nug feet was a delicacy back in Dust Town. Delicious." Derek laughed.

"That's disgusting." Talen's face scrunched up.

"Don't knock it until you try it priss." Derek laughed.

"I've never had pickled feet but I did eat pig feet with my hominy soup back home. So tender." I slightly drooled.

"Pig feet?" Talen looked at me horrified.

"And cow tongue! Oh so delicious and we also took the skin off the pig and fried it to make chicharrones. Oh they were the best with the meat still on it." I explained.

"You're a woman after my own heart missy." Derek laughed.

"Why do you look so horrified Talen? I'm pretty sure you'll have to get used to the things we hunt." Alistair described.

"I…I think piglets are cute." Talen blushed.

"That is so cute." Leliana giggled.

"I'm not cute." Talen huffed and looked away, crossing his arms.

"Give it a few more years and you'll look manlier. As much as an elf can at least." Eren chuckled.

"Now, now, give the teasing a rest." Wynne chuckled.

"You know I do have a dish that resembles what you've described." Zevran said, sitting next to me after he went off to take care of his business.

"Really?" I wondered.

"Pozole no?" Zevran said. I gasped.

"Oh my God, you do have it!" I giggled.

"It is a very popular dish back in Antiva. The kernels can be dried and be used later in the wintertime." Zevran explained.

"Oh I would kill for some pozole with some chile and limon." I sighed.

I missed the food from back home. I missed my husband's food. Don't look at me, I cooked for a living. I only cooked soup back home. Challenging marital stereotypes for the win. We had some talk about food before the roasting was done. Bodahn and Derek worked with some of the meat and started to smoke it away from the group so we would have some meat rations. Got to give it to Bodahn, having a merchant around with salt was pretty nifty.

Hopefully we can clear Soldier's Peak without much fuss and get back to our own journey. It shouldn't be too hard to clear it. Just some undead, a very long living mage, and Sophia Dryden's corpse walking around. All in all, with our mini army, I had a good feeling about this.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku**

 **I'm so sorry I uploaded a day late guys! Work is starting to get hectic now that we're in the fall months. Oct-Dec are some of our busiest months so I'm pulling a few 10 hour shifts which leave me exhausted that I fall asleep very quickly. But I was able to at least get this through! Anyway so we are finally getting into Soldier's Peak! Those of you who remember the first one, it's not going to be good. Those who are new, get ready to get your mind blown!**

 **Thank you whitewolf25276 for following! Thank you Chimera Spyke and Guest for reviewing! Please Review!**


	54. Soldier's Peak

9:30 Guardian ?

Bodahn stayed behind at the cave's entrance with the horse, wagon, and cart. Everyone else continued through the passage of tunnels. They had make shift torches and Levi was using an extremely worn map to lead them through. Nia was fidgety. She didn't like caves specifically because they could house spiders. After what she had went through with Morrigan, she'd been having nightmares every night. Wynne and Leliana weren't that happy with the tossing and turning.

"You are afraid." Sten stated as they went through another tunnel.

"Yes. That I will admit." Nia flinched as she heard a tumble of rocks. She inched closer to Sten through instinct even when he moved away.

"This is merely a carved out tunnel of earth. There is nothing down here." Sten explained.

"Not to be the one to burst anyone's bubble but this is exactly where giant spiders would be." Alistair chuckled.

"I will stab you through your crotch if you keep speaking of them." Nia threatened. Alistair did a small eep while Zevran laughed.

"If you are so afraid then you can always hang off my arm. I shall protect you with my entire body and soul." Zevran said. For once, Nia took his offer and grabbed his arm full heartedly. She hugged it close to her, keeping an eye in the shadows. "Ah…"

"You have no idea what to do now that she's done it, do you?" Leliana giggled. Zevran tried not to look sheepish.

"I will use you as a meat shield if it comes down to it." Nia said seriously.

"Oh please there is nothing around to show that life has been settled here." Morrigan explained.

"You never know. Aren't there things in the Deep Roads that only exist there?" Talen asked.

"You're talking about Deepstalkers priss but they don't usually come out to tunnels like these. They only keep to the Deep Roads or caves that connect to the Deep Roads." Derek explained.

"I would rather you not talk about what can kill us while I'm leading you all to Soldier's Peak." Levi said.

"It feels like we're going in circles actually." Alistair mumbled.

"Let's give him a few minutes of silence so he can get his bearings." Eren said. Levi was able to find the correct path. Nia kept jumping at shadows and mild noises, not like Zevran wasn't enjoying it. He would have enjoyed it more if she wasn't wearing so much armor. It would have been nice to feel something.

At last, they saw daylight at the end of the tunnel. The breeze came in as a chill cold and made all of them shiver as they crossed through. Morrigan slipped from the draft and Eren caught her by her arm. He held on tight and gave her the support needed to walk through the cave. Morrigan scoffed but couldn't deny she liked the attention.

Alistair helped Wynne through while Sten and Derek were trying to force through. Suddenly, the draft stopped and they reached the end of the tunnel. Light snowflakes fell and the ambiance stopped. It became deathly quiet.

"And there she is. Soldier's Peak. Very impressive isn't she?" Levi broke the silence.

"You got lost a few times didn't you?" Talen chuckled.

"I didn't get lost. The map got soggy from the snow from earlier. It's not important. Let's keep going." Levi scoffed and went ahead. Derek whistled as they saw the image from the grand fortress, a few hundred years strong.

"I can only imagine how this would have looked when this was full of life. If we got this fortress back up, I might even work on this. Give it the old dwarven spit shine. Ha!" Derek laughed at his joke.

"This is the reason why your order is looked with respect. The fact that it has been left to the elements speaks much for the Wardens." Sten stated.

"I get the feeling that there's an insult in there." Talen mumbled.

"This is how far the Grey Wardens have deteriorated. They even accept people like you." Morrigan side glanced at Alistair.

"Hey." He moaned. Nia, Leliana, and Wynne were marveling at the formidable fortress.

"And here we are." Levi breathed out. The group were each giving their own reactions. Alistair, Talen, Derek, Nia, Leliana, and Wynne were all looking up, amazed. Derek, Sten, and Eren were thinking about fortifying in case it could be used later. Morrigan and Zevran both didn't care and wanted to get out of the cold. Alfred was a dog. He waged his tail.

As soon as Levi took a step beyond the front gate, a green pulse rocked the group. Soon they began to see people walking through the courtyard. Soldiers of all kinds were setting up in front of the castle.

"Fall back! Fall back already!" A soldier shouted.

"Taking the peak will not be easy, m'lord." One grunt said to another who had extremely fine armor.

"I gave the Wardens one chance to die with honor. Instead they decided to hole themselves up in the tower like cowards! We will starve them out." He directed.

"But m'lord! The keep has months of supplies!" The soldier cried out.

"Then they'll be too weak once they fight back. This is my final judgement." The voice started to fade out and, soon enough, the image dissipated. It was the empty courtyard again. Nia rubbed her eyes. 'So that's how it feels like when you watch a fade vision.' She thought.

"Maker's breath!"

"By the Ancestors!"

"Vashedan!"

"I can do this too. Andraste's flaming bosom." Zevran chuckled.

"It's sword." Wynne facepalmed.

"What was that? You all saw that too? I swear if you didn't, I am not out of my mind." Levi breathed out.

"This was a vision of the past. I've heard stories such as this. They never ended well. The princess never woke up from her dream." Leliana commented.

"No this wasn't a waking dream. This is a fade tear or something like it. Something really bad happened here. It's making my magic feel itchy." Talen shivered.

"Your analysis is correct. The veil is extremely thin in many areas. I would not be surprised if we encountered demons." Morrigan added.

"Visions, dreams, fade, and demons? Maker this place must be haunted! Good thing you are here Wardens." Levi breathed out.

"It would be best if you stuck yourself right behind us. There's no telling what will happen once we start exploring." Eren suggested.

"Good idea." Levi nodded and went behind everyone. They entered the wide courtyard. There seemed to be remnants of other entrances, a stable house whose wood entered into permafrost, and a forge that needed to be cleaned in order for it to be used again. Nia wandered toward the forge, finding a hammer that was sticking out of the snow. The hammer head crashed into the ground, the wooden handle broken.

"Damn. It's pristine almost. I mean, everything is mostly standing. It's been hundreds of years and not a scratch on the concrete." Nia breathed out.

"Dwarves probably helped with the construction. We build things to last." Derek chuckled. Nia nodded and put down the broken handle to follow the rest near the entrance stairs. Suddenly she heard a hiss and something grabbed her leg, forcing her down. Nia grunted as she hit the snow and more hands popped out.

"Ah!" She cried out as more bodies started popping out of the snow, like daisies! Nia kicked off the first hand and got up, holding her daggers. They were surrounded by skeletons in armor with weapons. They hissed as they scrambled toward them.

Nia was surrounded by three skeletons. She dodged a sword strike from one and tackled another who held to a bow. She pulled back her arm and smashed its skull. The skeleton rattled down until all the bones were scattered. The skeleton hissed before it got bit by a large mabari.

"Thanks Alfred!" Nia said before kicked another skeleton in the ribcage. It recoiled into a well. Nia pushed it back in and she heard a loud thump coming from it. She narrowly avoided another arrow. She saw the others spread out in the courtyard.

Talen and Wynne were both on the protective edge, summoning barriers to those that needed it and keeping an eye on Levi. Derek and Sten were wading through the skeletons with ease while Alistair and Eren were both defending the mages. Morrigan was flinging electric spells but those didn't work. She scoffed until a fireball killed four at once.

"Fire. Always fire." Talen smirked.

Zevran was going around, using the snow to his advantage to easily deal backstabs. Only to find that his assassin skills aren't that useful against those without flesh. His dagger was caught in the ribcage of a skeleton that turned its head 180 degrees to stare at him with its unholy eyes. "Braska." Zevran cursed under his breath as he left his dagger inside the skeleton to avoid its next strike.

Nia came in and shoulder tackled the skeleton to the ground. She hammer kicked its skull and retrieved his dagger. She held the hilt out to Zevran who gave her a smirk and wink. She replied with rolling her eyes. Derek did the last skull smash and they were now surrounded by truly dead skeletons.

"This won't be the last of them. If the veil is as thin as Morrigan says, then we're going to find more undead." Talen breathed out.

"That or they will simply try to resurrect what we just killed." Morrigan explained.

"We'll take that chance. Let's go." Eren said. They walked up the stairs to the double doors that would lead them inside. The doors were stuck in place and Sten had to use his great sword to break through. Derek gave it one final smash and they went through. They encountered what looked to be a foyer. Sharp wooden barricades were still pushed up by sacks of dirt. There was a scuffle involved. Another pulse went through and visions of people began playing out.

"The men's morale is low. My spells are no use in this matter Commander." A bald male human mage spoke to a barely visible visage of Sophia Dryden.

"Is that…?" Levi whispered.

"There is more to leading men than sorcery Avernus. I will remind them they are wardens." Sophia explained. She walked into the middle of the room with ghosts of Grey Wardens surrounding her. "Men, I won't lie to you. The situation is grim. Our forces are outnumbered, our bellies are empty, and our hearts are sagging. But we are Wardens!" There was a shout of approval as more ghosts seemed to come out of the walls to hear her speech. "Darkspawn flee when they hear our horns. Archdemons die when they taste our blades! So are we to bend knee to a mere human despot? No!"

They cheered the more she spoke. No wonder she was able to rise in the Grey Warden ranks. Levi was entranced the more his ancestor spoke. Even he cheered for her with the group looking in amusement. Levi cleared his throat as the vision stopped and the way was clear.

"Sorry about that. Just, this is the first time I'm witnessing something that wasn't just hearsay or rumors." Levi chuckled nervously.

"It's always good to know where you come from. It seems your ancestor was built of hardy stuff. Now, let's keep going before my beard freezes over." Derek chuckled.

"As if that were possible." Talen mumbled. Nia shook her head at their antics. She saw the poster that had all the Grey Wardens names on it. She did a small prayer before following everyone into the next room.

As soon as Eren opened it, an Arcane Horror rose up followed by two rage demons. Their resulting surprise forced them to go back into the foyer. Derek closed the door only for it to be burned down by the two rage demons. Wynne quickly let out a small area cone of cold and froze the second one but the first one continued.

Morrigan summoned a wall of ice and shattered it on the rage demon. It gave out a guttural growl being being impaled by Eren's sword follows by a mighty swing from Sten. It dissipated.

The second one was struck by both Alistair and Derek, shattering it. Unfortunately, the way was now free for the Arcane Horror. It teleported inside the room, gathering its spirit energy around it. It pulled the group toward it and Sten threw Levi back inside the next room where it was safer. The Arcane horror released its energy causing shallow wounds to everyone. As Eren prepared his first swing, the Arcane Horror dodged and teleported to another part of the room.

It brought its long claws together and released a tri beam attack. It hit Sten, causing long gashes on his armor to appear. Alistair was able to use his shield to divert the attack away. Wynne pulled up a barrier while Talen and Morrigan were both hitting it with flame and lightning spells respectively. It moved again to swipe at Zevran and Nia who both hit the ground to escape its claws. Alfred jumped up and hung onto an arm, only for the Horror to whip him off right into the mages.

Leliana sent arrow after arrow, allowing the others to recover. The Horror growled as the arrows pierced through its undead body. It was the melee fighters that were suffering from its constant moving around. The Arcane Horror flinched back as Talen launched a large fireball at it and Wynne finished tracing the ground with remote magic, a paralysis glyph. The Arcane horror stepped in it and was caught in the clutches of Wynne's magic.

"Now!" Wynne shouted. All the melee fighters jumped on the Arcane Horror. It didn't bleed per say but its body was scored with various cuts and stabs. The paralysis wore off and Alfred dragged it on the ground with it weakened. Sten did the final blow and severed the head from the body. The horror disintegrated into ash besides the cold heart of it. Talen did a scoff of surprise while tapping the heart with the staff.

"Everything else disappeared, why didn't this?" Talen asked.

"Revenant hearts are used in rune making though that is as much as I know on that subject." Wynne explained.

"We might as well pocket it for Sandal later then." Eren grunted in pain as he moved to the next room. Levi looked at them in distress, obviously scared.

"The demons are dead." Nia said reassuringly. Wynne and Talen did their best to heal minor wounds. They couldn't focus all their magic on healing now that they knew there was going to be resistance. They had to keep their mana in check in case they run into something stronger. They continued and Alistair opened another door only to be met with skeletons. He closed the door and backed off when the arrows penetrated through the wooden door.

"You had to find more skeletons." Morrigan stated.

"Don't look at me Ms. 'Oh the fade is weak here and demons are sprawling everywhere.'" Alistair countered.

"Maker…" Talen rolled his eyes. "Move." Alistair did so and Talen gathered his magic in his hands. "Open the door when I tell you to." Alistair had his hand on the doorknob as the fireball in Talen's hand grew larger. "Now!" Alistair opened the door where the skeletons already climbed down from where they were, already to the door. Talen blasted them into charred remains.

"Not bad." Nia nodded.

"The charring seems a bit much." Zevran commented.

"Talen you shouldn't waste your mana like that." Wynne shook her head.

"Hey if the priss wants to knock heads with skeletons, let him." Derek chuckled. Talen smirked and Wynne scoffed.

Eren opened another room and three more rage demons were lying in wait. Sten, Derek, Alistair, and Eren all pushed to the front. Alistair and Eren both diverted the flame attacks of the rage demons while Sten and Derek pushed from the sides. Morrigan flashed freezed them with a successful glyph of cold. Two shield bashes later, they had pieces of the rage demons scattered throughout the room.

"Oooh hot!" Alistair waved his shield.

"At least we were able to protect the others." Eren said, nearly tripping on a book.

"Look at all the books." Nia said as she ran her hand through the spines of them, gathering dust on her fingertips.

"Most of these pages have been eaten through or destroyed by mold. How sad, I would have loved to have read through them." Leliana commented.

"What's this one on the floor? It looks kinda glowy." Alistair remarked.

"Of course, touch the glowing book and perhaps we will be greeted by even more demons." Morrigan rolled her eyes.

"It has ambient magic working on it. May I?" Wynne asked. Alistair allowed her and Wynne touched it. She noticed that most of the pages were burnt and then another green pulse overtook the room. They were met with a vision of a mage writing down furiously on the same book she touched. Another mage was behind him, holding the door with a small barricade.

"This door won't hold Archivist." The young female mage said.

"I am almost done…the truth must be told." The Archivist said.

"Why does it matter? We'll be dead soon enough." The female mage scoffed.

"Our grand rebellion…we were so close! And to die here a stillbirth." The Archivist sighed deeply.

"We never should have done it in the first place. Wardens are supposed to be neutral, not oppose kings and princes." The female mage walked closer to him with a worried look. The Archivist stopped writing and looked at her.

"Should we stand idly by while-" The door opened and they heard the last screams before the vision shined and disappeared. Levi walked forward to the book and scoffed.

"Another vision and what's this thing about a rebellion?" Levi wondered outloud. "If only the book weren't burned." Levi sighed.

"Wardens fighting against kings and princes? They're not supposed to that right?" Talen asked.

"Grey Wardens only have darkspawn as their enemy. We aren't the ones to come in to people's problems and help them. In fact, it's against the rules." Alistair furrowed his brows.

"So if there was a town being attack by undead and Grey Wardens are near it, they're not supposed to help?" Nia asked with a twinkle in her eye.

"Unfortunately no, not unless darkspawn starts appearing." Alistair explained.

"But even then, Wardens are heroes! They can't just let injustices slip by." Levi argued.

"We won't find anything here. Let's press on. Perhaps there are other records deeper into the fortress." Eren said.

"We can only hope." Levi sighed. The group gathered together to head to the upper floor.

'If it's any consolation Archivist, I do remember what truly happened.' Nia thought before following the others.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku**

 **Woo! Early update! I know, you're probably wondering like 'What a minute, what happened to the POV?' In clarification, these are memories that Nia CANNOT remember and that's why it's switche. Why? You'll find that out next chapter. Of course, most of you already know what's going to happen in the next chapter :3**

 **Thank you TheBandleMan for following! Thank you Chimera Spyke and Syutaku for reviewing!**

 **Guest:** _The difference between Lives and Start is that Days of Our Start is like an extended version of Lives. After encountering a huge plothole in Days of Our Past, I realized that I needed to go back and fix this. After reading my first story I knew that I had glossed too many things. I had to explain more than what I was able to. Days of Our Lives wasn't supposed to go further than Origins in the first place. I wasn't going to write more than that until Inquisition came out. Because of that, there are a lot of ideas, holes, and other things that I never went into further explanation of. Instead of going back and adding things to my original story, I decided to write another one so I can further expand on it. Think of Days of Our Lives the rough draft of Days of Our Start. Of course there are also going to be several differences from here on out and I see Days of Our Start as the true starting point and Days of Our Past will eventually reflect that. I hope that answers your question! :3_

 **PLEASE REVIEW! :D**


	55. Death of the Heart

9:30 Guardian ?

Wisps were the first time the mages noticed as they went into the upper levels. Small wisps with no thought of their own were floating freely in the air. Wynne and Talen looked at each other with worry. Morrigan took a deep breath and steadied her staff.

"We are entering a place where the veil is extremely thin. We must be on our guard." Morrigan warned. Everyone got the message and got their weapons out. They climbed the stairs and were in a spacious room that seemed to glow everywhere. In a corner of the room, there were glyphs traced on the ground. The air surrounding it seemed to crackle with energy. The slight green shine was extremely worrying.

"This feels like a fade rift." Talen whispered before the glyphs glowed and the center crackled green. Soon it pulsated and out came four undead and a tall Abomination roared at the group. Levi ran over where the stairs were and everyone got into formation. It unfortunately didn't work as the demon plowed through the group, causing them to scatter in different directions. Sten grappled with the monster which lifted the 7ft tall giant and threw him against the wall.

Alistair and Eren tried smashing it in between their shields but the behemoth grabbed their shields and tossed them as well. It ran toward the mages and Leliana until it got smashed by Derek. The arm was dangling until a sick green glow seemed to surround the unholy creature. The arm had healed.

"How is this even possible?" Derek wondered before the Abomination tackled him away. Zevran wasn't sure how to attack something that was pure muscle when Nia grabbed his shoulder.

"He's being healed by those glyphs. Let's kill the undead first and focus on that thing later." Nia said. She did a whistle and Alfred tackled one of the undead. Zevran followed her lead and took down another one. Nia did it to a third.

As they were attacking the undead, Alistair, Eren, Sten, and Derek were all doing hit and run tactics to confuse the large demon. Leliana was focusing on vital points on the body but even her arrows seemed like pins to the monster. Morrigan and Wynne let out cold and lightning attacks but none seemed to wear it down. The fade beast didn't know who to attack while the mages and Leliana had to keep on their toes and move so the enemy wouldn't focus on them. Talen unleashed a few flame glyphs on the ground and they exploded as soon as the giant walked on it. That was the wrong call because it only made the brute focus on Talen and only on him.

It reared back and went down on all fours, launching itself towards him. Talen narrowly avoided his first tackle but the Abomination punched into the floor, redirected its body, and flung itself toward Talen. It hit Talen's abdomen and flung him into a worn bookshelf. Talen gasped as his back hit the bookshelf, the air knocked out of his lungs before the pain rocked him as the bookshelf toppled over him. He let out a grunt of rage before succumbing to the pain.

"Talen's down!" Eren shouted as he put up his shield in time, blocking the demon's powerful arm. Leliana looked at Talen's body and got closer to the large fade creature, shooting arrow after arrow. Sten pushed his greatsword through the creature and heard the first grunt of pain. He wondered why only now it felt pain than before and looked over to the glyphs. Two undead were on the ground while the other two were still fighting Nia, Zevran, and Alfred. The savage fade creature reared back, pushing itself into Sten until they hit the wall. Sten's armor bucked inward and he felt the coppery taste of blood in his mouth before the thing took itself off the sword and headbutted Sten, bringing him down as well. Leliana miscalculated her distance when the brute focused on her after Sten. She grabbed her waist dagger and narrowly avoided a tackle only for the it to grab her by the back of her neck and knocking her face first into the floor.

"This thing won't die!" Derek growled as he swung to get the beast away from Leliana.

"It will soon! We just need to get these undead! The glyphs are powering it and healing it!" Nia shouted as she stabbed the undead in the chest.

"Keep at it then!" Eren shouted. Alistair and him smashed their shields into the creature. It growled and grabbed Alistair by the hair. Derek went to smash it only to have Alistair thrown at him. Morrigan put her all into transforming into wasps and attacked the thing. It thrashed around, trying to swat Morrigan away. Wynne had formed another paralysis glyph on the ground, hoping to catch the it as she did with the Horror last time. Morrigan led it to it and flew away at the last second. As it stepped into it, Zevran killed the last undead.

But it didn't work. The behemoth roared and the glyph disappeared. Wynne gasped as it broke through her magic. The monster rushed at her, grabbing Wynne by the throat. Alistair did a battle cry and stabbed his longsword at the demon's back. It threw Wynne away and crushed its elbow on top of Alistair's head. He crumbled to the floor, sword clanging next to him. Morrigan flew into the Abomination again as Eren got his weapons ready. Alfred nipped at the brute's feet while Zevran used a flurry of backstabs to weaken the it. Derek went and smashed his hammer into the side of the thing.

The savage roared in pain but it would not die. It grabbed Eren's shield and forced it from it. It bashed Zevran on his head, knocking him down to the ground. Zevran felt the warm flow of blood and noted the spinning room before passing out. Morrigan had to reform or else she would run out of mana. As soon as she did, the beast threw the shield into her, lacerating a part of her stomach. Morrigan gave out a cry of pain as she reached for the potions in her pack. She drank one and smeared a poultice over her stomach. It stopped bleeding but the blood she did lose caused her to get dizzy. She crawled to the wall, knowing that she couldn't fight anymore. Derek gave out a battle cry as the demon grabbed his hammer and they were locked in a battle of strength.

Nia couldn't move. Nearly everyone in the group was knocked unconscious or couldn't fight. She was stuck in place, watching her friends slowly get beat by this monstrosity. She had hoped that once they killed the undead, that the monster would go down. Things in reality did not reflect the games. Alfred came up to her and barked loudly, snapping Nia out of her reverie. She pushed down her fear and brandished her weapons.

The Abomination cried out in pain as Derek wrestled his hammer away from it and bashed it against the ribs of the monster. It swiped and cut into the eye of Derek. He screamed in pain as the fade creature pushed him away. Nia could tell that the thing was on its last legs. Eren only had his sword, Nia had her daggers, and Alfred stood with them. They all rushed it with Eren and Alfred giving focus on the front and Nia stabbing and punching on the back.

The beast sent out small attacks but none of its rushing from earlier. Alfred ripped a part of its lower leg while Eren was trying to get a closer kill hit. None of them realized that the energy from the still open portal resuscitated the undead again. They crawled toward the glyphs, one for each one…

It pulsed a sick green glow and it gave an eerie laugh. It grabbed Eren's head in its hands and tried to crush it. The other members stirred from where they were as Eren screamed in agony. He did a final awkward slash upward, severing an arm but losing his sword. The creature raged and Alfred took down an undead from a glyph.

It hovered over Eren and Nia launched herself at it. She did a wide gash on its back. The brute howled, turned around, and slashed at Nia. Her chestplate was destroyed as its claws tore at it. Nia crouched low and began evading. Alfred got rid of another Undead, two more to go. Nia escaped barely with small wounds but the demon only had its focus on her. She hastily took off her chestplate as it was only dragging her down. She rolled on her heels and was behind the behemoth again. She stabbed both of her daggers deep into it. It reared back and thrashed like a wild bull causing her to lose her grip.

The other members started to stir as the fight raged on. Eren clutched his head as he saw the savage throw Nia to the other side of the room. She rolled before getting up. Eren saw his family sword and started to crawl toward it.

One more undead.

Sten got back up, spitting out blood, and having a dizzy spell. But he got up and fumbled for his sword. Nia ran back to get her daggers as she saw it hover its hand over Eren. She gasped and willed herself to go faster. The monster kicked Eren and laid its foot across his chest. Eren gasped as the beast pressed down. Nia grabbed her daggers from its back, tore them off and kept on stabbing. The Abomination roared in pain.

No more undead left.

It seemed to sense its predicament. It looked menacingly at Eren and it slowly inched its way closer. Nia stood between it and Eren. She raised her daggers and decided to rush it. The demon had enough. It brought its hand up and focused all the energy to its claws. Nia slashed at it, hoping to look for a weak point. The giant reared its hand and aimed for the place where Nia didn't have any protection.

Her chest.

Time stood still for Eren as his face was splashed with warm blood. The claw of the creature was sticking out of Nia's back. His eyes widened as Nia's daggers fell to the floor. Nia brought her hand up to her chest. The demon smirked and threw her body toward the glyphs.

"NO!" Eren screamed, shaking away his dizziness, grabbing his sword and plunging it into the monster with Sten rending the head from its body. The demon turned to ashes and Eren ran toward Nia's body. He turned her over and she was barely breathing.

Her dark brown eyes looked at him in fear. She gasped and gurgled, tears flowing from her eyes. Eren had his hand over her wound and looked to the healers. They were both still out cold. Where was his potions? Could potions fix this?

She raised her hand up and Eren took it in his own. She gasped and Eren could see straight through her. It took all his willpower not to throw up.

"I…don…don't…want...t…" She gurgled and her hand grew limp.

"No…please Maker no." Eren sobbed as he drew Nia's body closer to him. Sten looked in sadness as he knows how it feels to lose a valued friend. Morrigan and Leliana both got up from where they were knocked out, woken up by Eren's loud sobs. "Why? Why must the Maker take everyone from me?" Eren growled.

"No…" Leliana shook her head as she walked closer. Alfred whined and howled in despair.

"Morrigan…can't you do anything?" Eren whimpered.

"I…am no healer and she is already…" Morrigan sighed and looked away. Eren's tears freely flowed, mixing with Nia's blood.

Another crackle came from the fade tear but Eren' didn't care. There was nothing left inside of him. Nothing more to grieve over. A ball of light came from the tear, a very large, extremely shiny ball of light. Morrigan, Leliana, and Sten all readied their weapons until the ball of light began to extend until it had a human shape.

After it stayed in its shape, the light began to dim. The ball of light transformed into a recognizable but very different person. Leliana gasped as the others brought down their weapons. Eren looked up only to see Nia and yet it wasn't her at the same time.

"Nia?" Eren wondered.

"No. I am not her. I am her failure." The spirit person looked sad. "There isn't much time. Your world holds on to your souls before they go from the beyond. I can save her."

"You are an unknown spirit, why should we trust you?" Morrigan glared.

"Do not talk to me child of Flemeth. This is not somewhere you can stand in." The spirit person shot back. Morrigan scoffed. "Place her body in the center of this altar and I will revive her."

"This is not a wise decision." Sten stated.

"I don't care." Eren said, carrying Nia's limp body in the center of the four glyphs. He closed her eyes and prayed. "Please save her." He looked to the fake Nia.

"I am truly sorry." It said as he knelt to Nia. It held its hands over Nia's chest wound and all four of them were blasted back as green and white energy came forth. Nia's body glowed while Morrigan gasped.

"He is harnessing the energy of the direct link of the fade to bring her back! The ambient energy is pouring into her!" Morrigan shouted.

"Is that bad?" Leliana asked.

"We shall see." Morrigan closed her eyes as the shine was too much. Sten had a firm grip on his greatsword, awaiting to see if this creature needed to die. Eren had his eyes closed as he prayed that Nia will come back.

In the long hours of the night, When hope has abandoned me, I will see the stars and know, Your light remains.

I opened my eyes and all I could see was white light. Weren't we outside? I thought we were going to go through the caves tomorrow. I did feel something underneath so I got up. I wondered where I was. There was white for as far as I can see.

"This is so weird. Where am I?" I said.

"Good, you have not crossed." I heard someone say behind me. I let out a small shriek as I saw that it was me and yet not me. It was hard to pick out the differences. For one thing, the clothes made sure to make it look like I was androgynous. My face was different too, well not my own face but the face of the other person.

"Who are you?" I asked. The person shined until it transformed into a ball of light. "Halo! Wait, Halo? Why are you here? Why are we here?" I asked. Halo looked down. "Halo?"

"You don't remember?" Halo wondered.

"Remember what?" I asked. Halo sighed.

"You were at Soldier's Peak. There was an incredibly strong demon there…You died." Halo explained. My heart sank to the floor. I let out a light chuckle.

"I died? I mean…no…It's…if I died, wouldn't I have gone through the fade or something like the first time? You, you would have stopped it right? Right? Halo?" I began to ramble. Halo didn't say anything. "No…No!"

"I can save you but at a cost." Halo said, motioning me to follow him.

"What do you mean at a cost?" I asked.

"I must expend my energy to bring your soul back to your body as well as tying it. It is a difficult process which will utilize nearly all my energy on you. You will not be able to go back home anytime soon." Halo described. The weight of his words hit me and it almost didn't seem real. "But for now, I can at least give you this one thing." We were met with a door. Halo motioned me to open it and I did.

It was my home. It was morning too. I looked at Halo and he nodded his head. My eyes widened and I gasped, running toward the bedroom. I held my hand over the door, my heartbeats booming in my ears. Was this a dream? Was this real? What will I find beyond this door? I didn't have to wonder as the door opened by itself.

There stood my husband Louis. The bags under his eyes grew. Although he still had a belly, he wasn't as fluffy as he used to be and there were more grey hairs peeking through his black hairs. He stood stock still and I couldn't control my tears.

"Puppy? Can you see me?" I whimpered.

He stood frozen then shakes his head. "Not this dream again. Spare me from this feels trip and wake me up now." He said solemnly. I hesitantly reach out and I could feel his body. He flinched when I did that and Halo floated behind me.

'This is no dream.' Halo replied.

Immediately his eyes welled up with tears. "Oh my god. OH SWEET YEVON!" He yanked my arm and embraced me and sobbed into my shoulder. "W-where were? How? Wha?! Kitty I missed you so much. Please tell me you are staying."

My heart wrenched when he said that. I couldn't help but start sobbing into his chest. We eventually couldn't keep standing and we both ended up sitting on the floor, crying into each other. That must have awakened the children.

"Papí what happened?" I heard a young boy's voice said. Louis looked back into the bedroom and I wanted to cry into the floor. My son had grown so big. He had my eyes but now his masculine features made him look more like his father. He was thin, wearing only a t shirt and his undies.

"Ace? Papas?" I wept.

Louis sucked up his emotions and laughed. "Papas it's Mamí! You remember Mamí right?" Ace looked from his dad to me. I gulped down my emotions and held out my arms for a hug.

"Papas?" I breathed out.

"Mamí!" Ace cried out happily and ran into my arms. I exhaled sharply, hugging my son close to me, running my hands through his short spiky hair.

"Let me get the Turkey!" Louis said, going into the next room.

"Mamí don't cry. No cry." Ace said soothingly.

"It's hard not to." I cleared my throat. I carried him into the living room, afraid to let him go. I sat on the couch and Ace sat next to me. He grabbed my arm and made me hug him. Louis came back with a young girl walking in front of him. Last time I saw Alice, she couldn't even stand on her own. Now here she was walking. She looked just like me but with crazy curly hair. She had on a pajama dress and stopped at the end of the hallway, looking at me.

"Alice! It's Mamí!" Ace cried out.

"Mamí!" She giggled and ran to me. She rubbed her head against me, making small content noises. She got up the sofa and sat to the left of me. My two babies were with me. Everything felt right. Louis stood with his phone and took a picture but frowned.

"What the hell? Why isn't it showing?" Louis wondered. Halo floated near him.

'It is only her soul. She has not come back.' Halo described. Louis looked at him with a glare.

"What do you mean she's not back. She's sitting right in front of me." Louis got heated. The kids looked nervous. Halo sighed.

'Come with me.' Halo said and they went back into the bedroom. Both kids got up and each got their own tablet, showing me all the videos and games they had there. Alice still had trouble speaking while Ace missed out on a few but could word his sentences. This was happiness in its true form. Eventually Halo and Louis came out from the room.

'I have explained your circumstance. You only have today. Enjoy it.' Halo said, floating inside my chest. Louis sniffled and wiped his eyes.

"Hungry?" He asked while clearing his throat.

"Starving." I breathed out. He went to the kitchen while the kids were glued to their tablets. He took out the bacon, bread, eggs, and cheese. He took out various ingredients that I recognized were for pancakes. I put a pan on the stove and turned it on.

"No kitty, let me do it." Louis said.

"I'd rather do it together." I said, trying my hardest not to cry. He nodded while wiping his eyes. I made the eggs while he focused on the bacon and mixing the pancake mix. Once the eggs were cooked, I separated them into four plates, no cheese on mine. He put the bacon on paper to soak up the grease while getting pancakes ready.

"Ah comer!" I said. The kids shouted happily as I put the plates of food down and they both sat in their chairs. I put one of their tablets up so they can watch it. I cleared the dining table and Louis came with two plates with bacon and eggs. He set up another plate with pancakes.

"So, besides the whole dying again thing, what's been happening?" Louis asked, taking his first bite.

"Oh man, this is going to take a while." I laughed.

I started telling my story from when I was dumped in the harbor of Denerim. He had trouble accepting that I landed in a video game. He did believe in the multiverse so I had that to go off of. I moved to Rael and how he saved me. Louis could see the sadness in my face but decided not to pry at that time. I explained that I saved Oren and got employed at the Couslands. I told him about the fighting and he remarked on my excellent body. "I bet your ass is so firm I can bounce quarters off it!" He roguishly grinned at me.

We flirted after that but then I got back on track. I told him about the extreme training, how Eren was a ginormous dick, and what eventually happened. I broke down when I told him that I killed a man. Ace even consoled me and told me it was ok. Louis took my hands into his and consoled me. "It was necessary to survive. You know how I feel about people in general. In your situation I would do the same. Don't worry my kitty, I don't see you any less of who you are." He kisses my hands.

"I probably killed a guy but I'm not sure since I walked away." He laughed. It made me laugh too.

I talked about the massacre and how I failed to save everyone, about how we fled to Denerim. I told him what I did for Rael and what he said to me after.

"He's a fucking asshole for doing that do you. Too bad I can't knock some sense into him." Louis scoffed.

We found Duncan and recruited Derek. We traveled to the Circle and found Talen. I had waited in Lothering for Eren. I convinced them that I should join them. I described how the darkspawn looked. How we moved to the Circle and that Halo was making me visit the fade periodically. The dreams, the state of the tower, finding out Eren's feelings. He wasn't too happy with that.

I told him I killed the pride demon. He patted me on the back and told me how proud he was. I told him about Zevran and he disliked how he was fond of me.

"I mean, I get it. You're really hot. You've always been my sexy kitty but you're MY sexy kitty. No one else's." He commented.

I told him about Flemeth and her cryptic warning. Then I remember what she said to me in the Korcari Wilds about a choice.

There comes a path, a choice, to stay or leave. If you can't make the choice, then it will be chosen for you.

Was this the path that Flemeth warned me of? Because I couldn't make the decision before Soldier's Peak to go home, I am now forced to stay? Louis saw my distress and held my hand. I didn't want to let go. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay.

But just had Halo said before, I was only a soul at this moment. My body was back in the Dragon Age world, not here.

I skipped what happened with Flemeth and told him about the travels to Soldier's Peak. That was all that I could remember.

"Did Halo tell you anything?" I asked, holding my now cold cup of coffee.

"Just ran by the fact that you got killed in Soldier's Peak and he's trying to revive you. But damn, my poor kitty. I wish I was there with you so I can beat the shit out of anyone that tries to hurt you." Louis said.

"Thank you puppy but then the babies! What will we do?" I said.

"Oh noes, the babies!" He dramatically said. I went to sit down on the sofa and the kids came to me every now and then. They were too busy going off and playing. Louis and I sat next to each other just talking about everything and anything.

He explained to me how they found my van, totaled with blood in it. The blood matched mine but I was nowhere to be found. After half a year, they had listed me as deceased. He kept the house with the money from my life insurance. He's had a difficult time raising both of our kids. He had plenty of help from our families and he made sure to show the kids how I looked like. He always reminded them that I loved them.

He pulled out his phone and showed me all the photos he took in case one day I came back. From his words, he didn't believe I was dead. I saw birthdays, all of the holidays, parks, and everything in between. I saw baths, sleepy faces, crying faces, silly videos of my babies. I saw how Ace grew taller and taller and more rambunctious. I saw how my daughter became unexpectedly lady like, gossiping with her stuffed toys.

We moved to the bedroom when it became their nap time. I laid there watching how my son fell asleep. My daughter was in the other room, sleeping by herself in her crib. After my son fell asleep, I watched him. He is just the same baby I remember all those years ago. I went into my daughter's room and burned her face in my memory.

Louis and I stayed out in the room. Feeling content with our company. We sat together, hand in hand. Giving each other kisses here and there. We had 2 hours together. We made the most out of it. Ace woke up eventually and separated us and sat between us. Then my husband had to get my daughter. We ate dinner of pizza. I never realized how much I missed the food from home.

It started to become darker and I knew that I didn't have much time left. I made the bath for my kids and they had a lot of fun. I dried them, dressed them, and did everything I could to remember how they looked like. Night settled in and I started to get sleepy. Louis realized that I was going to go soon. Halo came out of my chest and my kids swatted at him.

'There is one more thing. In order to bring her back, it would be best if we made an anchor. Your necklace.' Halo said. I took it off. 'Bring everyone here.' We all gathered together. 'Place your hands on your necklace, all of you.' We all did though my kids were laughing. The necklace shined before it became normal. 'Keep that here and we will find you again.'

"It's getting late." I rubbed my eyes. I helped my husband get the kids ready for bed. We moved my daughter in our bed. It was cramped but I wouldn't have it any other way. Louis and I held hands, holding our babies between us.

"I'm sorry I can't stay puppy." I cried in my pillow silently.

"You'll come back. I know you will. I'll wait for as long as it takes." He sniffled. I nodded. I couldn't fight back the sleepiness and I closed my eyes.

The next time I opened them, I saw an unfamiliar ceiling. I was cold and I was in a cot, alone.

I was alive, feeling dead inside.

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 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku (Thanks for your support! 3 )**

 **Yeah this chapter got away with me but it was awesome! I've been planning this for ages! Also I am very sorry about all the cursing. My husband got to write his own dialogue and he has a sailor's mouth. This chapter hit me hard as I was writing the part about my kids. I won't deny, I did cry.**

 **Thank you deadtrooper for following! Thank you FearaNightmare, Syutaku, and Chimera Spyke for reviewing!**

 **Guest:** _lol Basically this is one part of a saga that I've been writing for 2 years now. The first story I uploaded was Days of Our Lives, the second which follows Dragon Age Awakening is Days of Our Time, the most recent was about Dragon Age 2, Days of Our Past. I am writing all of the games but encountered really bit plot holes and details that wouldn't make sense unless I expanded it. That's how Days of Our Start came out and it will be continued with another Dragon Age Awakening story to replace Days of Our Time and that will be the last of my fix it fics before continuing Days of Our Past._


	56. Grey

**Warning! The following chapter involves suicidal thinking and self harm. Please read at your own discretion.**

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9:30 Guardian ?

I stretched out, trying to see if this was a dream. I slapped myself. No this wasn't a dream. I was back in Dragon Age. I had on a large tunic with some leggings and socks. A light was coming from the fireplace. It's weird. I had the strangest feeling I was here before but, at the same time, I didn't recognize anything. I saw everyone else sleeping on the floor. Talen and Wynne both slept near me. I saw Alfred, Eren, and Alistair sleeping near each other. Sten at the far wall. Morrigan was the nearest to the fire. Derek was snoring a little away with Levi and Zevran near him.

It must have been late at night still and here I am, writing in my journal that I recovered from my pack that was somehow beside me. I felt like a machine. I'm just doing this because it's the only thing I can do. Well there was another thing I can do but I'm sure that Halo would get pissed if I ended up dying again.

I went back to bed. There was no point in staying awake.

The second I opened my eyes, I was underneath the apple tree. It was smaller than what I remembered. When I got up, however, there was more than just a large field. There was a small house with a lake beside it. I looked at it confusingly but decided to walk down there. The lake had small ripples as the wind blew and was extremely foggy. I couldn't see through the bottom.

The house looked like one of those log cabins that you could sleep in if you were camping. Odd because I only ever saw them in movies or in vouchers. I saw through the windows but was met with blackness. I pulled open the door and it was a very simple one room home. A bed next to a window, a fireplace at the farthest wall next to a small kitchen. A table in the middle with a single chair and bookshelves upon bookshelves. I went and grabbed a book but it was blank. What did I expect? I sighed and went to the bed.

If the bed was here, does that mean I could finally sleep in the fade? I laid down and concentrated but I couldn't. My mind was too muddied from everything that has happened. One thing I noticed though was that Halo was nowhere to be seen.

"Halo?" I called out. Nothing happened. I sat up and waited. I wanted to cry. Did my one friend also leave me? I clenched my fists. It seemed that I had nothing left. Then I saw a tiny light floating around. The size of a golf ball. It lazily floated into my lap. "Halo?" My voice broke.

'I am sorry.' Halo said. I wrapped my hands around him and sobbed.

"Oh Thank God, I'm not alone." I whimpered.

'I must tell you before I sleep.' Halo said lazily.

"What?" I wondered.

'I used almost all my energy to send you back, to keep you here alive. It took a toll on me. This was my last gift to you before sleeping. The outside is not safe anymore but here is safe. Stay here and no demons can find you. Out there you may converse with spirits who can enter. Demons may force through. I lost a bit of myself when trying to connect your body and soul. A bit of me exists inside you now.' Halo explained.

"I don't understand." I said. Halo sighed as his light became weaker.

'A part of me is now inside of you. I cannot protect you if I am to sleep. With this, you will share my power but be careful. The more you use it, the more pieces of yourself become further apart and the more we become one. It will be difficult but I will bring you home. For now, I will sleep and gather my energy. You will be coming less and less into the fade as I cannot call out to you. Once I have awakened, I will bring you back. Be safe Beloved.' Halo said, his image getting fainter and fainter.

"No wait Halo. Please, don't leave me! I don't want to be alone!" I cried out, hugging Halo to my chest.

'Be patient…beloved…I will…come back…' Halo disappeared.

I woke up again with tears in my eyes. How much more can be taken away from me?

"Is this some sort of punishment? Is God testing me? Because he picked a really fucked up way to do it." I whispered, my throat constricting for another wave of tears. I was surprised that I wasn't dehydrated by now.

"Nia?" I looked over and Leliana was there. "You're awake." She breathed out.

"Unfortunately." I huffed.

"Let me go get Talen and Wynne." Leliana went out. I let out a breath as more tears came out, silent. It was the only thing I could do. The fire made the room bearable and the shadows danced on the walls. I looked at it. It was supposed to be red. That was the color of fire so why did it look grey? The colors of the world have bled away.

Talen and Wynne came in with Leliana and Eren right behind. Wynne came beside me and helped me sit up. I groaned as I realized I must have been lying down on uncomfortable ground for a while. My muscles felt weak and there was a painful cramp in my stomach. I looked as she gave me a clear red liquid inside a bottle.

"Drink it slowly. This is a concentrated elfroot potion only to be used on mortal wounds. We still don't know the extent of your spirit healing you. It wouldn't be wise not to be careful." Wynne explained. I opened the cork and the elfroot almost smelled like medicine. I smacked my lips and brought it to my mouth. There was the slight taste of honey and grass in the aftertaste but it tasted sweet for the most part. My stomach wrenched painfully and I curled in on myself.

"What happening?" Eren ordered and then my stomach growled so loud that it echoed.

"I am guessing she's hungry." Talen chuckled. Eren glared at him and Talen cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Get her some dried bread and water." Wynne ordered and Leliana nodded and left. Eren knelt to my level as the pain in my stomach subsided.

"How are you feeling?" Eren asked.

"What a loaded question to ask when I can't even remember how in the world I got here." I harshly whispered.

"You…you don't remember?" Eren asked.

"Halo spoke to me but didn't go in detail other than I died." I glared at him. Eren fidgeted. "I don't remember anything. I don't even remember how we got here or how I died." I whispered.

"We infiltrated Soldier's Peak. The veil was extremely weak here. We found a very strong demon that was able to be healed by old magic." Wynne explained.

"It got all of us and killed you while you protected Eren." Talen explained.

So, that was the choice. I protected Eren and ended up dying for him. I guess I couldn't sacrifice Eren to go home. All because of my indecisiveness I ended up here for who knows how long. I wasn't sure who to direct the emptiness and anger. If I kept it in, I was sure I was going to do something extremely stupid.

"Nia, I have you to thank for saving my life. If you didn't do that-" Eren started.

"I would have been able to go home." I whispered, clenching my fists and grabbing the sheet that covered my legs. "I can't go home…Ha! I can't go home!" Eren gave me a confused look while Wynne and Talen gave each other a look.

"Nia, what are you talking about?" Eren asked, placing a hand on my shoulder but I slapped it away.

"I lost my chance to go home because I couldn't choose between you and my family. Halo…Halo nearly had the energy to send me back…" I curled into myself. "And yet I couldn't make the choice! I couldn't! I lost them again and I lost Halo too!" I growled and grabbed my scalp, digging my nails into it. "How much more can they take away from me!? Is this the reason why I'm alive?! Just for more pain!?" I screamed, becoming overwhelmed from the situation. My heart started beating erratically and I felt wetness in my hands, mostly likely blood from scratching my scalp open.

I heard shuffling and a door open and close. I felt someone touch me and I growled. "Leave me alone!" They grabbed me but it was hard to see through tear filled eyes. "Don't touch me!" A hand covered my eyes and my mind became foggy. It was the high without the benefit of making you happy. My breathing evened out and I felt someone lay me down again.

"Morrigan, what did you do?" I heard Eren growl as I couldn't move my head. I merely stared at the flickering fireplace.

"Tis only a sleeping spell although…" I heard Morrigan stop.

"It doesn't matter. She isn't fighting against us." Wynne said.

"Wynne, what does she mean when she said she lost Halo too?" Talen asked. I heard Wynne gave out a long sigh.

"Halo is…was her guardian spirit. I was able to sense it as I drew closer to her but now…the energy is barely there." Wynne explained. "This is the spirit that guided her to our world. You may not believe it but it is a thing of great power, something that I have never seen before."

"So…does that mean when she said she was from another world, it was true?" Talen asked.

"Tis late to ask is it not?" Morrigan scoffed. My eyes started to become heavy.

"She needs more rest…" Wynne started before I blacked out again.

I woke up again in the middle of the night. My scalp was healed and everyone was sleeping in their cots. No one was awake. I wiggled my toes and sat up, my joints cracking and my muscles still feeling sore. I took off the thin sheet and got up slowly. I wobbled on my feet slightly. I didn't know how long I was out. I took careful steps and arrived at the door. I opened it slowly as it did small creaks. I slipped through and closed it.

I was hit with the chill from outside. There was more snow and clouds were trailing the sky. Stars twinkled as the moons were both half full. I shuddered as my body naturally shivered from the cold. I took a few steps in the snow, realizing that the steps were cleaned. I stepped down the stairs carefully, my feet getting stabbing pain from being thrusted into the cold.

I sat down on the last step. The world resembled what I was feeling now with no color and deathly cold. I wanted someone to blame but I know that I only had to blame myself. I couldn't make the choice so now I was paying the consequences. It was my fault. It was all my fault.

Now I had no one.

I exhaled and brought my hand up to my neck. I noticed something. I touched my neck everywhere but I couldn't feel my necklace. I remembered how Halo used it as an anchor, to tie myself to my family once he can gather the energy. I felt oddly naked without it and remembered my family only caused more stabbing pains in my chest.

My wrists felt oddly sensitive as well. I rubbed them but the pain didn't go away. I relished it though. I could only blame myself and pain was my punishment. Does this mean I'm past denial and anger to finally reach acceptance?

"No. I'm only lying to myself if I accepted it all after a few days. My heads such a fucked-up mess I can't even think straight. I don't want to think and yet my mind won't stop thinking." My throat had the lump again and I grabbed my wrist, squeezing until I couldn't feel my fingers. I wanted to release the pain that I had in my heart. I got up and strolled into the courtyard. The snow was swept away. My feet hit the cold hard ground and I realized that there was a forge nearby. I looked at it and it still felt slightly warm. Did Levi's family come here already? How long have I been out?

There was new equipment on the forge. Hammers, pincers, molds to hold molten metals, and what looked like large shears. I took the shears in my hands, they were rough with teeth. This would do. I lifted my tunic's sleeve which was still too big for me and put the shears on my wrist. My hand trembled and, for a second, I thought, 'What the hell am I doing?' But I wanted to feel something other than the pain in my heart. I wanted the pain out. I wanted to take out the pain.

I gave out a small whimper as I dug the shears teeth into my skin. The blood slowly dripped from my wrist onto the snow. I shivered as I felt the small reprieve from the emotional pain shift into my physical pain. It was only masking what I was feeling inside but I didn't want to feel my heart breaking, my self-loathing, the blame, my enormous guilt. The dark emotions were threatening to drown me. I wanted to throw myself from the highest peak. What's the point of being alive when I feel dead inside? This was torture. This was cruel.

To have spent a day with my family, only for them to be ripped from my arms again. Why? I wanted to cry out to the heavens. I wanted to hear God's reply to my one single question: Why? But my God was silent in this Godless world. My hope was shattered and my faith has been through the ringer. I sat against the forge, my back warm because of it. The shears dumped into the snow. I lifted my wrists to watch the blood drip onto the white fluff.

Bright red blood on pure white snow. It was the same weird pleasure of watching black ink sully parchment. It cleared my mind but only for a moment. In the end, I stared up at the night sky wondering exactly what was I doing.

"I guess this means I'm seriously messed up in the head." I whispered. I saw a tall figure come down from the stairs from my peripheral view but I still stared into the night sky. Their shadow obscured the moon's light and I saw the one person I didn't think would be out here, Sten. He looked down at me with disappointment in his eyes. I put my wrist down, scabs already forming from where I cut myself.

"I have lost my way and my purpose." I stated.

"You have succeeded in protecting your charge. This is what was expected of you and you even gave your life doing so." Sten said. "This is worthy of honor and pride. Why do you look down on it?"

This was new. Sten was actually praising me. I would have been overjoyed if the dread didn't set in. I hummed and I rubbed my wrist.

"We're the same. I have lost my soul and, in doing so, lost my way home." I described. Sten tensed up at that. He stood next to me.

"The Arishok asked, 'What is the blight?' With that one question, me and my brothers set forth on our journey to Ferelden." Sten started. I nodded. "We had made an arduous journey and traveled through Ferelden. We did not encounter the threat of darkspawn and we thought that we would not encounter anything of the Blight, until we camped at Lake Calenhad. They came from everywhere, the ground beneath our feet, the air above us, even our own shadows harbored the darkspawn. We fought valiantly but in the end, I lost my brothers and I killed the last darkspawn too late. I fell."

"The others didn't survive." I stated.

"No. They did not find anyone else. I don't know how long I lay on the battlefield among the dead nor do I know how the farmers found me. All I knew was when I woke, I was no longer among my brothers and my sword was gone from my hand." Sten described.

"You lost it on the battlefield." I whispered.

"I searched for it and, when that failed, I asked the farmers what had become of it. They found me with nothing and then I killed them with my bare hands." Sten confessed. I hummed and nodded. "I did." Sten clenched his hand. "I knew they didn't have my blade. I knew they had no reason to lie to me but I panicking and, unthinking, I struck them down. I have forfeited my honor. The sword was made for my hand alone. I have carried it from the day I was set into the Beresaad. I was to DIE wielding it for MY PEOPLE." Sten got heated. I slowly stood up, resting against the forge. "Even if I were to cross Ferelden and Tevinter unarmed to bring my report to the Arishok, I would be struck down on sight by the antaam. I would be known as a deserted, soulless. No soldier would cast aside his blade while he drew breath. I cannot go home." Sten confessed.

He was guilty too because he knows that he was at fault. It wasn't Sten's fault that he lost his sword. It was stolen from him but it was his fault that he panicked and attacked innocents. Everyone views Sten as a monster all because he confessed that he killed readily but isn't that what we do as well? In order to protect our group, we have killed too. Maybe they weren't innocent but we struck them down.

Sten knows his guilt and has eagerly sought out his redemption. Redemption is different for all of us. Some of us find it through prayer, others through action and Sten is a man of action. It's the reason why whenever I was playing, I'd look up to him.

"Is that why you talked to that one man while we were at Lake Calenhad? You were trying to find your sword?" I asked.

"Yes. He had told me that a merchant who has made his way to the Frostback Mountains sold him the spot but had taken all the valuables. I was hoping to meet him if we are to go to Orzammar though the talks have been of Redcliffe instead." Sten looked down, sad.

"I will find your sword." I said.

"That is a highly improbably thing to do." Sten said.

"And I'll do it so you can go home. I might not be able to because of my indecisiveness but I won't let the same thing happen to you. I already know how much it hurts not being able to go home but to have it in front of you and having the chance stolen from you? It's cruel." I promised.

"Perhaps that is an empty promise…but thank you." Sten said.

"My guilt stems from the fact that I wasn't able to make a decision. I don't know what was the right decision. I told you my mission was to protect Eren…but I was only using him to find a way back home. In the end, I protected him and lost my chance. I don't know when I'll be able to go back. It already took almost 3 years…I don't know how much longer I'll have to wait." I explained. I looked at my hand, the ring was the only thing I had left.

"So long as you remain disciplined, you will achieve your goal. Do not lose your focus or else the tide will sweep you away." Sten said.

I fidgeted with my ring. Focus. That I can do. "Thank you Sten. You are very wise." I said.

"I only say what needs to be said, which is very little." Sten huffed.

For the first time since I woke up, I laughed.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku!**

 **To those who got uncomfortable I am very sorry but everyone has a breaking point. Anyway, I finally got to clean up the topic on how and why Nia can use Halo's power which will now surface in later events. I'm glad I was able to flesh Halo out as a character at this point but worry not my friends! He will come back!**

 **Also on a side note, the next few chapters will be on the depressing side so I'm sorry if she's not all that happy to be back. She gets better (sorta).**

 **Thank you nya mayaha nya, exaigon, demonman21, and shadesnake for favoriting/following!**

 **HellaRose:** _Thank you and Hi! I'm glad you're enjoying the rewrite! There will be plenty of changes though the same story will still be in the background.  
_ **Blooddoll1:** _Yes she will and it will be a wild ride until then._  
 **Chimera Spyke:** _Again, I apologize for getting worried. Yes and this scene was what I was leading up to. To finally see and have what you always wanted, only to have it ripped out from under you. No one can say exactly how they react but I was able to get Nia's reaction at least. Thank you!  
_ **Syutaku:** _Yes! Feel the feels! Also the Evangelion thing was intentional lol_  
 **Enna:** _Sorry for confusing you but only Lives and Time are getting rewrites. Days of Our Past will only be edited with the new information from the rewrites. I hope this helps!_

 **Please Review! :D 20,000 HITS! LOVE YOU ALL!**


	57. Focus and Walk

9:30 Guardian 11th

We've been here for four days. Levi's brother, Mikhael, was stationed in Amaranthine and came when Levi passed on the message that Soldier's Peak was safe again. I was knocked out for 3 days.

After my talk with Sten last night, we both headed back to rest. I went into a fretful sleep full of nightmares of my family, of their grief and despair. I could only imagine how my kids would have felt to have me only to lose me again. In the morning, everyone got up to go off and do something. Morrigan, Wynne, and Talen were all in Avernus' chamber, trying to decipher his notes about the Blight I haven't asked if he was alive or not. Eren, Alistair, Derek, and Sten all went to Mikhael. Apparently, their fights with the demons took a toll on their armor.

Leliana had gone out to hunt along with Zevran and Alfred. She wrapped up my wrist when she awoke next to me and gave me a small bowl of porridge with an elfroot potion. Leliana gave me sympathetic glances when she saw the dried blood. Zevran had turned away. I was left alone and I watched the fire. The food was good. I slathered some of the potion on my wrist before drinking some of it. In the end, I was left with a small mark. Unless you looked closely, you wouldn't be able to tell that I had cut myself.

I relished the time alone. I didn't want to be near anyone. I was afraid that I might say something or do something that would hurt someone. I was emotionally exhausted and drained from the events from yesterday. I was a whirlwind of emotions. Anger, sadness, despair, loneliness, and I got it out thanks to the pain and Sten. Even then, I wasn't sure what to feel now.

What should I do now? Sten told me to focus on my goal so that I can go home. I would need to wait but for how long? Just yesterday was tough, how can I stand it for a few more years? I wasn't sure. I'm not sure about anything anymore. The door opened and Zevran came in with a bowl that was steaming. He nodded and went to sit by me. He put down the bowl and it smelled really good. He gave me a spoon and I whirled the contents of the stew. It had big pieces of meat in it.

"Alfred has a wicked sense of smell and tracked down a boar for us. We are smoking pieces of it now and have a bountiful stew for it. Please eat." Zevran said. I blew on the stew and ate slowly. Zevran sat next to me, fidgeting. I knew there was something he wanted to say.

"I'm sorry." I said softly.

"There is no need to apologize." Zevran chuckled.

"If only I was careful, none of this would have happened." I whispered.

"Do not say that. Do you wish to repeat what you did and let one of your friends die?" Zevran shot back. My throat constricted and another wave of tears threatened to fall.

"No? Maybe? I don't know." I whimpered, setting the bowl down. "I don't know anymore." I wiped the tears that came down. Zevran exhaled sharply.

"I know how you are feeling but be grateful that at least Eren is alive. Some betrayals don't end that well." Zevran sighed. I knew who he was talking about. I didn't want to push the subject.

"I just want to get to the highest point of Soldier's Peak and fall. Stupid, isn't it? After all Halo did to save me." I confessed. "I got to see my family just for one day. Both of my kids were tall, half my height. They were both beautiful and remembered me." I gasped. "I got to spend time with my husband, be with him, hold him…and it was all taken away." I sobbed. "In the end, all I got was my dreams and hope dangled in front of me, only for it to be taken away. Why should I even be alive?" I cried and hugged myself. Zevran stayed silent until my sobs died out. I felt even more empty as I stared at the fire.

"There was a point in my life where I did not care whether I awoke in the morning. I was a coward though. I couldn't go forth with killing myself. Instead, I decided to allow the Grey Wardens to do it." Zevran started. I stared at him. He fidgeted with his hands. "I wanted someone to decide my fate. Grey Wardens are famed for their prowess in battle. I didn't think I would be saved." He chuckled. He looked at me warmly. "I have you to thank for that."

"I didn't do anything." I whispered.

"That isn't true and you know that." Zevran put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I was prepared to see the end of my life that day. Instead, you put forth the idea of having me around. As to why? I don't know. Perhaps it was my dashing good looks, my surly voice, or is it the fact of having a handsome assassin around could become handy?" Zevran wondered. I chuckled.

"Everyone deserves a second chance." I said. "I just…I didn't want to see more death."

"And there you go. Now I am here, thankful for the second chance that you gave me. You have also been given a second chance. It would be best not to waste it." Zevran said. I went back to staring at the fire. I heard Zevran sigh again. "Cuando tocas fondo, solo hay un lado para irte." Zevran said. I looked at him and he pointed up.

"When you reach the bottom, the only way to go is up." I translated.

"Yes. It is an old saying but one you need reminding of no?" Zevran smiled.

"It's something my mom used to say." I murmured.

"Then she is a wise woman." Zevran commented.

"Yeah." I agreed. The only thing to do is to go up huh? That was easier said than done. "Zevran, can we be friends?" I asked.

"Ah friends? I thought that was already the state of this relationship unless you were meaning friends in another fashion." Zevran flirted. I pinched his cheek. "Ah my one weakness." Zevran chuckled, rubbing his cheek.

"I lost my friend." I said. "Halo saved my life but it took too much out of him." I explained.

"Your spirit friend?" Zevran asked. I nodded. "I am truly sorry for your loss." I looked at him and he did mean it. There was sympathy in his eyes.

"I'm going to have to rely on you Zevran." I stated.

"But…well, why me?" He cleared his throat.

"Because I think I might hate Eren if I don't get these emotions under control. A part of me blames him even though I know that it's so stupid to do that. A huge part of me is guilt-ridden though for letting this come to happen. For some odd reason, I think you probably passed through something like this. A decision you made in the heat of the moment, only to realize your mistake too late." I explained. I saw Zevran gulp but he nodded.

"Then, it would be my honor to have you as a friend." Zevran took out his hand. I smiled and shook it.

"Friends." I nodded, feeling my heart and my burden lift.

"Of course I will say that if you have ever need of my services…" Zevran hinted.

"Oh yeah, I'll make sure to have Alfred visit your tent." I joked.

"You are breaking my heart." Zevran said, twisting my hand and kissing it. It felt nice but I couldn't help but feel I would rather have liked my husband doing it instead.

"I'm sorry for this." I said, inching closer.

"Sorry for what?" Zevran cleared his throat. I put my arms around him and settled my head on his neck. I could feel that he was tense at the touch. It was funny how Zevran boasted about his seduction skills and how many women he bedded. When presented with something that called for more than just lust, though, he didn't know how to react. Of course, I knew that he was still hurting over Rinna and I knew that I was only using him for physical comfort but I needed this.

I couldn't depend on Eren. I had this odd feeling when I was around him. I got angry, I felt guilty, and I didn't want to see him at all. Even thinking about him got me riled up. It wasn't logical and it wasn't his fault either. It was my own but that human part of me didn't want to admit it. The illogical side wanted to pin it on someone to escape. I had to come to terms with it though. Eren was NOT at fault. It was my own. Until those dark feelings about him settled, I had to stay away from him. Eren was my friend too but I didn't want to hurt him. I had to keep him at a distance.

Zevran understood depression though. He hit that low after he killed Rinna. He understood the depths of my emotion. I could lean on him. I was being selfish but I had to have an anchor. I had to have someone there reminding me that no, I can't kill myself. I had to keep going. Sten told me to focus. I can do that but I needed something to help with that. Leliana felt betrayal but she had found peace. Wynne would sound too condescending. For some odd reason, I could hear her telling me to 'Get over it' in a polite manner.

Talen and I had a breakthrough at the Circle but he was still going through too much. I didn't want to add to his plate. Alistair still didn't believe my story and I wasn't close to Derek at all. Morrigan would not care at all. So, I'm sorry Zevran. I'm sorry for doing this to you. I'm going to be selfish and I'm going to use you to make myself feel better until I can stand on my own. I'm a horrible person but I don't want to think about dying anymore.

"And what are you two doing?" Leliana asked as she came through the door.

"I'm hugging Zevran. He's really hard though so it's uncomfortable." I replied.

"It is not what you think!" Zevran laughed nervously as Leliana glared at him.

"I meant his armor." I laughed and let him go. Leliana seemed relieved to hear that.

"Good, because if I had to find that Zevran somehow used this situation to his advantage…" Leliana let that hang.

"I would truly not, assassin's honor." He raised his hand.

"Assassin's don't have honor codes." Leliana sat down next to me before taking out another bottle of potion. She put the bowl of stew back into my hands. "Eat and then drink."

"Ok. I'm wondering though, why doesn't Talen or Wynne come over and give me a once over?" I asked, taking heartily bites of the semi cold stew.

"Mages can heal wounds that are visible and the most gifted can heal from within though that is a very rare ability." Wynne came in and knelt right in front of me. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm not going to scream this time." I stated.

"Then that's an improvement." Wynne sighed.

"How long are we going to stay here?" I asked.

"Mikhael should be finished with our armors in a few days. He even took your measurements while you were out." Leliana explained.

"We are also using this time to uncover more about Avernus' research. It seems that he has done much with the Blight and the Grey Wardens even at a great cost…" Wynne murmured.

"Who's Avernus?" I asked.

"He is a Grey Warden mage that fought with Sophia Dryden and granted himself a longer life through blood magic. We nearly fought him to the death but Talen stopped us. He convinced Avernus to work for us." Wynne explained.

"Ok…so what happened to the fade rift?" I asked.

"We closed it after we killed a demon that possessed the body of Sophia Dryden. Eren and Derek convinced it to tell Levi about his family and she told him about how the war between Grey Wardens and the King of Ferelden happened. Levi had a hard time believing that Sophia intended to usurp the throne like history tells us. He seemed to find comfort that she at least tried to stop the tyrant though whether she would have made a better Queen would be up to his opinion." Leliana explained.

"Morrigan and I swept through the ruins more to find anymore rifts or veil weaknesses. We found none and I put protective runes where the veil was weak. We are safe here from anymore demons." Wynne assured.

"That's good." I sighed. "So I guess I might as well get out and about then." I said, about to stand up. Zevran got up and offered his hand. I took it and steadied myself. I breathed in. Focus and look at your goal. Get off the ground and walk. My body creaked for not doing anything for such a long time. I opened the door and the chill air hit my face. The colors seemed to have bled back a bit.

"Don't forget your boots. You wouldn't want to walk barefoot in the snow and catch a cold, do you?" Leliana wondered and offered my boots to me.

"Thank you." I put them on and went down the stairs. I heard some pounding at the forge and the sounds of craftsmanship. Levi, Alistair, and Eren were working on the stables. Derek and Mikhael, from the looks of it, were both at the forge.

I saw Sten, shirtless, training with what looked like a new greatsword. When he saw me, he nodded before going back to his routine. Next to the stairs, near the forge, was a bench filled with various food. They had a black pot over a small fire. Another stew it seemed like.

"That should be steady by now!" Levi shouted from the roof. Alistair and Eren both stopped holding onto the pillars while Levi hammered away. It was odd seeing them out of their armor. Eren was the first one to spot me. That odd dark pit seemed to surface as he walked over to me with a happy face on. When he came close to me, I instinctively stepped back. He noticed and his face dropped a little. Eren did smile softly though.

"You're better." He stated.

"For the most part." I looked away.

"I see." Eren sighed.

"I'm sorry I'm being a burden." I said.

"No you are not. Don't think that way, please. Besides, we had a tough time with demons after…" Eren cleared his throat while I kept my focus on the black pot. "We needed time to rest too so please don't think that this is your fault." I bit my lip and clenched the bottoms of my tunic. Don't get mad. Focus on your goal.

"Yeah." I said.

"Well, I can at least say one undead is looking well today!" Alistair chuckled while patting Eren's shoulder. Eren face palmed. "That was too soon wasn't it?"

"Oh Alistair, only you can be funny and insulting at the same time." I chuckled.

"You smiled! Oh good, I thought you were going to scowl and frown like Morrigan and Sten. We already have enough of those." Alistair ruffled my hair. It felt normal. It all felt normal. In an odd sense, I wanted to push away. I didn't want to be surrounded by positivity. I wanted to be dark and curled up, away from everyone. I didn't want this at all. Then I had to remind myself, there's nothing else I can do. Should I just curl up and waste away? No. I need to keep going. I had to keep going. If I walked, if I ran, then maybe I could outrun these dark feelings of mine until they settle.

I needed time but time wasn't something we had on hand at the moment. After all, we needed to save Ferelden. I couldn't sit back and wallow. That had to be done sometime else. I'll grieve for now. I'll rest for now. Until the day I have to get back on my feet. Then I'll starting fighting back again.

"Thank you." I said.

"Of course." Alistair sighed.

"Hey missy you're finally up!" Derek waved over. I waved back. The others came outside as well. Morrigan and Talen came out from where Avernus was. We all sat on the stairs. Everyone talked about something. The mages gathered around, discussing the notes of Avernus. The warriors talking about their new armor and weapons. Leliana and Zevran joked around with each other. I sat at the top, looking down at them.

I felt displaced, like I wasn't there. I was separate. They had lives here. This was their world. I was the one that didn't belong. To think that I wished to join them, now it was more like a prison. Focus and breathe. Focus and breathe. There was no point in thinking about the past. I had to keep an eye on my goal. I had to stay the course. I had to keep walking. I had to keep waiting.

These emotions are slowly tearing my mind apart. I had to ground myself again. I couldn't go off the ropes. I messed with my ring and found that it calmed me down. I replayed the memories of my family. Ace, Alice, Louis…the day that we had all spent together, finally together again. That day is going to come. That day WILL come. I will make sure of it.

Focus on your goal. Keep on walking. Don't stop. Keep running. Run until it settles, until I see the goal in my sights. Focus. Focus. FOCUS.

Because my family is waiting. Because their smiles and their love are waiting. Because I refuse to let my children grieve and mourn over me.

Because one day I'll be back.

Be patient. Keep running toward the goal. Focus. Breathe.

You're alive today. You'll be alive tomorrow. You'll be alive then and you'll live alongside them one day.

For them, I will keep on living.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku!**

 **Another change from the last one! Avernus has survived though Demon Sophia is dead still. I think I captured Nia's despair no?**

 **Shout out to Shibashi, I Growl For Fun, and OBSERVER01 for favoriting/following! Thank you Chimera Spyke, I love you philosophical reviews! Please Review!**


	58. Apathy

**Warning! This chapter mentions self-harm. Read at your own discretion.**

* * *

9:30 Guardian 12th

I saw what they were working on. It looked like the Grey Warden armor in future installments, clothes with chainmail inside them or at least stitched in them. I held up what Derek gave me and put it on. It had weight to it. The chainmail separated in lines with a front chestplate without the griffon though. There was also a skirt added though the plate armor type not the frilly type.

"This…is interesting. How did you even figure this out?" I wondered.

"It was Avernus. He was the one that gave us these schematics. We figured, if we're Grey Wardens, then we might as well look the part." Derek shrugged, helping me put it on. It fit really well and it wasn't difficult to put on. It's as if all you were doing is putting on a coat. A very heavy coat with straps. "We got some heavier stuff for us. The big guy only wanted the standard heavy armor not the Grey Warden stuff as well as Leliana and Zevran. What about you missy? You like it?"

"Yeah." I smiled. It took me back to where I enjoyed playing this series. I still remembered the mods they added to Origins so you can make these to look the part. I have to admit, I was always a Grey Warden at heart. It killed me to kick them out of Orlais in Inquisition but I did it so I could know what happens. 100% completion, eh well, more or less. Alistair gave me a silly grin before helping Levi with the horses.

"Good. We got some new leather boots to go with it too." Derek said tapping on the black ones. I checked them over and they also had plates for over the knees. My straps were black too. They were the only ones that were black actually. The others had the usual leather color.

"Why are mine black?" I asked.

"Eren said you'd like it like that. He said you had a preference." Derek said before going over the food bench. Guilt surfaced again. I had to thank Eren. I heard the door slam from on top of the stairs and saw Morrigan with a scowl on her face as she stomped down the stairs. Eren followed closely after.

"Morrigan you must see reason." Eren said, trying to catch up to her.

"Being reasonable is having that old decrepit mage teach all of us the same content of what he learned. Why did he choose to teach the youngest mage out of all of us? I understand why he did not want to teach the old biddy but in all seriousness, why not me?" Morrigan huffed and crossed her arms. She stared up at Eren waiting for a response. Derek sided up to me and gave me a few pieces of smoked meat. I took them and got ready for the show.

"From what he told me, he would rather teach a fellow Grey Warden than one that doesn't know about the Blight." Eren said.

"I know the Blight. I have fought darkspawn alongside everyone else as well as seen Blighted lands. Do not tell me what I do not know." Morrigan answered. The meat tasted really good by the way.

"Yes you have experienced the Blight but you have never gone through the Joining. His magic has to deal with opening the Taint inside our blood and you don't have that. Talen is the only one that has and can be the only on that can learn." Eren rubbed his face. Derek and I gave each other a side glance.

"Perhaps I cannot learn it but I could at least put it in my grimoire in case it becomes useful later on or even recorded! If you have not realized, Talen does not carry a grimoire such as I or the batty mage." Morrigan argued.

"Please refer to her as Wynne." Eren pinched his nose bridge. "I see your point. I will try to convince Avernus to at least let you write about his findings." Ladies and gentlemen, Morrigan: 1, Eren: 0.

"Please see that you do." Morrigan said before morphing into her raven form and flying away. Eren did a long drawn out sigh before Derek started to laugh. He went over to Eren and slapped him on his back. Eren nearly doubled over before Derek went up the stairs to go inside.

"That was…an experience." I said, finishing my meat. "Wait a minute, if Talen is learning how to harness the Taint in his blood, does that mean he's learning blood magic?" I wondered.

"Oh please don't mention-" Eren started.

"Wait, you said he was having Avernus study the Blight and the Taint!" Alistair came on through after grooming the horses.

"Blood magic." Eren mumbled and finished.

"Oops." I said.

"Eren, did you lie to me?" Alistair had a hurt look on his face. I wondered if I should get another thing to eat because this was going to be dramatic as hell.

"I did not lie." Eren stood his ground.

"All you did was just omit the truth right?" I mentioned, getting a piece of bread. Eren glared at me. "Doesn't exactly describe lying but it's still wrong."

"You know what Blood Magic is Eren. We witness what it could do in the Circle! Look what happened when one Senior Enchanter learned it!" Alistair shouted.

"Talen is not power hungry or driven by a need of pride. He can control it." Eren shot back. Alistair's face contorted in pain and he clenched his hands into fists.

"Why don't you ask Talen?" I asked. Alistair switched to me. "Eren is only telling these things but Talen is directly learning from it. Ask him and then see if you still trust him. There's no point in arguing with Eren." I shrugged. Eren gave me an incredulous look but Alistair seemed to deflate. He had a second to think before nodding.

"You're right. I'll go to Talen but this doesn't mean I won't remember this Eren. We're a team and teams don't keep things from each other." Alistair shot back before going up the stairs to go into the peak. Eren glared at me.

"What?" I wondered, slowly eating my bread.

"Why did you even mention Blood Magic?" Eren rubbed his face. "If Alistair and Talen can't work together-"

"Talen isn't that sort of person and you know that but you'd be surprised how tempting power is. I believe in Talen though. He's a good person and he really does want to help but having you and Alistair fight is only going to set us back again. It's only logical, right? If he wants answers, then get it from the source instead of going to you. Then Alistair would have to make his decision on the spot after talking to Talen." I explained.

"I was trying to avoid a dispute." Eren argued, puffing out his chest. He always does that when he wants to look bigger. Intimidation would work on me if I didn't spend about two years dealing with it.

"Yeah and if Talen uses Blood Magic in the middle of a battle? Alistair would only get even madder because of the fact that both of you chose to keep it from him. Alistair isn't a child so don't coddle him. Keeping things from people will only serve to distance them. There's no point in keeping secrets if they're only going to get blasted later on." I explained.

"You haven't been completely truthful about what happened after your incident." Eren crossed his arms and stared me down.

"I got to be with my family and got taken away after a day." I responded. I noticed my responses were cold to him. It was going to be hard not trying to blame him.

"Yet you explained that if you didn't save me you would have been able to go back. What does that mean?" Eren asked. I looked up at him. A part of me didn't want to tell him what Flemeth had explained but I still wanted to hurt him. The illogical side, the darker side of me, the one part of me that wanted to blame the world wanted to exact vengeful pain.

"Just as I said. There was a price for me to go back and that price was you, Oren, and Derek." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It hurt to tell him. I opened my eyes and Eren looked confused and slightly hurt.

"Why us three?" He asked. I clenched the bread that was in my hand. I took a steadying breath. My heart was beating rapidly. The truth wasn't easy to tell.

"You weren't supposed to be here. Flemeth had the power of sight." I said. Just like Eren, I had to omit facts as well. He didn't believe I was sent here from another world, how could he believe that I knew what was going to happen in the next 13 years? "She said that because I entered the world, things had changed. I caused the ripple." I looked down at the snow, at his feet. "You, Oren, and Derek were supposed to be dead. There was only supposed to be one warden that survived the joining."

"There are no such things as seers. Flemeth was a powerful witch and nothing more. What she said is nothing more than lies." Eren shot back with a near snarl. I looked up. He was battling what I told him in his mind. Doubt and fear were playing in his eyes as well as clear denial.

"If I had left for my world, you all would have died but I couldn't make the decision. I couldn't sacrifice anyone. I wanted to know if there was another way, an alternate route but now…" I sighed. "There was no time to figure out another way. I died and Halo used up his energy to bring me back. In the end, I couldn't choose." I confessed.

"You would have sacrificed us?" Eren breathed out. I face palmed

"I'm here because I couldn't sacrifice you, idiot." I rolled my eyes. "I'm still angry about it though but just ignore that part of me. It's the small part of me that's still really angry for stupid reasons. I'm going inside." I walked past him to go to the stairs.

"Nia." I heard him call out. I clenched the bread. "Thank you."

Pain flared to my wrists again. I nodded while still going up the stairs. I went inside and looked at my wrist. The small line that could be unnoticed unless someone tried to focus on it. I dug my nails into it again to forget about the pain in my heart. My throat started to constrict and I had an odd feeling on my chest. I chose to ignore it and kept on eating my bread.

I walked past the foyer and walked through the rooms. It was eerily quiet with only my footsteps echoing out, creaking underneath my weight. I found the stairs to the second floor. I ate the last of my bread. I had wondered whether or not I should visit the place where I died. I thought, why the hell not? I climbed the stairs. An odd sense of déjà vu hit me when I stood in the wide room.

There were clear signs of fighting. A bookcase was completely destroyed, there were parts of the wooden floor that were cracked, and an odd tingle in the air. I looked at what looked to be an altar in the corner. Most of it was smashed to pieces and the ground was scratched out in some areas.

I walked toward it and found a huge bloody spot though. My chest started to hurt again. I absentmindedly rubbed it. This was it. This is where I 'died.' I knelt and touched the spot, involuntarily wincing. My fingers scratched at the wood, peeling off flakes that were dry. All that blood…it was a wonder how I was still standing. It reminded me of my first accident. Halo saved me twice. It was going to be very lonely without him. I started to walk away when I heard loud voices drifting in. Another door opened and Talen came out, followed by a pissed off Alistair.

"It's still Blood Magic!" Alistair shouted.

"The Joining is Blood Magic too. There have been enlisted Blood Mages as well. Why does it make a difference if I'm learning how to control the taint?" Talen explained.

"Because of what happened in the Circle! Using that type of magic will only open you to demons! Are you accepting a demon's help?" Alistair walked forward and in front of Talen. They both had a stare down.

"That's not true." I said, standing up and wiping my hands on my tunic. They both turned and realized that I was in the room too. "Most mages that learn Blood Magic learn it from demons because that's the easiest way. Sometimes it can happen accidentally as well like getting cut and realizing that blood can be used too. It's rare when someone teaches you but all magic is dangerous not just using blood. Talen is strong willed and there's a reason why demons ask first to possess you. It takes too much energy for them to do it by force. As long as Talen is strong willed and can resist the temptation, then he should be fine or does this mean you don't trust Talen?" I explained while fidgeting with my clothes. I gave Alistair a stare and my description seemed to throw him off guard.

"It's still wrong." Alistair mumbled.

"Talen, are you going to sacrifice anyone on our team if it comes down to it?" I asked.

"Wha-! Of course not! I'd rather die first!" Talen sputtered.

"You seem to be mistaking all Blood Mages to be bad guys. Sometimes circumstances forces their hand or maybe they wanted to help. If they gave in, that was their own wills being weak. Do you trust Talen, Alistair?" I asked.

"I…Of course." Alistair sighed. "But…it's just…" He groaned.

"I get it. You were taught from early on that only monsters use that form of magic but I believe in Talen. You should too." I said, walking to Talen and putting my hand on his shoulder. "I've got your back as long as you got mine." I smiled. Talen stared at me before his ears got red. He hugged me really tightly and I hugged back.

"I'm glad you're alive. When they told me what happened…I kicked myself for getting beat by the demon. I'm sorry." Talen said. He slightly shook under my touch and I patted his head.

"Thank you. I'm not going anywhere though so don't worry." I said. Alistair shuffled awkwardly on his feet.

"Ok, ok. I get it but if you get your mage robes in a bunch, I swear to Andraste I'll be the first to put you down." Alistair said cheerily. Talen left the hug and fist bumped Alistair's chest.

"I'll hold you to that. Anyway, I'm starving. Time to go eat. You coming Nia?" Talen asked.

"No, go on ahead." I said. Alistair and Talen went on their way. My smile dropped. I went back to the altar. There was something here. Remnants of the fade rift? Possibly but I wasn't sure. I went back to the blood spot and my chest ached again. I wanted to ask how I died and at the same time I didn't want to know either. My chest was bothering me and my wrists tingled. I hated the way I was right now. I looked around and saw something glint in the torchlight. It was a piece of glass with a sharp edge.

I grabbed it and ran my fingers along the edge. I pricked a finger with it. I smeared the blood in between my fingers and wondered whether I should do this or look for Zevran for comfort. I started to think and thinking was bad for me. Well more like dwell. I couldn't stop remembering my family, the death I experienced, Halo, the anger I felt for Eren, and the fact that everyone was so happy to see me…They want me to get back on my feet. They cared about me. They'll eventually realize I have changed and then push me away, just like everyone else when I fell the first time.

Why are you doing this? Supposed friend. You weren't like this before. Brother. What happened to my strong and beautiful daughter? Mom. Are you really going to let something like this get you down? Just get up and you'll feel better. Dad. Why are you depressed? You have nothing to be depressed about. Louis.

I didn't ask to be saved but I was thankful for it. At the same time, I was utterly resentful. I didn't want this. I didn't want to fight. I didn't want to kill. I didn't want to be killed. I wanted a normal life with my family where the only thing I had to worry about was paying the bills. Something like this wasn't what I wished for.

Emptiness, the void, apathy, and pain. In order to not feel pain, I trapped it away in the bottle. The little marbles of pain shining, glistening, and waiting. Waiting for me to break but I won't break. I have to keep holding on even if I stand on the edge of the cliff as it crumbles under my weight. I have to get this out and there was only one way.

So I stabbed the shard in to my wrist, cutting the hand that was holding it as well. The physical pain helped what I was feeling inside yet I quickly grew numb to the sensation. The abyss was tearing my heart and physical pain was no longer a way to get it out. I heard heavy footfalls behind me as I took out the glass shard and let it fall to the ground.

"What is my purpose?" I asked.

"That is not something I can answer." I heard Sten say. "In the Qun, a tamassaran would choose what is your path in life. They are the ones to seek and to place. That is not my task."

"I can't stand this." I clenched my hands into fists, my wrist throbbing and aching. "I'm lost and I don't know what to do."

"If you cannot function then why do you stay?" Sten asked. I darkly chuckled and looked back.

"I have nowhere else to go. Even if I do go, most likely I'll end up going insane. I don't want that either." I played with the notion of the Tal-Vashoth, the True Grey Ones and how they go insane with their new freedom. Something glinted in Sten's eye.

"Come. If nothing else, I can help you regain your aqun." Sten said, turning away and walking away.

"My what?" I wondered, following him.

"Your balance of self."

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku!**

 **Another dark chapter, very sorry guys but the next one won't be as dark. Maybe.**

 **Thank you Chimera Spyke and Syutaku for reviewing!**

 **Guest:** _I'm glad you liked Eren enough to ship my character with him but as I replied on reviews before, Eren and Nia will NOT get together. She won't get together with anyone until Inquisition and I've also planned that romance. So any shipping until then will sink. :3_


	59. Hope

9:30 Guardian 12th

I followed Sten wordlessly as he led me out of Soldier's Peak and into the caves. I saw Eren give me a worried glance when he looked at my bloody wrist and hand but I shook my head. Sten led me away and we followed the torches until he took a turn where the torches didn't light. I stopped as Sten walked into the darkness. The innate fear of spiders was still there but I couldn't leave Sten waiting. I followed as well. I couldn't see and the only thing I could rely on were the sound of Sten's footsteps. They stopped and I bumped into Sten.

"We will now reach aqun here." Sten said.

"In the middle of a frigging, dark as hell cave?" I exclaimed.

"Yes." Sten said. I could barely even make out his image. I heard rustling and I could tell he sat down into a meditation pose. I followed suit. I had nothing else to do.

"So I'm guessing doing this in a cave will somehow give me a reason to give a f-"

"No."

"…So we're just going to sit in a frigging dark cave."

"If that is how you interpret it, then yes."

I pouted but I could barely make out Sten closing his eyes. I did the same. This was the same thing as breathing in and out, letting your mind empty and all that jazz. It kinda irritated me. I was pretty sure that this wasn't going to fix me.

"You are letting your mind wander."

"I can't help it. I keep on thinking."

"You should not."

"It isn't something I can just turn off. I've had a hell of a week. Dying does that to you, you know?"

"Then you are letting your emotions answer for you. You must find a clear path as to what you are. Only then can you find your balance. Unless you want to remain the way you are. You humans seem to let your uncontrollable desires and wants control you."

"I'm getting the feeling that wasn't a compliment."

"It wasn't." Sten huffed. "What you are is not something that can be found. You must look as to what you can provide and what you excel at to understand your importance to the group. Find it and, perhaps, you may find an answer to your question of purpose."

Sten was helping me in his own way. Either he cared or he just doesn't want me to be a burden. Either way, it was something that I could do. I would rather do this than wait around until my dark mind festers.

It was tough sitting cross legged on uncomfortable ground but the act of breathing was calming me down. Little by little, I started to think about the Qunari philosophy. Everything had a place. Everyone had something to offer. Even those with their broken minds can still help. It wasn't the perfect society. It still had its flaws even though it touted to be perfect but I can understand where they were coming from.

A rock going against the tide will eventually be worn down into sand. There was no point in fighting the inevitable. Everything that is, must be. I started to become introspective. I put my problems into a pile and started to look at them bit by bit. I had to stop and use my mind instead of just flying off by my own darker mind.

First thing was first: How to get home. Halo said I had to wait. How long? I don't know. Instead of wallowing over it, I should let myself be taken in. Why fight against the story when I'm already a part of it? Sure I can hunker down in a city or go traveling but unfortunately I can't leave things be. It's the reason why I was still here in the first place. I'm not the person to go abandoning everything. I wasn't that selfish. I still had my ring. I still had my memories. I also still had my life so I got that going for me there.

Ok, that was on thing down. That wasn't so bad. Now to tackle my anger. My anger stems from guilt. Guilt for the indecision and illogical anger shifted from that guilt to Eren. Logically, it wasn't his fault but, as all humans are selfish, even I'm selfish. I didn't want to put all that blame on myself so I put it on Eren. It was easy to blame him. His life was the reason I was here…but I made that decision to save him. I saved him and Oren even if he was a jerk. Still kinda is though.

I wasn't able to sacrifice anyone and now I can't. At least that option is now scrapped from the table. Now I can work toward a future where I don't have to sacrifice anyone. As long as Halo becomes powerful, I may be able to at least secure a foothold of myself in this world. If that's the case, everyone won't die. It wasn't Eren's fault but it wasn't mine either. I didn't know that I had to make that decision before Soldier's Peak. Flemeth never told me 'when' it was bound to happen only that it 'was.' It's like telling someone they're going to be murdered eventually but not when. It wasn't their fault they got killed even if they were being careful. Ok I think that metaphor got away from me but it does the trick.

Being angry at Eren was stupid. I'm only blaming him because it was easy. There was no grudge to be placed on him when he didn't even know what he was doing. He even thanked me for not sacrificing him and Oren. It still hurt though but being angry wasn't the solution. So stop being so stupid. Stupid me isn't going to solve everything. I'll tell Eren the whole truth so that he could finally understand. I hope that doesn't come to bite me in the ass.

I breathed in and out again. Systematically going through my emotions and tearing them down to their roots so that I can see what the true problem was. Louis would have been proud of me.

The only thing that was causing trouble was my depression. It was one hell of a mental disease. Dopamine, I think that is what it was, was the chemical that caused you to feel happy. Depression is the lack of that chemical causing a reaction that makes you undergo depression. It is a chemical imbalance yet, at the same time, also a battle of wills. Taking chemicals can help, therapy also helps, having your family help you makes a tremendous difference. Everything that I don't have basically. It can come in spurts and it varies from day to day. It wasn't something that goes away so easily. It helps to have a goal though. Short term goals can help you from a day to day basis.

Long term goal: Getting back home. Short team goal: Getting back on my feet. If there was one thing I hated was being a burden and being useless. I was being both at this point. Breathe in and out. I had to focus. I can't get derailed. Some days are going to be difficult but if I can depend on others, it won't be as hard. I can't afford to be this way especially with the state of the world. The Archdemon won't wait for me to get out of my funk.

And so just like that one person said in that one movie, it's time to nut up or shut up. For now, my depression is not going to go away for a minute. It took me nine months last time before I was able to actually feel normal. Let's see how long this time will take.

What's my purpose? To go home. What am I? For now, a warrior. Who am I?

Well, I'm me. Imperfect as they come but at least I'm not running away.

"Have you found your answer?" Sten asked.

"Yes I have."

"And that is?"

"I'm a warrior that's going to help stop the Archdemon and find a way back home." I announced. I exhaled for a long time before I felt a rise of emotion. Hope was hard to kill.

"Good then let us be off." Sten got up.

"Wait. I'm going to need help."

"Why?"

"…I haven't been able to feel my butt or legs for probably the past half hour."

Sten groaned as he lifted me up and draped me over his shoulder like a sack of flour. It was kinda fun. Sten was a good man. I can see why he became the Arishok. We eventually exited the cave with the others looking wide eyed at the fact that Sten was carrying me. Wynne got all up in a bunch when she saw my wrist again. She healed my hand but didn't heal my wrist so I could learn my lesson. I swore that I wouldn't do it again.

After that, I helped gather supplies into our packs. We would be leaving tomorrow once Mikhael was done forging Eren a new sword. Sophia destroyed his family sword. Eren found metal in a crater. Starfang I'm betting on.

Zevran and I hung out as we gathered everything. Alfred was very interested in my wrist but I petted him and threw him a stick a few times to calm him down. Zevran asked about it. I told him I got low again. He allowed me to hug him for a long time again. Derek whistled and I gave him the finger.

The day was over. Tomorrow was a new day.

9:30 Guardian 13th

I got up in the early morning when everyone was asleep to go meditate outside. I found a dry patch near the forge and sat down, making sure that I sat comfortably to not cause my legs to sleep again. The stars were beautiful and the moons were half full. Today I can say that I was a good 50%, not yet there but not low enough to search for something to hurt myself.

I stayed like that until I noticed the sun slowly rising. It hit Soldier's Peak before coming down in a beautiful ray of orange and yellow. I could see colors. That was a step in the right direction. I got up and stretched. Today was the day we would be heading out. I heard the horses stamp their feet and I went towards the stable. I kept myself at a distance. Horses were finicky creatures. I made sure not to look at them in the eyes either.

"Ah you're already up?" Derek came by.

"Been up for probably an hour now." I said.

"Good, you can help me set up Lily to go through the caves with us." Derek explained.

"Wait what?" I wondered.

"Levi says that he's going to stick around here. He gave us his horse and wagon. Better than walking everywhere. Gives us some resting time and a place to sleep, it's great!" Derek laughed.

"But it's winter. How's Lily going to eat?" I wondered.

"Not to worry about it! We got some grain in from Amaranthine so she'll be good. As soon as we reach Redcliffe, I'm sure they'll have some stock for us." Derek said, going into the stables and putting the reigns on Lily.

"So we really are going to Redcliffe then." I sighed.

"Did you want to go somewhere else?" Derek asked.

"No, not really. What do you need me to do?" I asked.

"Light a torch. I know we've got a path through the caves but Lily still gets spooked by the darkness. As long as we have someone in front with it, she won't be as scared." Derek explained. I nodded. Derek showed me where the torches are and we lit one. He had Lily by the reigns and I led them toward the caves. I moved slowly as our footsteps and the horses hooves echoed in the caves. I was following the torches out, slightly shaking because of fear of spiders.

"You've changed missy." Derek said.

"How so?" I wondered.

"I know the look you have. Many in Dust Town had that same lifeless look you had. We find them often you know? Bodies. You don't need someone else to do that job. One person and done." Derek explained. My grip on the torch became tighter.

"I lost my family twice. I visited them, only for a day. Now I don't even know when I'm going home. I'm trying though." I said.

"That's where the difference comes in. Ah, I know how it feels not being able to see your family. It's been almost 3 years since I've seen my baby sister. I can't even contact her either. There's no mail to be delivered for casteless." Derek laughed sadly.

"But you're a Grey Warden now. You can go back and see her anytime, well once the Blight is over anyway. I don't have that same luxury." I shot back.

"Missy…is it really true you're not from this world?" Derek asked. I turned and he regarded me with a serious expression.

"I've said it already. If you don't believe me that's your own decision but I know the truth. I'm not from here and I don't belong here either." I ended it at that and kept on walking.

"I've seen a lot of shit go on in my day and there's still tons of things that's being discovered everyday. Ancestors, we even got dragons again! For what it's worth, I believe you. You're not like the rest of us but don't go around saying you don't belong here either missy. For one, I think you're a valued member of our team. Don't go around saying you don't belong. I bet that a few would be sad if you ever left." Derek sighed.

We stopped talking after that. I led him out of the cave and breathed the chill air deeply. Derek took the torch and led the horse toward a clearing. The wagon was covered and hidden. He tied up the horse and nodded.

"That should be good. Lily is all set with the wagon. Time to gather everyone up and head onto Redcliffe." Derek exhaled happily.

"You'll see your sister again." I said. Derek laughed.

"That will be a sight for sore eyes." Derek grinned. We walked back through the cave and I saw Mikhael sharpening a glistening sword. Derek even whistled.

"Wow, that looks pretty." I mentioned.

"Ay, now to kick some asses into gear!" Derek guffawed. I shook my head at his antics. I went to the packs that we made yesterday and started to bring them through the cave. The snow wasn't as high as I thought it would be and I wondered if it was going to be a short winter. Groundhog day anyone?

When I went back to get some more I noticed that Eren was giving his new sword a few swings. Alistair came up and they both had their warden gear on. It was odd seeing it so early in this story. I guess I can't really say anything considering that I was going to wear it too. I went back inside as everyone was gathering everything. I changed into my new armor and strapped in my daggers. I sighed. I was going to fight again and I won't have Halo. I felt strangely naked.

"How are you feeling?" Zevran came up.

"Weird." I said. Zevran chuckled and we both went out. This was going to be a dark point in my memories but it was something I had to live with. There wasn't much small talk as we got everything together. I thanked Levi and his brother for everything they did for us and all of us went through the cave.

"I can't believe we're going back to Redcliffe! Unfortunately we're going to be visiting in winter. It's not as green." Alistair sighed.

"It's not going to be winter forever. Spring is going to come and no Ferelden is not entirely brown." I chuckled.

"You have only seen a part of Ferelden. I am sure we are going to find mud fill holes that smell like dog." Zevran said.

"That is not something that I am looking forward to." Sten grumbled.

"I can't wait for spring. I hope to find a specific flower." Leliana sighed wistfully. I saw Talen stare and rub his chin.

"Truly? What is this idea that all women want an item that will eventually wither and dry?" Morrigan scoffed.

"Not everyone is like you. I just want a warmer climate." I replied.

"Or at least more hunting game." Eren mentioned. Alfred barked.

"Well we can list off all the wants that we have in this world but now we have Bann to visit." Wynne said. She got in the wagon followed by Eren, Morrigan, and Alistair. The rest of us were walking. Derek whipped at Lily's reigns and we set off one more time. I wasn't at 100% and I wasn't sure when I'd be back there.

I had two legs though so I had to get up and start walking.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku!**

 **I am so sorry everyone for such a late update. My health went through a nose dive now that BABY number 3 has come. This pregnancy is not a good one, headaches, insomnia, and constant state of queasiness has left me extreme exhausted both physically and mentally. I will be taking a month long break until I break through the first trimester and finally can get back on my feet again. In the meantime, now that we're getting closer to 200 reviews, I will remind everyone that whoever gets THE 200TH REVIEW gets a spoiler for my Inquisition story for the future!**

 **Shout out to SoulAndMakaLover, DoomBug (Welcome back!), and NPC200 for favoriting/following! Thank you Chimera Spyke and Syutaku for reviewing! Please Review!**


	60. Traveling part 4

9:30 Guardian 14th

We passed by on the main road without much of a fuss. Yesterday it was all quiet. No one was really talking. For me it was fine considering that I still had a lot to think about from Soldier's Peak. I was at a good 60% right now. I had a light in my step and I played with Alfred. I either chased him down through the snow or I threw sticks at him. He never seemed to get the right one. One time he brought me some dirty pantaloons. That was weird heh.

"All this walking without talking is making me bored." I stretched, my armor clanking as I did.

"I agree. We're all so serious, perhaps a tune or a melody?" Zevran said.

"I do know of a few songs and some chantry hymns." Leliana offered. Wynne, Morrigan, Talen, and Alistair were in the wagon with Eren directing the horse. Alfred, Sten, Leliana, Zevran, Derek, and I were all walking.

"Nah, let's not sing. Why not play a word game of sorts?" Derek wondered.

"Well we could play I Spy but all I see are dead trees, snow, the sky, clouds, and more snow." I said deadpan.

"There is nothing we can do until we meet our destination." Sten said.

"Ever the straight man Sten." Zevran chuckled. "How are you feeling?" Zevran glanced at me

"Not bad." I shrugged. "We're getting to our next step in our journey so that's one thing."

"Once we have secured Arl Eamon's alliance, our travels won't be as hazardous. We will have someone with weight to our side." Leliana said.

"Don't be so sure about that. Loghain is still acting as if he was King. Until we get him off that seat, then there's nothing we can do to make our travels safe. So far we haven't had trouble with darkspawn for a while but, once spring hits, that's going to change. We'll be hit by assassins too though I'm pretty sure that none of them are going to be as bad as Zevran." I mentioned.

"Excuse me?" Zevran looked at me and Leliana giggled.

"You have to admit elf that your ambush wasn't that good." Derek guffawed.

"Well it wasn't my day." Zevran cleared his throat.

"It would have been better should you have not announced your intentions and had that woman act more as a diversion as you ambushed us from behind." Sten explained.

"That would have been better, I agree." Zevran mumbled.

"Struck down by someone who isn't an assassin, how sad." I smirked. Zevran pouted while Leliana and Derek laughed at him.

9:30 Guardian 15th

We reached the outskirts of Lake Calenhad by nightfall. I was able to get a glimpse of the tower through the heavy clouds. It seems we were going to have some snow later. Derek was tending to the horse while everyone was getting dinner ready. Leliana and Alfred hunted down a fox and a rabbit. I have grown more contemplative since our time at Soldier's Peak. It was hard not to. I kept on replaying the day I spent with my family and about the consequences about what I did.

I don't regret it and, every day that I see that Eren is alive and well, slowed down my anger. It was a good sign that I was getting over it. I had to make sure that I wasn't suppressing anything. Holding onto any emotions was bad. Meditating helped. I had found Sten earlier that morning. Neither of us said anything though I wasn't going to take off my shirt like Sten did his. I always knew that Qunari had a rough time during the cold but Jesus Sten put on a shirt!

I had wandered off from the team to the shore of Lake Calenhad. Being a large body of water, it still held its liquid state though frozen bits clung to the dirt. I took a deep breath of the chilling air that seemed to stab my insides. I stared at the night sky. I only saw the milky way once back in my own world. They also had one though not as prominent. Instead, their two moons were extremely beautiful. I heard footsteps behind me and I looked at Eren who seemed to look hesitant.

"I saw you wander off. Are you alright?" Eren asked.

"I'm not going to throw myself in Lake Calenhad if that's what you're thinking. Besides, freezing to death is a bad way to go unless I found a way to sleep in the water." I mentioned.

"That is not a good joke." Eren chastised me.

"Yeah I know. Just a random fact really. It's strange. I died but I can't remember anything. Sometimes when I strain my mind, my chest starts to hurt really bad." I said, absentmindedly rubbing my upper chest. Eren fidgeted with his armor. I stared at him. "Something stabbed me, didn't it?"

"That…" Eren exhaled sharply. "The abomination thrusted its arm through your chest. You took it off as it got destroyed in the battle. I was careless. I should have-" Eren started.

"Shut up." I said. Eren scoffed. "What happened, happened. We can't change the past so we have to look forward. At least I know now. Truthfully I don't think I'm going to get those memories back but know I have something to put in that blank spot."

"You are taking this information quiet well." Eren cleared his throat.

"I already went through my phase in Soldier's Peak and that was that." I sighed. "I won't lie though when I say that it's going to take a while for my mind to get where it was before. Things have changed and I still have a lot to think about." I rubbed my hands together to warm them up. "But that's my problem, not yours."

"You can still lean on me if you need to." Eren said. We caught each other's eyes. Is it that weird that I can read his emotions? Put it plainly, he wasn't still over me.

"No. You have enough on your plate with this bunch. You can't focus on me Eren. You have to see the bigger picture. You're our leader and you're carrying us to defeating the Archdemon. Focus on that, not on me." I said.

"What a logical answer." Eren rolled his eyes.

"How many times am I going to have to reject you for you to accept it?" I hummed. Eren looked like I had struck him. "It's getting cold and I'm sure the food should be done now." I said, heading back to the camp.

"It's not like I asked for these feelings." I heard Eren say.

"But you can at least control them. I love my husband." I rubbed my ring. "That won't change, so since easy isn't working, then I'm going to go in hard." I turned back and I saw Eren waiting expectantly. "There will never be a time when my feelings will go further than simple comradery. I don't love you romantically Eren and I never will. You are a special friend and like a brother to me. Granted a brother I didn't want but the point is, this," I pointed to me and him, "Is not going to happen. That's the last time I'm saying that so please adult like you're supposed to and move on."

"You are so crass, disrespectful, and rude." Eren glared.

"You forced me into this position. If there's anyone to blame for how you're feeling now, just look at yourself." I shot back. "I'm not here to coddle you Eren so that's that." I said, turning away and going up to the camp. I could have probably handled it better but there are times when you just have to put your foot down. Eren wasn't going to see past his rose-colored glasses that he wore around me. It was time to shatter that image.

Back in the day I never had to courage to put my food down on persistent guys. Usually it always turned out worse. Eren had to leave those emotions behind. He had greater things to worry about it. I sat down near the fire and put my hands near it. Leliana gave me a bowl and I ate.

"I used some of your spices in case you found some of it depleted." Leliana said.

"It makes for a better stew." I said, eating slowly. I had to remember as we travel, food like this wasn't going to drop from the sky. I had to savor every last bit. Eren came and silently took his food away from the camp. I saw Morrigan call him over to her camp. Her golden eyes caught my dark brown ones. She smirked. I saw Wynne's scrunched face and Zevran's knowing smile. Well, everyone needs an escape.

9:30 Guardian 16th

I had a nightmare. It was a cruel one. An offer to get to be with my family but my mind was hazy. I was barely able to even make out their silhouettes before I felt a cold stone in my stomach. As I reached my hand out, I bit my lip as hard as I could. The haze flittered away and I stumbled to the ground. It was the place that Halo had made for me but the grass was gone and it was the usual ground of the fade. The blue sky faded in and out from greens. I glared up and clenched my teeth. A desire demon stood before me.

"You know, if you wanted to actually get me to agree to your offer, you need to paint a prettier picture." I got up and patted my hands from the dirt. The desire demon smirked.

"Irregularity. Such a pleasure to meet you." It purred.

"Yeah, yeah, you and so many others now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to go wake up now." I said, going into the direction where the cabin was and the thing floated in front of me again. They giggled.

"You are quiet rude to not greet me properly human." The desire demon growled.

"I know what you want. You want to possess me like so many others want to but I'm not going to let you. Either way, you won't kill me because that would get rid of your chance of taking over my body. Now that we have ended this, I really want to go back to the waking world." I said, sidestepping it and walking again.

"I have the power to grant you what you want. What you most desire." It purred and I heard the happy voices of my family right behind me. I swallowed my despair and kept on walking. "You will break." I heard it whisper in my ear before my eyes flew open and I saw the linen cloth of the tent I was in. The shallow breaths of Leliana and Wynne were steady as I stared out and tears began to leak out.

"Demons think they can own anyone, don't they?" I whispered to myself. I couldn't sleep after that and I shifted to where I could see Wynne. I remember how much I disliked her when I first played. The old know it all but then she began to grow on me, especially after I found out about her 'condition.' It was similar to my own but even she doesn't have the answers to Halo. Halo and the spirits of the fade were vastly different. I miss Halo.

I felt rustling behind me and shifted on my other side. Leliana opened her eyes and rubbed them. She blinked a few times before smiling at me. I got to say, having to see this sight in the morning wasn't that bad.

"You were crying again." She stated. I nodded.

"Bad nightmare." I sighed. She put her hand on my cheek.

"You are strong and I know you won't fall." Leliana whispered. My face heated up before I looked away and nodded. "But since we are both awake, we might as well get ready."

"But it's so warm here." I pouted. Leliana giggled.

"It is isn't it? But we are close to Redcliffe. We should be arriving by afternoon tomorrow." Leliana snuggled closer to me.

"Ok, time to get up!" I harshly whispered and got out of the tent. I saw Zevran reading the Antivan book along with Talen who looked about to sleep sitting up.

"Ah! A very good morning to you!" Zevran winked. I rolled my eyes before the fire suddenly flared and then died down. Leliana gave me a questioning glance as she stood next to me and Talen was looking away. Then I realized it.

"Um Leliana? Your shirt has a hole in it." I said. It was directly underneath her boob. Under boob anyone?

"Good morning indeed." Zevran lecherously chuckled before Talen got up and stood in front of Leliana.

"Stop staring!" Talen's ears were extremely red. Leliana giggled and I face palmed. I walked over from Talen and Leliana before flicking Zevran on the forehead.

"Go get changed Leliana." I said over my shoulder before Zevran gave me his winning smile.

"Jealous?" He raised an eyebrow.

"As if. Truthfully I'm more jealous of Leliana." I sat down next to him as Talen went to wake the others up while Leliana went back to change inside the tent.

"Why exactly?" Zevran wondered, taking out some jerky from his pack.

"She's endowed with more tracks…" I motioned my hands to my boobs. "Of land, if you get my drift and she's a beautiful redhead." I sighed wistfully.

"Do not tell me you are…" Zevran let it hang.

"I'm what? Flat chested? Short? A good cook? Which is not that true, I like making pastries more than food." I rambled.

"Attracted." Zevran cleared his throat as everyone started to groan with waking up.

"What? I can't say that another woman is beautiful without having someone guess my sexuality? And for your information, yes." I took his jerky from his hand as he gaped and ate it with a smirk.

"That will keep me up at night." Zevran mumbled before I pushed him from the log and into the snow.

"Take a cold one." I chuckled. We all gathered up our belongings and went ahead toward the last leg of our journey. The day was slightly windy and I was feeling it as we walked. Wynne was with us this time with Alistair and Talen. Alistair was rambling about Redcliffe and all the sights he was going to show us.

"Now the best view is definitely from the windmill. It sits at the highest point where you can overlook the entire village and get a great view of the castle! Did you know that Redcliffe Castle is deemed one of the most impenetrable fortresses in Ferelden?" Alistair explained.

"That's the fourth time you said that dear." Wynne laughed.

"Maker's balls Alistair, you've just been raving about Redcliffe on and on, can't we talk about something different?" Talen groaned.

"Perhaps we shall talk about your blaspheming young man?" Wynne gave him a hard stare.

"Everyone does it Wynne and it helps for stress and pain." I mentioned.

"Don't encourage it." Wynne shook her head.

"Just speaking from experience." I shrugged. "Whenever I get hit or get scared, I curse and it helps me."

Alistair and Talen then stopped. Wynne and I took that as a sign that darkspawn were near. I took out my daggers and everyone else got their weapons. Eren got out of the wagon and everyone gathered.

"They're up ahead." Talen mentioned. Eren nodded.

"Sten, Alfred, Leliana, and Alistair, stay with the wagon. The rest of you, follow me." Eren lead the way as Zevran and I took our positions near Wynne and Talen. The trail moved away from the lake earlier on. Instead, we were walking through a few cliffs. Eren and Talen walked as I turned a corner from the trail. There were a few darkspawn on the cliff above, taking the advantage of the higher altitude. Though it didn't really defend from Talen's automatic fireball. They scattered while Hurlocks came down the sides toward us.

Derek roared and bulldozed through three of them while Eren and I took down the ones that were on the ground. Zevran weaved through to get to one of their crossbow archers. Wynne made sure to keep her barriers on us. Morrigan transformed into her wasp form and went for the Alpha brushing off the fire. Eren and I got up to the cliff and I tripped a Hurlock over the edge into Derek who quickly splattered him. Morrigan reformed next to Wynne.

We surrounded a Hurlock Alpha. Eren had his shield and sword in front, I was behind him at a crouch and Zevran was right behind. The Alpha growled as it twirled its double handed axe and walked toward Eren before a paralysis glyph appeared at its feet. "Now!" Eren shouted as he rammed his sword through the darkspawn. Zevran stabbed his daggers at the neck from behind. As the paralysis faded and the Alpha stumbled, I tackled it toward the edge. Talen gave the last bunch of bodies another fireball.

"There are no more." Eren flicked the blood off his blade before returning it back to its sheath. He did a loud whistle and I heard a bark in the distance. Talen, Wynne, and Morrigan made their way up to the cliff. I saw Wynne struggling. I was about to go down and help her before she stumbled to the ground.

"Wynne." Talen went to her side and I ran over. Eren glared before Wynne got back to her knees and rubbed her face.

"Oh, for a moment there, I thought it was all over." Wynne mumbled.

"Wynne?" I wondered.

"I am sorry…" Wynne groaned as Talen helped her up.

"Did a darkspawn get to you?" Eren wondered, keeping a hand on his sword.

"No, nothing like that but…there is something that I must explain. Not now though, please, we need to keep moving." Wynne sighed. I knew what was going to happen later. Leliana was leading Lily by her reigns. Talen, Wynne, and Derek were in the wagon. The rest of us were walking. Hopefully with Wynne telling everyone about her 'condition' might make them soften around good spirits. Well, one can dream right?

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku**

 **I'm back guys! That month rest really did me wonders. I'm past the danger zone, the queasiness has stopped, and tynelol pm works good with my insomnia so, although i'm not 100%, I'm getting better. Sorry for the filler guys but by next chapter we should be at Redcliffe!**

 **Shout out to SacredSamurai, thedjpro, zansatsusha, NecromancersPrincess, and Arabejila for following/favoriting! Thank you Chimera Spyke, Syutaku, and NecromancersPrincess for reviewing!**

 **Enna:** _There are different kinds of horses, show horses, riding horses, and work horses. Work horses are sturdier, robust, and can heft a lot of weight. Lily is one of these and, so long as Derek takes care of her hooves and grooming and feeding and giving her rest, she should be fine pulling the wagon. You should look up the clivesdale horses, at least I think that's how you spell it._  
 **Narliea:** _Hey I recognize you! xD I'm glad you're enjoying the rewrite. Just trying to polish my old story as well as filling in some major plotholes that came with the original. :3_

 **Please Review! The one that gets the 200th review gets a spoiler free question for my Inquisition story. Be sure to word it carefully, if you ask me a yes or no question, you will get a yes or no answer. :)**


	61. Redcliffe

9:30 Guardian 16th

We were surrounded by the forest in the Hinterlands, getting closer to Redcliffe. By tomorrow, we should already be there. We settled in a cave as it started to snow. Morrigan used her magic to cover the entrance with vines., keeping herself close to the entrance with Flemeth's grimoire. The fire was cooking pieces of a ram that Alfred manage to wound and Derek killed. He was outside busy smoking the meat that was left over while we ate some of the offal. I might have to resupply on my seasonings once we get to Redcliffe.

Of course, during all of this preparation of our food, Wynne was fidgeting with her robe or staff, on constant alert. Tonight was the night that she was going to tell us about her own spirit friend. We all sat around eating cooked liver along with dried fruit. Can't have your meat without something else to provide you with some vitamins. We all settled comfortably with Sten far from our group with Alfred keeping him company. Derek came in, his beard all frosty from the snowing outside and took some meat for himself.

"So, what's this thing you have to tell us?" Derek broke the ice. Wynne swallowed her food and sighed.

"I knew this would come sooner rather than later. I must admit this is…hard for me to explain." Wynne's eyes floated to me and I gave her a confident nod. "Back in the Circle, when it was being overrun, I was protecting the apprentices from demon's. I had shielded Petra from an attack and used the last of my magic in that moment and…I died." Wynne started to explain.

"Well I have to say this is the slowest account of death I've seen." Talen deadpanned.

"Let me explain. Ever since I was a young girl, I have felt a presence with me in the fade. I felt that it was curious about me. I began to notice it helping me, giving me strength when I needed it and even protecting me. When I felt myself slipping, it reached out to me. When I started to come to, I was back in the Tower and how painfully the cold stone floor felt against my hip." She said.

"So it's a similar experience to Nia's then." Eren mentioned.

"I noticed it as soon as she touched me." I shrugged. Wynne nodded.

"The power of the spirit is giving me life and I don't know how long I have left." Wynne looked down.

"Don't say that. You're still very sprite for your age." Alistair said.

"And extremely beautiful." Zevran winked. Wynne thanked Alistair but glared at Zevran.

"Every day I feel the spirit slipping and I know that my day will coming. That is inevitable." Wynne said.

"If it's like that, why didn't you stay in the tower?" Eren asked.

"I am not one to sit on my laurels, afraid to die. If my spirit chose to have me continue my life, then I will do so by doing whatever I can to help others. It's the main reason why I chose to join you Grey Wardens. I cannot sit by while the Darkspawn try to destroy Ferelden. Until the day comes when I am taken to the Maker, I will do whatever I can to help you." Wynne nodded solemnly. The fire was the only thing I could hear as everyone digested this new information.

"At least I'm not alone in my experiences. I've got your back Wynne." I said.

"Thank you." Wynne smiled.

"All this talk of spirits makes me wonder, why did they chose both of you?" Talen wondered.

"Mine was sent to me." I said.

"And mine chose me." Wynne smiled.

"Either way, as much as Chantry says that all spirits are demons, there are good ones out there. They just don't understand much about the real world and have no real need to come through." I shrugged.

"And you would know this because…?" Eren wondered.

"I know things." I smirked. Derek got a laugh about that which diffused the tension. It eventually devolved into small talk. Zevran was trying to weasel his way toward Wynne but she was having none of it. Leliana and I got into a talk about Chantry doctrine. We talked about the good points and the bad points about it. I explained that we as humans are flawed and, most likely, some of the scriptures must have been rewritten to suit other people's needs. Leliana wondered if the Maker has truly abandoned all of us and told me about her true vision. Once the GWs decided on who's going to be looking out for everyone, we decided to sleep early and ride out the snow.

9:30 Guardian ?

Events have happened that I'm not entirely happy about but…well I'm not the leader so I could only have my say in it.

We made our way down a trail that was supposed to lead us to the gates of Redcliffe. Alistair mumbled a few times, trying to guide Eren through the path from the forest. I was in the wagon along with Derek, Morrigan, and Zevran. I was at the last pages of my journal, trying to write as tiny as I could to fit as much as I could. I forgot to ask Levi if he had an empty journal.

"And there you are, writing again. How are you able to even keep a steady hand?" Zevran asked.

"I'm used to it." I shrugged. Zevran tried to look over and sneak a peek but I held it away from him. "You don't get to look."

"You are so secretive. Are you writing all of your opinions of the group? Perhaps a strong desire towards me?" Zevran purred. I rolled my eyes and Morrigan scoffed.

"I just write what's been happening, opinions have nothing to do with it." I gave a white lie. "And no, I don't desire you Zevran. You can get that out of your head because, as I said before, it's not happening."

"I will get through to you yet." Zevran chuckled, crossing his arms before there was a stop. This was the third time. I dropped my journal and came out. I saw Alistair rubbing his head as we found a fork in the road. Unfortunately, I couldn't recognize the surroundings so there was no way I could tell from anything.

"It could be this way…but then…this would be much easier if it didn't snow last night!" Alistair mumbled.

"Direction problems?" I asked Eren who was leading Lily.

"Apparently…" Eren rubbed his face.

"Look I got us this far but, well, there are things that have been…bothering me and I can't really explain it that well…" Alistair fidgeted.

"I know it's difficult to go back when you've completely disappointed the country-" Eren started.

"Oh yeah Eren, great voice of confidence there." I sarcastically said as I saw Alistair's face fall.

"But we need Eamon's support. Now, get your head out of the mud and start taking directive in leading us there. After all, you can't have forgotten where Redcliffe is. At any rate, Talen has a map in which we can follow if you're so incompetent." Eren snapped.

"Hey, that was completely uncalled for!" I yelled.

"We've been going in circles! At this point, I'm wondering if he's doing this on purpose." Eren scoffed.

"Actually…" Alistair laughed weakly.

"You have." Eren glared.

"What's going on? What's the hold up?" Talen came with the others in tow. Eren jumped off and patted Lily to keep her calm.

"Alistair, why?" I asked.

"That is…it's going to be so awkward when I see Isolde…" Alistair rubbed his face before standing upright. "I'm a bastard! My mother was a servant girl in the Royal Palace in Denerim and she died when I was born! Eamon took care of me before he sent me off to the Chantry. The reason was not because I was his bastard but…King Maric's bastard so that means that Cailan was my half-brother…" Alistair ranted.

It almost hurt to have him explain all of this to me considering that I knew the truth. That Duncan knew the truth. He would never learn and I always wondered if I should tell him what I knew. It would be…weird later on of course if he met Fiona. Even worse if he was made the King and he met her leading her forces into Tevinter arms. Would he believe me? I doubt it.

"So instead of being a normal bastard, you're a royal bastard?" I wondered.

"That's actually a good line, I'll have to use that some time." Alistair chuckled, the tension rolling off his back.

"And this is the information that caused you to lead us in a perpetual circle that made us lose valuable time? Only an idiot like you would even comprehend such a plan." Morrigan scoffed.

"Look the truth would have come out when we arrived in Redcliffe. I didn't feel comfortable with all of you learning it that way. I tried to keep this from you for as long as possible. Don't think it got me special treatment, either people stood clear from me or resented me for it." Alistair sighed.

"I understand wanting to keep something a secret to protect others." Wynne nodded.

"No one cares of your origins, only of what you can do." Sten said gruffily.

"What the big guy is trying to say," Derek came over and slapped Alistair in the back. He did a small 'eep' of pain, "Is that we don't give a nug's ass where you come from. You're a Grey Warden, you kill darkspawn, that's all that matters." Derek guffawed. I sneaked over to Eren and kicked his shin. He groaned in pain.

"What was that for?" He moaned in pain.

"Go apologize for being a dick. This really caused him some grief and I don't need your attitude to make him feel worse." I crossed my arms. Eren groaned really loudly and went over to Alistair. He patted him on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry for what I said, can you show us the way now?" Eren grumbled.

"Of course! Sorry for the hold up everyone!" Alistair said. Everyone went to their spots but I stayed right next to Alistair as he started to lead us to Redcliffe.

"Seems like it's been secret sharing for a while now." I chuckled.

"I guess…I never thought that everyone would be so…accepting." Alistair gave me a small smile.

"When you're up against monsters that don't really die so easily, we need all the help we can get. Either way, being a bastard isn't so bad." I shrugged. "I didn't get married to my husband when we had our first two kids so 'technically' they were bastards. Of course, we made it official later." I hand waved it. Alistair chuckled.

"I'm pretty sure Isolde is not going to be happy when I get there." Alistair sighed.

"Who's Isolde?" I asked.

"Arl Eamon's wife. It was a big controversy. She was Orlesian and he married her soon after the civil war but they were very much in love. The only problem, however, was that she saw me as HIS bastard. He never did anything to dissuade the rumors either. Don't think I led a pampered life, I slept in the stables with the horses but he did give me a good life. I doubt many would accept another man's bastard." Alistair sighed. "I did him wrong. I wonder if he has forgiven me."

"What happened?" I wondered.

"When Isolde couldn't take the rumors anymore is when he shipped me off to the monastery at age 10. I was furious at him and I took my mother's amulet and threw it at him. It shattered against the wall. Stupid…" Alistair shook his head. "Even after how angry I was, Eamon came to visit me but I never gave him the chance to talk. Eventually he stopped coming. I wonder how he's going to react when he sees me." Alistair looked down.

"He's going to be proud, I'm sure of it." I nodded.

"I hope but now that we've talked about our feelings you can still think of me as some unlucky fellow that didn't die with the rest of the Grey Wardens." Alistair chuckled.

"I think you're a great guy Alistair and I'm pretty sure that a few others think that too." I replied.

"Aww quit it you! You're going to make me blush." Alistair chuckled sheepishly. We had a good walk after that and we ended up at a destroyed gate. Alistair gave me a worried look while power walking. We reached a bridge that would take us into the village proper but we were stopped by a man that was wearing furs for warmth and a shoddy bow.

"Thank Andraste for your coming Ser. I thought I saw travelers down the road. Please tell me that you've come to help." The man looked gaunt with severe circles under his eyes.

"What do you mean 'help?'" Eren wondered.

"What's going on here?" Alistair asked.

"Wait, you don't know what's going on in Redcliffe?!" The guard started to panic. I saw Derek come up and give a comforting pat to the guy's arm

"We may not know your situation but tell us anyway." Derek said. The guy nodded.

"Of course…Maker, Redcliffe Village has been under attack for the last few nights. We have been fighting and dying!" The man explained.

"What!? What's been attacking you?" Alistair asked.

"We don't rightly know! Bann Teagan knows more about the situation more. I could take you to him if you agree to help us." The man explained.

"Exactly why should we waste our time with a village that is about to perish anyway? Our business is with the Arl, not the village. We should put more precedence in continuing to the Castle." Morrigan explained. Eren rubbed his face.

"You're not seriously considering this." I glared.

"She does have a point." Eren mumbled.

"Oh is that right? Then let these people get massacred just like how we almost were at Castle Highever. See how that weighs on your conscious." I crossed my arms. Eren scowled deeply.

"I agree with the witch. We cannot have any more delays in reaching the Darkspawn." Sten said.

"Do you even realize what you're saying?" Wynne commented.

"Think of it this way big guy. An Archdemon is going to have an army right?" Derek asked. Sten nodded. "Then it's better if we went ahead and developed an army of our own. These people are going to be extremely grateful to us and will lend us a hand to defeat the Archdemon. Right now, we need to start small then get bigger the more allies we got. It's only strategy." Derek explained.

"I see." Sten grumbled.

"I do not." Morrigan scoffed.

"If you are not going to help then I suggest you stay where you are." Leliana glared.

"Please take us to the village." Eren deeply sighed. We started to follow the man and Morrigan stayed on the trail, stubborn in her refusal to help. She's not the picture of altruism of course but we can't leave these people to die either. No matter what playthrough I went through, I never left them without help.

We took the path down with Derek soothing Lily as she was hesitant to go anywhere near the village. They do say that animals have the ability to sense danger. Since she wasn't helping with the wagon attached, everyone was on foot. We came down to Redcliffe village and the only thing that was slightly different is that the Chantry really was situated more inland from the lake and more homes were not stilted above the water. This puts the Chantry at an advantage and disadvantage. We had a good view from the higher ground and can easily see enemies come in. The bad thing was there was only one way in and one way out. The small wooden barricades wouldn't be enough without sufficient men.

I saw approximately about 20 men, most wearing the flimsiest of armors I've seen. They were practicing with dummies and targets. Even with my short time in training, I could tell that most of these men weren't warriors. I'm pretty sure that none of these guys ever picked up a weapon until now.

We entered the Chantry that had elderly, children, and young woman all around. Soft cries echoed in the Chantry with the lower windows bordered up with planks of wood. There was a man at the end where the altar was. He was talking to another soldier before noticing our group.

"Tomas is it? Who are these people you have brought?" He asked. As soon as I heard his voice, I recognized Teagan. He had broad shoulders, a slightly gaunt face and sunken in eyes. This attack hasn't done wonders for him.

"These are travelers that have agreed to help us in our plight. I led them here to speak with you milord." Tomas bowed. Teagan grabbed his shoulder and nodded, a smile playing on his face.

"Thank you Tomas, you may go and return to your post." Teagan said and Tomas left. "There's not hospitality I can do for you besides a polite greeting. I am Bann Teagan of Rainesfere and brother to the Arl of Redcliffe." Teagan bowed.

"I'm not sure if you remembered me Bann Teagan. I was a lot younger when we first met and…covered in mud." Alistair laughed awkwardly.

"Covered in mud?" Teagan raised an eyebrow before staring at Alistair. Recognition passed through his face. "Alistair." He breathed out and pulled Alistair into a hug. "It is you! I knew you weren't dead, welcome back!" Alistair and Teagan laughed, patting each other's backs before separating.

"Yes, still alive, for the most part." Alistair chuckled. "We've had a few close calls, some because of Teryn Loghain." Alistair sideglanced to Zevran and he gave a shrug.

"Hmph. Teryn Loghain would like to say much about the Grey Wardens but it is all just slanderous lies. He has been trying to stop and silence anyone who doesn't believe the Grey Wardens betrayed the crown while feeding his dogma to those who would listen." Teagan gave a disgusted scoff and crossed his arms.

"So you don't believe what he's saying then." Talen stated.

"Of course not. He believed he made the right decision, deserting our King into the arms of those corrupted creatures, all the while spouting off how he saved all he could? That there was no other way to save Cailan?" Teagan shook his head, glaring at the floor. "These are the words of a desperate man but that isn't why you came. Alistair, are these your traveling compatriots?" Teagan asked.

"Yes. As well as more Grey Wardens. This is Talen from the Circle of Ferelden, Derek from Orzammar, and Eren of Highever." Alistair pointed them out.

"Eren Cousland?" Teagan wondered.

"Yes Bann Teagan. I remember my father taking me to come visit the Arl a few times. He spoke of you fondly." Eren's face softened at remembering Bryce.

"Yes. Bryce was a good man. I am sorry to hear about what happened to your family." Teagan said sincerely.

"He was but this is no time for reminiscing. How did the village end up in this state?" Eren asked. "We came to see Arl Eamon at first until your scout told us what was happening."

"Even if we weren't in this predicament, you wouldn't have been able to see Arl Eamon. He has been gravely ill." Teagan rubbed his face.

"I met Ser Donall at the Lothering Chantry. I never knew it was this serious." Alistair's face sunk.

"It grew worse as time went on. At first, they lessened the help, only letting those that were needed in the castle. As his illness started to get worse, the castle doors shut. We have been trying to reach anyone who was still in the castle and I even tried shouting at the walls but to no avail. Soon after, evil…monstrous figures stormed out of the castle. We have tried our best to push them back but with every attack we lose more people. We only have a handful of Templars and the men you saw outside with another few in the tavern. I believe tonight might be our last offense." Teagan explained somberly.

"So what sort of things have been attacking you? Demons? Abominations? Darkspawn?" Derek asked.

"Thank the Maker that it isn't darkspawn. No, the walking dead has been plaguing us every single night since the walls shut. They are notoriously hard to kill and hunger for the flesh of the living. Each night they come, kill, and their numbers only grow. I have sent missives to any passing caravan that would take them but I am not getting any help due to the civil war. You have no reason to help us but I beg you to lend your hand in stopping this." Teagan bowed.

"You don't need to ask. We came here prepared to help you so raise your head Bann Teagan and tell us what you need." Eren said. I don't think I've ever seen someone so relieved in my life when Teagan looked up and smiled.

* * *

 **Beta'd by Syutaku and FearaNightmare**

 **To think I was already done with the original by this point, heh. Well we have finally reached Redcliffe, another change from my original story. Instead of Orzammar, its Redcliffe and I think it suits it better this time around. Also I will be uploading a new story, not related to this one, because I apparently really like the challenge.**

 **Thank you Chimera Spyke for the review! Please review!**


	62. Preperation

9:30 Guardian ?

"As you can see the Chantry is filled with those that can't fight. Mostly elderly, children, and others that have no fighting ability." Teagan described. I looked around at all the small rooms. They were filled with those that he had described. It tug at my own heart strings watching their faces. I remember seeing the faces of children in war zones of my own world. Dirty faces with minor scratches and absolute no hope left inside of them. A child shouldn't have to experience something like this.

"We are training those that can be trained but we have lost many of our able fighters." Teagan rubbed his face.

"And those that are fighting capable are not enough." Sten mumbled.

"You're right but it is better to talk to Captain Murdock outside. He has been the one leading the soldier's." Tegan explained.

"We'll do our best Teagan, you're not alone." Alistair reassured him with a pat on the shoulder. Teagan nodded and the GWs, Sten, and Zevran went outside. Alfred stayed inside trying to lick anyone that was down. Wynne and Leliana were going room to room to talk to the survivors. It felt weird being inside a closed off Chantry. Usually incense would be smoking, chants would be heard, and there would be a solemn silence. The type of silence that only came from fervent believers but now…there was only the silence of death, grief, and deep despair.

Seeing the people's face, how tired they were, long streaks of tears coating nearly everyone's faces…It hurt to see them all like this. I felt someone run into me and it was a little girl followed by three younger children. They weren't like the adults who spent their time wallowing. It seemed that their eyes were clearer.

"I'm sorry for bumping into you ma'am." The girl said politely.

"It's fine. I'm in the way of your playtime right?" I smiled.

"Not really but I don't like just sitting down and praying. Are you here to defeat the bad men?" She asked.

"Yeah. You guys won't be holed up in the Chantry by tomorrow morning." I said reassuringly. She and the other kids smiled.

"Can you find my papa and mama?" A younger boy tugged at my hand.

"Daryl, the Mother already told you that your parents went to the Maker." The older girl pulled him away. He still looked at me expectantly. I knelt to their level.

"Have all of your parents been taken?" I asked.

"No." The older girl shook her head, still holding onto the hand of the tiny Daryl. "My mom worked at the Castle but I'm sure she's gone. My father is fighting though. He's fighting really hard." She put on a proud face. "Christine's mom is by the Mother but her dad was a guard and we found the little boy after the first night." The boy was behind the other girl Christine, not saying anything. "The Mother thinks he lost his voice due to troma."

"Do you mean trauma?" I asked. She nodded. "And what's your name?"

"Mallory. None of us want to pray but we can't go outside either so we walk around and try to solve the Chantry mysteries." Mallory said. She motioned to come closer and I did. She got really close to my ear. "I made up the mysteries so they can have fun." She pulled away and smiled.

"You're a good girl Mallory. Take care of everyone ok? Me and my friends are definitely going to make the attacks stop tonight." I said. The little boy with no name came up to me and hugged me.

"I know. You're strong, I can tell." Mallory giggled and pulled the boy away before the rest of the kids went off and started to play again.

"You gave those children hope." Leliana said behind me as I got up.

"As much as I could give them." I sighed. "What have you been doing?"

"Talking to everyone who was here and I found someone who I think we could help." Leliana nodded. I got up and followed Leliana. Wynne was right next to the Chantry doors and a young woman was huddled on the floor.

"Here name is Kaitlyn and she said that her brother ran out of the Chantry not too long ago, hoping to fight the undead that have been plaguing them." Wynne described. I looked at Kaitlyn who was still crying silently.

"We need to go look for him?" I asked.

"Yes. He is most likely at their home, next to the general market." Leliana described. We left and Alfred followed behind before quickly rejoining Eren. Alistair, Derek, and Sten were training the men that were on the training field. I saw that Talen and Zevran were at the Blacksmith's door. Talen looked calm and, from the way his mouth was moving, he was taking to the Blacksmith. Zevran looked bored though. Eren must be up at the windmill talking to the Templar.

We walked toward the houses that were held up by stilts in the water. Some houses were already broken apart and floating listlessly. There was a small pier that I saw that had boats and fishing nets. They did say that Redcliffe was a major fishing port. We walked on the small bridges and my weight cracked a few boards.

"Jesus, these attacks haven't done the village any good." I mentioned.

"These people have been living in fear for who knows how long. Imagine if we didn't stay to help them?" Leliana wondered.

"Then Redcliffe would eventually become a ghost town until it got better." I said, as I remembered reading the what-if scenario if you left the village on its own.

"Here, this must be their home." Wynne said, opening the door. We all went inside and it was definitely cramped. I couldn't imagine that a family of four lived here once or maybe even more. We looked through the small kitchen and went into the living room that had a large wooden dresser. We all heard a shuffle and a gasp. Leliana and I gave each other a smirk.

"Is there someone there?" I asked.

"Go away! This isn't your home! It's my home!" We heard the muffled shouting from the dresser. "I-I'll kick you out for trespassing!" I had a hard time stifling my chuckles.

"Young man, you come out of that dresser this instant." Wynne crossed her arms, letting her scolding teacher voice out.

"I…I….yes ma'am." The dresser opened and a small boy came out. He had puffy red eyes and his clothes were torn in various places. Bevin shuffled sheepishly. "Did my sister send you?"

"She was very worried for you." Leliana nodded.

"Well I'm not going back! I hate the Chantry! All they do is cry all day and do nothing! I'm not going to stay in there! I…I'll fight those evil things! I'll bring back mother, I'm no coward!" Bevin started to shout and puff out his chest.

"Then why were you hiding in the closet?" I wondered.

"I…I heard you coming and…I ran into the dresser." Bevin kicked the floor lightly. "I guess that wasn't very brave of me."

"So why did you come here instead of going to the Castle to fight the evil things?" I crossed my arms. Bevin coughed nervously.

"I-I can't say." He replied.

"Look, we can go around in circles all day and figure out why you were here little by little, but it's best if you tell us the truth. I'm not sure if you've heard this but me and my friends came here to save your village. We have 4 Grey Wardens, a few mages, a really big Qunari, an elf that's good with some knives, and this Chantry sister that can kick ass. So how about helping us out a little?" I wondered. Wynne shook her head while Leliana giggled at my explanation.

"I guess you can help us. You see, my grandfather used to be a famous dragon hunter and that my father told me that one day I would inherit that sword. I was thinking of using it to fight the bad guys." Bevin explained.

"A dragon hunter sword? That would be beneficial." Leliana hummed.

"I can't just give it to you though." Bevin said.

"Then I'll pay for it, how's that?" I said.

"Yes! Here is the key for the chest. It's in the upstairs bedroom. I hope you kill a lot of those things. I'll go back to the Chantry ok?" Bevin said, going past our group and out the door. I twirled the key around.

"Let's see that chest shall we?" I led them upstairs and saw a long chest propped against the wall. I unlocked it and found an extremely decorated sword. I took it and it felt warm to the touch. The designs on the hilt looked elven and Wynne took it from me.

"Here." She said and touched something underneath the hilt and the sword lit on fire.

"Whoa!" I instinctively backed away.

"A rune on the sword? How rare." Leliana awed.

"It would be best to give this to Alistair or Eren." Wynne said, touching the rune again and making the fire go out.

"You deliver it Wynne, I'm going out to explore the market. I have a gut feeling that there might be something there." I said. Wynne nodded and she left while Leliana followed me into the small store. Most perishables were gone and there were papers strewn all over the floor. It was completely deserted besides a few barrels in the stock room.

"What are you planning?" Leliana wondered.

"Just looking to see if we can use anything else. So far they've taken all the food and whatever weapons or armor that was in there. If these were filled with alcohol then they would have already been taken too. Since they are not there's something else in here so let's see what's in barrel number one, shall we?" I said, taking the cork out. The smell of the oil hit me first and I sealed it quickly.

"Oil, are all of these barrels filled?" Leliana wondered.

"I'm guessing yes. It won't kill the undead but if we make them walk into the fire, it would weaken them and slow them down." I said.

"Gut feeling?" Leliana smirked.

"Gut feeling." I nodded. We went out and I wondered whether or not I should go and try to get the sword for Sten. Unfortunately, I doubt Sten would even believe me if I tried to convince him. It would be best if we headed over to the pass in front of Orzammar and get the information first.

Sten was nothing but practical and logical. Me coming up and saying, 'Here's your sword!' Wouldn't do anything but have him question me at every turn. I mean, the only thing we had going for us was that one dude that told us to go to the mountains. How would I be able to deduce that the guy was here in Redcliffe? We had time and I know that we had to come back here once we got our allies so there was that. I headed over to where Eren was talking to Murdock.

"I found some oil in the store right around the houses. We could use it to weaken the undead." I said.

"Oil? You really think fire is going to work on those things?" Murdock scoffed.

"Every enemy has a weakness. Qunari are weak to the cold because of their humid and hot environment they live in. Certain demons have elemental weaknesses and these things are no exception. They are housed in bodies of the dead. Unless they're skeletons, their bodies are still susceptible to fire and will weaken them and definitely slow them down. The best way to take care of an undead?" I pointed to my head. "Is to destroy their link. Decapitation, crushing, and arrows to the skull will take them out."

"This one seems to know a lot." Murdock said.

"She's not my bodyguard for nothing. If that's the case, I'll talk with Ser Perth to see if he can arrange a trap at the main trail. We can also set the oil on fire on barricades surrounding the Chantry." Eren talked to Murdock.

"You really think this is going to work?" Murdock wondered.

"It WILL work. Trust me, no one is going to fall tonight." I said with confidence.

"Heh, you almost make me believe that miss. Fine, we'll set up the barricades." Murdock nodded. Talen came and walked up to us.

"Owen is already working on armor sets and weapons. If you want something fixed, then go ahead and take it to him." Talen said.

"Understood." Murdock nodded. Alistair came down from the trail and did a quick salute.

"Just in case anyone is wondering, Ser Perth and the others have taken symbols from the Chantry and morale seems to be going up." Alistair did a thumbs up. Derek came stumbling with an elf in tow that kept his head down.

"I found this one up in the tavern. Seemed to be a spy for Loghain and had orders to watch the village. Someone was found poisoning the Arl." Derek spat angrily on the ground.

"I knew something about that illness was off." Murdock growled.

"Luckily I convinced him to stay and fight for us." Derek laughed darkly. I can only imagine what convincing he did to this poor guy. "Also your men have free drinks up in the Tavern. As long as they are a little loose in the battle, it should calm down the nerves." Derek explained.

"Well at least if they're not falling over drunk." Murdock chuckled. "For now, let's fortify our defenses and the Chantry."

"Girly come with me. We need to give these men the meaning of 'getting ahead.' Get it?" Derek guffawed while I shook my head. We gathered all the men around, including the ones that were in the tavern. Derek and I went through step by step on how to kill undead. I participated as being the fake undead of course while Derek showed them all the steps to kill them.

All the men took up weapons that were familiar and comfortable with. Derek showed a good way to use a double handed blade to decapitate someone. Sten came by and also showed them how to incapacitate them and then cut off their head. I showed those that had their daggers that it's best to crush better to stab. Do anything you can do to get them on the ground or stunned so they can easily decapitate or crush their heads.

Alistair and Eren came with several tricks with their shields and swords. They recommended to use shield walls in the openings of the barricades to not overwhelm anyone that was fighting. We kept on training them and getting them suited up for the next attack. Owen was really good at getting everything prepped.

The sun started to set and we were resting at an empty home. It was hard to get some shut eye but I at least managed a nap. We were going to be fighting almost all night long and I knew that Teagan would also want to storm the castle early in the morning too.

"Are you scared?" Zevran asked as I waited at the Chantry barricades. Our team was separated between both points. Eren, Talen, Sten, Alfred, and Leliana were up the hill while Alistair, Derek, Wynne, Zevran, and I were down near the Chantry.

"Not really." I shrugged. "Undead are undead. They're not that tough but I'm just worried about their numbers. If we got rushed, then we might have a problem." I mentioned.

"Perhaps but with what we experienced at Soldier's Peak, I don't think these will give us any trouble." Zevran said.

"You can say that again." I chuckled. The small militia was ever watchful of the homes on the shore. I watched the torches illuminate our battlegrounds but there was something scary in watching the darkness. A horn resounded from beyond the trail which meant that they had the undead attack them there first. Everyone got into position. Derek, Alistair, Zevran, and I were at the four choke points of the barricades and Wynne lit them on fire. She and Leliana were at the back with a few others in front of the Chantry. I saw Alistair light up his sword and he chuckled in glee.

The wait for them to come out of the shadows was scarier than having them here. It was silent and the only thing I could hear was the fire before I saw small lights coming from the homes. Those lights were from their eye sockets that had no eyeballs. They came slow like real zombies. Moaning and groaning with various forms of clothing. Some just had linens on but others had armor and weapons.

"Here they come! Get ready!" Derek shouted and that caused them to roar and screech. They started to run. First came the archers that lit their arrows and shot at them. A few went down with some head shots but most rushed through. And so the battle starts.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku!**

 **Hi guys! I was going to upload this yesterday but the Xmas and NYE deserts punched our kitchen in the face. We were swamped that 12 hour workdays have been approved. To say that I'm tired is an understatement but I did get this ready for you guys so Merry Christmas! The next chapter won't be up until New Year's Eve since my work has drained me yet again. After all, people really want their deserts!**

 **Thank you BlueRubyBeat and lojenz for following! Thank you Chimera Spyke and BlueRubyBeat for reviewing! Please Review!**


	63. Night of the Living Dead

9:30 Guardian ?

The undead hit hard in their first run. They were slow at first but then a few started to run toward the fire, their sockets empty, their jaws open wide. Their screeching filled the field and I felt afraid. There were so many of them but I held fast. The first one that came toward me was hit by a sucker punch. It went down as many others were punctured by arrows. The next I was about to grab around its stomach and impaled it on the barricade. Those were the ones without weapons, most likely the ones that were merely residing in the castle.

Then the ones with weapons came out. I saw a few in the shadows, with bows and arrows. Once the first wave were pushed back, the real danger came out. They wore leather that hung from their bodies with a mix of weapons. Swords, maces, shields, double handed swords. Some knew what they were doing, others only threw themselves with their weapon, not knowing how to deal the most damage.

I heard everyone's shouts as they began pushing us back, some being able to get through our choke points and starting to fight with the militia. Eventually we abandoned those choke points when Wynne conjured up some glyphs of ice over them. Instead, the fighting turned inward, surrounding the bonfire in front of the Chantry. I was taking my anger out on the undead, kicking, punching, stabbing, decapitating. I would get visions of something bigger in my vision, of pain on my chest, of a teary eyed face.

I blocked it all out. I grabbed another undead and shouted in anger. Why was I angry? I'm not sure but I really wanted to kill these things. They weren't human anymore. They were only demons wearing the skins of humans. They had to die. It tried going for my face.

"Not on the first date!" I yelled. I stuck my dagger through its chin and hurled it out, striking two more.

"Now you're getting into it girly! Push them back!" Derek hollered. The militia and our group roared. I felt a renewed vigor. I tripped undead into swords, swiveled on my heels to avoid their attacks, and allowed Wynne to attack with glyphs.

I had grabbed one in a chokehold in order to break its neck when two more jumped at my back. I struggled to regain my footing but I ended up falling down to the ground. I heard Alistair shout as my face was shoved into the dirt. Their demonic strength was making sure that I wouldn't get up. My chest felt hot as I denied them that chance! I growled and lifted them up, hearing an arrow shoot through the air and I felt one of the bodies grow limp. I saw Zevran come and take off another one. I got up and beat in the skull of the other.

Zevran gave me a worried glance but I shook my head. There were more undead to fight. I saw the militia were holding their own along with Leliana and Wynne protective them. Derek tackled a few and swung his hammer against five of them. Alistair went to finish them off. Zevran and I tag teamed to take down the undead, he would trip them and I would beat them or he'd stab them, pass them off to me, and I would kill them.

After fighting wave after wave of about 10-15 of a time, they began to slow down. I was sweating in my armor and feeling that small wave of sleepiness. We fought off three more until only the fog was present. All of us looked around, adrenaline pumping through our veins, granting us more time to fight off anything else that was coming near us.

"Search the homes!" Derek shouted. Zevran, Alistair, and I formed a small group. My hands were gripping the daggers so tight, my knuckles turned white.

"I can't see anything in this fog." Zevran complained.

"Alistair light up your rune." I whispered.

"It's a blade, not a torch." He whined.

"Alistair, do it or I'll-" I rounded a corner and a blade hit my chest plate. They growled at me but I shoulder tackled them away, with Alistair rounding the corner and stabbing his flaming sword deep. More came out of the homes and it seemed oddly reminiscent from all those zombie games. Yes, I said the 'z' word. We were surrounded. I was against a door and something pounded against it. I let out a shriek as a hand broke through and tried grabbing me.

That was the signal to the rest to attack our small group. The wood creaked underneath our feet as we swiveled and tried to hit them but avoid everyone else. It was harder than it looked. I kicked one off only to have two others trying to grab me. I ended up hitting the back of Zevran and he chuckled nervously.

"When I thought of death, I thought of fine perfume and a very seductive and dangerous woman give me a come hither look." Zevran gulped.

"Funny, I thought of shepard's pie and a nice nap under a tree." Alistair said.

"I don't plan on dying here." I stated. One more grabbed for me and I decapitated it. I grabbed its lifeless body and screamed, beating the other undead back. "When in doubt, beat a bastard with another!" I threw it down and knocked out a few, allowing us to get out of there. We ran through the corridors from more until we ended up at the sign that had 'No swimming' written on it.

"Dead end." Alistair said.

"No, we need to regroup with the others." I said after hearing more growls coming from behind us. "Alistair, get your shield out. We're ramming through here." I pointed toward the planks right behind the house and the light coming from the Chantry in the distance. "There, head toward that direction and run as fast as you can."

"Got it." Alistair got his shield out.

"Do you think we'll survive?" Zevran wondered.

"Ask me after we kill everything." I exhaled harshly. "Go!" Alistair started running on the planks with Zevran after him and I was pulling in last. They had caught up to us but we beat them by a few steps. I stopped and did a hammer kick on the planks one after the other. They couldn't follow us after that. We came away from the homes and saw the light of the Chantry. The undead followed us as we ran back.

"Archers! Can you do me a favor and fill these guys with arrows please!" I yelled. We went behind the barricades to protect ourselves from the volley of arrows that came, taking out a majority of the undead with a few left.

"This is better." Zevran chuckled darkly. I nodded and we went back to decapitating and crushing their skulls. I heard more sounds of battle from the homes and an entire house fell from the stilts into the water. Not as much as destruction as I expected. Once Derek's group came back, all the undead were gone. We had another group go into the homes to make sure but everyone ended up around the bonfire that was already dying down. I felt like a bruise.

"Oh God, that was so much moving." I panted and Leliana came up with a waterskin. I noticed that her fingers were bleeding.

"You got the brunt of it." She smiled. I took the water skin and gulped down the rest of the water she had in it.

"Ah, that hit the spot." I gave it back to her and she took some bandages out of her pack. She dipped it into the elfroot salve and wrapped it around the damaged fingers.

"Why not get Wynne to heal it?" I asked. Leliana's eyes wandered over to the militia men, who were all accounted for, being tended to by the person in question.

"She has other worries." Leliana said softly.

"Yeah." I nodded and laid down on the ground, my body shivering from the cool down of the fight. "I feel better."

"Is that so?" Leliana said.

"Yeah. I don't remember what happened in Soldier's Peak but I know that it had to do something with demons. This was cathartic in a sense. It was like I finally got to defeat the nightmare that's been plaguing me. It also felt good to help others. Any word from Morrigan?" I wondered.

"It seemed she joined Eren's group as soon as the fighting happened." Leliana gave me a knowing smirk.

"Oh my gosh, that one wants him so bad. I can feel it. The thing that's bothering me is that he listens to her here and there." I groaned, rubbing my face. Leliana giggled.

"Jealous?" Leliana wondered.

"It's better if you get that out of your head. There's only one person on my mind." I raised my hand to the sky, the small fire making the gold glint off my ring.

"Is that person suave, roguish, and sculpted out of something from your greatest desires?" Zevran ended up sitting next to us.

"Oh yeah, definitely, that's exactly who's on my mind." I rolled my eyes sarcastically.

"Of course that's the person that has caused her sleepless nights." Leliana kept the ball rolling.

"Please, there is enough Zevran to go around for both of you fine ladies." Zevran eyed both of us. Leliana and I stared at each other before falling into bouts of laughter.

"Did I miss something?" Alistair wondered, coming over to our group after securing the homes.

"Only a burning my friend." Zevran sighed wistfully. That made us laugh some more. Our team from the windmill came down giving us the all clear. Alfred barked all around us and went out to the homes. He came back with a bone.

"That is so wrong Alfred and you know that. Put it away." I ordered and he did so with ears hanging low.

"Any casualties?" Eren asked.

"None boss! Just some rattled men, bruises, and cuts. We've done it." Derek laughed.

"Good, then it's time to rest. Everyone gather in the Chantry. When we awake, we will discuss our plans further with Bann Teagan." Eren rubbed his face. I could see the exhaustion creeping up on all of us. We went into the Chantry with everyone still awake from fear. Leliana found us a smaller room when I heard some hollering and cheering.

"He must have told everyone that they have won." Leliana smiled warmly.

"The villagers won. We won't win until we stop this entirely." I said, taking my cot out.

"You don't think it's over?" Leliana wondered, putting her cot next to mine.

"Nope. Those undead had to come from somewhere and someone has to be pulling the strings. Undead only come out naturally when people were buried and the veil is weak or…someone is orchestrating all of this. We'll know more tomorrow. I get the feeling Teagan is keeping something from us." I fluffed up my pillow while slowly taking off my armor.

"You are very paranoid." Leliana chuckled and shook her head.

"You'll see what I'm talking about tomorrow." I winked at her and settled for bed. I felt her back against my own and it was very comforting to feel throughout the night. Every so often I would wake up but it was more about being in an unfamiliar place than nightmares. It was a step up and I really was feeling much better.

After a while, the sun filtered in from the boarded windows. The light woke me up and Leliana was gone. The grogginess of interrupted sleep and having slept late, hit me right then and there. I wish coffee existed in this world. There is no way I was going to drink tea in the morning. I yawned and Wynne came in.

"Ah you're awake, good, because if you at least want to wipe yourself down then now is the time to do it. Might I say that you have something on your face and it's dirt dear." Wynne said with a joyful mirth. I giggled before following her. The men were out but the kids and woman were at a room at the end of the Chantry. There was a well right behind the Chantry and we all had buckets with towels in them. Leliana was already wiping down her face. The kids were playing in the tubs and there was genuine joy in the room.

I didn't want to spoil the fun by reminding them that there was a lot more to do after this. I sat down on the stone floor and took off my shirt. I counted about 12 bruises in total some ranging from the size of a dime to those the size of my hand. I wiped down my arms, parts of my back, and my face. I wet my hair slightly with the towel and Leliana came over and touched my back.

"Oh cold!" I cried out.

"Sorry." Leliana giggled. "I just never realized you had birthmarks." Leliana's finger traces something on my shoulder.

"Well, whatever you're looking at, it's probably not a birthmark. I barely have any on my back. It's mostly on my arms and face."

"Really? Then this line is not a birthmark?" Leliana wondered.

"What line?" I asked when I reached back and traced that same thing that Leliana found. "Huh, weird. Probably an old training wound, don't worry about it. Ladies dig scars you know?" I chuckled. Leliana swatted my back playfully.

"Of course." She walked out of the room and I followed after, carrying the damp towel with me. In our small room, I cleaned the other private parts and changing out my clothes for some cleaner ones. After doing my business out in the forest, I got suited up as the GWs were talking to Teagan. Everyone else gathered and Teagan led us out of the Chantry. We had an audience of all the soldiers as well as the adults in the Chantry. The Mother nodded at all of us with pride.

"Rejoice everyone for we survived the night with all of us remaining. We are victorious!" Teagan shouted. Everyone cheered for us. It was…something else. We haven't got the thanks of anyone since we started. It was always we need to get here or there, hurry and hurry. Seeing these people back on their feet because of us was…enlightening almost.

"But let us not forget about the ones we have lost already." The Mother recited a prayer and everyone hung their heads besides certain of us that didn't believe in the Chant. I recited a prayer of my own in my head while everyone was silent.

"With the blow that we have dealt to our enemies, and with the Maker's favor, I will enter the castle and seek out my brother and our Arl. Do not let your guard down in the daylight and watch for signs of renewed conflict. We shall return with news as soon as we are able." Teagan described and everyone went off to do their own thing.

"Praise feels good." Talen chuckled, his cheeks getting red already.

"It is isn't it?" Alistair puffed out his chest.

"Careful now, it's best to be humble during times like these. Can't let your ego inflate, no?" Leliana gave both of them a side glance as she giggled. They both went red. I shook my head and face palmed.

"Men." I mumbled and Wynne laughed.

"We have no time to waste. Regroup and seek me out at the mill and we will talk further there." Teagan said, rushing through the mass of bodies to go up the trail.

"Why does he want to talk there?" Derek wondered.

"At a guess? Something that he couldn't tell us before." I crossed my arms.

"Everyone gather your things." Eren ordered. We went back into the Chantry where we set up our packs again. I saw Alistair look at the swords and tapped on his shoulder.

"Alistair, did Wynne tell you where we got the sword?" I asked.

"She said that you found it in a house, why?" Alistair wondered.

"It actually belongs to a pair of brother and sister that lost everything. I think it's only fair to give them back the sword of their grandfather don't you?" I said.

"But…fire!" Alistair whined. I gave him the 'don't you give me that' look. Alistair pouted and sighed dramatically. "Fine! Don't say I'm not nice though."

"Aww, you're such a sweet and kind young man." I patted his cheek and he grumbled and pouted some more. I went back to where the kids were with the Mother and saw Kaitlyn with Bevin.

"You're back! I can't believe that the monsters are all gone!" Kaitlyn's face was worn but she finally had a smile on her face.

"I know. About the sword…" I started.

"Bevin told me about grandfather's sword. Truthfully I knew that you would put it to good use." Kaitlyn said.

"It is a very good sword, of fine make and expensive." I said. "Something like this should stay with you though. It was your grandfather's and I'd rather you take it as a reminder of this victory." I gave her back the sword.

"Are you serious!? How many monsters did you take down?" Bevin awed.

"Don't ask me, ask my partner Alistair. He's the one with the light hair at the door." I said and Bevin ran over there.

"Thank you for this. Bevin will surely look forward to this." Kaitlyn sighed, running her hands down the sheathe of the sword.

"Here, for the trouble of allowing us to use that sword." I said, going into my pouch and taking out 5 sovs. It was a minor blow but I wanted them to stay together.

"Are you really giving me all of this?" Kaitlyn gasped. "This is so much!"

"The sword helped us a great deal and that is my thanks to you." I nodded. Kaitlyn hugged me tight which caught me off guard that I stumbled slightly. Her body shook and I patted her shoulder.

"Thank you, so much! With this, I could travel to Denerim with Bevin! I will never forget the Grey Wardens and what they did here. What is your name?" Kaitlyn wondered.

"My name is Nia and I'm glad you guys are going to be alright. It's time that we go and try to break through the castle. Stay safe." I said my farewell. I saw Bevin asking Alistair a storm of questions. Alistair merely looked at me in glee at the fact that he has such a young admirer. "Sorry Bevin, I have to take Ser Alistair out of here. Have to stay busy and rescue the Arl."

"Of course! Stay safe Wardens!" Bevin did a small salute and we got out of the Chantry. Alistair smiled coyly.

"That was amazing!" Alistair giggled, really giggled.

"You're too cute Alistair." I shook my head.

"I am not cute, I am handsome." Alistair huffed.

"You need a shave." I shook my head. Leliana, Wynne, Zevran, and Sten were waiting for us. We walked up the trail to the windmill. We were able to see the castle in the distance. Teagan stood with his back to us while the rest of our team was there. Morrigan was standing close to Eren and her eyes locked with mine. I have no idea where she got this idea that she was trying to steal him away from me but she only stood closer to him and smiled triumphantly. Everyone was there and Teagan gave out a long exhale. He turned to us with a ring playing in his hand.

"The castle looks so quiet and serene from here. It's as if no one was inside at all." Teagan said softly. "I'm sure you are wondering why I wanted to talk to you here."

"Is there something wrong Bann Teagan?" Alistair voiced his concerns first.

"No, nothing is wrong but this is the first victory we've had since all of this began and so comes to my next plan: A small group should infiltrate the castle. The signet right here that I have in my hand opens a secret passage into the castle from the windmill." He described.

"Wait, so we didn't have to stay?" Eren wondered and I glared at him.

"Eren, don't start. We stayed, we helped and that's what counts." Talen huffed.

"I was afraid of mentioning it earlier because I thought you would have taken this alternate path and left the village to its own devices. I'm sure that no one would have survived if you had not stayed." Teagan explained.

"Very true. What next Teagan?" Eren asked.

"Right my plan is…" Teagan walked past our group when two people were running on the trail. "Is that? No… but, Maker's breath!"

It wasn't that surprising for me since I've seen this scene so many times. Lady Isolde, dressed nicely with not much to show of her situation besides horrid bags under her eyes and a semi haunted look. She seemed to stare into the village with a hunger. I'm sure whatever Connor has done caused her innumerable nightmares.

"Lady Isolde." Alistair whispered as she grabbed onto Teagan's hands as she neared him.

"Teagan! Thank the Maker you are still alive." Her voice shook. She had a messy bun and her make up wasn't as well placed as she thought she had it. The guard that was with her was extremely jumpy and didn't look at our eyes.

"Isolde? You are alive but…how…what happened?" Teagan was at a loss for words.

"I cannot explain right now. I escaped from the castle as soon as I was able to. Once the battle was over, it allowed me to sneak out but I must return quickly." Isolde bit her lip and her eyes wandered from here to there before settling on Teagan again. "And…I need you to come with me Teagan, alone." She stated.

"In all honest causes such as these, I have to say this sounds exactly like a trap." Eren scoffed, full on distrust showing in his eyes. It seemed to dawn on Isolde that she had an audience and gave us that crazed glare, a scowl on her face. It was more than a little unnerving.

"Teagan, who is this man?" Isolde asked, looking ready to strike at first notice.

"You should remember me at least, right Isolde?" Alistair sighed, rubbing his face.

"Alistair?" Her body position seemed far rigid and it seemed stuffier than before, as if she saw him beneath her. "Why are you here?" She asked. My first though in my head? Bitch, but I had to remember she just witnessed her son become a demon so she had that.

"Isolde please. These people are heroes. I owe the Grey Wardens and their group my life and the lives of the villagers." Teagan said.

"Damn right." Talen whispered and Derek laughed.

"I am sorry…" Isolde said slowly. She didn't mean it, no way. "With the circumstances, I do not have time for pleasantries."

"I'm amazed you're still alive. I thought everyone was dead in the castle?" Talen wondered.

"I mean, there had to have been a lot of dead people in the castle considering that we went through a sizable group last night." Derek grumbled.

"Please Isolde, we need answers." Alistair pleaded.

"I…I do not know what is safe to tell." Isolde said sincerely. A prisoner by something you loved with all your heart…how sad.

"The veil isn't weak here but it is very strained." Wynne pursed her lips. "It is very similar to the situation at the Circle."

"It almost feels like when…" Talen shook his head. "Look it's not that hard to figure that a mage did everything. I'm sure that whoever built that castle, didn't build it with any runes that opened any rifts. So mage is the only thing coming up."

"Saarebas are the cause of most of our problems it seems." Sten grumbled. He wasn't that far off.

"The mage…he was caught and even then…the evil continues." Isolde began to sob. "And Connor! The death has taken such a toll on my poor boy. I fear he is going mad. We survived but I could not leave the Castle until now! My son fears leaving the Castle, you must help him Teagan." Isolde began pacing and throwing her hands up. "You are his Uncle! You can talk to him, reason with him to leave! I have no one else to turn to Teagan." Isolde put her face in her hands.

"Do not worry Isolde, I will go with you." Teagan decided. Isolde gasped.

"Bless you Teagan, thank you!" Isolde said and went to her guard. Teagan had a suspicious look in his face before turning to our group and shoving the ring into Eren's hands.

"This has trap written all over it." Derek mumbled.

"You should go Teagan. It's not safe." Alistair urged.

"I know but I can't abandon my family. Here, take the signet ring and open the trap door on the floor of the windmill. I will go and try to distract whatever evil lies in the castle. Whatever happens to me or anyone else, you must save my brother. Everyone else, including myself, are expendable." Teagan resigned to his fate.

"That's not true." Talen shook his head. Eren clenched his fist.

"We will save anyone we can Teagan." Eren said.

"I am glad you keep me in your thoughts but priorities come first. I will go now. We will meet later my friend, should the Maker will it." Teagan said, going to Isolde who nearly dragged him over to the guard and they made their way out of Redcliffe.

"It's a trap!" I shouted before being hushed by Wynne.

"Eren? Who's going?" Alistair wondered.

"We won't all be able to go my friend." Zevran nodded. Alfred whined.

"No we won't. Derek, you man the ones that will stay. Alistair, Talen, Leliana, and Nia will accompany me to the castle. If we are not back by nightfall, then protect the village." Eren decided, going over to the windmill.

"Be safe everyone." Wynne said.

"Count on me boss!" Derek fist pumped.

"I had hoped to test my blade on the one who conjured the dead." Sten gave a disappointed sigh.

"Please keep your lovely faces clear from any mauling please." Zevran chuckled. Alfred barked.

"At least we are getting something done." Morrigan scoffed.

Eren opened the door to the windmill. It was creaking as it was doing its job. Alistair sighed and rubbed his face. Talen and Leliana gave each other a look. Eren found a few bags covering a door on the ground.

"It's now or never guys." I said.

"Everyone keep your guards up. There is no telling what we will face in the castle." Eren said, taking the ring and opening the door.

"Spiders perchance?" Alistair looked at me and I glared at him.

"A blood mage." Talen stated.

"Statues coming to life?" Leliana wondered.

"A revenant." I stated. Everyone looked at me. "What? It could happen." So Eren opened the trap door fully and we descended into darkness.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku!**

 **Sorry for the wait guys, family time and work time kinda blended in but I made this long chapter to hopefully make things better! So Syutaku won the 200th review but he's my beta and knows absolutely everything to my story including up to Inquisition soooo...**

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	64. Redcliffe Castle

9:30 Guardian ?

We were walking blind through the trail. There weren't any torches that were lit down here. The good thing was that it was one straight shot. We found a few torchers that were still lit, luckily for us. We found a door ahead of us when we heard growling and someone screaming bloody murder. We took out our weapons and stormed through. There were cells on either side of us and only one that was occupied with undead trying to scramble towards them.

Then they noticed us.

Talen set up a small fireball while Alistair and Eren shielded everyone from the flames that shot back. Those that were still capable, ran toward us. I slipped through Alistair and Eren and high kicked one while stabbing my dagger in another. Leliana finished the last one with a head shot. They were left burning on the ground.

"Undead, not a good sign." Alistair sighed.

"Let's see who we have here." I said, going over to the cell.

"Please don't hurt me! I swear I never caused any of this mess!" I looked in the cell and there was a young man with his greasy hair plastered against his head and face. The robes that he had on were tattered and ripped apart in a few places. He had blood shot eyes as well as bags underneath his eyes. Everyone else came over and Talen gasped.

"Jowan!?" He yelled.

"Talen? What are you doing here?" Jowan said.

"I could say the same to you." Talen glared. "What in the Maker's name has you in a cell? Don't tell me you used your-"

"I didn't! I was hired by Isolde but I didn't cause any of this!" Jowan yelled.

"Like void it wasn't!" Talen punched the cell.

"Hey! Calm down!" I said, grabbed Talen's hand. I felt a strange sensation then. There was a pull I felt when I touched Talen, slight but noticeable. Talen tore his hand away from me and scowled, rubbing his hand while standing away.

"I'm guessing you two knew each other?" Eren asked.

"We were raised in the Circle until he got me kicked out of course. If Duncan wasn't there, I would have made tranquil or worse, been sent to Aeonar. Some friend he is." Talen scoffed.

"Let's not bring anything that won't help us in this matter. Now, Jowan wasn't it? Tell me why you are involved in the Arl's family and, if you aren't the culprit, then who is?" Eren crossed his arms. Talen was still scowling and not looking at Jowan.

"It started when I fled the Circle. I had nowhere else to run when someone came to me with an offer I couldn't refuse, freedom from the Circle entirely. I had partnered with Loghain." Jowan started.

"Are you shitting me! Loghain!? How can you trust that snake?" Alistair banged against his cell.

"Alistair this isn't the time, save your anger." Eren said and Alistair backed off.

"I…well…he told me that he would convince the Circle to take me back but I had to do something for him in exchange…" Jowan gulped. "He told me to go undercover and infiltrate the castle. Isolde hired me because Connor had started to show signs of magic."

"Connor? A mage? That wouldn't go over too well with Isolde." Alistair sighed.

"Why is that?" Leliana wondered.

"Mages can't own anything and can't be passed down anything even if from prominent families. The most their family can do is give them privileges that others couldn't have. The Arl wouldn't have an heir basically." Talen explained.

"Not only that, Isolde is a pious woman. She was worried about others learning of Connor so she hired me, an apostate, to help him control his magic hoping that he would be able to hide it as he got older." Jowan explained further.

"That doesn't explain what Loghain wanted you to do." Eren said.

"He…he gave me something to poison the Arl." Jowan looked down.

"Shit!" Alistair kicked the cell.

"Alistair you better calm down or I will take you back out to the windmill." I glared.

"And she will have my permission to do so too." Eren added. Alistair groaned and walked to the other cell and leaned against it.

"I know how bad it sounds but I had no other choice! I thought what I wanted was a life outside the Circle but I found it isn't as easy to survive out here. I lose everything my friend, my love, Loghain was going to help me get back in the Circle and even allow us more freedom! But he has abandoned me, hasn't he?" Jowan's voice cracked.

"That still doesn't explain why the undead were attacking the village. Someone had to open a rift here." I said.

"Yes it was Connor. He doesn't have a full grasp of his powers and when he saw that his father was getting sick…I think he allowed a demon to possess him to grant him the power to heal his father. It didn't go the way he had planned however. The demon took over Connor's body and killed nearly everyone in the castle. When Isolde found out I had poisoned the Arl, she threw me in here. Later, she demanded that I fix what I had done but I never called a demon! Connor has to be the one that has done all of this!"

"What do you think Eren?" I asked.

"We need to stop Connor if he is the one that is orchestrating all of this." Eren sighed.

"There are only two ways to stop this." Talen lifted two of his fingers. "One, we go into the fade and sever the connection between the demon and Connor or…we'll have to kill Connor." Talen scrunched up his eyebrows.

"We are not killing a child!" I yelled.

"I agree as well. For now, we'll have to get to Connor first and see what we can do." Eren said.

"Wait!" Jowan said. "I know you have no reason to trust me but I can't help but feel responsible for all of this. Let me out and I will do my best to try to help you. Please, I've done so many wrong things. Let me do something right for a change."

"Are you crazy? You're asking for redemption now after everything you did!" Talen shouted. "You tricked me! You tricked Lily! I thought you were my brother more than my friend and you left me to die! They forced her to go to Aeonar and I was nearly sent there. If it wasn't for Duncan then I would be…you are always looking for the easy way out, you son of a bitch." Talen hissed, a few tears coming out from his eyes. "You…You traitor! You lumped yourself with Loghain as well! Why, by Andraste's sword, should we even let you out of here!? You should rot with these things!" Talen shouted, grabbing at the cells that were heating up with his magic.

"Talen stop!" I grabbed him by the robes and he didn't fight me. He bit his lip and his eyes twitched with unfallen tears. He had gripped the bars as they heated that I noticed he burned his hands.

"Talen…I'm sorry." Jowan said quietly. Talen growled but I held him back.

"To err is human, to forgive is divine." I said. "We can make judgements all we want but if someone is seriously considering to walk the other path, then we let them." I looked at Leliana who looked at me with an indescribable emotion.

"Are you telling me we should let him go? Just to let you know the reason why he was wanted in the first place is because he's a blood mage! Does that make you really want to let him go now?" Talen spat at Jowan.

"Hypocrite." I said.

"What?" Jowan wondered.

"If he's a blood mage…" Alistair backed off more.

"You're forgetting we have one too." I glared at Talen.

"Talen, you're a blood mage?" Jowan gasped.

"It's different! I was taught, I didn't ask a demon!" Talen shot back.

"But it's still Blood Magic no matter how you slice the pie." Alistair commented. Talen glared at him.

"Nia, you're asking a lot out of us if you want to release the one who poisoned the Arl free." Eren rubbed his face.

"I agree with her. He is willing to seek redemption and we are not the ones to judge him. The Maker will judge him on his acts. Besides, it's not like he'll get far. We have the ring and that's the only thing that can open the door." Leliana said, giving a small white lie. That trap door can be busted open if anyone really wanted to get out.

"I'm not going anywhere, please." Jowan pleaded with us.

"In the end, you're the one that has to make the decision Eren." I said.

"I know. Leliana, unlock his cell. If we see you again, working your blood magic, I will personally end you." Eren said. Leliana took out her tools and unlocked the cell. "What you do from here on out is your decision. We've wasted enough time here. Let's go." Eren said and Leliana came with us. Talen wouldn't look Jowan in the eyes.

"Don't make things worse." Talen mumbled, opening the door to the next room.

"I won't." Jowan said softly. We went through many rooms that had cells though every single one was empty.

"Damn, this is a lot of cells." I mentioned.

"Redcliffe castle is one of the most fortified locations in Ferelden. It should be able to withstand a major attack from an enemy. This is only one of many of the underground facilities of the castle. We should be getting close to the harbor." Eren said, going up the stairs and opening the door. We were met with a metal structure supported by large chains. We looked up and saw another and we faintly heard the sounds of waves.

"There's a harbor? In a castle?" Talen wondered.

"Redcliffe castle would be used as a de facto capital if Denerim ever fell and can be self-sustaining. Cells to hold prisoners are abundant, the carved out harbor to bring in supplies, the high walls and sitting on the cliff face for maximum defense. Unless the enemy was ready for weeks of fighting, it would be difficult to take this place." Alistair explained.

"The structure is amazing, that's for sure." I whistled. We went up another level and found a make shift barracks. There were tons of boxes that held equipment but most needed repairs. It was really dark though and, halfway through, we heard the tell-tale noises of undead. We got ready with Talen setting alight an old table to give us more light in the room. We were faced with seven undead, three with armor and weapons.

"The guards probably." Alistair sighed sadly. Talen set up a barrier around us as Leliana got one in a head shot and Alistair, with Eren, shield bashed the ones with equipment. I moved swiftly to the others, moving in between and stabbed them in the head and decapitating another. Talen helped Alistair and Eren with a small fireball to weaken them. Leliana got rid of the other one that tried to grab at me. We left the room and went higher. We passed a large cell and found the stairs to the harbor.

More undead were there waiting by the boats. About ten rushed at us. Talen set a wall of fire that they had to pass through. We were being careful with the flaming undead by trying to aim for their heads. Some caught out to our tactics after we killed half of their group. They rushed Talen who yelled in surprise.

"Oh no you don't." I grabbed one and hit another undead with it. Alistair and Eren came around and bashed the others off Talen who immediately set off another fireball.

"Watch it!" Eren warned as it came close to setting him and Alistair on fire.

"Sorry!" Talen said having one undead grab at his robes until Leliana shot at it and two more. I decapitated the last one and yawned.

"Tired?" Leliana wondered.

"I need a drink and a bed." I moaned.

"After we stop this. I'm sure Teagan will give us rooms." Alistair laughed. We went up the stairs from the harbor and opened a large gate to the courtyard. It was a wide courtyard that had seen better days. There were various bodies scattered about and we tread carefully.

"The way toward the main hall should be-" He started before all the bodies on the ground got up. We were faced with a small horde of undead and in the middle? A very well armored body with a longsword and intricate shield. It seemed different, moved different, and, just the presence of it, made the undead move differently.

"Why do I get the feeling that something about this is wrong?" I wondered, looking at the undead that snarled at us but not moving.

"Something is controlling them." Eren stated.

"What about that thing?" Alistair looked to the armored thing who had stabbed its sword into the ground and held its hand toward the group.

If I had to describe the sensation of a pull, I would say that something in your stomach kinda kicks up and your body follows suit. Then you're flying like a rollercoaster only less thrill and more, please make this stop. I landed hard on the ground a hair's breath away from the sword on my face. I raced back up my feet only to have a large hand around my throat. I got lifted up with the Revenant looking at me. I could barely breath as it glared at me.

Something happened though as I felt faint. A slight tingle from my back and tunnel vision. There was a power deep inside, wanting out. I wasn't sure. All I know was that my vision started going black before a sudden light filled me and I hit the ground again, almost retching from coughing so hard, wheezing and trying to fill my lungs with air again. The Revenant cried out as tears came from my eyes from my coughs and then a large boulder hit it full on.

Hands came from the undead, grabbing at me, trying to get to those few fingers and my face to chew on. Being on the ground, pelted from all sides, I couldn't find a good way out. I heard a few shouts and small fire wisps surrounding the undead. Soon their attention was diverted when Alistair tackled right into the group and scooped me up from the ground. He passed me into the arms of Talen who went and did another large fireball into another group of undead who were trying to get at Leliana who was in a nearby tree.

"Let me see." Talen looked at my throat and put his green hand over it. The pain from being choked slowly ebbed and I was able to breathe easier. Two undead came rushing over at us before being bashed by Eren. At this point, the Revenant pulled itself out from underneath the boulder.

"It's still alive!" Alistair yelled, dueling the Revenant who's eyes were still on me. Having a powerful spirit as a friend had its ups and downs. Being a target for demons though? I could do without. Eren roared, getting out another group of undead that were being whittled down by Leliana's arrows and then…

"I'm out of arrows!" Leliana shouted, going for the small daggers she had situated on her hips. I shook myself out of the pain and grabbed my daggers. I ran toward the tree that held Leliana as she jumped down, squashing an undead though there were four others. I high kicked one and dragged it to the ground where I shattered their skull. Leliana stabbed one dagger into an eye socket and used the other dagger to rend the skull from its spine. Two were left that tried to grab me. I held onto my dagger and reared back my right arm fully. I aimed in between the eyes and crushed its face before doing an upper cut, hearing that clean crack from the spine.

Leliana had kicked the undead away from me, crouching low and doing a sweeping kick to bring the undead to the ground. She stabbed downwards into the undead's neck. It tried to reach for her hair until she twisted the dagger to where it separated the skull and the spine. It's hand laid on the ground, harmless.

"Ok let's-" I felt that similar pull and couldn't even find the time to curse as the Revenant had me crash into Alistair. It was a miracle we didn't lethally harm each other with our swords and daggers out. Eren, who had been dealing with the last of the undead, finished with his group and tackled the Revenant away from the bodies that were me and Alistair. We recovered from the fall but I had felt something shift in my lower back when I got up. I couldn't wonder about it long when the Revenant had tried to stab its sword in my belly. I did a backward dash and got out of range.

Talen was hitting it with a barrage of smaller fireballs, not wanting to hit any of us. It whittled down its rotting flesh to the point where it lost its shield but held onto its sword. Eren, Alistair, Leliana, and I were slowly circling it. It did a wide swing and almost caught Alistair. Eren saw an opportunity at its unarmed side and tackled it into the wall. I saw a few crumbling bricks fall onto the Revenant who nearly chopped off Eren's head.

"Talen! Aim for the roof!" I suggested and Talen wasted no time in doing another fireball where the Revenant was standing under. It worked and a large part of the wall came tumbling down, crushing the Revenant. It wasn't dead yet though! Eren came and stabbed his sword downward through the spine and, finally, we had won.

"You had to say Revenant." Alistair panted.

"Next time I'll keep my big mouth shut." I rasped and cleared my throat.

"You're going to sound like a dying dog. It's best if you stopped talking for a bit to let it heal." Talen suggested, leaning against his staff more than usual. I took a potion to sooth the itchiness of my throat and we walked further into the courtyard.

"Here's the door leading to the main hall." Alistair laughed as he tried the door. It was locked and Alistair pushed from the other side. "Shit. It must be barricaded."

"Then we have to find another way in." Eren sighed.

"There's another passage here that the servants would use. This should get us to the main courtyard and get to the door over there." Alistair explained, leading us to another door. Eren went in first with the rest of us following.

"Wait, that wasn't the main courtyard?" I asked as we walked the corridor of the servant rooms.

"Of course not. The main courtyard has the main gate. That was the garden." Alistair chuckled. Three more undead came out of the servant rooms. Alistair rammed his shield at one, put them against the wall, and cut off the head. I tripped one and bashed it in the skull. Talen did a glyph of paralysis and Eren took off the head.

"We might as well look for survivors while we're here." Talen said, opening all the servant rooms but finding no one.

"You think there might be?" Eren wondered.

"You'd be surprised at man's tenacity to survive." Leliana commented. We opened another door to a library where there were four shades. They floated toward us and Talen threw out another fireball. They screeched in pain. Leliana and I stabbed one in their head. Eren and Alistair both slashed others before finally stabbing them. The closest one to Talen had a staff ran through them. They all disintegrated into the floor.

"Past this is the armory." Alistair said, trying the door but finding it locked. We kept on going down the hallways where one undead ran toward us who turned into flames for its trouble. We kept on opening all the doors we could find but found no one. Alistair found another door that would have led to the main hall but it was barricaded as well. "Again!"

"There's something in the main hall. This is the second time we've found a door to the main hall that wouldn't open. Ergo, there's something there. Maybe Connor." I deduced.

"Let's hope you're right." Alistair said, opening a door leading to the kitchen. Seven undead looked up at our group before Alistair shut the door. "Um, we have a problem."

"Do you think the Arl would be sad at losing a kitchen?" Talen asked.

"Well he has another one so-" Talen moved past Alistair and built a large fireball in his hands while the undead were already clawing at the door. Talen kicked open the door, shoved his large fireball through, and quickly closed the door. We heard screeches of pain and the door was knocked from its hinges. The door fell down when Talen stopped supporting it and the kitchen was a charred mess.

"That takes care of that." Talen patted his hands. We continued down through the kitchen, opening more doors until we reached a dead end. I opened the last door before almost being hit by a vase that shattered against the wall.

"Go away!" I heard a girl screech, throwing more things at me.

"Whoa! Lady! Chill!" I said, avoiding all the things she threw at me before Eren came up with his shield and stopped everything.

"Valena!?" Talen came around and she stopped throwing things. "Yes! I hoped I would find you."

"Wait, how did you know my name?" She asked, calming down.

"We were sent here to help anyone in need. I met your father in Redcliffe. He asked me to search for you." Talen explained.

"My father! Then if you came in, is there a way out?" Valena hysterically begged.

"There is one way but you'll have to go through the dungeons." I said.

"Are there more monsters?" Valena's voice shook.

"We got rid of all the ones we've found so far, trust us." Alistair gave her his winning smile. Valena didn't look too trusting though.

"I know my way around the castle, that should help. Thank you." Valena ran out as quickly as we encountered her. We rounded near the kitchen where it had some stairs leading down.

"Alright this should be the only way through the main courtyard. This connects to the larder and then has some stairs that connect to the guard's barracks toward the courtyard." Alistair led us downstairs.

"Are you sure that girl will be fine?" Leliana wondered.

"We opened all the doors on that floor and killed everything in the garden. She'll be fine." Eren reassured her. The larder was a mess but, with the cold temperatures, nothing has spoiled yet.

"What I wouldn't give for a big meal." Talen nearly drooled when finding a deer carcass.

"Not now Talen, perhaps later when this is all over." Leliana giggled.

"Sure. We'll have Teagan give us one! I think we deserve it." Alistair chuckled. We went up the stairs to the barracks that held no undead guards thankfully. We followed the doors out to the main courtyard. The gate was closed and our presence caused skeletons to come to life. Four archers surrounding the main hall door.

Talen did a quick barrier to surround our group against the flurry of arrows. Eren and Alistair made sure to keep their shields high to protect them from the arrows. Leliana and I followed closely behind them, using them as our cover. The skeletons hissed at us the closer we got before they abandoned their bows for proper daggers. They ran down, trying to knock us from the stairs. Alistair and Eren formed a shield wall against them. They rammed against them but only had their demonic power behind them, nothing against two full bodied men with massive amounts of training and experience. Leliana took this time to grab a skull and throw it down the stairs. I moved past and found myself right at the top.

"Hey bone heads!" I shouted to gain their attention and the other three looked at me. They took the bait. Eren ran his sword through one and Alistair bashed his shield against another skull. The last skeleton looked at them with fear before I went down and high kicked it off the stairs. Leliana crushed it underneath her foot and gave me a smile.

"That's the last of them, for now." I sighed in relief. The rest of us went up the stairs and Alistair breathed in and let out an anxious sigh.

"We're not sure if Connor is the one doing all of this Alistair, relax." Leliana assured him.

"No. If Jowan is right and said that Connor couldn't control his magic, then he will be the one doing all of this though possessed probably." Talen grimaced.

"We're not going to kill a boy right?" I voiced my concerns.

"No but if it comes down to it…" Eren let that thought hang. So Alistair threw open the main doors and we entered to make our decision.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku!**

 **So you might have noticed how I've changed Redcliffe Castle. I'm taking the blueprint from Inquisition and going off of that rather than Origins. It was odd writing it but luckily I've been it ambiguous enough to make your own 'design' in your head. You didn't go through ALL of the Castle in Inquisition of course so I had some leeway.**

 **Thank you Ace Kate, TheEarthDragon, and IIRanulph for favoriting/following! Thank you Chimera Spyke (love your philosophical reviews and I'll wait for your question) for your review! Please Review!**


	65. Choices and Consequences

9:30 Guardian ?

We walked through a small foyer that had dead guards and walked into the long main hall. The pillars of stone held the high curved ceiling. The throne was at the end with a large roaring fireplace except the throne held a child that was clapping and Bann Teagan was dancing erratically. Guards were at his side who had an empty look to their eyes. The child looked to our group that strolled in front of him. The shadows seemed to circle around him as he got up from his chair. Bann Teagan stopped dancing and rolled to Connor's feet.

A child shouldn't have that maniac glee on their face unless they are playing with their favorite toy. Having it while tearing apart of village slowly and killing with no remorse is a sign of something broken. Either way, it wasn't Connor's fault. It was the demon and we were here to deal with that not Connor.

"So, these are the foolish travelers that you have told me about, mother." Connor glared at us, his voice coming out guttural and harsh. Isolde weakly looked up to us.

"Y-Yes Connor." Isolde's voice wavered.

"That's Connor?" Leliana whispered, shocked.

"What happened?" Alistair looked on in horror.

"And these people are the ones that stopped my plan of reclaiming my village? They are the ones who killed my soldiers?" Connor seemed to taunt us with the control he had over his mother.

"Yes Connor." Isolde nearly sobbed.

"I'm beginning to think that isn't Connor anymore." Eren whispered darkly.

"And now it's looking at me Mother! I can't see it very well, you must tell me what it is!" Connor demanded. Talen came up to take a closer look at Connor, letting out a small magical wave.

"That's a definite possession and one from the top of the hierarchy, desire or pride." Talen said.

"That is an elf Connor. You have seen them, the servants in the castle…" Isolde explained and Talen glared at her.

"Oh I remember now!" Connor laughed with a screech. "I cut off their ears and fed it to the dogs! They were chewing for hours! Should I send it to the kennels Mother? I think it would enjoyed having its ears torn from its skull!" Connor took a threatening step forward. We all got ready for a battle before Isolde got to her knees.

"Oh please Connor, I beg you, don't hurt anyone!" Isolde broke down. Connor groaned, his hands going up to his head before there was finally a break. The shadows seemed to retreat and a fearful look passed over Connor. He was back again.

"Mo-Mother?" He looked for her and she grabbed his hands.

"Co-Connor? You can hear me? Listen and-" Connor back handed her, the demon taking over in an instant. Isolde cried out as she fell down the few steps leading to the throne.

"Isolde!" Alistair shouted.

"I told you not to touch me, you stupid woman!" Connor stepped down the steps, hovering over Isolde, angry. "You are beginning to bore me." He said calmly. It was that calm that seemed to make the room darker. The shadows grew thicker and my adrenaline was pumping again, my body sensing a large enemy, getting ready to fight or flight. She held her cheek and looked to us.

"Please you must help my son! I beg you Grey Wardens. Connor is not responsible for what has happened, please don't hurt him." Isolde sobbed.

"No, it wasn't his fault but yours. You should have done the right thing and sent him to the Circle instead of going around behind people's backs! At least he would have been able to have someone teach him how to truly control his magic! Now he has made a deal, hasn't he demon?" I looked to Connor and the demon inside of him smirked.

"It was a fair deal! The boy wanted to keep his father alive and I gave him the means to do so! Repayment was in order so I took his body for his wish! I will raise an undead army and conquer the world and no one will stop me from getting what I want!" Connor shouted.

"No one will stop him! No one!" Teagan cackled.

"Quiet! Or do you want to suffer the fate of the last toy?" Connor threatened and Teagan fell silent. "But there is no reason not to be civil." Connor went back to the throne and sat down while Isolde sobbed on the floor. "The irregularity will have her audience as she requires. Tell me, why have you come here to my domain?"

"We came here to stop you and save the village, save everyone in the castle, and Connor." I demanded. The possessed Connor laughed.

"Such lofty goals but you will not stop me! I am not finished playing with your small and insignificant lives! I won't have something like you spoil my fun! Mother has deprived me of my soldiers, of my sport! I require excitement and action! I will see your lives hanging on the balance of blood and death! No one will take that away from me. Pay the price for spoiling my mood!" Connor got up from the throne and let out his magic that blinded us. Connor was gone while the guards took out their weapons and Teagan got up, taking up a shield and sword that was near him. Isolde tried to go up to Teagan who threw her against the wall.

"Try not to kill them. They're being controlled." Talen said.

"That's going to be easier said than done." I said as our two groups clashed. The four guards and Teagan still had their battle sense, even if they were being controlled. Teagan's shield bashed into Eren's and they were locked in a battle of strength that Teagan won. Eren staggered, nearly getting his head lopped off by another guardsmen. Talen had put his staff away and came into the battle himself. He had put a finger in his mouth before going over.

"Talen!" Alistair shouted as he grappled with a nearby guard as Leliana and I kept two others busy. Talen came up to the one that nearly slashed Eren and placed his hands on the guard's face for an instant. The man's eyes rolled into the back of his head.

"Keep the guards occupied!" Talen rolled up his sleeves as Eren's sword met Teagan's own to make sure Talen wasn't in the way of combat. Leliana and I looked at each other. She twirled behind the guard, placing herself low to the ground. I did a battle grunt and pushed the guard over her. As soon as he hit the floor, Talen ran up and put his hand on the guard's face. I held up my daggers and caught the guard's sword, causing me to almost kneel as they pushed their weight on me. Alistair came up and bashed the guy's helmet with his shield, making him go down. Talen used whatever he was using to keep the guard still.

Leliana managed to get the last guard on the ground where she held him in a chokehold. Once they grew limp, she let go. Talen checked him over. Eren and Teagan were having their own duel in the middle of the large throne room. Eren had ducked underneath his slash and football tackled Teagan. He grounded his feet and maneuvered his shield in front him at the last second. Eren grunted but let go first, twirling his sword in his hand as Teagan and him circled around each other.

"Eren, we don't have much time!" Alistair said as we stood around them.

"Give me a second!" Eren avoided a low slash and stumbled backwards, keeping his shield in front, waiting for a time to strike. Teagan wasn't wearing armor meaning Eren had to be extremely careful not to kill him accidentally. I took in a breath and put away my daggers. I ran right behind Teagan and reared my leg back to kick his knee. Teagan groaned as he knelt and slashed at me before I grappled it from him. He tried to get back up but I grabbed the front end of his nice shirt.

"Time for cognitive recalibration!" I yelled, headbutting Teagan so hard that we broke both our foreheads. Teagan grunted in pain, stumbling to the floor. He rolled on his back, his eyes becoming clear. We all surrounded him with Talen keeping his hand over Teagan.

"What…what happened?" Teagan croaked out.

"I hit you really hard on the head." I explained, feeling the blood run down from my head. It stung like a bitch. Isolde came over and knelt to Teagan. Talen healed my head wound while putting down his sleeves.

"What did you do?" Alistair wondered with a curious eye.

"…Scrambled their thoughts slightly." Talen mumbled. I then noticed that one of his fingers had the skin broken, with small amounts of blood coming out. He had used blood magic but I kept my mouth shut. Hypocrite.

"Teagan, forgive me." Isolde sobbed as Teagan sat up.

"It's alright Isolde I am fine. They broke me out of the mental enchantment." He laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. Eren helped him up and Talen healed his head.

"I am so sorry Teagan. I was a fool to have brought you here. I would never have forgiven myself if I had caused your death. Please Grey wardens, my son is not responsible for all this! You all saw that a sliver of my son still lives inside him. We must find a way to save him!" Isolde begged.

"Look your son may not even be your son anymore…Right now he's-"

"An abomination." Jowan came from hiding behind a pillar, interrupting Talen.

"You!" Isolde screeched. She launched herself at Jowan but was kept at bay by Teagan. "This is all your fault! You brought this horror to my family!"

"I might have done that to your husband but I never summoned a demon! I've done a lot of things wrong but let me help, please!" Jowan begged.

"Help!? You want to help me after you tore my family apart with your demon magic?! I trusted you to teach my son and you go and poison my husband!" Isolde screamed. Teagan began to add the situation up in his mind.

"So this is the mage you spoke to me about. Wasn't he in the dungeons?" Teagan wondered.

"He was. I had hoped those creatures would have killed you by now." Isolde glared.

"We let him out. I thought that since he was a witness to all of this he might be able to help." Eren explained.

"You have every right to hate me. You opened your home to me and I betrayed your trust. I know you can't forgive me and I didn't know what I did could lead to this but I am serious when I say I want to help. Please." Jowan said sincerely.

"We can't turn him away. The more mages in this the better." Talen crossed his arms, still glaring at Jowan. "But like I was saying, Connor is an abomination. A demon has possessed him, not completely, but a possession is a hard thing to beat."

"But Connor is still inside, fighting whatever has taken ahold of him! He breaks through his possession at various points which means he is still in there. There must be a way to save him!" Isolde sobbed.

"I'm guessing though that breaking through takes a lot of energy. We have to think of something fast if we want to save him." I mentioned.

"I don't want to kill a child…but if Connor is an abomination-"

"Do not even start Alistair." Leliana interrupted him.

"There's nothing we can do. The demon has taken over and there are no other ways! Or did you forget what we did to those other abominations back at the Circle?" Alistair shot back.

"Abominations at the Circle?" Jowan wondered.

"Don't get sidetracked." Eren sighed and rubbed his face. "Can I ask why Connor isn't down here?"

"Violence…frightens him." Isolde sighed. "He must have run upstairs to his room."

"For how long?" Eren wondered.

"Hours at a time if we are lucky." Isolde replied.

"We can go up there and-" Alistair tried pushing the subject.

"No and that is final. We won't kill Connor. He was only trying to save his father." Eren looked down. He was comparing his own feelings with Bryce.

"But what other way is there to get rid of the demon from inside him?" Teagan wondered.

"There is…a solution if you would listen." Jowan offered. Everyone looked to him. It was odd like the shadows seemed to circle around him. Maybe that's part of the Blood Mage thing. He noticed he had everyone's attention and cleared his throat. "I can send someone into the fade where they can battle the demon and kill it. That should release Connor from the possession of the demon."

"Isn't the demon inside of Connor?" Teagan wondered.

"Not exactly. Mages connect to the fade and that's where the possession occurs. They can't take over bodies unless we met them here in real life. A mage goes into the fade to do battle with demons on their turf though so it's very risky and extremely powerful magic. They use the same technique and send us into the fade to overcome demons as a part of a test in the Circle." Talen explained.

"They what!?" Leliana gasped.

"I'll tell you about that later." Talen looked at her. "Speaking about the power, I've never seen someone do that unless they had a team of mages and plenty of lyrium, stuff we don't have here."

"No but I do know of a loophole out of that…at a cost." Jowan said.

"Can you stop skirting the issue and tell us?" Eren demanded.

"In order for me to skip the process of using lyrium to enter the fade, I must use another person's life. Their blood will power the spell and allow a mage to pass into the fade." Jowan explained. The tension fell like a hammer.

"A life for a life." I mumbled and glared at the floor.

"Human sacrifice." Leliana stated.

"Blood magic." Alistair shook his head. "Two wrongs don't make a right." Eren looked contemplative though.

"Maybe I should-"

"Then use my life. I will gladly sacrifice myself for my son." Isolde stated, interrupting Jowan who could only gape at her.

"Isolde! Have you even considered the consequences? Eamon would never allow you to do this." Teagan shot back.

"Nothing else is clearer to me. My life for my son." Isolde stood her ground.

"Or someone can go to the Circle, recruit some mages, gets some lyrium and come back here to do all of this with no one having to sacrifice themselves." I offered.

"That doesn't sound that bad and the Circle isn't too far from here!" Talen looked optimistic.

"No." Eren commanded. I swiveled my head and stared at him at shock.

"Eren, we have a way to not have anyone sacrifice themselves! Why the hell not?" I looked at him with incredulity.

"Even at one person on a horse, it would take two days for them to come back. You have seen the village and its soldiers. They barely took last night's fighting even with all the preparations we have done for them. Do you really think they can fight once more?" Eren explained.

"They have us! We can do this Eren, we can fight with the soldiers. All we need is one person and we can stop this." I stepped towards him.

"I agree with Nia." Alistair said.

"It doesn't matter if you agree or not! What's the point in trying to save one life when so many others will die! We got lucky last night but if we take this risk, would you be able to even look at yourself when others can be killed?" Eren seethed.

"Oh now you care about the villagers? Who was the one that actually thought about leaving them to die just so you can get to Arl Eamon in the castle hm?" I shot back. A low blow yes but I was angry.

"We have a shot of ending this, right here, right now, and you want to put all your faith in something that will put everyone at risk!" Eren shouted.

"It's better than Isolde sacrificing herself! A mother is supposed to be there for their kid, raising them, worrying for them, showing them what they need to do! I know Connor will eventually be going back to the Circle but that's the reason why she needs to be there for him before he goes damn it!" I yelled. "Children aren't supposed to bury their parents, when they still need to be around to teach them more! Or did you already forget that with yours?" I knew that wasn't what I really wanted to say but I got so angry. Apparently, so did Eren.

"Yes, like how you are there for your children?! How do we know this whole elaborate story of coming from another world isn't some elaborate ruse to fool yourself that you left your family. That you couldn't handle being a wife or a mother and you just left!" Eren spat.

"Eren!" Alistair came forward but I stopped him. I bit my lip so hard I caused it to bleed. I glared at Eren.

"I haven't forgotten. I wanted to take her but…this is different! We were running not trying to defend ourselves. We must think of the greater good. We can stop this now then we take our chance instead of trying to wait for reinforcements two or three days from now! Connor won't be stuck in his room for those days. The attacks will happen again and who knows how many others will die during that time. You are a naïve fool if you think that life is only a series of choices that present themselves in front of you and all you have to do is choose the best option. This is real life Nia! Either way, you are not the leader here I am unless you want to take the position yourself. Ask yourself this though: Are you ready to burden the consequences of your choices upon your shoulders? And I am sure, this will not be the last either." Eren looked down at me.

"I may be a fool like you said but at least I'm not someone who has lost their heart like you have!" I shouted.

"This isn't the time for ideals." Eren glared at me.

"This is exactly the time for ideals! To show others that we won't stoop as low as Loghain and fight back to at least do whatever we can to save everyone! If it's within reason, then we can do it!" I argued. Eren wasn't backing down though and no one was backing me up except Alistair.

"We are Grey Wardens. We're not heroes no matter how much either of you think it. You know what it means when Grey Wardens are present, a Blight just as its happening now. We come during the worst of times because we are the ONLY ones to defeat an Archdemon! We don't stay in villages and protect them against the undead. The only reason why we are here is to save Arl Eamon who is being kept by his demon possessed son. The sooner we can get out of this, the sooner we can go back on the road and get more allies! Archdemons can only be taken down by armies! What do you see here? What are we Nia!? A bastard prince, a blood mage, a criminal dwarf, some idealistic Chantry sister, a fallen Qunari, an apostate witch from the woods, a crow assassin, me, who has lost everything and thrown into this, and you, someone who was too stubborn to leave! We are no army and this is my decision to make, not yours!" Eren towered over me.

"I thought you could be different. I thought you could be a hero, someone that can show everyone how to rise up and do what's right." My voice trembled. Eren has changed but not for the better. "I guess I was wrong. Whatever, do what you have to do." I shook my head and looked to Isolde. "This whole entire thing was your fault. If you had swallowed your pride and sent Connor to the Circle like you were supposed to then you wouldn't had to hire Jowan, Eamon wouldn't have been poisoned, and Connor would have been safe. I hope you are happy with your sacrifice because you are leaving Connor with the biggest scar on his heart that he will ever have!" I stormed out, kicking the door, and settling myself on the stairs outside.

I hugged my knees and looked out at the snowy courtyard. Tears came falling out as rage seethed in my heart. I was so angry! There was another way, there was ALWAYS another way! Why couldn't Eren see that? Why can't he see that we can protect others, that we can fight! But he was right. I wasn't the leader and I couldn't judge him for that. He's only doing what he thinks is best, regardless of what others think. Grey Wardens…in my heart I was always the hero. I jumped to help everyone, save everyone, get the best possible ending out of all endings.

This isn't a game anymore and that was firmly shoved into my face.

There are no choices on a screen, nothing to choose, no auto travel. I hate to admit it, Eren was right. I wasn't going to say it out loud.

The door opened behind me and Alistair sat next to me. He ran his hands through his hair and stared out toward the courtyard just like I did.

"We should have gone to the circle." He whispered.

"They did it then?" I wondered.

"They moved into Isolde's study to do it. Teagan is bawling his eyes out in the throne room." Alistair let out a shuddering breath. The door opened again and Leliana came out to sit next to me. I rested my head on her shoulder and then she put her head on mine.

"Was I wrong?" I wondered.

"No…neither was he I believe but…it doesn't feel right." Leliana sighed. I saw that light flutters of snow started to fall from the sky. My anger was replaced by sadness. I understood it but it didn't feel right to me either but…

This is their life. Their story. Just like Eren said, I was just someone too stubborn to leave. Now I have to live with that.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku**

 **Just on time, syutaku made a little change just slight but man does it really change the whole entire chapter! And I'm wondering, have I made Eren too much of a d~~~?**

 **Also, 100 FOLLOWERS! YAY! THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT! :D**

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	66. Ashes to Ashes

9:30 Guardian ?

We waited outside until Talen came out. He looked drained and refused to look me in the eye. Leliana exhaled sharply while getting up.

"The ritual is complete. When Teagan went upstairs, Connor was asleep. I killed the demon and saved Connor." Talen explained.

"By way of sacrifice." Leliana stated. Talen tensed up at that.

"Yeah…Teagan and Eren are going to announce that the attacks will stop to the village right now." Talen mumbled out. "He said that all our group is offered a place in his castle to rest." I got up and looked at Talen but he kept his gaze at the ground. I sighed, my anger at Eren ebbing away. I hugged Talen who was shaking.

"It was Eren's decision and I know why you went through with it too so stop blaming yourself ok?" I patted his head.

"S-Sorry." Talen's ears drooped as he returned the hug.

"You know he's not a little kid. He doesn't need any hugs or pats on the head." Alistair chuckled as the tension seemed to diffuse. He got up and patted Talen's head. I broke the hug as Leliana stood up as well. She glared at Talen first before lightly smacking him on the face. He groaned as he held his cheek.

"Don't do that again." Leliana stated.

"I won't, I swear by Andraste's sword." Talen said.

"Good." Leliana smiled.

"Is it me or do I feel extra tired now after all of this forgiving?" I yawned.

"Yeah. I'll show you to your rooms." Talen said. We went back in the castle, avoiding the main hall. I wasn't sure how to go about looking at Eren or talking to him again. I thought that he could change into someone more heroic but I guess that was reaching for too much. Talen passed by the studies into the guest rooms. Only one was cleaned and it had two beds in it.

"Share?" I looked to Leliana.

"Of course." She laughed.

"No worries. I'll just clean a room for myself. I wouldn't want to let you two get stuffed in a bed because I was being selfish." Alistair explained.

"Ever the gentleman." I rolled my eyes.

"Thank you Alistair." Leliana said and Alistair seemed to beam while leaving the room. I gave Leliana a sly smile. "What?"

"Oh nothing." I hummed, making my bed and taking off my armor. The good thing about undead? No blood! I did feel sticky from the sweat though and I had dirt on still from the battle with the Revenant. Oh well. Leliana and I got settled into our bed though I couldn't sleep no matter how much I tossed and turned. Leliana was out like a light as soon as her head hit the pillow. I got up and went to explore the study instead.

I snuck out of the room, following the main hallway. The windows were darkened and someone lit the torches. It was getting dark outside, perfect for sneaking around. I followed the hallway away from the main hall and opened the door to the study. There were corpses in here as well, looks like they haven't cleaned this part of the castle yet. I hid my disgust while tiptoeing to the desk. I had to rummage slightly since I only had the light of the door helping me.

Eventually I found something twinkling in a drawer with some rolled vellums. I held it up to the light. It was a cracked crystal but shoddily repaired with the sunburst in metal, holding it together. I had found Alistair's amulet. I fist pumped in victory while leaving the room. When I got back to my bed, I noticed my pack was put there. With the low light, I managed to write everything down. Now I felt sleepy. Good night.

9:30 Guardian 20th

It took us all day yesterday to clean up the village. Isolde's sacrifice had already been gossiped to everyone in the village. Everyone was there at her vigil besides me and a few others. After that was done, the cleaning began. I helped make the pyres, setting aside the boats for the bodies, as well as writing out the names of all those that were lost.

We didn't have enough firewood for most and the homes that were left with no people to occupy them were taken down and used. There were only very few homes left on the water. Murdock already announced that they would be moving more inland and building homes in the surrounding forest. They already had plans for a new dock. As we were getting everything prepared, those that lived in the Hinterlands finally came through.

Most were hesitant to get near the village after hearing the rumors of those that left. After realizing that the danger has passed, they came and also helped. I understood their fear and why they didn't want to help. As I was getting another pyre ready, I heard someone clearing their throat behind me. I looked back and did a double take. It was a very freckled dwarf girl, young, but those eyes and hair reminded me of Harding.

"Um my parents came to deliver wood for the pyres. We have a wagon near the gates." She said, her voice sounding extremely young.

"Oh thank you. My name is Nia, you?" I asked.

"Lace Harding." She answered before her mother called her over. It felt odd watching this young girl knowing that she was going to be an important part in Inquisition. After making more pyres, I took a rest by the Lake, sitting at the bank, watching as boat after boat took off. The last remnants of those that have been gathered. I was lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear someone walk behind me.

"You weren't there for Isolde's funeral." Alistair said, sitting next to me.

"I didn't want to be there." I said.

"I understand." Alistair let out a deep sigh. "Maker's breath, what am I going to tell Eamon once he wakes up?" Alistair's voice trembled and he hid his face. "He raised me despite the rumors and I always looked up to him. I couldn't even protect his family."

"We both failed Alistair." I wiped my eyes slightly. The pain of failure has grown dull and my emotions were delving inward. Alistair cried silently and I grabbed his hand so he could be comforted. "I'm sorry."

"I know that you're still reeling from what everything has happened but I found this in Eamon's study." I saw his crying face light up in surprise. He took the amulet gingerly, letting out a soft exhale and smiling widely. He opened his mouth before he cleared his throat.

"This is my mother's amulet, but where did you find it and why do you have it?" Alistair wondered.

"I sneaked into the Arl's study because I couldn't sleep last night. I remembered that you mentioned it and wondered if it really meant that much to you, then maybe it meant something to Eamon." I explained.

"Wow, you remembered something I said? Usually whenever I'm speaking it seems to go over people's heads. This is…thank you." Alistair sighed and held up the amulet to his head.

"I listen to everyone even if I want to ignore them." I laughed. Alistair had a soft smile as he ran his hands through the crystal.

"I broke it entirely though and yet here it is, fixed but who could have done it?" Alistair wondered.

"That you'll have to ask after Eamon wakes up and it's when not if." I said. Alistair nodded before wiping his eyes.

"Don't tell anyone that I cried ok? A man has a reputation you know." Alistair chuckled.

"What reputation? A wanted criminal traveling with several misfits to save Ferelden? Not much a reputation." I laughed before he got me in a choke hold and started messing with my hair.

"I was wondering where you two have gone. It seems we have a dinner planned at the Castle." Zevran chuckled. The tension came back to both of us and Zevran noticed.

"I'd rather not go if Eren is there." Alistair pouted. I nodded too.

"I really don't want to see Eren." My mood quickly went down the drain.

"What exactly happened? I mean, Leliana told me that you both got into a dispute but nothing further than that." Zevran wondered.

"I put down an offer that he obviously refused. I asked him if someone could go to the mage circle to gather mages and lyrium instead of using blood magic to help Connor. He said no and allowed Isolde to sacrifice herself." I explained.

"We had the chance to do go and get help. In any case, I'd rather take something from the kitchens than go to the dinner." Alistair suggested.

"That's actually a good idea." I nodded getting up and patting down the dirt that had stuck to me. Alistair got up and gave me a quick hug before leaving. Zevran gave me a raised eyebrow.

"Is there something going on between you two?" Zevran wondered.

"Don't worry about it and don't get jealous. Alistair looks pretty but he's Leliana's problem not mine." I said, about to walk away before he grabbed my arm.

"Your eyes are red again. Have you been crying?" Zevran asked with worry laced in his words. He would notice, wouldn't he?

"It's…" I sighed. "It's about Eren again and what we fought about at the castle." I took my arm back. "He asked me whether or not I was prepared to accept the consequences if we went to the Circle. I told him, we are a strong group! We could have defended this village for two more nights if Connor came out of his room again. He said that it wasn't possible and why should we even try if more villagers die just to save Isolde? I had hoped…" I kicked a rock into the lake, the feeling I kept inside suddenly spilling out. "I should have forced it on Eren, went to the Circle myself, did something. All I did was just angrily accept it. Damn it…Damn it!" There were no tears but the anger was still there. I clenched my teeth. "I feel so…useless." And I hated myself for that. Zevran grabbed my face and forced me to look at him. There was something unreadable in his eyes.

"You are not useless. I see the pragmatism in Eren's decision but I also see yours. Undead are nothing compared to darkspawn or even high tiered demons. If we had rallied the soldiers to protect the family of their Arl, I am sure they would have fought as hard as they could to save them." Zevran assured me. "There was a chance and Eren chose not to follow through. Regardless, the burden now falls to him not you. You did not push him to choose blood magic. You found another way and he disregarded it. Be angry at him, not at yourself." Zevran's voice calmed me down as well as him agreeing with me.

"I'm so sick of being angry though. I got angry then and said a few things I regretted too. I don't want to be angry at him either. Worse was that I agreed with him in the end. It makes me feel like I was lying to myself in wanting to save everyone." I said. Was it wrong to be the hero? It made sense. We ended it right then and there, no more people dying besides Isolde who went willingly.

"You were being true to yourself and you don't have to apologize to anyone about that. You were willing to save someone dashing like me. I can't condone you for wanting to save more." Zevran smiled. I let out a long exhale and nodded.

"Thank you." I said before my stomach growled in hunger. I hugged my stomach in embarrassment.

"Well now, that almost sounded like the mating call of those elven halla." Zevran chuckled.

"Ha. Ha. So are you going to the dinner or not?" I asked.

"If you would prefer a romantic night along the shore of Lake Calenhad, with yours truly, I would be happy to oblige." Zevran took my hand and bowed. I rolled my eyes though my heart did skip a beat at the prospect. I was a hopeless romantic after all.

"So funny. I might as well go. If something important was going to be discussed, I'd rather be there." I took my hand away.

"Then let us be off. Being around so many pyres makes me feel uncomfortable." Zevran shivered. I shook my head. We went on the trail that lead toward the castle. Zevran told me a few differences between his home and Ferelden. Wide plains as far as the eye could see and, with the golden wheat fields out in the farms, it was as if you were walking on gold. The rain wasn't as cold as Ferelden and, when the monsoon season was over, everywhere was covered in wildflowers.

"Didn't you grow up in Antiva city though? How do you know so much about the plains?" I asked.

"For a time, I lived with the Dalish. It was a very short time however as I was still bound to the crows. It wasn't as pretty as the stories the elves told me from before. I moved on and, through chances, have found myself here." Zevran shrugged.

"I have a feeling there is more to the story." I crossed my arms and gave him a disbelieving look.

"Maybe one day I will tell you, for now, let us enjoy our meal." He said. We walked through the main gate and followed the stairs to the main door. The guards let us in and the castle was a myriad of activities. They had cleared out all the corpses but now came the real cleaning of blood, wood, papers, and other miscellaneous things.

I saw Morrigan lounging in one of the more finer seats, watching others run around and clean with a glass of red wine in her hand. She saw the both of us and smirked.

"Well, I had wondered if we would have more guests for our dinner." Morrigan took a small sip.

"I'm guessing this is the life you were looking for?" I asked.

"Not at all. I am merely enjoying the fruit of your labors. Tis would be silly not to." Morrigan chuckled. Eren came down the hallway and Morrigan had that predatory look on her face when she watched him.

"The dinner has been prepared. Have any of you seen Alistair?" Eren asked, avoiding my gaze.

"He had other plans so he's not coming." I said.

"I see. Teagan is looking for him anyway and I doubt he would decline his offer. Come, we have much to discuss." Eren walked and motioned us. We followed him into the dining area. Everyone was already there and waiting. Even Alfred was in his own fancy corner surrounded by empty plates of food. His belly was full to bursting and he was smiling as his tongue was lolling out in happiness. Zevran and I took seats near Leliana. Talen was across from me and Sten looked extremely uncomfortable a few seats down.

Eren sat down and eventually Teagan came in with Alistair in tow, looking like his father had scolded him. Wynne and Derek were the last ones that came in and took the last seats. Teagan got up.

"Thank you Grey Wardens and your group for saving Redcliffe. I'm sure many of you are wondering why I gathered all of you here but there are things that we must go over before we continue on." Teagan started as servants started to come in with tasty treats. I couldn't even remember even eating something as lavish as the fish and meats that came out.

"Eamon is still gravely ill and we must look for a cure before death claims him." Teagan said.

"I remember Ser Donall mentioning a few knights and Templars searching for the Urn of Sacred Ashes." Alistair mentioned.

"Yes. When Eamon would not wake after all the healers and potions, Isolde gathered the knights and sent them to search for the relic. At first I thought it merely something to ease her as we tried to heal Eamon. Now, it seems that relic might be our only chance of reviving Eamon. The sacred ashes are said to cure any ailment. At this point it is the only thing I can rely on but it isn't something I can do alone." Teagan explained.

"Wynne and I have done everything we can to try to heal him but nothing works but finding the sacred ashes is like finding a needle in a haystack! Where do we even begin?" Talen wondered.

"There was a researcher who focused exclusively on the ashes in Denerim. Unfortunately, all the knights we have sent to Brother Genitivi have gone missing or came back with nothing. I'm sure your group can do much more. For now, please relax and enjoy your food." Teagan said. The Grey Wardens went right into feasting, their metabolism going through the joining coming into play.

"The villagers aren't without food so you don't have to worry about eating." Leliana mentioned. That was the go ahead I needed to go. I had mashed potatoes, a fish pie that was absolutely delicious, smoked meat along with some cheeses that I taste tested first so they weren't that strong. All in all, it was amazing! I even had a fruity type of wine! After we had our fill, the servants took away the food which was mostly scraps at this point.

"Alright, so what's the game plan? We're heading over to Denerim or what?" Derek belched. Morrigan scoffed in disgust.

"We won't be able to because we have outstanding warrants." Eren sighed.

"True, your posters have been sent to nearly all of Ferelden. It won't be an easy task for the Wardens." Teagan rubbed his face.

"Then we'll need others to go into Denerim. Someone that's good at sneaking around and can disguise themselves." I pointed out. "They have warrants for the Wardens but I'm pretty sure Loghain doesn't know all of us." I motioned to the rest of us.

"That is an excellent point. I volunteer Nia." Alistair nodded.

"Say what now?" I wondered.

"Nia did live in Denerim at one point and I'm sure you know your way around the city as well. It's not a bad choice but she can't go alone." Eren mentioned.

"Hey wait a second." I tried to butt in.

"I will accompany her. I have past experience of this before I turned to the cloister." Leliana pitched in.

"Two ladies alone? That cannot happen." Zevran chuckled.

"But Loghain hired you. I'm sure that he would recognize you as well." Alistair glared at him.

"He what?" Teagan wondered.

"Long story." Alistair shook his head.

"Can I say-"

"Sten. You will accompany them. They need someone to protect them on their journey." Eren decided.

"If I must." Sten grumbled.

"Darkspawn are still out on the roads. You really feel comfortable sending them out without one of us?" Talen wondered.

"That is a good point elf." Derek rubbed his beard. "You'd pass for a girl with a little make-up." He guffawed.

"What!?" Talen squeaked.

"Disguises, not a bad plan." Alistair chuckled. Talen grumbled.

"Nia, you will lead Leliana, Sten, and Talen to Denerim and find any leads concerning Brother Genitivi." Eren decided.

"And here I am with no say in the matter." I mumbled. "Ok, ok. When do we leave?"

"As soon as possible if you can." Teagan said.

"We'll need to get some disguises ready in case they have us on the warrants." Leliana rubbed her face.

"A girl…" Talen pouted.

"Thank you for this Grey Wardens. The sooner you get back, the sooner we can wake Eamon." Teagan said. With that, dinner was ended and I was with Sten, Leliana, and Talen in another room.

"We'll have to take Lily and the wagon with us if we want to get there in a good time. Denerim is a bit of a walk considering where we are. It will take us at least three days to get there if the weather is good." I described.

"Wynne will do her best in keeping Eamon alive until then." Talen nodded.

"Why must we save this man when we should be out there hunting the Archdemon?" Sten wondered.

"No Archdemon was ever taken down by a few people. It takes an army to get there and we'll have better support if Eamon was with us. It's all strategy Sten. We can't just point a sword at the Archdemon and be done with it. Besides, we don't even know where the Archdemon is anyway. Why go searching for it when we can better our numbers?" I explained. Sten grumbled but nodded.

"In the meantime, I will go and ask the Chantry for a few robes. No one will suspect us if we go as a Chantry group." Leliana had that mischievous glint in her eye.

"Do I really have to go as a girl?" Talen wondered.

"Do you have any other way to get in there besides cutting your hair?" I asked. Talen grabbed his braid protectively.

"No…" He mumbled.

"Then girl it is. Get some rest guys. We're going to have a long journey ahead of us." I sighed.

* * *

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	67. Leliana's Past

9:30 Guardian 21st

I woke up early in the morning to get to Redcliffe village as soon as I could. Derek and Alistair were up earlier than I, working to help the village get back on its feet. So far they have been clearing away fields in order to prepare for new homes of the ones that lost theirs near the lake. Derek was with Lily at the makeshift stables provided for work horses.

"Morning Derek." I said, watching how the sun was barely creeping over the village.

"Morning missy. About ready to head out?" Derek said as he cleaned Lily's hooves.

"Yeah. Everyone's packs were filled last night. Leliana asked me to come down and borrow a few of the Chantry clothing." I explained.

"Borrow?" Derek raised his eyebrow.

"Stealing doesn't sound good to use considering we are 'heroes.'" I emphasized. Derek gave out a long guffaw.

"Got it. Go and get ready then. Lily should be prepared by the time you all wake." Derek said and I went into the village. Most were resting from the attack. The time for grieving was now and some had decided to move to Denerim after the attack. Then there were those that were stubborn and refused to leave their birthplace. I sneaked into the Chantry, going near the door that would lead to the underground room. It's here that I found a few broken drawers with Chantry robes. I gathered what I could in my arms and booked it out of there.

I went to the wagon and placed our disguises in there. Alistair was wearing work clothes instead of his usual armor and it looked good on him. He was taking a breath from clearing another field on a stump. The sunrise hit his golden locks and they shined like wheat on a field. I noticed a glint coming from his neck and I went up to him.

"You're wearing it." I said.

"What? Oh my mother's amulet, yes. I thought it would be good you know? A bit of holy protective power to give me an extra oomph during fighting." Alistair chuckled.

"It's looks good on you. Do you know anything about your mother besides your amulet?" I wondered.

"Only that she was a star struck servant girl. No one has ever told me details and I was never given the opportunity to learn more. I do know that…well…" Alistair fidgeted with his fingers.

"Know what?" I wondered.

"I have a half-sister actually in Denerim. I've never met her and there was never really a right time to go and visit. I was hoping I'd be able to go with you all in order to meet her. It would be nice to have a family." Alistair explained sheepishly. My heart dropped with that. Fiona wasn't a good person all around. In fact she was one of the main reasons why the war in the future started with her whole 'Fuck the Divine,' comment spreading like wildfire. She did love Alistair though and I sorely wished that I could have told Alistair the truth about his birth though that would mean explaining the Architect and Duncan's brash behavior.

"From what I learned through my time is that blood doesn't always mean family. We had a saying back home, the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Sometimes your family relations aren't that strong and the people who you shed blood with are actually closer to you than your family. I've found that sometimes that quote goes into play, especially here." I explained.

"You and your family didn't get along?" Alistair wondered.

"They're my family and I love them unconditionally but they got on my nerves, a lot. I had a mother complex for a long time, my brother was an unmotivated slob, and my dad had almost caused our family to be another broken family statistic. When I got older, I noticed that a few of my friends came through more for me than my family. Just remember Alistair, your sister doesn't know anything about you. Coming into her family all willy-nilly doesn't mean you're going to be accepted like that." I snapped my fingers. Alistair was really listening to me.

"But isn't that what family is supposed to do?" Alistair gave me those cute disappointed puppy eyes as if I told him that we weren't going on a walk after getting him hyped up for the park.

"Family that grew up together yeah but does she even know you exist? You're a bastard and to the king no less! Aren't you supposed to be a secret? Would they even let her know you were alive? The less people know about you, the less it harmed King Maric or Cailan. Your lineage was probably going to be stuffed into the closet until they could use you." I explained.

"That…doesn't really sound…all that good to be honest." Alistair pouted. "But I see your point. They would protect my father first." Alistair sighed. I patted his head.

"I'm not saying don't go see her but I am saying don't go in there expecting something that won't be there. People, to a point, are really distrusting especially during these times. Be careful Alistair. I don't want you getting hurt." I said.

"You always get worried over me, why is that?" Alistair wondered. I shrugged, taking my hand away from his head.

"You're kinda like a puppy that I feel a need to take care off." I laughed at the face he pulled.

"I am not a puppy! I am more like a mabari war hound, ready to pounce on my enemies!" He rose up and growled, with his hands up.

"Oh yeah, that's the total face of a mean killing machine." I rolled my eyes.

"You are starting to hurt my manly feelings." He feigned sadness.

"What are you two jesters talking about?" Talen yawned as he walked up to us.

"We're just joking around. Got everything ready?" I wondered. Talen looked back at the wagon where Leliana and Sten were talking and putting their packs away. I couldn't hear what they were talking about but Sten's face was stoic and Leliana's was slightly more joyful.

"Mostly everything. Did you get the disguises?" Talen asked.

"Yep." I gave him a thumbs up.

"Then let's get there as soon as we can. The sooner we get back, the sooner I won't have to be a girl." Talen stuck his tongue out.

"I am very sure that a pink blush would do wonders for your skin!" Alistair commented.

"Probably a fine eye shadow to go with your honey eyes maybe?" I added.

"A curl to your hair per chance?" Alistair chuckled.

"Tch, Void take both of you." Talen huffed before going to the wagon.

"Oh there is something that I have to do…Um can you do me a favor?" Alistair asked.

"Does this have anything to do with any dismemberment?" I asked.

"What!? Of course not!" Alistair shouted.

"I was joking Alistair." I deadpanned.

"Oh well…that aside, can you call Leliana over? I have something I want to give to her." Alistair's face got all red. I raised my eyebrow.

"So are you going to confess to her finally?" I wondered.

"I-wha, how did you, that is…" Alistair stumbled over his words and I giggled.

"Only because you are so adorable Alistair but now you owe me." I stuck my tongue out, going over to the wagon.

"I saw you play with the kitten!" Leliana giggled, following Sten as he helped Derek prepare the wagon to Lily.

"I was merely training it for the battle ahead." Sten gruffily answered.

"You are such a softie!" Leliana laughed and I tapped on her shoulder. "Yes?"

"The prince is expecting you." I giggled.

"Prince?" Leliana wondered before I pointed behind me. "Oh. Excuse me." Leliana went over to Alistair. Talen crept up next to me.

"What's going on between them?" Talen asked. I gave him a sympathetic smile.

"What do you think?" I asked. Talen stared at them and Alistair was really close to Leliana though her back was towards us. We weren't able to see anything specifically. Talen scowled.

"I guess it would be better for them to get together…" He mumbled, his brow furrowing.

"Jealous?" I wondered.

"Is that wrong?" Talen's face grew red.

"No but we'll see if Leliana is going to do anything with it. Remember, it takes two." I winked at Talen. Leliana came over to join us with a rose right behind her. Talen's scowl deepened before we all boarded, Leliana taking the reins of Lily.

"Now don't go too fast. She's an old sort." Derek patted Lily's rear.

"We won't. Tell the others we are off." Leliana said before urging Lily to go. I felt the wagon being pulled by the horse and we made our way out of Redcliffe. The sky was clear as we went ahead on our journey. Sten was being his quiet self, looking through the sword that was gifted to him by Teagan. Considering that he gave it a nod of approval, I'm sure he liked it. Talen was another story. He had a scowl while reading over his notes from Soldier's Peak. I could tell that he was mulling over the events from earlier with Alistair.

He hasn't turned a page for the last hour.

"Talen if you keep staring at the same page for hours, you're going to bore a hole through them." I chuckled. Talen huffed while closing it. He watched the scenery instead but he kept on fidgeting, looking toward Leliana on the seat, before doing the same thing over and over again. I wasn't too annoyed of it. I fidgeted when I got nervous too. We kept up a comfortable silence and decided to camp out towards a forest. I didn't recognize the road with all the snow still around. I wondered how long it was going to take us to get to Denerim. Sten and Talen would camp out in the wagon while Leliana and I got to camping outside. I had taken first watch.

It wasn't long before Talen woke up after everyone else had slept. He put in more wood to the fire and sat next to me in a dry spot in front. I knew that he wanted to talk to me. He would shift his mouth but nothing would come out.

"You've been in a mood since Redcliffe. Wanna talk about it?" I asked.

"I like Leliana." He blurted out so suddenly that I spat my water out. He laughed at my reaction but he got red saying it.

"That was sudden." I shook my head. Talen gave me a playful smile before staring into the fire.

"I think it was because, well, I'll admit she is really pretty but…I like the fact that she's positive. I hear her praying sometimes when she wakes up with a nightmare. She has all these nice songs and really good stories. I had her tell me a lot of them when we stayed in Soldier's Peak. She doesn't see me for my magic like everyone else just as me." Talen explained. "It happened naturally for me though I can see why she wouldn't like me."

"You're a good guy." I said. Talen shook his head.

"No I'm not. You're right. I learned blood magic. It doesn't matter on the how just the fact that I learned something so forbidden…It's not the best type of magic even if it is something to use to research the Blight. It's funny, Alistair is so against it but the Joining is a type of blood magic. We drink darkspawn blood and accept the taint into ourselves so we can fight against them. Someone had to think of the first Joining somehow right? Maybe I can use this blood magic responsibly. I'm sure she's also still angry about Redcliffe too." Talen sighed, running his hand through his hair. He took out the hair tie and let his braid unravel, scratching his scalp.

"Why did you agree with Eren anyway?" I wondered.

"I didn't agree to it. When you guys left, Eren semi forced me into it. In the end, I agreed though. I didn't want anyone to die but the way Isolde jumped into it with a smile…it haunts me." Talen drew his knees to his chest.

"What happened with Jowan?" I wondered.

"He was put in the cells once the ritual was done. Jowan went quietly and told me he was sorry for everything that happened. It sucks because I know him so good that this redemption thing he's trying for is real. He wants to make up for everything and I'm not sure what to feel about that. I was betrayed, left to die! He was my brother growing up. I thought that he thought the same way about me but the minute he was able to get power, he left me." Talen clenched his jaw and furrowed his brow.

"Being in a position like that is hard. I can't say much on the subject because I've never lived in a Circle and I can't ask you to forgive him just like that but what I can say is this: Do you want that relationship back and are willing to work with him to be that way again?" I said.

"It won't be the same as before." Talen mumbled.

"No it won't. When someone betrays you, it's difficult to gain that back but all relationships take work even friendships. If you want to be friends with Jowan again, no one is going to blame you Talen. The fact that you're agonizing over it means something right?" I said. Talen scowled and lightly shoved me.

"Why do you have to be right so many times?" Talen grumbled. I chuckled. "What should I do with these feelings with Leliana though? I can't tell her that I like her too. Alistair already made his move."

"Give it time. I'm sure Leliana doesn't want to up and get a relationship right now. We're in a Blight and a civil war. We can't think about being with someone right now but sometimes, because we're in such tough situations, it can be what we need. You need patience now but don't act differently around her. I'm sure she doesn't want to see that frown on your face all the time." I explained.

"I hate that you're right so much." Talen stuck his tongue out at me.

"Truthfully I'm almost never right so this is awesome to me." I laughed. Talen smiled and we settled into some silence.

"I'm sorry that Eren said mean things to you when you were arguing." Talen said.

"I said mean things too." I sighed. "It's the reason why they tell you to keep your mouth shut in high emotional situations. I couldn't help it though. I got so angry."

"I understand. I'll take over. You can go to sleep." Talen said. I yawned and agreed. I went over to my tent. "Hey Nia?" I looked back. "Thank you."

"You're welcome Talen." I said. I went into my tent and wrote all I could. I'm sure I gave Talen something to think about on this journey and I'm glad I was there for him.

9:30 Guardian 23rd

Nothing happened yesterday only that Sten and I had some meditation training. He would explain some of the Qun to me and I would listen diligently. He had another training method than Eren. It actually resembled Tai Chi more than any other form. It was about absolute perfection in stances. There was nothing to think about other than YOU are the weapon and in front of you was the enemy. It was very calming experience and helped me with my semi foul mood yesterday.

Today we had clouds rolling in but these were mostly ones that were white. Not the grey heavy ones in which you knew that snow or rain was coming. The only downside was that it got chilly with all the wind. I was able to see my breath as we were in the wagon. Leliana was using the blankets to cover herself as she was the one out in the weather while we had the comfort of the wagon.

Talen was going over two big tomes simultaneously. He explained to me that he got one from Levi and the other was filled with Avernus' research. He read and read then he would jump to the next tome while writing down theories and practical uses from it. He disliked how much his research went into the Grey Warden's own blood but he said he might be able to derive a better Joining slurry from it. It was all magical theory that I couldn't really understand and Sten didn't want to hear any of it.

A little after the afternoon, I was struck from my daydreaming and slight humming when the wagon came to a full stop. Leliana looked to us from her seat.

"It seems we have been followed for some time." Leliana explained. That put us all in the fighting mood. I had my daggers on the ready, Sten got his sword, and Talen grabbed his staff. Leliana led us from the main trail to another trail that would lead us into the forest. I kept on glancing out of the wagon to see a few figures using the snow and trees to disguise them.

"How long?" I asked.

"Since we left our camp." Leliana said tersely. I nodded. The wagon stopped. "They expected this." Leliana got out of her seat and we got out. From the front, where Leliana stood, was a qunari mercenary as well as an elven mage. We had two other figures following us with a wolf at their side. There was a frozen river along us and a cliff overlooking the trail. From the cliff, there was one single person who had shining armor.

Was this Leliana's quest? But I haven't even asked her anything concerning how she got to Ferelden! Or maybe it wasn't me. Was it someone else? I didn't have much time to think when the two warriors and wolf came toward us. Talen did a quick barrier before sending out a plumage of fire toward the first guy which was soon screaming in agony. Sten had rounded to go help Leliana. I jumped out of the way of the wolf but nearly lost my footing. I was close to the river. Talen used the snow to push the wolf into the ice.

I had to avoid another slash of a sword from the second guy. The good thing about snow was that there wasn't much friction to keep me from sliding all over the place to avoid him. Once I centered on his back, I pushed him into the frozen river. Talen controlled the ice toward his staff and solidified it. He grunted in exertion and used the tip of his staff as a sledgehammer. The ice cracked as the wolf and guy ran toward us. Talen roared and did it again, shattering the ice. The water took the guy and wolf.

We ran toward the front of the wagon where Leliana had hid behind a rock to avoid the mage while Sten had ran his sword through the other Qunari. Sten showed incredible agility when avoiding the mage's attacks. When the elven mage realized that she couldn't do much damage, she ran over a bridge leading up to the cliff.

"Careful Sten! They might have a trap hidden in the snow!" I explained, running up to him. Leliana came along with us as Sten nodded and stayed away. The mage seemed to be getting ready for a large attack before Talen came up and did a barrier. She threw a blizzard at us but we were protected. We had forgotten the guy on the cliff unfortunately who had a crossbow.

I saw him aim toward Leliana and he let loose an arrow. I wasn't able to get there in time but Talen had jumped in front and took the arrow to the shoulder. He cried out in pain before Leliana swiftly did a head shot at the mage and went running toward the cliff, jumping over the spot where the mage was avoiding. I went along with her and Sten stayed with Talen.

I've never seen Leliana so angry when she used her own kick to the guy's face. He recoiled before aiming his crossbow again, only to have Leliana's small dagger stab him on his forearm. He cried out, kneeling in pain and letting go of his crossbow. Leliana came up and kneed him in the face and knocked him out. I came up with my daggers but she stopped me.

"No, let him live. This ambush was planned for us and I want to know why." Leliana glared at the man. I nodded. I went down the cliff and threw the mage's body on top of the trap. It turned out to be a bear trap that bit into her dead body. Sten and Talen walked along the bridge. I stopped Talen, grabbed the arrow, and yanked it out.

"Ow! Give me a warning next time!" He said, healing himself.

"It was better without it." I said. We went up the cliff where Leliana had restrained the man's hands and dumped his crossbow over the edge.

"Talen, can you wake him?" Leliana asked. Talen gathered snow in his hands before melting it and dumping it on top of the man. He sputtered as the water made the blood run down his face. He looked up and groaned at our group.

"I'm guessing I got captured." He spat.

"Yes. Tell me who you are." Leliana started but he stayed quiet. "Nia." I went over and put my dagger to his throat.

"Alright, alright! Look, I was told it was supposed to be an easy job. Only one objective: Kill the red-haired girl and deal with the others as we please." He explained.

"Kill the-you were sent to kill me?" Leliana wondered.

"Who wants to kill her?" Talen demanded as I pressed my dagger against his throat.

"I didn't ask of course. There was coin provided for the job, there's no need for the details. Someone pays me to see another dead. I go, do my job, and get my money. I guess I should be lucky I'm spared now. I can tell you all I know." He offered.

"Speak quickly." Leliana said.

"I've no grudge against you. I was paid by someone who I know was already sent by another person but I do know how you can find the one who put the hit on you. I have directions for a house in Denerim in my pocket. If you want to deal with the person who hired me, you can deal with them yourselves." He said. I put my dagger away and searched through his pockets. I found a rolled up vellum with directions and a map.

"Found it." I said. Leliana nodded. She went behind him and cut off the rope.

"Go. I hope to never see you again." Leliana glared.

"I know where my head is. You'll never hear of me." He said, groaning and limping away. Leliana let out a long breath as we all stared at her expectantly. Well, me and Talen. Sten had gone off to get his sword from the Qunari's corpse.

"I can explain, preferably not here." Leliana gave us a small smile. Talen and I nodded. After looting the qunari and mage for any coin, we took Lily out of there and went back on the trail only to stop at an abandoned lodge. We put Lily out in a small stable while we entered and sat down on rickety chairs and shoddy worn stools. Sten didn't care enough and stayed out with Lily.

"I'm sure you have questions." Leliana sighed. She looked at Talen while I watched with a fake curiosity since I knew everything.

"Don't look at me. I didn't say anything to anyone." Talen waved his hands in innocence.

"So is anyone going to tell me anything?" I asked. Leliana bit her lip.

"I lied. When Talen asked how I came to Ferelden, I only said that a storm happened and I stayed. That wasn't the truth. I came to Ferelden because I was framed, betrayed by the person who I thought was a friend. A person who I loved, my mentor and friend Marjolaine. She taught me the way of the bardic arts, how to carry myself as a noble woman or disguise myself as a lowly servant. She showed me how to enchant with tales, words, and songs. I served her because she was my bard master and because I loved her. I also enjoyed playing the game." Leliana looked guilty. Talen and I looked at each other.

"You told me you were a bard before becoming a Chantry Initiate and also who trained you. What happened afterward?" Talen wondered.

"We were in Denerim. We had our fun and our mission to plant documents. When we infiltrated the Denerim estate, I saw what she was planting. Documents about the Orlesian military." She explained.

"You opened them didn't you?" I said.

"Yes." She nodded. "I had a feeling that I needed to know what was in those documents. Marjolaine…she had been selling information about Orlais to several countries." She furrowed her brow. "It was treason."

"And you thought it was wrong." Talen crossed his arms.

"I had asked her about it. I feared for her life. I tried convincing her that this was wrong and would lead to her death. She agreed with me and had me convinced that we would set what was wrong, right. As we went back to the estate, she had the guards come in, framing me for what she had done. The guards captured me and my friends. They had me…tortured before threatening to send me back to Orlais so they can have my head. A friendly Mother came and helped me. I tried saving my friends but I lost one and saved another." She explained. I was surprised that what I heard wasn't the usual confession but nodded anyway.

"After that?" I asked.

"Mother Dorothea allowed us sanctuary at the Chantry. Marjolaine had seduced her as Dorothea held the documents and stole it from her. It would have caused another war between Ferelden and Orlais. She was guilty for being caught by the game and came to save me and my compatriots. I wanted revenge and she helped me track down Marjolaine. She had told me that Marjolaine had fled to Amaranthine to catch a boat there along with the guard that had imprisoned me. We fought and I killed the guard that had captured me and my friends but she caught me at a moment of weakness." Leliana stopped to wipe her tears and I saw Talen clench his hands into fists.

"She had told me that she was only merely playing the game. I had something against her and so she acted first before I could. Her nature of a bard to secure her future. I was distraught. After all this time being with her, loving her, doing everything for her…and she sold me away the chance I could have done something to her. In the end, I couldn't kill her. I was troubled and found myself in the Chantry again. My compatriots had decided they had enough and left. I was alone but with the Chant, I had found peace. With that peace, I ventured to Lothering to stay in the Chantry." Leliana ended the story.

"It wasn't your fault." I said.

"I know but why after all this time has she come to look for me?" Leliana wondered. I got the directions in my hand and looked at it.

"Well we can ask that in person. I know where this is. I know we have to look for Brother Genitivi but this is also important. Say the word Leliana and we'll look for Marjolaine." I nodded. Talen nodded too. Leliana gave us a relieved smile.

"Thank you. I feel like a burden has been lifted from my shoulders." She sighed and rested her hand over her heart.

"We're here for you, always." Talen said with conviction. She nodded and smiled.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku**

 **Sorry for the late update but my hormones made me go into a slight anxiety attack which took up three days to get over. Luckily it's over-over. Also, another girl is on the way! Poor Ace, he's going to be the only boy**

 **Thank you Nely Winged for favorting/following! Thank you Chimera Spyke and Syutaku for reviewing! Please Review!**


	68. Marjolaine

9:30 Guardian 24th

We got to the outskirts of Denerim in early morning. Leliana was eager to find Marjolaine and that was all well and good but…the expression on Leliana's face was hard. I got into the packs to get the disguises. Talen, Leliana, and I were going in as Chantry people. Sten was going to remain in the stables to make sure no one takes the wagon and our supplies. We would be down one person but it was better to go in a smaller group. Talen was the one that grumbled the most about it.

Leliana did a French braid and added flowers to it. We gave him the robes with the high collar to hide his prominent adam's apple. Leliana hummed as she applied some make up to hide his semi-manly features. He had a huge scowl on his face that I think could have swallowed Denerim whole.

"This is the most embarrassing thing I've ever done." Talen growled.

"Oh come now, you look marvelous!" Leliana giggled. At least this brought her some happiness.

"At my expenses." Talen huffed before I shoved the staff into his padded bosom.

"We'll say you got a limp. Remember to smile!" I gave him a toothy grin and Talen glared at me.

"Why did I even agree to this in the first place?" He mumbled.

"I know." I sang out while my eyes drifted toward Leliana that stuffed our packs with my daggers and arrows. We couldn't take her bow as that would be too noticeable. They were the only things we could take as our armor would be too inconspicuous to wear. In the end, we were going in with only our weapons. Of course there was that warehouse that we had that we could steal from but I'd rather not get into a tussle with the guards right now. I carried the pack while Leliana led our weird Chantry group. Talen had his head in a scarf to hide his ears and did his best to walk with a fake limp.

Once we got to the guards, Leliana batted her eyes, chanted something from the Chant, said this amazingly sorrowful tale about how we barely made out of Lothering with our lives, and almost threw herself at the guard. He let us in. We got past the gates and ended up around the inn district. This is where most people come around and house themselves. It was situated right past the gates while the market district was further in. That messed up pile of barricades and torn down homes during the Archdemon's attack? Those were all these buildings.

Once inside, Leliana led us to an abandoned warehouse where we took off our Chantry clothing. Leliana wasn't about going in without armor. Amazingly, there was a small cache she stored here back when she worked as a bard. We ripped open the floorboard in a corner and found a set of armor. Average but at least we weren't going in unprotected.

"I'm sorry but we don't have any mage robes." Leliana apologized and Talen shrugged.

"That's fine. Can I at least take this off though?" Talen asked as he waved at his face. Leliana and I laughed before she nodded. Talen used the robes to rub out the makeup. Leliana handed me tight leather armor that were snug in bad places. I ended up just wearing the top part. I left the leather pants back in the cache and settled for my black ones. Talen wore a small chest plate along with a tight leather jacket. The pants were slightly baggy but he pushed them into his boots so they wouldn't drag.

Leliana had one of her older leather armors in there. When she put them on, she found that she had gained some weight. I saw her struggle with a few of her belts. I chuckled while Talen was outside on watch.

"Do not say a word." Leliana glared at me. I motioned that my lips were sealed. Eventually she had to concede that yes she got fatter and had to loosen the belts. Finally she grabbed a bow from the same cache. It was shorter than her usual longbow but she would make due. After strapping our weapons to ourselves, we met up with Talen who was putting his hair back into his signature braid.

"We're prepared then?" Leliana wondered.

"Yep so there are two things we're looking for, your old teacher and Brother Genitivi." I said, taking out the map from my pack, I looked over the directions again. "Marjolaine should be further away from the Market district, a block away. I know that area. Quiet and there's a mage living secretly there." Leliana raised an eyebrow at that. "What? Gossip is rampant in Denerim, you know that."

"True." She nodded.

"I'm not sure where Genitivi's home is but, last I heard, he should be near the Gnarled Noble Tavern which is a few streets away from the main marketplace. Leliana, I'm leaving this decision up to you." I said, putting the map away.

"Me? Why?" She asked.

"You have personal business here. If you want to deal with that first, all you have to do is ask." I offered and Talen nodded.

"We don't know if this Marjolaine might make the first move. I'm pretty sure if she's as paranoid as you believe, then she has another plan for you if you make it to her." Talen explained. Leliana took a contemplative look.

"I would rather deal with Marjolaine as soon as we can, please." Leliana nodded.

"Alright, follow me guys." I said. I led them away the warehouse. It took a second to recognize the streets but I was able to find our way toward the market district easy. My heart pined for a second for Rael but I doubt he would want to see me after what happened. I managed to find the street that was listed on the paper. It was a modestly sized home but unlike the others that were surrounding it, this one wasn't kept clean. Leliana got her bow ready and Talen was already charging spells. I took a breath in to steady myself and held my daggers.

As soon as Leliana opened the door, we were beset by two very large Qunari warriors. Talen did some quick thinking and placed glyphs of ice on the ground. When they stepped on it, a large icicle went through both of them. One was still alive, the better armor of the two. Leliana quickly put the guy out of his misery. We passed the loft into the main room.

Marjolaine was there, sipping tea with a calm smile on her face. Her face looked stretched as she was too skinny. The noble clothes that she wore were semi hanging off her small frame. Oddly enough, she was a tad shorter than Leliana when she got up. In her eyes, she had already won. Those cold brown eyes bore into Leliana, Talen and I were not in her mind at all. That smile looked desperate on her thin lips. It took all my self-control not to tackle her to the ground after all she allowed happen to Leliana.

"Leliana! Oh it's been so long! You still have not changed your hairstyle, it's been years. You look lovely." Marjolaine complimented. To someone who wasn't trained, like me, that would have sounded genuine. I knew that she was trying to play both of us so everything she said I took with a grain of salt.

"And you still have not changed your defenses." Leliana said sweetly.

"Meaning we killed your guards." Talen glared.

"Do not disrupt us, rabbit." Marjolaine looked down on Talen. He mouthed, 'rabbit?' and I shook my head.

"Let us skip the pleasantries Marjolaine, we are not here as your guests." Leliana's hand tightened on her bow.

"And there's really no point in explaining yourselves to us. We know you sent a mercenary group to kill Leliana because of your massive paranoia so how about we just skip to the chase." I said.

"Oh come now. This is not all about business." Marjolaine waved me off.

"You framed me! Betrayed me, surrendered me to the guards! Did you even care that I was tortured?" Leliana's voice broke. "I thought if I stayed in Ferelden, I would be free of you and I realized that I was not. What did I cause you to hate me so? Why do you seek my death?" Leliana demanded.

"Your death?" Marjolaine gasped and held her hands to her chest, as if that would make her look hurt. "I sent those men because I know what you are capable of. Those mercenaries, pft," She waved her hand, "You can easily dispatch. I sent them so you can find me and see? Here you are."

"I swear if she lies one more time, she's well on her way to become a politician…" I mumbled under my breath.

"Why are you here Marjolaine? Why are you in Ferelden?" Leliana pushed and finally that happy demeanor of Marjolaine fell. Her mask fell off.

"Truthfully? You have information that can be used against me. To secure my safety, I cannot let you be. Did you truly think you escaped from me? That I did not know where you were? That I was not still watching you?" Marjolaine twisted her words and I saw that Leliana's resolve was wavering.

"I swear your paranoia has controlled you." I stepped up. "Yeah, Leliana caught you in your web of lies and deceit, found out that you were playing both sides to get what you want. What is it that you want? Coin? Power? Either way, Leliana won't stoop down to your level. No way she was going to use that against you even if the opportunity presented itself. You see, she found peace and tranquility, something that you lack. Let me guess, you were worrying all this time about how one day she will stab you in the back, that you have to be constantly vigilant just in case right? I'm sure all those sleepless nights, those days where you couldn't even touch your food served you well." As I said more, the more fear presented itself on Marjolaine's face. I hit it right on the nail. All this time, her growing paranoia was killing her.

"If you thought she left Lothering just because she wanted to get back at you, you're dead wrong. Leliana knew she was meant to do something more. She's helping the Grey Wardens fight against the Blight. This stupid notion about her world revolving around you has gone far enough." Talen stepped up too.

"Hah! It seems you have fooled them with your 'simple girl' act! This is a trick. She will only use you." Marjolaine's voice dripped with poison.

"I am not you! I left Orlais, I left that life behind me because I didn't want to become you!" Leliana shouted.

"Oh but you see Leliana, you are me. We are one and the same. You cannot escape it. No one will understand you better than I. Your reputation of a master manipulator is because you enjoyed the game. You took delight in the power it gave you. You cannot deny or change this." Marjolaine smirked.

"You made her this way just so you can use her!" I rushed forward and sucker punched Marjolaine. She fell to the ground as I grabbed her by the collar. "You saw how she was! You took her under your wing, exploited her for her natural talent and then dumped her on the side of the road like trash when you couldn't use her anymore! She loved you, trusted you and you pushed her aside as if she was a toy you grew tired of! Even then, my words will never reach through your narcissistic mind that only cares about yourself! Leliana!" I turned toward her. She was rigid. "You can end this now once and for all. Marjolaine will eventually kill herself with her obsession with you or we can do her in now."

Marjolaine smirked and did a high pitched whistle. The two side doors opened and Marjolaine cut my cheek with a hidden knife. Two more Qunari and two mages came out. Talen immediately put up a barrier for us. Leliana shot through one Qunari's head. I bounced around and tripped a Qunari into the range of the fire cone of the enemy mage. The Qunari's armor melted into his skin. As that mage realized what he had done, I had sliced his throat open. Talen had stopped the other mage with a small fireball while Marjolaine and Leliana were stuck in a battle of daggers.

Marjolaine had a crazed look on her face. Leliana had a hard expression. Marjolaine's swings looked wild but they were all gunning for weak points of the human body, neck, ribs, stomach, and thigh. Talen and I were in the back, watching everything. Talen constantly put up barriers around Leliana to protect her. Marjolaine tripped on her clothing. An opportunity was taken and Leliana did a small slice on Marjolaine's neck. It wasn't enough to kill her though.

I had managed to go behind her though. When she was caught off guard by the slash, I came up and put Marjolaine in a choke hold. She wasn't going to go down though as she tried stabbing me with her knife but I grabbed her wrist and slammed her into the floor. She coughed in pain from biting down on her tongue. I put my dagger to her throat and looked at Leliana. There was a myriad of emotions floating through her eyes.

"Leliana no matter what she said or what you are believing, you are you. Your beliefs are your own and whatever she cultivated in you are your own too. You have always been free of her. Leliana is Leliana and Marjolaine is Marjolaine. Even if you do become powerful by going back into the game, you are never going to do it unless you had to for a reason. You will never use it to snatch power or to fill your pockets. I believe in you Leliana so don't think you have to carry this burden by yourself." I explained as the dagger traced Marjolaine's neck. "Leliana, tell me what you want to do."

"You don't have to kill her but we can make it so that Marjolaine won't be able to do any more harm." Talen channeled magic into his hands. It was a tense silence all around and Marjolaine squirmed underneath me.

"What can you do?" She turned to Talen.

"Either get rid of a limb or get rid of a sense." He mentioned. Leliana bit her lip.

"It's either kill her or torture her for the rest of your life. You can't just let her go. Eventually Marjolaine will plan something again and I'd rather not let her get the better of you in case something happens." I suggested.

"No, it's better to give her the mercy of death." Leliana got her knife but I shook my head.

"Then we can share the burden together." I said as I plunged my dagger into her neck. Blood spurted out before Marjolaine did a final death gurgle. I felt a stabbing pain in my heart from taking another life but I want to share this with Leliana. She didn't deserve to handle everything on her own. Leliana gasped.

"We…I…she's dead." Leliana's knees gave out and Talen was immediately at her side. I got up and noticed that I was covered in blood.

"I'm going to see if they have a water pump." I said softly as I patted Leliana's shoulder. I found a pump and cleaned up as best as I could. I leaned against the wall, letting what I did sink in again. I repeated my husband's words in my mind and messed with my ring. He wouldn't blame me. He wouldn't tell me it was my fault. I was only helping a friend. That's all I wanted to do. I wanted to help and ease the burden on Leliana's heart.

I got up from cleaning myself up. Talen and Leliana were talking softly to each other. I could tell that Talen wanted to do more than talk. I came up and hugged Leliana from behind. She was crying slightly. She sniffed and dried her eyes.

"It's over now. There's nothing else for us here." Talen got up and we followed him out. The sun was nearly started to set and Leliana gained her bearings.

"Thank you, both of you for being here." Leliana said softly.

"We're always here for you, no matter what." Talen said with conviction. Leliana smiled softly and nodded.

"Then let's head on and try to find Genitivi." I mentioned. We walked further in before the street started to become packed and we were in the heart of the market district. People were everywhere from the elves of the alienage to the nobles over by the tented shops. My heart was thumping in my chest. I was mostly concerned if I saw Rael. I had no idea how he would react or how I would react. It would be best to not see him at all. Fate is tricky though, I have to admit that.

"You think we can find that one shop with magical stuff?" Talen asked.

"That was perfectly eloquent Talen." Leliana lightly chuckled.

"Hey I've never been anywhere like this! It reminds me of the mess hall back in the circle. I mean, the Ostagar camp was big but that was used for war. There are so many things here!" Talen kept on getting distracted by the many stalls.

"They only focus on clothing, jewels, as well as rarities in the center. The weapons and armor district is further from here. If you were wondering about the Wonders of Thedas, it is around another corner from the noble tavern." I explained.

"So there is a magic shop!" Talen said gleefully. With that, he accidentally bumped into someone. A man with armor, blonde hair and facial hair. Talen went to apologize before recognition flooded his eyes. "Shit."

"Wait…" The man grabbed Talen's shoulders to get a good look at him. "I know you. A Grey Warden! You left our men and our king to die."

"Ser Landry." Talen gulped. "You were part of Loghain's men. Of course you wouldn't know what really happened." Talen glared. I saw that we were gaining attention.

"Talen…" I warned.

"I know the truth. I was there, I saw what happened. You must duel me for the honor." Landry explained.

"Isn't there too many variables concerning how the battle went down? If your men, Loghain's party, was as guilty as you are, why didn't anyone help? Why did Loghain order your retreat? If not, why didn't he try to at least save Cailan? Wouldn't you be in the wrong for killing someone innocent?" Talen didn't stand down. I saw the doubt cross Landry's eyes.

"That is…I feel that you are guilty but there are circumstances that are not easily passable. Once I find evidence of your treachery, your order will answer for it." Landry said, bumping into Talen on purpose before being lost in the wave of people. I grabbed Talen and Leliana and made a dash toward the end of the market.

"Jesus Christ Talen! I'm sure that I lost a few minutes of my life because of that." My heart pounded loudly as we got out of the district and into the other shops that were houses in buildings.

"It isn't something that we saw happening. Few know how the Grey Wardens look like." Leliana defended.

"Yeah but Talen got rid of his makeup and went back to his old self and hair. So if the poster looked like him, we're already done." I shrugged. Talen held onto his braid protectively.

"I like my hair the way it is…" He mumbled. I rolled my eyes.

"Anyway, we got into a minor setback but we have to be really careful from now on. We will put you into make up again if this happens, mark my words." I threatened slightly. Talen gulped. "We're going the right way though. The noble tavern is only a street away."

"Are you ok?" Leliana came up beside me.

"Well, yeah, for the most part." I kept my eyes on the road.

"You've been jumpy." Talen frowned.

"No I have not." I grumbled.

"Is this about your friend?" Leliana wondered. I stopped in my tracks. I groaned audibly.

"Yeah it is. I…don't know how to face him or what to do or say if I meet him again. I'm just…bleh." I rubbed my face.

"Come on, it's not like he just wanders around the market nearly every day does he?" Talen scoffed before we turned the corner…and ran right into the person I was talking about. Rael was with another elf dude when he caught my eye. Talen saw that I stopped and took a step back. The flight was making its way into my legs. I took two more steps back before Leliana grabbed my arm.

"Didn't you say the Wonders of Thedas was around this corner!?" Leliana giggled. Talen gave her a look of 'what the hell are you doing?'

"Nia…surprise to see you." Rael cleared his throat. Leliana snuggled herself into me more.

"Yeah, I haven't been here since last time." I gulped. "But I can't stay and talk. I have business. If you'll excuse us." I walked past him and Talen eyed Rael a little. Talen was an inch shorter and it was odd seeing how they contrasted from Rael's dark skin to Talen's more light tan. Green met honey and Talen gave an uninterested scoff before joining me and Leliana.

"Was that-?" Leliana started.

"Yep and we are leaving and finding Genitivi now." I said quickly.

"He's not all that." Talen shrugged.

"Jesus, one in a thousand freaking chances and I had to bump into-"

"Nia!" Leliana dragged me in as we neared one of the horse drawn streets. The pain in my heart was pounding through my chest, into my ears, and behind my head. Seeing Rael, seeing the way he was uncomfortable around me…I looked behind us and he was nowhere. So this is what it feels like to be abandoned.

"I…just wanted to help a friend." I said softly. I gulped down the tightness in my throat and Leliana hugged me.

"You helped me." Her words whispered in my ear. I felt a sense of comfort when Leliana said those words. The burden was lighter than before but it will remain there so long as Rael can't come near me. There was no point in thinking about it. I had saved his life right? Some good deeds should be left as they are. A friendship for his life was as good as I could give it to him.

"Thank you. We took a wrong turn. The tavern was at the right." I explained.

"Hey, who's better looking me or him?" Talen wondered. I gave him a flat stare.

"Really?" I raised my eyebrow.

"What? I'm curious." Talen frowned. I chuckled which grew into a laugh. Talen gave me a smirk and I wondered if this was his plan all along.

* * *

 **Beta'd by FearaNightmare and Syutaku!**

 **Beta was late again. FearaNightmare mostly discusses themes and tone, Syutaku edits. He's good though something I have to give him a push in the end lol**

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	69. Fake Weylon and Leliana's choice

9:30 Guardian 24th

I pushed the event of Rael out of my mind. There was no time to think about what happened. We had a job to do, a goal to accomplish, and that was to figure out where Genitivi has gone. I already knew but, even then, I don't know exactly where Haven is. Haven…the name always brings up the future. Well, no worries about that!

We found the tavern. Leliana went in and asked about Genitivi. They said that he lived nearly in front, three doors adjacent to the tavern. Once we got that, we walked over to the house and knocked. No one came through.

"Maybe he's in the bath?" Talen wondered. I jangled the door and it was open.

"If he was then he needs to have the locks replace." I went in with the others following me. We went past the foyer and there was a single man at the table. There were papers on the table strewn about. He noticed us and quickly covered up the papers with the table cloth.

"Ah visitors." He got up.

"We were looking for Brother Genitivi. We knocked but no one answered. Since the door was open we allowed ourselves inside. Is he here?" I asked.

"And who are you?" Talen wondered.

"Oh…" The man fidgeted before getting up. He was slouching slight, keeping close to the table. I saw Leliana's eyes flicker slightly. Something has caught her eye. "My name is Weylon, Genitivi's assistant. If you wish to meet with him, I'm afraid you'll have to leave disappointed. He's been gone for several weeks."

"Do you know where he's gone?" Talen wondered.

"No don't ask me that. I'm sure his research on the Urn is what brought you here but Maker knows where he is now. I have not seen or heard word of him. I fear the worst. His research of the Urn of Sacred Ashes might have put him in danger." Weylon explained.

"Danger? I'm sure the urn is merely a lost relic. There can't be danger surrounding it if it's been lost for centuries." Leliana said.

"Maybe the urn was lost for a reason! I-I tried to send for help but the knight from Redcliffe came looking for him and his research. I have sent them to where Genitivi last contacted me and they have all vanished." Weylon fidgeted with his fingers.

"How do you know they have vanished?" Leliana asked.

"Th-they haven't contacted me at all." Weylon stuttered.

"Where have they vanished?" I asked.

"No. I won't tell you. You'll only follow them and meet the same ill-fate as they have. Searching for the Urn is a curse. A holy relic like the urn shouldn't be found." Weylon insisted.

"I'm sure we're stronger than the knights you helped. Tell us." Talen said.

"Fine." Weylon sighed. "He recently told me that he would be staying at an inn at Lake Calenhad. He found evidence there and went to investigate."

"How recent could he have told you? You said he had been gone for weeks." Leliana caught on.

"You are hiding something, aren't you?" I said.

"No! I have told you everything I know!" He started to panic. "Brother Genitivi told us-told me about the inn and that's all!" I grabbed onto my daggers and rushed forward, my knuckles boring into his stomach. Weylon coughed and made retching sounds before I tripped him. I put my boot on his chest and he coughed out air.

"You want to start telling us the truth this time?" I asked. Weylon glared at me before his hands started to light with magic.

"Andraste forgive me, I do this in your name!" He shouted as I stepped back and avoided his lightning spell. Leliana was a quick draw and got his heart with an arrow. Weylon stumbled toward the table before pulling on the cloth and falling dead on the floor, the papers flying around.

"Why would his assistant attack us?" Talen went and prodded Weylon. I went to the back door and opened it, a foul smell coming from the room.

"Ugh, that's why." We all came into the back room and found a corpse stuffed into the room's back corner. On the desk next to the mattress was a very worn journal. Talen picked it up and leafed through the pages before something fell out on the ground. Leliana picked it up and we found a map with directions to the village of Haven. There were sparse notes but all summed up that this is where Genitivi last went.

"Someone planted a fake assistant and kept anyone from going to this village. This is where we shall find our wayward Brother." Leliana said, putting the map into her pack.

"Well we found all we needed to find. Let's get going." I said. Leliana and Talen nodded. We went to the abandoned warehouse without any fuss and put on our chantry clothes again. We stepped out and headed toward the stables. We found Sten listening to the Horsemaster of Denerim. Oddly, Sten was listening intently before noticing our approach.

"Fine day to you my qunari friend." The Horsemaster left and Sten looked at us with a stare.

"We got what we needed. We have to go to Redcliffe and regroup." I explained. Sten nodded and we all got into the wagon. Leliana headed out with Lily, the last of the sunset falling through the background. We got as far as Dragon's Peak before we settled in the forest surrounding it. It was as small as Redcliffe though they were primarily focused on farming and logging.

Leliana had taken first watch. I was in the tent while Talen and Sten slept in the wagon. I couldn't sleep again either. What happened with Marjolaine and Rael stuck with me today. In the end, after tossing and turning for an hour, I got out. Leliana was staring into the fire, singing quietly. She noticed my presence and gave me space on the log she was sitting on.

"You have something on your mind don't you?" Leliana asked.

"I was about to ask you the same thing and I'm worried about you." I answered. Leliana sighed and threw more of the bark into the fire.

"I've been thinking about what happened between me and Marjolaine in Denerim. I spent years in Lothering and yet Marjolaine thought I was still plotting against her. All this time, I thought she trusted me when I was her apprentice but she never did. When she had me in the palm of her hand, when she could use me and control me, she loved me. When she no longer needed me, all she wanted to see was my death. I thought I knew her but I realized…I never knew her." Leliana explained.

"That happens and it does suck when we realize it. In the beginning, she never thought of anyone else but her. All she did was don the mask of the caring mentor. Once she got what she needed, she got rid of you. It's hard to understand why she did it and it's best that we don't. Even at the best of relationships, everyone has something to hide." I said.

"I knew how ruthless she can be but not how far she would go to attain what she sought. She was self-absorbed and cruel." Leliana's voice took a hard edge but I could see the way she shook. "She took people in and introduced them to the life she led. Once she was done with you, she disposed of you and that is how she lived her life…Then after thinking about all of this, I can't help but think what if we're the same? What's if she's right? What if I am just like her? Maybe…" Leliana held her face in her hands. "Maybe I should have stayed in the Chantry."

"You said the Maker wanted you to-"

"Maybe I was wrong about the Maker!" Leliana cut me off. She stood up and walked away from the fire. "I know you doubt me. Everyone doubts my vision! Even in the cloister, they doubted me but I felt safe there. My life as a bard was forgotten. I felt peace. I didn't need to watch my back all the time for someone waiting to backstab me. Marjolaine let that consume her, it made her into what she was and it will ruin me too!" Leliana bit her lip and stared into the fire, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "It's already happening. When I saw you kill her, even if it wasn't I dealing the finishing blow…to see her dead in front of my eyes…It gave me the grandest satisfaction." Leliana explained.

"She framed you, betrayed you, and left you for dead." I stated.

"That is no reason to find joy in her death! That is what she would feel, what SHE would do! I don't want to become like that." Leliana shouted, her feelings becoming stronger and stronger with every word. "The things we've done and we're doing, it exhilarates me, it excites me. It's scaring me Nia, I feel myself slipping." Leliana hugged herself. "I went into the Chantry, hoping that it would show me another path. I thought that I was through with this life. Am I wrong?" Leliana looked at me, hoping to find an answer with me. There were two ways I could have done this of course. I could tell her, yes she is turning into Marjolaine. I could tell her to find solace in the Chantry and that she shouldn't focus on those feelings of accomplishment from going back into this kind of life but this isn't a game. This was her life. She needed me to tell her something. The world isn't black and white and neither are your feelings.

So I chose neither.

"Sit down Leliana." I patted my space. Leliana was hesitant but did so. I was quiet for a moment before breathing in.

"My betrayal was different from yours. I'm sure that you and Marjolaine probably were something a little closer than mentor and apprentice. When I was young, I wanted to help people but didn't really know how to go about it. In the end, I found someone but things weren't good from the beginning. We were both in the wrong for using each other and it became a toxic relationship for both of us. We eventually broke up in the end but I couldn't stop remembering all the things he did me wrong. The things he said, the secrets he gave away, the things he threatened me with, and what he did to me physically." I remembered the lowest point of my life. The feeling where I felt I was a prisoner in my own home. I couldn't even call my other friends or even talk to them and the utter fear of leaving to find him outside.

"Of course things got better. I found my husband, I got everything I wanted. I heard that he was going through a tough time. When my friend told me everything that was happening with it, I relished the feeling of finally knowing he's suffering, that he's getting what he deserved for what he did to me. Those feelings are natural Leliana. Our emotions are complex and feeling happy that someone got their payback is not wrong. What is wrong though is how Marjolaine was. She was narcissistic, only thinking about herself. Didn't you see that her paranoia consumed her? How she looked when you finally found her?" I asked.

"She wasn't well…" Leliana mentioned now that she thought about it.

"Exactly. She couldn't find peace in the choices she made. They brought her deeper in her illusions that you were eventually going to kill her. In the end, she chose her own path. If she could have saw that you were serious in your faith, this wouldn't happen. But no, her delusions told her that you were merely biding your time. In the end, it was her delusions that killed her because she forced your hand. You are different though Leliana. You saw the mistakes that she has caused and you have a choice to grow Leliana. If you want, you can become her." I shrugged.

"No." Leliana shook her head.

"On the other hand, you can continue the way you've been. You can still do good things for the world, for others, for your friends and loved ones. No one is telling you not to follow on what you believe is right. Even if you feel those bad emotions, just process them but don't let them consume you. There is a concept that I had back home of good in bad and bad in good. The world isn't black and white, or right and wrong. There are times when you can group them together but in its entirety, the world is grey upon grey." I motioned to my hands.

"Life is a scale and we are the middle. The good and the bad are weighed on our hands. I kill," My left hand went lower, "But I do repent and pray for those that I killed." My hand went back up. "In the end, we are a balance. Yes you find this life exciting but you still stop and help those that need it like the girl in Redcliffe. You didn't just ignore those people in the Chantry. You talked to them and you gave them hope. Yet there is also Leliana that can kill people by shooting them in the heart or right through the head. There are two sides to you but that doesn't mean they have to remain separate." I brought my hands together. "In the end, those two sides come together and become you. You have control of your destiny with the Maker right behind you. You are you because the decision that YOU choose, not the decisions of others." I placed my hand on top of hers and looked her in the eye. "I believe in you Leliana and what you believe is right."

Leliana's tears fell silent before she hugged me tight. I patted her back as she cried into my shoulder. It was one of the things my husband had to teach me. The world was grey, we are grey but we can choose who we are and what we feel. There are times when I get caught up of course. Killing will always be evil to me but I will always repent.

"Thank you for believing in me." Leliana said. "My faith will keep me strong because you showed me that." She broke the hug. "Perhaps I will allow myself some form of comfort now that Marjolaine is gone but I won't stop helping others. I will admit, I was slightly bored in the Chantry." She chuckled lightly.

"It's a life that's hard to choose." I shrugged. "I think that you might have been in Lothering because the Maker sent you to us through there. There are no coincidences in life only what is. I'd like to believe something led you to us."

"Yes." Leliana gave me a bright smile. "You have given me a lot to think about."

"Good because now that I know you're feeling better, I'm going to get shut eye. Don't forget to wake up Talen after this ok?" I said, getting up. Leliana nodded. I went back into my tent and felt better than ever before.

9:30 Guardian 25th

We got hit by some bandits halfway through near the Brecilian forest. They were a small group though and we were able to get in some good hits. After taking their coin away, not like they were going to need it, we were on our way again. Sten and I didn't make small talk, instead we talked philosophy and I tried comparing it to the Qun.

"Everyone serves a purpose under the Qun, and everyone can find purpose under the Qun. No one is different either so long as they are all working together to form one machine right?" I asked.

"We all serve. Nothing is waste and all are one. Even the smallest of men can be reformed. Whether they be warriors, priests, or builders. We all serve." Sten explained.

"But only the tamassarans are the ones that can speak for the Qun right? The ones that go into the writings of…what was it again?" I asked.

"Koslun. They are the only one with a name. The Qun is asit tal-eb-it is to be. We all have our purpose, we all have our order." Sten explained.

"It doesn't sound that bad." Talen hummed. "And everyone can become a Qunari?"

"No. Those that become integrated into our culture are called Viddathari. They serve us and the tamassarans put them where they are needed. They study the Qun and live to understand it. Even I cannot speak for the Qun, only the priests are allowed to do that. I am a warrior." Sten explained.

"Everyone serves a purpose, no matter how small. When looking at it, it's seem pretty cozy but the thing about the Qun is that it revolves around the whole, the 'We' not the person. No individualism, you work like nature." I said.

"We all work as one." Sten said. "It is what is wrong with your culture. Your baker wants to be a merchant, your merchant wants to be a noble, and the noble wants to be a warrior. No one has accepted their place. Your culture is as chaotic as your wars."

"Well you're not wrong there but the individual has been placed with more value than the whole. It's how everyone works out here but this is where the Qun and everything else is different. Your teachings require that everyone must be put into a role. For someone who can't easily find what they can do, for someone to tell them to go and do something they are ok at, it's good. Even then, humanity doesn't regularly follow through. There is the need to find who we are and what we are capable of without assistance. To be able to make something of ourselves and push beyond our limits is something that we all wish to acquire." I explained.

"It is nonsense. You cannot become more than what you are. You are born with traits that make you into a warrior or a priest." Sten said.

"That's the thing, you guys aren't flexible in your teachings. It's all rigid. You are one thing and one thing only until you show competence in something else. Someone who is a warrior can find themselves as something more. Who knows? Maybe they have a knack for farming or maybe even being an ambassador. Shit, I was only a cook until I found myself in Ferelden and now I can fight and protect others. There's a saying, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade." I nodded.

"What's a lemon?" Talen asked. I gaped at him.

"You seriously don't know what a lemon is!?" I nearly yelled and Talen was taken aback.

"There is only certainty and, if there isn't, then there is only cause for chaos. There is a manner and place for all. No one is something more." Sten said.

"But there is always the possibility for something to become more. It's how we can imagine new machines, new spells. The sky is the limit so long is someone works hard enough. Humans used to live in caves and fight with rocks and now look at them." I said.

"Hardly much of a difference." Sten huffed. I laughed at that. Eventually we came at an impasse and we both knew that we wouldn't win each other over so we agreed to disagree. Either way, I could tell that Sten was a little happy to be talking to someone that understood the 'We' mentality. It's nice on paper but considering that there are unscrupulous means to keep everything and everyone in order in the Qun, it makes it not so nice. Saar-qamek is one hell of a poison.

Once nighttime came, Sten and I went back into our meditations and our stances. He walked around as I stood with my weapon. He nodded at my crouching method to make myself a smaller target though he frowned slightly at my armor choice.

"Why must you were something heavy? If you are going to be the one striking in the shadows, you must be quick and precise." Sten frowned.

"I know it's weird but Eren trained me this way. I was trained for two years wearing heavy armor, how to run in it and fight in it. I'm not that slow with it and it also allows me to be in the thick of things." I answered.

"A fight is worse when it drags on. An immediate response to kill our enemy is the most certain way to end a battle." Sten said.

"I agree but we're not exactly fighting against mages and people. We're fighting against darkspawn and they like to swarm. We also need to be careful not to get blood into our system. A defending position is sometimes better than an offensive one. Strategy Sten, the better I'm covered, the lesser chance I'll get infected with the Blight." I explained.

"Your point…is an educated one." Sten grumbled. "If there is a chance of infection, I will cut you down."

"I wouldn't have it any other way big guy." I smiled at him and he huffed. I think I might be getting through to him.

9:30 Guardian 26th

In one more day we should be reaching Redcliffe. We had a rain today which was an improvement over the snow, slightly. It was freezing cold rain but Leliana managed to find us an abandoned home. There were more of these now since the Blight hit. Sten was outside training in the rain while we set up in front of the fireplace to warm up. How Sten did not get a cold was beyond me.

Talen was scribbling between two tomes again, mumbling some words here and there. I didn't know much about magical theory but he seemed really entranced in what Avernus showed him. Leliana looked at him while she cooked us a simple stew of a ram that we had found. Rams mean hinterlands.

"I have thought about what you have said Nia and I will accept all that I have done, all that I feel but will push my faith first. I hope the Maker will see my redemption once I see him." Leliana sighed.

"He will don't worry." I said. I saw Talen looking at us at a side glance before he went back to his work.

"I like you the way you are Leliana. I'm glad you're not going to change." Talen said, writing something else in his tome. Leliana softly smiled at that.

"I owe you an apology." Leliana said. Talen looked up at her. "When I had heard what you were learning from Avernus…I had judged you for learning that branch. I had thought you better than that and was saddened at the path you chose. Ever since we have left Soldier's Peak, you haven't even used it during our battles and was guilty for using it at Redcliffe. I will have faith that you won't be using it irresponsibly."

"What? No way am I using it like others. I'm trying to combine it actually with the Grey Warden's blood and all of that is self-experimentation. I have a theory, well theories, that I'm working on but I'll do it in a manner where it's controlled. I'm not going to let others get hurt by my blood magic. I was serious when I said I was going to research the Blight and how to improve the lands that were wrecked by it. Mark my words, Lothering will be habitable by the time a decade passes. I promised you and I don't break any promises I make." Talen explained, his ears and face getting redder by the minute. He still had that scowl as he was reading but it felt more of embarrassment, rather than anger.

I saw Leliana smile the entire time the stew was cooking. I was torn on what to say especially since Alistair confessed to her but I'll let it play out naturally. I suck at romance after all.

* * *

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	70. Haven

9:30 Guardian 27th

We have arrived in Redcliffe and it was already starting to look really good. Most of the debris has been cleared away and I heard that they were already starting negotiations on getting some loggers to build more homes. I can't help but feel that even if they do start rebuilding, they're going to get attacked by darkspawn again later on once the Blight is in full force. I prayed that most of their work would still stand.

As Leliana gave the reins to Derek who was at the stables, I went out to look for the others. I called down Alistair and Zevran who were both working together. Zevran had steady fingers and, with Alistair's strength, were able to build foundations fairly easy, who knew?

Wynne and Eren were still at the castle. Alfred was playing with the kids and I called him over as well. He nearly tumbled me into the dirt with how happy he was that I was back. Surprisingly, I found Morrigan weaving tales with a few of the children too. These were the ones that I had talked to in the Chantry that had lost their parents and were traumatized. She gave me a look when I called her before giving Mallory one of the feathers from her robes.

"You will not say a word." Morrigan looked down at me as she walked toward the Castle.

"Nah of course I wouldn't dare tell everyone that you were telling stories to children and even giving away your feathers." I stifled my laughter.

"You are growing to be cheeky. Careful or else I might invent a spell to turn you into a toad." Morrigan rolled her eyes.

"Kids are my weakness too. You know, all things considered, I think you might be a good mom." I said as I caught up with her.

"Truly? I wonder exactly where you get these assumptions of my character." Morrigan huffed.

"I'm not that bad at figuring people out. Besides, you can really tell a person's character with how they treat two things; animals and children." I pointed out.

"Whoever told you that?" Morrigan raised a disbelieving eyebrow.

"My husband." I said who took various classes on psychology and wanted to be a therapist. "I know you're a good person. The best I can describe you is awkward."

"I feel so much better now that you have given me your opinion on my state." Morrigan said sarcastically and scoffed.

"You're welcome." I said sincerely while Morrigan walked slightly faster to get to the castle. I know it, other people know it, Morrigan starts off as a cold hearted ice witch but there is someone deeper inside. She may not love the whole world but she can love certain people. Considering how much she loves her son in the future, I'm sure that Morrigan can be defrosted over time too. Hell, Sten is starting to talk to me more. Morrigan will come around.

We walked into the main gates and headed toward the throne room. Teagan was there talking with Eren. He looked over and settled his eyes on me. I looked away, still feeling slightly angry at his decision. Soon all of us trickled into the throne room, the attention was baring down on Leliana, Talen, and I.

"What have you found?" Teagan asked.

"For one, someone was impersonating Genitivi's assistant. He's the one that's been turning away knights of Redcliffe and sending them to Lake Calenhad or other places. We got rid of him and found Genitivi's research as well as a map to a village called Haven." I explained, taking out the map from my pack and handing it to Teagan. "This is probably where Genitivi went missing and could be a place that has the Urn of Sacred Ashes."

"Good work. How soon can you all depart?" Teagan asked, handing the map to Eren.

"As soon as possible my lord, so long as we are allowed to take provisions." Eren nodded.

"Then you are allowed to take any that you need." Teagan said before going upstairs to his room.

"I have left him several potent potions for Arl Eamon. This should be enough for at most 2 weeks. Any longer than that and he may not survive." Wynne explained.

"Then it's best we get going. Gather your things and get as many supplies as you need. We leave tomorrow." Eren said.

"Do you really think the urn exists?" Alistair came up to me.

"Who knows? Maybe we'll find them, maybe we'll find a broken urn that has collected dust. We won't know until we get there." I said.

"Why would ashes of a dead woman be a healer of all?" Zevran wondered.

"From what the Chant says, Havard, one of the disciples of Andraste, felt guilty for not being able to save her from her execution. He was hurt and when touched by the ashes, he was healed and found the strength to take her ashes away. Of course we don't know where he put them. Genitivi's research may have some merit to it." I explained.

"And yet my question goes unanswered." Zevran shrugged.

"Zevran you live in a world where you can visit a spirit world while dreaming and you have experienced magic in front of your eyes and you still can't believe in magical ashes?" I looked at him with disbelief. Zevran just chuckled and put his arm around me.

"There are many things in this world that are still unanswered like why haven't you fallen for my charms?" Zevran wondered.

"Because you're not my type." I took his arm off. Alistair chuckled at that while Zevran glared at him. We went into the kitchens to take away provisions for our trip. The smells of the kitchen reminded me of home. The smells of the spices and herbs mixing in with the smell of baking bread was soothing to me. I took some bread that resembled matza, no leavening products. I added a small jar of jam that was given to me by a servant girl. When I opened it, it smelled of raspberries instead of strawberries. It smelled wonderful.

I took some dried fruit before moving onto the dried meat. You can't survive on protein alone. If you didn't have any sort of fruits or vegetables, your body won't be 100% and I'd rather not get sick during this cold time. I put everything away in a smaller pack inside my bigger pack. Looking around the library I stumbled upon an empty journal. Score! I was writing as small as I could to fit any entries but with this I can go back to my usual. I also found an inkstone to try to write some entries in ink. It would be hard but it doesn't smudge as bad as charcoal. What I wouldn't give for a regular pencil or pen.

I put my pack in my room and decided to do some maintenance on my armor. We were going to end up nearly killing all the people in the village of Haven. I had to go in and make sure it was going to withstand some abuse. I cleaned it, going into the nooks and crannies. I took some oil that was given to me by Derek. This would protect it slightly. I ran my hand over the chest plate, feeling a little sad that the griffon wasn't pressed into it. It was armor built for Grey Wardens but I couldn't even show it.

After doing that, I went off and washed the extra pairs of clothing that I kept before noticing that holes where developing around the inner thigh area. I frowned. That was the downside of having thick thighs for most of your life. I patched it up as best as I could before leaving my clothes to dry near the fireplace. By the time I got everything done, it was already night time. I relaxed in my bed, remembering how it felt before having to sleep out in the wilderness again.

Leliana came in and nodded politely but I could tell there was something on her mind. I saw her getting ready for bed. She sat down and stared in a daze. I got up but it seemed she didn't notice me. I walked over and waved my hand in her face.

"Oh, is there something you need?" Leliana asked.

"Not really, I was wondering if you were ok. You're kinda out of it." I said.

"Ah…" Leliana looked down at her intertwined fingers. "I merely had a talk with Alistair."

"You turned him down didn't you?" I said. She looked at me with wide eyes.

"You knew?" She wondered.

"I had a feeling." I said, sitting next to her and she put her head on my shoulder.

"I told him that we couldn't let our personal feelings get involved in our mission. It was…nice but there is something more that we need to focus on." Leliana sighed.

"It's not wrong you know. When you like someone, you like them. Alistair is a good man. Awkward and he acts like a puppy but he's a good man." I said. Leliana nodded and her hair brushed my cheek. "Or do you have something else on your mind?"

"Perhaps but it's best to leave that be. I've already had so much to go through on our trip to Denerim. Adding romance to the mix might not be the best of options right now." Leliana pulled open her covers and settled into her bed.

"True. You've been through a lot. Rest and let yourself sort it out." I said, running my hands through her hair. Leliana looked at me and I smiled at her.

"I have a confession to make." Leliana said.

"You're really cute Leliana but you do have to remember I'm married." I joked and she swatted me with her extra pillow.

"That is not it." Leliana pouted before settling again. I was running my hands through her hair and I saw that her eyes were drifting. "I…" She buried her face in her pillow and noticed that her ears were slowly turning red. "You are like a mother is all." Her words sounded muffled. I bashfully smiled and felt myself getting red.

"Well I was a mother. Get a good night rest Leliana." I said, patting her head before checking my clothes on the fireplace. They were dried and I put them into my already filled pack. Thank God that we had a wagon. I got ready for bed and slept.

9:30 Guardian 28th

Eren woke all of us before daybreak. The sky was only getting lighter as we walked toward the village. I rubbed my eyes as we were all armored and ready. Derek had gotten Lily ready last night and we put our packs there. Derek went to the seat to guide Lily out. Wynne, Morrigan, Eren, and Talen were in the wagon. Everyone else was walking.

"I seemed to have overheard some gossip yesterday." Zevran said after we had walked out of the village and past the Redcliffe farms.

"What are you an old woman?" I yawned.

"A certain song bird was given a rose and yet she responded with thorns." Zevran said cryptically. I raised an eyebrow before Leliana scoffed and crossed her arms.

"I think that's her business not ours." I said.

"It makes for a good conversation starter no? Why would she reject someone as dashing as our fine Templar?" Zevran wondered.

"I can hear you and it's not welcomed." Alistair pouted. I rolled my eyes. I knew this was going to be a tricky situation.

"They are adults Zevran and I think they handled it without us so we shouldn't pry." I said.

"You are no fun. Tell me my fair headed friend, what drew you to our beautiful bard? I can already list a few items but it is better when two men share their tastes." Zevran waved his hand as he grew closer to Alistair.

"I'm not going to say that right now!" Alistair grew beet red.

"Zevran stop antagonizing Alistair. Just let them keep it to themselves. There's no reason why they need to air their laundry at the rest of us." I said.

"Ah well. Tell me my grey friend, was there anyone you fancied back home?" Zevran sighed dramatically at first before going over to Sten.

"No." Sten said curtly.

"No one? I can only imagine the woman back in your homeland. Tall, robust, filled in all the right places? Well fit." Zevran purred.

"There is no point in speaking of them." Sten grumbled.

"Zevran?" I hummed.

"Yes my lovely woman?" He sauntered over to me.

"Can you please shut it?" I said politely with a smile. Zevran sighed dramatically again before Alistair tapped me on my shoulder and mouthed 'thank you.' I shook my head and we had another comfortable silence.

"How did your husband woo you?" Zevran suddenly piped in.

"Can't you go a minute without wanting to know those private things?" Alistair groaned and rubbed his face.

"It is an honest question! Here we have a beautiful woman and I would like to know what warrants her loyalty!" Zevran looked at me expectantly. Even Leliana was looking at me curiously. Sten and Alfred decided to walk closer to the wagon.

"It was unorthodox I guess. I was completely oblivious to my husband for a good half year and then he saved me. I guess it started off the wrong way too. I never wanted to start another relationship so soon after the last bad one but he kinda shoe horned me into it and I felt like I owed him for helping me. Then everything fell into place when we really got to know each other. He and I were the same in tastes and common interests. He was less compassionate than me and had trouble sympathizing with others but I evened it out with my own compassion. We were the same in interests but different in personality. Our personalities meshed really good. I was the good with the bad and he was the bad with the good." I said, putting my hands together and smiling. "He made me laugh, really laugh, from the bottom of my heart. He might not have been the romantic kind spewing poems or giving me flowers but he was there when I needed him and made me smile." I found myself tinkering with my ring again while Leliana sighed.

"All he had to do was make you laugh?" Zevran raised an eyebrow.

"I'm a simple woman." I shrugged. "All I need is manly hands, some jokes, and an occasional massage from my man apparently." I giggled.

"I can see how he managed to nab you. You don't really ask for anything unlike Morrigan who has her small satchel of jewelry." Alistair mumbled the last part.

"I love jewelry but I'm not about to take from the dead unless it's needed. I stick to the true path of working for what I want. Although if someone were to happen to give it to me, I would take it. It would be rude not to right?" I shrugged and smirked.

"You swindled someone didn't you?" Leliana gave me a playful smile.

"He was trying to court me, as you guys said it, and gave me a ring. I don't wear it of course but I like having it around. Citrine is very pretty." I laughed.

"My opinion of you has changed." Alistair sulked.

"Can't make everybody happy."

9:30 Drakonis 1st

We got lost while trying to find the trail over to Haven. They wanted to remain hidden and it got to the point where all four GWs started to argue amongst themselves who should be leading, which trail we should be using, and how the map and the notes can be read. Eventually Talen gave the notes over to Leliana and Zevran who, with their background, might have found trail pointers on the map.

Leliana figured it out and we were half a day from the first trail. We were closer to the door to Orzammar than anything. Haven should have been near Honnleath from what I remembered. We rested after getting lost, retraced our steps, and found the trail the next day. It was just an entire headache that could have been avoided if the GWs stopped being so stubborn.

We found ourselves finding the gate toward Haven with the headache present over our heads. I felt slightly nervous as Sten's scowl formed deeper and deeper over the days we were lost. I could almost feel the tension surrounding him. I knew what was going to happen and have already prepared something in case Eren can't calm him down.

"I'm guessing a gate in the middle of the mountains might be Haven?" Alistair wondered as we got closer. There was a single guard there that immediately gave us the stink eye as our group approached us. He looked warily at the wagon. Everyone was out as soon as we reached him.

"Halt. What business do you strangers have to do in Haven?" The Guard walked in between us and the gate. If we wanted to, we could have easily passed by him or beaten him. One guard wasn't going to stop us but we weren't here to fight. At least not yet.

"We were merely traveling toward Orzammar. It seems our map isn't as accurate as the one who sold it to us would like to believe." Leliana covered for us quickly.

"The city of dwarves lies northward. If that's your destination, I suggest you leave." The Guard glared at us.

"We've been traveling for a few days my good Ser. Can we ask for some slight hospitality? Do you have an inn? A barn? Perhaps a store that could sell us some provisions?" Alistair added to it. The guard sighed dramatically.

"We have but one shop and one stable. You may stay one night but do not go through our homes like we're some sort of zoo. Keep to yourselves and do not start any trouble and none will be given to you. Please leave as soon as the next dawn." The Guard went back to his post with an eerie glare.

"Thank you very much." Alistair nodded. We walked past the guard and into the town of Haven. It was smaller than I expected it to be. No stairs as of yet but plenty of marked trails. There was a silence that seemed to fog the entire village. We saw no one out and about except for some children that seemed to have snuck away from the group.

Derek found the stables that were nearly overrun with weeds. He rolled his eyes before settling Lily there with some feed and water, tending to her as well.

"Where is everyone?" Wynne wondered.

"Maybe they're frightened of us?" Talen asked.

"Or perhaps there is something they are trying to hide." Morrigan added quietly. As we went further in, passing a few houses, Sten walked up to the front of the group. He stood there and then crossed his arms.

"What strategy are you all planning? To continue north until it becomes south and defeat the Archdemon from its rear?" Sten sternly asked. Everyone in the group stared in shock but the GWs looked at each other.

"What are you talking about big guy?" Derek asked.

"From my understanding, the Grey Warden's goal is to find the Archdemon and defeat it. Instead, we are looking for the charred remains of a woman in a village that has long been forgotten. I have followed in your shadows for far too long and for far too little results. You are all running from battle." Sten announced.

"We are not running from anything." Eren stepped up.

"We are doing this for Arl Eamon so that we can get help defeating the Archdemon." Alistair explained.

"Is that so? I had thought that we were climbing a mountain to find a nearly abandoned village on some trivial whim of yours." Sten glared. Alistair turned red. "If there is no other challenge then I am taking charge of this unusual band of fighters."

"Are you serious right now?" Talen gaped.

"I am." Sten said, taking out his greatsword and planting it in the ground. He was standing, waiting for someone to go up and challenge him. I walked up to him first.

"Sten, that means you are a soldier of the berasaad is that right?" I wondered.

"That is correct." Sten nodded.

"That means you are like a captain in our world. You commanded men underneath you and led them into battle." I said.

"Why must you already say what has been confirmed?" Sten wondered.

"Bear with me for a moment. Sten, in order to fight against an enemy that has numerous forces, commanders, and generals, what would you do?" I crossed my arms.

"I would delegate and increase my forces to fight against them. Strategize against their generals, lay out my forces to tackle theirs, as well as send in fighters to gauge their strength." Sten replied.

"And to do all that you need men right? You are talking about a force of hundreds of men and woman to fight against your enemy. Think of the Archdemon as Tevinter. Would you really go against the whole might of their army with only a handful of skilled fighters like us?" I waved to the rest of us.

"No." Sten glared down at me.

"Then why are you about to do that under your charge? Considering that the Archdemon is an Old God that commands hundreds, if not thousands of darkspawn. What could our group do against a tide of nature like that? We need commanders, soldiers, to fight against their army. You don't fight an army with very few fighters, you get yourself an army as well. These are the steps that are required to gather that army. The Arishok holds power over your forces right?" I asked.

"Yes." Sten nodded.

"Then think of Arl Eamon as your Arishok. Right now, he is what we need to gather our forces against the darkspawn. We don't have time to get another person worthy of the 'Arishok' in our position. We take what we can get. The Archdemon won't be lying in wait for too long and we have to get our shit together in time for its strikes. You don't build an army in a freaking day. You want to take charge right? Then how are you going to pull hundreds or thousands of people against an Archdemon when you can't even understand the very country that's about to fight against it? The odds are stacked against you and you won't be able to strangle every single problem in front of you. Think about it Sten, logically. Do you really have what it takes to gather the country of Ferelden under your banner with the way you go about doing things?" I took a step forward and looked up to him.

His mind was going a mile a second, I could tell. I've hit him with logic, his greatest weakness and strength. Truthfully it is pretty roundabout. I'm sure that Teagan can probably put in his word for us in a Landsmeet but his word doesn't carry as much weight as Eamon. It would be harder for Teagan and double work for us to gain allies. We had a choice in Eamon to get the best chance against Loghain. Eamon knows the war between Orlais and Ferelden, a well-respected man to the country and the nobles. Of course he won't be the only one needed. We still have the treaties concerning the Dwarves and Elves but this would be a big step for us as soon as we acquire Eamon.

"You have made…a sound judgement." Sten took his sword out of the ground and put it away. "I have said what I wanted to say. It is time to move on."

"Good, so are we up for exploring to find the ashes or what?" I said, looking back at the group. There were various gazes of awe and respect even on Eren's face.

"Yeah, of course. How are we going to go about doing that?" Alistair wondered. I gave a sneaky glance to Leliana and Zevran.

"I will check the store." Leliana gave me a smirk.

"I think I saw a door without locks." Zevran hummed.

"You're not thinking of breaking and entering are you?" Wynne wondered.

"At this point, we need to find clues about the Ashes. We won't find anything out in the open. Leliana take Eren, Derek, and Wynne with you. Zevran, Alistair, Morrigan, you're with me. Sten, stay out here with Alfred and make sure that guard is not wary to what we are to do." I ordered. Sten nodded before Alfred went up to the lone guard and started to get his attention.

"It would be better if you were in command." Sten muttered low enough for me to hear as he passed me to go to the guard. My face heated up as Eren took his group over to the shop that was up the trail.

"I must say that this change of pace is rather refreshing." Zevran said as he walked up to the house he mentioned.

"Someone needed to stop Sten from attacking everyone or holding a coup at least." I mumbled.

"And it was skillfully handled. Why then are we being led by those that only have half a mind?" Morrigan glanced to Alistair.

"Oh was that aimed at me? I was thinking you were talking about Eren." Alistair laughed. Morrigan scoffed as Zevran opened the door while the guard was being distracted. We all hurried in and were hit with the metallic and faint rot smell as soon as we were all inside. There was an altar at the far side of the wall in plain sight of the door.

"This is…disturbing to say the least." I said.

"Maybe it's used for food preparation?" Alistair wondered.

"Does meat really bleed that much?" I wondered.

"I'm only trying to be positive. Thinking about the alternative…makes me really want to see my breakfast." Alistair gulped.

"The crows have done rituals that involved sacrifices of blood. It gave them uncanny abilities not much different from blood magic." Zevran looked hard at the blood.

"Human sacrifice to increase their strength? One would not play with such dark arts unless tis for power but power to do what I wonder?" Morrigan said.

"Besides this, we won't find clues in a regular person's house. Let's go see if the others found something." I said. We went out and walked over to the village store before Leliana and the others came rushing out.

"You are not going to believe what we found." Leliana breathed out.

"We found the missing soldiers. They're bodies were all crammed behind next to the produce." Derek shook his head. We heard a high pitched whistle from the lone guard before he was silenced by Sten. It was too late. The alarm was sounded as we saw various bodies coming out of the Chantry that was overlooking Haven.

"Well looks like our answers are running to us now." Alistair chuckled as we got ready to face them down.

* * *

 **Beta'd by Syutaku**

 **I know I took a unprecedented long time and one I didn't even plan. Truthfully my mental state was bad and I had to focus on myself for once. With therapy and my loved ones, things are looking much better! The baby is ever healthy and I'm counting down the final weeks until they are born. Thank you for everyone that is still reading this story and following it! Updates will be sporadic at this time, once I'm more comfortable they will be back on 4 days apart. Thank you for your patience!**

 **Thank you Akashic Records, ferpet (hi again!), Emberflame03, helljumper141, Eclipse-Sol, Sweetheart1975, FireBirdOn, Nightrainrose, and Slendermane for favoriting/following!**

 **Chimera Spyke:** _Love your reviews as always. I love how you pick apart all the dialogue between characters and I'm sorry for the long wait!_  
 **Emberflame03:** _I'm glad you liked it! I'm sorry for the wait!_

 **Please Review!**


	71. Temple of Sacred Ashes

9:30 Drakonis 1st

Fighting against the villagers was…different to say the least. Not only were we being attacked by regular villagers with no armor or any sort of real weapons, this was the first time I had fought against a reaver. In Dragon Age, Reavers are those that gain power through dragon's blood. The ritual for it can be different and many can get several bonuses for it. In Origins they were more closely linked to demons but in Inquisition it was mostly the berserker side that came out. If there was one thing I could explain though from the group of Reavers that came toward us was that chill that you got when you were about to meet something in the deep dark alley, the monster in your closet, the branch that broke while in a dark forest.

Fear. Absolute fear of death that loomed over you.

The regular villagers were downed one by one by spells or Leliana's arrows. The reavers and warriors that came down wore heavy chainmail or plate armor. When one got near me, I felt that chill go down my spine and I let out an involuntary shiver. I met the man's eyes and something flashed in front of me. It was like they had faces of demons, almost screaming at me. I was frozen in fear before Sten came and tackled him, thrusting his sword through the weak part of the armor. I started to breathe again before noticing that my hands were shaking.

"Careful! These guys have weird abilities! Don't get close to them and don't look at them in the face!" Derek shouted as he punted a warrior into a tree.

"Got it!" Alistair shouted as he and Eren pushed another reaver into a house. There was something animalistic in their eyes before they were all taken down. Then arrows started to rain down on us and we ran for cover.

"We need to get at those archers!" Eren shouted. Morrigan had shifted into bear form with Talen and I following closely behind her. The arrows tried to pierce through her form but Talen kept on a barrier surrounding her as she roared and barreled through. I slashed the throat of an armored archer before stabbing my daggers into another villager. Talen has busted out his trusty fireball to get rid of the ones on makeshift walls and Morrigan's muzzle was red with sticky blood.

"We're good here!" I shouted down and the rest came up the path. We walked past the other houses. There were eyes watching us from the cabins but none dared to come out. I felt guilty for doing this but cults were always bad news. They preyed on the weak minded and they were stuck in this cult for God knows how many years. Eren came up to the Chantry and opened it as the parishioners inside were still praying. Those few reavers and warriors unsheathed their weapons before the old man leading the Chant turned toward us. He had a mage staff in hand while the villagers looked at us with utter hatred.

"Ah, visitors." He glared. "Welcome to our village of Haven. I had heard you all were wandering the village. Have you enjoyed your time?" He talked down to us condescendingly.

"If enjoying you mean finding all the Redcliffe soldiers stuffed into a pantry then yeah, we were enjoying ourselves." Talen glared.

"Not to mention the bleeding tables we found." Zevran added.

"We do not need to explain ourselves to outsiders. We have been chosen by Andraste herself to care over her and her flock. As such, we must remain hidden to deter those unworthy to see her. We will protect Haven and all our charges at all costs. We are her chosen," As he recited this, all the villagers started to get up from their pews, "We are her protectors. All will be forgiven, in Her name."

The villagers all launched themselves at us with roars. I have three jump onto me with a woman clawing at my eyes and another trying to bring me down and another hanging off my hair. I felt my scalp burn as I managed to not fall, feeling them pull out a chunk of hair. I grabbed the collar of the woman scratching at my face and delivered a heavy right hook smashing into the bridge of her nose. She passed out. I grabbed at the person on my back and threw them onto the ground. They coughed up hard before I kicked them hard in their ribs.

The other woman threw the chunk of hair that she had yanked out and I got mad. I had my daggers on and got her with my knuckles in a brutal upper cut. I gasped as I felt that fear starting to overwhelm me before someone let out a mighty blizzard spell right in the Chantry. I shivered out of the fear and the increasing cold temperatures, my feet starting to freeze on the stone ground. I saw a Reaver come toward me, his axe held high before his entire body froze.

Sometimes friendly fire can work to your advantage. I put my weight into my fists and shattered the man. As I looked back to the rest of the group, Eren was struggling to reach the Chantry priest between two barriers. He pushed back with the Blizzard, not caring that the rest of his warriors were slowly becoming ice statues. The villagers that weren't protected by some form of armor all froze. Eren gave out a loud grunt and plunged his sword into the heart of the mage. The priest's magic ended almost instantaneously before Eren pushed his sword out of him and he went down onto the stone ground.

"Forgive this trespass on your ground." Leliana shivered out.

"As if a dead woman will care about the blood spilt in Her supposed home." Morrigan rolled her eyes.

"Guys come over here to warm up." Talen had summoned a fire and everyone limped over to the fire. My fingers turned from purple to regular color. Alfred whined as his ears twitched constantly.

"So…we've killed everyone in the Chantry, now what?" I wondered.

"Well when you put it like that…" Alistair pouted.

"We must find Brother Genitivi. The Redcliffe soldiers were not the only ones missing." Wynne rubbed her hands.

"Speaking of which, does anyone else hear screaming?" Zevran wondered. We all perked our ears before Derek went to an unassuming wall. He put his hands on the stone and patted it before getting his hammer and knocking out the wall. There was a passage through the door. Wynne, Talen, and Derek went down through the passage. I looked at the destruction that was left in the Chantry. They did try to kill us first and a cult is no Bueno but that doesn't mean I still won't feel guilty for what we've done.

"You are bleeding." Zevran came up and lent me a bandage.

"Where?" I wondered before Zevran touched the sore spot on my head and I hissed in pain.

"Oooh, they got you good too." Alistair cringed.

"They ripped off some of my hair. I'll be lucky that it will grow back." I whined as I stood in place. Zevran wrapped my head softly as the group came up with Derek helping a malnourished man through the rubble.

"Oh so you took care of them, good. Now, in order to get to the Temple, you'll need a medallion that the priest wears around his neck." The man said.

"This is Genitivi everyone." Talen announced while Eren took a medallion from the old man's corpse.

"Is this it?" He asked.

"Yes. Now then, please help me for a moment. The Temple is quite a walk away and thank you for saving me." Brother Genitivi bowed as Derek helped him out.

"What Chantry keeps a dungeon?" Wynne scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"A good one." Morrigan chuckled and Wynne glared at her. We got out of the Chantry where Genitivi led us to a stone bridge that the trees hid from plain view. I could tell that the villagers made sure to hide this very well considering how dilapidated everyone was. Elfroot and weeds broke through the cracks of the stone bridge with trees overhanging, covering it. It was maintained enough for you to walk through though.

"How did you get in this precarious situation Brother?" Leliana asked.

"Well it wasn't intended of course. I am well-traveled, searching for any clues to the Sacred Ashes of Andraste. Once I had settled down in Denerim, I began looking through all the notes that I had gathered in my time along with my assistant Weylon. Of course one book about cults caught my interest. A small village named Haven who believed that a High Dragon was Andraste reincarnated. To those that I showed my research, blew off what I had found. I had hoped for my travels would be funded by the Chantry and then the Blight hit. I couldn't ask for help especially when the people needs the Chantry during the dark times." Genitivi explained.

Morrigan opened her mouth before Talen purposely bumped in to her and placed a single finger across his mouth. She scowled and moved closer to Eren who was intently listening to Genitivi.

"But I was so close! The Ashes were in front me in this journal! So I had pinpointed the village and went to investigate. I never knew that the cult was so powerful." Genitivi sighed and ran his free hand over his face. I let out a breath as we followed the road toward the temple. The sun made the snow bright underneath our feet and I couldn't help but imagine a giant green hole in the sky above us. I wondered if I would even be here.

"Are you sure that the Sacred Ashes even exist?" Eren asked.

"Even if they don't, the people here are protecting something that belonged to Andraste and as a scholar for the Chantry it is my sacred duty to bring it forth to the people." Genitivi announced.

"As your role should dictate it." Sten nodded in his approval. Genitivi hesitantly nodded as we slowly walked the path. Leliana was fidgeting and was muttering small prayers under her breath. It seemed that Wynne was doing the same but with her eyes and silently. Everyone else was walking in anticipation. What was going to end in this road that we followed?

Then once we got through a path that was overrun by trees, we saw the Temple on a cliff just a mile away from us. The sun glistened against the stone covered by ice. I was awed at the size of it and could only imagine what the inside looked like.

"Everyone, I'm sure that there are still hostiles inside of the Temple. Check your packs and be ready to face whatever we find inside." Eren announced. I still had my potions in my pack and everything was accounted for. Eren had made Zevran and Leliana scout ahead to know that no one was waiting at the entrance for us. It gave me time to write. Time to see what lies beyond the temple.

9:30 Drakonis ?

"That's a really big door." I said as I looked at the large menacing doors in front of them. After Leliana and Zevran came back, assuring us that they didn't find any enemies, everyone got ready to walk to the Temple.

"But there's no real lock on it?" Talen wondered, looking at the door. Instead, there was a circular indent in the middle.

"Tis reinforced and will not break unless we ram it down, perhaps your head will work on it." Morrigan glanced at Alistair.

"I'm stubborn but I'm not that hard headed." Alistair scoffed.

"Actually this medallion should help." Genitivi limped over to the door with the medallion in hand. "There are very few doors like this in the world. Most take special runes to open but luckily this medallion should help. I only saw it opened once but it should do the trick if I place it like so…" He put it on the circle and fiddled with it until five spots on the medallion lit up. The door lit up in response as well and the door opened by itself.

"Interesting. And magic can do this?" Derek went up and touched the door.

"We had a door in the Circle that opened with a prayer and a hint of magic." Talen shrugged.

"Very few exist, reinforced by magic and opened with runes special to it as well. Someone wanted to guard their secrets well but now that we're here, we can go in." Genitivi nodded. We all followed him through the stairs and right into what should have been the main hall. Everyone was in all as the light filtered in from the few windows on the side. Icicles hung from the ceiling and ice stalagmites jutting from the ground. Ice littered the temple all over but that made it look more ethereal. We all let out gasps of awe and even Morrigan raised her eyebrows at the beauty of the temple. I've been in beautiful temples before but this is definitely an experience I won't forget.

"Oh…what I would give to have been able to see this Temple in all its splendor. Still, sweep away the snow and you can still see the beauty that lies within." Genitivi breathed out.

"Don't forget we are still in the enemy territory. We can't let our guard down Brother." Eren said.

"What? Oh of course. You don't have to worry about me. I'll be keeping here. It must have been only my destiny to lead you here but it's enough for me. Not to bother anyone but do any of you have anything to write with and some loose-leaf vellum or paper?" Genitivi asked. I grabbed my journal from my pack and ripped out a good chunk out of it and gave him the ink well, an inkstone, and a quill.

"You think this is enough?" I asked.

"It's plenty. Thank you all for bringing me here." Genitivi nodded before starting to study the writing on the walls.

"Don't let your guard down. I'm sure what we found in Haven wasn't the entirety of the cult." Eren said, going forward.

"If we weren't here for the Ashes, I think I might lose myself in the Temple just as Genitivi has." Wynne sighed, looking at the ceiling.

"I know! To just restore the temple to its former glory would be a time well spent." Leliana nodded.

"Oh please, someone gag them or I will." Morrigan rolled her eyes.

"I'm not Andrastrian but I am respectful so leave them alone." I replied.

"Shh! I think I saw something beyond those stairs." Derek whispered, getting his hammer.

"Alfred, stay here with Brother Genitivi and guard him." Eren said. Alfred barked and sat while panting. Our whole group readied themselves for a fight as we crossed the large bonfire that roared in the middle of the room. As we went up the stairs, the sound of a few arrows passed by. The warriors ran up to meet the cultists at the top. Three archers, as well as three reavers.

I followed Eren and Alistair closely as they met with the reavers. My ankles felt weak and I had to keep a tight grip on my daggers to not let them go out of that same weakness. Fear aura was a really good technique though I wasn't about to drink any dragon's blood to get it. Sten, out of all of us, seemed to be most comfortable against the technique though. Unlike Derek, Alistair, and Eren that seemed to only parry the reavers instead of hitting them, Sten went up, clonked a reaver with his pommel before beheading him.

Alistair and Eren were taking turns trying to take one down before Derek came up and slammed his hammer against the reaver's back. Zevran, who quickly caught up to me, did a flurry of hits in the armor's weak spot in the other reaver. They both roared and the aura started to gain in pressure. My heart started to race as adrenaline spiked in my body through natural fear. I didn't want to fight though, my body was telling me I had to run and quickly. I stood my ground and ran around one of the reavers with Zevran to confuse him.

Down below, Talen and Morrigan were getting ready their spells from the archers that were trying to get them. One got clipped by Leliana on the hand before it rained fireballs and icicles. The archers were taken out but the two reavers, even with mortal wounds, kept coming at us. They kept on trying to hit us harder and harder. Poor Alistair nearly fell from the stairs from a big shove and Eren was knocked into a wall by the other. Both reavers were covering their backs as they swung wildly at the group, roaring at all of us in a primal rage. They gained strength the closer they were to death.

"We won't get anywhere just defending ourselves!" Derek shouted before one nearly got him.

"They are drawing strength from something and it's not magic!" Alistair pushed me out of the way of a direct hit and moved his shield to protect himself. We heard heavy footsteps and Morrigan, in her bear form, rushed one and crushed his head under her jaws. Sten came over and impaled his sword through the other reaver's body but he still kept swinging. Zevran then came and stabbed at his spine, the reaver lifeless on Sten's sword.

"Jesus Christ, what is up with these guys? I keep feeling the urge to run the hell away and when we stab them, they just get angrier and stronger." I breathed out as Sten removed the body from his sword.

"I think I might know what they are. We had someone similar in the Grey Wardens. From what they told me, they had a few Tevinter mages mix dragon's blood with some other concoctions. Since then, he can hear voices from the fade, demons were able to help him in his fighting. They gave him a fear aura to weaken his enemies, to make him seem larger, stronger, and terrifying to them. The more he got hurt, the more the demons gave him strength to keep going. Bastard didn't go down easy though. Last I heard, he killed an entire camp of darkspawn by himself and barehanded at the end when they saw his body." Alistair explained.

"So we need to go for the head or heart in this instance." Derek rubbed his chin.

"A quick kill so that they can't get stronger through the line between life and death." Zevran twirled his knives. "This would be easy if they weren't so well armed."

"Is everyone alright?" Wynne came up as well as the others.

"We're fine just strategizing." I said.

"If we're having this much trouble with only three, imagine if we had to fight a company of them." Eren grumbled.

"You are letting your fear sway your blade, the fear of death. To you it appears staggering but you must keep in mind that death is only natural. You cannot be led by it. Should you fall to their blade, you can only blame your weakness." Sten put his sword away.

"Everyone fears death as much as they would like to deny it." Wynne sighed.

"We are getting nowhere from here. Tis best to kill them as quickly as we can, no matter what method we choose." Morrigan said.

"I agree with her. Let's just keep going." I said. "Eamon is on borrowed time right now."

"You're right as much as I hate Morrigan." Alistair mumbled the last part. Eren went for the door only to find that it was locked. Leliana tried picking at it but broke one of her tools. It wasn't made out of wood but steel so we couldn't force our way through either.

"We'll have to look for a key. There are two side passages here. I'm sure there are other cultists waiting for us. Derek take Morrigan, Wynne, Leliana, and Alistair with you. The rest are with me." Eren said as he went toward the right passage. Sten and Eren were at the front while Zevran, Talen, and I were at the back. We opened the door with a long hallway. We walked further down when Eren held up his shield and arrows bounced off from it. Two archers rounded the corner and a door, that we couldn't see in the low light, burst open with a bronco right behind us.

"This sucks." I mumbled before moving to the side while the bronco charged. Eren whistled at it and kept on running toward the archers that realized he was egging the bronco toward them. They let out a few screams before Eren jumped out of the way and the bronco smashed into them against the wall. The splatters and breaking of bones echoed in the hallway. Sten didn't waste any time in going to the side of the bronco and stabbing it through its side, where it's heart was supposed to be. The bronco took a few steps before lying dead on the stone ground.

We heard a few shouts coming from the turn in the hallway and we got ready. Four reavers came out and I felt the pit in my stomach again. This was going to get annoying in the long run. Zevran had rushed forward and dug his dagger into the neck of the reaver before sliding back. Eren and Sten formed a shield wall along the wall so they wouldn't get through. Talen magically put a sigil on the floor and a small explosion hit all three of them. Even burning inside their armor, they rushed at Sten and Eren who both took down two. One was left who started to backtrack toward the other rooms. Archers had come out and joined him along with other villagers.

Zevran and I rushed forward as I used his same tactic and brought down the reaver with digging my blade into his neck. The two archers were brought down with two small fireballs from Talen. The villagers came in with mages and two more reavers. With the hallway as small as it was, the reavers came out first to tackle against Sten and Eren. One of their mages put up a barrier for the rest while the other one was readying a spell. Talen did his own barrier as Sten and Eren killed their reavers. Just in time as a blizzard started right in the hallway, their allies be damned.

Talen grunted as he kept the wide barrier over our group while those unlucky villagers with no protection slowly froze to death. The mages kept on shooting out various flares of fire, ice, and lightning while the mini blizzard roared. The blizzard broke before Talen's barrier did. Zevran and I rushed forward, running between the frozen bodies as I lunged with my daggers, Wolverine style, and plunged them into the heart of the first mage. Zevran did a stab in the stomach before slicing open the mage's throat.

I took out my daggers as I heard shattering behind me. Sten was making quick work with the villagers. I held a pang of guilt as their body parts rolled about and felt my stomach come up in my throat before I cleared it out.

"Search the rooms for any keys." Eren said, putting away his sword and shield. We got down to it as Zevran, Talen, and I searched the villagers room while Eren and Sten went into where the mages were stationed.

"Were they all living here?" Zevran wondered as we went through the things, mostly home things.

"Probably. It seemed that they all centered in the mountain while keeping their village for show. We didn't see anyone out there. Even the home we broke into had no one. Cults are weird like that." I said, leaving another chest with clothes.

"I found it!" I heard Eren yell from the other room. As we regrouped, we left the hallway and Derek's group were already waiting out the main gate with fresh blood around him.

"What happened?" Talen asked.

"Got a scream from Genitivi. A few were hiding in the lower hallways. They're clear now of course." Derek laughed darkly. Leave it to him to clear those rooms.

* * *

 **Beta'd by Syutaku**

 **We're finally here! Sorry it's been taking so long but I'm getting the groove back, little bit at a time. The Inquisitor's Guardian should have an update later this week too so keep an eye on that. Not much to say other than I'm really ready on not being pregnant lol**

 **Thank you Renegadescribe, Chicken Detonator, and MadRam for favoriting/following! Thank you Guest for your review! Please Review!**


	72. Kolgrim and the Cultists

9:30 Drakonis ?

We walked into a large hall when we saw the archers come out on the ledges surrounding the main hall. A mage and two reavers by his side came toward the stair case. We were surrounded.

"Run!" Eren shouted and none too soon. The archers shot at our group but Eren and Alistair used their shields to divert the arrows away. Talen and Wynne concentrated on a barrier around us while Morrigan transformed into her wasp form and headed toward the Reavers and mage. The mage couldn't concentrate on his spell while the reavers ran down to meet us. Derek swooshed his hammer and knocked one right in the gut while Sten stabbed one right through in a weak point in his armor. I ran past Morrigan dealing with the mage and killed the first archer by putting my momentum into my knuckles.

There were two more archers right after him. I stabbed my daggers into the other's chest and threw his body at the other archer, distracting him. Zevran had already reached me and slashed the archer several times before stabbing him in the stomach and dropping him over the ledge. I saw that the other archers were done in by Wynne and Talen's spells. The enemy mage was killed by Alistair too late. The mage, in his death, had summoned Ash wraiths. Their bodies twisted with an enormous mouth with spindly arms. I have to admit, the demons of the future weren't so ugly.

I guess you can say Ash Wraiths have the same burning ability of the rage demons but they can't overheat your weapons. Alistair and Eren were able to kill them quickly. We pushed further and saw a few archers across a long hallway. Talen and Morrigan put out fire and lightning spells respectfully while I took care of a trap I saw underfoot. We followed the corridor to where we saw a statue of Andraste looking over us and ash wraiths came up from the ground.

A timely barrier surrounding us, some arrows from Leliana, and a pummeling from Sten and Derek together, gave us liquid demons. Then we saw that there were two paths diverging from each other.

"So door number one or door number two?" I asked.

"We can always split up as usual." Talen said.

"Derek." Eren nodded to the door on the right. Derek took Wynne, Morrigan, Leliana, and Alistair. The rest of us took the other door. We walked the hallway before opening a door to the next room. A mage was at the end of the room and she summoned two more wraiths. Zevran and I tried to rush into the demons before accidentally setting off traps. I grabbed him and stumbled back, letting the demons get impaled on the blades coming toward us. Talen set up a barrier while Eren rushed over and shielded us from a flame attack. Sten came and impaled her on his sword before swinging her lifeless body against the wall.

"Brutal." I said, dusting myself off.

"I must thank you! You saved me from impalement myself." Zevran chuckled as we walked past the trap.

"No big deal." I shrugged.

"Focus." Eren said before continuing on. We followed him into another room with a statue of Maferath.

"At least they haven't taken down all the Andrastrian statues." Talen said, looking up at the carved art.

"I think it's because they still worship her." I said, knowing that they really do but a dragon that they think is Andraste.

"They did have a sermon on our way here." Eren nodded. We walked again until we met the other group where they connected to one door.

"Not much of anything around other than we figured out that chests can be enchanted." Derek guffawed.

"Not much on our end either. That means that this door must head further in." Eren said.

"From what I gathered, they seem to work primarily in the old mining tunnels further in. We need to be cautious." Wynne said.

"I'm sure they'll have plenty of reavers and mages and other dangerous animals at their disposal." Alistair gave a good natured chuckle.

"Let's go." Eren said. We opened the door and went out. It was more temple but it looked as though it was being carved into the mountain further in. The tile turned into stone and the architecture was stalagmites hanging from the ceiling. The torches were flickering with the sun bathing the room from above. The cold settled in me slowly as we walked across the icy stone. I could tell that there was a lot of foot traffic as the floor was molded by it.

I heard running from across the room and we were met with a company of five men, all with heavy armor and one with no helmet. He barked his orders, something along the lines of 'kill them all' as usual. Oddly enough the cold helped deter the fear they were emanating. Probably because you get cold when you're afraid but that's just me thinking. The mages and Leliana went for cover behind the stones while the rest of us went ahead to fight. I managed to jump up the stones and jumped down with a stab to the one with no helmet. Helmets save lives people otherwise you get a dagger in your brain. Another reaver tried to swipe at me but only ended up shaving off a few chunks of rock next to him. I got up and stabbed upward into his chin. Two down and the other three were fighting with Derek, Sten, Alistair, and Eren.

I saw Zevran sneak up to one before stabbing him behind the gut. Weak point hit, he staggered but rose up and roared. In between roars, Sten cleaved the head off its body. We had to go for the head on these guys. We can't risk more time in fights since Eamon is waiting for us. After a timely cold spell from Wynne, we shattered the last two and moved ahead.

The carved stone gave way to regular stone walls of a cavern. Light filtered in from the opening above us with a well-worn walkway so we didn't have to worry about ice.

"Did they carve this themselves or was this originally part of the temple?" Leliana wondered as she ran her hand on the walls.

"We can't be sure. I'm surprised that it's been hidden for so long." Alistair said.

"These people wanted to hide it away from the others. Maybe they had altruistic motives at first." Eren theorized.

"And then they became a dragon cult." I chuckled.

"We haven't seen any dragons at all missy." Derek said. Speak of the devil and he shall come. In the middle of the stone hallway, dragonlings came from both in front of us and behind us. These weren't like the frail ones in the mage tower either. The cultists have definitely been feeding them. They were bigger and their scales jutted out more. I wasn't sure if this meant they were older than usual dragonlings or had a different dragon mother. In any case, we were surrounded.

They gave out little blasts of fire that would cause serious burns but the barrier around us kept it from harming us. It did singe my chestplate slightly. We had three in front and four in the back. Morrigan turned into her bear form to fight with three of them. Sten and Derek were trying to keep some away but the dragonlings were bigger than Alfred and were probably longer than I was tall.

One fought off Sten only for Alistair to go up and take a good slice on its neck. Zevran and I were keeping two in line while Wynne was planting ice glyphs on the floor, slicing open two that dared go near them. Leliana had put away her bow in order to fight with a pair of small daggers on her side. I had the worst job of distracting them while Zevran looked for an opening. Meaning my face came too damn close to their teeth and dank breath. Seriously, it smelled like rotten meat.

Leliana was able to get a good stabbing below the ribs on the meaty part and Zevran sliced the neck. I was about to let out a victory grin before one dragon tackled my side. I couldn't overpower it, it was a freaking baby dragon! It slammed me against the wall where it started to crush me. When it saw that its power wasn't squishing me like it was supposed to, it reared its head back to snap at me. I plunged my hand into its mouth, dagger straight into the throat. It choked as I stabbed something and reared back. Derek came over and slammed his hammer across its head.

I looked back at the battlefield as Eren and Morrigan took down the last dragonling. I looked at the armor that I wore and, thankfully, I got away with a few scrapes and no dents.

"Well, I can add dragon babies to my growing list of things I've killed." Derek guffawed. I rolled my eyes and shook my head but gave him a grin. I would have to thank Mikhael one of these days.

We gathered our bearings and headed deeper into the temple. The stone hallway gave way to a large, wide room. Four more dragonlings with reavers behind them came into view. Leliana got a head shot while Eren, Alistair, Sten, and Derek were up front with the dragons. Morrigan shifted again while Talen kept a barrier up and let Wynne use her proficiency in ice spells to cover the ground in ice glyphs. When a dragon managed to evade both sword and spells, Wynne lashed out with a fist made of earth. Zevran and I took down the one that got through with quick slashes on its underbelly and neck.

So long as we were able to focus on their weak spots, you just need a quick pair of feet to go against dragonlings. Unlike their more mature stages, these were babies even if they were bigger than the ones we saw in the tower. Their scales were tough sure but Derek's hammer can still plow through them with a well-timed attack. Morrigan's teeth sank into a dragonlings neck while Sten decapitated another reaver. Eren and Alistair tagged teamed one dragon while another came toward the mages. I ran past the dragonling as I saw Derek struggling with the last reaver. I slid on the ice, put my foot in between the legs, and tripped the reaver. Derek wasted no time in letting his hammer fall directly on the guys face. Ugh, that sickening crunch will stay with me.

We brought down all the enemies and moved on. I noticed a ledge that held a man that seemed to be caring for the eggs surrounding him. When he spotted us, he began to focus on his staff only to be done in by a timely arrow to the throat. He gurgled as he held onto an egg for sheer life and died with it in his arms. Kinda sad if I thought about it.

"So this is where those little dragons come from." Alistair awed at the large eggs.

"Dragonlings." Morrigan scoffed.

"So these guys take care of the little ones huh?" Derek knocked on an egg.

"Makes you wonder though, where are they getting the eggs?" I asked. I got a few scared and curious looks.

"A mother dragon?" Talen wondered.

"A High dragon." Wynne crossed her arms. "If that is really what we are assuming here then things will only get harder for us."

"Many thought the dragons were extinct until only a few decades ago. Only High Dragons breed as well. The assumption is not far off." Eren reasoned.

"A High Dragon can't be killed by just a small group like us! Do you even know how huge those things are? If the cultists are taking care of the babies, then they probably are sustaining the High Dragon too. What if they use it against us?" Alistair asked.

"Let us pray it doesn't come to that." Leliana hoped.

"Or we could all get eaten by a dragon, our bones never to see the sun again until we pass through the dragon's ass." Zevran chuckled.

"Yeah, way to go with the imagery there." I laughed.

"There is no point in stopping here, dragon or no." Sten gruffily said. We agreed and continued. We walked through another hallway, this time with our weapons out. We couldn't be sure if we could be flanked again by dragonlings. We crossed it and in came another cavern. More dragonlings, more reavers, and they had a mage this time. This mage was different though as it came with the reavers at us with armor and a sword.

"Is that mage wielding a sword?" Talen wondered in awe.

"Less awing more spells." I said, running into battle with the others. I evaded a bite from a dragon and slashed the neck three times. I had to backpedal as a reaver came for me before he was knocked on the ground by Derek's hammer. I wasted no time in going down to slash his throat. I stabbed it too so he would bleed out quicker.

I heard a large commotion behind me as Morrigan let out lightning spells along with fire spells from Talen. The only one left standing was the mage who had a barrier around him. He was focusing all of his power on it though so as soon as he couldn't handle it anymore, he was done for. Once the barrier was down, he flung his sword toward Wynne. It nearly connected if it wasn't for Alistair putting his shield right in front, catching it. Eren dug his sword through the mage's chest and we were done.

"Are you ok Wynne?" Alistair asked.

"I'm fine, thank you." Wynne breathed. Alistair inspected the sword and it went in deep into his shield, touching his breastplate.

"That was a good shot, I have to admit." Alistair grunted as he pulled out the sword from his shield. We walked further in the cavern and found two different paths. A foul smell was coming from both and intermingled with each other.

"Ugh, why is it so smelly?" I held my nose.

"Considering we have carcasses of animals rotting in a corner there, that could be it." Zevran chuckled.

"One of these leads out, it has to." Eren rubbed his chin and combed through his beard. "We'll split up again. Derek, take a group with you and the rest will follow me."

"As you say boss." Derek grinned. "Prince, witch, red, and senior, follow me." Derek said, lifting his hammer with a face of glee.

"What does he expect to be in the other path, more dragons?" Alistair muttered, following him.

"This will be surprising but these are dragon cultists. The presence of more dragons would definitely be a surprise!" Morrigan said sarcastically.

"Now, now children. We don't need infighting now." Wynne tsked. They all left while we went the other way. The path started to incline upward as a bad smell started to waft as we walked.

"Ugh, what is that smell?" I held my nose and breathed through my mouth. It didn't make things better.

"Sulfur. The earth stirs beneath us." Sten answered.

"Does that mean we're on a literal volcano and it might blow?" I gaped. Zevran laughed.

"No, it only means that the mountain is active but will not erupt." Zevran explained.

"I am not so sure." Sten said. Zevran and I looked at each other with nervousness.

"Stop scaring them Sten." Eren chuckled. Sten wore one of his rare smirks before going back to frowning.

"Is it me or did he actually make a joke?" Talen came up next to me.

"I think he just did! We are slowly rubbing off on you my big grey friend." Zevran patted Sten's arm which he glared at him.

"I do not want any sort of rubbing from you." Sten said before we saw an opening from the cavern to more temple.

"A wide opening with no guards? This smells like a trap." I mentioned.

"Be on your guard." Eren said, taking out his weapons as we did the same. As soon as we crossed, there were two mages opposite our team. If it wasn't for Talen's timely barrier, we would have been scorched and impaled with ice. I took my dagger and cut the trap that was meant for us before Zevran rushed past and did quick slices against the mages chest before slicing her throat. Right behind, I heard the painful shouts of the elder mage. I looked back and he was dead.

"This won't be the last of them, I'm sure." Talen sighed, rubbing his head.

"You ok?" I asked.

"My mana is on the low side and Wynne has the lyrium potions. I'll have to wait for us to regroup to get some." Talen said.

"Let's go." Eren ordered. We kept on following the upwards caverns and made a turn. We found the largest room that we've seen, to the point where the ceiling had some fog and I couldn't really see it. We weren't able to enjoy it though as, of course, we were met with Kolgrim.

"Stop! You and your companions will go no further!" Kolgrim demanded. He had two guards at the side of him with two more mages in a distance behind him.

"And why is that?" Eren glared.

"You have corrupted our sacred temple! The blood of our most faithful runs like rivers and you have slaughtered our young! I will let you do no more! Tell me intruders, why have you done all of this? Why did you come here?" Kolgrim swung his sword around before putting it down on the stone.

"We came to search for the Urn of Sacred Ashes." Talen replied.

"You forced your way into our lands, slaughtered my people and the young we cared for, for an ancient urn?" Kolgrim looked down at Talen before brandishing his sword and swinging it wildly with emotion. "The prophet Andraste has conquered death itself and has been reborn! Returned to Her most faithful! Her form is more powerful and more beautiful than you can ever imagine! The Tevinter Imperium can only hope to slay Her now. What hope do you have coming here?" Kolgrim stalked our group.

"You're insane." I said and Kolgrim whipped his head to me. Talen and Zevran were both shaking their heads but I didn't stop. "You're about as bad as the Tevinter Imperium since you're worshipping a dragon too, just like they did. Andraste is gone and the urn that's most likely here is proof of that."

"You know nothing!" Kolgrim raged. "Andraste has resurrected and has shown herself to my people, the most faithful! To arms my brothers! For Andraste! For our victory!" The enemies took out their weapons and we got ready as well.

It seemed that Kolgrim has picked me out of everyone with the way I spoke about their 'Andraste.' Note to self: Don't antagonize the big buff reaver.

He swung at the group, almost slicing Talen as everyone had to jump back. I was separated and Kolgrim began his assault. I narrowly avoided his wide swings as he made sure to keep me away from everyone. Whenever someone tried to follow us, the mages would use their spells to keep them occupied. I cried out as I stepped away from another attack only to have my back against the stone wall. I sidestepped a stabbing but Kolgrim managed to grab my collar and forced me to the ground. The cold wasn't helping against his fear aura that he had. I was slowly starting to panic as my mind seemed to make him seem more demonic. I could only compare to the fear gas that Scarecrow uses against Batman.

I got up with my knuckles turning white from how hard I was holding my daggers. Kolgrim's attack became fiercer, slowly starting to clip me. I was afraid that he might finally get a shot in and as my fear grew, the adrenaline started to rush into me. Run or fight and for once I chose to fight. It was like that one battle in the snow, the first time I killed a man. His sword clipped my rib and it hurt like hell before I did a twirling sidestep like Zevran and managed to stand behind him. It was slow motion as I was able to see the opening in between his arm on his lower back. I stabbed with one dagger on his back with the other one around his neck. I wasted no time in slicing that and pulling out my dagger. The metallic smell of blood flooded my nostrils as I jumped back.

Kolgrim gurgled but still raised his sword against me. A person can bleed out quickly when their artery has been slashed, especially when their heart rate was elevated. It didn't matter to him though as he slashed his sword in quick bursts, trying desperately to get me. I gained some sort of courage or maybe I was just reckless but instead of dodging, I went into his bubble of range. It clipped my shoulder and I cried out, stabbing my daggers into his face. He started to fall and I fell on top of him, stabbing and stabbing before his hand finally settled and he stopped moving.

I breathed heavily as I looked at his eviscerated face, not even recognizable from where I was sitting. I got off as if I was sitting on fire and felt my stomach lurch painfully. I took deep breaths and looked away from the body of Kolgrim, and focused on the icy stone floor. Then I noticed that my hands, weapons, and my entire body was sprayed with blood. Kolgrim's blood.

"Oh God, what's wrong with me?" I harshly whispered to myself as I couldn't even handle my weapons in front of me. There were so many emotions rushing through me and it was too much at that point to even try to discern them. Tears fell from my eyes as I let out an odd laugh. It didn't even sound like me.

"Nia?" I heard Talen's voice behind me and felt his hand on my shoulder before I slapped it away.

"Don't touch me!" I shouted before starting to laugh hysterically. Well, so this is what a true mental breakdown felt like. "Look at what I did! What have I become!? Jesus Christ, I went at it like an animal." I sobbed, holding myself. I felt like I was about to break.

"It was you or them." Talen said softly as he sat next to me. I looked at him and sniffled.

"That doesn't make it better." I whispered, trying in futility to wipe off the blood. "I hate this."

"No one enjoys this except probably Derek." Talen sighed. "Stay still, your shoulder is bleeding."

"Talen…does this makes me less of a person? Does this make me evil?" I whimpered.

"No it doesn't. These guys were going to kill us and they twist our minds with their techniques. You were just on the front end of it. Don't worry. They're gone now." He said, his hands glowed green and touching my shoulder, healing the clip that Kolgrim got in. I didn't even notice the pain until I felt the dull thud of it after he healed it.

"I hate this." I softly said, my emotional high started to fade.

"Yeah it's not my favorite either." Talen said, keeping his hand on my shoulder. "But you're not evil and I think you're one of the best people I've met so far." I looked at him with disbelief before scoffing and shaking my head. "I'm serious. You helped me in the tower so let me help you too." Talen stared at me, his honey colored eyes brimming with determination.

"You're a good kid Talen." I smiled and Talen smiled too before I heard the hard footsteps of Sten and the smile quickly went away.

"I faltered Sten." I sighed.

"I can see that." I heard him say behind me. I got up and avoided Kolgrim's corpse while putting away my dagger. I heard a whistle as I saw Derek's group coming toward Eren and Zevran who were also surrounded by the reavers and mages.

"We found drakes! What did you find?" Derek asked.

"The leader it seems like. Anyway, the path continues." Eren said looking at me with understanding before going over to the light shining at the end of the cavern. Leliana gave me a worried glance but I shook my head. Talen kept close to me as our group fell silent when we came out of the temple. It led out to a bridge of the temple out to the mountain. As we walked, the roaring of the High Dragon pierced our ears. It flew above us, circling the temple before landing on a huge clearing on top of the mountain, letting out another roar before curling in on itself.

"Who's up for fighting a dragon!?" Derek took out his hammer.

"No!" Everyone shouted. Well, at least that broke the tension.

* * *

 **Beta'd by Syutaku**

 **Sometimes I wonder if I overdo it with the guilt of killing someone but considering this is me, I would feel incredibly guilty nearly every single time even if I was forced to due to self-defense. Everyone is different and everyone copes differently as well. Anyway the baby should be coming in 1-2 weeks and this time I actually get some real time off! Hopefully that will help with my writing, now that Bioware has announced that they're working on the next dragon age, I gotta kick myself into gear! Of course some extra reviews would help with that :3**

 **Thank you Earless93, chris . yellowcard . biddle6, Kiukun-Nadralexe, and NBR2332 for favoriting/following! Thank you Chimera Spyke for your review!**

 **Please leave a Review!**


	73. Se Limpia Con Jabon

9:30 Drakonis ?

We walked slowly and quietly as the dragon slept. Even the tumbling stones caused us to freak out slightly and look at the dragon. It still slept and everyone let out a sigh of relief.

"Tis such a missed opportunity. It would be wondrous to learn a dragon's form." Morrigan whispered.

"If you really want to learn, how about we call it down and leave you to it?" Alistair chuckled.

"It will need a chew toy to keep it occupied." Morrigan shot back.

"Do we truly want to antagonize a creature like that?" Zevran laughed nervously.

"No so let's cross as quickly as we can and avoid it." Eren said. We all kept quiet after that, crossing the mountain as subtly as we could. I noticed the gong nearby and the massive amount of bones near it.

"That must be a signal for its food." I said.

"Then it would be wise to stay away from it." Wynne mentioned.

"This is a once in a lifetime chance! Why can't we fight the dragon? It's experience against the Archdemon!" Derek reasoned, looking at the gong with a fervor in his eyes.

"Don't you dare do it Derek." Talen glared. "I'll burn your beard off."

"You can try priss!" Derek guffawed before we all shushed him. Still, crossing an open space like this while having a dragon literally over our heads, was not at all calming. I could only think about the Gauntlet ahead which only drove my anxiety harder. Ahhh! Even nightmare mode wouldn't even prepare me for this.

"Why do you even want to fight it?" Talen whispered.

"I have heard tales of massive beasts beyond the stone. It makes my blood gurgle with excitement to know I'm so close to such a creature!" Derek had this giddy look on his face.

"There is no sense in fighting a beast that would likely kill us before our quest." Sten put his two cents in.

"If we need Sten for clarity, then you really know we shouldn't fight the dragon." I responded. Derek huffed but we got to the door safe and sound. The dragon was still sleeping on its perch and we opened the door.

As soon as I walked in, I knew that the place we were standing on was holy ground. There was a silence that can't be found anywhere else except the oldest of churches in my world. Our footsteps echoed in the small room. Torches were flickering but they had an odd light to them, greenish blue. It reminded me of the veilfire that you encountered later on, remnants of flame still burning. Even with no discernable windows, light filtered in from somewhere. Besides the reverence I had for the place, it was clear that no one has been here for a very long time.

Dust clung to the benches that were long rotted away. The image of Andraste that was nearby wasn't cleaned for who knows how long. The few vases that were scattered around the room were cracked, their contents long since turned into dust. The candles that must have burned at one point, lay in a pile of wax and used wicks. It was dilapidated that's for sure but it still held onto respect of the one that stood in its temple.

"This place is old, much older than the temple." Morrigan quietly said.

"It needs cleaning." Zevran scoffed.

"So is this were the Ashes are then?" Alistair wondered. No sooner that he said that, a man came through a door that was in front of us. His image faded in and out before settling in a more permanent figure. He stood tall with his armor gleaming in front of us. Many of us reached for our weapons but I didn't because he wouldn't harm any of us. He was one of the first true disciples of Andraste, not turned by the dragon cult.

"I bid you welcome, pilgrims." He nodded to our group.

"Who, or what, are you?" Eren asked, his sword ready in his hand.

"I am the one who protects and guards the Urn of Sacred Ashes. I have waited many years for this." The Guardian spoke, his voice echoing in the small room.

"For us? Really?" Talen crossed his arms in disbelief.

"Your arrival is the first in a very long time." The Guardian nodded. "It has been my mission, my life, to protect the Urn and prepare the way for the faithful who come to worship Andraste. For many years I have stayed here and many more will I remain until my task is complete and the Imperium has crushed into ash to scatter into the winds."

Or until Corypheus comes in and decimates the whole mountain like how Mt. Helen erupted in my world and leave nothing left.

"The Imperium no longer has the power that it once had, spirit. Their empire has been weakening for some time now." Wynne responded.

"Ah, is that so? Then perhaps my time for an end is drawing near." The Guardian seemed resigned.

"But since it's not completely gone, we have come here for-" Eren started.

"The Ashes, yes. I understand." The Guardian nodded. "You have all come to honor Andraste, and you shall, if you have proven yourself worthy."

"What constitutes us being worthy?" Leliana wondered.

"The Gauntlet will judge you. If you are worthy, you will behold the Urn and will be allowed to take a small pinch of the Ashes. If you are not worthy, the Ashes will be lost to you." He answered.

"And what is the first task?" Zevran asked.

"Before you start on your journey, there comes the trial of pain." The Guardian started.

"Oh this should be good." Derek chuckled before Talen knocked his staff on his head. Wynne gave them both a scathing look and they shut up.

"The path that has led you here was not easy. There is suffering in your past, your own suffering, and the suffering of others." The Guardian's voice boomed out. The tension grew as pressure seemed to mount in the small room. The Guardian looked to Eren who gripped his sword.

"Eren Cousland." The Guardian nodded.

"How do you know my-" He started.

"You abandoned your mother and father, leaving their lives at the hand of the betrayer Rendon Howe, knowing that he would not show mercy. Do you believe you failed your parents?" He looked at him, expectantly with everyone else's eyes on him as well. I saw Eren gulped, shuffling on his feet before putting away his weapons.

"Yes." He breathed out before clearing his throat. "I should have taken them. My father was dying but I could have at least-" Eren put his hand over his eyes. "I should have dragged my mother out with me. I left them to die." He exhaled sharply with his eyes red with unshed tears. My stomach dropped at that because I should have done more too.

"That is all I wished to know." The Guardian looked

"Tis amazing that every single religion thrives on guilt like a glutton to mince pie." Morrigan scoffed.

"No, he's not making him feel guilty." I shook my head.

"What would explain what he just did then?" Morrigan asked.

"He made him face what he needed to face, the thing he's been trying to push down. Sometimes we need that to get over it. If you let it out, let it bleed, then it can heal." I explained.

"Unjustifiable in my opinion." Morrigan rolled her eyes.

"Well whatever he has gone through, I just want to say you were in a position where there was no right choice." Wynne said. Eren cleared his throat and nodded again.

"I'm guessing that you're going to be letting everyone go through a trial of pain then? Ask your question spirit." Derek put his hammer down, waiting for it.

"Derek Brosca, you were a casteless dwarf, born with nothing to your name and rose to the ranks of Grey Wardens, esteemed in your lands. Yet you left your own family, your own kind to their squalor, to their fate. Do you believe you have failed them?" The Guardian asked.

"No because after all of this is done, I'm going down there and I'm going to make things right. I'm a Grey Warden meaning my words have weight to them. They can't toss me aside like some random casteless anymore. By the time I'm finished, there won't be any casteless." Derek finished.

"That's a commendable quest." Leliana nodded.

"Sounds like a hard one too." Talen said.

"Harder than an Archdemon? Heh, I'd tackle it like the dragon outside." Derek laughed.

"Talen Surana." The Guardian started. Talen glared at him but puffed out his chest in preparation. "The betrayal of your friend Jowan is a scar only still healing and one that stays with you but that is almost equal to the pain of your own shame. You accepted an apostate's teaching of blood magic then later gained the power over your tainted blood through a potion that costed the lives of several innocents. Many a time you have looked down upon these mages and now have joined their ranks, do you believe you have failed yourself?"

"No because of the fact that Jowan used blood magic to save his own life made me open my eyes a little more. It's not the best way but it can be used responsibly. A tool can't be evil just like magic is not evil. So I'm taking it bit by bit and maybe one day it can actually be seen as something useful instead of something to be feared." Talen explained.

"An ideal that won't be shared by most in the circle." Wynne said.

"Then good. Allow him to introduce his magic in your safe world and perhaps those Chantry fools will see the uses of it." Morrigan shot back.

"Now, what of those that follow you?" The Guardian wondered.

"This is repetitive." Sten grumbled.

"Alistair, you are a noble knight and a dutiful warden. There have been many a time when you have wondered if things could have been different if you had joined Duncan on the battlefield. Perhaps you could have fought besides him, protected him from the killing blow. You wonder if you should have died instead of him." The Guardian explained.

"I…yes. I do think about it. 'What if I had died instead of Duncan?' If Duncan was saved then…I believe everything would be better. He had more experience, he was wiser. Things wouldn't be so difficult for the rest of us if he was here." Alistair sighed.

"Prince, you don't know that. Even I could tell that Duncan was on his last leg at Ostagar, seen too many people like him not to notice. Either way, you're here and you're making a difference." Derek grunted.

"He saved you from the battlefield by sending you to the tower." Eren nodded.

"Thank you." Alistair whispered.

"Ask your question, Guardian, I am ready." Wynne said.

"Wynne. Your age has made you wiser and the advisor to your companions. You are ready with words of wisdom but you wonder whether these words are banalities. If the words you spout are nothing more than empty from a long and distant past. If you are a tool used by the Circle and the Chantry to spread their word. Do you doubt what you say?" The Guardian asked.

"You already know our answers, don't you Guardian? But mine is yes, I do doubt whether I'm just saying dribble that passes through one ear and out the next but only a fool is completely certain of himself." Wynne replied.

"Then tis a wonder if you still allow your word to be better than the others." Morrigan glared.

"I don't believe that what I say is always the best but I had my painful experiences and don't want anyone else repeating those mistakes." Wynne said.

"So long as I get to ogle at your bosom, you can talk my ear off as long as you'd like." Zevran winked and Wynne took a few steps away.

"Zevran." The Guardian's voice boomed.

"Oh my turn now?" Zevran wondered.

"You live your life with no regrets and have killed many with your blade but there is one death that has haunted you constantly. A woman by the name of-"

"How do you know that?" Zevran's face paled.

"The knowledge has been granted to me. Do you regret-"

"If you want to know that badly then yes." Zevran cut him off again. "I do regret her death, now move on." His guilt turned to anger and he made sure not to look at anyone after his question. The Guardian nodded at his answer.

"Leliana, you are ever faithful to the Maker and to Andraste. Yet you say the Maker speaks to you when all who knows of the Chant agree that the Maker has only spoke to one, Andraste, his bride. Do you believer yourself Her equal?" The Guardian asked.

"What!? No I would never-" Leliana argued.

"You existed in Orlais, you had standing and power. Once you came to Ferelden, to Lothering, your greatest fear was of losing yourself. You were afraid of fading away and disappearing. The Brothers and Sisters challenged your beliefs and what you declared. You were hurt by their scrutiny but you reveled in it nonetheless. The attention was centered on you in these moments and you relished it, whether or not it was negative or positive." The Guardian elaborated.

"I liked it, yes. I must admit I did like the attention but I'm not here because I want attention or the fact that I was afraid of disappearing. I have accepted that part of myself and my faith that drove me here. I know what I believe and I will not waver in them." Leliana declared. It made me happy that she was accepting the lesser parts of herself.

"That's good." Alistair and Talen said at the same time. They both frowned and looked away. Funny.

"Morrigan, daughter of Flemeth-"

"Do not even try Spirit, I will not play your games." Morrigan refused. The Guardian nodded to her response.

"Sten, your Arishok gave you a quest to this land, to observe and answer a question of his. In that quest, after losing your compatriots, you slaughtered an entire family in a blind rage. Do you believe you have failed your people by allowing a Qunari to be seen in that light?" The Guardian asked.

"I have never denied that I failed." Sten nodded. Considering there were those that still didn't trust Sten, hopefully this will make him see that he isn't so sure of himself either. Finally, the Guardian looked at me and my stomach dropped. I hated this feeling like the night I was going in for a difficult test that I haven't studied for.

"You, the one who walks without her name." Yep that got curious glances out of everyone. "You have come from a strange land to an even stranger time. The regrets that plague you are numerous and they follow you as close as your shadow does. It is a wonder that you haven't broken from all the regrets you carry but there is one that is constantly at your mind, one that you cannot forgive yourself for." I braced myself for it. "The fact that you knew of Rendon Howe's treachery and did nothing to stop it. Did you believe you failed yourself?"

"You what!?" Eren shouted and turned to me. I took a breath.

"Yeah, that's my biggest regret and yeah, I failed. I wanted to save more but I couldn't. That was my weakness." I replied.

"You knew!" Eren yelled.

"Yes! I knew and I also knew that no one would listen to me! Even you saw how far your father believed in Howe!" I snapped.

"Why didn't you warn me? Why didn't you tell me?!" Eren slapped his chest.

"How could I tell you? Yeah you had your suspicions about Howe but having to tell you that he was planning an all out attack on the castle would have seemed farfetched at the time! There was no one that would believe me! How could they when Howe and your family have been attached to the hip since the war ended!? No one would believe a bodyguard or a lowly handmaiden!" I reasoned.

"You could have done something!" Eren roared, his face getting red with anger.

"I did do something! I did the only thing I could do at the time which was protect you and your family AND I FAILED!" I screamed out. "I couldn't save Oriana, I couldn't save Eleanor, I couldn't save Bryce!"

"And their deaths fall on your head." Eren didn't raise his voice so much as a whisper but I heard it clear as day. "They are dead because of you."

"Eren-" Talen tried to intervene before Eren grabbed the collar of my armor.

"You only bring misfortune and death around you." Eren's face was unnaturally clear which scared me more than any glare he gave me. I had to stand on my tip toes as he lifted me from the ground. "You're a pestilence that only swerves failures around me."

"Boss!" Derek shouted.

"You should have died instead of them!" Eren roared and pushed me roughly against the wall. "If there is any penance you can hope to give me is your death to pay for theirs!" Eren had moved one of his hands to my neck and started to squeeze.

"Let her go!" Alistair tried to grab his shoulders but he wouldn't budge. Soon my head started to get lightheaded and my neck ached with severe pain. It wasn't until Sten nearly threw him off me to where I finally stumbled onto the floor, coughing and hacking while trying to breathe again.

"Eren that is not what we stand for and you know that!" Alistair shouted at him but Eren seemed to only look at me. I stared up at him, clutching at my neck as Talen and Zevran went to kneel next to me.

"After we gather the ashes for Eamon, I want you out of my sight. Should I ever catch you again, it will be my sword plunging into your chest." Eren threatened, a blank look in his eyes. "And if anyone stops me, they will face my blade too." He looked to the rest of the group before glaring at the Guardian who seemed saddened at what happened.

"You have passed the first trial but there are more lying in wait. Step forth, pilgrims." The Guardian blinded our group with light and the door behind him opened. I wasn't sure what to feel. It was all too much at the time so I pushed it down until I can revisit them again. I wasn't going to explain myself further to Eren. I did what I could with the power that I had at the time and it wasn't much. I failed and I was reminded of that every single time I saw Eren. Maybe one day the guilt will fade but right now it's clear and it hurts as much as my neck.

"Nia, let me-" Talen reached over with his hand filled with healing energy but I stopped him and shook my head.

"Save your mana Talen and let's get this over with." I coughed out, getting up. The group looked around in anticipation as we followed Eren but he looked over me as if trying to not even notice my presence. The door led us to a grand hallway with spirits all in two rows.

"What is this?" Derek wondered as we wandered in.

"Our next trial, I suppose." Morrigan said. Even she was watching Eren carefully. I walked up to the first spirit at my left, hearing her riddle, Andraste's childhood friend.

"A tune." I answered and it was the right one. After her explanation, her form dissipated and flew to the door. "We need to answer the riddles." I coughed out.

"And how would you know the answers?" Derek asked.

"All you have to do is listen." I replied. I didn't want to be anywhere near them. I felt naked. I'm pretty sure some of us were feeling that right now too. Having your failures and regrets pushed out into the open like that was no picnic. The thing is I already knew and was trying to deal with it. I was hoping that Eren wouldn't figure it out, that I can take it to my grave. Life isn't that simple.

We got the riddles solved slowly. Whenever someone would get stuck on one, I would go up and answer the right riddle. This part was the easiest of all the trials in the Gauntlet. Eren wouldn't even look at me, still sporting that same empty but rage filled look in his eyes. It made me feel smaller than I already was. I felt paranoid, as if everyone was staring and judging me for what I did, for what I didn't do, for my failure. The Guardian was right on them following me everywhere.

Eventually we got the door opened but it was pitch black. I couldn't see beyond it. I don't remember it being this way. A breeze was there but it seemed to pull us in rather than push out.

"Are we supposed to find our way in the dark without a torch?" Zevran wondered. Talen had sprouted a small fire in his palm but the darkness didn't recede. Eren hadn't a care as he stepped forth and we all followed him.

My footsteps echoed and my eyes grew wide, trying to see through the darkness. The fire from Talen waned until there was no more light. I stepped carefully, reaching for anything or anyone and not being able to see beyond my hands. God, it was so dark.

"Jesus, what I wouldn't give for a flashlight." I muttered before I stumbled into a loose stone and hit the ground hard. I groaned in pain before opening my eyes and finding myself in a freeway. "What the…? Am I in the fade?"

"Why am I standing in the middle of nowhere?" My breath stopped as I heard that voice and slowly looked behind me. Standing tall, leaner than he used to be, but he was still my husband Louis.

"Puppy!" I ran to him and, like all the other times before, he reached out and hugged me back.

"Kitty!" Once he said that, everything came out and I started sobbing into his chest. My face was probably a mess and I left large wet spots on his shirt too. I wasn't wearing my armor and had on my old clothes, I was normal again. There I was, crying my heart and my eyes out until I had to stop when my throat started to hurt. Louis calmed me down, rubbing circles on my back. I heard his voice crack a few times, most likely also feeling the weight of the situation. After everything, we held each other just relishing the fact we were here together again.

"Here we are again, another moment with kitty that I know won't last but is always cherished." My eyes look up towards him confused at his words. I know my husband and this isn't what I expected. He smiles at me with already bloodshot eyes and pokes my forehead. "Ah what the hell am I trying to pretend to be all polite and shit! Kitty! I miss you so much!" He roughly pulls me back into a big hug. I giggle at his touch and his quick pecks.

"Yeah, I know it won't last." I giggled again as he snuggled into me. "I'm not sure why you're here but I'm pretty sure it has to deal with my regrets. In the game, this is where the Warden meets up with the person with whom they regret. Bryce for the Cousland, Tamlen for the Dalish, Jowan for Surana and so on and so forth. I'm trying to figure out which of my many regrets brought you to me."

He feigns being wounded as he pouts. "It's because your pug is a disappointment to you." Despite saying it with humor I can hear the hurt in his voice as I take a step back and give him a deadpan look. "What? What other reason could have brought you here?" he shrugs his shoulders and puts his best goofy face.

"A lot of reasons, mostly the kitty failing of course. I failed in saving Eren's family, I failed as a friend to Rael, I failed in everything." My voice broke as I got up and started to pace as I usually do when I'm venting. "Then the fact that I am not even comfortable being in this world still! Did you know I just eviscerated a man's face! I stabbity stabbed his face until it looked like a blood pie!" I let out an aggravated sigh.

"Oh shit! Savagery!" He says in his deep gruff mimicry of Chester Cheetah from my worlds television commercial. He stands back watches me pace and rant as he always does then rubs his beard. I never noticed how long its actually gotten. "Well I will say they may be failures but they are also learning points to better yourself and to better your decisions. I believe you haven't failed since you are still alive and still traveling to gather your forces….you are still alive, right?" he looks around the surroundings in a questioning gaze.

"No duh puppy. Oh I actually died again, I think I left my body on the last highway exit." I added sarcastically and he gave me an 'I had to ask' face. "I guess you can say they're learning points but do I really have to accept the killing? Because that's really messing me up like hard. Besides all the failure that's the one thing that keeps on haunting me. One day I think I'm honky dory and all of a sudden something like this happens and I'm thrown into a loop, a very depressing loop. What can I do puppy?" I finally sat down. "I'm fucking swimming in blood at this point and I'm worried. Am I going to heaven now? Can I look at myself in a mirror without ever feeling this enormous weight? I was never this way puppy. Shit, I could barely kill insects and here I am, stabbing people through the eye and shit." I inhaled and exhaled for a long time, shrugging my shoulders and running my hand through my hair.

I feel his weight against my back as he lays against me and covers me again in his warmth. "Truthfully, Kitty, I find it pretty badass what you've been able to do, but I know you are you and I am me. I will say this." He takes a calm breath which tickles my neck as his cheek brushes through my hair and then against mine briefly before he pulls away. "No matter what has happened I don't think any less of you. Remember, It's for survival. Would you rather be gone and never come back to me and the turkeys? God forgives if you wish for forgiveness. You repent when you desire it. You have regretted each kill from the start. Halo knows for the most part about the big guy. You will always be the kitty to me." He snuggles me warmly.

"Sometimes it's hard to remember that I can be forgiven considering that I feel like I can't forgive myself." I mumble into his chest. "But it makes me feel better that no matter what I do, you'll still be there for me. I love you."

"I love you too kitty. Understand that everything you are doing is for survival and nothing can make me change the love I have for you. 'Todo se limpia con jabón y agua,' as my coworker would tell me when something would happen that made me feel like I would slip into depression over the stuff I've done in the past. The same goes for you my pretty kitty, you are not at fault for this." He looked me deep in the eyes as he tipped my chin. We kissed for one last time until I opened my eyes and found myself on the stone floor of the trial. I felt that homesickness and loneliness spread but looked at my ring on my finger. I felt warm, remembering my husband's words. If it's from him, I know that everything will be alright. Everything washes away with soap and water and so will all I do to get home.

* * *

 **Beta'd by Syutaku!**

 **Finally got through! I've been trying to rewrite this part since the beginning and I feel like it flows much smoother than my first time. I've also noticed how my entire demeanor changes so long as I'm with someone comfortable and that's the reason why Nia's voice pattern changes with the husband. Anyway, I'm down to the last 5 days of my pregnancy, my due date is soon and I have no clue when this baby will pop, hopefully I get the next chapter in soon.**

 **Shout out to colindw for following/favoriting! Thank you Chimera Spyke (love your reviews) for reviewing!**

 **Valtiel:** _I actually do answer my reviewer's questions, so long as they don't ask for obvious spoilers lol. I will be rewriting the awakening part and Nia will be continuing her adventures as long as they keep on doing more Dragon Age games so yes she will be in Inquisition :) I hope you have enjoyed what you've read!_

 **PLEASE REVIEW! :D**


	74. High Dragon Time!

9:30 Drakonis ?

"What was that?" Eren gasped. I took in a deep breath and watched everyone as I looked back. We were barely inside of the next hallway even if I felt like I had walked an entire room. Many of us had tears in our eyes, some in disbelief, others in anger, but most held acceptance.

"Were those visions…real?" Derek let out a shudder.

"Does it matter? We should just continue forward and acquire the ashes. There is no use in laying around like mabaris." Morrigan scoffed but even I can tell whatever she saw, shook her.

"No. You guys keep going." I said, getting up and dusting off my knees.

"Nia?" Leliana looked at me and her face was flushed from hard crying.

"Sorry but this mission isn't mine." I gave the group a sympathetic smile. "I'm not Andrastrian, I don't care about the Chantry either. I'm not a pilgrim so I feel like I'm stepping on something too sacred here. I'm leaving. Bye guys." I walked back without looking back. "Who knows, maybe our paths will cross again."

"…Wait-" I heard Eren said.

"If that is the case then I might as well bid my farewell to you all. After all, my debt is owed to her not to the Grey Wardens." I heard Zevran catch up with me and he gave me a side glanced wink.

"There is no point to this. Gather the ashes if you must. I do not want to relive a vision again." Morrigan came around with other heavy footprints.

"Nia, we will speak later once we have gathered the ashes." I heard Eren's voice echo before we passed through the large hallway and settled into the first room. The benches were there and I doubt the others would be willing to stay on top of a mountain with a High Dragon watching over us. I took a deep breath before sitting down. Zevran sat down on the floor next to me while Morrigan had her eye on the open door toward the Gauntlet. The heavy footsteps were from Sten who also sighed and took a seat.

I was lost in thought, messing with my ring. I kept on remembering the words that my husband said to me. I tried to burn everything into my memory, how he looked like, his words, the way he made me feel. I smiled warmly and let out a breath.

"…What did you see?" I looked up and was surprised that it was Sten asking and not Zevran. No, Zevran's eyes were unfocused even if he did show that playful myrrh when we were walking.

"Someone that comforted me." I answered. "No matter what I do, they wouldn't judge me for my discretions or for my sins. Everything will wash clean in the end."

"Do not tell me you saw a God." Morrigan scoffed.

"Nah, I didn't get a religious vision or anything like that. Just someone that I knew would understand me no matter what." I replied.

"You seem at peace." Sten noticed.

"Yeah." I nodded. "What did you see Sten?"

"My guilt spoke to me." Sten said but didn't elaborate.

"Oh come now, we are not sharing stories of a lyrium filled dream. There was nothing there of significance, merely echoes of what could happen. Most likely we entered a field that was touched by the fade and had brought memories of the past with it. We were merely dreaming upright." Morrigan tried to explain away.

"Scared that whatever you saw was the truth?" I smirked. Morrigan glared and looked away. I saw Zevran with that still far off look, slightly guilty but still with acceptance. "I think there was more than what it seemed but this was supposed to help all of us in a way. At least that is what I believe." I added.

"It is not a bad way of thinking." Zevran said softly. We left it at that with Morrigan pacing and looking to where the rest of the group had gone, Sten going into a slight meditative stance, Zevran resting his head against my knee, and me closing my eyes. I was daydreaming but also getting ready I guess. Eren had said that he wanted to talk to me after all of this. Did he forgive me? Maybe. His vision was supposed to be about his dad but the vision didn't work out that way this time. It called for all of us not just him. I'm also really sure, beyond a doubt, that it wasn't JUST a vision. That was my husband through and through. If it was a spirit then they did a damn good job.

I wrote what I could, now to see what happens next.

9:30 Drakonis ?

It didn't take long for the others to retrieve the ashes though I think I did take a nap in between. Talen held up the small little pouch that held them and Eren was shifting on his feet. Zevran had taken the time to clean up his daggers and Morrigan finished pacing.

"We have done it." Wynne nodded.

"All for a fancy vase." Derek chuckled.

"That's really no way to respect Her you know." Alistair piped in.

"I'm surprised you still went through it Derek. Don't dwarves worship their ancestors and the Stone?" I wondered.

"Not bad missy, you know more than I thought. Either way, I'm still a Grey Warden so I should at least be there for the important bits." Derek chuckled.

"We've got what we needed, now we should be heading back." Eren said.

"You mean YOU guys are heading back, I was unceremoniously kicked out of the group remember?" I mentioned. Everyone looked at Eren who actually looked ashamed.

"Nia, walk with me." Eren said, going out of the Gauntlet. I looked at the others as I got up.

"If I die, please bury me somewhere green with lots of flowers please." I said before following him out.

Eren and I walked towards the middle of the field. Our footsteps echoed and I warily watched the dragon up on its perch, still sleeping. I wasn't sure what to expect from Eren. His emotions have been all over the place and, at this point, I can't even figure out what he was going to say to me.

"I want to apologize first. It seems that's all I'm really doing to you after all this time." Eren started with his back towards me. "For attacking you, belittling you, for…falling for you and trying to get you to stay by my side after all of that. I was…an ass." Eren rolled his shoulders and finally looked at me.

"Well, I would have called you a jerk but ass is good too." I chuckled. Eren's eyes played with the humor but he was still acting serious.

"I saw my father, I think. I know others believe that what they saw were merely hallucinations or something else…but that spirit I believe was him. He explained the attack, how you wished to save him, how he wouldn't have listened about Howe, and about the bravery you had to try to save my family." Eren explained, his brows furrowing and his voice getting shakier the more he talked. I stood at attention, carefully listening to him and waiting after all the silences. "I wanted someone to blame, someone to pay. I blamed the world, I blamed Howe," He spat out, "But I also blamed you. I blamed myself and my weakness. So my hate grew until it became a gnarled root inside of me. I had hope that you could help me with this so I tried to further my relationship with you even if you had denied me, there was still hope that perhaps we can become something more. That was my selfishness arising."

"So my hate grew and grew but I didn't know how to get rid of it. The anger was good when fighting but on the lulls that we had, I was at a loss. Before long, I started to feel the hate and anger consume me and when I heard the spirit talk about how you had failed…I snapped. I wanted you to suffer, I wanted you to perish. Long gone were my feelings and instead I only wished what I had gone through on you. I didn't want you around anymore because I had feared what I would do to you." Eren paced.

"What you wanted to do was kill me right then and there." I stated and Eren looked at me with slight shame. "What? After all this time you think I didn't pick up on automatic bloodlust? If you had reacted like that soon after the attack, I might have let you."

"Why?" Eren asked.

"Because I was in a low place with plenty of guilt. The Guardian wasn't wrong when he said I blame myself a lot and I mean a lot. I kept on beating myself up after I couldn't save anyone at the castle. No matter what I could think about, no matter how many times I played the situation in my head, I knew no one would believe me. Do you know how powerless I felt Eren? That I knew what was going to happen and not being able to do anything to stop it? It sucked. I was a tiny flea going up against a monster, at least that's how I felt. I was able to save you and Oren. I was able to save something, someone. It might not be the best silver lining but it was all I could think of so I didn't throw myself in the river." I explained. "At the time, if you had reacted with anger towards me, I would have accepted it but our experiences have changed us. I have to deal with my guilt, you dealt with your anger and hatred but keep in mind that the person you really need to kill is Howe, not me."

"I understand that now and I'm grateful that you are listening to me. Hah, after talking to my father and learning more, I understood everything. I'm still holding onto that anger and hatred, perhaps that won't go away for a while but I know where to aim my sword at. This Grey Warden business will make us face Loghain and Howe again. In the meantime, I will do whatever I can to gather our allies to fight the darkspawn. I kicked you out once but I'll ask you now, will you fight with us?" Eren asked.

I'll admit. Eren looked like a changed man. That burden was lessened because of his vision which was good and with this he has moved past his second hand blame against me. I wasn't going to be leaving anyway. I was going to still help them, one way or another but this makes everything easier.

"Well, I made a promise to your mom. I wasn't going to leave, for the most part, anyway." I said, taking out my hand. Eren gave me that wry smile, something that I haven't seen in a long time, and grabbed my hand. We did a good shake before he brought me in for a hug and patted my back.

"Good, because I'll need someone to put me in my place every so often." Eren let go and took a deep breath, a large weight off his back now.

"Yeah, anyway we should probably head inside before-" I started and then the dragon started to roar and flap its wings. Everyone surged out of the door with the dragon circling around Eren and I. We ran from its landing point and it roared at us again.

"It wakes." Eren finished my sentence, glaring at me.

"Yep, jinxed it, I know!" I shouted before we both ran in opposite directions to avoid its fiery breath.

"Ha ha! Finally! Come at me you beast!" I heard Derek yell from the other side of the battle field and I took cover near the ruins around us. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I got my daggers and looked from my cover. Derek, Sten, and Alistair were all gathered around the dragon, distracting it. From my point all I could see was Talen but he was already prepping a spell. I took a deep breath and went out. The dragon's footsteps echoed in the small valley of the mountain. It let out another breath of fire but I saw a bright barrier surrounding everyone.

I came on its hind legs and started to pierce through on the weaker part of its hide. It reared it up and I hit the deck to avoid its foot. Considering that I'm about half the size of it, it would have been bad if I got hit by it, which is a definite understatement as well. Zevran had the same idea as me and he was focusing on the other hind leg. He looked at me with a face that said, 'Are we seriously doing this? I'm going to die right?' I shrugged and laughed at the absurdity. You could use the gong of course, in game, but as reality sets in you have to realize that you're literally walking in dragon territory and if it woke up, of course it would hunt you down.

The dragon jumped away from our barrage and drew in a huge breath. I saw Wynne, Talen, and Morrigan shoot a simultaneous ice spell toward its mouth. It managed to gulp it down and it coughed it up before shooting another fireball to our mages. Another barrier came up and they managed to hide behind it. The ice spell gave us enough time to run up to it and continue our attack. Sten roared at the dragon constantly to get its attention and Derek made sure that it focused on the joints of the legs.

Once the dragon got fed up, it used its powerful wings to create a wall of wind which pushed all of us away. It took that time to fly into the sky, its roar piercing my head and the echo of the mountain made it worse. Zevran took my hand and made me run. Good thing too because a fireball was aimed at that spot.

"Ha ha! What fun!" Derek shouted as he ran alongside us.

"Pinche dwarf! You are the ONLY one enjoying this!" Zevran shouted as we had to separate to avoid a fiery breath aimed at the ground. The dragon circled around once more, letting out two fireballs before landing. The ground kept on burning as we tried to keep on attacking while not getting burnt to a crisp. Leliana and the mages kept their distance, near the entrance to the Gauntlet, flinging cold spells. Soon I noticed that the dragon's legs kept on spewing blood, pooling into the hot springs and holes in the mountain. It's labored breathing was noticeable and I'm not the only one that caught on.

"The beast is weakening! Give it everything you've got!" Eren shouted, running around, trying not to get swiped by the dragon's claws. As soon as he ordered that, everyone went on the defensive. Even our mages got out of their comfort zone to throw spell after spell at it. Leliana was focused on shooting out the eyes while everyone else focused on the legs. I saw Derek heave his hammer up and struck a leg, right on the joint. The dragon roared in pain as it couldn't stand on its own strength anymore and toppled down. It slid against the ground as it struggled to get up. I felt sad that we had to take down a majestic beast but it had to be done. It did try to eat us after all.

Once the dragon's belly was shown, it was only a matter of time before it died. Everyone's efforts on hacking it made the dragon die of blood loss. It laid its head on the ground, staring out into the sky as it knew it wouldn't survive. Soon the labored breathing stopped as the pools of blood grew ever outward. Eren gave the signal to stop and everyone took a step back from the corpse of the fallen dragon. All I could do was look at my armor and all the blood on it. The adrenaline finally settled and I felt weary considering we were breathing in sulfur and, now, the metallic smell of blood.

"We have done it! Ha!" Derek stood on one of the legs triumphantly.

"How saddening." I heard Morrigan whisper behind me.

"It was either it or us. I doubt we're going to be killing another dragon after this one though." Talen stretched out.

"I agree. Dragons are majestic beasts and they deserve respect for having such primal power." Leliana added.

"It's dead now and that's that." I shrugged. "What I'm wondering is if we can take some of its hide and use it."

"You mean make it into armor? Now that sounds awesome." Alistair said.

"Unfortunately we'll have to leave it here. We have the ashes for Eamon and we need to deliver it as soon as we can." Eren said, walking towards the ruins.

"What!? Not even a little of it's rump?!" Derek ran toward Eren.

"Leave it Derek." Eren ordered.

"Aww." Derek sulked.

"It would have been a fine pair of boots." Zevran nodded and I rolled my eyes. Eren managed to find a door that led through a series of long hallways that popped us out at the first wide chamber of the temple. At this point, the sun had gone down and the bonfire was still going. Alfred came up and twirled around Eren with Genitivi limping behind.

"I had heard dragon roars throughout the temple, don't tell me there was a High Dragon here?" Genitivi wondered.

"There was and we killed it!" Derek boasted.

"We also killed the majority of the cultists so there is no danger for you to be here anymore. I will be taking my mabari with me." Eren mentioned and Alfred barked.

"That's fine so were you able to find the ashes?" Genitivi asked with a shimmer in his eyes.

"They were found and we were allowed to take a pinch of them after a series of…arduous tasks." Eren sighed heavily.

"Tasks? I would like to have some explanations about these eventually but…I am amazed. I could never think that someone could ever reach their way to them! This discovery should be shared with the world!" Genitivi started to limp/pace around in front of us.

"Are the ashes self-rejuvenating?" Zevran wondered.

"I am very sure that this would change the Chantry, it should be shared." Leliana said.

"That's not really our decision is it?" Talen wondered.

"Look at it this way, only the ones that can actually get through with all the tasks can get a pinch. Having to meet with the Guardian, the questions, that vision, whatever you guys did to get to it, not everyone is going to get through." I explained. "In the end, whether hubris or greed will win against faith, that's going to be in the people's hands. If they use up all the ashes, then the world will only be the lesser for it and people will only have to blame themselves." I shrugged.

"Go with your discovery Genitivi, will you need any more help?" Eren asked.

"If I can accompany your group to Redcliffe, at least, then I will most certainly be grateful." He nodded.

"Then it will be done. We'll stay here for the night but, at dawn, we will begin our way back." Eren ordered. At that, everyone started to make up camp in front of the bonfire. We didn't have to put up our tents for once. I unrolled my cot and took off my chestplate before laying down with a big sigh of relief coming out of my mouth. Leliana and then Talen rolled up their cots next to mine before laying down next to me. Leliana gave me a small smile and Talen only stretched out while giving me a side glance.

"Weird isn't it? It feels like everything changed for some odd reason. Maybe it has or maybe I'm the only one thinking that." I whispered.

"A few things kinda hit close to home when the Guardian was talking." Talen scowled. "Not that it's bad but when he puts everything you've been doubting or your guilts out there like that, it's…" Talen scoffed.

"No one wants their secrets out in the open." I ended that thought.

"It was eye opening, for all of us I believe." Leliana added her say. I nodded.

"So…um…what did you guys see? In that vision?" I asked hesitantly.

"…Lady Cecilie." Leliana whispered.

"Not saying." Talen smirked. I shook my head.

"I saw my husband. It was nice." I closed my eyes while the two of them agreed with me. I eventually slept and woke up a little later. I wrote what I could with Sten who stared into the fire silently, more stoic since our experience. I don't blame him, we all have a few things to contemplate after this. Well time to rest.

9:30 Drakonis 3rd

We spent a day traveling out of Haven. It seems that everyone was in a pensive mood all day yesterday. Not many of us were talking, not even Morrigan who was usually at the ready with a few quips and stabs. In the end, we had the healers traveling with Genitivi with Lily, everyone else was walking. Of course, once out of the mountains, we ended up finding a man who was looking for his donkey…

"Hello travelers! Don't get many of your sort nowadays what with the darkspawn coming from beneath our feet." The merchant laughed.

"Is there anything you need stranger?" Derek asked as he was the one on the lead.

"Oh! Nothing much just hoping if anyone would like to trade or buy. I would have set up my cart but unfortunately my elven servant has been off searching for my missing donkey. Either way, I am here to abide by my trades! Many lucrative deals! I even have a golem control rod!" The merchant explained and my ears perked up.

"Golem control rod?" Talen wondered and nearly the rest of the group listened intently.

"Ha! You really think you have a REAL control rod? Pft! Golems haven't been around for centuries, even less one you think you can control." Derek said in disbelief.

"I am very serious good Ser! This is a genuine control rod!" The merchant said.

"Then where's the golem since you have its rod?" Alistair wondered.

"Err well that's the thing. I don't actually have the golem. Truthfully I was about to go and recover it. The golem is stationed in a village called Honnleath, a half a day's journey south. I have it marked on my map. How's this, I can give you the rod free of charge. I have to find my servant and donkey anyway or else I won't be able to move from this spot." The merchant suggested.

"We can't have any more detours. We have to get to Eamon." Eren scowled.

"But what if it's true?" I asked. "Having a golem on our side would be beneficial." I shrugged.

"Why don't we go separate ways? I can lead a few of us to Honnleath and the rest can go to Redcliffe to get the ashes to Eamon." Talen suggested.

"Heh, you just want to see a golem." Derek chuckled.

"A sentient steel soldier that can go around squishing everything in sight? Something that hasn't been seen in centuries or even how they were even made? I'm not going to pass a chance like this. Mages couldn't even begin to figure out how they walked years before. This is a once in a lifetime chance and I'm not passing it up." Talen was almost giddy as he explained why he wanted to go.

"Talen, it could be just a wild goose chase. We simply can't waste time on gathering our resources." Wynne chastised him.

"But this could be a resource, can it not?" Morrigan smirked as Wynne gave her a stern look. Eren rubbed his face and sighed.

"Fine, go and bring who you want Talen. It will be easier to travel if all of us can fit in the wagon." Eren said.

"Yes!" Talen shouted before clearing his throat and composing himself. It was cute to see him act his age.

"I'll go." I said.

"As will I." Leliana vouched.

"Can't let them go without backup." Alistair nodded.

"I might as well see what the fuss is about with this project no?" Zevran said.

"That should be good enough. Derek you sure you don't want to come? Golems are you people's thing right?" Talen offered.

"No thanks priss. I'm no blacksmith, I'm a warrior. The only thing that would happen if I went and you found a golem is a fight so I can test out the mettle of the golem, IF there's a golem. You go and have some fun, we'll wait for you at Redcliffe." Derek nodded.

"If you have your people then go to the village." Eren nodded. Alfred gave us a round of barks as the rest of the team headed out. Talen went up to the merchant with a mischievous smirk.

"Where's the map?" He asked. The merchant showed him and they compared maps. He also told Talen the password, dulefgar. He was able to get the coordinates and it was a bit of a walk. Luckily we only had the five of us. It won't be too long, hopefully. Talen grabbed the rod and looked at it with awe. We set off toward Honnleath with a faster pace than normal, Talen was up in front and was booking it. Seeing him get so excited and giddy was on the infectious side as I was starting to feel it as well.

"You don't really believe in this golem rod do you?" Zevran asked as he tried reaching for the rod in Talen's hand.

"Back off Zevran, this stays safe in my hands." Talen glared before looking at the rod with a twinkle in his eye.

"I get the feeling that Talen is a bit excited about all of this." Alistair chuckled.

"Yeah, it's cute." I laughed.

"I'm not cute!" Talen shot back and I put my arm around him while poking him in the cheek.

"Of course you're cute! You're the baby of the group so that automatically makes you the cutest one of all. You may have a few wrinkles on your brow already but you are adorable." I laughed before he shooed me away, his face tomato red.

"So long as I have the place of the most handsome then he can be as adorable as he likes." Zevran inspected his nails.

"I'm a grown man and I'd rather be called anything but cute or adorable. I can shoot fireballs out of my hands and maybe one of these days they'll do more than char the enemy." Talen stuck his tongue out at me.

"You know you can't live without me Talen." I winked.

"You…changed." Alistair stared at me. I raised an eyebrow.

"Probably. Seeing that vision at the Temple…" I took a deep breath and let it out. "Lifted a huge burden off my shoulders."

"I know how that feels like. I saw Duncan and…maybe he was real or maybe he wasn't but I'd like to believe it was him. Do you think the Guardian did that on purpose? We had to tell the things we were most uncomfortable to give us the visions to heal us, I think?" Alistair wondered.

"The Maker and His disciples work in mysterious ways. Believe what you want to believe Alistair and no one will fault you for it." Leliana said.

"Of course it would have been easier without all the drama that surfaced because of it. Are you well niña?" Zevran looked at me. I swiveled my lips a little before shrugging my shoulders.

"It was an emotional ride I'll say but it all worked out in the end. Eren finally healed some of the demons of his heart and I was able to get some of my emotional guilt out of the way too, even if it wasn't everything. Eren needed this." I said.

"I have a small question." Leliana said, coming up to me.

"Yeah, yeah, apparently everyone does right now." I nodded at her.

"The Guardian mentioned that you didn't walk with your name, what did that mean?" Leliana wondered.

"You know that thought crossed my mind as well." Alistair said and Talen looked back curiously.

"I didn't tell you guys? I thought I did huh. Nia isn't my real name." I answered.

"It isn't? Why?" Alistair said.

"My real name is not complicated but people tend to either mispronounce it or misspell it. Nia is easier, only three letters. I prefer it that way." I said.

"Then why not tell us your real name?" Leliana gave me that curious look.

"It would do no harm if you did." Zevran gave me his smirk.

"Nah." I laughed. "I've been known as Nia for nearly three years so I think I'll keep it that way. Besides, one of the things that Oriana did for me was forge some documents to make it seem I was a citizen of Antiva and Nia was my name on that. Can't be going around living with a fake real name then suddenly change it. It would be suspicious so for now I am Nia." I explained. When I go back to my own world then I go back to being my real name but I kept that to myself.

We kept on with small talk, parts of our visions or how we felt in the temple sneaked in as we grew more comfortable with each other. Leliana talked about her mother figure back in Orlais, of how she was proud and that her mother would be proud of her, despite her misgivings. It was her failures that made her into what she was today, what defined her and she shouldn't have to throw them away.

Alistair talked about Duncan and how he didn't blame him for any of the choices that he made that led to his death. Duncan saved him from being slaughtered and that Alistair should allow himself to grieve but to not lose himself in it. Duncan is gone but his spirit will always continue through him and the Grey Wardens. Alistair became quiet after talking about that.

Zevran and Talen wouldn't budge about their visions. I knew why Zevran didn't but Talen was really making me really curious. I wanted to know who it was because I knew it wasn't Jowan but someone else. The thing is I don't know who else was close enough to Talen to appear in his visions. Maybe one day he would tell me.

After picking up speed to get to Honnleath in a timely manner, we eventually reached it as the sun was dipping low. Not quite sunset but it was getting late. Before we even got to the gate, we saw the smoke rising in the sky. Wordlessly, we all caught each others eyes and ran. Alistair and Talen were at the front with their staff and sword out. That meant darkspawn. As we approached the gate, we found a few villagers trying to run as darkspawn chased them. Talen let out a fireball while Alistair ran past the villagers to ram his sword into a Hurlock that came barreling through.

Leliana got another Hurlock that was screeching from being caught in the fire blast. Two more came from the village with Zevran and I taking them down. I managed to cut deeply around its belly before plunging my dagger through their eye. The villagers that ran past us were nowhere to be seen and, as we passed the gate, we saw the destruction that befell on Honnleath. Fires were rampant among the houses, corpses were everywhere, and the smell of burning flesh was thick in the air.

"Well, golem or no golem, these people are going to need help." I let out a breath.

"All in a days work, let's go." Talen cracked his knuckles as we walked into town.

* * *

 **Beta'd by Syutaku!**

 **So 11 days ago, my daughter Aliyah was born! She is probably the healthiest of my babies to come out, no complications at all! Yay! I'm so happy. Right now, I'm trying to play catch up as fast as I can. As you can see, my chapters have gotten progressively longer. I wouldn't be surprised if my chapters go over 10k by the time I'm finished. The reason is so that I can get to the good stuff sooner. I have my entire Inquisition story mapped out, with a few bits and pieces that I still need to fine tune. My beta is still on the slow side on my Guardian story so sorry for the people waiting!**

 **Shout out to 96elchavez, Kurosaki95, and Kalyn9391 for favoriting/following!**

 **Thank you HellaRose ( _Thank you for the praise!_ ), Chimera Spyke ( _Keep up with the philosophy reviews because I enjoy them_ ), Valtiel ( _As you can see, Shale will have a larger part in this story than in my other one. I'm so glad you're enjoying yourself!)_ , For your reviews!**

 **Please Review! :D**


	75. Shale

9:30 Drakonis 3rd

Darkspawn came out in droves from the homes. A Hurlock emissary was among them with genlock bodyguards to boot. Hurlocks were plentiful as usual and they were the first ones that went on to attack us. Talen did a few sigils of protection for us before focusing on trying to get to the emissary with a few fire clicks of his staff. Leliana kept to the back, being our eyes behind our head. Alistair was our front man with Zevran and I at his sides.

Alistair rammed and kept his shield up. Those that went past him had to get through Zevran and I. Zevran had more finesse than I when it came to wielding his daggers. The way he zipped through the Hurlocks and his footwork allowed him to barely get any blood on him. That prideful look on his face made me want to smack him. I wasn't like that at all. With my medium armor on and my knuckles, the first thing I always did was put those knuckles on their faces. I usually had my right hand with the knuckles and my left with the blade.

I was a bloody mess by the time we got through the first wave of Hurlocks. By the time the last one fell, the emissary sent out an odd green fireball with the genlocks charging at us. Talen did a wave of a barrier around us as he joined our group. Alistair met with two genlocks while Zevran and I went for the other one. The emissary focused on Talen as they traded spells with each other. Talen had the upper hand at having a barrier constantly up but that took away his concentration from making a super fireball that would knock the emissary on its ass. Then the lovely Leliana showed her precision skills at taking out the eyeballs out of the genlock we were fighting, shooting a Genlock in between the eye balls, and making a pincushion out of the emissary that screeched at a few of her arrows.

When I looked back at her, I noticed that she had a vial of some sort of purplish liquid. Deathroot, from concentrate no doubt. When she had time to do that, I had no idea but I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Poison was a definite rogue tactic. Zevran had dealt quick but deadly cuts on our genlock while I had pushed in the arrow from one eye into the other. It squelched and the darkspawn roared in pain before I did a mean right hook and stabbed it underneath its chin and up into its head. Alistair had taken one genlock down but had taken some damage. His head was bleeding from a cut on his eyebrow that was bleeding heavily and he had trouble keeping the blood from obscuring his eyesight. Zevran had sneaked up on the genlock and stabbed both of his daggers into the back of it before jumping away. He sidestepped from a blow and plowed his daggers again on the weak ribcage. I came in and kicked the genlock in the face followed by a deep stab into the side of its head.

By the time we were going to help Talen with the emissary, he had already gathered enough ambient mana around him to finally conjure up a decent sized fireball. He aimed it at the emissary and it got knocked to the ground. As it was charging a counter spell, Alistair came up, used his templar abilities to dispel it, and stabbed downward on its head. The emissary did a death twitch before becoming completely still. I took a deep breath and let it out, letting my body relax after the battle. It was getting easier though killing darkspawn was always easier than human enemies. The fact that I know what to do and was getting better made things move smoother.

"The place is clear, for now. I feel more darkspawn but underground. For some reason they're not coming up to attack us." Talen said, coming over and doing a quick healing spell on Alistair.

"Oh that feels better." Alistair grunted, no longer having a pained expression.

"Take a potion to ease away the hurt, otherwise you're going to wake up with bad bruises tomorrow." Talen suggested. Leliana came over to meet with us and we traveled further into the village. Many of the homes were creaking and crackling with the fire. Two homes collapsed while we walked and we found a cobblestone pathway leading into the center of the village.

That's where we found Shale. She was standing in the middle of a garden, a basket filled with seeds near her, a few pigeons flew away as we got closer. I have to say that she was a mess. She had bird crap all over herself and all matter of gunk surrounded her. I guess the fact the villagers didn't want to get near her was an understatement, she really needed cleaning. Talen came up and looked her over.

"I thought golems were…taller." Talen pouted.

"Well we have the golem. Use the control rod my friend." Zevran suggested and Talen nodded. He brought it out of his robes and touched the golem.

"Dulefgar." He said but nothing happened. Not even a twitch from Shale.

"Hmph, it seems that rod is nothing but a stick." Zevran shrugged. Talen scowled.

"Whatever, we came, we saw, we got nothing. Let's go find those darkspawn that don't want to fight us." Talen stomped away.

"We had hope but it was always a small chance." Leliana sighed. We followed Talen toward a cellar entrance. We went in and followed the stairs down and we found the rest of the villagers. A purplish barrier was erected between the villagers and the darkspawn. Most of the darkspawn were trying to force through it but to no avail. Once they sensed Talen and Alistair, however, they stopped banging on the magical barrier and went for us. They were led by a Hurlock Alpha which Alistair gladly faced himself.

Talen cast a protect barrier around him and Leliana while Zevran and I jumped the last steps to get to the darkspawn. We made short work with the few Hurlocks that were around. It sucked fighting in such a small space. Talen couldn't use any of his big spells. He, instead, relied on his wisps of flames coming from his staff. They can never miss so long as he has a target. The Hurlocks weakened with the fire which allowed Zevran and I to kill the rest. The Alpha was keeping Alistair preoccupied and Alistair moved slower since he didn't take the potion after he was healed.

Zevran and I positioned ourselves behind the Alpha, missing a swing from its large axe. I jumped up and plunged my daggers into its back while Zevran focused on his lower back area that was uncovered. Zevran stabbed multiple times while my good grip allowed me to churn my blades around its back before we both jumped back. It focused its attention on us but had its back to Alistair who used that to stab right through its chest. The Alpha slumped onto the floor. The villagers, that were screaming and crying throughout it all, clapped as we approached the magical barrier.

"Thank the Maker you were here." A woman said as a few others shared their thanks as well.

"Were you sent by the Bann to save us?" A man asked. Talen and Alistair looked at each other.

"Actually we were only in passing my good man. This was merely a coincidence though a nice one considering your circumstances." Alistair chuckled sheepishly.

"We're Grey Wardens and it's our job to kill darkspawn. You're welcome by the way." Talen said brusquely.

"Thank the Maker for our good fortune then but if you weren't sent by someone, why have you come into our village if you don't mind me asking?" The man asked.

"We got a control rod from someone down the road and came here to recover the golem that you guys have up front." Talen explained.

"A control rod…?" He sighed. "Then that means you came here looking for Shale." He shook his head. I put up his hands and the magical barrier lost its solid state. The villagers behind him ran out.

"Go to Redcliffe, it's safe there." Talen said as they ran past us.

"Apostate." Alistair whispered before I elbowed him in the ribs that hurt. He coughed before the man signaled us forward. Talen put his hands on the barrier that still managed to remain though its power has gone down. I saw that sparkle in his eyes before he passed through as did the rest of us.

"That damn golem has brought my family nothing but trouble. My mother sold off its control rod years ago after it killed my father. I thought that was the end of that but apparently not." He looked at the rod that Talen took out with disdain.

"Your father? I'm guessing he was a mage then?" Talen asked.

"Yes. My name is Matthias and my father's name was Wilhelm. A mage to the arls of Redcliffe, a hero in the war against Orlais, and what did he get? A defective golem that almost tore him apart. My mother found him outside of the tower, all of his bones broken and his body barely recognizable. Shale stood over him just like it is now. My father deserved better but if you really want to wake Shale up…then it's yours now." He scoffed.

"But we used the command that was supposed to wake it up but nothing happened." Talen said.

"Then my mother must have passed the wrong command when she sold it. She never wanted to see Shale activated again. I am willing to give you the phrase but I need your help first." Matthias asked.

"I'm listening." Talen nodded.

"I know you have already saved my life and the lives of the villagers, I am truly grateful for that, but my daughter, Amalia, ran further inside, towards the laboratory. She was afraid and ran too far before I could stop her. I have no idea how she was able to get through the laboratory's defenses. I tried to send one of the men out but he was killed. Please, could you find her and get her out?" Matthias asked.

"We won't abandon a child." Leliana said.

"Well said." Alistair nodded.

"We'll find her." Talen agreed.

"Thank the Maker! My father's laboratory is just past the next area, she has to be there! I will wait here until you all have returned." Matthias said and we followed Talen toward the passageway that was carved out. It was carved extremely narrow to where we had to go in single file. After passing that, we found a carved out cavern, small and musty.

"No one has gone through here for a while." I said, feeling the cold of the underground go through my armor.

"Well since one guy has died already, I'm sure that no one else wanted to go through here in the first place." Alistair said.

"Still let us be off and find this child no? The cold of the underground is not at all pleasant." Zevran shivered slightly.

We continued forward past a doorway where we saw another cavern filled with empty bookcases and a desk at the far wall. The wood was rotting away, some cases had already fallen apart. There were no other books but it looked like one was still at the desk. We walked and Talen saw the next passage when four shades came from the walls. These were the defenses that Matthias was talking. Talen cloaked us in a barrier as the shades came closer. Alistair got one through some slashes and a shield bash. I evaded one, did a stab as well as a slice on its back. It reared back and I dodged its slash into the wall. It tried slashing at me again but I evaded, did a kick on its face before stabbing on its one good eye.

Talen made a ring of fire appear around him and Leliana. She used the confusion to shoot one in the eye and stab an arrow into another that got too close. Zevran finished off the last one with quick stabs and cuts.

"Do you think she might still be alive? I doubt a single girl would be able to get through here." Zevran wondered.

"Well her grandfather was a mage, her dad is a mage, maybe she's one too. You never know." I said.

"We'll know for sure the further we go in." Talen said. We followed another tight passageway that had a few crystals on the rocks. I saw Leliana's eyes light up at that. We walked along a very rickety path and found ourselves crossing another magical barrier. We saw Amalia kneeling in front of a cat, cooing at it.

"You're so pretty kitty. I can't wait to take you home." Amalia said while the cat looked at her, its tail swishing to and fro.

"Amalia? You're Matthias daughter right?" Talen said.

"Oh! Someone's come to play! Are you going to stay here and play with us? We're playing a guessing game." Amalia said.

"Um we're not here to play. We're here to get you back to your father." Alistair mentioned.

"You can tell father I'm fine. Maybe he can come here and stay and play with us! Since you're not here to play then you can leave, kitty finds you distracting." She explained.

"The cat finds us distracting?" Zevran chuckled.

"We need to go Amalia, your father is worried sick." Leliana said.

"I can't go! If I go then kitty will be lonely!" Amalia cried out.

"You're so kind Amalia. I would miss you terribly if you left." The cat said. We all looked at each other.

"A talking cat? You can scratch that off my 'This isn't real' list." Talen said.

"Talking is simple enough." The cat said.

"That is not a cat." Leliana glared.

"I am a cat. Really." The cat deadpanned. The cat licked its paws. "Nothing you can say will convince Amalia to go with you. She loves only me now. I am her friend while you are merely a stranger."

"We need the girl." Talen said.

"Then we are at an impasse. Allow me to offer a…compromise. Free me and let me take the girl. We shall return to her father and leave this place forever." The cat stretched.

"You're a demon who wants to possess an innocent girl, why do you think we should let you go?" Alistair's voice churned with anger.

"Such a crude way of putting it. I will not harm Amalia. I only merely want to experience this world through a human's eyes, is that so wrong?" The cat's eyes flickered. Alistair and Leliana's faces were both of stern anger while Zevran seemed to be bored. Talen rubbed his chin.

"Ok I'll take down the barrier, what do I need to do?" Talen asked.

"Talen!" Alistair raised his voice but Talen kept his eyes on the cat.

"I am glad you have seen it my way. The magical barrier that the mage had enacted is the only thing keeping me here. The runes that have been inlaid on the ground are the items keeping it activated. The girl had no luck breaking through but perhaps you can break it." The cat explained.

"Yay! Kitty gets to go free!" Amalia clapped her hands. Leliana and Alistair looked at each other with worry.

"Talen isn't stupid guys, trust him." I said. Talen looked at me with a smirk and a wink. I'm pretty sure that he just lied to the demon. There's no way he would let it go out and possess Amalia. We stood by while Talen moved the runes one by one with commentary from Amalia, all about her precious 'kitty.' Talen was concentrated and finally finished connecting the runes. The barrier behind us dissipated and Talen came over to us.

"Yes! I can feel the barrier go down!" The cat reared its back.

"Kitty what's happening?" Amalia asked.

"Something wonderful my dear. Now, if you will let me take the girl…" The cat started and Amalia started to walk backward away from it.

"No!" She cried out.

"I said I would drop the barrier but I didn't agree to let you possess her." Talen said, taking out his staff.

"Betrayal!" The cat screeched as Amalia ran from us and away. The cat shed its disguise and a desire demon floated in its place. Talen immediately hit it with a fireball with Alistair coming in and dispelling the magic surrounding the demon. The desire demon screeched as she tried clawing Alistair. Leliana shot off a few arrows that hit directly on the chest. I was about to go with Zevran behind her before Alistair used his shield to bring her down and stabbed through the chest. The demon gurgled before sinking into demonic essence.

"Talen, you really convinced me!" Alistair laughed while slapping Talen on the back.

"Ow!" Talen rubbed his back and Leliana squeezed his shoulder.

"That was a fine deception." Leliana praised. Talen's face reddened slightly.

"It was nothing. Anyway, we should go and make sure Amalia is ok." Talen suggested. So we walked back to the cellar. We found a few shades on the way but they were easily taken care of. When they sank back into essence, there were crystals on the floor. Leliana looked at them with glee and gathered them up. Talen picked one up and hummed.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

"No just…these crystals seemed to have magical properties. Not likes runes but similar to them. They definitely have some element attached to them. Gather up all you can so I can run some experiments." Talen suggested and so we gathered up all the gleaming crystals away in our packs. We saw Matthias and Amalia up ahead, giving each other a hug.

"Oh I can't believe you brought her back safe and sound!" Matthias let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry I ran father, I was just so scared." Amalia said.

"It's ok now, it's all going to be ok. Now for the command phrase. Hold your control rod to Shale and say 'Dulen harn.' Here, as well, for the trouble." Matthias gave a pouch to Talen before exiting the cellar.

"Hm, coin." Talen threw the pouch before catching it and putting it in his pack. "Now, let's go see that golem!" Talen went up the stairs first.

"He's like a kid." Alistair chuckled.

"Well considering his age, he actually is a kid." I mentioned. "It's nice to see him act the way he should be, with fascination about magic and research, not just tearing his hair out with the Blight."

"I agree. The fact that he can still enjoy himself, even with the stress, is wonderful." Leliana said.

"Wonderful sure, what will be wonderful is the fact we are about to welcome a fully functional battering ram." Zevran laughed.

"How do you guys feel about this? I mean, golems are just things you can control right? Nothing more?" Alistair wondered.

"You are worried that these are sentient beings and we are essentially making them a slave yes?" Leliana asked.

"I've heard stories passed down from other dwarven Grey Wardens. Rumors about how golems were once people and this doesn't really sit well with me." Alistair groaned.

"Ah put on a smile my templar friend! You can always assume that these are just highly engineered pieces of dwarven smithing!" Zevran patted Alistair's arm.

"Not exactly the thing I wanted to hear…" Alistair mumbled.

"We'll just have to see and then make a decision." I said. We got out of the cellar and Talen was standing in front of Shale. I noticed that he poked the crystals that were already on Shale and has his thinking face on before we got there.

"Everyone ready?" He asked.

"Go ahead Talen." I nodded. Talen brought out the control rod and aimed it at Shale.

"Dulen harn." He recited. At first, nothing happen then the rock grinding started. Soon, Shale's arms started to move as well as her entire body. It almost looked like a person cracking their bones after being stiff, which is actually something I wouldn't put past her. She stomped her feet slight before rocking her head back and forth. The shining eyes and mouth was really weird and off putting. I'm sure I'll get used to it though. She took a deep breath before letting out a sigh.

"I knew one day would come when someone would find the control rod." Shale's voice slightly boomed and echoed. Talen actually stepped back, his eyes in a full on twinkle as he stared at her with awe. The rest of the group gave unbelieving looks while I slightly smirked. She looked Talen up and down. "And a mage this time, how droll. As if I hadn't had enough of those pestering experiments. Typical." I had to stifle a laugh. Oh I loved Shale and, hopefully, I'd be able to get her to call me 'she' instead of 'it!'

"Um…well…that was a good hello, I guess?" Talen looked at me with a confused face. I'm sure he's questioning 'Are they supposed to talk like this?' Well, Shale was special.

"Hmph, you cannot believe how long I stood in this spot while I watched the wretched little villagers scurry around me for, oh, so many, many years." Shale scoffed.

"Oh you terrible thing. That must have been…really, really boring." Leliana mentioned.

"And the villagers never knew they were being watched? Yes that is all sorts of creepy." Alistair mumbled.

"I was beginning to enjoy the quiet too." Shale looked around the destroyed village. "Tell me, are ALL the villagers dead?" Shale asked.

"Who would ask that?" Zevran laughed. Talen gave him a look.

"No, we saved a few." Talen said.

"Pity." Shale scoffed.

"So I'm sure you don't want to be called 'golem' all the time, do you have a name?" I asked.

"Perhaps though I might have forgotten through the years of only being called that. 'Golem, fetch me that chair.' 'Do be a good golem and squash that insipid bandit for me.' And let's not forget, 'Golem, pick me up, I tire of walking.'" Shale let out a disgruntled snort. I could tell that she would cross her arms if they weren't so big. "It does have the control rod, does it not? I am awake so…it…must…"

"Is something wrong?" Talen wondered.

"I see the control rod and yet I feel…Go on, order me to do something." Shale asked for it.

"Uh, ok. Golem, walk over there." Talen ordered.

"And…nothing? I feel nothing, no compulsion to carry out its command whatsoever. I suppose this must mean the rod is…broken?" Shale wondered. Talen ran his hand through his hair.

"I guess that means you should be happy about this right?" Talen asked.

"Well, if I can't be commanded then this means…I have free will, yes? Now begs the conundrum of what should I do? I have no memories beyond this village for so long. I have no real purpose…hmm…I find myself at a loss. What about it? I believe that it awoken me for some purpose, no? What did it intend to do with me?" Shale asked.

"I first came here to see if you were real at first. Now, with the way you are, I'm not actually sure." Talen shrugged.

"Wonderful." I imagined Shale rolling her eyes. "There are two options for me. I could always follow it…or maybe I can venture out beyond the village? I…can't even fathom what can be out there…"

"We can always welcome you into the group if you're not sure." Talen suggested.

"Are you sure about that? I mean, just look at the size of it!" Alistair breathed out.

"Alistair, are you seriously denying everyone a fricking golem?" I looked at him. "I can't even list all the pros of what's happening here and, believe me, there are a lot of them."

"Alright, alright." Alistair stood down.

"Then I will follow it, for the time being. I am called Shale, by the way." Shale introduced herself.

"Welcome Shale. Let's go guys, looks like we're going to have to camp out for the night before moving on to Redcliffe." Talen said since the sun was already setting. We walked out of the village with Shale trailing behind us. I tried not to look back because I knew that Shale hated to be prodded and looked at like a museum piece. I was so curious though and she was always one of my most favorite of characters too, that sass! That strength! That bluntness both literal and figurative!

I kept my giddiness down as we camped near a lake. Shale had taken to try to scrub out the grime and filth that had accumulated on her for years and having difficulty doing so. I still had some soap in my pack with the crystals that I picked up. I went toward Shale as I set up my cot. Shale looked at me with suspicion as I drew closer.

"Um I noticed that you were having difficulty washing your body. I have soap here and these crystals. I had a feeling they went with you." I said, feeling a stupid smile on my face.

"Ah, augmentation crystals? Fine, it may wash me as well as placing those crystals on my body. There are slots on my shoulder as well as my knuckles. It may place them, come on now, I want to shine from head to toe!" Shale said and I nodded my head. I lathered up the soap and, using a spare brush for Lily, started getting the grime off of Shale's body. I hummed softly while I washed her before I got everything off. Shale walked off more into the lake until she disappeared and then reappeared, the soap all washed off. It was weirdly reminiscent of a spa day for her with me as the spa lady. She showed me the slots and I put in the ones that I had. The large crystals that crackled, I put on her shoulders while the ones that resembled fire, I put on her knuckles.

"So? What does it think? They don't make me look any wider do they? I find myself wide enough as it is." Shale showed off her body.

"Oh no, they actually look very slimming." I nodded.

"It must have been the vertical positioning that it put them in. How could it have known? Must have been luck but, otherwise, a good sort of luck." Shale's body language was definitely one of happiness.

"We found more back in the cave. We all gathered them and I'm sure if you want more then we can put more." I offered.

"The large crystals it put in should be enough. I would love to glitter from ear to ear but I fear it may affect my fighting capabilities. Very well, that should be all." Shale went off and stomped near the trees around our camp. I went back to my cot with a big smile on my face. I don't care if I was wet, I was ecstatic.

"You are in a good mood mi niña. Is there something or someone that has made you that way?" Zevran said as he sat down next to me.

"Don't think it's you Zevran but…I'm going to admit, having Shale around is…really cool." I giggled and lightly touched my fingers.

"You and Talen are so weird." Alistair said, biting into some dry bread.

"I've always been weird." I shrugged. "I've just been more comfortable now so my weirdness is going to shine a bit more." I took out some of the smoked meat and squished bread. "Besides, being normal is overrated nowadays."

"I find that it's good you are more comfortable." Leliana said and I smiled at her.

"Oh Talen, Shale said that the crystals that we recovered from the lab are augmentation crystals. They seem to be attuned to her." I explained.

"Huh, interesting. Do you think I'd be able to ask her to test them out?" Talen wondered.

"Ehh…" I shook my head. "Give her some time to adjust to her surroundings before you go asking for stuff like that. I get the feeling she won't be warm to the idea."

"She's a golem that can talk. I don't think there's much she can complain about." Alistair mentioned.

"I believe we all just need rest and we should discuss our findings with the rest of our group in Redcliffe." Leliana said.

"I second that. Now, would anyone like to have a massage to relax them before-"

"Pass." I said, finishing off my food and sitting on my cot.

"No." Leliana denied.

"Don't even think about it." Alistair glared.

"If you want to get roasted…" Talen let that hang.

"Are all Fereldan's so squeamish with sex?" Zevran wondered.

"Good night Zevran."

9:30 Drakonis 4th

"I must say, seeing the squishy things look dead throughout the night was unnerving. I didn't know whether I should have crushed it to make sure it was alive." Shale regaled us on our sleeping habits. "Especially the mage and the heavily armored one. There was nonstop twitching, what is with the twitching?"

"We get nightmares ok? We twitch." Talen said.

"It is unnatural especially with the painted elf and its fleshy bit in the middle of its body." Shale mentioned.

"Ok that is personal information that I believe should not be shared." Zevran shot back.

"Yeah, way too much information." I rolled my eyes.

"After many years of watching those squishy villagers run about, I find it amusing that there are very little differences with other squishy things." Shale said.

"There are many differences from the villages. We know how to fight, I'm a mage, Alistair is a templar, the painted elf is an assassin, Leliana is a bard, and Nia is a bodyguard." Talen smirked at Zevran. He obviously liked the nickname that Shale put on him.

"Ah yes, the tiny one. There is something different about it." Shale said.

"Wait, are you referring to me?" I pointed at myself.

"Did I not make myself clear? The elves have always been tiny and frail creatures." Shale said.

"But I'm not an elf." I shook my head.

"Truly? I thought that its ears were taken. Then its human and a tiny one at that. Tell me, how does it even survive in battle?" Shale wondered.

"Sometimes through luck but mostly because I stab and smash my enemies." I said.

"To be able to live this long, I attribute its survival due to luck." Shale concluded. I had to fight the urge to laugh even if she was making fun of me.

"You are rather on the short side." Alistair chuckled.

"Short enough to hit where it hurts Alistair." I threatened and he gave a nervous chuckled. With Shale's various ramblings, we made it to Redcliffe by afternoon. What I wouldn't give for a clock. Eamon's recovery had already spread amongst the villagers. By the time we arrived, Eren had greeted us with a wide smile and a myrrh of amusement that I haven't seen since Highever.

"I'm glad you made it back safely and, with our extra friend, I'm sure that everything went well?" Eren said.

"I am guessing that this is its leader?" Shale looked unconvinced.

"That I am, unspoken of course. Your name is?" Eren asked.

"Shale, not that I need its own name. All you squishy ones are the same." Shale said, walking through the room. I heard a few screams from the cleaning ladies from outside. Eren laughed, actually laughed.

"Did something good happen?" I asked.

"More than that. Eamon is now on his feet proper but we found someone else traveling. They found my brother, Nia. They found Fergus!"

* * *

 **Beta'd by Syutaku**

 **Oh boy, I got my work cut out for me now that I've introduced Shale. Sassiness abounds! I've always loved her character, all her ribbing and brutal honesty. Kinda reminds me of me when I get comfortable with a person though I'm more of the innocently insulting part. It seems I have a tone that makes others think I"m insulting them when I'm not really. Anyway, did you guys see the leak of information regarding the next DA game? It wasn't so much of a leak but more of some art designs and a mysterious cloaked, bearded, bald, figure hmmmm?**

 **Chimera Spyke:** _I think more of the Guardian visit as a improntu therapy session. Of the few I've had, when you have your pains and your guilt thrust upon you, and then forgiven, it makes a difference. It's how I was about to go through my own demons. Besides, I wanted the group dynamic to come out stronger, especially before the Deep Roads because that will be different than what I wrote, hehe. Thank you for the congratulations :) They mean a lot._

 **Please Review!**


	76. Between a Rock and a Hard Place

9:30 Drakonis 4th

My eyes grew wide as Eren's smile grew wider.

"Come with me." Eren took my wrist as he started to lead me through the castle. We went past the main entrance and up the stairs. My heart pounded in my chest. I knew that Fergus was still alive but he usually doesn't come around until after everything has happened. We stopped in front of a room where Wynne was there chatting with Fergus. He was in bed with his leg wrapped up to his knee and he had several scars on his face.

"Well if it isn't my baby brother and…Nia! I would get up to greet you but I'm slightly indisposed right now." Fergus chuckled.

"If you tried like earlier yesterday, I will make sure that you stay in that bed for a very long time." Wynne gave him a stern look.

"You can't blame me Wynn. After all, I was overly excited to see my brother." Fergus gave her a crooked smile. Wynne scoffed but in good fun.

"Glad to see you are unharmed." Wynne got up and gave me a warm smile before focusing on Eren.

"Make sure that he drinks his potion twice a day. I will come back to see about his leg later." Wynne said.

"Come here my dear brother. Very good to see you as well Nia." Fergus settled on the bed higher with Eren helping settling him down on extra pillows. I fidgeted at the doorway before sitting on a chair that was near him.

"It's good to see you too Fergus. I didn't even know that you…well…" I started.

"No, if you thought I had died, I wouldn't blame you. Truthfully, I thought I was a goner as well. If it wasn't for the Chasind fold in the Korcari Wilds, I'd be in the Maker's bosom right now." Fergus chuckled. Eren took a stool to sit near him.

"It's good to see you Fergus and we're already bringing Oren from the Circle so he can stay here with you." Eren explained.

"Oren is coming too?" I wondered.

"I will be picking him up as soon as I can. You'll have to wait until then but I'm sure we'll be picking our next destination soon." Eren explained.

"Oh…" I looked down at my hands.

"Nia…Eren told me what happened to our childhood home." Fergus said in a low voice. My hands balled into fists while I felt myself becoming smaller.

"I'm so sorry Fergus. I tried so hard but I failed…I couldn't save anyone." My voice broke as I felt the tears come in.

"What do mean you couldn't? My brother is here with me isn't he?" Fergus said and I looked up. Fergus softly smiled at me. There was pain in his eyes but there was no sense of disappointment, no blame, no anger, just quiet understanding. "You saved him and you saved my son. It would be too much to ask if you could have saved everyone. I understand and I thank you for doing everything possible for my family." A few tears were shed but I felt like I've cried enough for that specific failure.

"Well he knows who to really blame, Rendon Howe." Eren's voice was full of spite as soon as he said the name.

"Yes. Hopefully we'll be able to do something about him once the Blight is over." Fergus said.

"Well no one is really focused on people going missing because of the Blight. All it takes is a little accident right?" I mentioned. Fergus and Eren both gave me amused looks. "I said that aloud didn't I?" Both of them laughed and the tension dissipated.

"Well, I should get going. The sooner I can get Oren here, the better. You focus on getting better and Wynne will know if you're skipping your potion." Eren said, bringing a bottle out of the drawer next to the bed.

"Yes, yes little brother." Fergus said, while I stood up, ready to get going too.

"Get well soon Fergus." I said and Fergus nodded. Eren and I walked out, Eren shutting the door behind us. He let out a long breath and looked at me with furrowed brows but still a smile on his face.

"You have no idea the relief I had when they found Fergus on the road. At first I thought it was a cruel joke by the Maker but no, he's here and he's alive." Eren let out a sharp breath that was mixed with a sob. "My brother is alive." He covered his eyes with his hand but I saw his trembling lip and how he was trying so hard not to completely break. There wasn't anything to be said. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. He sobbed quietly. I'm sure he wanted to cry for a long time and he probably did when he first saw Fergus. He also must have cried explaining their situation. I imagined both of them crying together many times.

This was Eren's own grief, his relief, his happiness, mixing into one ball of emotions that wasn't easily shared. Crying was always the next best thing. I pulled Eren into a hug and he relaxed his body into mine, keeping a mild distance still. He rested his head on my shoulder. It must have been uncomfortable considering I still had my armor on but he did so nonetheless. He let out shuddering breaths before he composed himself. He wiped his eyes and cleared his throat.

"Thank you." Eren said.

"My shoulder is always free unless Alistair is crying on it, then it's not." I said and Eren gave a light chuckled.

"I'll be going now. Tell everyone where I'm going and to discuss where should be go after this." Eren said as we both went downstairs to the first floor.

"Don't worry I will. We'll be waiting for our illustrious leader to come back." I did a small bow and Eren pushed me lightly, in good fun.

"Nia, truly, I am thankful for all you've done for me. What happened in the Temple made me realize how lucky to have you by my side." Eren looked at me seriously. "All the things I've said, the things I've done, how I've made you uncomfortable, and how I've been ungrateful, I'm so sorry."

"What's done is done Eren." I gave him a small smile while I did a fist bump on his chest. "I've forgiven you so let's put everything back in the past and look toward the future. Eamon is healed and we got the mages on our side. Not bad for 2 months of traveling. We got the dwarves and the elves to convince but I'm sure everything is going to go well. Now go get Oren so you can have a proper family reunion." I said. Eren nodded and, for once, there wasn't any tension or awkwardness. It was almost as if we returned to those few months before he developed feelings for me, that odd relationship in which we were grateful just for our presence. Eren has moved on and grieved properly. I have accepted the worst of what I must do to get home, all the while repenting for what I have to do.

Our emotions have settled and I wouldn't have it any other way. Eren left through the main entrance while I went to exploring to find my room again. I heard a few voices coming from Eamon's office and I saw Alistair talking animatedly with Eamon. I crept closer to see how Eamon was faring.

His face was gaunt but it looked like he was bathed recently. His hair wasn't oily and his beard was trimmed and washed. His clothing was loose fitting. Who knew how long he was poisoned and in his coma. His voiced still boomed however. I was able to go and leave them by themselves until I heard 'Jowan.' I knew that eavesdropping wasn't something that people should do but I hung around to hear more.

"Are you sure you want to sentence him now Eamon? Wouldn't it be better to just have him in the dungeons until after the Blight?" I heard Alistair say.

"He poisoned me, allowed my son to be possessed, and his actions indirectly caused the death of my wife Alistair. The utter fact that I am not executing him myself is a show of my patience but it's that same patience that is wearing thin now. I would rather him be judged now rather than facing him escaping during the madness of the Blight." Eamon explained. It wasn't a bad explanation either.

"Well, can't we at least wait until Eren comes back? He is the one that does all the big decisions." Alistair sighed.

"I can wait until then but no more." I heard some scribbling from Eamon.

"It's not something I'm looking forward to." Alistair mumbled.

"You have been very vocal about this apostate Alistair. It's not like you. I would have thought that with your templar training, you would want him to be sent off to the Circle for sentencing as soon as possible." Eamon wondered.

"Well that would be something I would do if the decision was left to me but…well, someone in our group knows Jowan." I could tell that he was fidgeting when he said this.

"Someone?" Eamon asked.

"Ah…yes. He just came back from a mission. His name is Talen. He and Jowan are like brothers and I'm sure he would want to be there when you sentence him." Alistair explained. Eamon became silent and then let out a long sigh.

"Your group was the one that saved me and that allows a flexibility in choosing. For now, I will await Eren to come back so the decision will fall on him. He is the one that is leading your party. If Talen doesn't agree, then it will between them." Eamon replied.

"Yes Arl Eamon." Alistair said and I took that as my cue to leave. I snuck away toward the gardens. Right now, they're using the gardens as a makeshift training grounds. Now that Eamon was awake, the word was going around all of Ferelden to recall all of his soldiers. I passed a few that were using training dummies. Wynne was there tending to a few herbs in the garden that were used to heal wounds.

"Nia, it's good to see you. I'm sorry my welcome back wasn't as warm as it could be. That Fergus…" Wynne shook her head.

"It's ok Wynne." I chuckled. "Eren was always more serious than his brother so I'm not surprised he was giving you a hard time."

"But it's good to see you back. I am surprised that you were able to find the golem after all. Oh, Shale I mean to say." Wynne said.

"Yep, she's really cool isn't she? Even if she calls me the tiny one." I said. Wynne chuckled and we both sat underneath a tree while Wynne began to categorize her herbs. "Hey Wynne? What do you think is going to happen to Jowan?"

"Did you hear someone talking about him?" Wynne asked. I nodded.

"Eamon was talking to Alistair about sentencing him. He was going to give the decision to Eren once he gets back from the Circle." I explained. Wynne sighed.

"It will be a difficult decision. Jowan had two paths in front of him, with no other way to run, in the Circle and as well as the world once he was outside. Forced to become a tranquil and then forced into betraying Ferelden to secure a position in the Circle again. I could see how Jowan was easily manipulated, trying to find a sense of freedom but a choice is still a choice. He could have chosen not to dabble in blood magic but he did. He could have declined Loghain's offer but he didn't. I understand his actions to an extent but he is a grown man and should have made careful decisions even if they were hard." Wynne explained. Ever the stern one.

"You ever think that the Circle was in the wrong here? Talen had told me it was because Jowan was scheduled to be tranquil that he turned to blood magic. I thought tranquility was supposed to be used as a last resort." I said. Wynne's lips thinned.

"It was but as the years went by the templars started to see malificar more readily. Mages that couldn't come into their power or those that had troubles controlling their magic were tranquiled as they were deemed as a danger to themselves and others. Templars believed that mages that couldn't control their magic or were slower than other mages, were more susceptible to possession. They believed that it would be better for everyone if they were tranquiled." Wynne explained. "It is not a perfect solution by far but it's the only one we have to truly safeguard the mages that have passed their Harrowing. Those that can't control their power are still dangerous."

"I think it's still too harsh of a sentence just because you need more help than others. Would you consider someone that lost their leg dangerous? Or someone that's slower mentally than others dangerous?" I asked.

"No but those people are normal. You forget that mages are able to tap into the fade, control the elements at our fingertips, and face the danger of being taken over by demons. Any sort of weakness is a danger and demons love to play with our weaknesses, to find a way through our mental defenses and take over. It is more complicated than a simple disability." Wynne sternly explained. I sighed and put my chin in my hand.

"Yeah it is. I don't like it though. Being tranquil, cut off from everything, not being able to feel emotions? It would be a punishment I wouldn't wish on the worst of my enemies, maybe." I mentioned and Wynne chuckled.

"It is not the best way, no. Even I have my discretions against it but it's not my choice and not something I can easily change. All I can do is mentor those that come along and try to teach them that the Circle is not a prison. There are liberties so long as we follow the rules. Once they become mages and choose their study, they can even leave the Circle to further their research. There are those that can't look past the tower though. Those that are taken from their lives later rather than sooner or those that had bad experiences within. I can only protect so many." Wynne sighed, her gaze becoming forlorn. I remember the apprentice that she took on, only to come down on him too harsh and giving him no choice but to escape.

"Wynne, if there was a way to reverse tranquility, would you want to know about it?" I asked. Wynne looked at me before looking at her herbs. She was thinking hard. The wind blew lightly with a warm tint. Spring was almost upon us unless Ferelden wanted to surprise us with a few extra weeks of winter. Do they have groundhogs around here?

"It would be very dangerous to carry around that information. The ability to reverse tranquility would be something that would shake our entire community and not in a good way. If I was able to come across it safely, however, I might be able to convince a few to keep it secret until there came a time to release it to the world. You don't happen to know, do you?" Wynne stared at me.

"Nope, I was only asking if the chance came around, what would you do? It was a hypothetical question. Besides, I'm not a mage so do you really think I would know?" I said, trying to convince her that I knew nothing about it yet. I'd rather not cause the mage rebellion a decade before it was going to happen.

"No you are not a mage but you do happen to be in service of a great and powerful spirit. I wouldn't doubt that it shared some of its wisdom with you." Wynne deduced.

"You forget that Halo isn't a part of this world. He wouldn't go and try to find the cure so willy-nilly. There would have to be a reason why he would do it. Truthfully, I don't even know what happened to Halo. He seems to be sleeping since what happened at Soldier's Peak. He even made a safe space for me in the fade because he can't be around to protect me all the time, not anymore at least." I sighed, still feeling lonely that he wasn't there every single time I dreamed.

"I am sorry for that." Wynne said.

"It wasn't anyone's fault Wynne. I went and saved Eren at the cost of my life with Halo resurrecting me in the end. Just like how your spirit saved you, Halo saved me. I just have to wait a little while longer to get home, no biggie." I nonchalantly said. Though if I stopped and thought about it, which is bad for me, I would slowly get a panic attack. I put it out of my mind. We had more important things to do. So long as I had something to distract me I won't fall into the existential crisis, don't fall into it! No thinking! Thinking is bad!

"Of course. Help me grind these would you? It would be best to have a steady supply of potions. Whether we go to the dwarves or the elves, we will need them." Wynne said. I agreed and started to grind them in the small mortar and pestle. She showed me which to grind together, how long to grind, and how much of the ratio of which herbs to put into the water to get the desired effect. I had put all of it in some notes in the back. It would be good to have this knowledge with me. Of course the best potions, the highest grade, could only be made with concentrates, distillers, and the right equipment. Basic science stuff really but nothing we can carry around or else it would get broken easily.

In the end, with the equipment that Wynne managed to snag from Owen, we were able to make a few concentrated elfroot potions. These were in small bottles and Wynne told me it would be better to take them with serious injuries. No point in wasting them with small bruises. She gave me two concentrated ones and six regular ones. She kept on working on more to give to the rest while I went off to explore the castle.

All the bodies were gone and most of the blood splatter was washed out. There were some areas that were hard to scrub, especially the ceiling. Maids bowed before me a few times when they recognized me. It was weird but it felt good. At least I was getting recognition. Makes me wonder how I'll be seen once this whole thing blows over. They called Leliana a veteran, maybe I'll be called that too. I ended up at the ramparts where I found Talen. He was staring out from the top, overlooking Redcliffe village, Lake Calenhad and, since it was a clear day, a silhouette of Kinloch Hold.

"Hey Talen. I didn't peg you one for heights." I said, standing next to him.

"I lived in a really tall tower with five floors, I'm used to it." Talen shrugged his shoulders. He was leaning against the stone wall, not really focusing on anything. I leaned against it next to him.

"I heard Eamon said that he was going to have Eren judge Jowan when he comes back." I relayed the information to Talen. I saw his brow furrowed.

"He was left with no options, not once but twice. If he gets sent to the Circle, they'll make him into a tranquil indefinitely or sent to Aeonar. If he stays here, Eamon is going to have him executed. I know that it's not entirely his fault but he was stupid. He was stupid to learn blood magic and run from the Circle. He was stupid to get captured by Loghain and agree with him to poison Eamon. He was stupid to go ahead and do it too. All in all, Jowan is a moron. A big, stupid, idiot who doesn't know when to stop being stupid!" Talen shouted and punched the wall.

"Even after saying all of that, you still care about him, don't you?" I said softly. Talen looked back at me with extreme worry. It's during these times when I could see his age. Where he was stripped of his Grey Warden face and, instead, there staring at me was just an 18 year old boy who feels like the world was against him.

"Nia…he's going to die either way. He was…still is my brother. I don't know…I don't know what I can do." Talen balled his hands into fists. "I want him to pay for what he did to me at the Circle and here but…I feel like he shouldn't have to die for it! He's a good guy, he cares about others, and I knew that deep down, he didn't mean any of this to happen! He was backed into a wall and, like a mabari, he snapped. What can I do Nia? I keep trying to figure out an end to all of this but…I can't think of anything." Talen let out a shuddering breath. He was trying so hard not to cry his eyes out.

I looked out at our surroundings. The sun was starting to dip low. The Hinterlands were beautiful as spring was starting to peek out from underneath the snowy landscape. Soon the spring showers will come and wash away the wintertime, with flowers being born with the sun.

"Talen, there's not much you can really do. In a part, I agree that Jowan was in between a rock and a hard place but he is still a grown man. There were consequences to what he was doing and he knew what he was doing too. It wasn't like he wasn't informed of the dangers of blood magic or what he was really going into with Loghain. Granted, he wasn't expecting Connor to go all possessed on him but he knew he was poisoning the Arl and still killed Isolde, even if it was needed to save Connor. Either way, this was a hodgepodge of bad decisions all around and someone needs to answer for them. Jowan can't get away scot-free." I explained.

"So you're saying that I need to let him die?" Talen glared at me.

"What I'm saying is that he needs to be taught a lesson. Someone that messes up like this would be executed or be left to rot in the dungeon but there is something you can do right? You're a Grey Warden. You were going to be sent to Aeonar as well right? What exactly did Duncan do to save you?" I looked at him and his eyes grew wide. He rubbed his chin, his eyes twinkling as he thought about what I inferred.

"Are you saying that I should conscript him? That's…crazy! He'd be forced to fight against darkspawn his whole life and die before he gets to grow old!" Talen scoffed.

"But if you think about it, it's still a prison sentence and one he can't run away from. It's the third choice besides magical castration or death. Grey Wardens can conscript anyone from the lowest of thieves to kings in dire times. These are dire times Talen and, if you truly do not want Jowan to die, then I've added another choice to the table." I explained. "I'm not the one who is going to make the decision because I'm not a Grey Warden and I'm not the leader either. Still, think about it, he's your friend." I patted Talen on the shoulder and left him with his thoughts.

Can Jowan's destiny be changed? I have no idea. Do I like the idea of traveling with Jowan on our journey? Not really. I think Jowan is weak willed, too easily persuaded, and, just like Talen said, a little on the stupid side. Not entirely his fault considering how the Circle raises their mages but there's not much I can do about that. I think Jowan is a good man though, deep down inside he can do good things. Yes he's not that talented in regular magic but everyone has their niche somewhere. Really his entire character is a coin toss. On the one hand, he seems to actually have talent in blood magic. On the other hand, having an untrained blood mage on the team is just asking for trouble.

Seeing Talen's face though, I couldn't help but at least put that choice out there. The worry and the hurt that Talen is feeling isn't something I want to wish on him. Talen is starting to feel like a little brother and, that protectiveness that comes with the territory, has come full tilt. I want Talen to be happy and, if that means that I had to look out for Jowan if he comes along, then I'll do it.

After meandering around the Castle a bit more, I decided I wanted to sit down and eat. I was directed to the kitchen where they were already making dinner. I had gotten pieces of roasted rabbit with chopped potatoes, some cheese and bread, and mild apple cider. I sat down in one of the smaller dining rooms along with my journal. This allowed me the time to pen down my thoughts in ink instead of charcoal. It can get messy with charcoal if I wasn't careful.

I ate slowly, relishing the food as I ate. No dried out bread that was almost crumbs or tough jerky that made my mouth hurt from chewing so much. Nope! It was deliciously seasoned rabbit with potatoes cooked to sheer perfection. The bread was freshly made, soft, warm and the cheese was melted in the middle. It was sharp but I didn't mind the taste too much. All I had to do was wash it down with the cider and the cheese taste was gone. I was so focused on my meal and my writing, I didn't even notice as Alistair and Eamon came in with their own dinners. Well, maids bringing in their own meals.

"Ah it seems one of your companies decided to start early." Eamon chuckled. I looked up and realized that it was the Arl. With mouth still chewing my cheesy sandwich, I got up and saluted before swallowing my food.

"Arl Eamon! It is an honor to meet you." I then bowed and Eamon laughed.

"Calm down. I'm sure we can save the formalities for later." Eamon sat down with the maids setting down his food. Alistair had a larger portion, Grey Warden appetite and all. I nodded at Eamon's request and sat down again. "I don't think we've met yet."

"Um no Arl Eamon. My name is Nia." I introduced myself.

"She's Eren's bodyguard. I think I mentioned her." Alistair rubbed his chin before going into the large portion of cheese that he got.

"Ah now I remember. I give you my thanks for helping my village as well as my son. Pity that you weren't able to convince the Grey Wardens to leave for the Circle." Eamon's face fell slightly.

"I'm so sorry." I said.

"You gave a choice and it wasn't taken. It's not your fault." Eamon nodded. "There are times when those that lead need to make hard decisions, ones that may even haunt them. I had to make those as well during the war. Times in which I am not proud of but was needed. I do not blame Eren for what he had to decide on. It was not favorable but something had to be done to avoid losses."

"Eamon…" Alistair said softly.

"Alistair, what passed has passed. It is time to look forward at what we must do to save our country. We have survived countless wars and a civil war will not divide us now. Once our allies have been gathered, I will call a Landsmeet and put a stop to this madness so that we may band together to stop the Blight. Until then, we can only wait." Eamon said before he began to eat. Too bad I couldn't make him into a king but it will look like an usurpation.

After the serious talk was done, I ate the last of my food before excusing myself. I think that Alistair needed more personal time with Eamon. I was about to go back to my room when I saw Zevran looking very closely at a door.

"What are you doing Zevran?" I asked. He jumped before sighing at me.

"Ah it's only you mi niña. You surprised me." Zevran said. I looked at the heavily armed door and gave him a deadpan stare.

"Don't tell me you were thinking of robbing Eamon." I frowned. Zevran gave me a sheepish chuckle.

"Well it hasn't been the first time it crossed my devious mind." Zevran said and I rolled my eyes. "I was merely…well from all the times we have scavenged and looted, I found a pair of boots that caught my eye back in Antiva. I was thinking whether or not I would have the coin to buy them when I went back."

"You're thinking of going back?" I asked.

"Well if the assassination was successful, I would have already had those boots in my hands already but, alas, I was taken in by my beautiful and kind savior." Zevran winked at me.

"Why did you take the hit Zevran? With all those legends of Grey Wardens floating around, it seems weird that the Crows would even have a contract for them." I wondered.

"The Crows have taken such contracts against other organization of authority. My first mission was one against a mage of the Circle. The Crows do not care who they anger." Zevran shrugged. "But you are correct. The bounty was high and yet no one was willing to take on the contract. I was the only one who decided on it. The Grey Wardens have been famed for being powerful warriors and mages. Those in the Crows said that it was a death wish to even consider the contract." Zevran shook his head and chuckled.

"So why did you go for it?" I asked. Zevran's face dropped all emotion. It was weird seeing how his face became blank and it semi-startled me. Soon, he put on one of his many smiles.

"I thought it would be good for a change in pace. I've also never been to Ferelden though, I must admit, I yearn for my warm Antiva." Zevran sighed dramatically. I knew that he was avoiding the issue but, at this point, I knew it was better to let it drop than continue the inquiry.

"It's going to get warmer soon. Spring is just around the corner." I said.

"Of course mi niña." Zevran had a sad smile on his face but his wound inside his heart was still bleeding. He'll tell me, one day, so I'll wait.

* * *

 **Beta'd by Syutaku!**

 **So this was my fault. I sent off chapters 76 and 77, forgot 76 as well as my beta, and only realized I was missing it until now. Very sorry for the late update. Also my creativity has gone down with the lack of sleep. Sorry but sleeping is a little more better for my sanity lol**

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	77. Conscripted

9:30 Drakonis 7th

It's been three days since I've wrote but nothing exciting has happened so far. Really the only thing I've really been doing was helping the town with their rebuilding. Alistair is the one that has put in the most contributions besides Derek lending them a few things he pick up on masonry. Slowly but surely, the town was starting to resemble the village of Redcliffe of the future. Morrigan has been absent all three days and I had a feeling that she tagged along with Eren. I don't blame her since she's all about against helping others unless it benefitted her.

Talen was quiet and avoiding me. The thing that I suggested for Jowan was still plaguing his mind. I'm sure that's he's been tossing and turning over his decision in his head. After all, what was the difference between letting someone execute your friend than sending your friend to a certain death in the future in the worst sense? At least execution was instant but being a Grey Warden, eventually being sent off into the Deep Roads and dying surrounded by the creatures before you turn into one of them isn't exactly what you would wish on a person you viewed as a brother.

Sten and I were still doing our meditation and practices with each other. Ever since I stood up to him in Haven, he's been bringing me in for debates. So far it was mostly about war and tactics. My true good weakness. I've never been good at strategizing. Really just going in with guns blazing was my thing, the spray and pray method, most of the time. I was good with teamwork which is why I work closely with Zevran on the battle field but doing it myself? Commanding others on how to win a battle? I suck. I sucked at games with tactics unless I had an overpowered soldier! Either way, it seems that Sten was trying to at least make me more in tune with strategizing with the others.

Which is why we were borrowing Eamon's chess set and have used it for the past, oh I don't know, 3 hours? Sten: 5. Me: 1. At least I got him once.

"Ugh this is insane." My head pounded as we went onto our next chess game.

"You must learn this." Sten said, setting up the board again. It was a strange way to play chess. As it was, the pieces were called differently, the board was hexagonal instead of square, but the same rules apply.

"I don't see why…" I mumbled.

"You are lacking in key qualities that would make you a leader." Sten said, moving his pawn.

"I'm not trying to be something I'm not Sten. Besides, weren't you the one that told me that I should accept what I am and not be dissatisfied with my place?" I moved my piece.

"Of that I agree with though you have qualities that would make you suitable. You can become a leader. I do not doubt your lead, I doubt the other Grey Wardens." Sten said.

"I haven't lead anything." I said.

"You lead me." Sten placed his rook in a check. I bit my lip before having to agree with him silently. "You made me face my faults of trying to usurp control. You showed me what is needed and not what I wanted. There is more to you and yet you let your fear overtake you. You must not let it control you. Why fear the inevitable when there is only the tide?" Sten explained.

"You're right. I'm a coward. I'm letting my fear get to me but that's how I am. I…I just don't have the confidence to get up there and do what's needed to be done. Just like how Eren just shot me down during the whole Redcliffe thing, I just couldn't…move." I moved my piece and took a knight. He moved his queen. "I'm afraid Sten." He gave me that stare that seemed to go past me. "There are things…I can't control and things I can control. The things I can control…it might affect more people than I can imagine."

The future is terrifying. The knowledge I have gets to me. It fuels my fear. I want to do the good things, the right things. I wanted to save Isolde. I want to destroy the Anvil. I want the elves and the werewolves to make up to stop the curse. I would like Alistair to marry Anora and Loghain to survive. I want the perfect ending and I know what I can do to make it happen. Does life happen that way though? No it doesn't and that was made perfectly clear at Redcliffe.

I'd rather not think about what my choices do or how it affects the future. It's too much to wrap my head around.

"You have accepted your fear. It is time for you to meet it head on." Sten said, putting my king into another check.

"Eventually." I sighed, moving my king away only for Sten to put me into a checkmate. "How about for now I let my mind rest before it explodes from how many times you beat me?"

"That is fair." Sten nodded. I left, trying to wrap my mind around what Sten was telling me. I mean, Sten is one for being blunt but he is sure of the fact that no one should step beyond their boundaries until they are able to. The fact that he sees me as a better leader than Eren, and even admit it, was an incredible reach for him. I mean, we had a semi argument about me being a warrior and a female at the same time! Now he thinks I can do Eren's job better than he can? Jesus, who is he and where did my Sten go?

Still, from what I've read, this trip does change Sten and even he had to go through the Ben-Hassrath for re-education after coming back from Ferelden so it's not entirely out of the left field. Still, it's somewhat jarring. What the hell did he see back in the Temple of Sacred Ashes? I guess everyone was due for some change.

Zevran was off wooing some of the woman in the village though he did get slapped a couple of time. Some of the women did just lose their husbands or someone of their family. A few accepted if only to not sleep alone at night. Leliana was here and there but I often found her in the Chantry, singing to the children that were left there while their parents went off to fix something in the village. It was cute seeing all of them laugh and smile instead of having lifeless eyes. Wynne was still in the castle, helping Eamon and Fergus with their health. Eamon had to adjust since he was in a coma for a better part of last month. Fergus was just being difficult.

Shale was killing any pigeon she found. There were times where I tailed her so I can laugh quietly as she seethed. It made for a good time waster. In the end, I always retreated back to my thoughts about home, Halo, my kids, the future. Thinking is bad for me. I have to keep busy before I start to get too homesick. I couldn't trust my own emotions dealing with the kids in the Chantry so I would usually ask Alistair or someone in the village if they needed help.

I wish this would end. I don't think I can handle more peaceful, thinking days.

9:30 Drakonis 9th

Eren came back with Oren early in the morning. I can't help but almost cry when Fergus and Oren were reunited. Eren's haunted look was gone and he was back to his old self when he was with his family. It was so refreshing to see. Morrigan, as I suspected, was with him the entire time.

"Had some personal bonding time?" I asked when Morrigan passed me by toward the smaller dining room. She raised her eyebrow before scoffing at me.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Morrigan dismissed me.

"I'm pretty sure you do. I'm surprised you went out with him. You're not falling for him are you?" I asked and she swiftly turned around, glaring at me.

"If you think this notion of love will ever come in between Eren and I then you are sorely mistaken. This is nothing but a curiosity. A test of Grey Warden's endurance." Morrigan smirked at me. It was probably just Morrigan wanting to scratch her itch but I know it will develop into something more.

"Sure, sure, Morrigan. Whatever you say." I laughed. She glared at me and I should be careful of her in battle now. She would pull something off to shake off her petty grudge. Derek walked over to us with an odd stern expression.

"Witch, missy, it's time for us to set off and…for the mage to get judged." Derek cleared his throat.

"And so they will judge him on his choice of blood magic." Morrigan scoffed before walking away. I remember her reluctance of killing Jowan when first meeting him in the dungeon. Morrigan believes in letting others live as they please and blood magic wasn't looked down in her eyes. Still, this wasn't my choice. Of course, I was betting on Talen on doing something.

I went back to my room to get my pack ready. I was ready to get moving. The peaceful life wasn't suited to me anymore. My mind wanders and it wanders to very dark places. I'd rather go off and fight something rather than stay. Weird how life changes like that. I nodded at the pack, satisfied that I gathered all my things and went downstairs to the throne room.

Derek, Eren, Talen, Alfred, and Alistair were all there. Leliana and Wynne was off to one side. Sten, Zevran, Morrigan, and Shale were absent. I went to stand by the girls while watching the Grey Wardens stand straighter when Eamon came in. Teagan was at his side as he sat down, the fireplace burning wildly behind him, making the shadows darker.

"It's good that you have gathered here for there is much to be done." Eamon rubbed his face, his wrinkles seeming to settle heavier on his face. "Alistair and my brother Teagan have informed me of the plight of the land as well as your mission regarding recruiting those for your army against the Archdemon. I should first be thankful to you Grey Wardens, although it was at a cost that…I'm still absorbing. For saving my son and saving my life, I would like to offer you a reward."

"A reward? Finally some recognition." Derek mumbled before Alistair bumped into him.

"We would be honored to accept, Arl Eamon." Eren nodded before semi-glaring at Derek.

"I would like to declare all Grey Wardens, and the companions that are traveling with you, Champions of Redcliffe. You all will be always a guest in these halls." Eamon announced.

"Thank you Arl Eamon." Alistair said.

"Still there's a lot to talk about." Talen scowled.

"We must speak about Loghain, brother." Teagan started. "We do not know how Loghain will react once he hears of your recovery."

"I still can't believe that Loghain allows civil war when the darkspawn are crawling at our door." Eamon shook his head. "I have known him for many years and he has never been one to desire power."

"There are times when you feel like you know someone, only for them to stab you in the back." Eren shook his head.

"I was there brother when he announced that he was taking control of the kingdom. He is mad with ambition." Teagan frowned.

"I knew there was something off about him when Duncan and I reviewed strategy at the war table." Derek grumbled.

"I do not know what happened to him to cause him to desire power, but he must be stopped. We cannot afford to fight this civil war to the bitter end." Eamon stood up and started to pace, stroking his beard.

"But you can rally the nobles can't you? To fight under your flag against Loghain?" Alistair wondered.

"Yes I can rally the nobles to follow me but not all of them. Loghain has made very powerful allies but we cannot nor have the time to campaign against him. Someone on either side must surrender if we have any chance of defeating the darkspawn." Eamon planned realistically.

"That's not going to be easy considering that he even sent us an assassin." Talen rolled his eyes.

"When can we have someone that will politely surrender to us? 'Hello, I realize that I've been a fool! Let me surrender all my forces and powers for you.'" Alistair acted it out.

"It is never that easy." Eren shook his head.

"Alistair." Eamon put his foot down and everyone stood at attention again. "Although I agree that he must stand down, our army will have to be reserved to fight the darkspawn not each other. I will spread the word of Loghain's treason, here and against the king, but it is a claim made without proof. Those claims will sow doubt in Loghain's allies but we need something else." Eamon put his fist on his hand as he realized something. "We need a challenge to the throne that Loghain cannot ignore, someone with a stronger claim to the throne than Loghain's daughter, the queen." Soon all eyes were on Alistair. It took him a second for it to hit him.

"Oh no…" Alistair put his face in his hands.

"Truly you are not referring to Alistair, are you brother?" Teagan asked.

"Never in my wildest dream would I even propose this alternative but the impossible has occurred." Eamon sighed heavily. It wasn't something he put forward so lightly.

"Alistair, as king?" Leliana breathed out.

"Not a bad promotion if you ask me." I shrugged.

"Should we start referring to him as 'Sire?'" Wynne suggested.

"Oh stop it! I'd make a terrible king! Don't even think about this!" Alistair whined loudly.

"Alistair you know that if I or Teagan would make claim, just through marriage, we would be deemed opportunists no better than Loghain. You have a claim through blood." Eamon explained.

"Have you ever asked about what I want?" Alistair huffed.

"You're not exactly in the position of disagreeing. This decision will decide the future of the country." Eren scowled. "If it comes down to it this will be your duty."

"No pressure." Talen smirked and Alistair glared at him.

"Even then Prince, after all that's said and done, do you really want to fight under Loghain's flag? One side has to give and, at this point, your birth is the only thing that's giving Eamon some weight." Derek said.

"I'd rather not have my birth be put down as a strategy item." Alistair mumbled. "You're right though, if…I have to be king so Loghain can be stopped…then I guess I'll have to." Alistair conceded.

"Then there is only one way to proceed. I will call a Landsmeet and gather all of Ferelden's nobility in the city of Denerim. There, the country of Ferelden, can decide one and for all who shall rule. Once they have decided we can finally focus on fighting our true foe, the darkspawn. What say you friend? I do not want to continue without your blessing." Eamon looked at Eren.

"From what we've discussed, it seems that these are our best options. We should proceed." Eren nodded.

"Very well. I will send out the word as soon as I can." Eamon sat down on his seat. "Before we proceed there is another matter I would like your help with friend. The mage, my son's tutor, still lives."

"He does brother. He has been stationed in the dungeon since the end of the battle." Teagan nodded. I saw Talen's body get rigid. The others were looking at him with worry.

"Bring him here Teagan. I wish to see him." Eamon ordered. Teagan went ahead to go to the dungeons. I felt the rising tension in the room. Talen's face was turned away so I couldn't see his expression. The silence was unbearable and I almost wanted to pace but kept myself still. The clanking of chains came through the door as Teagan had Jowan by the arm. Jowan came through, looking worse from the last time I met him. His eyes had dark rings underneath them and his face looked gaunt. His robes were dirty and loosely hanging off him. Poor guy. Teagan led him toward the center of the room, all eyes on him.

"Jowan. The things that you have done under my home and trust is not in question. You tried to have me killed. In the ensuing chaos, you set to motion events that nearly destroyed an entire village, killed my wife, and almost destroyed everything I know and cherish. What have you to say in your own defense?" Eamon asked.

"I have nothing to say my lord. All I have to offer is my sincerest apologies. I don't expect any mercy for what I have done." Jowan's head hung low. Talen was gripping his robes.

"I see, Grey Wardens, as you know I am horribly biased in this decision. What say you all?" Eamon asked.

"He, although was a perpetrator, did help us in defeating the demon." Eren cleared his throat.

"By killing Isolde." Alistair glared at Jowan. Eren slightly grimaced.

"I have no qualms about magic. Lyrium is the biggest cash nug for our people. Besides, he didn't make the demon come. The only thing I've got a grudge again is that he poisoned you and allied with Loghain. It's not exactly the best thing he could have done." Derek crossed his arms and Jowan's head went ever lower. I saw Talen's brow furrowed and his jaw was clenching hard.

"Yes, the Loghain part is what also hurts though not as much as when he tried killing you." Alistair kept his eyes on Jowan.

"We are all biased against Loghain but we must also consider that he tried his best to redeem himself." Eren played devil's advocate. All the time I was looking at Talen who I thought was about to explode.

"Arl Eamon, I was there when Jowan escaped the Circle." Talen finally piped up. Eamon looked to Talen. His mouth opened and I saw Talen's firelit eyes. "They were going to tranquil him, only because he was slower than the mages. From all the years I've known Jowan, he never wanted to hurt anyone. He fell in love, he wanted freedom because they would take his love away or move him away. He was forced into a position where he was going to die or have another day to live. When someone is pushed to the cliff, anyone would try to at least hold on to the ledge for a little more."

"Talen, what are you talking about? He's a blood mage, he poisoned Arl Eamon, and he inadvertently caused everything that happened!" Alistair was staunchly against anything besides prison or death for Jowan. I didn't blame him.

"When you corner a mabari, it bites back! Yeah, he made shitty choices all because of his shitty magic but he had nowhere else to go! I tried to give him a choice back in the tower too but they stopped me!" Talen's voice broke. "He should be given a chance!"

Eamon entertwined his fingers as he watched Talen vouch for Jowan. Talen was shaking as he stood against his brothers in arm and, for the first time since he came in, Jowan had raised his head. His eyes were glistening with tears. After he betrayed Talen and everything, Talen still wanted to protect him.

"Talen, he is a blood mage! Two wrongs don't make a right!" Alistair shouted.

"I'm a blood mage too." Talen added quietly, looking straight at him.

"That…" Alistair took a step back and looked away. "That's different." He stated.

"You're only saying that because it suits your needs and the needs of the group! Don't be a hypocrite!" Talen shouted.

"Enough!" Eren yelled at both of them. "I think we've said enough." He let that hang. Alistair and Talen didn't look at each other. Derek rubbed his chin and gave out a sigh.

"You know what? I'll take the priss' side on this. I've done my fair share of shady shit and someone gave me a chance. I'll vouch for the man." Derek announced. Talen's face lit up and Alistair scoffed.

"Eren, have you made a decision?" Eamon asked quietly.

"It is hard to be impartial here." Eren exhaled. Talen, for once in days, looked at me. His honey colored eyes was waiting for a sign. I wasn't sure what I should do or if it was the right choice. I moved my head in the essence that said, 'Go ahead.'

"His choices are execution here or to be sent back to the Circle for sentencing." Eamon mentioned.

"That's not his only options." Talen started. Everyone stared at him. "I have another option, let him become a Grey Warden my lord."

"You cannot be serious right now." Alistair breathed out.

"It's like a prison sentence and you know that Alistair. Being a Grey Warden isn't exactly sunshine and rainbows. Let him live out his redemption by killing darkspawn." Talen said. "He gets his comeuppance and he gets a chance."

"I'm afraid I cannot abide by that." Eamon said. "He must be given punishment for his crimes." The group grew silent. Talen gave me a side glance and I smiled. That seemed to give him the final push.

"Then I invoke the Right of Conscription. He's under my care now." Talen made his back straighter while staring at Eamon. If jaws could drop to the floor, they would have by now. Eamon's beard bristled, I swear. Teagan looked like he sucked a lemon and I was trying my hardest not to laugh at their faces. Derek broke the tension by laughing his head off. Eren gaped and Alistair was fuming. Eamon let out a long exhale.

"I see." Eamon disdainfully said. He wasn't happy with this at all. "Grey Wardens reserve the right and I will abide by it. However, Jowan is not a Champion of Redcliffe. He is not to set foot in the castle and is not welcome in my village. Should he come, he is to stay out in the Hinterlands, am I clear?" Eamon laid out his rules.

"Yes my lord." Talen nodded. "I'll take him out right now." Eamon nodded to Teagan and he went with the key to unlock Jowan's cuffs. He did so with a scowl. Talen grabbed Jowan's wrist and walked out. I didn't stay after that. As Eamon was starting to explain the plan, I walked out. I followed Talen and Jowan as they made their way out before I sprinted and launched myself at Talen.

"I can't believe you fucking did it!" I laughed as he teetered on his feet before we both fell to the ground.

"Ow! Get off me! You weight a ton with that armor on!" Talen pushed me off and I laughed. I helped him up and I gave him a big smile. His face grew red and he looked away bashfully.

"Good job Talen. I'm surprised you took my advice." I smirked.

"I, what is going on?" Jowan wondered.

"Conscripting you was my idea originally." I pointed to myself. "I offered it as a third choice in case Talen didn't want to see you dead, which you would be right now either by Eamon or the Circle. Not to say being a Grey Warden is the best job really but it gives you a chance and that is what we were looking for." I poked Jowan. He seemed to laugh weakly.

"It wasn't really planned and we can't indict you in yet. There's a ceremony and a sludge you have to drink and we can't do that right now. For now, we'll just have you around but if you run, I'm sure Alistair is going to take your head." Talen explained.

"I'm not running, not anymore. I'm tired of it." Jowan's eyes seemed to glow stronger now that he was, technically sorta, free.

"Good. Talen, take Jowan to at least see the blacksmith and see if he has leftover leathers or armor. As much as I would like to leave you in your mage robes, they are filthy and should be promptly burned in a fire." I chuckled. Jowan shied away but nodded.

"We'll meet you at the stables." Talen said as he led Jowan away. Jowan looked back and bowed slightly at me before catching up to Talen. I'm still not sure if I made the right decision but Jowan was made this way by his surroundings and, as well, as the choices that were presented to him. I looked down from the trail to the village down below. The trail rounded to a giant cliff where Castle Redcliffe stood. There's a reason why it was one of the most well defended points in Ferelden.

I wasn't able to save Isolde. I feel guilty from not being able to convince Eren to go to the Circle but that decision lied with him, not me. The guilt wasn't as grand as Castle Highever, but I still hold myself accountable. Now, with my intervention, I saved another man and that lessened the burdened, slightly.

"I must admit, that was a twist I wasn't expecting." Leliana walked with Wynne toward me.

"You had something to do with this, didn't you?" Wynne crossed her arms.

"What me? You really think I have the mind to pull off something like this?" I feigned ignorance.

"I know you had something to do with it with all the constant mumbling Talen did. He mentioned you several times and don't think I didn't catch him looking at you at the sentencing." Wynne wagged her finger at me. I put up my hands in defeat.

"Ok, I might have put the idea in his head but it really was all up to him." I said.

"What I want to know is why?" Leliana asked. Wynne also gave me a curious glance.

"Jowan, on the one hand he made a lot of mistakes, on the other hand, it was his environment that influenced those mistakes. Talen told me about Jowan and what he did. Jowan just wanted to be a free man, to spend his life with someone he loved, to not be shackled down by his talent." I started.

"Young lady, may I remind you how dangerous magic really is? It was a decision made by the Chantry and the Enchanters that he should be made tranquil." Wynne said.

"Does that mean you should kill young children that are slow at their studies too? That you should give up on the ones that don't show progress as fast as others?" I countered.

"Magic is not the same as knowledge. It is a dangerous double edged sword that can strike its wielder as it can strike the innocent." Wynne said.

"No, what tranquility is, is an easy solution to an overall hard problem. Sure, Jowan isn't good at magic but that doesn't mean you should completely cut him off from life. What you, as a teacher, should have done was work with him more, build his confidence, tell him that he could have succeeded given enough time but no. You all chose the easy way out and decided to sentence a man that was innocent, for the most part. The only reason Jowan chose blood magic was because you didn't give him another choice." I stood up to Wynne. There was a reason why I didn't like the Circle in general or tranquility. Ameridan was right. They were just abusing it. "So I offered a third choice to Talen, use the right to conscript him into the Grey Wardens. It is still a punishment, regardless, but at least this gives Jowan years of his life to look back on what he has done and repent. That's all I offered."

"It is still not right." Wynne frowned.

"Maybe not in your eyes but for Talen? Today he saved his friend, a brother that he couldn't save before and that relief on his face is all the thanks I need. We look at the world differently Wynne and I do look to you for guidance on some things but you should also look at things in another perspective too. After all, it's not too late for an old dog to learn new tricks." I mentioned before walking off. I'd rather not get into an argument with Wynne. I like her too much for that. I heard some steps behind me and Leliana quickly walked beside me.

"I am not sure who to agree with. I grew up with the Chantry and their rules, about how magic can easily turn on people, the possession and what we've seen in the Circle. Yet, what you say about the abuse, their confining rules, what Talen had told me…I'm swaying in between both sides." Leliana said quietly.

"Not a single large entity can remain as they are. Corruption will always slither between the cracks. I don't like tranquility. I don't like how some Circles abuse their wards. It's supposed to be a home not a prison. The thing is the Chantry is always spouting off how magic is evil, how mages can become evil and are dangerous as a whole. Tell me Leliana, do you think Wynne and Talen can turn on you at any moment?" I asked.

"Of course not. I trust them with my life." Leliana answered.

"See? Leliana, people are evil but magic is not. Magic is only a tool to be used. Depending on the person, it can be used for good or evil. We can't just label it off like that. It's the reason why some mages turn to blood magic in the first place, because they think there's no other way and you know why they think like that? Because the Chantry won't give them any other choices. It needs to change but I can't do that because I'm only one person. If I can save one life though, then it makes it worthwhile." I ended my rant.

"You have given me a lot to think about." Leliana said. I nodded. We walked to the stables where everyone has been gathered. Sten and Shale were standing close together in silence. I had to put down my glee when I saw them.

Talen and Jowan were most likely around the blacksmith to pick something out for him. Zevran went up to both Leliana and I and started to flirt. I rolled my eyes and Leliana gave him a small threat. Morrigan wasn't there though I knew she was close. I put my pack in the wagon and sat down. I opened my journal that was filled halfway already. Where are we going now? The Dalish elves or Orzammar? Wherever we go, it's another step in the right direction. With Shale and Jowan here though, I'm sure my journal is going to get full that much quicker.

* * *

 **Beta'd by Syutaku**

 **Did I mention that Talen was my favorite? Because he is. If I ever make an original idea myself, I'd definitely put Talen into it! Anyway, this chapter of Redcliffe is now closed. Next up, Orzammar! It's going to go down more seriously than the last and I will explore more of the dwarves culture :)**

 **Also I need some help guys. Shale's character has always been difficult for me to write which is why I didn't really include her in my last story. Things will be different because of the book Asunder, that's why she's here now. If there is anyone that is good at some minor DA roleplay, I would like to with someone being Shale so I can get the feel of her. Of course if no one comes up, I'll figure it out eventually lol**

 **Thank you Shibashi61 (I love that you favorited/followed everything), and ArisuTamaZuki for favoriting/following! Thank you Judy and faylent for reviewing!**

 **Chimera Spyke:** _Hm that is a good thought. I might put it in :)_

 **Please Review! :D**


	78. Traveling part 5

9:30 Drakonis 9th

We are heading towards Orzammar. Once the others got back from their meeting with Eamon, they told us the game plan.

"We're heading to Orzammar! The King has always respected the Grey Wardens and he'll likely give us the soldiers as soon as possible. So long as the deshyrs agree of course…" Derek mumbled the last part.

"The land of the dwarves? Will there be other golems there?" Shale wondered.

"We've lost the anvil that gave us the ability to make golems. Lost for centuries! So no, no golems." Derek shrugged.

"Hm, I had wondered if other golems were similar to me." Shale said. "I doubt the soft things would be able to handle more of this." Shale took to looking at her crystals on her knuckles, as if they were nails. I snorted before hiding it with coughing.

"Your personality does you no credit, my large stone friend." Zevran chuckled. Shale just stared at him with her shiny eyes before Zevran started to become uncomfortable.

"It need not worry about my personality, painted elf. My personality does not hinder my ability to squish tiny things." Shale huffed.

"I'm pretty sure it actually makes things better." I chuckled.

"The tiny one understands, for the most part." Shale said. I scored points!

"I believe that is everything." Wynne said, coming back from Redcliffe, Alistair in tow.

"The others should be coming along soon. I will miss this place." Alistair said.

"It's always going to be there Alistair." I said which got a weird look from Zevran.

"Very true." Alistair gave me a smile before Talen, Leliana, and Jowan came around. Jowan had leathers and I noticed that his gloves were of well make.

"Where did you get the gloves?" I asked.

"About that…" Talen gave me an exasperated look before a crate came around pulled by a donkey with Bodahn at the reigns.

"Ho there friends! I have heard you are heading to Orzammar and would like to take your offer of protection once again!" Bodahn smiled. Sandal popped up from the cart and shouted his usual 'Enchantment!'

"It would be our honor Bodahn!" Derek said. Talen gave me a tired face. I could tell that it was probably because Bodahn was trying to upsell him some of his ware. Jowan was squirming under Alistair's glare. I heard some barks and Alfred snaked around me before Eren and Morrigan came forward.

"Bodahn. I'm guessing you'll be joining us on our journey?" Eren wondered.

"Of course! I feel much safer with the Grey Wardens." Bodahn announced.

"Enchantment!" Sandal shouted.

"Well, there's no time to lose. Let's move." Eren said. Eren, Talen, Alistair and Wynne went into the wagon while the rest of us were on foot. We made our way out of the village and started our walk to the Frostback mountains.

Jowan and Talen stayed at the rear, with Talen starting to try to help Jowan's proficiency in magic. Sten and Shale were making small talk about fighting as well as demeaning humans. Leliana, Zevran, Alfred and I were in the middle, walking next to Bodahn's cart. We were at a relaxed pace. Derek had surmised that we'd get to the entrance of Orzammar in a week.

"I have heard many stories of the capital of the dwarves. It was their only city that survived the onslaught of darkspawn. All their roads, their cities, gone when the first blight hit. They were the first to fall. So many things were lost." Leliana sighed.

"Sounds like a place full of joy." Zevran sarcastically said.

"Maybe we'd be able stop the Blight by finding the Archdemon there." I said.

"Do you really believe that?" Zevran raised an eyebrow.

"No but it could happen, you never know. The Deep Roads are a maze so the chances of it happening are very slim." I shrugged. Zevran chuckled and shook his head.

"T'would be unwise to do so. An archdemon cannot be felled by a mere group such as ourselves. T'would require kingdoms and armies to best it." Morrigan pitched in as she came back from being a crow in the sky. Whenever she does that, I can see the disapproval in Sten's eyes as well as a tinge of fear.

"Yeah that's true. Let's hope that we can get this Blight over and done with before Ferelden falls." I said.

"Do you truly believe that this Blight will be done so soon?" Morrigan gave me a disbelieving look.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"You are a naive fool." Morrigan rolled her eyes.

"No I'm optimistic, there's a difference. Besides, I believe in all of us." I said.

"Such words coming from a beautiful woman! You have captured my heart!" Zevran faked swooned, and I instinctively grabbed him so that he wouldn't fall down. I let go immediately causing him to trip but eventually laugh.

9:30 Drakonis 12th

We've had a steady 3 days following the trail. At the rate we're going, we should get to the entrance in another three days. The snow has started to retreat and the trees are starting to bud. Unfortunately this creates mud. You think a thick rubber wheel can get stuck in it? Try a thick wooden one. Shale is starting to get tired of helping the wagon out of holes.

"Jowan, you must remember to keep your barrier whole otherwise it will break." Wynne sighed. For the few fun times we've had, I liked to watch Jowan getting trained by Talen and Wynne. I knew that in the game he was supposed to be a bad mage but damn, I never knew he was this bad.

He wasn't even that good with destruction spells and those are the easiest to learn for mages. I had eaten my part of a boar stew and sat down with my bread to watch Jowan. Talen told me to stay away in case a rogue spell came my way. I replied that if that were to happen, it would help my dodging skills at least.

"I'm trying to but it's not cooperating!" Jowan said, only being able to shield himself and not that good.

"Remember this is more like a shield and not a bubble." Talen came next to him and forming a barrier around them both. "Feel for it and remember that you want to protect your team."

"Talen he will not learn by 'feeling' his magic. He must know that a barrier is merely a hardened form of mana coming from the latent energy surrounding him in which he can use to surround others." Wynne explained.

"I know what a barrier is…" Jowan sighed, sitting on a log and drinking some water. "I'm hopeless."

"You need to practice more. If an enemy comes around, you will not have the liberty of taking a back seat." Wynne chastised.

"Then maybe you guys are looking at this the wrong way." I came up. "You're doing a fine job explaining everything but what he really needs is experience." I took out my daggers. "You see there's a certain learning type back in my day those who learn through hearing, through sight, and then there are those who learn by doing. I'm thinking he needs to fight to really know how to use his magic."

"Nia, I can't tell you how many things could go wrong. I can make a list should you require it." Wynne looked down at me.

"I'll make sure to read over it, mom, later." I laughed while Wynne couldn't help but smile at my words.

"Are you sure you want to do this? I don't want to hurt you." Jowan said meekly.

"Worry about yourself." I smirked. I ran toward him, slicing away, making sure to not cut him in the important parts. Jowan yelled in terror as he ran around, trying to dodge. "Don't run away! Stay and make your barrier!"

"But what if I fail!?" Jowan did a roll dodge away.

"Stop thinking and start doing!" I switched to my knuckles and kept on giving him near misses. Jowan slipped and fell so I did a downwards punch before hitting something solid. My whole arm tingled and I shook it to regain my feeling. Jowan was panting, his hands before him with a barely noticeable barrier around him. I smiled before rushing and kicking down. I felt it 'shatter' before the heel of my foot almost collided with his crotch. I stopped it and leaned back. "Did you feel it?"

Jowan looked at his hands, trembling as they were, before he gave me a smile and nodded. I smirked and got to my stance again. Jowan got back up, a slight confident look in his eye. Talen and Wynne were on the sidelines now and they shouted various forms of advice to Jowan as I kept with my attacks. Every single time he put up a successful spell, it got stronger and covered a wider range. Sweat dripped down my chin and my heart raced at this practice duel. At his sixth spell, it was entirely successful, covering him front to back, side to side, as well as on top. Jowan laid on the ground, wheezing from our practice and I gave out my own wheezy laugh.

"Whoo! That was fun! Good job guy, you'll get better in no time." I said, tapping my foot lightly on his body. He gave me a weak thumbs up before trying to breathe again.

"I have to admit, that was smart." Talen nodded.

"It was unorthodox but helpful." Wynne agreed.

"What can I say? I'm full of good ideas now, let me try to find a huge amount of snow to roll in so I'm not sticky and sweaty."

9:30 Drakonis 14th

It was strange and, for a second, I thought that Halo would appear before me. I knew he wouldn't be around though. I had awoken underneath the apple tree, on top of a hill, in the world that Halo created for me. I got up in my regular attire from my own world. I noticed that I did have some parts of my armor thrown on. I believed that it was because I was starting to get used to my image back in the real world.

I looked to the sky, blue with wisps of clouds, a few bloated and look as if it would rain. Even if Halo tried to make this as close to my world as he could, I could still see the Black City right in the middle. I sighed as I walked toward the cabin before I saw a few wisps looking at it. They looked at me with curiosity, their voices coming out as small whispers. 'The light? World is different. Spirit but not and more.'

"Hello, you must have been Halo's friends." I answered. Instead of recoiling, they came to me. They wound around my body, searching, almost feeling. They could sense that a part of me was them.

'Here but gone. Faint. Where? Heart and fade. Soul combined. Different, became human?' They're disjointed thoughts came into my own.

"Halo is a part of me now but that doesn't mean he's gone. He's asleep in the fade somewhere, gaining energy. He'll come back one day." I explained.

'Great light, great power. Power bestowed to you. Call power. Want to feel. Want to know. Familiar.'

"What power are you guys talking about?" I wondered as they floated away from me, one hesitantly floated at eye level. It seemed to motion at my hand. I lifted it before the wisp touched the tip of my finger. I hissed in pain as what felt like a shock passed between us. I shook my hand before the wisp retreated. "Wait!" I shouted but they were all gone and I was alone again. I rubbed my finger as I entered the cabin, my safe space, and sat on the bed. The bookshelves were filled with books and I took one down.

Pages upon pages with writing and pictures of my memories. They weren't clear, some were fuzzy, others were downright odd. I guess that's memories for you. You can't really recall them as well as you can. Still I was comfortable sifting through the pages. Some were very clear, the ones of my children's birth, the day me and my husband got married, the happy times when we went out on our dates, my mom, dad, brother, little sister. The pain never goes away but it's duller than before.

I put one book away for another and it had a few recent ones. Talen's smile, Alistair laughing, Leliana smiling at me. Wynne, Sten, Eren, and everyone that have started to become important to me. At first I only wanted to protect them because I knew the future but now I was personally invested. I didn't want them to die because they were my friends. I wanted to change the future so that they can be happy. It gave me a rush of decisiveness. I was going to make sure they all got happy endings.

I went to the desk that was near the window. There were loose leaf paper and even a pen. I sat down and started to write. I wasn't sure when was the next time I was going to be back so I decided to write a note for Halo. I wasn't sure if he was floating somewhere in the fade or if he was close by but if he woke up, then I want to know.

I woke up with a good feeling. It was still too early for the rest. I got out from the tent where I was with Wynne and Leliana. The stars were still sparkling in the sky with the two moons shining down. The nights still stayed cold even when it was warm during the day. Frost clung to the ground and my breaths were visible. I walked away on the trail. We were getting higher following it and, even though I would have liked to see the horizon, fog was settling in.

I sat on the ground and was able to settle into my meditations when I started hearing twigs snapping and footsteps. I grabbed my daggers, having been used to sleeping in my armor even if it was uncomfortable and weapons at the ready as soon as I wake. As soon as I got into my stance, it got quiet. I wasn't sure where they were but I knew that they were watching me. A wind brushed by me and the telling smell of darkspawn flooded in.

"Shit, Darkspawn!" I shouted before the forests erupted with their growls. When they say that darkspawn can come beneath the ground, they weren't kidding. Two Hurlocks busted through and tried grabbing my feet.

I jumped out of the way at the last second before I felt a sharp sting on my ankle. I rolled out of the way as the Hurlocks came closer. I tried getting up before I realized that one of them had slashed my upper ankle part. The pain itself didn't let me get up, it hurt so much. It got the sweet spot right about my leather grips and through my boots.

"Nia!" I heard Talen shout before a fireball flew over my head. It didn't hit them but the burning ground kept them from getting closer to me.

"They got my ankle!" I began to hurriedly crawl over to him before Eren, Derek, Alfred, Shale, and Alistair pushed through. I heard a Genlock roar and Alistair groaning in pain. Everyone was up by now. Sten saw me, grabbed me by the scruff of my armor and threw me across the trail, my body rolling all the way to camp.

"Wynne! Heal her foot!" Talen said, as two more genlocks started to come up from the ground. Wynne crouched to my level as I coughed up the dirt that got into my mouth. She rubbed a poultice around my injury and I felt the pain go away. She did a minor healing spell before putting up a barrier to shield us from the spells that Talen was making. Morrigan had run past us, going into her bear form. Leliana came near us, shooting out her arrows. The only one that was scrambling around not knowing what to do, was Jowan.

He looked at us, not even having his leathers on besides his gloves. He looked to Wynne and me while Zevran ran past him.

"God damn it." I tried getting up but my foot buckled still.

"Stay still Nia. They nearly cut your foot off. I'll need to heal the muscles once this is all over. If you try fighting now then you will lose your foot." Wynne explained, sending out a lightning storm.

"What?! Are you serious!? It didn't seem that bad." I grabbed my ankle.

"What should I do?" Jowan asked, coming toward us.

"Well unless you're a perfect destruction mage, there's not much you can do." I said. The sun finally rose over the horizon as I saw Shale crushing the last genlock's head in her hands. There were bodies all over the place. We got hit by a good squadron of darkspawn. Jowan was fidgeting with his fingers as everyone came back.

"How is she?" Eren asked, wiping off the tar like blood from his face.

"Her foot was put together but I will need time to recover her muscles." Wynne sighed.

"I hate this. I should have been more careful." I blamed myself.

"You're not a Grey Warden, you couldn't have noticed the darkspawn. You're lucky if anything." Alistair tried cheering me up. I pouted and huffed.

"At least no one got hurt and you were able to alert everyone before we got ambushed. Alistair, help Nia to the wagon. Everyone, pick up the camp. We're up, let's get going to Orzammar." Eren ordered. Alistair came and I leaned against him, hopping my way to the wagon.

"Sorry about the blood, comes with the territory." Alistair chuckled.

"It's fine, make sure to wipe yourself good. Can't have our nice and shiny armor breaking apart so soon." I joked as I hauled myself up to a seat.

"Of course not! This is a sign of manly pride too!" Alistair knocked against his chestplate. I laughed and he went to pick up his things. I sighed, letting my blame sit on my shoulders.

"This is why the bodies of squishy things are so fragile. Having a stone body is much preferred when fighting darkspawn." Shale said.

"You can say that again but of course that information has been lost for centuries. Besides, I kinda like my meaty flesh." I poked my cheek.

"How disgusting." Shale gave me a disgusted snort. I laughed. "It laughs at its weakness, how confusing."

"It's not confusing. I just think there are some things that being human I don't want to get rid of." I put my chin in my hand.

"Well if its flesh wasn't so weak, it could come with advantages. I am baffled on what those could be." Shale said.

"Yeah? What advantages do I bring?" I wondered, loving this conversation.

"If I need a meaty shield, it would be the third choice. The first would be the mages." Shale laughed darkly. "It only brings an odd advantage to my crystals."

"How?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Has it not realized the power that it draws? Typical fleshy, a frail human would not even know the hard side of my fist unless it hit them." Shale huffed. What she said drew me in.

"What power are you talking about?" I asked.

"Perhaps it was all the experimentations my previous holder did but I can sense how magic works around my crystals. They have an affinity to this fade the mages use to power their spells. It feels different yet the same. The same power holds onto you but unlike mages that push that power out, it does so and more. It is as if the tiny one is a fountain, a circular fountain. Those that near that fountain, become powerful. The difference comes from the hunger that power feels." Shale explained.

"My power feels hungry? How would you even know what that means since you don't eat?" I wondered.

"Hunger does not always mean in the stipulations of ingesting with those disgusting functions, it can also mean desire. There is something that power seeks though I do not know what. It best be careful for, although my crystals become powerful around it, the power might react in different ways to those that can use magic. Perhaps the tiny one should also experiment. It would be a grand pity to have the group die before I can really stretch my fists." Shale chuckled.

That was an interesting conversation. Me? A fountain of power from the fade? That would mean that I'd be pouring out mana or something like it. I'm not a mage though, and I tested it again when Shale was describing it so no dice there. It was very reminiscent to the conversation that I had with the wisps in the fade.

Halo, the wisps, Shale, all of them pointed at me being different, being bestowed some sort of power. Was it Halo's power? The thing is I don't know his power. It varied. He saved my life, he protected me from demons, he wasn't just a protection spirit. He only called himself that because that was easier to explain than saying he was a full-fledged angel. Still I have to be careful. I don't know what this means about me or about the others. I don't know what this power can do or how I can use it. I'd rather not be a ticking time bomb.

9:30 Drakonis 16th

My ankle healed very well. We haven't had any more darkspawn run ins on the way to Orzammar. Bodahn was glad for that. After the darkspawn attack, he made sure to camp farther away than us. He already did but he did so even farther. I was kept in the wagon for the most part. Although the poultice and healing did its work, Wynne would still not let me walk for long distances until the muscle start to rejuvenate.

In there I got a bit more of a course of healing magic. Healing magic is a finicky thing and very rare. The fact that Talen and Wynne know how to heal is a godsend in mages. Wynne explain that out of 100 mages, only 10 have the talent for healing mages, and 5 that can actually use it to its fullest. Why? Healing requires a very compassionate heart, empathy, and sympathy. It's putting others before you and humans are naturally selfish and destructive. It's more than knowing your anatomy though that also is a requirement. You need to actually want to help people.

Now comes the more in depth healing. Those that learn healing but are not adept at it can, at most, heal superficial injuries. Cuts, scraps, some deep wounds if they can. Then they teach anatomy to those that can go further to heal near mortal wounds. Bones cannot be regenerated, those can be helped with poultices, potions and your own body. Muscles can only be healed with the most senior of healers. Wynne can do it and Talen is learning how.

No mage can bring someone back to life. Well Wynne can but it would cost her own. She doesn't know that yet.

Either way, by the time we got to the frostback mountains, I was already healed and ready to go.

"Finally! I get to stretch my feet!" I stretched as I was able to walk the trail again.

"Was it so torturous in the wagon?" Leliana giggled.

"Not really, it was mostly boring. I didn't have anything to do besides just sitting around. At least when I'm walking, I can daydream." I shrugged. "So how much longer again?"

"The dwarf said that we should be reaching the gate within the hour. Good, I fear my boots are coming apart at the seams." Zevran mentioned as he inspected his dagger while walking.

"Maybe you'll need new ones. I wonder if here are any leather workers in Orzammar?" I thought aloud.

"I don't think so. From what Duncan told me of the dwarven capital, most of their revenue comes from the lyrium trade, especially from Tevinter. They have the noble caste, blacksmithing, warriors, and a few other smaller trades they specifically stay in. No one really knows much about the outside world. Duncan said that they should open their borders a little more, they might get more help that way." Alistair remembered.

"Sounds riveting." Zevran chuckled.

"I just hope we can go in, ask the king nicely, and he'll give us his word." Alistair chuckled. Ah that was far from the truth.

There was a crackle of something. I stopped following the wagon. Talen and Jowan were at the rear, talking while Jowan still practiced. "Was that the crackle I heard?" I was able to ask before lightning hit near the wagon.

"Ambush!" Leliana cryed out. I heard Lily neigh in terror. Eren, Wynne, Morrigan, and Alfred were in the wagon. They all rushed out as people came out of the surrounding trees. Derek was still at the reins so he couldn't join. Instead, he rushed out to protect our stuff and to protect Lily. Two elves rushed at me but I was able to sidestep them. Out of my peripheral, Alfred went and chomped on one of the elves. The guy was trying to slice me with his dagger but I was able to counter most of his attacks.

I managed to get behind him and stabbed his lower back. This was where most of the sensitive organs were. As I pushed him away, a lightning attack hit me. I screamed through gritted teeth but stayed on my feet. I sprinted and skidded behind a tree. There was a mage hiding around. I saw everyone else cutting down the ambushers, well except Jowan. He was trying to at least use his magic without hitting us with friendly fire. My heart was beating out of its tempo so I punched my chest hard to get it back to rhythm. I also took a swig of a potion to help. I saw a few spells coming from one place and sneaked through the forest to get to the mage.

I found her high in a tree before she dropped down to move somewhere else as Leliana's arrow hit her arm. She hissed in pain as she tore the arrow out before getting a poultice to slather it on her wound. I took that as my cue to run to her and start my attack. She put up a weak barrier that I got through in three hits but she used that time to charge another lightning attack. I barely dodged it before I kicked her off of her feet. She raised her staff and covered herself in sparks. If I touched her, I'd get it but I had to take a chance.

I switched to my knuckles and tried smashing her face. She rolled away and used the staff to knock out one of my daggers. Once a knife is lost in battle, you should assume its lost for good. No point in looking for that weapon when you still have one. With only one blade to think about, my strikes came in quicker as I tried to slash at any flesh that I could see. The mage was on the defensive as I didn't allow her any time to charge a spell. She made another barrier and coated herself in sparks again.

I couldn't waste any more time here. I had to go see if the rest were ok. I typically try for the straight kill, the one I would know they would die certainly. This was the first time I went for the face. I reached for her with my no knife hand. It was something she didn't expect and I knocked her back into the tree.

Something happened. Something strange and dangerous.

It's hard to describe but I'll do my best. When my fingers touched her face there was a sort of pull. A drain perhaps. Something of hers flowed into me. The lightning surrounding her faded but didn't hurt me. Her thrashes became weaker but not because I was suffocating her. No I just grabbed her face, I didn't put it over her nose.

I heard a voice in the back of my head. 'More power, more, more.' It wasn't my own but I couldn't let go. Then my vision started to go, darkness crept into my eyes as something bright, a light brighter than the light at the end of the tunnel. Something that can add to my power if I grabbed it with my figurative hands.

And another thing told me that if I grabbed it, I wouldn't be the same again.

I gasped and let go. The darkness receded from my vision. I blinked a few times and gasped for air. What in the hell was that? I looked at my hand then at the unconscious mage. For a second, I thought about touching her again but I convinced myself not to. That was strange and worrying. I knew this had to do with the wisps and Shale's warning. I had to figure something out.

I came out of the forest with everyone already done with the ambush. Wynne coming up to me, looking at me up and down.

"I'm fine. I didn't get hurt just some spells were thrown my way." I reassured her.

"I was wondering where that mage was. Good thing you caught her." Alistair gave me a thumbs up.

"I found something." Talen said, unrolling a vellum that was in a pocket of the enemy. "Seems like these were assassins sent by Loghain, as usual. They must have gotten a tip that we were headed toward Orzammar." Talen scowled.

"Well their ambush was highly inadequate. No traps? No poison? Better to call them mercenaries than assassins." Zevran did a hair flip while holding a cocky smirk.

"Like you did any better." Alistair glared while Zevran shrugged.

"We can't waste any more time here." Eren said, cleaning his sword before putting it away. "We killed them, we got out mostly unscathed, let's go." We scavenged their gold, which was a lot since they were paid off. I got my share and put it away in my pouch. I saw Zevran trying to flirt with Leliana. If my touch can do that, should it work all the time? I decided to test it.

"Zevran this is really no time for your fancy words. I am covered in blood as you can see." Leliana lightly glared at him as we started walking.

"The blood shines on your beautiful skin." Zevran chuckled before I walked up to him. He turned to me to flirt most likely but I grabbed his face and got him up close. "Ah a bit forward aren't we mi niña?" I didn't answer. I tried focusing, my hands were on his face, but nothing. I cocked my face in confusion and I could tell that Zevran's face was starting to get hot under my touch.

"Nia, what are you doing?" Talen asked, raising his eyebrow.

"I was trying something but I guess it's not working?" I hummed letting go of Zevran's face and starting to walk, looking at my hands. This needs some more experimentation.

"Zevran, are you blushing?" Leliana giggled behind him.

"Maldito niña me dejo con las ganas."

* * *

 **Beta'd by Syutaku**

 **Words cannot express the amount of shame and guilt I have for not updating sooner. I got hit by a massive writer's block and, coupling with the new baby and mood swings, I couldn't write for the life of me. Thankfully with work finally bringing me out of my house, I feel much better. I already have the next chapter but my beta is slower than most. Though that's my fault considering I'm increasing the length of my chapters bit by bit.**

 **Thank you KortneyBreAnne, BadWolf432, GalapagosXD, ganfirl, Ariel Wild (Hi again!), Shadowmage97, Hellien01, Mymy628, and CPcat13 for favoriting/following!**

 **Thank you Judy and Chimera Spyke for reviewing! I really do hope for more reviews, those really help in keeping up my happiness in writing this fic. Although I've said that I'm mostly writing this for myself, it does make me sad that not many are reviewing :(**


	79. The City of Orzammar

9:30 Drakonis 16th

We got to the gate! We also found the men that were there trying to send a message from 'King Loghain.' In the end, we all waited at the gate watching them fight with the representatives.

"Talen has gotten good in charging spells on the fly." I mentioned.

"They all have grown into a dependable group." Wynne smiled.

"They are dragging this battle too long. Must I stand back? I can crush their skulls into paste in a second." Shale crossed her arms.

"Truly they have not heard of tactics." Sten agreed.

"Tis a good show nonetheless." Morrigan looked at a golden bracelet from the ambush. Alfred barked next to her which got a glare from her.

"Are we not going to help them?" Jowan wondered.

"It's only three guys Jowan, well, only one and there's the sword to the gut." I ended my observation. I can see why the coliseum was popular back in roman times. There was something about seeing these sport bouts that seems to trigger something primal inside. I felt guilt but that was starting to wane. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or bad thing. The guys came up and the dwarven guard talked to them about letting them in.

"Hey guys I'll be with you in a second. Sten, come with me." I mentioned. Sten raised his eyebrow but did so. The rest of the group went through the big doors. "You told me that you found that scraggly guy back in Lack Calenhad talking about a merchant selling him the place where you and your group were cut down by darkspawn right?"

"That is correct. You have found the man." Sten stated. I gave him a smirk. There were lines of merchants all around us. This circle was a lot larger than in game. Nearly all of them were, of course, dwarven merchants. Even Bodahn and Sandal were out here as they were casteless, technically.

Then I saw the one lone human merchant. I recognized him from the game. He was cataloging his stuff when Sten and I approached him.

"Welcome good Sers to-Maker's breath!" He stepped back after doing a double take. I coughed to hide my laughed.

"Is there something wrong?" I crossed my arms. I tried to look as cocky as possible.

"What? Oh, ahem, no there isn't. Just that your large friend gave me a fright." He cleared his throat. He tugged at his furs almost like he was pulling his collar in nervousness.

"Faryn right?" I snapped my fingers.

"Ah yes?" He wondered.

"My large friend here has a question for you." I tapped on Sten's arm.

"A-And that would be?" Faryn tried not to look up.

"Where is my sword?" Sten demanded. Faryn's face paled quickly before he started on a small string of prayers. Seeing him shake in his boots fed the petty beast inside of me. It was very entertaining.

"I-I-I don't have it! I swear by Andraste's knickers! I sold it to a dwarf in Redcliffe." He stuttered out.

"You sold my sword." Sten glared down at him.

"H-Here! You can even have the gold I got from him, please just don't hurt me!" Faryn took out his pouch with his shaky hands and nearly threw it at me.

"Well that would depend on whether your lying or not. So make sure you got your story straight or me, and specifically him, will be back. Ciao." I threw the pouch before catching it. I saw a smirk play on Sten's face before it was replaced with his usual stoicism. "Well we got more information. He got your sword and sold it to a dwarf in Redcliffe. Once we get the dwarves as allies, we can pass by there before we visit the elves."

"If it's there. If it changed hands again then we would be on another chase." Sten grumbled.

"Have hope Sten and, if you can't, then I will hope in your place." I assured him.

"You make it sound as if those words ring true." Sten huffed.

"If there's one thing I'm good at, it's hoping." I giggled. We went through the gates and was met with the Hall of Heroes. I let out gasps of awe. The carvings of the paragons were beautiful. They were taller than Sten, crafted in perfect geometric shapes with rock and metal shaped to perfection. The tall corridor stood tall with lava running along the sides as well as lights coming from cracks in the wall. I have no idea how they light up and the explanation will most likely go over my head as I did not study earth science.

The warmth was comfortable, not hot to make me scorch but it was definitely more pleasant than the outside world. I was jumping to paragon to paragon, looking at the intricate designs. I squeed, oohed, and ahhed. Sten grabbed me by the scruff to get me out.

"Sten those statues are works of art! Just the mere thought on how they were able to make them so beautiful makes me want to appreciate them!" I moaned trying to go against his strength and failing.

"For once I will agree with you. The hands that made these are masterful but it is not why we are here. We are wasting time." Sten argued.

"Fine!" I moaned like a petulant child but I got out of his grasp. We entered the dwarven commons and were met with a guy dragging away a dwarf that looked to be freshly killed with our group in various expressions of 'what the hell?' "Did we miss something?" I asked, approaching them.

"Just dwarven politics missy." Derek laughed. I looked at Zevran and he shrugged his shoulders.

"Casteless. I'm surprised you're still alive after all this time. Do you want to be thrown in prison now or later?" The Captain looked at Derek.

"As fun as that would be, I am an official Grey Warden." Derek tipped his chin up with pride.

"You have got to be sodding kidding me." The captain glared.

"Nope! We even have papers!" Alistair nearly took out the old treaties before the captain put up his hands in a stop motion.

"No, no. I don't need them. I heard from the guards outside, you are all wardens with companions. Not that I was hoping it was wrong. Well, tread carefully everyone. We already have enough to deal with. Be careful of the two political parties around and try to avoid talking about the children of King Aeducan." The captain warned. "You are allowed to attend the assembly that has formed but watch your back. The city isn't exactly safe right now."

"Thanks for the warning, Captain." Derek nodded. "This way, up to the Diamond Quarter. That's where all the nobles scrunch their noses and look down at all of us." Derek laughed darkly.

"I have to admit, I did not think the dwarven capital would look so…grand." Zevran commented.

"Grand is one world for it. I would say it's a marvel of the world." Leliana breathed in amazement as we walked to the stairs to lead us to the assembly. There were many dwarves out and about. Most stopped in their tracks as they gawked and stared at us. Shale's heavy footsteps tended to announce our presence. I'm not sure what they were more amazed of, the Grey Wardens or the fact there was a fricking golem strutting her stuff.

"Why do the dwarves build everything so high?" Alistair wondered.

"We're sensitive about our heights Prince." Derek laughed. "Ok here we are, the legendary stairs!" Derek showed us a carved out staircase. Unlike the game where it was a straightaway to the next level, the stairs were much wider with various stops to residential districts. Many dwarves were walking up and down the steps, giving our group a wide berth.

Shale was oddly silent throughout all of this. I watched her as her gaze lingered on certain aspects of the city. She was a dwarf at one point, maybe she had lingering memories tugging at her right now.

"What a disheveled mess of a city full of tiny, fleshy beings." Shale scoffed. I stand corrected.

"I never dreamed that I would even be here." Jowan breathed out, looking over the city as we kept going over the stairs.

"Don't even think of escaping. Big city or not, we'll find you." Alistair threatened. Jowan shut his mouth and looked down. 'I'm gonna have to have a talk with him after this.' We eventually reached the top. You could easily see the transition of the Diamond district from the other lower districts. The stone was intricately carved and the color was different. The Diamond quarter was also polished, dwarves were cleaning when we arrived. The holes that led to the outside world illuminated the streets, giving it a soft blue glow. Even then, a few torches glowed but it wasn't fire but something else.

"What are these things?" I wondered, looking at the streetlights. The small cages that would usually keep fire ablaze were filled with blue stones.

"They're called glowstones. Infuse a small rock with lyrium and they give off a pale glow. The diamond quarter is the only one that uses it since they're a little tricky to make than regular fire." Derek explained.

"I've seen these used throughout Orlais. They hold out longer than a regular fire." Leliana explained.

"It might be useful to us in traveling through the dark." Eren hummed before we are stopped by a young looking male dwarf.

"Welcome to the city of Orzammar, Grey Wardens." He bowed. "My name is Leto and I have been instructed by the city to guide your companions to the Grey Wardens quarters situated in the city. After which, I shall lead the Grey Wardens to the Assembly."

"Lead the way my friend." Derek nodded.

"So since the king has died, who's going to be the next one? It's going to be between the two groups we saw fighting right?" Talen wondered.

"We'll see first. I'm sure we're going have to delve in dwarven politics." Derek grumbled. Leto showed us to a grand manor with the Grey Warden griffon insignia out on the front. We went inside and it was sparkling. The glowstone illuminated the opening that led to a grand dining hall. Dwarves were still busy cleaning everything but the entire building shined.

"Your companions may choose their rooms. Grey Wardens, if you can follow me to the Assembly?" Leto waited by the door. Eren, Derek, Alistair, and Talen went along with them. In the end, it was the rest of us that stayed.

"I have to say, this is much better than the bed bug ridden inn I spent in Denerim." Zevran whistled.

"Tis better than anything." Morrigan huffed before she went on her way through the hallways. Shale lumbered around, the dwarves around scurrying to get out of her way. I get the feeling she got a weird sense of satisfaction from it.

"So all we have to do is choose which rooms are ours?" Wynne wondered.

"Seems like it." I shrugged.

"Well so long as any of you would like to-"

"Nope." I interrupted Zevran.

"I am fine." Leliana glared.

"I will strike you were you stand if you insinuate anything more." Wynne shook her head. Zevran looked at Jowan.

"Um, I think I'll wait for Talen." Jowan sheepishly sidestepped around him. In the end, Alfred sat next to Zevran and looked up at him, panting.

"I am literally left with the dog. Pinches." Zevran huffed. Leliana, Wynne, and I were laughing. Sten had broken off from us, feeling the stone, and staring at the chiseled works of art. We went down long hallways, oohing and aahing at everything. There were various rooms with kept up bedding, a training room, a weapons bunker, they even had spare clothing in a closet!

"This place has everything." I breathed out, choosing a modest sized room. Leliana and Wynne took the other bedrooms next to me.

"I must admit, this is very lavish compared to Redcliffe." Wynne breathed out. We went to our respective rooms and I put down my pack. There was a desk that I could use so I put my journals there. I put away my spare clothes as well and got to work to cleaning and tending to my armor. I also needed a bath or a shower. That's the thing about living here which I agree with Dorian, Fereldans need to learn to bathe. It took weeks to get used to the smells around here.

I hummed as I used my brush to take off all the gunk surrounding my armor. So many pieces here and there but it was all handy because we followed Grey Warden schematics. It was designed to be put on in a hurry. All I needed was a good helmet and I would be set. After brushing off the stayed on gunk, I took the small jar of polish and began to make my armor shine when I heard a small knock on the door.

"Excuse me, my lady, but the Grey Wardens request your presence." I heard Leto say. I got up and opened it as he bowed low.

"You know I'm just kinda the bodyguard at this point, I don't need you to be so formal all the time." I explained.

"Please my lady, it would be disrespectful to you and your group. I do not want to overstep my boundaries." Leto kept his head low. I crossed my arms and sighed a little.

"Then how about baby steps? My name is Nia. I'm not a noble, I don't hold a title, I'm just a measly person who hangs around the Grey Wardens." I explained. Leto raised his eyes and they were a soft honey color.

"Then…Nia." Leto nodded.

"Yeah. So where did these guys want to meet up?" I wondered. Leto showed me to the big dining hall. There were several tables but only one round table. The GWs settled there with most of the group sitting down. Shale and Sten were standing next to each other. I swear that Sten could easily be a golem with the way he stood so still. Morrigan wasn't around. Wynne and Leliana came in soon after and we all gathered around. Jowan was still looking around nervously while Zevran leaned on his hand in boredom.

"We have good news and bad news." Derek started.

"Start with the bad news." Eren said.

"Bad news is that the Assembly is locked because there is no king. No king means no support from the dwarves." Derek grumbled.

"We came all this way for a resounding no?" Wynne stated.

"Well then there's the good news! So long as we vouch for one of the men, we can get a King on the seat." Alistair grinned.

"Then we need to choose." Talen crossed his arms and leaned in his seat.

"Though I'm sure Derek has already made his choice." Eren chuckled.

"Derek?" Leliana wondered. Derek hooted.

"I'm going to be an Uncle! The best news is I saw my sister Rica! She's been with Bhelen all this time and is carrying his child! I say we go for Bhelen for king. I can't ruin this for my sister. She finally got a man that deserves her." Derek nodded.

"That's awesome! Congrats Derek!" I stood from my seat. Derek rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"But how do we go about on doing this? Should we assassinate his rival?" Zevran suggested.

"No, no assassinating." Alistair shot him down and Zevran pouted.

"Unfortunately that's actually a good case but Harrowmont is heavily guarded in his home. We only saw them during the Assembly. We'd have to go through his Second to get to him but to do that, we'd have to promise to put him in as King. It's too risky and we might lose some supporters for Bhelen. I'd say we work with Bhelen and get him on the seat as fast as we can. Once that happens, Harrowmont loses his ground anyway." Derek explained.

"So basically politics." I shrugged.

"Yep, for now get used to the place. This is going to take some time. While we're here, the dwarves can tend to our needs, food, clothes, etc. Since the Assembly ended, we'll be looking for the Second to Bhelen and see what he wants first. Go ahead and explore. Be careful if you're going into Dustown, the place is as bad as it gets." Derek explained, getting up. The GWs went out again to find the Second and we were left with the place.

"Do you think this place has a bath?" I wondered as Alfred came over to me and put his head on my lap. I scratched behind his ears and his foot twitched with glee.

"If you are speaking about the hot springs, we have them here." Leto said coming into the room. Leliana, Wynne, and I looked at each other.

Zevran cleared his throat. "May I-"

"NO!"

Alfred barked and we all went out of the room. Leto showed us to the furthest room. He explained that a natural running underground river was heated by the lava which made for baths. Those in the diamond quarter often had them, an influence from Tevinter he explained. There were even payable baths out in the commons. Casteless were banned from using them though and that made my stomach clench.

The casteless. I wanted to do something for them but I wasn't sure what. Orzammar house about 100 thousand dwarves and about a quarter of that population was in Dust Town. Change doesn't come easy but Bhelen is a voice for them. It's the reason why he fell for Rica in the first place. She is casteless but Bhelen truly loved her. Truthfully I hated both Bhelen and Harrowmont but the lesser of the two evils was Bhelen. He was a radical in ideas but this could be used for good. If I can do something for the casteless, Derek might help. I just need to figure out what

Leto opened the doors to the bath. There were two rooms, one for woman and another for men. There was a space for clothes as well. I took off my long sleeved shirt, pants, and took my boots off. A few female dwarves came in and set down towels for us and offered fresh clothes from the closet.

"If you can find anything that's long sleeved with some pants, that would be great, thank you." I asked. The girls seemed to be confused at my kindness but did so. Leliana, Wynne, and I settled into the bath. It was warmer than what I was used to but I was extremely grateful we weren't using icy cold water to wash with anymore.

"Oh this must be what the Maker's bosom feels like." Leliana moaned in happiness and Wynne laughed. She passed around her soap and we got down to taking off the grime from the last week.

"I hate feeling dirty. That's the one thing I try my best to ignore when we travel." I mentioned, washing my hair and dipping into the water.

"I feel the same. The mage tower has its benefits of cleanliness. I once knew a mage that had enchanted his robes to remain clean. It was astounding seeing it repel dirt and other things." Wynne mentioned.

"I didn't know you could do that." Leliana oohed.

"It's not something that should be used apparently. We have the job of letting our apprentices know that not everything can be solved with magic. We try to get them to rely on their own strength instead of just turning to magic for every solution. If something gets dirty, you can wash it. Minor cuts and wounds can be treated with bandages and the like, not just with magic. If we fall and put all our faith in magic, we'd be no better than Tevinter." Wynne shook her head.

"Still magic can be really useful. I'd be so lazy if I had magic." I laughed.

"And I'd be there to rap on your knuckles." Wynne wagged her finger.

"Not the knuckles!" I feigned hurt and we all had a good laugh. We got out of the baths and back to where the clothes should be. In our different boxes, we had a change of clothes. Wynne didn't take hers. She decided to just clean her mage robes. I took mine though. It was an airy tunic of sorts and the pants fit well if they were a bit short. It didn't matter since my boots where high. It was of a mix of green and the fabric was made of cotton. I would feel bad if it was made of silk.

"Should we really be living like this?" I wondered out loud.

"What do you mean?" Leliana said, putting on her own tunic. I scrunched up the fabric in my hands.

"We're being treated like near royalty while there's a group of people living in squalor beneath our feet." I bit my lip before feeling a hand on my shoulder. Wynne gave me a reassuring smile.

"Perhaps the Grey Wardens cannot solve everything but this is something that you may help with. Do you have any ideas as to help them?" Wynne asked. I shook my head.

"No, not yet at least. It's gonna leave a bad taste in my mouth if I don't do something though." I said.

"Then we'll find something yet. For now, we should take this opportunity to rest. We've had our fair share of experiences and it would be nice to rest our feet." Wynne said.

"A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step. Well, I'll figure out something." I nodded.

We got out of the baths and I went outside to explore. It didn't sit well for me just sitting around waiting for the guys to show up. I noticed that Jowan was also outside. He wasn't as grimy as before so I could only assume that he showered. He still looked gaunt though and his mage robes were loose on him.

"Why are you outside?" I asked which made him jump.

"Oh, it's only you Nia." Jowan chuckled, fidgeting with his robes.

"You're a really jumpy guy Jowan. I mean yeah you've done bad things but we're not going to bite." I reassured him.

"Oh I know but…you are a bit scary." Jowan cleared his throat. Considering I've been chasing him around and fighting with him so he can get a better grasp of his magic, I can see why.

"Fair enough. Wanna come with me to see the city?" I asked. Jowan looked at me like I grew a second head. "I'm not pressuring you or threatening you, merely asking you Jowan. You're a part of the group now. Sure there are some of us that don't like you and Alistair might want to kill you but, tough, you know? I mean, Alistair still hasn't accepted Zevran and definitely thinks Morrigan coming with us is a curse rather than a blessing. Stop thinking about what others are thinking about Jowan and come with me." I smiled. Jowan looked at me before looking down and smiling.

"Thank you. I thought that…well everyone besides Talen might just leave me to die, in a figurative and literal sense." Jowan said.

"Nah. You haven't done anything to me so don't worry, I don't hate you. From what I see, a part of your decisions were made because of the circumstances and the poisonous environments you lived in. Now that you're out of that place, you can start fixing your mistakes. Also, I don't think blood magic is all that bad." I said, signaling him to follow me.

"You don't? That's a very rare view point." Jowan said, coming along next to me.

"I can probably count on one hand how many people think that way. People are evil Jowan, not magic. So long as you keep it in control, you're alright in my book. Also keep your mind clear when dealing with your magic. I get that blood magic attracts demons but as long as you keep an open mind, you'll be dealing with more spirits than anything." I explained as we started going down the stairs.

"How do you know all of that?" Jowan asked.

"Oh yeah forgot to tell you. Well, since now you are a part of the group, I can. I had a spirit friend called Halo. Long story short, he helped me get into the fade, he eventually saved my life, and now I guess I'm carrying a piece of him inside me? I don't know the details." I shrugged.

"I…wow." Jowan muttered.

"Yep. Let's go to the marketplace yeah?" I laughed. So off we went to the center of the marketplace. There were plenty of stalls as well as shop districts around. The stalls had the most expensive stuff according to the dwarves, stuff from the outside world. Silks, jewels, even common place items outside were expensive down here. Paper and ink? Inflated as hell. I could understand why though. None of this stuff they can make down here so they have to import everything.

Unless you can sustain your people with your own resources, staying isolationists will only worsen the state of things. Which sucks because the dwarves are extremely prideful. They hold onto the past tightly of when they were a sprawling kingdom of connected paths, thaigs covering from here all the way to the edge of Orlais, the very thought of their downfall just that, a thought. Now they cling to their old notion of their strength without realizing that they are slowly sinking.

They don't put requests for aid, no one on the surface even realizes that they battle darkspawn on a constant daily basis, and so they are slowly dying out. After all my playthroughs, I knew that there wasn't much you can do for the dwarves unless they got the Grey Warden as a Paragon and Bhelen was on the throne. I was grateful that Derek was from the commoner origin since this means he would make sure that Bhelen was king to save his sister. If I could somehow do something for these guys, then I'd be so happy. But how was the real question.

"You're glaring at the journal your holding." Jowan said as I broke out of my concentration. The dwarf merchant was fidgeting from my gaze. I said a quick apology before clearing my throat.

"Sorry, I was thinking about things." I window shopped. Many merchants were yelling about Grey Warden discounts but I wasn't interested in anything. After all, we had to travel a lot. Dragging around unneeded weight is only going to slow me down. The only thing I was interested in was a cat carved from obsidian.

"Thinking about what?" Jowan asked.

"Thingy things, mostly on how to help the dwarves." I sighed. Jowan looked around at all the hustle and bustle.

"It seems they are well off aren't they?" Jowan looked at me and I gave him a flat stare.

"No I shouldn't blame you for your closed mind, the mage tower is the same way." I shook my head.

"Eh?" Jowan gave me a confused look.

"Jowan, sit with me so I can tell you the story of woe." I led him to a secluded place. I leaned against the wall and Jowan was looking almost scared. "I'm not going to bite your head off so calm down. Look Jowan, I'm a naturally helpful person. I like helping people though usually I just listen and sometimes that's really all a person needs. When it comes to big things though, I'm in over my head." The Couslands especially drained me. "I can only save a few and not the many but I want to change that. You think the dwarves are doing good but that's not true. From what I studied, the dwarves are living on the edge. They only way they can really survive is depending on the outside world while, at the same time, they reject it. They close themselves off, hoping to die with their pride, not knowing that it's the same thing that's killing them. I want to help. I want to bring something to the casteless. I want the dwarves as a whole to realize that they can do so much more than just conforming to the status quo. I don't know how though so I'm feeling guilty and frustrated." I let out a sharp exhale. "I'm at a loss."

"I see…there's not much I can do to help is there?" Jowan gave me a sheepish smile.

"You can help me with ideas. Something that would help these guys. I know Bhelen would be a good king even if some parts of him are…well let's just say I'm not his biggest fan." I frowned.

"I'm not sure what I can come up with. All my ideas ended up with me on the run or captured." Jowan shrugged.

"Good point." I laughed.

"But why do you want to do this? No one else has tried." Jowan wondered.

"Because…I love this world." I said breathlessly. "It's cruel, dirty, downright heartless at times…and yet it draws me in."

I have always loved dragon age. From the moment I picked up that PS3 controller, I was hooked. I read everything, I looked into everything, binged on it, broke my records, got all the trophies. Obsessed was an understatement. It was a tough life, thinking about all the shit the world of Thedas had to go through. Blights after blights, Exalted Marches, wars and more wars, the history of Thedas was bleak and there wasn't a lot of hope. That was the thing the drew me in though because I am a hopeful person. I look for the good in everything.

My husband always told me that the love I had for the world in general never left me. I believed in humanity, I had faith. Even after all this time I still do. I want to believe, I want to have faith, I want to hope. That won't stop and I don't want it to stop. I saved Eren and Oren but lost everything else. Rael hates my guts and I screwed up my chance to go home. Those are my failures but I have to learn about those and see what I can do with my own hands.

Am I taking this as a chance to make up for my mistakes? Probably. Am I doing this to let go my own feelings of guilt? Yep. Yeah, I can admit when I'm helping, I am also a bit selfish in my decision. I do it to ease my guilt but I also do it because I really do want to help.

One step at a time. That's all I can do.

* * *

 **Beta'd by Syutaku**

 **I'm getting back into the swing of things. I'm itching to get out a few more ideas in Orzammar this time. Some good ones, some emotional ones, hopefully I can make a few more readers cry lol.**

 **Also I've been collaborating with Fanatic24. Our story is called _Then, There, and When_ _._ The premise of the story: It takes place in the further future when Solas completes his task of tearing down the barrier of the fade...only for it not to completely destroy the world. Chaos has ensued for decades, war is constant, and Tevinter is now gaining with their new, powered up magic. He will eventually meet the new Inquisition of that time, and send them back, hoping that they can stop his past self from making a mistake. Check it out! :D**

 **Chimera Spyke:** _Lol no you're not wrong, It is a new power. From my first fanfic, I didn't actually have an idea as to what her powers were going to be. It was one of the plot holes that I had to bury, which it has! It is a magic syphon and yes, Halo is hungry. Her power will only get stronger from here on out :3  
_ **HellaRose:** _I'm glad you're liking the changes! I've put more thought into this rewrite. Honestly, I feel like I was copying another fanfic from the first time around because it influenced me so much. This time, it's all my own which is more work but it makes me happier :)_

 **Please Review!**


	80. Aeducan Thaig

9:30 Drakonis 16th

"It makes me wonder if she still loves me or not." Jowan finished with his details on running from the circle. We settled on the edge of the wall overlooking the lake of lava. Jowan was very much in love with Lily. Seeing his guilt on what he did was sad. Considering what happened to Lily though…that was one life that couldn't be saved.

"Talen said she was sent to Aeonar. I'm not sure what happens over there. That's another thing to add to your redemption." I mentioned.

"Yeah…I know." Jowan cleared his throat. "Thank you, for listening."

"It's what I do best. Besides, there's no harm in it. Come on, I'm sure the guys should be back to tell us what Bhelen's Second mentioned. Our first task to getting a seat on the throne." I said, stretching and starting to walk before someone ran into me. Whether it be gut feeling or if my instincts actually got better, my hand immediately grabbed their wrist. Unfortunately my boots weren't big enough for my coins and my rack wasn't big enough to shove stuff in. So yeah, was it wrong to put my coin pouch in my pocket? Probably, either way I had stopped it.

The dwarf was young but had the casteless tattoo on his cheek. I felt a pang of guilt and was about to give him some coins when the guards came around the corner. The young dwarf fled and ran as fast as he could.

"He wasn't troubling you, was he?" The guard asked me.

"Nope, no trouble here." I smiled and waved them along.

"Why did you say that? The dwarf was trying to rob you." Jowan asked.

"We're all made differently but the casteless is just like you. A person made by his environment. He wasn't asked to be born casteless but that's what the world gave him. I was going to even give him money before he left, oh well. Let's get back to the headquarters and see if we got a mission from Bhelen's second." I started to walk with Jowan coming beside me.

"Sometimes I wonder if you're a bit too kind." Jowan sighed.

"It's a good thing and a bad thing Jowan. More of a good thing than bad in my opinion." I said. We went up the stairs, making small conversation about the city. We managed to get to the headquarters without any more incidents happening. I noticed that not a lot of light were coming in from the holes in the ceiling. That means that the sun had already set.

We went into the dining room where the GWs were stationed. They had their game faces on already. Jowan shrank under Alistair's glare from across the room before I moved in front.

"Missy! I take it you're done touring around?" Derek wondered.

"Yep. I was almost robbed too, what an experience." I chuckled. Derek laughed with me while Eren looked worried.

"Nothing happened?" Eren wondered.

"Nope, I caught the guys hand and everything. He didn't stab me or anything so don't worry about that. Have we gotten anything from Bhelen?" I asked.

"Yep. Seems like Harrowmont had promised some holdings to two families. We found Helmi's house in the bar. Boss made sure to talk to him but we couldn't persuade him." Derek huffed.

"Then we found Lady Dace and we have hit a snag…" Alistair chuckled sheepishly.

"In order to get them to sway their vote, we have to find Lord Dace but he's on an expedition in the Deep Roads." Talen frowned.

"The Deep Roads? Shouldn't they be swarming with darkspawn?" Jowan gulped.

"And you're talking to the Grey Wardens." Derek darkly smiled. "We'll have to get ready for an expedition to meet them. What about missy? You up for it?"

"You know it." I gave a thumbs up.

"Then we'll have a team. For now, go rest. We'll talk to the rest to see who's willing to go. I'm sure that it's already nighttime outside." Eren yawned. I bit back against the urge to yawn myself and nodded. Jowan meekly followed after me.

"He still hates me." Jowan sighed.

"Well you did try to kill his adoptive family and started the events that led to the death of Isolde." I said flatly. Jowan hung his head. "The path to redemption is a long one, don't mess up because if you do…" I did a slicing motion to my neck. "We'll need to clean up the mess. Good night!" I said sweetly before heading to my room leaving Jowan gaping at me.

9:30 Drakonis 17th

I had switched out from the robes to my clothes. I had them washed and, with the hot stones near the spa, they got dry really quick. I put on my armor, now that it was shining, and stretched out my body. I had meditated in the morning and felt confident going into the Deep Roads.

"Yosh! Let's do this…" I murmured confidently and walked out of the room. I walked down the hall and saw the others gathered. Alfred barked and rubbed against my legs. "You coming with us boy?"

"He does need some exercise. A bit pudgy there, aren't you Alfred?" Eren came around. Alfred whined and barked.

"I'm pretty sure that's dog speak for, I'm not fat, you are." I laughed and Eren chuckled. "So who else is coming along?"

"Morrigan, Sten, and Talen." Eren replied.

"Derek isn't coming?" I wondered.

"He had to do something with his sister, it had to do with his mother." Eren explained. I hummed before Zevran came by in his leathers and dagger.

"Ah are we ready to go then?" Zevran wondered.

"You're coming?" Eren asked.

"I might as well. A knife can get dull with so much relaxation." Zevran chuckled. Eren shrugged but nodded.

"You know we're going into the nest of darkspawn? Any cut that gets hit by their blood and you'll turn into a ghoul, we might even have to kill you." I said.

"If it is by your blade, mi niña, I'll gladly welcome it." Zevran winked.

"Don't jinx it." I said, knocking on the stone wall. There's no wood but stone will do. We got out of the Diamond Quarter into the Commons. There were many that waved to us, well mostly to Eren, and we had to avoid some of the more persistent merchants. I saw Morrigan by a stall, looking at a jeweled hand mirror. Sten was stoic as a merchant was babbling next to him, trying to measure his massive body. I snorted when I saw Talen with a bag of food, chowing down all nonchalant. Alfred ran over to him and Talen glared.

"I'm not sharing. This is the first real meal I've gotten around here so get scraps from someone else." Talen stuffed his face while Alfred whined.

"Eating again Talen? Didn't you raid the pantry upstairs too in the middle of the night?" I raised my eyebrows. Talen looked at me before eating again. "It was you!"

"Shut up!" Talen's face grew red while I teased him again.

"Must you be so loud?" Morrigan scoffed, crossing her arms.

"Let them be. Children will be children." Eren chuckled.

"I'm a year older than you." I stuck out my tongue and Eren's eye twitched.

"And yet you allow your impulses to control you. Age is merely a number." Morrigan responded.

"What can I say? I've never let my inner child go." I laughed and Talen shook his head.

"If we're ready to go then I might suggest we leave now. The faster we go, the faster we can come back." Zevran mentioned.

"He's right, let's all go." Eren said. Sten grunted at the pushy merchant and followed us. I mentally checked off what I had in my pack while we went to the end of the Common's area. There was a wall built high unlike in the game with a set of guards up in front and another set of guards surrounding the entrance to the Deep Roads.

"Hold, no one can go past here." The Guard mentioned, standing between us and the road.

"I am Grey Warden Eren and I also have this permission from Lady Dace. We are to retrieve Lord Dace's expedition." Eren explained while giving the permission to the guard.

"Ah then you must be the group that came in. The permission is sound, you may go. You're in luck, there hasn't been much activity from the Darkspawn so your journey should be easy in dwarven standards." The Guard nodded and we were allowed to pass.

"I do not understand. The Deep Roads are the home to these creatures, why is it they have grown silent?" Sten wondered.

"Apparently since darkspawn go on the surface during a Blight, the Deep Roads start to get empty. Which is good for us since we're about to go through." Talen explained, eating the last of his food and securing his pack away.

"So they are gathering their numbers already…" Sten grumbled.

"We have always known that they would start to move once winter ended. There is not much we can do." Eren sighed.

"We can search the roads for the Archdemon no?" Zevran chuckled. "Perhaps the Maker will smile upon us and grant us a chance to end this before it truly begins."

"Yeah and with what army though? No Archdemon has been taken down by a small group, it takes waves of soldiers to even weaken it. Also it will most likely kill us." Talen shrugged his shoulders.

"Such an optimist." Morrigan chuckled. So off we went through the Deep Roads.

Day 1

It would take a maximum five days to get to the Aeducan Thaig and three if we book it. There wasn't much in the roads, some rubble, torn down tunnels, wagons of various items, and plain trash. Once we got through everything though, I was left in awe.

They were beautifully built. The architecture I would compare to the pyramids of Egypt. The utter detail to the road, the walls were amazing. The fact that these have lasted all these centuries is a testament to the intellect of the dwarves. I would find myself touching the walls and feeling the grooves of the various images carved into the stone. There was also a script of ancient dwarven carved along the images.

Sten was also admiring their work. He would rub his chin as he did the same as me. I could see the cogs working through his mind as he took apart the ability of the dwarves. Not only did he admire the artistry, he also admired the hard work it took to make all of this. Not only is this beautiful art it is also built solidly with soldiers in mind. Just like Iron Bull said, dwarves build for sieges, leaving nothing to chance.

To be able to see this roads in its full glory would have been amazing. Then the darkspawn took everything. All the thaigs, thousands of lives, their history. The darkspawn took everything from the dwarves and, even now, they are chipping away at their lives. So the dwarves are slowly dying with their pride firmly held in their hands.

Too bad I couldn't literally smack sense into their heads.

"Can you imagine how many years it would have taken to build all of this?" Zevran wondered.

"A long time, I imagine." Morrigan smiled. Even she was impressed with the architecture.

"And now they're all starting to crumble with the darkspawn's help and through the ravages of time." I sighed sadly.

"The dwarves were the first that fell from the darkspawn's attack." Eren mentioned.

And the world was less for it.

"The first Blight took everyone by surprise. Do you really think the Chant has it right? That the magisters of old were tainted by the Maker and were cast out?" Talen asked.

"Do not listen to the dribble coming from the Chant of Light. Tis just men's ability to feed us lies." Morrigan scoffed.

"We don't really have much of an answer for it so everyone tends to accept it. It's a good of an answer as we'll get though. If you don't believe in it, how do you think the Blight started?" I asked.

"Perhaps twas an old ancient spell gone awry. Or the mages touched something that shouldn't have been disturbed." Morrigan's voice took out a breathless tone like she was teasing us with a ghost story.

"You don't believe in the folly of man's pride?" I wondered.

"Of course I do, fools tend to embrace their vanity and allow it to control them." Morrigan rolled her eyes.

"I believe in the Chantry. There's no point in trying to explain it." Zevran shook his head. "Mages went into the fade, touched the black city, came back and now we are up to our necks in darkspawn, so sad." Zevran chuckled.

"We aren't here to discuss theology of any kind. We're here to find Dace." Eren said.

"And it's going to take a few days to get there right? We can't just walk in silence. For one, it's boring, and it just adds tension to the group." I explained. Eren rubbed his face.

"For once I agree with him. It is best to focus on our task." Sten said. I pouted at that.

"We can always talk strategy Sten and with everyone else. We are going to face a lot of darkspawn, blight or no blight. We need to know what we're going to be expecting." I suggested. Sten thought about it before nodding.

"This is an acceptable topic to discuss." Sten said.

"She's not wrong." Talen grumbled.

"Here we go." Zevran moaned.

Day 2

Deepstalkers are frigging ugly. We killed a pack going toward the Thaig. Nasty little things that can camouflage themselves as small stones. Their eyes are milky, their mouths resemble the mouths of lamprey, and they're like little raptors with long stringy fingers. Something out of a horror book in my opinion. They tend to squeak and growl when you get near them. A very wet growl I might add.

"I think this is one of the ugliest things we've seen." I touched the carcass with a tap from my foot.

"Excluding Alistair." Morrigan smirked and Zevran busted out laughing.

"He's not that bad on the eyes Morrigan. You would make a good love-hate pair." I snickered.

"Say that again and I will have your eyes bleed out from your skull." Morrigan glared. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"I am assuming that your husband looks like Alistair?" Zevran asked.

"Hell no, they are way different. My husband isn't nearly as built. He also had dark brown, curly hair and a goatee. He's as tall as Alistair though, if my husband tried to stand up straight." I described, following the rest on the path.

"I see. What would you do if you met a man that was similar to your husband?" Zevran asked.

"That's impossible, no one can be similar to him. Maybe in physical appearance but my husband is one of a kind. No one fits me better than him." I nodded with a smile.

"Such a love like yours is very rare." Zevran chuckled.

"I don't actually think it's rare. Sometimes love can come up in the weirdest places." I said, looking at Morrigan and Eren who were slightly ahead. They were keeping their voices hushed but I gave both a soft smile. Morrigan and Leliana can definitely make a lasting romance, it all depends on their partner.

"I see. My big friend, has anyone caught your fancy?" Zevran knocked his hand against Sten's armor. All he did was look down at Zevran.

"Is this question one that needs to be posed?" Sten rebutted.

"And that is my answer." Zevran sighed. Alfred barked next to him. "I don't need the sordid details of your romance life." Alfred huffed.

"What about you Zevran? Out of all this adventuring, have you been proactive?" I wondered.

"Ah such a bold question from my beautiful niña. If you must know, there are many women and men who fall for my charming ways. I would say more than half of them have warmed my cot." He winked at me.

"Congratulations." I laughed. "What about in Antiva? Is there anyone waiting for you there?" I asked. I knew the answer but I wanted to see Zevran's reactions. There was a hitch in his face. If I didn't know him so well, I would have dismissed it as a twitch of the face but there was a sort of rigidity to it. Zevran chuckled.

"If you are saying if someone had captured my heart, then I would have to say no. There is nothing for me in Antiva besides a few lovely boots I could not get. That and the Crows but I am happily missing them right now." Zevran dismissed it.

"Speaking of the Crows, what are a few of your adventures with them?" I wondered.

"You would like to know more?" Zevran wondered.

"Anything to pass the time. I don't like prolonged silence. I feel like it adds tension and I also get really bored." I said.

"I would take it as an opportunity to welcome it from the constant noise." Sten grumbled.

"Calm yourself my tall friend. We must take this as an opportunity to…grow closer." Zevran nonchalantly put his arm around my shoulders. I stepped on his foot and he hissed in pain. "Ah, so close." He grunted.

"Ha ha Zevran, are you going to humor me or not?" I laughed. Zevran pouted but then he smiled warmly at me.

"Fine, let me regale you with my tales of my beautiful Antiva and the deadly Crows." Zevran said, putting his hand on my shoulder though I let it stay there instead of shrugging it off.

Day 3

We found a few carta members that were killed off a long time ago. The stench turned my stomach. We had killed other Deepstalkers that were scavenging their corpses. A bronto laid with the carta members and nugs scattered away from us.

"I had heard that Leliana wistfully wanted one of these creatures." Morrigan commented.

"A nug? For what reason?" Zevran wondered.

"She finds them…cute." Morrigan scoffed.

"They are repulsive with odd appendages." Sten mumbled.

"They're…different I would say." Eren said.

"It's a sorta ugly cute thing you know? Kinda like hairless cats." I said.

"There is such a thing?" Zevran wondered.

"Yes! A lot of people don't like them obviously, but I would have loved to have one. Those wrinkles! Their hanging bellies! Their claws and beans!" I squealed.

"Beans?" Eren wondered.

"The pads on a dog or cat, though they mostly refer to the cat. They look like beans." I explained.

"Humans." Sten rolled his eyes.

"Hm maybe we can get something for Leliana then." Talen mumbled.

"You'd win a lot of points with her." I lightly elbowed Talen in the ribs and his face flushed red.

"It's not about making her like me back. I just want to do something nice for her." Talen frowned.

"Perhaps you would need some help in charming our residential bard, I have a few lines that has won me many lovers." Zevran walked on the other side of Talen.

"I don't need your kind of help Zevran." Talen walked closer to me.

"Is that why you haven't confessed, hm?" Zevran wondered and Talen's face heated up.

"There hasn't been the right time and I want it to come naturally." Talen mumbled.

"My little Talen is growing up!" I fake sobbed.

"The boy is becoming a man!" Zevran joined up.

"I hate both of you right now." Talen glared.

"Please, leave him be. If he gets any redder, he might explode into flames." Eren laughed.

"And we will be having a field day if we return with cinders." Morrigan chuckled.

"Is everyone going to make fun of me!?" Talen groaned. I put my arm around Talen.

"Think of it this way Talen, we all care for you and we show that love and care through our ribbing. We're like family and family usually insults one another but don't mean it." I nodded.

"Uh huh, sure." Talen rolled his eyes and rubbed his mouth, trying to hide the smile that he was wearing. I noticed a chain that was around his neck and pulled at it. "Hey, that's mine." Talen huffed.

"What is that?" I wondered. Talen reached into his robes and pulled out a necklace that had a ruby on it. Or that it looked like a ruby from far away. There was liquid inside the large amulet.

"This is the necklace given to us during our joining. It carries the blood we drank in the chalice as a reminder of those we lost." Talen said solemnly.

"We all have it, not just him. I usually carry it in my pack however." Eren explained.

"Can I hold it?" I wondered. Talen took it off his neck and handed it to me. It was warm to the touch. For being with it so long, blood would usually coagulate but this was still deep red. Black speckles hung on the red which made me realize that those spots were the darkspawn blood they had to collect. "It's beautiful in a disturbing morbid way." I handed it back to him.

"I like making sure that the ones who were chosen with us won't be forgotten." Talen nodded.

"Such a romantic." Zevran winked at him.

"Yeah, yeah, who says a guy can't be sentimental, hm? Mr. Boots." Talen chuckled.

"Not these ones, I would rather have some lavish ones with beautiful threadwork woven into the leather, perhaps some padding in the underfoot to allow extra cushion." Zevran sighed wistfully.

"Am I the only one that does not obsess over the uselessness of some objects?" Morrigan wondered.

"Well boots aren't useless. Good boots help you support your whole body and it doesn't kill to have a little support. Now, if I had to say anything, having so much jewelry isn't exactly a necessity." I said nonchalantly and Morrigan glared at me. "You're going to exact revenge when I don't realize it aren't you?"

"You know me so well." Morrigan cackled. And she says she's nothing like her mother, yeah right.

Day 4

Eren found the marker around a bend in the Deep Roads. After looking at the map that Lady Dace gave us, this was the starting point of the Thaig and where we should find Lord Dace's expedition. There was a sort of eerie silence that had permeated the walls the more we traveled. It was as if this place was touched by something dark. The walls had this weird blackness attached to it. We started to feel the tension and my hands kept on touching my daggers just in case.

"Here's the marker, this is the area that Dace was last seen at. Be on your guard everyone. We may have been lucky on our travels here but the darkspawn are much more present now." Eren warned.

"You feel them too?" Talen glared at the walls.

"Like their crawling inside my head." Eren scoffed. Alfred's ears were also erect, on a constant watch. We went further in, going on a right from a fork in the road. We found another marker from Dace's group when Talen and Eren stopped. "Get ready!" Eren shouted.

When they say that darkspawn came from the walls, the ground, that the shadows held the darkspawn, they meant it literally in the Deep Roads. The walls and floors cracked as a horde of darkspawn came through. Genlocks with shields were at the forefront and Hurlocks surrounded us. The darkspawn weren't smart usually but there were times that something seemed to shine through. Like the fact the archers where behind the shielded genlock was something of a strategy.

"Don't get blood on you!" Talen shouted as he held onto barriers for all of us. Sten, Eren, Zevran, and I broke from the group and went out in pairs. Eren and Zevran went with each other while I stayed with Sten. They went for the shielded genlocks as they would give us the most trouble. Morrigan transformed into her wasp form and went for the archers.

Talen sent out a fireball to the archers that were trying to escape from the wasps constant attacks only for them to get burned. I evaded a Hurlock and positioned myself behind. I aimed for the lower back and did quick stabs before kicking them away from me. I did these to two and cut the throat of another Hurlock before going back to Talen as he needed to redo my barrier. Unfortunately one shield genlock broke away from Sten and decided to follow me.

I ran from Talen and towards the wall. The genlock went to ram at me but I jumped at the last second, the shield embedded in the wall. I jumped on the genlock's back and stabbed into the neck before it slumped down. I evaded away from another Hurlock before Sten came and stabbed it through its armor. Morrigan retreated back into her human form and let out a dark mist around the Hurlocks that went into their skin. Soon they began to roar out in pain and one Hurlock shined before running into its group and exploding, causing a chain reaction. One genlock left and Eren decapitated it.

"Status?" Eren shouted. There were various forms of 'ok's' and, after Talen passes through, no one suffered much other than a few scuffs.

"Let's keep going." Talen let out a deep breath. We allowed the adrenaline to ease off as we kept on walking. The tunnels varied between darkspawn tunnels and dwarven tunnels. Dead ends abounded and it was getting hard to track down the markers. Zevran had a good eye for them so we kept on track. Deep mushrooms grew in various spots on the wall and nugs squeaked away in fear of us.

We came into a large cavern where there were a few Hurlocks and two emissaries floating around some kind of ruins. We all look at each other with worry. One emissary was tough but two?

"I really wish we asked Alistair." Talen mumbled.

"No point in going back." Eren unsheathed his sword. I saw Zevran reach into his back, a round bottle with a sort of liquid inside.

"This is an oil mixture that I created. It is supposed to douse the creatures. Should we mix this with fire, the flames will burn for some time." Zevran whispered.

"The creatures will scurry the moment we are noticed." Sten shook his head.

"Then we need to get them in once place, Morrigan?" Eren wondered. Morrigan gave him a proud smirk before changing into her wasp form. She flew over to the group of darkspawn as they swatted at her and even tried slicing her with their swords. Zevran sneaked closer with Talen close by, two of his oil glasses on hand. Once Morrigan has herded them into a close group, Zevran threw the two bottles, dousing them with his mixture. Talen immediately followed up with his fireball.

The darkspawn screeched in pain. Eren, Sten, and I moved on forward into battle. A genlock recovered quickly from the fire and came right for us, two Hurlocks right behind him. Eren went up in front and did a shield bash right at its face. I sidestepped and rocked my knuckles into the Hurlock. In the moment it took to recover, I had switched to my blades and stabbed it in its chest and kicked it away. Sten made short work with his Hurlock, stunning him with a pommel strike and them decapitating him.

Three more Hurlocks recovered from being burned. Morrigan retreated to her original form, setting off a dark magic that caused the Hurlocks to walk around as if they were dizzy. Zevran and I came together to try to off them before the Emissaries shot off a fire and ice spell together. Talen put up a protective barrier and shielded us. The emissary drew out a sickly green light that seemed to heal the Hurlocks and they came at us.

"We need to kill the saarebas!" Sten shouted as he avoided a spirit spell.

"Morrigan try to disorient the mages! We need to separate them!" Eren shouted as he avoided a spell and a hurlock's blade. More dark magic seeped out and it seemed to work. Talen shaped a fireball that killed one Hurlock and forced the two darkspawn mages apart. Unfortunately, one decided to focus on Talen. He held up a barrier as the emissary sent out a beam of spiritual magic towards Talen. After kicking a Hurlock that came up to me I ran to Talen's aid.

I jumped up and buried my daggers into the back of the emissary. It roared and bucked underneath me. I got dizzy from all the movement and felt my grip weaken. I climbed the emissary and put the darkspawn in a chokehold. It tried grabbing at my arm and I grabbed onto the fleshy part of its arm.

The air crackled around me as I felt the rush of the magical syphon. The bucking started to slow down and the emissary was touching the ground, struggling to keep on floating. My vision started to change and I saw a dark circle, surrounded by so many other ones. If I touched this, something would go inside me. Luckily that vision was broken as the emissary dropped down on the ground unceremoniously with me on the bottom. My breath was knocked out of me. I saw a Hurlock hold its blade over my head before it got a sword through its gut. Sten kicked it off his sword before grabbing the body of the mage and threw it off me. Sten hesitated when he saw me. I got up anyway, weirdly jumpy and pumped.

"It's still alive." Zevran hummed, looking at the emissary before he slit the throat.

"Is something wrong Sten?" I wondered.

"No." Sten looked away, an odd look in his eye but I didn't push. Talen and Morrigan were also eyeing me but they didn't push. The bodies of the darkspawn were littered all over the cavern. Eren did a few double taps just in case and we moved on.

There wasn't much more to the Thaig. There were ruins buried with rubble, several dead ends with Deepstalkers coming at us. They were easy to get rid of, a few spells, some stabs, and done. Zevran pocketed their poison sacs for later use.

"Any markers around?" Eren wondered after we hit another dead end.

"They lead over here." Zevran said. We followed him to a door embedded into the stone. The ruin opened to us. We followed the trail towards stone homes. They resembled the homes around the commons area. Eren unsheathed his sword as we heard shouts coming from beyond. We saw the Dace house surrounded by a horde of Deepstalkers.

"Come on!" Eren shouted. We followed him to the Dace expedition. They were a team of six but against a small horde, even they can get overwhelmed. Talen let out a few fireballs where more were coming. Morrigan shifted into her wolf form to tackle them. Out of all of us, Sten was having a harder time as he had to duck low with his sword to reach them. Zevran and I tag teamed. I would knock them down with a good knuckles to their back and he would follow up by taking off their head with his daggers.

Their poison stung like hell. They felt like a sugar burn and those are the worst. Thanks to the armor, I was well protected but the acid was slowly eating away at my other equipment, specifically my gloves and boots. Poor Zevran and Talen were getting the brunt of the acid as they wore leather and cloth robes. Morrigan was also getting bombarded by the acidic spit. Talen kept putting up the barriers for all of us but he was getting run ragged.

Finally the first horde was dealt with. Eren tried to talk to Lord Dace but he only grumbled at him, talking about a second wave. The rest of us looked around the ruins. The sounds of our breathing were the only thing that broke the silence. I tried to focus more on my weapons than the acid that was currently burning my hands. Curse fingerless gloves.

"Here they come!" Dace raised his mace and shield, his men shouting in agreement as they raised their weapons. The rest of us got ready. Another miniature horde came at us. It was a mess of bodies trying to kill the white Deepstalkers. Talen let his proficiency with fire to help keep the Deepstalkers at a distance from their acid spit. Morrigan switched to her bear form to deal with the Deepstalkers. They started to overwhelm her as they kept on climbing on top of her.

Eren came by and killed the ones surrounding her. Morrigan couldn't keep up with her transformation and went back to her human form. Eren cradled her against him. Sten came by and protected them from more Deepstalkers.

"Urgh! This is getting ridiculous!" I shouted as I kicked away three away from me. Talen grabbed me and pushed me towards Sten, Morrigan, and Eren.

"Get behind me!" Talen shouted to Zevran. We were huddled against a broken-down home. Talen was in front of all of us, his staff in front with a large and powerful barrier up. The staff started to glow and the air grew hot.

"Haahh!" Talen battle shouted as he summoned a firestorm surrounding us. At first I thought Dace was about to get scorched when I noticed that they also had barriers. The Deepstalkers screeches sounded horrible against the fire but, after a few minutes, they all died down. Talen put down his staff, breathing heavily, sweat running down his face. The Deepstalkers were black and crispy surrounding us. Talen took a step forward but swayed.

I came over and put his arm around my shoulders. He leaned heavily against me as he was exhausted. Then the moment was broken as Dace was laughing his ass off. He came over, putting his mace away as he approached our group.

"Now that was a show! I haven't seen something that surprising since a casteless won the Proving! Who are you strangers?" Dace wondered.

"Good to meet you, Lord Dace." Eren nodded. "My name is Eren Cousland and I am a Grey Warden visiting Orzammar."

"A warden?" Dace whistled. "Not my first guess but that explains why you came through the Deep Roads. Is there something you need from our house?"

"A vote if possible. We came across these papers that shows Harrowmont approving holdings for you and House Helmi. Unfortunately, they are the same holdings." Eren described as he passed off the papers to Lord Dace. His good myrrh was ruined by the papers he held.

"What? How did you find these? Bah, doesn't matter. That lying, cheat! To think I wouldn't have known about this until it was too late. You save my house a good deal of money Warden. I guess now is the time where you convince me to vote Bhelen instead." Dace put the papers away in his pack.

"It would help us greatly if you chose to vote for him instead, yes." Eren nodded.

"Then you have the vote of my House." Dace nodded. "Me and my expedition are done with the Aeducan Thaig, for now. How about we go back as a group? It's safe in numbers."

"I think that's the best option for everyone. Allows us to rest before we head out and we will accompany you." Eren agreed.

"Good, come on boys! Let's get some of these Deepstalkers home!" Dace shouted as they began to salvage what they could from the mountain of corpses around us.

"That's two for Bhelen and zero for Harrowmont." Talen chuckled before he promptly blacked out in my arms.

* * *

 **Beta'd by Syutaku**

 **OMG! I got seven reviews! Well six awesome reviews and one criticism but hey, everyone eventually gets their own. Either way, I've never had so many reviews since my DA2 story. I got so many warm feelings, I made sure to make my beta hurry. He didn't rush though so it's still good quality editing :)**

 **Also another reminder of the collab between me and Fanatic24. Our story is called _Then, There, and When_. Time travel future stuff happening eventually lol**

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 **DannyPhantom619:** _She will eventually go home, eventually being the key word here. I have the whole game planned out till the end of Trespasser and then some with foreshadowing of what might happen. I hope you'll continue to read and review here and there :)_

 **Please Review! :D They make me write faster!**


	81. Planting an Idea

Day 5

It's interesting to have a sleep cycle underground and also very weird. Has it really been five days? Is it nighttime outside but we're awake? Also, how does the dwarves body regulate their sleeping patterns!? I'm so curious and would like to know but I'll hold off my weird research until after we get back. All I know is that we were able to sleep on the roads peacefully with Dace's expedition.

He has also heard of the infamous/famous Derek Brosca and his win at the proving.

"That man? Heh, gave us Deshyrs a mean headache." Dace said. We had camped out after diligently walking out of the Aeducan Thaig. Talen had exhausted himself and I carried him before Eren took him. We spent a few hours away from the Thaig, camping out, resting from the battle, and also eating. I had taken some of the few rations from the Grey Warden building and made a decent stock with the nug bones and ended up having a sort of nug barley soup. I have to say, I'm getting good at whipping up soup on the fly. My husband would be so proud.

"So that proving was a big deal then?" Talen wondered, eating his rations like it was his last meal. He had soup all over his mouth. He was about to wipe it on his robes before I smacked his hand and gave him a handkerchief that I had on me.

"More than a big deal. The provings are for the Ancestors. As the name suggests, we fight to prove our worth as warriors. It's a sport but with great respect…from what they say. Pft, it's all bronto shit. What's there to prove? We fight for ourselves. It's entertainment and can get tedious. What that casteless did all those years ago made a few of us realize that some of them got chops. There's not much we can do. I'm only one of the very few that think that there's something good in the casteless." Dace drank.

"We haven't met the casteless, yet." Eren sighed.

"Don't get your hopes up Warden, they live in squalor, people get killed there all the time, lyrium gets smuggled under our noises. Our dark secret? All the nice things we have in the Diamond Quarter? Most of it comes from them. Our economy with Tevinter? It's from them too. The Deshyrs, nobles, don't like being reminded of that. Every so often the Carta gets taken care of but they come back like always." Dace shrugged.

"Isn't there anything we can do to change things?" Talen asked.

"We respect Grey Wardens greatly, but even you guys won't be able to grow something in the dust." Dace said.

Which got me thinking…

After we ate, rested, slept, we packed up and moved. Talen and Eren were thinking of the casteless but Dace got me thinking. Underground water is filled with minerals. Lava abounds so that means the soil must have come from it right? I may be overspeculating but what if…what if we could grow things here? There has been ton of experiments using artificial light back home. I mean, even the Japanese can grow vegetables in only water without the need for soil.

As of right now, Dwarven economy is too dependent on their lyrium supply. Their biggest buyer is the Tevinter Imperium. All of that goes to shit once Red Lyrium takes over and they lose all their capital. No wonder Orzammar basically starves during the Breach. For a healthy economy, they need to have variety of what they are selling. Putting all your eggs in a basket is too risky. They don't really like selling much else. Nugs are their main food and who would want to eat those when you have so much other meat to choose from on the surface? Then there's deep mushrooms but they're not exactly safe to eat and are mostly used in alchemical recipes. Of course there's that little cake from Orlais that uses deep mushroom but that's just crazy.

If I can somehow grow something in Dustown, I may be able to change something. Perhaps an underground garden? Possibly some farmers? At this point it's a small plan. It's going to take a lot of testing and help.

"You have something on your mind, mi niña." Zevran stared at me.

"Huh?"

"You have this far off look also your face keeps on changing." Eren chuckled.

"My face?" I cocked my head.

"For one, it looks like you have lost your mind. Then your brow scrunches up as if you are thinking harder than you are capable of." Morrigan smirked.

"Ha, ha Morrigan. Yeah I got something in my mind, an experiment I guess you can say." I nodded.

"Ah is it one that has to do with-" Zevran started.

"It's a secret." I giggled. Morrigan rolled her eyes while the group from Dace's expedition were throwing out some colorful dwarven vocabulary. Sten was oddly silent and I could tell that he often looked at my direction. We had found a nice crook in the roads to serve as our camping grounds. I had just finished making another round of stew when I noticed that Sten has walked away from the group. I let the others get their food instead and went to him. There was something on his mind and I wanted to know what.

"Sten? You ok?" I walked over to him. He stood at attention, staring at the deep roads. He reminded me of Alfred when he got serious.

"You have done well in mastering yourself." Sten said. That set off immediate red flags because Sten wasn't one for praise.

"I've been keeping up my meditations. I owe it all to you Sten. You made me realize that I had to work on myself, to keep at my purpose, and to make sure I own up to it." I nodded.

"And yet you kept something hidden from me." Sten grumbled. I gave him a confused look.

"What do you mean?" I wondered.

"You are not a mage?" He asked.

"No. I don't have the well that everyone keeps on talking about. There are no fireballs coming out of me." I shook my head.

"Then why did your eyes glow?" Sten stared down at me.

"…Huh?" I blinked.

"When you finished battling with the emissary, as you came crashing down, for a moment I had seen your eyes. They had a shine to them as if the sun had settled in them, if only for a moment. You have told me you are not a mage and that you have no magical talents but that is not normal." Sten was worried for me. Made me feel all warm inside if he wasn't staring at me like he wanted to kill me.

I exhaled and rubbed the area between my eyebrows. "Ok, you deserve an explanation but, keep in mind, it's not like I wanted to keep this from you. I'm still trying to figure it out. Back at Soldier's Peak when I had sacrificed myself for Eren, I died, naturally. The fade rift was still there, though, and my spirit friend that has been helping me passed through. He revived me but the way he did it was…different. He gave me a part of himself so that I can live. So in truth, I guess you can say, I'm not entirely…human." I fidgeted. "At least not anymore, even I don't know what I am. What I do know, however, is that this part of Halo that got transferred over to me seems to have changed me." I stared at my hands.

"I first noticed this in the fade, and before you ask even if I visit the fade I still can't control magic." I quickly said as Sten opened and then shut his mouth. "Wisps there seemed to tell me that I had power, a power that was inside me now. I couldn't get much out of them because wisps are simple, they only speak simple thoughts. Then Shale came to me and even she sensed it because of the fact that her crystals work with magic and the fade too. She told me that she senses a sort of hunger from me but, at the same time, that I make her abilities much easier to do. I'm a fountain of power, more like a trickle at this point though. Magical abilities grow more powerful around me, at least that's what I got from it. I haven't experimented enough to really know." I started to pace.

"Then something big happened. On our way here, do you remember the assassin's ambush?" I asked.

"Of course." Sten said.

"I fought with a mage in the forest and grabbed her face with my bare fingers. It seemed like her power flowed into me. The longer I held, the weaker she became. I almost saw a glowing sphere almost. I had a sinking feeling that I would be forever changed if I took it. Then I let go and she fainted. I tried touching the others but it had no effect. Then I tried again with the emissary and I think that if I touch something with magic, I can absorb…mana? Magic? This is all me just guessing." I shrugged. "I didn't mean to keep this from you. I want to learn to control this, to master it I guess you can say before I hurt anyone."

"This is admirable of you but having a demon from the fade inside you is…unnerving." Sten cleared his throat.

"No matter what Sten, if something happens and I go crazy, then I want you to take care of me. I know you can do it." I nodded.

"That has always been decided." Sten nodded.

"Good…you're not mad at me for keeping it secret are you?" I wondered.

"You had a right to keep it from the others. It would not be wise for you to explain this…power, so offhandedly. The fact that you are making time to conquer it is a natural decision and one that I commend." Sten said. I smiled warmly at him and his face softened.

"Thank you Sten." I said. Sten only nodded but I did see his lips twitch.

This just gave me the push I need to figure this out though. Once everyone was rested, I decided to join Talen in keeping watch. Once I knew that nearly everyone was asleep, I sat next to Talen as he stared into the fire.

"You want to talk about something don't you?" Talen yawned.

"You knew?" I asked.

"You had a look on your face since the Thaig. I figured that you'd probably choose me to work through it. I was surprised that you talked to Sten about it though." Talen said.

"Sten is really good in advice. The Qun is all about mastery of self after all, not like I'd be joining in though. The ideas they have make sense but I'm not about to make myself a viddathari. Well, so you know about Halo becoming a part of me yeah?" I asked and Talen nodded. "Well…I think I'm able to use his power now."

"Huh? What power?" Talen wondered. I took off my glove, although my fingers still showed through, I think that this was the best way to show Talen. "Don't move." I said. Talen looked at me with confidence and stayed still. I reached out, hesitated slightly, then touched his face.

A rush of power swam from Talen to me before I let go. The air seemed to crackle and I saw Talen grit his teeth. His hand slapped over to his cheek and he got to his feet. His honey colored eyes looked at me with shock. He let out a sharp exhale as he remembered to breath.

"What…was that?" He said breathlessly. I bit my lip before sighing.

"I think I was turned into a magical syphon and, before you ask, I already tried it on two magical enemies." I put on my glove again as Talen tentatively sat back down, putting distance in between us. "Don't worry, it has to have skin on skin contact. That's how I was able to catch you when you fainted back then. I was grabbing your robes."

"So…this is what was on your mind." Talen rubbed his cheek.

"That and another thing but this thing is also important. Shale told me that I have a power that's hungry but, at the same time, I'm like a fountain of power. Does that make sense?" I asked. Talen rubbed his chin.

"Well that would explain why my spells have gotten easier when you're around me." Talen said.

"So it does have an effect on you?" I wondered.

"It's minor but it's still there. The way I can explain it is if I had a wisp helping me with my magic. Because I have something like that near me, it boosts my magic up, temporarily. You're like an all day, every day thing. It was subtle at first but lately it's gotten slightly noticeable. I use a lot of my magic around everyone. I put up barriers, I shoot fireballs, I use my blood magic to control the darkspawn blood so it doesn't get everywhere." Talen described.

"You use your blood magic that way?" I asked.

"Yeah, ever since Lothering and Soldier's Peak, I've been doing some tests here and there with it. The potion I drank in Soldier's Peak gives me more of a mastery over darkspawn blood. I've been subtly using my magic to control where it falls so it doesn't get into any wounds or in anyone's mouth. It was hard at first but I've gotten better at it. It leaves me really drained though so I sleep like a log every night. Then I noticed it was getting better and I don't feel as tired. I connected the dots. If I'm by you, my magic feels restored than if I'm not." Talen explained. "So you think this is Halo's power?"

"I'm not sure what Halo's power was. He said the closest thing that he can compare himself to was a protection spirit. Keep in mind that Halo was a spirit from my world and they're not exactly cut and dry like it is here. They don't embody ideas and some have minds of their own. Both the demons and the good spirits are much more whole back in my world. It could be this is a part of what he is." I said.

"And your reason to come to me?" Talen wondered.

"Sten had said that my eyes glowed slightly when I took down the emissary back in the Thaig. Something about absorbing power makes me different. I wonder, can I use this power for myself? Can I control this power too? Can I make it so if I touch mages, it will be fine? There's a lot of question that I need to answer about this and I want to do this as quickly as possible. I don't want to be a burden and, if I can use this to help us, then I need to figure it all out." I explained. Talen nodded and put his chin in his hand.

"I'll be your test subject then to see what we can gather from it. You better write down all of this so we can compare notes eventually. For now, get some rest. I don't sense any darkspawn near us and you need to sleep." Talen shooed me away.

"You got it and thanks Talen." I smiled. Talen smiled back before going back to stare at the fire.

First off from all the things I gathered. One: I can syphon off energy and only from mages. Question: Does this mean I am taking their magic or their life force? Also, what is that sphere that I keep seeing? Two: I can make spells and Shale's abilities easier around me. Question: Does this mean that I also have a connection to the fade? What is that connection? What does it have to do with Halo? What can Halo do and can I use that power that Halo can use?

And the greatest question of all: Will I be able to control it all one day?

Day 6

We got back to the city as it was getting 'nighttime' by the dwarves standards. Our trip back was uneventful but Talen had promised me that he would make sure to test out my abilities with me. When we got back to our headquarters, the GWs went right back to Bhelen as quickly as possible.

In the meantime, I tracked Wynne who was reading in the library. She was well into her book until I knocked slightly on the table next to her.

"Oh, Nia, welcome back." She smiled warmly at me.

"Yo Wynne, sorry that I haven't bathed at all but I kinda need your help on an idea that I have." I said.

"Of course, you can ask for help though I will need more details." Wynne nodded.

"Awesome! I'll come talk to you after I get all washed up." I giggled. I went to the large warm baths and made sure to get off all the grime from the Deep Roads. The bathrooms are what I loved most from the dwarves. Underground rivers are able to give you mediaeval flushable toilets. They remind me of the roman ones back in the day. They even have the sponge on a stick but, if you ask me, I would still prefer toilet paper. Ah the luxuries of modern life. Well that was too much reminiscing.

I put on some dark green robes and went back to the library. I sat across from Wynne, my hair still lightly damp. Wynne closed her book and gave me a curious glance.

"So what is this idea that you have?" Wynne asked.

"I want to see if things can grow underground." I put it out there.

"Things?" Wynne wondered.

"Well more specifically, crops. Trees won't be able to considering they need wind in order to grow strong but what about others? Elfroot can grow almost anywhere, it's a hardy plant! Maybe…maybe if we can figure out what can grow here…" I started to feel embarrassed from my idea as the utter futility started to weigh down on me. Wynne gave me a warm smile.

"You really want to help the dwarves don't you?" Wynne asked. I nodded. "Well, I do have a few seeds I can lend you. We'll have to see whether the ground here can even support them."

"Well we need fertilizer, a place with plenty of light, and a place to make sure that it won't get trampled on. The only place that has plenty of dirt is Dustown. I'm just worried whether we'll be able to go there. There's a lot of crime and people might destroy the seeds before they can even grow." I sighed.

"Now don't go about defeating yourself before you even start. Derek is from Dustown, perhaps he knows of a place where we can do this." Wynne placed her hand on my head.

"Yeah, I guess we'll have to wait until they come back from Bhelen's." I said, liking that she was running her hand through my hair. It reminded me of my mom and how she used to do it.

"Ah you're both here." Leliana came in and Wynne and I looked at her. "The Grey Wardens just came back from Bhelen." We got up and went toward the dining room.

"Did they say anything?" I asked.

"Not yet." Leliana said. We got in there and everyone was waiting for us. Jowan and Morrigan were up against the wall. Sten and Shale were standing at attention. We took our places on the round table.

"I heard Dace accepted the papers and we got to have a meeting with Bhelen himself, thank the Stone. Now here's the deal. We got our next mission and it's not going to be easy." Derek cleared his throat. "As you know, we have an underground group called the Carta. It's run by the casteless and they do the dwarves dirty work. They smuggled things from the surface world, they deal in lyrium trading, they kill those that wrong the deshyrs. All in all, it's a weed that gets plucked every so often. As much as they say that they are a blemish on dwarven culture, they are needed. With that said, Bhelen had ordered us to kill them."

"Why kill a needed group?" Zevran wondered.

"To make themselves look better. You really think the nobles are going admit that they need them? Hah! They'd be rolling in their graves before saying that they want the Carta around! Even if we're the ones that peddle and scrape by to bring them their silks and fancy shit." Derek grumbled.

"Derek, you said you weren't taking this personally." Eren looked at him.

"Well I lied boss. Those guys, as much as I hated them, gave me the means to take care of my sister and mother. Now, I have to kill them. Don't get me wrong, I'm more livid at the fact that we're going to kill them because it will make him look better. The Carta never really had my loyalty and the people wanted me dead too so there's no love lost between us. I just know that the Carta is going to go right back up again even if we do this." Derek got up from his chair and got out. Eren rubbed his face and Talen scowled.

"This isn't exactly what we had in mind when we thought about choosing Bhelen." Alistair sighed.

"Are you sure we need to do this?" Wynne asked.

"If not Bhelen, then Harrowmont would do it as well from what Derek told us." Talen shrugged. "We don't really want to do it either but it's not exactly like they're doing good either. From what Derek said, they blackmail, cheat, kill, to get by. They're not exactly good at heart."

"That doesn't mean anything. We are not the ones to judge these people." Leliana gripped the table.

"And? We are not here to sympathize with their plight. We are here for one thing only and that is to gain allies for our cause, no matter what they decide to do." Morrigan put her two cents in.

"Truthfully, even if we do lay down the hammer on this group, they will only rise up again. You can call it spring cleaning, no?" Zevran shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.

"Either way, this is what is needed to gain Bhelen's approval. We only just got his trust. We can't afford to lose it. We will need to gather information about the Casteless. Leliana, Zevran, think of something to go into Dustown without getting too much attention." Eren stood up.

"Are we really going to go through with this Eren?" Alistair wondered.

"It is a needed sacrifice." Eren nodded before going out. I saw a smirk coming from Morrigan before she followed him out.

"You have been uncharacteristically quiet." Leliana looked at me. I gave her a strong look before getting up.

"I might have an idea." I said before getting out. I walked through the halls, looking for Derek's room. I found it by chance. A servant woman ran out of the room with tears in her eyes, not even noticing me.

"Haile! Wait!" Derek came out and I stood there awkwardly. I gave him a small wave. "Missy, what are you doing here?"

"Well…" I wrung my fingers. "I have an idea…maybe a good one, maybe a bad one. One that I'm not really sure-"

"Spit it out missy." Derek looked up at me. I bit my lip.

"I want to help the casteless by figuring out how to farm underground." I stated. Derek raised an eyebrow.

"A farm? Here?" Derek chuckled.

"I'm serious! I know about the dwarves and how they're slowly dying off because they keep on forgoing their chance on getting help. Well, if they're going to try to be isolationists then they need to figure out how to sustain themselves. Trees won't be able to grow but I want to try my hand at growing other things. Please Derek, I don't want to just stand by and let your people die." I stood still and waited for a response.

"What's your idea?" Derek asked. I felt a slight weight lifted from my shoulders.

"Underground water runs high with minerals, which in itself is good for plants. You also are living around constant volcanic activity. I don't know much about the geographical history around here but I'm pretty sure that the ground had some contact with lava, magma, whatever which means the soil should also be high in nutrients. Meaning, if we can somehow get things together and maybe start a farming community, your crops will be really amazing!" I felt like a person starting to sell a pitch. Derek rubbed his farm.

"It seems like a good idea so how are you going to try to implement it?" Derek wondered.

"Well we need fertilizer for a patch of dirt, and we also need a patch of dirt." I laughed. "I want to try it in Dustown but we need a good area where people won't just destroy it. Since you know the layout and stuff, I was wondering if you can show me a good spot. One that has a lot of light too." I saw Derek thinking.

"I got a spot for you. Get you your ferti-whatever and what you want to grow and I'll show you." Derek nodded.

"Great! Also, who was that girl that ran out of your room?" I asked.

"An old flame of mine. Came around, slapped me a little bit, she'll come back." Derek rubbed his head. "Anyway, go get some sleep. We're not heading towards the Carta hideout yet. They changed the locks again so it's going to take a minute to figure how everything works. I'll come by in the morning to see what we can do with your idea though."

"Yeah, thanks Derek." I said.

"No problem missy." Derek said, going back to his room. I went to my own. Wynne came by and gave me some of her seeds that she said belonged to hardy and stubborn plants. Hopefully, if things go well, we'll be able to pick and choose what grows well here and what doesn't.

Day 7

Things were solemn in headquarters, not like I expected anything different. Alistair and Talen were taking it hard, along with Leliana and Wynne. After all, our enemies this time are people. Bad people but people nonetheless. We are merely human. We don't judge them, God will. At least that is what I like to believe. Dwarves return to the stone and the stone accepts all, as much as the Deshyrs like to think it picks and chooses.

I got up earlier and went to the marketplace. They don't exactly have ranches for brontos but they do have stalls for them. They're used for long expeditions and they carry supplies for them. Which means poop, which means fertilizer. I'm not a gardener but I do know that you mix fertilizer with soil, plow it up to really get in there, press it down, and let the soil rest for a day. After that, you then start to plant stuff.

The guy who took care of the brontos looked at me strange when I offered to buy the waste from him. He muttered 'strange human' before giving it to me. It rank so much but this would do it for now. Derek was waiting for me at the opening leading to Dustown. Unlike the rest of the city, this had a path leading to it. Just like its name, the path wasn't made of stone but dirt.

Dustown was living up to its name. It was the oldest part of the city and there were many abandoned homes. They weren't taken care of so many were slowly turning into rubble. Derek walked with such calm even if I knew we were being watched. It was creepy to say the least. Soon we started going uphill, somewhere away from the middle of Dustown where I knew the Carta hideout would be.

"Where are we going?" I asked. The place that Derek was taking me seemed completely deserted. The homes surrounding us I bet couldn't even have someone living there. Everything seemed so fragile even if it was made out of stone.

"A lot of dusters don't come around here. This is probably the oldest spot in Orzammar. As you can see, it hasn't been taken care of at all. History around here only live in the memories. So long as they're there, they don't care what happens to them physically. There's nothing to be had here. The tallest point in Dustown but for what? All you have is some light from the lava flows and a view of the shit down below." Derek laughed darkly. "No one is going to reach around here for a time. Go ahead and choose your spot. I'll keep a look out. Can't be too careful around these parts."

"Ok." I nodded. I checked all the things off my list to find a spot. I kept away from the homes but found a small crook. There were two stone walls supporting each other but a cracked window that seemed to help form a small lit corner. I didn't have a shovel but my daggers should help with the work for now. I only needed a small spot.

I started digging a decent sized square where the light was hitting the ground. I dug deep, overturning the soil many times. Once it was soft, I started to add the fertilizer. Oh man, I knew I would regret how it would make me smell but it was needed. I kept on overturning the soil until the dirt and the waste turned into deep and dark soil. I was sweating buckets and my back was already starting to hurt from being hunched over so long.

My hands, although were calloused from the constant fighting, were starting to feel sore. Once I knew the mixing was done, the packing started. I didn't have a shovel so I had to use hands and my weight until I got another idea.

"Derek! Can you use your hammer?" I panted. Derek raised his eyebrow but shrugged. I led him to the spot and explained if he can use his hammer to pack the soil around.

"You sure you know what you're doing?" Derek wondered.

"Truthfully, I'm not a farmer. Hell, I wasn't even a gardener. That was my dad, always with the green thumb but this is the extent of my knowledge. Remember this is just a theory, a test. Either I get results or I don't get results, that's it." I shrugged.

"Heh, high stakes. There's a reason I'm so fond of you." Derek guffawed before hammering the soil. Soon it was packed.

"Good, now to let it rest for a day. Then it's time to start planting and watering. Hopefully this will work." I smiled fondly at my little dark square on the ground.

"You really want to help us, don't you?" Derek asked. There was a tiredness in his eyes. I remember that Derek was much older than us, the second oldest when you consider Wynne. He lived through a lot of bad times.

"Yeah." I nodded. Derek went over to the hill nearest the lava flow. I saw he had a bottle. He looked at it before tossing it right into the lava. "What was that?"

"I had to pay my mother her respect. Haven't been able to since I've been here. Heh, she probably would have berated me anyway. Nothing was ever good enough for that woman. Rica told me that she was being a sourpuss on her deathbed. Didn't even care about Rica getting pregnant and finally being part of a noble caste, to Bhelen of all people! Nah, all she ever talked about was why couldn't I see her on her deathbed and that I was stupid for even leaving in the first place." Derek cleared his throat. "Damn, sodding woman." Derek shook his head.

In a way I could understand. I always felt like what I did was never good enough for my mom. Though that's were all the comparisons can come to. I had a semi broken family, most of the problem had to deal with my dad. Of course my mom was super hard on me because she believed that is what I needed to get things done. She wasn't an abusive alcoholic. The fact that Derek can stand proudly here today is from his own strength, not his mother.

Even so, that feeling of love he had for his mother had to be there, locked away, tight but still there. I walked up to him and put my hand on his shoulder. Derek let out a deep sigh.

"Sorry about getting all deep here. I came here to help you and ranted like an old man. Heh, almost showed my age there for a bit." Derek said.

"I'm a good listener Derek." I said.

"That you are. Anyway, time to go back, you really need a bath. Don't worry your pretty little head missy. I'm alright. Just got emotional with all the happenings around here. I can only see this much, you can't hide under the darkness forever. You got to search for that light and, when you find it, don't let go." Derek laughed, the darkness never really staying with him. I guess from all the shit he had to live through in his life, he finally learned that the best way to deal with everything is to look on the bright side of things. I have to admit, I kinda want to be like him when I grow older.

Will I have to grow older in dragon age? At this point I can't really say but I'd like to learn more from the people around me.

We got back in record time. For once I was turning heads because of my smell. Oddly enough, with Tevinter influence, dwarves were surprisingly clean people. Unless you were a casteless of course. Either way, I managed to get to the baths in record time to clean up all the sweat, dirt, and waste. If this pans out, then that's a step toward the right direction! Yeah!

* * *

 **Beta'd by Syutaku**

 **Sorry it took so late to update this. I thought I sent this off 2 weeks ago to my beta. I asked him after a week why it was taking so long, turns out, it didn't get delivered! So I sent it again and, again, it didn't go through! 3rd time was the charm and he got it and reviewed it as fast as he could. Stupid Yahoo...anyway, I'm happy and yet not happy with this chapter. It feels sort of redundant in my opinion but I also got to explore Nia's growing power too. Man, I got to catch up. Also I will try, key word is try, to do that November challenge in writing 20,000 words in a month, or was it 10...?**

 **Thank you Anbludx, JaeBard, and haha19 for favoriting/following! Thank you HellaRose (** _I'm glad you're liking the progression!_ **), DannyPhantom619 (** _I try to reply to questions and whatnot all the time :3_ **), angelbeets (** _Nice to see you again!_ **), and TheoGrey (** _No, you're great!_ **), Chimera Spyke (** _My family is a roast, he roasts, she roasts, I roast, it can get brutal at times_ **) For reviewing!**

 **I'm SOOOO happy that I got 5 reviews last chapter, everyone of you is awesome! :D Please review!**


	82. Author's Note

Hi everyone. It's been a long time since I've updated but there is a reason, well, several reasons for this. There's a TL;DR at the end.

First off I want to start as to the start of my fanfiction, Day of Our Lives. Back in 2014, my life was a mess. My marriage was on the rocks, I was stressed out with the kids, I had no social life or friends, I was just living day to day for...nothing. Then I finally began my fanfic and it was a coping mechanism to get out of my life. Then people started to like it which made me want to write more. First of all, I never intended on going past Dragon Age:Origins. I was going to end it and not continue past that. Then Inquisition came out and all these ideas started to pop up in my head.

So I kept on writing and it got more popular until I realized I made a rookie mistake: I didn't know where the story was going to be heading. I had all these ideas here and there but they were very jumbled and unorganized. I basically whipped up something out of nothing and that wasn't good. I realized that halfway through Days of Our Past when I encountered lots of plot holes and things that I left out because I wanted to get all the stuff on the table too fast. So I took a step back and started to rewrite everything.

Rewriting everything finally allowed me to put all my ideas in order. I got to expand on things that I wasn't able to before, include even more in depth stuff to my character as well as the world following all the information included in Inquisition. I was finally making my dream come true.

Then I started to update less. From every three days to four, to weekly, to almost monthly until I had to admit, I was burnt out. I did have a timeline for everything but not only did I burnt out, my life actually got way better.

I salvaged my marriage, my kids are growing up wonderfully, my job is giving me more hours, and I finally had a social life and friends. Because of this, however, I was writing less and less since I didn't need to escape my reality anymore. Don't get me wrong, I still write but I had to take a step back away from Dragon Age for a bit since that's all I've been doing since 2014. That, and the lack of input from my readers, made me stop.

From the time I stopped, I started to write again. I already have 10 chapters in backlog. You must be wondering, "Then why aren't you updating?" Because I want to get this to where I want it to be. To explain it further, I want to get up to Inquisition. Once Anthem hits, Bioware is going to focus all of it's attention to the new Dragon Age and I want to be there, writing about it, when it comes out. So I'm trying to write all I can this year so that next year, I can upload it all at once. My goal is to at least finish writing up to DA2 and, if everything allows me, past Asunder and into Inquisition.

So I'm sorry for not updating, I'm sorry for ghosting you all but, as many authors say, real life got in the way. I haven't forgotten about you or this story but I must ask for some patience. When I come back in 2019, I hope to upload a chapter a day until we get to the good stuff.

Until then, I'll be silent. Chimera Spyke, Hella Rose, Buggy300, and the many that reviewed on nearly all my chapters from my old story up to the rewrite, I thank ALL of you for being there for me. I would have never gotten as far as I did without you guys. Especially you Chimera Spyke. You have always been there for me.

See you in 2019.

TL;DR: Writing was used as a coping and escape. Real life got better and in the way. More chapters up to DA2 or Inquisition by 2019.


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